Debra's Story | Roads to Recovery

In this intense episode of "Roads to Recovery," host Jim Russell sits down with Deborah to explore her deeply moving and transformative journey through substance use disorder, adversity, and ultimately, hope. The episode opens with Jim's reflection on how family situations can both contribute to substance use and provide the turning point for change, a theme that resonates throughout Deborah's story.

Deborah recounts her childhood living with a father battling schizophrenia and the resulting instability and trauma that followed. She candidly shares how a lack of supervision and family support led her into substance use at an early age, setting her on a path of substance use disorder and unhealthy relationships that lasted decades. Facing abuse, brushes with the law, and life-threatening situations, Deborah's narrative is both harrowing and deeply human.

A turning point arrives with her involvement in treatment programs, a brush with legal consequences, and an encounter that forces her to confront the real costs of addiction. Yet, the journey is not linear—Deborah describes relapses and the struggle to maintain sobriety even as her circumstances change.

The heart of her story emerges when she adopts a child born exposed to meth and facing uncertain odds. This act of love becomes a catalyst for Deborah's ultimate transformation, motivating her to stay sober and work tirelessly to provide a better life for her new daughter. Despite immense challenges, ranging from health issues to natural disasters, Deborah's resilience shines as she rebuilds her life, pursues education, and becomes a counselor, helping others navigate their own roads to recovery.

This episode is a testament to the strength of the human spirit and the power of community, hope, and second chances. Remember that help is available, and recovery is always possible.

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

I didn't have any friends that were sober. All my friends drank and did drugs. I had no sober friends.

Intro 0:08

This is a true story.

SPEAKER_02 0:09

My negative choices started really, really young. I didn't have any friends that were sober. I didn't wake up one day and say, hey, I think I'm gonna be a drug addict today.

Intro 0:17

I didn't want to feel the pain I was feeling. I immediately had that.

SPEAKER_02 0:23

I'm not in control. It's never enough. He's like, here, try this. I almost lost my life. That is my main motivator. I don't want to go through this now. We do recover in Vermont County, but nobody can tell me any different.

Intro 0:36

Viewer discretion is advised. The content in this video addresses sensitive topics related to drugs and alcohol and may not be suitable for all audiences. This content is intended for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered as personal medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment recommendations. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional or a substance use disorder specialist for personalized guidance. The views and opinions expressed are those of the individuals presenting them and do not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of Vermilion County Public Health or the Vermilion County Mental Health 708 Board.

Jim Russell 1:12

Hello, it's Jim Russell, host of Roads to Recovery, and we are continuing to try to tell stories of people who are on those roads, some of the successes, some of the disappointments and challenges, and also some of the victories. In some cases, family dynamics and family situations can lead someone to trying a substance, using the substance as an escape, as uh an effort to feel better. But sometimes family situations and family circumstances can be the turning point in someone making a decision to do better, to get better, and to get on their own road to recovery. And that's Deborah's story.

SPEAKER_02 1:56

My dad had schizophrenia as far back as I can remember. He always thought people were trying to poison him, people were after him. My mother told me he used to whisper in her ear every night that he was gonna kill her. And she'd say, Oh, Chuck, you're not gonna kill me. You love me. My sister Dina had had a baby, and her and her husband were living with us, and my dad thought the baby was uh not a real baby and was something evil, and my mom was afraid he was gonna hurt the baby. She decided she was gonna divorce him, and she had the sheriff put my dad out of the house. Then my mom started looking for a new husband, and I had no time for us. So I had uh like no supervision growing up. We were poor, dressed bad, people made fun of me, picked on me. I didn't like school. I found older people that uh I thought were really cool and they taught me how to do drugs, and these people didn't care how I dressed, or that my family, you know, was poor, that my dad was crazy. They just wanted somebody else to get high with. So I was pretty much an alcoholic addict from the time I was 15 till I was 48 years old. Got a job at a bar when I was 17, and I thought that was just great. I could drink and smoke at work. I got a boyfriend when I was 19, he was abusive. I stayed with him till I was 25. He was probably 10 years older than me. If I would do something he didn't like, he would hit me. When I was 25, he pushed me out of a truck going 50 miles an hour. It was winter, and I remember rolling in a field, and I thought I'd never quit rolling, and I could see the things from my purse blowing. I was in intensive care for several weeks and it rattled my brain. I decided I had better leave, or he was just gonna kill me. That I married uh my first husband when I was 29 because I thought I was getting old that I should marry. I thought when I got married it was gonna be forever, and but I got a big divorce settlement. I took 20% of his settlement and 20% of his retirement fund. I didn't work for five years, I just stayed loaded. I can remember after my fifth UI being drunk and calling a psychic, ask her if I was gonna go to prison, and she was like, I don't see prison buddy ever thought about rehab. I'm in big trouble, and I had to pay a lot of money, hire a lawyer, 75 hours treatment. I went through treatment there at Prairie Center, and I had to do a victim impact panel. And what uh struck me most about the victim impact panel was a woman that spoke who was paralyzed because she had fallen out of a car and broken her neck, and I thought this could be me. And I stayed sober for a period of time, and then I started doing prescription drugs, sleeping pills, uh, nerve pills, valium, antidepressants. So I was just doing the medications for a while, but eventually I started drinking that again. My job was to put money on other people's credit cards. I thought rather than working overtime, I would just move money to my account. And I did that for two years before I was arrested. And I thought, boy, I really screwed this up. I got pretty low by this point because I'm facing going to prison. And I thought about driving my car into the traffic on Georgetown Road, and I thought I ought to just turn in front of all these cars. And uh but I didn't, and I can remember sitting on my bed trying to even learn how to eat again just because the withdrawal was so bad. So in August I got sober, and then Angeline was born in December. My uh great nephew had uh leukaemia, and he was diagnosed at just nine months old. Um his mother had him at a meth lab. He lived uh to be two years old. They died five days after a second birthday. My niece was nine months pregnant and a meth addict, and she was so thin he could see every bone in her face. His sister was born 13 days after he died. And I didn't think this baby would live either. So I went out there and uh took her. She was so tiny and her fingers looked like match sticks, and I'd never had children. I thought the DCFS would take her. I didn't think they would let me keep her because I had so much crap going on my own with all the DUIs, and then I've got this felony theft charge. They said, no, you can keep her. I'm like, well, okay. I adopted her. She changed my life and I changed hers. I decided if nobody else could get sober and take care of her, I would do it. There were straight line winds, like hundred mile an hour winds, and trees fell over my property and trees fell on my house, and I'm trying to get this fixed, and then I get the baby. So I'm working 12-hour shifts at Krupp and trying to raise a baby who's born uh exposed to meth, who can't stand to be held and cries all the time. I bought a chainsaw and cut trees up myself. I can remember feeling the this the alcohol and drugs come sweating out of my body when I was cutting trees, and uh, that was like my detox there. It was hard, but I think God gave me the strength to get through it. I know I could never do it again. But we got through it. Things I never got to do. I did with her swimming classes and soccer. We just did everything together, every single thing. I was her biggest cheerleader. She talks to me every night, calls me on the way home, and talks to me all the way home from work. And now she's taller than me, and she is just beautiful. I wanted something better for us. And so I had started taking psychology classes. My goal was to be an addiction counselor. I was able to go back to school and graduate. I used to do assessments for drug court, and I would go to the jail and do assessments for people. They wanted somebody that understood where they'd been. Like I've been in jail, I've been through withdrawal, I've been at the bottom, I've been beat up, I've been raped, I've been broke, I've been homeless. Anything's possible. It's never too late to change, it's never too late to go back to school. Like I didn't get sober till I was 48. I've been able to do some pretty pretty good things. In the 20 years I've been sober. I've helped a lot of people. I go in and see this young girl and I'm like, you look like my daughter, what are you doing here? And she's like, I was doing heroine and my boyfriend overdosed and died, and here I am. She's pulled it together and she's sober still. And that's been uh eleven years. But it's because people are addicts, doesn't mean they're bad people. Sometime you'd meet somebody and they're trying so hard, they'd be sober a whole year and then relapse and die. And one of my um clients I had for years had died. And she'd been dated for four days in her garage before somebody found her, and she was a beautiful girl. I met some of the best people. And I met some of the worst people. But I met a lot of good people and uh, like I said, we'll be friends forever.

Jim Russell 9:46

So why this effort? Why these stories? We're telling these stories, all different stories, with all different roads that that these folks are on to recovery, to help you know and understand that recovery is possible. Whether it's you, it's a family member, it's a friend, it's a coworker, it is possible for someone who's struggling with substance use disorder to get help. We want to encourage people to reach out and get the help that they need. If you or someone you know and love is struggling with substance use disorder, don't just sit back and watch it happen. Uh call us here at the Mental Health 708 board at 217-443-3500. We don't provide direct services in our office, but we can connect you with several different agencies in our community who do provide those services. Two points of emphasis: everybody's journey is different. No one's gonna look exactly alike. And then the second point is don't forget recovery is possible and things can get better. And there are people in this community, there are people in your family and friend circle who want to help you uh on your own personal road to recovery.