S1E04: Will You Marry Me In Jannah?

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A widow received a marriage proposal from a wealthy governor. She turned him down. The reason she gave is one of the most beautiful love stories you'll ever hear, and it did happen. This is a real life story.

In this episode, you will learn:

• Why true love before marriage might not be what you think it is
• The difference between falling for a fairytale vs. realistic potential
• How to filter a man the way society never taught you to
  
  

🧭 WHY YOU FOLLOW THIS PODCAST:

Because you deserve to be a Marriagineer - a Muslim woman who reverse-engineers a divorce-proof, happy, and healthy marriage that leads to Jannah, in shā Allāh, following Marriage.MBA's 8-Step Marriage Roadmap.

So one day, you can ask your future co-founder, your future husband:
"Will you marry me in Jannah?"

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All 20 True-Love Skills. One step-by-step roadmap. Built for a 20-year-old single Muslim woman who wants to divorce-proof her future marriage - because a solid pre-marriage education reduces your chance of divorce by 30%.

Watch the videobook, listen to the audiobook on the Marriage.MBA app, or flip through the hardcover as you sip your green tea. For the best results, do all three.

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Transcript

Sharif Faizullah 0:00

What if every 20-year-old Muslim woman knew how to avoid marrying Mr. Rong? For you to say, I have tasted true love, excuse me, have you gone through the test that is called marriage? That is a promise of marriage.mba where we will help you divorce-proof at 20 and live happily ever hereafter, inshallah. She says, Thank you so much for your marriage proposal, but I cannot marry you because I am already engaged to marry my husband in Jannah.

SPEAKER_01 0:32

It's just so beautiful, Swanna. Genuinely, I was so moved by that. This is a cute little heartwarming real love story. You get to choose where you want to go from here.

Sharif Faizullah 0:41

If you want a happily ever hereafter story like that, if you want a marriage that leads to Jannah, then welcome. So the wife came up to him and said, You know, all those years ago, when you came to me asking for my hand in marriage, and I said yes, I want you to ask Allah for my hand in Jannah again. I want to be your wife in Jannah. So the husband says, Of course, my love, and soon after he takes his last breath and he passes away. The wife mourns his loss, missing his presence and love. After a while, because she is known for her knowledge and wisdom, she receives a marriage proposal from the governor at the time, a man with wealth and status. But she says, you know, thank you so much for your marriage proposal. But I heard Rasulullah said that in Jannah, a woman will be with the last of her husbands. So I cannot marry you because I am already engaged to marry my husband in Jannah. And that is a true love story of Abu Daruda and Umm Daruda, two companions of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. If you want a happily ever hereafter story like that, if you want a marriage that leads to Jannah, if you want to divorce-proof your future marriage, then welcome. So here's a question I want to ask you. What if every 20-year-old Muslim woman knew how to avoid marrying Mr. Rong? Think about it. In the entire world right now, there are 15 to 17 million 20-year-old Muslim women. What if they all knew this? Then we will have marriage iners. Who's a marriage junior? It's someone who knows how to reverse-engineer a healthy marriage that leads to Jannah. And that is a promise of marriage.mba, where we will help you divorce-proof at 20 and live happily ever hereafter, inshaAllah. So that one day, when you get married in the future, you can ask your future co-founder, your future husband, will you marry me in Jannah? And everything I'm going to teach you, inshallah, it's based on these three questions. What does research say? What does Islam say? And what does real life say?

SPEAKER_01 3:23

The chapter includes a beautiful story. Do you think that in today's world with today's men it is possible to find a love like that?

Sharif Faizullah 3:32

Not only is it possible, I think it's probable and it's very likely if you follow these eight steps, inshallah. And if you are a child of divorce or you haven't seen good examples of marriages, I would totally understand why you would be like, it's kind of difficult to believe it sounds like fairy tale. But you know, when you read the descriptions of Jannah in the Quran, it does sound like that. It's like, wow. So now imagine how much more diligently we would go through this marriage process if we ask, do I see this guy as a good father for our future children? But then you keep growing, you don't just grow old, but you go beyond this life and you say, Do I see myself living with this guy forever in Jannah? Growing up with so much, you know, Hollywood and Bollywood and romance and Disney and everything, we all crave that. Men also crave that by the way. I'm telling you, as a man, I crave that. When a woman said, No, I don't want that, like really, you don't want that, or because you haven't seen that example, so you don't think it's possible. It's an old fable I heard. This fox or some animal going down and then they're like down here, they're jumping, they're jumping. They can't reach the grape, they're like, oh, forget it. These are sour grapes anyway. So maybe you just need a stool or a ladder against a tree. So let this eight-step of marriage MBA be the ladder so you can reach the grape and actually make that a reality. Even if you have some type of disbelief, what will you lose if you just go through this process with that high ambition to go to Jannah? That's the ultimate success anyway. So, do you want to enjoy that ultimate success with your life partner, with your co-founder, with your future husband?

SPEAKER_01 5:00

You've given this example of your own marriage. So you guys have been through some struggles, and now you think you're a good match. So, how do you balance that? How do you make sure that you're not falling for somebody's potential? And you're not just falling for the fairy tale, but you actually see it in them. Yes, it's potential, but it's realistic potential.

Sharif Faizullah 5:20

Yeah, so the proof is in the pudding, as they say. You gotta look for proof. You believe and you trust what the guy says. You also verify. So I'll give you an example of let's say if a guy who prays five times a day is important to you, and the guy just sleeps through fajr, maybe when he wakes up and he doesn't make up his prayer. The guy is not telling the truth. So you have to look for those evidences. And you wanna be able to marry the guy just the way he is. So basically, yes, do we look for potential someone who is working towards something? Yeah, but that's a proof. Someone who's actually working hard in his education, in his current profession, they're actually working on towards something. That's proof. In your mind, you have like idea, hey, it is our destination. So I think you have to look for evidences and proof. That's how you know, and be okay. What if he doesn't change? Can I be okay with this? If you can answer yes, then I think that it's worth moving forward. As long as he's not being lazy, sitting on his butt, sleeping until 12 p.m., you know that he's actually striving, he's putting an effort, he's putting his best foot out there, then yeah. After you go through all this process of knowing the guy, verifying, inshaAllah, there is a checklist at the end. I shared with you guys earlier. Is he the one checklist? That checklist doesn't have how much money he makes. You'll see that checklist is not materialistic. Sometimes the way we filter a guy, it's very surface level. But that checklist will actually tell you if the guy is someone who you will be able to have a healthy, long-lasting marriage, that will lead to Jannah inshallah. Do you see that? Like those are two different filtration systems. So the way society filters a guy, very surface level. The way I want you to filter a guy is go deeper, go at the end of this life, and go beyond this life, inshallah.

SPEAKER_01 6:58

Inshallah. No, that's beautiful, and I definitely agree. You're telling us that like we can only experience true love after marriage. How do you know if he's the one then?

Sharif Faizullah 7:08

You go through is he the one checklist. That's why that checklist exists. If you are able to answer those 17 questions with a check or a check plus, you're good to go. Now I'll be like, oh, there are some check minuses, then go back and fill in those gaps. But if there's a lot of checks and check pluses, that's amazing. Like that's exactly what you're looking for. Now, there is a chapter at the end of this book called How to Taste True Love. Wait till the end, inshallah, you will know exactly how to taste that true love. But I'll give you just one thing that someone who claims to have tasted true love before marriage, they have a hormonal delusion. Because they haven't gone through the test of marriage yet. So for you to say, I have tasted true love, um, excuse me, have you gone through the test that is called marriage? You haven't even entered the classroom, entered the test room, and you're telling me that you have already passed, it doesn't make sense. And I'll tell you exactly why. This is something that I grew up with, you know, the true love Romeo and Juliet type of thing, but like they haven't gotten married yet. I wonder if Romeo and Juliet would have made it if they got married. They're fictional characters, but you get the idea. So I want you guys to separate the romance, what we see before marriage, and after marriage. True love, we have to define that. I don't want you guys to fall in love. I'll show you guys how to rise in love, inshallah. True love is different than what we think. So this is how it goes. During courtship, when you get to know him, he is at his best. Ooh, gentlemen, beautiful. But then marriage will bring out the rest. Some of these red flags will stare you right in the face, but you won't notice them. You know why? Because oh boy, everything about him is so cute. It would be very sad if you are in a situation where you're oblivious to his red flags that are obvious, but then he ends up revealing his true abusive self after marriage. Not on my watch, inshallah.