Chris's Story | Roads to Recovery

In this 8th episode of the "Roads to Recovery" podcast, host Jim Russell shares the compelling story of Chris, whose life was profoundly affected by substance use disorder and brushes with the law. Chris opens up about his difficult upbringing, early exposure to drugs and alcohol, and the absence of a father figure, all factors that contributed to his struggles. He describes his descent into substance use disorder, the chaotic years that followed, and the pivotal moment when court intervention and distance from his family motivated him to seek help.

Listeners will follow Chris’s journey from skepticism and reluctance at mandated support groups to genuine engagement with Celebrate Recovery, where the support of others and a renewed sense of purpose helped him reclaim his life. The episode features honest reflections on relapse, tough love from those closest to him, and the ongoing challenges of building a stable, sober life as a welder, partner, and father. Insights from group leaders and friends highlight the importance of community, personal motivation, and the reality that every recovery journey is unique.

Chris’s story is a testament to resilience, vulnerability, and that recovery is possible for anyone. This episode is a must-watch for anyone seeking inspiration, understanding, or encouragement on the path to healing.

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

Every year I feel like I'm doing better than I did the previous year, and I've never felt that way about anything in my life.

SPEAKER_02 0:08

This is a true story.

SPEAKER_03 0:09

My negative choices started really, really young.

SPEAKER_02 0:12

I didn't have any friends that were sober. I didn't wake up one day and say, hey, I think I'm gonna be a drug addict today.

SPEAKER_03 0:18

I didn't want to feel the pain I was feeling anymore. I admitted that I had to have it.

SPEAKER_02 0:23

I'm not in control. It's never enough. He's like, here, try this. I almost lost my life.

SPEAKER_03 0:28

That is my main motivator.

SPEAKER_02 0:31

I don't want to go through this nowhere. We do recover in Vermont County, but nobody can tell me any different.

Intro 0:37

Viewer discretion is advised. The content in this video addresses sensitive topics related to drugs and alcohol and may not be suitable for all audiences. This content is intended for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered as personal medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment recommendations. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional or a substance use disorder specialist for personalized guidance. The views and opinions expressed are those of the individuals presenting them and do not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of Vermilion County Public Health or the Vermilion County Mental Health 708 Board.

Jim Russell 1:12

Hi, this is Jim Russell, and we are continuing to tell stories of roads to recovery. Sometimes a person who is involved in substance use disorder uh gets involved in treatment uh because of contact with law enforcement and the courts. Some people don't respond very well to court ordered services of any kind, but for other people it can be a turning point in their lives. And that was a turning point for Chris. And here's his story.

SPEAKER_03 1:44

If I would have done things a little differently when I was younger, I'd probably be doing a lot better. I've got a thousand things, but my younger self wouldn't have listened to a single one of them. Don't start smoking meth. Don't put anything up your nose. Don't hang out with that person. Don't go out with this girl. This girl really sc is gonna screw your head up. Learn to play an instrument, learning how to weld at a younger age, learning carpentry, learn mechanics. That'd be a big one. Do it yourself. Learn how to do that crap yourself. My younger self would have been like, whatever, old man. I grew up pretty poor. I guess that'd be the best way to say it. It was just me and my mom. I have no idea who my dad is. I was raised basically an only child because my sister was out the house by the time I was even born. We were on section eight, my mom got disability. She was a thalidomide baby. I don't suggest looking it up. It's it's horrifying. Even though we were poor, she was pretty good with making do with what we had. I had an uncle that was one of those Rolling Stone types, and he was pretty much the only father figure I really had. He was an old Vietnam vet. He was like the coolest dude ever, you know, told me all kinds of crazy stories. He used to run with biker gangs out west, so he'd have all kinds of stories about biker gangs. He'd have all kinds of stories about stuff that happened to him in Vietnam. He had like multiple places, like multiple girlfriends in multiple states. Well, I wouldn't say he was cool because of the drinking. I guess you would say he was cool despite the drinking. Him and my mom would get into it. She got in trouble by Section 8 one one month because he came in like super drunk and fell into a wall and made a body-sized hole in the drywall. He almost caught our house on fire because he tried cooking ramen noodles on the stove using a styrofoam bowl sitting on the stove and turned it on. You see drunk people when you're a kid and you're just like, oh man, that's that's funny. You get older and you're like, that was in reality, that was kind of sad, really. We had a big old creek right in my neighborhood, and I'd spend a lot of time down there catching crawdads and snakes and stuff. During school, I got pretty good grades up until about like middle school. I really like to read a lot. I used to get awards in grade school because of it. Like it's starting into my teen years when I started to get wild. I think if I had more of a father figure type, that would have helped a little bit. I went to church every Sunday, some Wednesdays, even some certain Saturdays. My mom would be like, you know, you gotta go, otherwise, grandma's gonna get mad. You got the pews and the hymnal books, and the only uh music is my grandma playing a big pipe organ. I never really understood anything that was being told to me, and I just kind of let all that go and was like, I'd rather just sit at home and get high. I don't want to get up early on a Sunday, that's stupid. First time I ever smoked weed was with this uh this girl. I was like 13 or 14, and she was like 17 or 18, or maybe even night. I don't know. Just imagine like a punk rocker chick. The spike hair, you know, the spike bracelets, you know, listen to like bad religion, and I'd go over to her house and we'd sit and smoke weed and chill, and I had the hugest crush on her. I never did anything with the girl. We just hung out and smoked weed, and I tried to impress her. The first time I ever actually drank drink was when I was like 15. That was with my crackhead aunt and uncle, and yeah, they gave me some brandy, ended up throwing up and was like, I'm never drinking again, I'm never drinking again. I moved out and at like 15 or 16, I lived with my friend in a trailer, and my friend's parents were uh long-haul truckers, and they worked 28 days and got two days off. We had a house to ourselves for a month at a time. We could party whenever we wanted, and we'd be like, hey, you can come over and party. This guy brings some kind of drug with you. I don't care what it is. We'd end up with like 20 people or so with like eight or nine different kinds of drugs in the house. You didn't know what you were grabbing. It was like, I'll try one of these. We'd have a whole day where we'd just clean the entire trailer and make it look just like it did before his parents left and they'd come home and be like, Oh, it looks nice in here, guys. Then they'd leave again and they'd be back to partying. I would find creative ways to sneak alcohol into school and just sip on it during class. There were days where I'd miss school because I was too messed up from the night before and couldn't even wake up to, you know, get dressed, and I'd just sleep through my alarm and not even go to school that day. I ended up getting kicked out of school. As soon as I'd turned 17, I got my GED, and then got introduced to the factory crowd, and that was a whole nother can of worms, man. It's like I'm just here for the ride. It started out with coke, I ended up turning it into meth, and that was the beginning of almost screwing up my entire life. There was a point there for a while where uh inarguably I was using it just to function. It started out with cocaine. I probably looked a mess and probably acted like a psychopath, but you know, one of them. But I got a lot of work done. I'd get high on meth and you know, bust out an 8 to 12 hour shift, and I'd get home, smoke some pot, go to bed. For a lot of people, myself included, once you get to that point, it's a little late. I guess I'm in it for the ride now. The only person I could think of off the top of my head that ever checked me about my drug use was one of my drug dealers. If I went to him too many times in a row, he'd go, this ain't all for you, is it, man? I'd be like, Yeah, he's like, bro, you need to go take a nap, go sleep for a day, and then come back, then we can talk. The only relationship I'd have to say that it really affected was the one I'm in now. We're not married, but I'm gonna say wife. She ended up getting pregnant. For some reason, she put up with it from me for a good while. She finally was like, I can't do this anymore. I love you, but you're you're just you're screwing yourself up, you're screwing your life up. I'll never keep you from seeing your son. But don't come around here when you've been getting high, and don't be bringing none of your uh dope hose around. Those are exact words. So she left. She was gone. I was selling dope to keep myself high. Didn't care about anything else. I let the power go out of the house I was staying in, had no water in the house. I was down bad. It was like that for almost a year. I'd use her vehicle and I'd been up for like eight days. I'd put the car in park and turned it off. I was like, I'm just gonna take a little cat nap in the car real quick. And next thing I know, I got cops knocking on the window on this side and paramedics knocking on the window on this side. And I look down on my hand and I'm holding the meth pipe in my hand. Cops looking right at it, and I'm like, oh crap. They took me to jail and I just stayed in there for like three weeks. Not having the freedom to be able to see my son and not being able to be around my wife. That tore me apart inside. Like, I don't want to ever have to feel anything close to what I felt when I was in jail. That is my main motivator. My probation officer had suggested that I go to a uh support group, and she was like, You can try celebrate recovery. Told me about it. I'm like, that's a Jesus one, man. I don't want to know. I don't even believe in God. I don't even believe in that crap. She was like, Well, you gotta do something. You need a certain amount of hours.

SPEAKER_02 10:24

You have a lot of guys that are forced to come to celebrate recovery, and that's why they come. And then once they get their time in, they don't ever come back. I'm just gonna speak truth. You can't make anybody do anything. It's something that they have to want. Some guys will come in here uh that are looking for recovery and they just they cheat themselves. They're not really here. When he first started coming to celebrate recovery and he'd come up to their groups, I mean he was very quiet. Didn't really want to talk, didn't really want to share. I was kind of skeptical. He didn't want to be here. He was one of those men that I knew had to be here because his life was going, you know, downhill.

SPEAKER_03 11:11

I'm Chris. I struggle with uh drug addiction, depression, anxiety. I gross. I cress up, guys.

SPEAKER_02 11:18

Once he realized that there was people that he can trust, he started to open up a little bit, a little bit more, a little bit more.

SPEAKER_03 11:24

I went from not even wanting to be here, not even caring about God or any of that, to now I'm in the middle of a step study and I get to lead group whenever, you know, the other group leaders aren't available. So in Silver at Recovery, the guideline is that you have five minutes to share. No, just been uh hanging out with the kids and you know when I'm not working, trying to get as much outdoor time as possible.

SPEAKER_02 11:49

I can remember the days when he used to come in and he wouldn't say anything, and now he just tells you, yeah, I really don't have a lot to say, but you always gotta shut him down. Hey man, it's your five minutes is up. He's an encouragement. I mean, it it's huge. His his life impacts a lot of people.

SPEAKER_03 12:06

Now that I've been clean, I got all these people that are coming back and say, you know, going, dude, good job, man. Like, keep it up, don't screw it up, you know. And those are my tough love friends who are like, You're doing good, man. Do not mess this up. Philippians 4 13 says, We can do all things through Christ.

SPEAKER_02 12:24

He gives us strength. And I think Chris is really seeing that now.

SPEAKER_03 12:30

My wife, to her credit, she did a lot of research on addiction and chemical dependency, and that's probably part of the reason why she was so patient with me. All the screw-ups I'm doing, all the relapses, that's all part of the process. But there have you have to give them an ultimatum eventually, and that's what she did. Every once in a while, she'll make sure to be like, baby, you know you're doing really good, right? Or if I'm having a bad day, like I'm just feeling depressed or anxiety ridden, she'll be like, baby, we have been in way worse shape than this. And I'm like, Yeah, you're right. I like what I do. I'm a welder. I really love being able to do things with my kids on the weekends. I got a good little friend network. Somebody is a phone call away. Back when I was using, I never would have thought I would enjoy life sober.

Jim Russell 13:32

So, why this effort? Why these stories? We're telling these stories, all different stories, with all different roads that these folks are on to recovery to help you know and understand that recovery is possible. Whether it's you, it's a family member, it's a friend, it's a coworker, it is possible for someone who's struggling with substance use disorder to get help. We want to encourage people to reach out and get the help that they need. If you or someone you know and love is struggling with substance use disorder, don't just sit back and watch it happen. Call us here at the Mental Health 708 board at 217-443-3500. We don't provide direct services in our office, but we can connect you with several different agencies in our community who do provide those services. Two points of emphasis: everybody's journey is different. No one's gonna look exactly alike. And then the second point is don't forget recovery is possible and things can get better. And there are people in this community, there are people in your family and friends circle who want to help you uh on your own personal road to recovery.