Broken Relationships: Part 1

This episode is one segment of a larger mini-series on the effects of broken relationships in our lives. In this opening message, Leonard Keene begins unpacking what Scripture calls “the mystery of the Kingdom of God.” Rather than focusing on rules or behavior modification, he reveals how God’s design for relationships shapes the flow of peace, joy, and spiritual health in our lives.

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Transcript

The Mystery Of The Kingdom

Leonard 1:15

Could you open your Bibles with me to Mark 4: 14? Well, let's back up to 11. Mark 4: 11. Hallelujah. See some of my friends around here? Out there? Praise the Lord. This is going to be a fun night. Mark 4, let's go to 11. Now this is Jesus talking to his disciples, and he said unto them, Unto you it is given to know the mystery of the kingdom of God. You know, I've puzzled over what that means, the mystery of the kingdom of God for some time. Now, realize the Lord is talking. See, he has given parables to the people. He just talked to all the people. He says, Hey, this guy went out and threw seed all around, you see. And the disciples took him aside and said, Hey, what do you mean? He said, Okay, I'm going to explain to you the mystery of the kingdom. And so he began to explain the mystery of the kingdom. Now we're not going to study Mark 4:14 tonight. I just want to let you know that there is a mystery to the kingdom, and we're going to begin to unravel some of it in the next several hours. The mystery of the kingdom of God. And it is a mystery, and the Lord says, and he sets his disciples down, I'm going to teach you what it is. Now let's look over to Ephesians

Ephesians 5 And True Submission

Leonard 2:45

5. And let's look down at verse 32. And we and the same word comes up and says, This is a great mystery. But I speak concerning Christ in the church. Now, Ephesians 5, the entire chapter, talks about relationships, and this is what we're going to be dealing with tonight. Relationships of people, one to another. You see, because Jesus came not proclaiming the ten commandments. He didn't put them down, he just didn't dwell on them. He says, I bring unto you an entirely new system, something new, a whole new thing that has a mystery about it. I'm going to share it with you. I want you to look back up now, and we're going to begin to look at the heart of what we're dealing with. It's Ephesians 5. And let's start at verse 17, and let's just read here. It says wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of God is. And be not drunk with wine wherein with excess; but be filled with the Spirit; Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns, and singing or spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord, giving thanks always for all things unto God, the Father, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting yourself one to another in the fear of God. How many know that what you fear is your God? How many know that? Whatever you fear is your God. Does anybody agree with that? Besides the pastor, right? In other words, if I fear cancer, guess what's my God? Cancer. If I fear going broke, what's my God? Money. If I fear, if I went through the depression, how many of you ever went through depression? And I was born in it. You know? But but you could take some of these guys who went through the depression, you'll look in their closets, you know, and you'll look in their cupboards and they're full. Cloetta's mother went through the depression. Let me tell you, you could go into Cloetta's house, close the doors, and not come out for four years and gain weight. See? See, whatever you fear becomes your God. Whatever you fear becomes your God. I was talking with a zookeeper one time, and they were telling us how they feed snakes, you see. And they have to feed snakes with live birds and mice. And I'm not interested in watching it. He just told me this story. And he said, What happens? They take the cobra and they put and he's over there in the corner and he's hungry, see? And they put a little bird in there, and they say, There you are, bird. They throw him in there. And the little bird sees the cobra and he's immediately fearful and he runs off to the corner, see? And cobra doesn't move. He sits there. The little bird, he's fluttering over there for a while. Pretty soon he looks back over. And he sees the cobra. And the cobra looks him in the eye and the bird took looks away. Boy, he's not gonna look at that thing. He's there scared, see? And pretty soon he looks back and sees the cobra right in the eye. And looks a little longer, you see. And before long, about the third time, he's looked back over there, and he looks a little longer, and the cobra just stares at him. Finally, the bird comes back. About the sixth time he looks, he can't take his eyes off. And he stands there and he gets into a trance, and pretty soon he starts walking. The bird now. Dumb old bird, see? Walking towards the cobra. He's walking towards that cobra and he starts walking and he looks him right in the eye and comes right up to the cobra. And the cobra's sitting there, he hasn't even moved. All he does when the bird gets up there, open his mouth and go, he's got it. Whatever you fear and concentrate on is your God. Now, what does this verse say? It says, Submit yourself one to another in the fear of the Lord. See, the Lord is saying, Fear me, brothers. I want to be your God. Work out your own salvation in fear and trembling, see? And a lot of folks say, Well, I fear Satan. I'm going to cast Satan down that dirty rat. And you'll spend, curse you, Satan. I curse you, get out of my life. And I run seven demons off today, and I run eight off yesterday. Be careful, you're not the bird, fella. You know? Be careful that whatever you fear the most becomes your God. What's the Lord say? Fear him. Let me tell you, how many know that Randy, my son, fears dad? He better. But it is a good kind of fear. He is fearing what?

Fear As A False God

Leonard 7:35

Getting dad angry because of his attitudes or his behavior, see? So as long as he keeps that relationship clicking, he's got it made, hasn't he? Now, what are we all talking about? What are you talking about, Leonard? I'm talking about relationships. Now we're going to be talking about relationships tonight because this is the mystery of the kingdom. Jesus brought unto us a new understanding of relationships. There is a secret in relationships and understanding them, which once you begin to begin to flow with and understand, it just it'll revolutionize your life. Let's take, for instance, we've got a dad and a mother up here. That's a dad and mom. How many know that what happens in that relationship flows down to the little children? We could call this a flow, if you like. Now, what is if there is rebellion in this relationship right here and strife? Guess what flows to the children? You don't have to guess, do you? You know. Whatever results from this relationship flows to the children. If there is rebellion within the parents, there's gonna be rebellion within the children. So when I have people come to me and they say, Leonard, happens all the time. We've got teenagers in rebellion. What do we do? I've got children. What are we gonna do? What are the rules? You know all the rules. See? Well, I don't know them all, but I know some of them. I say, listen, I can tell you method all day, fella, you know, friend. But if if the flow is wrong from the parent-child or the parent relationship down to the children, your rules aren't gonna make any difference. I can tell you to spank your children at a certain time. But if the flow is wrong, the rebellion is still there. You can beat them, you can knock them down, and you can whatever you want to do. But if the flow, if there's a flow of rebellion, of strife, of discontent in the parents to the children, the children are gonna have the same thing. And then they grow on up and then they have their little kids, and then the same flow follows, you see. And on and on, generation to generation. Now, Jesus says, I'm going to bring you the mystery. There's a new thing here I want to show you about people, about the kingdom. And so the Lord is really saying, if we scratch out rebellion and put in the word submit, and they say, Oh, submit. I'm not going to submit. Submit to what? Submit to another man? No. No way. Just Jesus and me. Oh, wait a minute. Maybe we did we read the verse right. Submit yourself one to another, see? In the fear of the Lord. I didn't say to everybody, did this one to another. One o ther person. Now, when we look at this section of the Bible, I call this self-counseling because we're going to be dealing with this. And I think of the people that I look around, I call them wounded walkers. You know, people walking around, but they're hurt. They got an arrow in them. Somebody shot them. They went out and they submitted to somebody and somebody went, you know, and we call it the stab. And then they twist, you know, and take your money while they're doing it. And so now you run around like this, see? You say, okay, brother, I'm submit. I submit. I'll submit to you just a little bit, but hallelujah, I'm gonna bring that verse, submit myself one to another. But just in case you're gonna stab me, I'll grab the knife before it goes in. Now, what is preventing us from submitting? I mean, a lot of us don't submit, right? Even to our husbands or wives or whatever. And what's preventing it is what we're going to study tonight. What is preventing us from opening ourselves up to another person and obeying this, you see? What is preventing it? Now, we're dealing about broken relationships, and I want to talk and give you what I call a daddy Keene definition of broken relationships. That is when two or more people interact, and as a result of that, somebody ends up with anger, resentment, bitterness, anxiety, jealousy, out of that relationship. To give you an example. Some several years ago, I had one of my best friends who was a judge. Now, I don't know why, but he began to get really tough on some of my clients. And I didn't see him as a judge, just as just my friend Vaughn. See, and we were to court,

Relationships As Spiritual Flow

Leonard 12:20

I call him judge, but he's still just a guy to me, see. And but each time I take my clients in there, it seemed like he was getting tougher on my clients. They were going to jail longer. You know, they were paying bigger fines. How many know you don't do well as a lawyer if that happens? Pretty soon you don't have any clients, see? So, so one day he sentenced one of my guys to about a year in a county jail, and he had no business. It was all planned. He was only supposed to go for 30 days, not a year. And it made me so furious. I like to pick up a book and threw it at him. But I didn't, because he's the judge. I stormed out of that room and I slammed that door, and I'm just sure the glass is gonna come clear out, see? And went out, and that was on bar luncheon day, and I was determined, you know, you're gonna do that to my clients. Let me show you what I'm gonna do. You and I went to the bar luncheon. See, we got about 200 lawyers there, and I said, Hey, fellas, I got something to tell you. See? How many know at that instant I had a broken relationship? Right? Okay. Now I begin to tell him, I say, listen, I want to tell you what happened, what Vaughn just did to one of my clients. I says, Is anybody else experiencing this? And so a few guys raise their hands, yeah, he's kind of being unfair. Not being consistent. Aha. Now, I go back to the office and immediately all the new cases I file, I put on there affidavit of prejudice against judge. So, if you make up a nice affidavit, that throws him off of all your cases. And uh, so he phones me. He says, Hey, what is this, Leonard? He says, Are you still mad? Didn't you haven't you got over that from the other day? I says, I think you and I better talk. He says, All right, let's go have lunch. We went to have lunch, see. And I says, Vaughn, I said, what's wrong? I says, why are you being so tough on some people? I says, there is a spirit underneath of almost hatred towards some of these people. And I says, it's not those people, it's me. And you're taking it out of my clients. Oh, he says, you're just being picky uni, see. No, I said, I don't think so. Oh, I said, you are. He says, You did, you just want it all your own way. You just want all your clients to go free, see, so they can pay you more money and all that stuff, see? I said, Well, that's part of it. But but that isn't all of it. Now we never patched it up at that time. And for about six months, he says, Well, he says, he says, you just have to be that way. I said, Well, would you just have your girl take all your all you off in my cases? He says, No, you're gonna have to file those affidavits. And I said, All right, I'll file 'em. For six months, every time we'd meet in the hallway, how many have ever had a broken relationship? Don't raise your hand. How many have ever had a broken relationship and had occasion to meet that person? Now you meet in the hallway. Now you don't even see them. They're not there, but somehow there's electricity. You know what I'm talking about? The mystery of the kingdom? This is a mystery of being out of the kingdom. How many know that? See, you walk, you walk by this guy, and all of a sudden you just feel that electricity going, you know, and on you go by. Six months this went on. Finally, one day, you know, the Lord says, Hey, Leonard, wake up! You're losing something. I'm gonna give you the five things that you lose out of a broken relationship shortly. You're losing something. It's costing you. Let me tell you, I went and patched it up. I'm not willing to pay the price of a broken relationship. You see, because whatever I fear is my God, and I fear meeting him. Now, when there is a broken relationship, and we can have put this two lines here between these two two guys, as long as there is solidarity between those two people, there is a flow back and forth between those two people. But that break comes down in there and causes the tension, the anxiety, which that flow can't get through. How many have ever seen a relationship where it stopped flowing because of some kind of break, sometimes unspoken, you see? How many know you can live with somebody and have a broken relationship? Is that true? Husband and wife, most of them actually do live together and have broken relationships. Many men have broken relationships at work and bring them home, you see, the effect of them, which we'll talk about in a moment. Broken relationships and this tension that resides between these two people doesn't allow them to flow. So now let's take A here. We'll call him A and B. A decides to go down here and uh meet C. A doesn't do so well. Why his mind, his thoughts, his energies are back on B. From time to time. He'll be doing something all of a sudden, B. Nah, get out of there, B, you know? Go back to work. And B comes back up again. Now, how do we find God's will? We're talking about the mystery, and we're talking about the kingdom of God establishing on our lives. Now we've just read that verse, and I want I want to put it upon here so that we can kind of take a quick look at it. This is Ephesians 5:17. It says, Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understand what the will of God is? And we're looking for the will of God. How many know that the will of God and your happiness are just like that? Do you know that? Your

Self‑Counseling: Sing, Give Thanks, Submit

Leonard 18:20

the will of God and your happiness are buddies, if you like. They're friends. In other words, you're going to be only happy where you fit into the will of God. If you're not in the will of God, what else happening? You're not happy. You're a wounded walker, you're wandering around, you're discontented, looking for something. Looking for something, looking for something, not in the will of God. When the Lord told us to come to Texas, He woke me up one morning, He'd been planning all this, you know, and I hadn't seen quite seen it coming yet. But God woke me up and says, Go to Texas. And I says, Okay, I sounds great. However, what if I don't go? What if I don't go? You know what the next thing he really spoke to me, as clear as could be. He says, That's all right. I've moved your heart and your happiness to Texas. If you want to stay here in Oregon, have at 'em. You're going to be miserable. Your heart's in Texas, already moved it. And you don't follow it, brother, you're just incomplete. How many know? Have you ever seen that situation? Oh, if I have just obeyed the Lord and see, you know, and so the will of God and happiness is directly in line. Understand that whether you're a Christian or not a Christian, if you don't get right and get into the will of God, you're not going to be happy. Well, God's just allowed to just take your take your old heart and say, well, put it over here, and if you don't follow, you're an incomplete person, you see. Now, this verse tells us be Filled with the Spirit, speaking to yourselves. It gives us a three-point program. Well, I call this a self-counseling. This is the how do I get the will of God? Right here, it tells us what is the will of God for you? Number one is speaking to yourselves in songs and hymns and spiritual songs. You can call that singing if you like. And making melody in your heart. Have you ever seen anybody go down the road singing? You know? A nutty Christian. Probably got a bumper sticker on there, Jesus is Lord or something, you know. He's got a whole, he's read the verse. Step number one in finding the will of God. Sing. All right, what's number two? Giving thanks for all things unto God and the Father in the name of your Lord Jesus. Oh, you mean I'm not supposed to curse about this bad thing which happened? That Satan's got on me, and I've opened up my armor. A lady called me the other day and she says, or she says, Leonard, she says, I don't know what to do. I didn't even know her. She said, I'm missing my armor someplace. She says, I pray three hours a day, and I pray for president, I pray for the foreign missions, and she said, I'm just wore out of praying. And I read my Bible another two hours a day, but she says, somehow Satan got in. He got me on the arm. My armor's down. Do you know where it's down? I says, I think number three. She says, What number three? I says, Well, I won't tell you by phone. You got to come over and we'll talk about number three. Number three is submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of the Lord. This is where we miss it. See, a lot of us charismatics, we'll sing and we'll praise the Lord and give thanks and hallelujah, but nothing happens. How many have you ever seen that happen? There's no peace, there's no happiness, nothing comes into their life. I've seen I've seen preachers and and and deacons and people of God who want to serve the Lord be down on the altar and just cry out for hours. Oh Lord, where are you? Please come into my life. I don't sense you, you're gone. Where are you? And the Lord says, Hey, the mystery of the kingdom, number three. If you'll listen, submitting yourselves one to another in a fear of the Lord. Now you can't submit when you've got three things, and I'm going to show you what they are shortly, that are hindering us. You can't submit, and if you can't submit one to another, you'll never really find the will of God for you. You'll never really find the happiness you see that the Lord really wants for you. Sing, give thanks, and submit. That's the way you counsel yourself. And when I begin to have difficulty, that's the first thing I do is which one of those am I falling down on? Am I closing up and not opening myself to people, letting another person into my life, or letting my life become a part of another person? You know, is that what I'm doing? Is that why I feel crummy? Why I'm discontented, I'm miserable? Or is it number two? Am I complaining about something? How many know there's two kinds of language? Language of complain and the language of praise. We were in Midland, Texas traveling through recently. There's a really a neat Italian restaurant there. And so we we'd heard about, so we went in and ate and they had tremendous food. I mean, coming out, it was busy, and there was this gal about 62 who was taking the money. And so I just thought I would I just say something to her, you know. You like to try to talk with people. And so I says, Boy, you're busy tonight. She says, Yeah, we sure are. And I says, What's wrong? She says, We just never get caught up. She says, Boy, I got more troubles. I said, Well, honey, what's your trouble? And she began a list of, she says, I just don't like this job. I this is, I said, Boy, it's really good food. Well, how about the food? She said, but but this is just a crummy place to work. I said, Well, honey, I'm a customer. I'm eating, you know. Yeah, I know. But I used to have a good job, she told me. Now the people begin to line up. See, it was busy. And I give her my Bank of America credit card, and she had got a hold of it

Broken Relationships Defined

Leonard 24:30

and reached down to get the stapler thing, but she hadn't yet, you know, brought it up because she was beginning to get so concerned about telling me her problems. And I couldn't get her stopped. I got that lady started, and that was bad. Because these people began to line up and she didn't see him. And she went on and she says, and and by the way, she says, she says, she says, My husband, she says, You know about him? I didn't know I don't know about him. And that was the wrong thing to say. You should say, Yes, I know all about him. But I said the wrong thing. No, I don't know. And sure enough, boy, she starts telling me he got sick, and she says, Those dirty doctors, they took, they knew exactly how much money we had, and they took it all. Everywhere. She don't got any money anymore. I gotta go to work, and now he's in a nursing home. He can't even talk anymore. I can't even have money to talk to, she says. Lost his speech or something, she says. And then she decided that she says, and it's affecting my health. She says, she's and she starts telling me, I didn't, I begin to plug, you know. You have you ever see a spiritual plug where you plug a ear spiritually, you don't put your fingers up there? If you put your fingers up there, probably be the best thing you could do for them. Just, you know. But you're polite and you don't. You just put the spiritual plugs in, you know. And I began to watch these people line up. And when we got out of there, Cloetta and I, we listed 14 things that she complained about. 14 things, and it, you know, I just didn't take her very long at all. And I thought, you know how sad? Right before I left, I says, I says, honey, I says, have you ever just have you ever asked the Lord to help you? She looked at me kind of funny. She said, Well, if he's there to help me, he ought to get over here and help me because I sure need it. And went right on. The language of complaint and the language of praise. See, two kinds of language. Hallelujah. Okay, let's take a look at uh what are the basic hindrances stopping us from submitting. That's a bad word to some people's vocabulary, but it's the mystery of the kingdom, isn't it? Okay, now there are number one here, we're gonna talk about hurts. Two kinds of hurts. These are injuries to my spirit, you see. Number one, well, we better put A, if we're gonna have number one as a hurt, we better put A, will be the hurts done by others to me. These are the guys who took the knife and stabbed me, you see, took my money, hurt me, cursed me, said bad things about me, you know. And we'll get more detail, you know, a little more later. But these are the people who hurt me and hurt my spirit. Now, the second kind are the hurts that I have that are done by me. How many know you can hurt yourself? Anybody know that? No. Nobody knows that. Somebody must know you can hurt yourself. There's one. Two. F eel like an auctioneer, you can hurt yourself, can't you? You really can. And how do you do it? I'll show you in a minute. If you don't already know, I'll show you. Now, interestingly enough, these hurts are just like little knives going into your spirit. Let's just say this V, this large V is like the spirit, just like little knives going in there and piercing that spirit and tearing it down. You see, because the Bible says the spirit of a man will sustain his infirmities. The spirit of a man will sustain his infirmities. You mean to say, Keene, that that the Bible says if my spirit is strong enough, that if my hand gets cut off, my spirit will sustain it? That's right. Oh, you mean if my spirit is strong enough and somebody abuses me? It'll sustain that infirmity? Yes, that's right. The reason we can't sustain infirmities is because our spirit is torn down from previous hurts, done by us, then by others. Have you ever seen a person who sat down at a coffee bar and uh they're like about 45 years old? Usually you've got to be about this age before they start setting in. See, the spirit's been torn down enough. And they'll sit there, and about a minute will go by and nobody pays any attention. The waitresses going back and forth and back and forth. Well, I just don't understand. How come they don't have good help around here anymore? I'm just gonna storm out of here. See? They were injured because they were neglected, and it hurt them a great deal. It changed their whole day. Now, you say, well, now, brother, shape up. Quit being so impatient. Now, this is where we've missed it. Now, we should teach a person, you know, don't be impatient and so forth. But many times we can't help it, can we? There's just something within us which rises up and there's anger. There's uncontrolled anger, which does what? Tells on that hurt. Uncontrolled anger tells me that there's a hurt in there. And so if that brother comes to me for says, Leonard, help me, I can't say, okay now, I want you to begin to have patience. I want you to begin to have long suffering. I can say it if I like. And he can try as he may. And he may have a little. But pretty soon, zap, out comes the anger again. Why? Because the spirit still hurt. I haven't dealt with the spirit. The rest of that verse in Proverbs said, and a wounded spirit who can bear. Okay, this is one of the basic areas that we're going to be dealing with. The second area is that of the should haves, I call them the should have's. Or shouldn't have's, I'm sorry. The shouldn't haves. The ought to's. I shouldn't have done that, and I ought to've done that over there. How many have ever done that? You got any should haves or ought to's? I got a few should haves and ought to's, eh? I should have done that over there. Oh, I wish I'd have done that. You know? That was the right thing to do and I didn't do it. I shouldn't have done this here. I shouldn't have cursed at that brother. I shouldn't have been short-tempered to that person. I shouldn't have kicked them out. I shouldn't have whatever. The should haves and the ought-to's affect our ability to submit. Alright? Number three, find room here for it, is spiritual cover. Spiritual cover. I just put the word cover there. And we'll deal with that in the last couple of hours, this series. But when I begin to counsel with a person who says, Leonard, help me. How many know that people ought to go to one another and say, Help me? Isn't that right? Isn't that what Christians are for? You know, and when someone comes to you and says, Help me, you help them, pretty soon, because guess who's gonna might be next? You need to be one of them and says, Help me. See. And so first thing I do is to begin to look for hurts, look for some should-haves and ought-to's, and check into the spiritual cover. Sometimes it's all three are problems. You see, and we as Christians, what we have done is concentrates on the should and the have-nots, the should have's and the ought not. So a brother comes to us for counseling, he says, you know what, help me with this. He says, Well, you gotta do this and you gotta do that. Now straighten up, you know? Paul says you do this, you put off the old and put on the new and just straighten up there, brother. Broken relationships primarily have effect in spiritual cover and in the hurts. These are the basic, what I could call the root, I'll spell root, right? R-O-O-T. This is the basic root problems. The symptoms is the different anger, uncontrollable anger, crying, depression, all these different symptoms. Like the fellow who went to the hospital. He was coughing and coughing, and they gave him a cough drop. He said, I think it's deeper than that. I think I got pneumonia. He said, No, no, you just gotta cough in your. I hear it. See, I hear it, it's in your voice right there. That's where the sound is. Put the cough drop in and suck it. He said, but I think it's down in my lungs. How many know that pneumonia might be deeper than the mouth? See? Same way that some of our problems are deeper than the anger, the impatience, and so forth. That's just the symptom. Those are symptoms. Like spell symptom, right? If I died it fast, you can't tell what the letters are. And then you, you know, uh, you know when I was in school, you know when you when you when you don't know like you want to write the word believe, you know, and you don't know whether it's I before e or e after c or whatever, and you go, uh-uh, uh, uh, see? And then dot high, and then they don't know. That's not the Christian way to do it, but that's that's the way I used to do it. Hallelujah. Jadon he identifies with that. Hallelujah. Okay, let's let's take a look. Now there are five basic relationships. Everyone has, or most everyone has. The only one that you might not have, well, you have you're in all of one of these, but the only one you might not has it have is if you're not married, you know, you might not have the husband-wife. Now we've got the the God to self, the self-to-self, the husband to wife, parent to child, and the self to others. The thing I want to show you here is that if I break a relationship anywhere, anywhere, let's take that relationship I had with the judge. I break this relationship, there's no longer a flow between us. Now, the effect of that I begin to take home. How many wives know that I'll bring it home? You wives know that I'll bring it home? If I have a problem at work, it's a first person who can tell. Now, he doesn't know, dad doesn't know it. He comes home and she can all of a sudden detect he's beginning to lose his sensitivity. He's beginning to lose his ability to flow with his wife because of the broke over here, the break of the relationship you see at work. Now, interesting enough, about broken relationships, I call them terminal. You know what terminal is? It means it's it'll kill you. Broken relationships will eventually get you. It's like heroin. You take heroin, it'll get you. But the thing about heroin is you know what got you and why it got you. See? You just you you say, oh, I was dumb enough to take the heroin, now I'm all messed up, see? But broken relationships, this is part of the mystery of life. Is if if you do this over here, we don't relate it to the bad life over here.

Finding God’s Will And Happiness

Leonard 36:20

We think that somehow time and space are going to solve relationships. How many know they don't? Well, we were in Hawaii here a few weeks ago. We walk in the beach and looking at the people. And Randy and I, our little son, 11 years old, I was saying, Randy, I said, you know, there are not very many of these people happy. He said, Yeah, Dad, how come? Most of them were in the areas from the 50 to 70. Now, some writers call that the golden years. I call it the cast iron years. Because golden denotes happiness. Cast iron denotes rust. So many of those people have got broken relationships that they have not tended to and they've carried to this stage of life, and it has so depressed them that they are existing physically. But there's no happiness, there's no peace, there's no joy in that life. So it's a cast iron life, not a golden year. And they wander around, they got pockets full of money, about 40 pounds around the waist, sumptuous eating, you see. And they wander around that are going to be happy for sure. And if they don't make them happy in Hawaii, they'll get a flight and go somewhere else. You see, you cannot avoid it, it is a spiritual mystery with people. You can't move to Alaska anywhere else. You take the relationship with you. How many know that? You know that's the only thing you take to heaven is relationships. I don't whether you take the bad ones or not, but you take them. You say, well, I'll tell you, we'll make up in heaven. Then there won't be no devil around to give me a bad time, make my temper come up. See, we get up to heaven, we're just gonna love, and while we're down here, we're gonna keep this thing going. Hallelujah. Okay, let's. The five effects of a broken relationship. Number one. This is the five effects of a broken relationship. This is what this is what it costs us when we have these silly things, see? Okay, number one is it creates blind spots. And stops wisdom. Stops wisdom. Now, when I first saw this and really began to understand it, I was a boxer in the army. And I was in the army, we boxed, you know, some of us. And the best way to win a boxing match, if you ever have occasion to box, is you get the other guy angry. And you get him mad at it. You break a relationship with him, only you don't break it. You don't get angry at him. You just get him taunted at you. And guess what happened? He gets so mad, he gets so mad, he starts swinging, and all you got to just be real cool because pretty soon you're gonna make a mistake and wah, right across your guide. And he hits the floor. He wrap. You just got in that blind spot. See, he there's a blind spot created out of a broken relationship that affects our judgment. Isn't that true? You can see, you can for another illustration, you can think of an automobile driving around the right hand road, see, for instance, you're driving along there and and you look in the mirror, look back, nothing, no cars nowhere. Bless God, you're gonna take a left turn and start to turn and beep where'd that car come from? Man. It was there all the time. How many know that? It was just in your blind spot, right? You just didn't see it. They're in between those two mirrors in a little spot where you can't see. Right? And we learned that, don't we? Broken relationships create those little spots. And there's dangers there that you don't see, brother. And boy, I tell you, when they begin to roll in, sometimes you don't get the beep, you just get the crash. You see. Stops wisdom. I had a fella come to my house a couple years ago. And he says, Leonard, he says, I cannot, for the life of me, understand why my children have changed so quickly. Everything was going great. And he says, all of a sudden, there just is a whole new spirit about them. They're in rebellion. They won't take advice, you know. And he tells me about the children. He had about a 12-year-old girl, about an eight-year-old boy. And so, beginning to really, you know, beginning to understand a little about broken relationships, I said, I don't want to talk about your children anymore. Tell me about some other things. Where you've been working, you know? Tell me about your wife. And nothing seemed to be there. And I says, uh, and then I says, Well, tell me about uh where you're working. He says, Well, I got a new job. I said, Oh, that's great. What about the old one? Or he says, uh, he says, that boss down there, he got to playing patty cake with one of the girls, and then, you know, I'm a Christian. I wouldn't put up with that. Man, I stood up for my Christian rights not to have that flaunted in front of me. He says, and we got a little problem. I just quit. I said, Well, did you work there about 12 years? He said, Yes. He said, I'm glad to get out. I says, hey, let me explain broken relationships. He said, What do you mean? I says, I think I found your discipline problem. And all he did was explain that the effect of that broken relationship begins to focus in on the children. The spirit of rebellion that he has begins to flow down through him to the children.

Three Hindrances: Hurts, Should‑Haves, Cover

Leonard 42:00

Wow, he says. I mean, I got to go clean that up. Do something guys, that's right. Unless you just want this thing to continue to grow and grow and grow. Stops wisdom. Unable to deal wisely in the affairs. In fact, as you'll see it in my counseling in the professional classes, like the builders and all these people, you'll begin to see people around 40 years to 45 years old, they'll begin to make bad judgments. I've had people come to me and say, What's wrong? I can't make good judgments anymore. I used to be real sharp. I could tell a con man from anywhere. More they would come and I would just be able to see them and but I can't do it anymore. They're conning me. They're getting to me. What's happening? I can't make good judgments like they used to. Once I understood broken relationships, I said, well, let's just stop worrying about that. Let's start talking. Tell me about what you've been doing lately. Let's back up a ways. And pretty soon I find it. There's one right there. Usually it's just one. One broken relationship, which is stopping your wisdom. And we begin to deal with it. Now, tomorrow night we'll deal with how to do these things. Second thing, well, let me give you the verse on that if you'd like to have the verse on. It's 1 John 2, 9, 10, 11. I'll just read it to you. It says, He that saith he is in the light and hateth his brothers in darkness, even until now. He that loveth his brother abideth in the light, and there is no occasion of stumbling in him. But he that hateth his brother, and that word hate, can be translated to be dislike. That's the word this there. His brother is in darkness and walketh in darkness, and knoweth not whether he goeth, because the darkness has blinded his eyes. See? And the trickery about broken relationships is it comes slowly. You see, the first few months it feels good. You dirty rat. You know, we in our family we had there was a family clock. My grandfather had a clock. An old clock, you could go down to a junk store and buy it for $65. But but my aunts got to fighting over that clock. And the one ended up with it who wasn't supposed to end up with it. Now there's at least three aunts. Now that's like 20 years ago. I remember as a kid this happened. Like about three aunts who still don't really talk to one another or flow over this silly old $65 clock. I can go down and replace it right now. Identical for $65. You can buy those old clocks by the dozen. You see? A broken relationship because of old problems, allowing it to destroy their everyday effectiveness. Okay. Second second thing we lose is that is prosperity. Is there any letters missing in that? What I don't hear. I. What letter is missing? The I? Say it again. What letter's missing? The I. Okay. If we can take that letter I out, it'll be prosperity, okay? That's the way spelled prosperity. That's a Christian way in a kingdom. Leave the I out, and you'll truly have prosperity. Hallelujah. Just threw that in there. Actually, I think I've missed spelled it. But the Lord says in 1 John, let me just put it this way here. 1 John 3 22. He said, That whatsoever we ask, we receive of him because we keep his commandments and do those things which are pleasing. In other words, we ask, we get. If I know God's things are conditional, see, if we keep his commandments. And what are his commandments? That we believe on him. That's a key word there. Believe and love one another. How do you love one another? Submit. But if I submit, they might see some things. Well, chances are they will. Prosperity, spiritual prosperity, is not achieved with broken relationships. That's one of the first things to leave. You can sit down at that altar and you can pray to the Lord until you're exhausted. Now the Lord maybe bless you a little, but you never will have the true meaning of the Lord dealing in your life until you deal with those relationships. Broken relationships destroy prosperity. Now, what is this little fella? Let me draw this picture, this little fella with his, this is his arms closed. He has no submission. Now, what's on the inside there? Let me just list a few of the things that might be in there. First of all, of course, we told you there was some different kinds of hurts. Then there is guilt about past behavior and bad acts and things that he doesn't want you to know about. How many know people talk in their dreams? Some people fear getting married because they might talk in their dreams and tell some things that's on the inside. Hallelujah. I don't want to go sleep around you. You might hear what's inside. And there is wrong motives and goals. I just got some things. I don't want you to really see what's in there, what I'm really after, brother. If I submit to you, you'll see, and I'll have to either give them up or face up or turn and run or something, you see. Or there may be a little uh hate and envy. Do you know that that one word, envy, is the probably the only baddie in terms of spiritual baddies that most people won't admit they they never have. Oh, I don't envy anybody. I've been jealous, yes, but I don't envy anybody. Oh, I've been mad, I've hated people, but I'd never envy. You see, because envy denotes I want what you got, and I want you to hurt while I'm taking it away from you. I want you to fall. In other words, it is a it is a vengeance. It's like there were two runners in this city, and they were in competition and they they ran from the city in the Olympics. One of them won, one lost. The little city built a big statue for the one who won. Yay, yay, yay, for their little boy. He won the gold medal. And the guy who lost, envy got in, see? And he got out there at night. When nobody was looking, he started chiseling that chad statue down. He's gonna make everything fall. Until one day it did. And one night it fell, and it fell on him killing. You know, envy does, you know, these things they come back home, don't they? You see? And but that's the that's interesting. That's one that's one thing that most people will never admit they ever have. We've got everything else but envy, see? Okay, fear, there's fear in there. And probably this is the toughest of all. There are basic weaknesses. You see, because we're told in our society to be strong. If you're a man, be strong and never give up. And don't turn down. And boy, you're strong. And if we've got weaknesses, we're inferior. Maybe we'll have a chance tomorrow night to talk a little about inferiority complexes. But that feeling of inferiority might come out. See, because I have to show you I'm strong, I'm good, I'm all these things. And if I open up my arm, you're going to see all that. That's exactly why that's number three in the self-counseling. Hallelujah, right? You open it up and all that garbage gets exposed. But guess what happens when it gets exposed? It starts coming out, doesn't it? We begin to, we begin to heal, let the Lord heal some of those hurts, get rid of some of that guilt, bad conduct, change the motives, eradicate some of the hate and envy, get rid of some of the fear, and face up to weaknesses that everybody is weak in something, and everybody is strong in something else. I learned this and I was a third grade. I thought I was the strongest guy in the world. I could beat anybody. How many know that there's always somebody stronger? I found him in the third grade. See? I learned that, principle early, see? There's always somebody more beautiful. Oh, I want to be beautiful for the Lord now. I want to show I can go up there and I want to have, I want to have, I want to have, be able to sing this melody out, and just the crowds will come and people will be saved and all these great things, you know. If I just had those things, you know. Oh. Hallelujah. God gives you a talent. You also got some weaknesses. Face up to the weaknesses. Find out what your talent is and develop your talent. Quit worrying about your weakness. But you can't do that unless you're in relationships. If you're like this by yourself, the fear of the discovery of the weaknesses will get you, you see. It is so, it is so much peace when people really begin to submit and do number three in it, you know, submit to one another in a field of war. There is such a peace that comes on them. All of sudden I can relax. You mean you're not going to reject me? Even though I got some of this garbage? No, brother, I'm not going to reject them. I'm going to love you. Well, I wish I'd known that ten years ago. Wouldn't have had to go through all this loneliness. You know, isn't it time we begin to kind of be honest about these things, you know? Just say, here it is. The Bible says it. Jesus says, I bring the kingdom to you. I bring it to you. Not when you die. You get it then too. But now, I want to get it inside you. Well, how am I going to get it inside you until you submit? Then that makes sense. Until you open up to somebody. One person. Not the whole crowd. I don't mean to get up here and say, okay, now, you know, I'm going to tell you all my bad faults. I'm going to tell you when I did this. I don't mean that. I mean, let the Lord give me one person to begin to really open up to and let him flow. You see, because 1 John says, fear is torment, doesn't it? Fear is torment. And perfect love casts out fear. How do you get perfect love? How do you get the love of the Father? And perfect love is the Lord, right? How do you get it inside you? First John also says a few verses before that were that perfect love casts out fear. Says the love of the Father is perfected in you when you do what? Love another person. How do you love another person? Submit. Open up. Say, here I am, brother. Good or worse, you know? Whatever. Number three. Thing you lose is health. This is probably the hottest thing in the medical world right now. Fact is, some of the leading people are saying that 90-some percent of all illnesses are emotionally oriented, psychosomatic oriented, if you like, are based

Five Effects: Blind Spots To Health

Leonard 54:40

upon broken relationships, either with self, with God, with other people. You see that tension that goes by that when I walk by that hall with that other fellow, I have a broken relationship, that thing I feel is affecting my body. I read a study that an expert said the other day about Nixon. They were worried about Nixon. They said, well, how could this man take all of this strife, these broken relationships, and hold on all of it? They couldn't understand how it could go for so long. And one of the doctors predicted, he says, it's going to hit his legs. That's his weakest part. All of that broken relationship, then the tension, the guilt, the anxiety from it is going to hit his legs because that's his weakest part. He had problems there before. And they have what they call target organs. So that all of this begins to go in on one organ and affects it. All this stuff that's on the inside, because it's still in there, you see, there's no way of escaping with allowing in Christian fellowship submitting. I don't just mean having a conspiracy with another guy, and you know, that's that's not what the Lord's talking about. Submission. And it eventually has maybe ulcers. How many know that stomach can be a target organ, can't it? Stomach. I got ulcers. Oh Lord, heal me. You go back out and three days later, I lost my healing. Lord, heal me again. Well, you know. The Lord says, Hey, go back and shape up some of the relationships, brother. Maybe that's the cause. See? And so we have this health thing, and we have heart attacks. You know, killing people. It isn't just what you eat, it's broken relationships and the effect of it, the unsteadiness of it. When we were giving a seminar the other day in West Texas, when we hit the section that I'm going to hit tomorrow night for you, I told the people, I said, I want you to go home. I don't want you to even talk to anybody. Because there are people here that's going to the first time in 20 years is going to get a good night's sleep. And you know, the next night I had more comments. I you're right. I slept all night. I haven't slept all night in years. I totally slept in peace. Why? We dealt with some of the hurts and things, you see. Now fourth thing is loneliness. It's a result of broken relationships. It's an effect of broken relationships. When people have broken relationships, it taints their personality, it injures their personality. Now, that little gal at the cash register, I love her. I'm, you know, in Christian love. But it's going to be hard for me to get love to her because I'm here and I'm not in Midland, and I think I'll pass Midland next time. See? Now, now there's a lot of folks that probably have that same attitude, see? That have stopped and talked to her and have the same thing. You know, she's a great person. Praise the Lord. Bless God, I'll pray for her, but I'm going to avoid her. Now, that's what happens to most of us when we have broken relations. That's a natural response, you see. God tells me to help her. I don't want you to misunderstand. I'm going to, you know, try to be a friend to her and so forth. But it is a natural thing to avoid people who have broken relationships and the effects upon their lives. It's very natural. All right, number five is it stops maturation. That means maturing. Stops us from maturing. We get caught in an age group. You know that? You know you actually get caught in an age group. If you have a broken relationship, if a person, standard one, as I'm going to tell you about this preacher's wife, from a preacher I counseled with in Montreat, North Carolina, about a year ago. He says, he said, Mr. Keene, he said, the Lord just told me that you, in fact, he probably was a 2,000 men. He just came up to me and says, You help me. This guy was about 50. He says, He says, God says you've got the answer to my problem. He says, I've got a wife. He says, I don't know what to do with it. Man, she's sick. And he began to describe for her. She had all kinds of internal sicknesses and head problems. She'd had back operations and all kinds of things for 25 years. He'd been married to her, raised a family, Methodist minister, had different churches. He says, we've had her to everybody. We've had her to Catherine Kuhnman, we've had her to Hora Roberts. She's been healed, unhealed, sick. He said, that's a mess. You know? And he said, My kids are fouled up. He says, What's wrong? He said, I've prayed, I've sought the Lord, I've received the baptism. She's received the baptism of the Holy Spirit. What's wrong? Maybe number five. So maybe she got caught. And he told me a little bit, I says, tell me a little bit about her. She wasn't even there. She was home in Ohio or wherever she was at. And I and I just and I could just see it. I says, Does she take her teddy bear to bed with her? He said, How do you know that? How do you know she had one? I said, She just got caught in a young age group. Part of her got caught there. He says, How? I says, Well, did her parents neglect her? Abandon her? Leave her? He said, Well, he said they were missionaries. They went to Africa for two years and they left her with some Christian brothers, you know, when she was about nine, I believe he said. I said, There it is, right there. She didn't understand the absence. And to her, that was a broken relationship. That was an injury to her. And she can't get out of that age bank. He says, you know, come to think of it, she has pictures and she has little cutout dolls, and she hides them. She won't let anybody. And she even talks like a baby sometimes, see? She can't get out of that. He says it's got worse over the years. And I spent a couple of hours showing him how to minister to him. I said, if you have any problems, call me. It doesn't work or something, you know. Call me. Maybe the Lord will show us something. He never has called me. I assumed that something happened. But we get caught in these age groups. So we cannot get out of that age group. Okay. Those are the five effects of broken relationships. Now, let's take a look at how you cause them. You say, well, haven't you told me all the causes? No, we haven't told you all the causes. You really get dingy when you start answering your own questions and telling yourself jokes you haven't heard before. That's when you're dingy. Oh, that thing's funny looking. I think that must be like cold weather. Five causes of broken relationships. Number one is wrongful acts. What is wrongful acts? What causes it? Well, it's basically the Ten Commandments. Basically the Ten Commandments. Let me just list them for you real quick. Number one, basically Ten Commandments is no other God. This is my shorthand. I can't quote the whole one and I don't intend to because you don't really need to. Number two is no image. You know, no boats and things like that. And number three is God's name in vain. Anyone know what a 36 Ford is? 1936 Ford? Oh, I love 1936 Fords. Love them. I'll tell you, it could be a number two real easy for me. 1930. In fact, I found one. A super one. Neat one. One I have been looking for. You see, that's when I was born, 1936. I found one up there and it was perfect. 26,000 miles. 26,800 and some miles. And this guy Jewed him down to the right price. And I said, okay, I'm going to get it. And the Lord says, you can't have it. So wait a minute. I gotta have it. You see? I can get the money. I gotta have it. And the Lord says, you remember I taught some of you on the life test? And the life test says, no, you can't have it. Now you go get it if you want. But you're gonna be throwing away some things. And you're gonna be beginning to break the relationship between you and I. I said, really, Lord, over a silly old 36 Ford? Yep. You gotta give it up. Well, maybe, maybe if if I just give it up for a while and I call that guy and says, just hold it a while, let's see what the Lord has changed his mind. I said, No, no, just give it up. Will you promise me a better one? I ain't promise you nothing. Just give it up. Oh, brother. I thought I'd throw that in there for you, just in case you're if you got a 36 Ford that you're worried about, give it up.

Davis 1:04:31

Well, thanks for listening to the first segment of the broken relationship series. The rest of the series will come out over the next few episodes, but for now, keep living with balance and leading with purpose. See you next time.