Serving with Grace: Faith, Caregiving, and a Power of Attorney

Caring for aging parents or loved ones can be one of life's most emotional and challenging journeys, especially when legal responsibilities like power of attorney become part of the process. In today's episode of Digging Deeper Treasures, I sit down with author and illustrator Lizzy of EO Writes to discuss her heartfelt book, Maintaining the Balance with a Power of Attorney. 

Through personal stories, biblical encouragement, and practical wisdom, Lizzy shares how God carried her through the difficult yet healing journey of serving both of her parents during their final season of life. This conversation offers hope, peace, comfort, and guidance for anyone navigating caregiving, family responsibilities, and the call to serve with grace and faith.

Lizzy AKA EOWrites is the author of Maintaining the Balance with a Power of Attorney 1 & 2, and five other books.  

Connect with Lizzy through

her website EO Writes eowrites.com, via email at lizzy@eowrites.com 

or check out her books through https://www.amazon.com/stores/EO Writes/author/B0DPB2YK8W https://www.pinterest.com/lizzy2472 

Connect with Cecille:

https://www.cecillevaloria.com

https://www.instagram.com/valoriacecille/

Theme Music: Descript stock music-Soiree

Intro & Outro- by Leva (Pixabay lemonmusicstudio)

Transcript

0:06

Caring for aging parents or loved ones can be one of life's most emotional and challenging journeys, especially when legal responsibilities like power of attorney become part of the process. In today's episode of Digging Deeper Treasures, I sit down with author and illustrator Lizzy of EO Writes to discuss her heartfelt book, Maintaining the Balance with a Power of Attorney. Through personal stories, biblical encouragement, and practical wisdom, Lizzy shares how God carried her through the difficult yet healing journey of serving both of her parents during their final season of life. This conversation offers hope, comfort, and guidance for anyone navigating caregiving, family responsibilities, and the call to serve with grace and faith. A disclaimer. The information shared in this podcast episode is intended for encouragement and general information purposes only and is not meant to serve as legal advice. Every power of attorney situation is unique, and listeners are encouraged to seek professional legal counsel or consult a qualified attorney regarding their specific circumstances. This podcast is not intended to replace legal, financial, or professional advice. Thank you

Audio Only - All Participants 1:53

Welcome to Digging Deep for Treasures podcast. This is Cecille Valoria, a Christian author and a retired teacher. This podcast is to encourage women to grow in their faith and harness the power of the Holy Spirit as we unearth scriptural truths so that we can live in a peace-filled life in our fear-prone world. So now sit back, relax, and let's dig deep for treasures in his word. Hi, Lizzy. Welcome to Digging Deep for Treasures podcast. Thank you so much for being here. How about we start with you introducing yourself to us and letting us know a little bit about yourself? Thank you, Cecille, for having me. My name is Lizzy. I live in New York with my husband of 28 years. I have an adult daughter with us, two cats, and my crazy German shepherd, Spartacus. I am an author and illustrator. When I'm not writing or illustrating, if the weather permits, my husband and I are usually traveling on our Harley, and I've self-published seven books under the name E.O Writes. That is so cool about your self-publishing journey- Yeah as well as your Harley journey. Yeah. Some people are kinda surprised by that, the little Harley chick on the side, but yep. Yeah. So you do- It works you have the entire getup where- yes you have the leather jacket and everything else? Leather chaps when it's really cold, and I usually wear a headband and, yup, get my hair back so it's c- under the helmet and isn't all frizzy from the helmet. And yeah. Oh, my goodness. I love it. It's just awesome. I love it. I admire you for doing that. I- Thanks am probably too, scared to do the motorcycle thing. But I do- Oh, I was at first. Yeah. Yeah. I do remember growing up, my dad had a motorcycle also, and there were three of us kids, and my mom and the three of us kids would ride in this motorcycle with my dad. Can you imagine that? Oh, wow. And you know where my place was where- Aw the gas tank was. So I'm, like, right in front of where my dad is driving. Wow. Yeah. But I don't know if I can handle that, especially, on our freeways and stuff. Yeah. It's not for everybody. When my husband first got his first Harley, I was like, "I'm not getting on that thing." My daughter was just talking about this the other day, and she's "Now, Mom, you just love it." Now it's been years, and we just take off and go. It was, it's no big deal now. Now, do you drive a Harley or the Harley yourself? No, I'm just the rider. Oh, okay. Get on my little queen si- it's a queen seat on the back, and just go. Oh, okay. Okay. Now, where in New York? Are you in the city or- Yeah, I'm out, I'm near Buffalo Okay. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I know where that is. Yeah. Yeah. Because we traveled to Toronto, and we- actually visited Niagara Falls through the other side- Oh, okay of Buffalo. Yes. So I know where that is. Yeah. Yeah. So anyways, tell us about your seven books. Oh, boy. Put me on the spot there. Now I gotta think. I'm so sorry. It's okay. I just gotta think about them. How about- I- How about... Yeah, go ahead. I started with A Case of Mistaken Identity, which is a fiction book. And a poetry book came after that. Hold on. I gotta think here. Pen with Purpose. I had probably 15 or so of those poems are ones I had over the years. And I had a opportunity to take this class on how to put together a poetry book in Reedsy. And I was like, "You know what? That sounds good. I've got poems already started." Yeah. God just all of a sudden gave me all these others. They just flooded in. I ended up having 50 poems- Oh, wow put that book together. Yeah. It was God. I, I- Yeah can't take credit for it. It was like all of a sudden- Yeah I had all these poems. And the one after that... I say I gotta think here. Let's see. I'm just not gonna go in order. Just trying to remember them all. It's okay. Yeah. I have one that's Getting Unstuck that has to do with teaching someone my journey, helping them along the way of self-publishing. Okay. Okay. And then I have- That's a good one yeah, that, that was a lot of fun to put together. Yeah. I have another poetry book that's Deep Cough to Deep. And the other books I have is two children's books. I have a ABC book, which can really actually be used as a curriculum- for kindergartners or a little bit younger. And then I have a book called Luna Goes Exploring, which is my newest one. That's a journey about a little girl who finds out about God. She learns about God. Oh, I love that. So- And do you know that that is really close to my heart because our dog was named Luna. Oh, really? And... Yes. Aw. And while I was caregiving for both my brother and my dad, Luna who actually was my son's Australian shepherd. Oh. She was... Yeah. And she would take vacations here because my son lives out of state. Okay. She he would bring her here, and she would stay for months with us. Aw. And during the time when I was caregiving for my dad, Luna was my therapy dog. Aw. Yeah. So the name Luna is very close to my heart, so- Aw I have to check out your book. But anyways, one book in particular that you did not mention that we're- going to be talking about today- is called Maintaining the Balance with a Power of Attorney. So what inspired you to write Maintaining the Balance with a Power of Attorney? I think the main thing was because of my journey of what I learned through it, I wanted to help other people, 'cause I don't even think there's a book out there like that- Yeah to help both parties. There's two books. There's one to both parties. The one that's doing the POA and the one that's being served. And so both parties see what the responsibilities are. They know what they're getting themselves into beforehand. They know what their rights are, the one that's being served. And it just basically, it has some practical help, some printouts and things to help. But the main me- the whole story is that God was the one that led me into the POA. Okay. Okay. So I decided to write that book as a help for the journey, but there's a bit of my parents' story. There's a little bit the story about how that, what transpired over that year when I was the POA of my parents. So now did you know anything about POA before you- No became one? No. My, my father it happened right the s- it was, it's quite, quite the way everything came together. My father had fell down the stairs- on his neck, and he couldn't... He had he had some nerve damage. Okay. So his, the bank could not make out his checks. So the hospice, because both my parents were on hospice, they were both dealing with terminal illnesses, and the hospice said, "Okay, he..." My mom was in the hospital at the time too because she had- a breakdown over what was going on with Dad. So they're in the same hospital together. And so the caseworker is "The bank is not accepting his checks." Oh. "And so he can't write checks anymore." They said, "What do you think of doing power of attorney?" I wasn't even sure what that was. And so they talked me over, talked to me about what it was and I was like, "Okay." And I asked my dad, I'm like, "What do you think?" And my dad he just goes, "You have a good head on your shoulders." Yeah. "I think you could do it." Yeah. Yeah. So that's how I got started down that journey. So what exactly is a power of attorney- It's basically- for those who don't know? If you have someone, it doesn't- negate the res- the rights of the one that you're serving. Okay. They still have rights. They still have a say. It's basically you're walking with them and helping them. With my dad's situation, he could no longer write checks, so I could help with writing checks. Whatever that is they wanted me to do, I could help them with. But that other person still has a say over everything. They can even fire you if they want to, if they feel- okay, you're not doing a good job, I'm terminating you. So it's just basically a walk a companion to help with those areas that they're, they can't do- Okay or they're having trouble with. So did you have to seek legal counsel for this or, I had- And how about the forms and stuff, were they given to you? What happened there? Yes. They had forms at the hospital, which I didn't realize the hospital has this, but they ha- actually had the forms there. So the caseworker had to be in the room, and one of the nurses had to be there 'cause they have to have somebody witnessing it. So they'd sign it, witness it. I would sign it, and then one time I did meet my lawyer 'cause I had to discuss some things, but other than that, I pretty much knew what my role was and just followed along with it. Okay. So what's the difference between your part one book or book one and book two? The difference is, like I said, that both of them had the story at the beginning is the same. Okay. So both parties get the story of my parents. The difference is the one has the help for the one that's doing the POA. Okay. The other is for the one that is being served. So they both get their rights, they get, what is expected of them, what is it, their, what their role is. They get some helps in there, like printouts, just basically to help both parties. And if someone's I don't know if I wanna do the POA," or someone's seeking out having someone do it- they can get both books and they can both work together and say, "Okay, do I wanna do this or do I not?" Okay. Okay. So when people are, like yourself, 'cause you had to get this POA because you were now given a responsibility, right? To take care of your dad's finances or to make sure that you're helping him so that he- Yes would be able to access his accounts and stuff. So when people are carrying responsibility for loved ones, what fears commonly begin to take over? I think it, it just, you wanna make sure you're getting everything covered. Making sure all the bills are paid, making sure, everything is legal. There's certain things with a POA, I had to, when I went to their bank, because my name was added to their bank account, they were both in the nursing home so I could help them. 'Cause my mom, later, she I became POA for her too. And so I had to bring a paper saying th- this shows I'm a POA. A signed paper. You have to prove it before they'll even work with you. So a lot of times I had to give that paper. For me it wasn't as much as the POA or anything, it was just knowing my parents' health was declining. Yeah. Not knowing when that call was coming in. That was my biggest thing. Wondering, are they okay at the nursing home? Are they being treated well, and Those things that you don't know, that- Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I think coming from a standpoint of, where I was as a caregiver, and your experience ta- doing this POA for your parents, I think the difference there is I was myself taking care of my dad. Yeah, that's big. Whereas you were Yeah, so I guess the fears that we experience are somewhat similar as well as different. Like what you said about making sure that, they're taken cared of well, and stuff like that. So if I were to ask you what was your biggest fear with handling everything that concerned your parents? Besides, of course, their, making sure that they were taken cared of well what was one big fear that you had? I don't really what that would be other than, like I said, just the constant that call would come in. Yes. Okay. Yeah. That was a big one for me because I was just watching them and wondering, and you're seeing these signs. I hated going to the nursing home. It was so hard. Yeah. Yeah. Walking in that door wondering, what am I gonna see? Yeah. Yeah. How are they doing today? Yeah. I think with me, one of, one of the fears that I experienced also is, am I doing the best for them? Am I doing- That's a good yeah the right thing for them? I hear you there. Yeah. Are you doing the- yeah. Yeah, and I believe that's where even if you are concerned or you're fearful about- How it would transpire. Yeah. I think we also fear about is this the best thing for them? Yeah. So were there- You're right y- were there biblical truths that helped you personally maintain balance during emotionally heavy seasons? There were different ones for me. I know Philippians 4 thir- 4:13 was a good one. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Yeah. Another one was 2 Timothy 1:7, "For God hath not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind." I love that. Yeah. Yeah. And those scripture verses have really helped me, not only in my caregiving journey, but also when I grew up with general anxiety disorder. Those were scripture verses that really- Wow anchored me. Yeah. They're good ones. Yeah, they are. So what lies do women often believe when they're overwhelmed with responsibility? I bet you, you went through a period where the responsibility for your parents was overwhelming. Did you? Yeah. Yeah. I was in my last year of homeschooling my daughter. Okay. So this just came along and I was just like, "Oh," yeah. And I also was working at home remotely- Yeah as a sales representative. So it just was like So it was big. Yeah. I say for me as I think as that no one cares or no one sees what you're going through. Yeah. I know verses I was thinking of is Matthew 10:31, "Fear not, you are of more value than many sa- sparrows." And then Genesis 16:13, which I love, how Hagar called God the God who sees me, because he intervened. And I think that's a big one is sometimes you feel like, does anyone care? Does anyone know what I'm going through? And you're trying to 'Cause I was like at the point I was at, taking care of my parents with a POA and a health proxy, I also was doing both of their bank accounts and our bank account. Yeah. Yeah. And that's hard. I look back Yeah, I look back now and I go, "How did I do that?" Exactly. God, there was no way I could have done all that without Him. Yes. Yeah. And the one thing that really amazed me was the fact that I had this job that I was doing remotely- And I never r- really thought about it, and not too long ago when I was working through all this, putting together for today- God said to me, he said, "That was your escape." The job. I never thought about that- Yeah. Yeah the job helped me to set aside the POA and what was going on with mom and dad, 'cause I thought about them all the time. I was always concerned- Yeah about them. Yeah. Always thinking about them. And I had Christian coworkers that would pray for me. I had a mentor that was, that with the company that would, I would talk with. So I needed that. God knew I- Yeah needed that for that time. So it helped- And that- me get through it. Yeah. And that is, something that is really amazing about our God is- Yes. Yeah he knows exactly what we need, and he provides for our needs. He provides us with- Yes, he does at the exact time that we need it. I don't know if you've noticed that, but- he just, he knows more than sometimes we do, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So what practical ways can you suggest to women to protect their peace during stressful family situations, like the ones you've gone through? I would say is, of course, prayer. You know- prayer is a biggie. Reading the Word. Just sometimes you just have to get away and just sit in a quiet room and just listen for the Lord. I found a lot of times I just had to get quiet, just had to get away from all the noise, all the voices. Yeah. My mom, she made this behind me. Oh. And it says, "A life hemmed with prayer never unravels." Beautiful. And- And for those who can't see what Lizzie is pointing to- Yeah it's actually a framed art- Yeah that is hanging on her wall. Stitched. Yes. Yeah. Oh, she, her mom stitched it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's hard to see, even here. Yeah. Yeah. I hear you. Yeah. Yeah. So it's just that reminder of prayer. Yeah. Prayer just, prayer does so much, that, I think that's the big one, is prayer. Getting alone with God and just quieting yourself and hearing him. Yeah. It sure does. I mean- I know for myself I wouldn't have gone through what I've gone through- Yes without being on my knees. That's it. Yeah. So what is one truth from God's word you want to leave with a woman listening today who feels overwhelmed or afraid? I would say Psalms 56:3, "What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Oh, that's beautiful. I'm sure that is something that, can really encourage or help other women- especially when they're going through hard times. Yes. Yeah. So Lizzie, is there something else you want to share that you wanna leave- with our audience today? I think the big thing for me, which it's funny how time gets away from you, and you don't think of these things. And God, the other day, was so gracious to remind me that with my parents the big thing about my parents with the POA was that... Sorry. No. W- was that before the POA, years before that I was looking at my parents' apartment. I thought, "Oh my goodness. We're gonna have to sort through all of that," and I was like, "Oh, so much work." Yes. And God's what if I want you to do it?" So this was years before- this even came into place. And when the POA came, a part of me was like- it was just harping to wanna do it, and I knew I was the one. There was nobody else that was gonna be able to do this. God wanted me to do it. The amazing thing was is my mom and I were not close. Okay. Yeah. We had issues from my teen years that just still were not resolved. And my dad and I were pretty close, but there was still, there was estrangement with the relationship. Yeah. So God placed me in a serving position. So smart. Put me in a serving position. Okay, now I'm gonna get teary-eyed. Oh. And throughout that year, it was the hardest thing to serve my mom. I could serve my dad, but my mom- it was hard. Yeah. And on the... And there were times I'd come in and I... God showed me t- was, that they were children. I saw them as children. The- the roles had reversed. I w- was there when my mom... One time I come in, and she was all hot, and I felt... I'm like, "Mom, you're hot," and I got a washcloth. My mom was dealing with lung cancer. My dad had cirrhosis- of the liver, so it was a hard thing to watch them both. Yeah. Yeah. And but they both were in the same room in the nursing home, which is amazing. That doesn't usually- Yeah happen. Yeah. And so I would come in there, and I'd put a cloth on her, and all this time I was serving her. By the last day, my mom said to me, she said, th- this has been delightful, these visits." And I said, "Mom, we've come a long ways, haven't we?" Yeah. And I reached out, and I grabbed her hand, and see, this was very huge for me. Yeah. Yeah. I knew that day there was forgiveness. To my mom. There was a healing. Yeah. And I can say as well my soul. Yeah. Yeah. I, and God is so good. He had to take a serving role. Yeah. When you're right there in that I think the biggest thing I can say if someone is like, "I'm having a hard time serving this person," because maybe there's hurt there. God can make that beautiful because I, I have no regrets because I would have hated if they would have passed and I never forgive. Yeah. So it- Oh it just was awesome. It took a year, but it worked. God did it. Yeah. Oh, my goodness. And that's such an important point, yeah. That we won't have regrets. That's it. When... Yeah. And I think that the way God worked things out, He knew. He knew that- Yes, He did yeah. He knew that you needed it as much as your parents needed it. Exactly. And, And even my father, my dad turned to me at, during a meeting one time at the nursing home. This was... Y- you got to figure. Y- you don't know my past, but I was a very rebellious, bratty teenager. Yeah. So my dad turns to me and he goes, "Steph, this here's my blessing." Yeah. What a way for my parents to pass to go, "She's our blessing." Yeah. She was there in our last year when we needed her and just- Yeah all the things that God did, it's just- Yeah it so amazes me. Oh. So- He's so good are both of your parents gone? Yes. They both passed within a month apart. Two months apart. Oh, wow. Yeah. My- Oh, wow my dad went first. My mom went two months later, so yeah. I'm so sorry to hear that, but the good thing- Thank you is that, forgiveness happened. Yes. Healing happened. And what you said, there are no regrets. No. And no, no chance for the enemy to point at you- Exactly and make you guilty, right? Yes. God points that song all the time. It Is Well With My Soul. Yes. It is well. Exactly. And I knew it and, because it was a hard time, hard for me at times. My mom would hold my hand, and I felt that. I felt there was a wall. Yeah. But the fact that I reached out, that was huge for me. I reached out and grabbed her hand first. Yeah. Yeah. And it just, I knew at that moment that it was done. Yeah. That healing process, that forgiveness, it was done. Oh. Praise God. Just in time. Yes. Just in time. On that day that she passed that night. Wow. Yeah. It's good. That night she passed and I was like, "Thank you." Yeah. Yeah. And just, it just, God just amazed me in that. So to me, servanthood. Servanthood is where it's at. God has- a way of taking, when you're in the role of servanthood, he's gonna change your heart. He's gonna do something amazing. Because basically that's what Jesus did- Yes when he- Yes, that's true came to Earth. Yes. He came not to be served but to serve. Yes. Exactly. And I think, you walked that same road with your parents. Yes. Yeah. And with that, Lizzy- I'm thankful for that I wanna thank you so much for being our guest today. Thank you. And you are able to to connect with Lizzy through, can you tell us, please? I have a website, elwrites.com. You can also, if you're interested, sign up for my mailing list on there. You can do it through my site. It's called the Pen of a Ready Writer. And this will be in the show notes. So you don't have to worry if you didn't write this down, because this will be in the show notes. Again, I thank Lizzy for being our guest today. And blessings to all of you. And thank you, Cecille. Thank you, Lizzy. You're welcome.

28:47

Thank you for joining me today on this episode of Digging Deep for Treasures. If you enjoyed it, I'd love for you to subscribe so you don't miss any future ones. Of course, it would be amazing if you leave a rating and a review. This will help more women to find the podcast and grow in their hope and peace. If you're not sure how to leave a rating and review, click on the podcast app you are listening to and look for the rating and reviews option. I'd like to also invite you to join my private Facebook group so we can get to know each other more. It's a great community where we can engage, learn, and grow together. Just hop on to @diggingdeepfortreasures, then enter your name and email, and you will receive an invite for the group. Or you can also connect with me on my website@cecillevaloria.com or at, in my Instagram at, @valoriacecille. Thank you once again, and may you have a blessed week. See you in two weeks