FCLP 12 | Why Women Are Using AI Less Than Men

In this practical leadership conversation, Kadi Cole explores a quiet technology gap that could shape the future of ministry leadership. Research shows women are currently using AI tools significantly less than men in professional environments - and that difference may affect your leadership capacity for years to come.

This episode explains what AI actually is in simple terms, addresses the ethical conflict many women feel about using it, and offers practical ways to begin using these tools wisely. You’ll learn how AI can function like administrative support - helping organize ideas, draft documents, and reclaim time - while you remain fully responsible for discernment, leadership, and final decisions.

TIMESTAMPS

02:15 - Women using AI 25% less than men 

03:45 - Why AI can feel like an integrity issue 

06:20 - What is AI? 

09:10 - Is using AI cheating? 

11:30 - Leaning In Early: The Hidden Figures Lesson 

16:00 - How to use AI: The 10-80-10 delegation method 

19:20 - What to be careful about using AI

Resources mentioned:

Podcast: FCLP 3 | Delegating Without Micromanaging Using 10-80-10

Next Steps and Resources:

• Take the Quiz: Identify your growth gap with our Sticky Floor Quiz at femalechurchleaders.com.
• Join a Cohort: Be part of our next Closing the Leadership Gap cohort for guided coaching and monthly Q&A with Kadi. Visit closingtheleadershipgap.com to learn more.
• Stay Connected: Follow us on Instagram @femalechurchleaders for daily encouragement and leadership tools.
• Spread the Word: If you found this episode helpful, please follow, rate, and share the podcast to help us reach more female church leaders.

Tune in and get ready to lead with clarity, strength, and joy. Your calling matters, and we're here to support you every step of the way!

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Welcome to the Female Church Leaders Podcast, a weekly resource for women who love God, love the church, and are called to lead. I'm your host, Katie Cole, Church Leader, Autor, and Executive Coach. After more than 30 years in full-time ministry, Open as the only woman at the table, I understand how meaningful yet challenging your calling can be. That's why I created this podcast to remind you that you're not leading alone. Each week, I'll share practical tools, biblical insights, and honest encouragement for the real challenges female leaders face in ministry. So you can grow your skills, strengthen your faith, and lead with more confidence and joy without burning out or striving to prove yourself. We drop a new episode every Monday because Sunday is coming and you are gonna be ready for it. I want to talk about something that at first glance may not feel that important, but I actually think it has long-term spiritual and leadership implications. There is a quiet gap forming right now. It's not theological, it's not generational, it's technological. Recent research shows women are using AI tools about 25% less than men in professional environments. That doesn't mean women are less capable, it doesn't mean we're less intelligent or less techy, but it does mean something is subtly happening. Because the leaders who embrace new tools early increase their leadership capacity ahead of the curve. And that changes what's possible for years to come. I do not want female leaders waking up three years from now thinking, how did we get here? When did everyone else move ahead? Why do I suddenly feel even further behind? Now, let me say this clearly up front. I am not an expert on artificial intelligence. I don't code. I'm not out there building innovative algorithms. I'm figuring out AI just like everybody else. But I do spend my time working in local churches and studying female church leaders, and I can see the pattern forming. You are not behind yet, my friend, but this is your moment to decide not to be. If you find yourself hesitant to embrace AI, I want you to know I get it. It actually makes perfect sense and even is backed by the research. For most of us, resistance isn't about learning something new or even the actual technology. It's about a sense of integrity. We were raised and discipled to value hard work, honesty, authenticity, trustworthiness, doing things the right way. And in church leadership especially, we know our character is everything. If God is going to entrust us with people, influence, teaching, and care, then we must do things above board. So when something like AI comes along and it feels like it's doing part of the work for us, it can trigger something kind of deep. It makes us question: is this honest? Is this cutting corners? Is this less than authentic? Some research suggests that women are more likely to avoid tools they perceive as ethically gray. Women tend to over-index on fairness and responsibility and question anything that tends to taint that. Now, that is not a weakness, my friend. That's understanding the seriousness of the spiritual weight we carry, and it's beautiful. But here's the important distinction: there is a difference between compromising your character and leveraging a tool. Your integrity is about who you are. AI is about how you execute. Those are not the same thing. If you use a spreadsheet to manage your budget, no one questions your character. If you use GPS to get somewhere faster, no one thinks you're cheating. But because AI is a new way of thinking and it's very powerful, it feels different. There are concerns and cautions. People are raising flags, and we don't want to get caught doing something wrong. It's completely understandable, but the solution isn't to avoid it. The solution is to understand it. Once you understand what it is and what it isn't, I promise you, your fears will begin to go away. So let's take a look at this and demystify it a bit. When people say AI or artificial intelligence, what they're usually talking about right now are tools like ChatGPT, Claude, Google Gemini, and Microsoft Copilot. And I say right now intentionally, because AI is actually much bigger than these tools. It's not just one app or one website, it's an entire branch of computer science focused on building systems that can simulate certain human cognitive functions, things like learning patterns, recognizing relationships and data, reasoning through possibilities, and generating responses. Instead of being programmed with rigid step-by-step instructions like older software, AI systems are trained on massive amounts of data and learn how to identify patterns. They predict what comes next based on probability rather than following a fixed script. That is a big shift in how technology works. But the tools we're interacting with at this moment, the ones most of us can subscribe to for about 20 bucks a month, are all basically the same. They're based on what's called large language models. And this is where it gets really practical for us. A large language model is trained on enormous volumes of text, books, articles, websites, conversations, and it learns how language typically works. It doesn't quote no facts the way a person does. It predicts what words are most likely to come next in response to your request. AI is not thinking, it's not discerning, it's definitely not praying, but it is predicting language patterns. And that's why it can draft emails, outline training plans, or brainstorm ideas so quickly. It has seen millions of examples of those kinds of documents before. And that's also why you still have to review everything very carefully, because it is designed to fulfill your request, even if it has to guess. So when we talk about AI in this episode, we're mostly talking about these language tools. Think of this as the first act of a much larger technological shift. There will absolutely be more visual tools, data tools, automation tools, and they are already emerging. But for now, language models are the entry point for most of us. And once you understand what they actually are and how they work, they become much less mysterious and much more manageable. Now, let's talk about this idea of cheating. It's okay if part of you feels that way. This technology is new, it's unfamiliar, and it does feel like a shortcut because it is. But let's think this through. Is it cheating to use a spreadsheet to create your budget? Is it cheating to use spellcheck before sending out a mass email? Is it cheating to use Planning Center to send out the order of service to all your volunteers? Is it cheating to use Canva templates instead of designing everything from scratch? Language models are essentially tools, but for communication. You still need to understand theology. You still need to practice discernment. And you still need to know what your theology and what your church teaches. But you do not need to manually draft every single outline, email, and job description from a blank screen and from scratch if a tool can help you structure it quicker. And here's the key: when you use AI, you are not outsourcing responsibility. You are simply accelerating efficiency. That is not compromise. It's actually good stewardship, but it can be a mindset shift. I remember trying to teach my son his multiplication tables in fifth grade. In an effort to, you know, motherly motivate him, I explained how important they were to memorize because you won't always have a calculator with you. He simply reached into his pocket, pulled out his phone, looked at me, and said, I literally do. And I mean, I laughed because he was right. He was growing up in a world where the tools have shifted from what I grew up with. Language AI models are like calculators for writing and organizing ideas. You still need to understand the math, but you no longer have to do long division by hand every time. One of my favorite movies is called Hidden Figures. It tells the true story of brilliant black women mathematicians at NASA in the 1960s who were doing complex calculations by hand before computers were integrated. At one point in the movie, NASA brings in a massive IBM computer and begins setting it up and testing it. Now, the woman could have resisted. They could have seen it as a threat. Instead, their leader recognizes something critical. The machine is the future. So she secretly teaches her team how to program it. And when NASA hits a roadblock and desperately needs someone who understands the computer, guess who's ready? That's right. The women who leaned in early. They actually weren't replaced. They became indispensable. And that's what I see for us in this moment. AI is not the end of thoughtful, spirit-led leadership. It's an opportunity to expand it. This doesn't have to threaten your calling. It can actually strengthen your contribution. The leaders who lean in now, while it's still new, still forming, still kind of misunderstood, are the ones who will increase their capacity and widen their influence. Not because they're chasing technology, but because they're learning to steward it. So instead of asking, will this replace me or is this cheating? a better question might be: how can I grow into this early so I'm ready when it becomes normal? Why would we wait until everyone else is fluent? This is our moment to learn it while it's still taking shape and to grow with it, not behind it. I recently listened to a higher education professor speak about AI. Four years ago, universities were panicking, he said. They were terrified how students were using AI to plagiarize their homework. They were afraid they couldn't keep up. But over the last few years, they've adjusted. Professors have redesigned assignments to require critical thinking beyond what AI could fake. They began using AI themselves and their own leadership to draft recommendation letters faster, to organize course materials, to manage their schedules. And the professor said something that stuck with me. It didn't replace our work, it accelerated it. It actually gave them time back. And here's where this matters for us. I can say with a lot of confidence that no one I know in ministry has the administrative support we wish we did. Most churches cannot afford to give most ministry leaders a personal assistance, even though that would be such a game changer for all of us. But for only$20 a month, which is the cost of a paid AI subscription, you can have a powerful creative, brainstorming, strategizing, and organizing partner. And I do strongly recommend you get the paid versions, by the way. They are significantly more capable, more accurate, and more consistent than the free tiers. It is so worth the investment. Now, one of the simplest ways to think about AI is this. Think of it like having a part-time admin support team, not a replacement for you, not someone doing your job, more like someone who can take the first pass at all the repetitive, time-eating tasks that keep you from the work only you can do. And I'll tell you what I love most about it. I can literally just dump my brain and thoughts into it. I'll type or dictate random ideas, half sentences, bullet points, timelines, notes from a hallway conversation. I'll copy and paste chunks from other documents. Sometimes I'll even attach a PDF or a spreadsheet just to narrow down the focus. And then I just tell it what I want it to make. For example, I'll type into Chat GPT, take all these random topics and ideas listed below and assemble them for my team meeting. Here are the three people who are attending, create a one-hour agenda that buckets similar topics, includes key metrics, and leaves time for a short devotional and prayer. And boom, there it is, within seconds. And I'm not even using complete sentences. I'm not correcting spelling. I'm not worrying about grammar. Now, I'll admit I still type please and thank you because I'm at that age where I can't help myself. And I'm a little afraid if I stop being polite to all my technology, I'll stop being polite to real humans. So I'm trying to stay consistent in my habit. But you can just dump it in there and not give it a second thought. AI is not going to be offended by how you tell it. Now, this next part is really important. Even with AI, you still have to practice 1080-10 delegation. And if you haven't heard of 1080 10 or the podcast we did on that episode, go back and grab it from the show notes. It'll make everything I'm about to say make even more sense. So here's what 1080-10 looks like with AI. You still own the first 10%, meaning you set the vision, you define the purpose, the audience, the tone, the outcomes, the guardrails. You tell AI what matters most to you. Then let AI take the middle 80%. Let it draft the agenda, create the outline, write that first version of the email, reformat the volunteer training, brainstorm themes for a retreat, turn your messy notes into something usable. But then you must still own the last 10%. That is the final review and approval before it goes out the door to whoever it's supposed to go to. You're looking for things that AI can't do: things like tone, discernment, alignment with your church's values, accuracy, how it's going to land with real people. Because here's the thing AI does not care about what's true. It cares about fulfilling what you asked it to do by predicting what it thinks you want. So please hear me clearly. Do not copy and paste something it gives you and send it out without editing. Use it like a draft, a starting point. AI is a collaborator, not an authority. And the good news is you can refine it as many times as you want. When it gives you its ideas, just type back in the chat, you left out this topic and we need at least 15 minutes on it. Redo the agenda. Or this tone is too formal. Make it warmer and more concise. Or that's not our church language. Rewrite it using the values I've attached and in the same brand, voice, and style. That is exercising leadership. That is being a good steward. That is you staying in charge. And a quick word of wisdom on what to be careful about. Because AI is a language model, they are not fact engines. They will guess if you let them. It's not like Google. So as a registered nurse, I feel obligated to tell you do not use AI for medical advice. Don't use it for legal advice. I haven't even found it that helpful for tech advice every time. Don't outsource theological conclusions with it. And if you ask it for research, give it this instruction. If there aren't enough real sources, tell me instead of creating fictional ones. That will keep you from getting fabricated research that looks like it's real. One more practical tip that's helped me. Occasionally I will ask AI in two different tools the same question. When the answers overlap, you can trust the direction more. Like, what are my vacation plans when I go over into this new place? Or what should I do for my kids in this area? You don't want to trust just one AR source. You want to overlap the information. If they don't overlap, it's a signal that you need to slow down and verify more so that you aren't getting incorrect information. Remember, you are leading the tool. The tool is not leading you. And let's be clear about the purpose of all this, just as a reminder, this is not to add more to your plate. If you're already working too many hours, this is a way to reduce them. This is about reclaiming margin so you can spend your best energy on the work that actually requires you. In Matthew 25, Jesus tells the parable of the talents. One servant took what he had been given and buried it in the ground. And when the master returned, his explanation was simple. I was afraid, he said. Fear actually kept him from multiplying what he had been entrusted to. Now, AI is not sacred, and it's not inherently evil either, but it is a tool in the world we are stewarding right now. And burying a tool out of fear isn't really what faithful stewardship looks like. Stewardship means engaging the opportunities and resources God places in our hands and then prayerfully discerning how to use them well. Not out of pressure, not out of a sense that we have to chase every new thing, but also not out of a false sense that doing everything the hardest way possible is somehow more spiritual. Sometimes faithful leadership simply means learning how to wisely use the tools available to you, trusting that God's calling on your life includes stewarding those tools with integrity, wisdom, and discernment. So here's your action step for this week. Begin exploring how AI can work for you. Start with ChatGPT or another basic program and simply start using it personally. That's how I usually begin, where the stakes are really low. Try using AI to plan your Easter dinner. You can find the menu, do the grocery list, you can delegate ideas to it. You could plan a spring breaker itinerary, you could draft a birthday message or brainstorm a retreat game. Experiment, learn how it responds, practice correcting it, research information how to use it better. Get comfortable with the new tool that has been given to us. Then slowly integrate it into your ministry workflows. Let AI do 70% of the repetitive structuring and ideation work, and you do the 30% human, relational, and spirit-led work. You don't have to become an AI expert, but you do need to become AI literate. And I promise this is something you absolutely can learn, even if you don't consider yourself a tech person. AI isn't some mysterious world reserved for engineers and programmers. In many ways, it's just another tool, not that different from when we all learned how to text, use Google, or ask Siri for directions. It may feel unfamiliar right now, but that doesn't mean it's beyond you. Female church leaders have always been thoughtful learners. We adapt, we grow, we figure things out, and this moment is no different. This is simply the next chapter of leadership development in today's context. And you don't have to navigate it alone because we are here to cheer you on every step of the way.com. It's a guided coaching experience, including live QA with me, designed to accelerate your leadership journey. If this podcast has been helpful to you, would you please take a moment to follow, rate, and share it? Your engagement helps the algorithms suggest our resources to female church leaders we haven't had a chance to meet yet. And don't forget to follow at female church leaders on Instagram for encouragement and leadership tools designed just for you. You can also follow my personal feed at Katie Cole, spelled K A D I C O L E. Keep leading faithfully, keep growing your leadership gifts, and I'll see you next Monday because Sunday is coming and you are going to be ready for it.