SPEAKER_02 0:00

Thank you for listening to DrawNear with Fred and Kara.

SPEAKER_00 0:02

DrawNear is brought to you locally by Cybercloak.tech, providing confidence and cybersecurity for small businesses. Learn more by contacting Cybercloak.tech's CTO and founder, Steve Gretkin, at 712-220-3001.

SPEAKER_02 0:30

I have a very special guest. My last guest was also very special. The last episode was a date with my husband, BJ. Tonight I get a date with my dad. It's been a long time since I've had a date with my dad.

SPEAKER_03 0:45

Yep, it has.

SPEAKER_02 0:46

Yeah. So do you want to introduce yourself a little bit, Dan?

SPEAKER_03 0:49

Yeah, I sure can. I'm Kara's dad, as she said. Uh my name is John. Been married. They'll be going on, I better get this right, um, 37 years this June to my lovely wife, Kelly, Kara's mom. And we live uh live in Iowa, raise Kara and her siblings. Kara's the middle child of five kids. So uh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:16

Do I demonstrate middle child characteristics?

SPEAKER_03 1:20

Well, i I'm a middle middle child as well, so I don't know. We we probably both do.

SPEAKER_02 1:25

I know.

SPEAKER_03 1:26

I know.

SPEAKER_02 1:26

I don't even know what those are. Like I don't I feel like people always are like, the middle child was the forgotten one. I'm like, I don't feel like I was forgotten. I definitely feel like I was the like a mediator, like trying to keep the peace.

SPEAKER_03 1:40

Oh yeah, yeah, no doubt. No doubt. There's you know, everybody plays that role at times. Yeah. I don't I don't know if I felt like I was that role when I was growing up, but uh uh No, you were the troublemaker. I probably was. Yeah, I was the party animal, but uh yeah. Yeah, right. But yeah, I'm one of uh I'm the middle child of three three boys. Um as it said, uh uh my mom always wanted girls. She got three girls when us three boys got married.

SPEAKER_02 2:11

Oh, that's nice. The family grew by three.

SPEAKER_03 2:14

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 2:15

Well, I wanted to have my dad on. I know um Fred had a series where he was able to talk about fatherhood, and he had a few guests on about fatherhood, and I can link those in the show notes if anyone is interested in those. But I wanted to have my dad on and talk about fatherhood, but also talk about it in the eyes of faith. And um, I thought it was would be really neat to like get to talk to my dad about being a dad, um, especially now that I'm a mom and I get to see BJ be a dad. So we'll kind of mix this in, like it'll be uh serious, but also hopefully there's some like fun stories. And I have I have dad jokes. Is that lame? I am not the dad, but I have dad jokes because I think it'd be fun to like make my dad laugh at my dad jokes.

SPEAKER_03 3:05

I'm looking forward to it, Gira.

SPEAKER_02 3:07

Okay, cool. All right, so um I'll just sprinkle those throughout, you know. Um, all right, I kind of want to start then. Um, you know, we we lost grandpa, your dad, um almost two years, right?

SPEAKER_03 3:23

Yeah, it was in 2023, October of uh the year 2023.

SPEAKER_02 3:28

Okay, so a little over two years now. Um and I kind of want to like start just by honoring his memory, and like he obviously had a a big part to play in you and how you um were raised and then like what that led into your fatherhood. So my first question is what did you learn about God from your own father?

SPEAKER_03 3:52

My dad and mom were were um two individuals that really shared their faith with me at growing up. Um and as far as my dad goes, my dad was was one who w wanted to share everything he could regarding the Catholic faith with me and my two brothers. And we would go to stations of the cross in Easter, you know. That's kind of something that not everybody does. Um but uh he would take us the whole family to Stations of the Cross. Um and I remember he and mom had uh boy, I'm trying to remember the statue, it was a statue of Mary that was a traveling statue um that came to my hometown of Dubuque, and they had that statue in in their home and they invited a lot of different parishioners from the church we went to to come and uh basically um say the rosary um in adoration.

SPEAKER_02 4:55

I remember grandpa had a pretty deep devotion to the rosary. I remember anytime we would visit and we would go to mass, we would always go that half hour early, and I would always get to see him like praying the rosary.

SPEAKER_03 5:08

Yeah, you you know, w what was kind of unique. My my father passed away at the age of 92 in the last twelve years, he was in a care center. And he was, you know, with each passing year, um he had dementia, and you know, he would um you know, we'd have to come in towards the latter part of his, you know, about the last five years of his life and reintroduce ourselves. You know, we um you know, we we knew he was there, but at the same time, you know, we just felt that need. But what was kind of really unique, really neat was at the care center they had um a small chapel. We would take dad there, we being my brothers, my wife, uh my my sister-in-law, and and we'd take dad there and walk down there, and he really wasn't audible, he wouldn't really say much, if anything. And we would start saying um the Lord's Prayer, and my dad would pipe right in. Yeah. He would say it right with us. I remember that.

SPEAKER_02 6:09

I remember visiting him, and we prayed. Um w it was me, BJ, and the kids, and we prayed, um, and this was like very soon, like close to his passing. So it was right at the end there, and we prayed uh I think a decade, and we ended with a Saint Michael, and he said the entire Saint Michael.

SPEAKER_03 6:32

Yeah, it it wasn't that neat. Yeah, it was so cool. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it it put a big smile on my face. Uh and uh, you know, we always knew oh you know, uh that even though dad wasn't verbal, dad, you know, lost some of his abilities. We knew he was there, so we would talk to him as if he was there. Yeah. And uh you know, with him saying the Lord's prayer and and just you know, we you know, we knew he was there.

SPEAKER_02 7:00

Yeah. So he instilled that like devotional side, that prayer side with Mass, the Eucharistations, the rosary. I feel like just from an outside perspective, because I got to see uh you be his son, especially in like those hard years, I think what I saw was just him teaching you without verbally teaching you, uh just loving service to your parent.

SPEAKER_03 7:27

Yeah, exactly. I mean, we saw you know, his faith come out through his actions, through what he did throughout you know, it and my father started his career as a teacher. Yeah, well, he was a teacher his whole career, but when he he started, he started at a Catholic high school and he actually taught shop class. Mm-hmm. And one of the first things he made out he made it out of metal was a a statue of Mary. Oh, that's cool. And for the longest yeah, for the longest time it was on a wall in one of the convents in in the town I grew up in.

SPEAKER_02 8:02

That's awesome.

SPEAKER_03 8:03

And uh some someday I'd like to really find it again. Maybe it exists. You know, anyway, that's kind of a stretch, but we'll see if it ever happens.

SPEAKER_02 8:11

Yeah, I love that. So Grandpa was able to kind of introduce you to um obviously the faith that's one of your first formators. So in that, I know um like your own faith life has grown and changed. Can you speak into that a little bit? How has your own faith changed throughout your life and even your fatherhood?

SPEAKER_03 8:34

Well, as raising children, you know, in the younger years and your younger years, Kara. Yeah. Um, our goal was really to make sure everybody, make sure the family went to Sunday Mass. Um, and slept in. Exactly. Even though we we drug you screaming and kicking sometimes. Yeah. But we always did uh we did coax you with donuts afterwards if you were good.

SPEAKER_02 9:00

Yeah, and you punished us with fo getting grounded with from our phones.

SPEAKER_03 9:04

Yeah. If you didn't come along. Yeah, so so you remember that. I do remember that, yeah. But uh as a mom, I you know, and I hope you know it's part it's part of growing up, as you know. Yeah. But uh we sent, you know, you and your siblings to uh different retreats, um Stubinville retreat being one of them. And I think you you all gained, you know, a fair amount rel related to your faith from those retreats. Yeah. And uh and uh you know, as far as my faith goes, you know, as as I grow older and kids are out of the house, our youngest of five is twenty-seven. So mom and I, um, you know, we have grown closer in our faith together. We have this little book that we read that it's a scripture book uh based on each day of Lent. Um and it allows us to connect to each other through God, through Lent. And so I I enjoy those those days or those times that we read that book. Yeah. And it's a one way for us to to stay closer as a couple um with God's help. Yeah. Um I'm also I'm also a knights of Columbus. I'm a fourth degree knight, so I I uh enjoy that and and and the camaraderie that that brings and and helping the parish through those actions.

SPEAKER_02 10:30

Do you know what I remember? I remember in college, I came home to visit, and you you brought me into the bathroom. We have the shelf in the bathroom, you know, for the longer trips for the for the readings in the bathroom. And you brought me into the bathroom. And you go, you go, Kara, I have to show you this book that I'm reading. And apparently, apparently reading the bathroom. But it was a Matthew Kelly, and you were so, I think it was rediscovering Catholicism, and you were so excited about it. And I what I love is that over the course of however many years it's been since college, I don't remember math, like 15 years, over the course of 15 years, that shelf has transformed from Matthew Kelly, which is rediscovering the faith, to now like Rome's sweet home, Saint Therese of Lesou Reflections. It's just like it's gotten so much deeper. And that's what the purpose of those books are. It's like, you know, reintroducing you so that you have this desire to go deeper. So I love coming home and seeing like the new level of books on the shelf.

SPEAKER_03 11:35

The new library in the bathroom. Yeah, the new bathroom library. Uh and to that effect too, that's usually how I end my day as well, not in the bathroom necessarily. But uh, but uh I have books as well on my side table in the bedroom and and uh I like to read uh you know maybe a chapter or two of some of the my my faith books that uh that help me with my faith, help me stay strong.

SPEAKER_02 12:03

Do you have any just thinking about not even necessarily like faith in fatherhood, but just in general, do you have any uh regrets? And how do you handle that?

SPEAKER_03 12:16

Oh, um you know, I always I always look, could I have done more, you know, when it comes to the my to the faith and teaching my kids? Um, you know, you you you you send them to catechism, um Wednesday night catechisms um C C D is what we used to call it when I was a kid as well. And you know, the thought was could we have done more? You know, you you know, and then we sent you to re retreats, sent you to Stubenville. You know, part of me is like, what more could we have done? You know, maybe maybe more prayer to help that than the ask for the Holy Spirit, ask for God to to guide you through your your growing up years and keep you closer to, you know, to him, to God. Um maybe we should have prayed a little bit more and and brought you to I don't know. I think we might have been to stations of cross once or twice, but we didn't do that like like my father did with uh us kids. You know, maybe there was something more could have done.

SPEAKER_02 13:13

You know what though? I think sometimes too, it's I'm reading I'm reading the book Interior Freedom right now, and I literally just read today the page that talks about um God's grace is in the present moment. And so often we want to think like, well, what about this situation? What it what could I have done in this situation? And God wants to give grace in every day we get to restart and re-pursue him. So, like, I don't know. I mean, I posed the question, but even like as I as I posed the question, I was thinking to myself, what good is regret? Like, God is gonna use in every single one of our lives as as your kids, like he's gonna use the situations to bring about good. Yes, we have free will to like let him um or be disposed to it, but he's like he's still pursuing all of your kids.

SPEAKER_03 14:07

And that's a good good way to look at it, uh you know, keeping that that positive outlook. Um and and we all we all need to continue to grow. I always talk about my faith as a as a lifetime journey um where where I grow, you know, you know, as much as possible, whether it's through reading those books or I go to a uh every other week I go to a uh a men's scripture um we call it brew and brotherhood. And brew isn't you know isn't beer, it's it's it's it's coffee. It it's coffee because it's at six in the morning. It's about to it's five, it's probably gonna be five o'clock somewhere. But it's a group of us, it's a group about uh oh about six to eight of us guys that uh we usually have our deacon um and our priest with us as well. Nice um that help help guide us and direct us, give us some spiritual guidance. And you know, there's some of the guys are a little more, you know, versed at uh at at their faith, and it shows and some of us are saying, you know, kind of after the fact or sometime during conversation, say, you know, with a little hesitation we we try to explain our feelings regarding a a certain scripture reading and not knowing if we're 100% right, is that really what it's meant? You know, but it's part of that lifetime journey of of of the faith.

SPEAKER_02 15:33

Yeah, that's awesome. Okay, I have a question for you.

SPEAKER_03 15:38

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 15:38

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

SPEAKER_03 15:43

Um a walleye. Oh oh oh oh run that by me again.

SPEAKER_01 15:52

Okay. What do you call a fish with no eyes?

SPEAKER_03 15:56

What do you call it? Oh, oh, I see. The spelling, okay. Okay, all righty, that makes sense. That was a bad one. I thought that was funnier than you did. I'm not even sure if as a dad joke, if uh and and I'm a dad. Get out of here. All right, all right. Next one. Next one. I like it though. I like it though.

SPEAKER_02 16:20

Thanks. Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?

SPEAKER_03 16:27

I don't know. Why can't you?

SPEAKER_02 16:28

The P is silent.

SPEAKER_01 16:32

I got my spelling jokes. You're terrible at spelling. You don't even probably know that pterodactyl starts with a P.

SPEAKER_03 16:38

Well, I'd figure it out eventually. But thanks for the I do now.

SPEAKER_01 16:42

Vote of confidence in you, Dad. Vote of confidence. Okay, one more, one more, one more, then we'll get serious. Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road?

SPEAKER_03 16:51

Hmm. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 16:53

It got stuck in a crack.

SPEAKER_03 16:57

So are you wearing all these? Of course. Of course. Okay. Alrighty. That was a good one. I like that one.

SPEAKER_01 17:08

Yeah, you're I'll always get you with bathroom humor.

SPEAKER_03 17:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:15

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 17:15

That's cute.

SPEAKER_01 17:16

Okay, we'll dive back in, sorry.

SPEAKER_02 17:19

Um I like it. What do you hope your kids will remember about you?

SPEAKER_03 17:25

That I loved every one of them dearly. And I cherished cherished the days, all the days. The growing up days. You know, the the days when I'm changing a diaper on one of 'em. Um the days where, you know, somebody's you know spitting up on a on a burp rag. Yeah. The days where we're holding hands, walking down the street. Um really just you know, when they when they come and ask me for help, you know. Um knowing that I appreciated them asking me for help because it I one always wants to feel wanted. Yeah. You know, you guys grow up and leave the house. You always you still want to feel wanted. I know you're I it's beautiful that you and your siblings are you know doing what all the things you're doing. It's just awesome. It makes your mom and I just smile from ear to ear. Um but uh just knowing you guys always knowing that I I love you dearly.

SPEAKER_02 18:29

Yeah. We definitely do. Kind of going off of like making you laugh or trying to make you laugh. When did you laugh the hardest as a dad?

SPEAKER_03 18:41

Um I you know when we're all around the kitchen table and we're we're we're you know, whether it's a holiday nowadays or when you were a little bit older typically. Yeah. Um it just just hearing and hearing about about your days. Um somebody telling a joke, or as you know, some some of our conversations at the kitchen table kind of start at one end and and end at the other end.

SPEAKER_01 19:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 19:10

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you know, it it brings a smile to my face and and uh and laughter. The whole table just starts laughing. Yeah, it it makes me laugh harder the more I see other people smile and laugh too.

SPEAKER_02 19:23

Yeah. I always loved when we would go camping and then we would like sit outside or on the campfire and make um those metal closed pizza pockets and oh yeah.

SPEAKER_03 19:36

Yeah, just those are good memories.

SPEAKER_02 19:38

Just all hang out. Yeah, I loved those.

unknown 19:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 19:41

Do you remember the vault toilet?

SPEAKER_02 19:43

I do remember the vault toilet story, yes.

SPEAKER_03 19:47

Are you able to go into a vault toilet to these days?

SPEAKER_02 19:50

I never was. Even before the story. Never was.

SPEAKER_03 19:55

Even before the story.

SPEAKER_02 19:56

Yeah, even before the story. For context. Uh we went on a family vacation to the Black Hills and we had a camper, and we would every night, like on the way there, um, we would stop at a or whatever campsite, and we would have a campfire. And my did mom like print out the story like she found it.

SPEAKER_03 20:19

Yeah, she she went online and printed out a bunch of ghost stories, a bunch of scary campfire stories.

SPEAKER_02 20:25

Yeah, and one of them was about the vault toilet monster, because one of the campground we were at only had vault toilets. If you don't know what a vault toilet is, it's literally like concrete from the ground, then formed into a tube that you sit on.

SPEAKER_01 20:41

Like it's a concrete tube with a hole in it that goes into this giant vault in the ground. So it's basically a porter putty, but without the portability.

SPEAKER_03 20:52

It's a septic tank with a couple of places to sit on top of it.

SPEAKER_01 20:56

It's nasty, it's what it is.

SPEAKER_03 20:58

It's nasty. But yeah, that's that story she read. Uh um and it was basically uh ends up being the scary vault uh monster coming out of the vault toilet. And if you remember Kara, do you remember around that campfire? Um it was dark. It was the there was a lot of campers that were already dark, and and there was a tent alongside of us of another another family camping. Oh, they probably hear it. Oh, I know. And and Kara's brother, Matt, an older brother, when when mom got to a certain point on the story or in the story, he he yelled or screamed. He screamed, he screamed really loud, you know, as if the belt monster toilet or toilet monster got him.

SPEAKER_02 21:44

He like got up to go to the bathroom, which was not unusual for Matt.

SPEAKER_01 21:48

And he was like like pretended to hide in the woods and then like screech.

SPEAKER_03 21:54

Yeah. But but I looked around and the campers are that were dark, all their lights came on on all of a sudden. And and the in the tent next to us, somebody's flashlight came on. I think they all thought, you know, thought the world was coming to an end or something. Oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_01 22:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:08

Those are good memories. Some good memories. Those are good memories for sure.

SPEAKER_03 22:12

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:13

Okay, I'm gonna tell another joke.

SPEAKER_03 22:15

All right, lighten it up.

SPEAKER_02 22:16

Okay. What do you call a person with no body and no nose?

SPEAKER_03 22:22

Hmm. I don't know. What do you call them?

SPEAKER_02 22:25

Nobody knows.

SPEAKER_03 22:28

Nobody knows. I like that. That was that's a good one. Thanks. Nobody, no nose. Nobody knows.

SPEAKER_02 22:37

Nobody knows. Okay. Um why can't you trust stairs?

SPEAKER_03 22:44

Because they'll let you down.

SPEAKER_02 22:45

Oh, that's a good one. No, I was gonna say they're always up to something.

SPEAKER_03 22:50

Oh, they're always up to something. Hey, either way. Same idea. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:54

Yeah, same idea. One's pessimistic, one's optimistic.

SPEAKER_03 23:00

There you go. Yeah, that's kind of true there.

SPEAKER_01 23:02

That's funny.

SPEAKER_02 23:03

Um, okay. Why do dads take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?

SPEAKER_03 23:12

Why do dads and and how did you know I take an extra pair of socks, by the way? Do you actually? I I typically do because I I'm afraid that my you know my feet, you know, when I go into the clubhouse, my feet might, you know, after 9 18 holes, might sneak.

SPEAKER_01 23:30

That's funny.

SPEAKER_03 23:31

That's not the answer. That's not the answer. Repeat the repeat the question.

SPEAKER_02 23:36

Why do dads take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?

SPEAKER_03 23:40

I don't know. Why do dads take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?

SPEAKER_02 23:44

In case they get a hole in one.

SPEAKER_03 23:49

I like that one too, Kara. That one's good. You good you you got a hole of some good ones.

SPEAKER_01 23:53

I kept the better ones for later, I guess.

SPEAKER_03 23:57

Okay. Um I like that crack one though earlier.

SPEAKER_02 24:01

Yeah, that was a good one. Um, let's see. What was the hardest season of fatherhood? There are so many, like, you know, the young stage, the teenage stage, as we all leave, you know.

SPEAKER_03 24:17

Right, yeah. Um I mean, you know, you look back, or I look back and try to think of the hardest stage. You know, each each stage has its own challenges. Yeah. You know, whether it's, you know, young young mouths to feed and trying to make sure there's enough enough money coming in and enough food and and you know, bills still getting paid, all that kind of stuff. Yeah. You know, so that's always a balance there. And I can think there's a lot of families that can resonate what I'm what I'm talking about. Yeah. Um, so you know, those were some of the challenges in those those days. Um and we always you know, Kelly, mom, your mom, always says, says, God will provide. You know, when when I was would I'd be the one worrying about uh a certain bill, you know, when we you guys were younger, and and mom was always the uh optimist. And she would, you know, we'll be okay, we'll be okay. And and we were okay. We were always okay. Yeah. Always okay. But uh, you know, challenges as I got older, again, you guys leaving, um, introducing a new phase in mom and my life. Um where uh, you know, but we enjoy it, you know, we enjoy it. Um just you know, the new things, the challenges. Um, the four grandkids are a joy. Um we have uh what do we have now? We have grand dogs and grandcats too. I don't count those.

SPEAKER_02 25:46

I gave you actual grandchildren.

SPEAKER_03 25:48

Yeah, I I know you did. They're they're they're a blessing, but uh but you know, we we do enjoy I know yeah. We just got done visiting our grandcats down in Alabama.

SPEAKER_02 26:01

So anyway, yeah Yeah, that's so nice. So, okay, that was there were like hard seasons. What was your favorite season of fatherhood?

SPEAKER_03 26:11

You know, I look back and and you know, we still live in the house, um, your mom and I. Uh we still live in the house that we raise you guys in. And you know, I think of the the days when you guys were younger, when you were, you know, anywhere from two, three, four, five years old. Those are years that slip by so fast. You know, I'll look in I'll look in certain I'll walk through certain parts of the house, you know, especially the upstairs in the hallway and the bedrooms, and remember telling you guys stories and you know, asking you what sound does a chicken make, and hear you say what that sound is, and and you know, I'm sure you don't remember those those kind of things, but you know, I remember those. Yeah. And they bring a big spile on my face and telling, you know, the the stories and making up some of the stories that end with Barney, you know, they start real scary, end with Barney. Yeah. Um just so you guys didn't go to bed. Didn't go to bed being scared. Yeah. So and and we'd I'd tell those similar stories in the camper in the back of the camper.

SPEAKER_02 27:16

With all your like noises creak, you're like, and the door creaked.

SPEAKER_03 27:21

Yeah. So I enjoyed telling those little stories. I wasn't good at them. I didn't claim to be you really were, but we all loved it. Yeah. Yeah. So but but those those are, I guess, the happy happy moment. Um, not to say that other moments aren't happy as well. Seeing you guys succeed at the different things you did and and uh, you know, but got you guys and your sports you went out with and and your you know scouting. And as a parent, you have to be involved. You really want it's the best to be involved in what your kids are doing.

SPEAKER_02 27:56

Yeah. If you could describe not like uh all of your kids' individual dynamics, but like us as a group of five, what would our dynamic be?

SPEAKER_03 28:09

You're all very different. There's five different personalities.

SPEAKER_02 28:14

So how are we together? Like what's our together dynamic?

SPEAKER_03 28:18

Oh, you guys you guys are very voisterous.

SPEAKER_01 28:23

Very I was literally gonna say loud. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 28:26

Loud. I'm making that sound nice. Voisterous is better than loud, and you know you you are you are and and I enjoy that. I think I've said this before, and mom has said it as well, that that you know, we are in the same house we raised you guys in. We love it when you guys are all home and the house is loud. We just love it, it brings a smile to our face, you know, and we just love that, you know, the laughter. Um, you know, it it uh as you know your sister Jen has a is a distinct laugh. Yeah, and you can, you know, and you all do in your own right. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 29:03

It's like we each have varying decibels of the exact same laugh.

SPEAKER_03 29:07

I think that's probably very true. Yeah. So that's funny.

SPEAKER_02 29:13

Yeah, I I remember growing up, like I mean, looking back, it's like, okay, we probably fought all the time, but looking back, that's never what I remember. That's never what I saw. It was like we would fight, and then 10 minutes later, it's like, let's go to a movie. Or, you know, who wants to go play outside? You know.

SPEAKER_03 29:37

Well, that that yeah, that that's that's good to hear. You know, I I don't remember those fights either. If they're, you know, I'd like to say there weren't that many. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 29:46

But uh um they were they were always when we were home alone and we would like, don't tell mom, don't tell like yeah, oops, I broke skin with my nails.

SPEAKER_01 29:56

Don't tell mom.

SPEAKER_03 29:58

I see. That's why I never saw them.

SPEAKER_02 30:04

Yeah, but honestly, like I I mean I can joke about it now because like we're not the same people. Um, obviously, I'm not like encouraging discord in the midst of siblings. I have four kids now and I tell them all the time, like, your siblings are gonna be your best friends. You should treat each other well when they're having fights. So I'm not necessarily encouraging that, but I think it just like I don't know, we j it was just like quick to forgive. That's the dynamic I remember. So quick to forgive, and we would be there in a heartbeat for any of like any of each other, you know.

SPEAKER_03 30:38

Yeah, yeah. That's beautiful.

SPEAKER_02 30:40

Yeah. All right, why did the scarecrow win an award?

SPEAKER_03 30:46

Why'd the scarecrow win an award? I don't know why.

SPEAKER_02 30:51

Because he was outstanding in his field.

SPEAKER_03 30:57

You got some good ones. Isn't that a good one? Yeah. I like that one.

SPEAKER_01 31:02

Good.

SPEAKER_03 31:02

I like that. You're gonna have to give me your source.

SPEAKER_01 31:06

Okay, let me see if I have any other one.

SPEAKER_03 31:09

Before you before you go into the next one, yeah. You know, you had mentioned uh, you know, with your siblings. Yeah. What your mom and I, um, you guys have a a what do you have? An Instagram? You guys have a shared platform that you talk on.

SPEAKER_02 31:24

Well, we used to um have like we used to use Snapchat, and then I ended up getting rid of it, and they told me that they don't use it anymore. But we we do have a um shared group chat just in like text messages.

SPEAKER_03 31:39

Text messages now, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's neat that you guys find a way to just to stay in touch with with each other, even though there's miles between you. Yeah. Um some more than others.

SPEAKER_02 31:51

Usually it'll start with me sharing a picture of the kids and then it ends up being like a full day conversation of what's going on with everybody. So it's it's nice.

SPEAKER_03 32:01

We think that's cool. Yeah. So do you have another joke for me? Or I do.

SPEAKER_02 32:05

I do. All right. What do you call fake spaghetti?

SPEAKER_03 32:11

What do you call fake spaghetti? You're gonna have to give me a few seconds to think about this one.

SPEAKER_02 32:17

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 32:20

I don't have an answer. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 32:24

An imposta.

SPEAKER_03 32:28

An imposta. I like it. Get it, get it, okay. Uh I do get it. I do get it.

SPEAKER_02 32:37

Uh let's see. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space.

SPEAKER_03 32:51

I was going that direction. I almost got it.

SPEAKER_01 32:54

Oh, I'm so sorry. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 32:56

You're just too quick.

SPEAKER_01 32:57

So sorry. Do you believe me? I don't.

SPEAKER_02 33:01

I'll give it to you though. Okay. I'll give it to you. Um, okay, I have uh two final questions. Um, how has your understanding of God as our heavenly father impacted your journey as a father?

SPEAKER_03 33:22

Well, that that's pretty I mean, that's a pretty good question, pretty deep question. And I guess my first thought, and I think it's I guess true to nature is is you know, God is our heavenly father. We we need to make sure God is is walking with us. You know, as we fathers, you know, be the head of the household for the you know and you know, for our children for our spouse, for our wives. Um we just need to make sure that we are a good example. And if if we're taking that example from our Heavenly Father, you know, really how can you go wrong in not being a a good example to your family? So we need to be an example in prayer, we need to be an example in in our actions. Um so so I guess that's part of of you know having God um by your side is whether you're at church praising God and asking for his his help, um, or whether you're going through your daily, you know, your your days activities, having God alongside you um and showing showing that through your actions. Yeah. Um I'd like to think I'm getting better at that and maybe, you know, having some success. And I just always need to kind of look back and and make sure I'm I'm doing that as well.

SPEAKER_02 34:51

You started with we always need God to walk alongside us, and then I relate that to your fatherhood just growing up with you, obviously as my dad. Like that was always you wanted to walk alongside us, no matter what the joy, the like athletic activities, the frustration when we were down. So just knowing that like our heavenly father is always there, and I saw that influence in you just always wanting to be there. Um Yep.

SPEAKER_03 35:23

It's like you know, our Heavenly Father wants us to ask, and you will receive. You know, it's like me as the earthly father, ask. Yeah. And you know, you'll receive some kind of help, some kind of help from your father. Yeah. From your parents. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 35:40

But yeah. I also I just when I think of God as the Heavenly Father, I just always imagine like we're so much harder on ourselves. And you know, if I do something, it's like, oh, I messed up again, I fell again. It's like God is not like that. He's not sitting there being like, Oh, how dare you fall? It's he rejoices when we get back up and he showers us with forgiveness. That's what I saw, I feel like, in you too. Like there are parts of my um adolescence, I don't know, teenage years, which I'm like, man, let's pretend that never happened. You know what I mean? Um, but it like that's not something that you've one ever brought up or defined me by. You know what I mean? So it's like you don't you don't define your children by their mistakes, you forgive them and show mercy, just like God does to us.

SPEAKER_03 36:36

Yeah, I mean, who would I if my God won't show, you know, my God shows mercy. So who am I to not show mercy? Yeah. You know, if my God will show mercy. Yeah. Um you know, and and I know we're all human. Um, you know, you and your your siblings are are a part of me, a part of your mom. And uh, you know, that that love goes a long way.

SPEAKER_02 37:02

Yeah. Yeah. Okay, last question. Dad, when you stand before God someday, what do you hope he says to you?

SPEAKER_03 37:19

Um I hope he has a big smile. I hope he he says John, I like I like the life you led. I like I like how you you raised your kids, I like how you loved your wife. I loved how you loved the friends and family around you. And I loved how you asked me, your God, for help when you needed it. And come on into heaven. We'll we'll welcome you and show you that your family up here. But uh I really just you know I want want to know God uh that I will be smiling back when God's smiling.

SPEAKER_02 38:09

Yeah, you want to smile.

SPEAKER_03 38:12

Yeah. That's awesome. Smile says a lot all by itself.

SPEAKER_02 38:16

Yeah, especially just the loving one of a father. It's like, I'm proud of you, come here.

SPEAKER_03 38:21

Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah. So it's you know, it's it's hard not to be happy if someone these looks at you and smiles.

SPEAKER_02 38:31

Yeah. All right, before we go, do you have any dad jokes for me, father?

SPEAKER_03 38:36

You know, I'd have to go get my coffee cup, my which has a ton of them on it. You got a minute. Yeah, go get it. I I got as a gift a coffee cup that has dad jokes all over it. All right, let's hear them. I have a tendency not to memorize jokes, so I I I have to have to read them. Okay. Um, did you know that your mom and my our wedding was so beautiful that even the cake was in tears.

unknown 39:06

I don't get it.

SPEAKER_03 39:09

Yeah, the cakes cakes are built in tears, you know, layers.

SPEAKER_01 39:13

Oh. I was I was like, was it like I was like, was it out in the sun? It was just sweating or okay.

SPEAKER_03 39:22

All right. And and I'm I haven't read these ahead of time, so so bear with me. Okay. So what do you call a dog that can do magic tricks?

SPEAKER_02 39:36

I don't know. I want to say like Houdini something that has to do with that. I don't know. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_03 39:43

It's uh a labra cadabra.

SPEAKER_01 39:46

Ooh, I like that one.

SPEAKER_03 39:50

Here's another one. Okay. Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, do you know how to drive this thing? You know, like an army tank.

SPEAKER_01 40:05

I I got that one.

SPEAKER_03 40:07

Okay. I I just might I know you were laughing, so I figured you'd be like, Thanks. How much more time do you have?

SPEAKER_01 40:13

I love your like vote of confidence in me getting your jokes.

SPEAKER_03 40:16

Yeah. Uh see. Let me see if I got another one here for you. Okay. What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college?

SPEAKER_01 40:30

Bison.

SPEAKER_03 40:32

You got that one. Yeah. Bison.

SPEAKER_01 40:35

I knew that one.

SPEAKER_03 40:37

Oh, you knew it.

SPEAKER_01 40:38

I almost said that one to you.

SPEAKER_03 40:41

Oh, okay. So I thought I thought my uh coffee cup had o the only jokes on it. Yeah, super original. Oh, here's one. Inspecting mirrors is a job I could really see myself doing.

SPEAKER_01 41:00

That's really not very funny, is it?

SPEAKER_03 41:02

Even I didn't like it. Okay. Why did the pony need a glass of water?

SPEAKER_02 41:14

I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 41:16

He was a little horse. Okay. Come on, you gotta you gotta laugh. Come on.

SPEAKER_01 41:22

Oh no, I don't like that one.

SPEAKER_03 41:24

Oh, you didn't like that. All right. Boy, you're I'm a tough cookie, I know. You are. So alright. I don't know if I've got too many more. That's okay. You know, they all kind of go downhill from here. Oh no. One last one. We'll try. We'll we'll try this one. Okay. Two satellites decided to get married. The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible. Satellites, you know, the reception because satellites. No, I got it. I got it. All right, I'm gonna go put some coffee in this coffee cup. Okay. Make better use of it. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 42:04

Okay. Well, I appreciate your time, Dad. I feel like I don't know. I mean, I always get to have these conversations with you, and usually I ask you just whatever in the car, but it's nice to I don't know, sit down and specifically talk about fatherhood and especially your faith, and hopefully people, you know, found some grace in it. So I appreciate you being on the show.

SPEAKER_03 42:27

Well, I thank you for inviting me, Kira. Yeah. I love you very much.

SPEAKER_02 42:31

Love you too.

SPEAKER_00 42:36

Thank you once again for listening to Draw Near with Fred and Cara. DrawNear is brought to you locally by Cybercloak.tech, providing confidence and cybersecurity for small businesses. Learn more by contacting Cybercloak.tech's CTO and founder, Steve Gretkin, at 712 220 3001. We now return to regularly scheduled programming here on Siouxland Catholic Radio.