SPEAKER_01 0:14

Folks, we're gonna have a good one tonight. First of all, let me shout out to everyone. Make a public shout out to everyone who's liked the page, who has subscribed, who has shared it, inboxed it, put it in your friend, uh your group chat. Thank you. All platforms, uh, YouTube, Facebook, IG, and now TikTok. So I want to thank you. We want to thank you. Tonight, I'm by myself. It's just me and Marcus in here. We still gonna cut up. I want to tell you all about it. We're calling this episode tonight separated. Come on, Ivan. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We never turn our backs on each other. Oh, but no, but no, that's weird together. So uh I am a divorced dad. I'm a single dad for a week. Brittany is on a business work trip, and she's gonna be gone all week. It gets hard sometime. Yeah, Jesus. So, um, we needed to do this tonight because I needed something to do. This ain't just about y'all tonight. This is about me, okay. So, we're gonna talk about relationships. I wanna speak from a week-long single man. Marcus, I want to speak from the perspective of a seven, or five days, really four days and some change, but it feels like seven. We're gonna call it seven days. A seven-day divorce dad.

unknown 2:09

Seven-day adventures.

SPEAKER_01 2:10

I'm seven-day adventures tonight. And I've got some observations. I've got some uh some advocacy work to do tonight on this episode. So if you are married, if you're non-married, if you want to be married, if you don't want to be married, if you're widowed, if you're divorced, I think that there's something tonight that's going to be said that will benefit you, make you laugh. Because tonight I'm cutting up. I'm good cop and bad cop. There's nobody here to stop me. Who's gonna stop me? Marcus, if I get out of line, I need you to. But we're gonna edit it out. She's gone tonight. No, no edits tonight. I'm raw. This is Tuesday night, raw. So she left early Monday morning. She got up. And let me first start off by saying this. We always say this for every episode. We do not feel like we have all the answers. I need to give the framework for this conversation first because I want to give some observations that I've made in these last few days of being a single dad. Shout out to all of the single parents. Shout out to all of the singles that are watching this. I get it, okay? I was already an advocate, but even after this time away, you got my full support. If I had brushed my hair before I put this hat on, I'd take my hat off to you because it's off, okay? Y'all of the MVPs, yeah, y'all got you get all the praise. Praise looks good on you because I don't know how y'all do it. I don't let's talk about it. So I don't feel like we don't feel like Brittany and I don't feel like we have all of the answers, but I think that when we experience changes in life, when we learn new information, as we are evolving in our mistakes, our pitfalls, she was saying, that's true. Our pitfalls and our errors and the things that we um made mistakes concerning. I think that we should share those with you. I think that our relationship is in a place where as we're continuing to build it and we're continuing to evolve, evolve, and um stumble through the dark, I think that people benefit. We believe that people benefit from people sharing lessons that they've learned so that you could potentially avoid unnecessary trouble, unnecessary uh pitfalls in your relationship or and or in your life. So let's get into it tonight. First of all, I want to let you know if this is your first time tuning in to the podcast, this is season three. Now, why are we starting season three when I'm by myself? Ain't that about a blimp? Season three starts now. I'm gonna be the foundation tonight. So I think we're well over 50 episodes, and so if something that I say tonight resonates with you, if you haven't already subscribe, hit that like button, share this with somebody that this might um might pique their interest. We've been married. June was 19 years in the game. Before I get ready to tell you about this, this I'm about to get on my soapbox about this time away that she's that she's had. And I'm gonna tell you some stuff that I have observed and I'm like, I'm not cut out. But anyway, we've been married 19 years straight. What do you mean by straight? Well, besides that time, we got in our first major argument, and I went and slept down at the church for three days and three nights. I had had enough of the bullshit, and I packed my overnight bag, and I was sitting up at that church sleeping in my office at the time, like something's gotta change. I'm I'm not with the bull. Anyway, so other than those three days that I protested and left the house and told her, you deal with it um straight. 19 years, married 19 years, we've got two teenage children. Our oldest is McKenzie, our youngest is Jonathan, and I got some observations. It ain't even been a week yet, and I'm already like, we got a problem. So I see some pros, but I'm also seeing some disadvantages, disadvantages of being a single dad for a week. Are we ready to talk about it? Marcus, are we ready? I can't hear no. Number one, I told you when we did the episode about what happens in this house, stays in this house when we were in the kitchen. First of all, let me back up. This is the first time that we've been apart from each other for five days. Now, when they were doing the work, when they were doing the the travel, uh, the nursing travel contract, that was three days tops. Marcus's wife did a nurse contract with Brittany as well, and my other sister, and they did a traveling nurse contract, and it was three, three days, two nights tops. That was manageable. A week and she's on the east coast, so it's not like I can drive to see her. It's not a road trip, it's a couple of planes to get as far as she is. And your boy's out here doing bad. I'm just gonna I'm gonna tell you the truth. Your boy is down bad. Drop everything, come quick. Craig's in trouble. I'm doing bad tonight. Let me tell you why I'm doing bad. These are the cons. A nigga can't sleep. Man, I told y'all that episode where we did in the kitchen about what happens in this house. Stays and I do not, I'm not used to going to bed by myself. Shout out to all of the singles, especially you religious folk. Shout out to all of the singles who go to bed. Now, for those of you who enjoy your space, who enjoy, I that say religious folk, Lord. Those who enjoy your solitude, those of you, and there are many of you that watch this, those of you who who enjoy your, and I I I grew up predominantly alone, so I get it. There are some positives to this week away, but I'm not used to sleeping in an empty bed. I probably went to sleep about 1:30 last night, and that's not my flow. Man, I was I text Marcus like I had some ideas about the show. Like, hey, I got these ideas. I'm seeing Marcus, you probably was looking at your phone, like, what is this nigga? I can't sleep, can't sleep at night, and you wonder why maybe your wife is on a work trip for a week and it gets hard sometime. Literally, I'm not used to sleeping alone. So, one of the cons, one of the one of the downsides to me of this time away from her, is I need my medicine. I need something to help me sleep tonight. I'm not used to sleeping in no cold bed with some clothes that need to be folded up on the other side. I'm used to sleeping next to some thighs and some tail and a warm touch. Come on, so I have no help in here tonight. Where's my life? I'm used to sleeping next to some thighs. Ask me again, and I'll tell you this. I don't do well. Now, listen, we've been married 19 years. My nervous system for five praises is wired to sleep next to my wife. I believe our heartbeat has synchronized. This is grown folks talk. Now, for those of you who don't like who you're married to, just cut this out. This ain't for you. But for those of you who like who you're with, that's your person. You understand what I mean. Now, I used to really like make fun of her, like, man, you kind of clean, like you doing too much, but like it's me too. I got to have my woman. I've been nowhere to preach. I've been nowhere for vacation. I have, I don't think we've even been on a guy's trip yet. With I I have not traveled in double digit years without my wife with me. And she would say the same. She was in the airport, like, who's gonna who's gonna carry my bags? Like, who's gonna? So, like 19 years, 15 years of traveling together, and this is the first time that we've been this far this long. I'm feeling it. Okay, that's what that's number one. I can't sleep at night. So I think that for people who, and this is not just about sex, but I think that one of the downsides, especially to those of you who desire it, living alone can be lonely. Living alone without intimacy, especially if I'm speaking for me, but catch what what part fits for you, especially if you've grown used to it, especially if it's become a habit, especially if it's become your routine. When I get home, I know that there's going to be my spouse there, my partner there, waiting on me. And I get to unwind and decompress from my day. Let me tell you what this did at work today. This Sabrina, she you get to debrief about your day, and I think that for me, what one of the things that I'm appreciating in our absence of one another is I'm seeing the routine that we've developed and how important it is, and how it regulates my nervous system, just being afraid having a decreed and declared close to you. Now, I'm not the clingiest guy, like I grew up alone, so I know I do like my solitude, but I'm noticing that I feel the absence of my wife. I feel, and she ain't dead, but it feels like you know, you you know, I feel the gaps that she fills during my day. I feel those, you know, when somebody passes away and you they've been becoming part of your routine and they pass away and you the funeral is a week, or you know, the funeral is a week past, and you pick up the phone to get ready to text them, or some good news or bad news happens, and you get ready to text them or call them and you remember, damn, they gone. That's how I feel. Now she ain't dead. The situation is not that, it's not traumatic, but I reach for my phone, like I have to remind myself, like, oh, here goes another one. Nigga, you gotta take the meat out. I don't cook. Now, I'm gonna get you by. We're not gonna starve the kids. Like, I gotta, I gotta, I either gotta get on this grill, we gotta go to the store, I gotta go to Sprouts, and I'm gonna be doo-doo, dilly dally in the aisles, trying to remember what Brittany, because Britney does the predominant amount of the grocery shopping, and she's the cook. I can't cook. Now, I'm like an organist who can only play in like three keys. I can get you through a service, I can get you through. I uh I can hold you down, but I'm probably not gonna be your main choice if if John P. Key comes to town and he needs a band. If if Durinda Clark is coming to town and she needs an or I I'm probably not gonna be your first choice. I don't, I'm not that guy. But if I'm in a situation and I and there's not someone that can play, I can get you through in the kitchen. She would totally disagree with what I'm saying, but because you ain't here, you can't you can't stop me. You can't you can't stop me, Shmee. I can get you through. I told the kids, listen. So Brittany's telling them, like, hey y'all, I'm gonna be gone in August for about a week. We're riding in the car. This is some bull. It'd be your own kids, man. It it be your own. My daughter says, God help us all. I said, I'm driving and I turn around looking at it back. She's like, what is that supposed to mean? She said, No offense, dad. Like, but we're gonna miss mom. And I said, Man, what is who are you talking to? I raised you. Yeah, but you've never been, we've never been away from mom for this long. And like, you don't cook, and you know, mom, you know, is here when we get when when we get out of school, and it's summertime now, so like their mom works a job where she has some flexibility. I have a set schedule. She was like, we're really gonna miss you. And I'm looking like, you know, I started, God is my witness. I started feeling some job away. Like, I ain't good enough. Like, is it rage or is it hurt? Yeah, both of them. It's rage and hurt. I said, listen, like, y'all, we good. I'm talking like like we're in a war. Like, hey, y'all, listen, I got a plan. I said, I'm gonna bring, I'm gonna be on that grill. So John looks at me like, Dad, we can't eat barbecue for five days. Listen, listen, I got y'all. I know how to drop some meat in that grease, I know how to brown some meat, like we good. It's it's we're gonna have a good time. But they had me feeling some type of way. So Bree was like, Do you need do you need me to like prepare some meals? No, no, so I'm getting calls this week from my brothers and my sisters, like, y'all good over there? And I'm like, I'm looking at the phone. I'm looking at the phone, like, why are y'all checking on me? Like, I'm not growing out. I'm I'm holding down over here. I cut my own grass. We just checking on you. I said, Did she tell y'all to be checking in on me? Like, I don't need to be checked on, like, we good over here, but I'm not doing, I'm not doing good. I'm not, I'm I'm just telling y'all. No one's gonna see this. I'm not doing good. Can't sleep. I woke up tired. Uh last one, let me move it. I forgot to take out the meat. I'm driving home, like, man, I'm gonna I'm gonna do some brown that meat. I'm gonna put these steaks on the grill. And I I said, no. So those of you um parents, those of you who um did not understand the importance in the family structure about taking out the meat, we thought that they was just complaining. We thought that they was just calling the house phone to have something to be upset about. You just always the failure if you're not vegan. Now, even the vegans take them uh pinto beans out. Is that right, the pinto beans? I've heard them vegans, you gotta soak them beans. So whether you vegan, whether you eat meat or you don't eat meat, um the end of the night meal preparation is key. How you start. If you start your day off wrong, you could feel the effects of that bad start. I'm coming home tonight. I'm like, man, I'm gonna get that grill fired up, do, do, doo, and I said, I forgot to take the meat out. So I get it. So shout out to the single dads, shout out to the single mothers that are here's my list that you have children, that you work a full-time job, you might have a part-time hustle. Those children might be in sports: soccer, track, pickleball practice, football practice, basketball practice, the regular season, AAU league, uh games, tournaments, church, uh papers to write if you're in school, uh, presentations to get ready for, the protection of your edges, drinking water, counting your calories, getting your steps in, working out. How do you do it?

SPEAKER_00 19:37

How do you do it?

SPEAKER_01 19:39

How do you how do you study, work, uh uh, unwind, decompress, wash clothes, here it is for five praises, fold them. Woo! Now, someone made a post, and I can't remember the exact quote, but the statement was shout out to all the people who are making it in this economy that was designed for a two-income household. Living in this day and time in this economy with one income. I'm not talking to the ballers right now, I'm talking to the regular folks who punch a clock, who got a little side hustle, and you making ends meet. You got you got a little chain set aside, but you ain't where you want to be at, but you thank God that you're not where you used to be. Gas is everything is going up. I was gonna say everything is going down with the word of God. That's my that's the church. That's the other except for the pain. Uh um uh uh tragedies are commonplace, all kinds of diseases, people are slipping away, economies down, people can't get enough pay. That's what we're living at right now. Walter, we thank you. It was a prophetic word. We're living in those times right now, sir. And I don't know how y'all do it. I really I'm I'm not, and I know it's easy to say you're not cut out for something when you've been used to not having to deal with it. If something happened to Brittany tomorrow, I know I'm and we've talked about this, so this ain't new. If you reel this part, just know for y'all who watching this, we've already discussed this is a known fact in my house. I'm not gonna be single. I'm not getting married, you know, quick, quick, but I'm gonna have a special friend. I'm not sleeping alone. So when you're preaching, this is a sidebar. When you're preaching and teaching to folks about um abstaining, Lord, and they've been and they're in their 30s, their 40s, their 50s, and they've had a wife or a husband, and they're used to knocking boots, you need to get on with that. Cause you no one can preach. Okay, I'm not I'm gonna give you my. My position yet. Somebody gonna try to talk to me. You need to man, you don't get your somebody, something happened to my wife, and I'm out here single. Listen to me, smiles. I'm not gonna be around here for okay. I'm just telling you right now. I don't do well. You see them people on your job that's crabby, snappy. Some of that all is all some, not all of that is the lack of therapy. Some people just backed up. Some people ain't had a release. And I'm not talking about the presence of the Lord either. So mm-mm. I I got to, my body is used to a certain routine. You take me out of that certain route. I'm a guy, I'm a man of routine. I'm just trying to tell you tonight. We had to make some addicts. No, giving you you raw. Okay. So if you have children, all of the responsibilities in this life without anybody to help you share that load. It's a job. And I was thinking about these last couple of days, like I really empathize with the people who are in relationships and you're with somebody, but you ain't got no help. I'm with him, I'm with her, I'm with her, I'm with him. But I don't feel like this nigga got my back. We together on paper, but I can't count on you. I I feel you like I haven't lived that for an extended period of time. We've had portions and times and little phases in our relationship where, you know, I don't like you, you don't like me. But to live in a household with an individual that you feel like, for whatever reason, justified or unjustified, informed or uninformed, the feeling is still real. I don't feel like the person who I'm sleeping next to got my back. I don't feel like when I go home, I can decompress, that I can get away from the pressures of this world and breathe and exhale. I I my I empathize, my heart goes out. That's a real I know people who have experienced that, and it's not, I've seen the pain on people's faces, people that I that I have sat with, people that I know near and far, like so for real, Brittany and I um empathize, it's the best way that I can put it, that that is a real reality for some people. And there are people wrestling right now that are in relationships trying to figure out what to do. Like there was an old play that came out way when I was younger that decreed and declared I can do bad all by myself. Like if this is what it's gonna be forever, let me. I heard somebody say, that's right. Oh, you're gonna get up and get a share on that. I can do bad all by myself. Like, if I'm in this alone and I'm in this alone for an extended period of time, what are we doing? So, okay, so that's my point. Um, this economy really requires two incomes, or a lot of one income. And for many Americans, it's it takes a second income. It takes two streams, three streams. So that's one thing, that's one that's one thing that I've noticed as a con, as a negative to being a divorced dad for a week. Another thing is if you get sick, I'm saying these points to empathize with those and to express the fact that if you're with someone, appreciate them. If you're with someone and they're quality, if you're with someone and they're a stand-up guy, they're a stand-up woman, they handle business, they they're consistent, they are um, they love you, they love their children, they come through, they're doing their best, appreciate that. And I think that during this time away, I'm really, really, really looking at my appreciation for my marriage, for my wife, and all that she does is sometimes you can take what a person does, big things, small things, and we can verbalize, I really appreciate you because you do XYZ. But I think that it's another, it's an it's another thing to not have that thing that they do, to not have that presence, to miss it because it's not there to say I appreciate it. So I want to encourage those of you who are with someone who is quality, or for those of you who are aspiring or desire to be with someone that is quality, appreciate them, appreciate what they are, who they are, what they represent, that you appreciate. Don't miss what is it? You don't miss your well until your water runs dry. Don't don't miss that person after they're gone. I'm old school church. They used to say, give me my flowers while I'm still living, so I can smell the brief, I can see the beauty. I'm gonna say booty, so I can smell, see the beauty, touch up no bad, so that I can see the beauty that they bring. If you're with someone and you know that you'll never find if you know the person that you're with puts up with your and you know you're not sure if there's somebody else out here that will sign up for your, you should appreciate the woman that you with that knows your scent, that will help you clean up your because it's harming out here, and I'm only telling you this from a from a five-day, I got a five-day single stint, and I'm telling you it's harming out here, it's harming out, it's harming out here from a single day, it's hard out here. Okay, I'm going to the school tomorrow or Thursday for the schedule pickup. Now, for some of y'all, this is second nature. My brother called me, he was like, Bro, how you doing? I was like, Man, this is for the bird. He was like, Yeah, well, yeah. He was like, I didn't live this. I said, Man, I'm sorry. I didn't know. When you live alone, especially if you don't have community, something hurts your feelings, and you get even don't don't be in a bad mental, don't be in a state where you you're going through some mental stuff and you need a hug. I'm good, I ain't there, but I cannot imagine being depressed, being beat down, and coming home and needing a hug and can get one. So people who I'm spitting, people who I just I already have um a large range of grace with the human experience. I pastored for over 15 years, so I understand humanity, I understand why people are are finding themselves in some of the situations that they find themselves in. So I'm not lost on it. Like I'm one of the most progressive folks that I know. But I I see even from a better perspective now, like why some people get down the way they get down. And I think that here it goes, that especially within the church and and those of us, those who have the tendency to cast judgment on people's decision making and what people are doing or what people are not doing. I think that we must be very careful without judging a thing without understanding the choices that that individual had available to them. You you can't um judge something without understanding the context. And I'm finding out that loneliness, now it's been a minute since I've been alone. I'm temporarily alone, but it I it's a feeling that loneliness can produce that if you don't have a discipline, if you don't have some sense, if you don't, if you're not in touch with what you feel, if you haven't done some soul work, loneliness will have you out here doing some crazy stuff. Loneliness will have you out here finding company in places that are aren't safe. Loneliness, I think it's in Genesis, where is it? It's not good for humanity to be alone. You and I are wired for connection. So listen, I'm gonna say this movie, but my heart really, really, really goes out. I I have a burden for people, even now more than ever, for people who are alone or who feel alone. Like it's it's just not, it's not, it's it's not, it ain't it's one thing to decide to be alone, to make a decision to be alone. That still comes with its own consequences and experiences. But to want somebody, who is that is that is that Janet Jackson? Oh, that's Aaliyah. Tell me if you're that somebody. If anybody needs somebody, tell me to want somebody, to want a friend, to want someone to fully see you and to fully accept you and to fully love you, and can't find it. So I'm speaking from a temporary other side of our relationship, and I'm I'm sure she would say the same as well. She we was texting each other today, and her schedule is so busy during this work trip. So we usually during my lunch, I might call her or text her, she might call me and we chop it up or catch up or whatever. So, like, yeah, I'm missing my girl. But so we got kids, we got intimacy, the schedule, this economy. If you get sick, this is where I left off at. If you get sick and you live alone, especially if you don't have family or close friends or community in the city or the town that you live in, you and some of you have, um I haven't been there. Thankfully, I turn into a baby when I get sick. Like, I don't get sick often, but when I do, I I'm not good. When my body says, okay, I've had enough, my body says, I've had enough. I can't imagine being sick and not having somebody there. And Britney's a nurse, so her caretaking, her her come through, her attention to detail, you need to take this. Like, that's my nurse. That's not only my lover, that's not only my girlfriend, that's my nurse. Nurse, I need my sponge back. She said, I'm really gonna miss you. I said, You want you want me to start an argument so that it makes it a little bit easier to manage? She was like, No, let's go make it worse. I was like, I'm just trying to come up with some solutions that we can get through this. Uh um, so I think I think I'm done. Let me see, let me make sure I gotta make sure I'm complete tonight. And then also, last point, if you're with somebody that you don't like, to go through everything that I just listed lack of intimacy, I can't trust you. The kids are in sports, the baby is sick, I'm not getting enough pay, I'm being passed up for promotions on my job, um, car trouble. We haven't even talked about safety. If I I know people who have in times past lived alone and were scared, were afraid to be home alone. That ain't me, because but I'm just thinking about scenarios and circumstances that I know that if you your body has been used to, I know that this individual will take care of it. If that individual is your protector, if that individual, if you know that nothing's going to happen to you from a protection standpoint, from a physical harm perspective, because my man or my man, whatever your dynamic is, I know that so-and-so is here, and they're going to, if something, if someone was to to try to attack me, if someone was trying to grab my purse or whatever, I know I got a strong, you know, it could be uh, yeah, I'm really who whoever whoever in the relationship represents that physical strength. Being used to that, and because of death, because of divorce, because of sickness, because of a job, uh, a work trip, being used to that and then not having it, you miss it. So I'm thinking about people who are in that situation where you can be an adult and be afraid to live alone. I know people who are not used to paying bills. There's a guy who comes into my job um consistently. His wife just recently passed, and he's asking me, How do you fill out this paperwork? Simple paperwork. I don't know I've never done it before. I'm trying to mail this paperwork off. And is this the right form? Like, and I'm like, Yeah, you know, he's older gentlemen. He was like, Man, I've never had to do this before because my wife was the one that always took care of this area. And I'm like, damn. This man is in his 50s, having to relearn a basic component to the upkeep of his life because his wife just held it down, and out of sight, out of mind, I know she got it. Well, now she's no longer living, and he's coming in and his hair is all on the side of his head, and he's got on, he's looking like something in his life is missing. Okay, someone in his life is missing. I'm looking at this man like he looks, he looks the shelf. It looked like somebody just got him up out of bed and rubbed his hair like this and and threw some clothes on him from from from underneath the bed and said, hey, you gotta go to John's job and get this paperwork mailed off. And and I'm like, and I said, God, I hope that ain't I'm looking at him being selfish, like I hope I'm not gonna ever be you. You look like you're unprepared, but I get it, like, so I'm I'm making light of it, but you know, when someone who has been a staple in your life, even if they weren't providing anything monetarily or protecting you physically or giving you money, all of us have felt the love of somebody who was there, who we knew that if we needed them, we could call them and then they transitioned and they've left this earth and it takes time to adjust. Sometimes we never come to it's a new normal because that that old normal is no longer in existence, and so learning how to embrace a new normal can take some time. Love that was there, uh you can feel it being removed from the earth and just being left with the memory of that individual. Somebody crying right now, because it's a real it's a real thing to know that if I need you, I know I can call you. And when that person is no longer available because of divorce, because of uh death, because of whatever, because they just you've decided to move on, they've decided to move on. It's a real adjustment. And I'm only feeling it for a week. And I'm hopping on this because if I'm feeling the absence of my routine, of the woman that I love, the woman that I'm building with, the kids are I'm like, man, like when she gets back, it's really helping me even the more for us to appreciate nobody has to do anything. Like we're adults. That person that you're with can wake up tomorrow and say, you know what, sick of the shit. Someone could have a life-changing stroke and lose their that lose their cognition. Someone could get dementia. Those of you who work in the nursing field or who have had loved ones or parents or grandparents or people that you love that have had Alzheimer's or dementia, to see a person that you recognize a memory, a memory of a consistency of of uh of uh a normality, to see their bodies there, but their brain is gone, that's that can be traumatizing. So so I think that for me, and I hope that this lands with you, appreciate what's quality, appreciate whose quality. I think that we can rush through this thing called life so quickly that we just take it for granted that so and so will always do XYZ, that so-and-so will always what if they get sick? What if they don't want to do it anymore? What if they get tired? What if they evolve and say, you know what? I want to change the way we do it. So even though I know that you do all of these things consistently out of the love in your heart for me and for our family, I still want to stop and appreciate it. Because you don't have to. It doesn't have to be a part of your constitution. There are some people that don't have the automatic come through, the provision, the provider, the caretaker, the respect. Some people, it has to be added in. So I just want to thank you. But let me be myself. I want to thank you. This is something that I think that we should implement if we don't already do it, and or do it more often. I want to stop and appreciate that that you do, that you do it often, because I would feel it if you did it, and I appreciate it. And I don't want to wait until you get tired. I don't want to wait until something monumental happens and we're separate. I want to tell you right in this moment, you would be surprised how far that goes. For those of you who have implemented that, you already know. I've seen grown men cry, grown women cry with just the acknowledgement. Because there are people who do the thing that they do and they do it on autopilot, they do it so consistently that it can feel like, man, is it seen? Am I getting any credit? Does it count? Especially if there is a leak in your relationship, those things that go unappreciated, unappreciated, can really do quick damage in your relationship if they're not spoken to and acknowledged by the receiver. So I hope this helped tonight. I just wanted to share some things that I'm feeling, things that I'm learning, things that I'm processing through during this short time that Britney's away. Uh when we get back, it'll be revival. We gotta go out of town, we got to catch up. But 19 years being married to somebody that you were with in your early 20s, moving into your 40s, like man, it's it's crazy. So love yourself, take take care of yourself, love others, be kind to yourself. We are moving through this. Thing called life, and we're not designed to do it alone. Whether it's romantic or platonic, we're not wired to be alone. So if you're with someone, do all that you can to work it out. Do all that you can to show that person that you appreciate what they are, who they are, the good that they bring, the quality that they bring, because it's not promised forever. You can be here today and gone today. So I think that we should just take a moment sometimes to stop and appreciate the moments. Let me say this last point in my close that what you're living right now in the future, one day, it's going to be a memory. Where you live, who you're with, what you have on, what your hair is like, where you work at, etc. One day that's going to be the good old days. One day that's going to be a memory. Do you remember when? So appreciate it now. Don't be so in a rush to get to wherever your destination is that you st you ignore the journey. The journey. Appreciate who you who's in your life. Friends, family, your lover. Appreciate them. I want to stop and tell you thank you because I couldn't imagine what it would be like without you.

SPEAKER_00 45:25

That's if you if you like the person that you with now, you you know. Adjust that accordingly. Oh, at a brave part.

SPEAKER_01 45:37

So um this is really what you anything you got you want to say? I've been doing all this talking. You ain't gonna say nothing tonight. All right. So, yeah, uh, I'm gonna find something to do. I'm gonna find some work to do. I gotta go, I gotta go to the grocery store and cook tonight. We're gonna brown some meat. We're probably gonna do some taco, some real light work. Do you need taco seasoning, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know what all that's on. Some of you know, put some cilantro, you know, some some chives, you know, some green onions, I mean, some henna lime chips. You know, I'm a oh, that's right. We still been eating good anyway.

SPEAKER_00 46:17

Yeah, I got clothes to fold. Yeah. Woo! Boy, so I'll be up tonight.

SPEAKER_01 46:30

I'll be up. Ain't nothing like the real thing. I mean, ain't nothing like the real thing, baby, man. Ain't nothing like the real thing. How I know that we are not wired to be alone. I can't sleep at night. I'm used to having company. Who's gonna hear all my jokes before I go to sleep? Marcus McCall, you before I go to sleep and tell y'all all everything that's on my mind today. I FaceTime Britain, but it ain't the same. I don't like that long distance stuff. I don't know. Those of y'all who do the long distance thing, I need to touch you. I need to feel on you. Y'all know what my love language is. If you love me, touch me. Because if I love you, I'm gonna touch on you. I need to touch on my woman. Let me touch you. Where's my mic? At see if you are real. That's how my wife knows I didn't miss you. Outside of my words, I need to feel on you. I need to, I need to feel from the crown of your head to the soles of your feet. Fill you up. I need to feel on you. That's how I express love, that's how I give love. I got to touch you. I need to know that it's real. All right, I got to go. I'm gonna start uh saying stuff that Marco's gonna have to cut off of this video. I'm sorry what I said about religious folk. You know what I meant. All right, until next time. We always say before we end every episode, but what we always say, Brittany, come on on three. No, on three. One, two, three. Marriage is for so is singleness. You got to be grown, you got to be mature to be out here with children, with a career, with edges, trying to unbig your back, trying to get your credit right, trying to get your side hustle off the ground, trying to get these papers done, to take these kids to practice, picking them up from daycare, filling up the gas tank, going to the gun range. This is grown. Not only is marriages for grown, but we didn't scratch through marriages later. Adulting is for grown folks. This is grown folks talk. This uh life is for grown folks. All right, I'm done. That's my subboxing. God bless you. We'll see you. There's no one to stop me. Somebody stop me. All right, y'all. I hope this helped you. I hope you got something out of this. See you later. I'll be up.