When Kendall’s Story Became Her Mirror

What happens when the podcast that’s helping you make sense of your DNA surprise starts to sound a little too familiar?

For many listeners, Family Twist is more than a podcast, it’s a lifeline. That’s exactly how it felt for Jai, whose own DNA discovery journey unfolded side by side with the stories she was hearing from Corey and Kendall. As an adoptee navigating identity, belonging, and the shock of hidden truths, Jai found comfort and courage in Kendall’s openness about rejection, reconnection, and redefining family.

This episode is for anyone who has listened to a story that suddenly felt like their own. Jai reminds us that healing doesn’t just happen through discovery, it happens through connection.

What Listeners Will Gain

1. A mirror for your own journey.

Jai’s story echoes the emotions so many of us face: curiosity, grief, hope, and the courage to seek truth even when it hurts.

2. A lesson in empathy and resilience.

She talks candidly about how Kendall’s story gave her language for emotions she didn’t yet know how to name and how compassion builds bridges even between strangers.

3. A reminder that you’re not alone.

Through podcasts, online communities, and real-life connections, Jai found strength in realizing that others have walked this road and survived it.

Transcript

Listener DNA surprise story that mirrors Kendall’s

Corey 0:00

Hey everybody, welcome back to Family Twist. It's Corey here. You know, every so often we meet someone who doesn't just listen to Family Twist, they live it. Our guest today, Jay, found herself walking a path that felt nearly parallel to so many of the stories we've shared here, including Kendall's. In fact, she started listening to this podcast right in the middle of her own DNA discovery journey, trying to make sense of what it all meant, how to move forward, and who she was becoming in the process. Jade told us that hearing Kendall talk about his experiences, the hope, the rejection, the messy middle, helped her feel less alone. And that's what this space is all about. Whether you're an Adopte D, donor conceived, or an NPE discovering a not parent-expected twist, these stories remind us that healing can happen through connection. So today, we're turning the mic toward Jay's journey. One that unfolds side by side with Family Twist itself. Hey Jay, welcome to the Family Twist Podcast. Thank you for having me. Absolutely. We're excited to have you because we don't know too much about your story, but that's okay. You reached out to us, and we absolutely love it when people reach out. It gives us such a good feeling, you know. So, um, how did you discover us?

Jai 1:19

So I grew up without my dad. And my whole life, you know, I had pictures of him like when I was born and things of that nature. And when I was uh very young child, about two or three, I guess my mom and him had some type of a falling out, and then nobody ever heard from him again. So I kind of always grew up with this emptiness and not knowing half of my identity and where I came from, and it was troublesome. I feel like I struggled with that in life. And fast forward, I'm 44, and actually, this is very fresh and new because I just kind of got developing information. So I found you guys because I wanted to kind of mentally prepare myself and just hear stories of other people that have kind of been in the same place, and I thought it would be a good thing to listen to other stories. Started by looking at our iHeartRadio and just looking at lists of stories of people trying to find their family, and I came across you all, and I started listening, and it kind of just captured me, you know, from episode one when I heard Kendall's story. And you know, so I have listened right about now. I am at the spot where you guys are introducing the horror heels uh okay part. So that's where I'm at right now. So I still have a ways to go.

Deciding to take an Ancestry DNA test

Kendall 3:00

Well, that's funny because yesterday we celebrated the first anniversary, first birthday for horror heels was yesterday.

Jai 3:10

Oh, okay.

Kendall 3:11

I know.

Jai 3:12

So that's where I started, and that's how I found you all.

Kendall 3:15

That's so cool.

Corey 3:16

And so what was the final like, okay, I'm pulling the trigger, I'm gonna take a DNA test? What was that decision like?

Finding out her father died and learning how he lived

Jai 3:24

I just said, you know, I don't want to continue not knowing. I felt like it was kind of affecting me emotionally, really, it was kind of really weighing on me. I also would watch this show on TLC, I think it's called Lost Loved Ones. And you know, that was also impacting, you know. You saw the story. So I said, you know what? It also was that Amazon had this huge sale on Ancestry, they were like 50% off. I'm like, all right, now's the time to buy it. So I bought it and it came with a three-month subscription. But even when I bought it, it sat on my ottoman probably over a month before I did it because I still felt like I wasn't ready. It sat there, you know. My son also I have an 18-year-old son, he was graduating, so I wanted to wait for that time to pass, wait till he graduated, so that I would be emotionally available basically for him. So shortly after, you know, did it probably three weeks before he graduated because I knew it was gonna take some time for the results to arrive. So yeah, so then I got the results from Ancestry, and it was probably a week after he graduated, so timing was perfect. And when I got the results, I was amazed at how much because my mom is Puerto Rican and my dad was Mexican, and the plethora I mean, of ancestry. I mean, I had like African descendants, Brazilian, so many different. I even had like Ascanazi Chu in there, and I'm like, wow, it was just it was crazy. When it came to the matches, though, there was not anyone on my mother's side, there was a lot, but I knew everyone on that side. But on my dad's side, there was very little to go on when I separated the DNA, and there was three third cousins, and I'm like, man, these people are not gonna know who I am, right? So I kind of was very I got down a little bit. I said, man, I feel like I did all this for nothing because I don't know if I don't think I'm gonna find anything. And then I kept listening to the podcast while this week is going on, and there was, I can't remember exactly which episode it was, but there was an episode where this woman, like, she said she just messaged anyone in her first contacts, like her first 10 contacts or something, and she ended up getting information back from one of them. So I said, you know, it's not gonna hurt. Let me go on there, let me do the first three cousins that are on there. Sent the message, kind of forgot about it. And as I was at work, I received a message. The her name, her name was Maria, and I thought the last name was kind of odd, but I said, Oh, well, you know, people get married, who knows, you know. So she sent me a message back a week later, and I was at work, and I'm like, Oh my goodness, should I open it? Yeah, I'm like, let me wait till break time. So I went to break, I went outside at lunch and I opened it. And she said, Oh, she said, hello. She said, I'm so happy you found us. She said, Your uncle would like to speak to you. Now, before all of this happened, I had started digging into ancestry. You have a plethora of information that you can start looking through. And I did have some information on my dad, like where he was born, I had his social security number, I had all of this information that was on my birth certificate. And I had found a document with his information, but his name is so common. His name was Jose Martinez, so it's like there's a million of them out there. And I did find a document, it was a death certificate, and it said Connecticut, which was where I was born. I'm not gonna jump to conclusions yet because his name is so common, it could be anyone out there, and so I kept digging. So then I ended up finding another document. My mom had told me his mother's maiden name, which was Moreno. And I found that her another document's almost identical, but it had his mother's name on there. So I said, Oh wow, I think this is him. I think he has passed. So I kind of already had that in my mind. So she told me your uncle would like to speak to you. So I said, Great, you know, it must be his brother. That same day, I was leaving work at about 3 p.m. and I had told her, Well, this is my number, and have him call me after 3 p.m. So he called me and he told me that my dad had passed. You know, my dad was Mexican, but he really loved the Puerto Rican culture, and I found out that he was living in Puerto Rico that whole time that I grew up. And what happened was is that he worked in hospital and he contracted hepatitis C. They tried to help him, and it just really dug into his liver. So at that point, he moved with his brother to Chicago, Illinois. They tried to help him there. They tried to do blood transfusions, and it just got to the point where they put him on a list for a new liver, but he just didn't make it, it was too late. So he passed away. So, you know, it's been I've had my ups, I've had my downs. I'm still kind of processing it because it's very hard to kind of swallow because you always wanted to meet this person, and their family can tell you as much as they can, but it's still very hard, it's still very hard to accept. And you know, his family, his brother lives in Texas, so he lives in San Antonio, Texas, and all of the rest of his family, my dad's side of the family, his brothers, and everyone else lives in Mexico. Wow, and they've all been very warm and they've all been very nice, but it's still hard because I have to travel so far. Right. I've talked to a lot of them on video chat, and you feel like you've lost so much time to get to know them because they're they're such an older, you know, they're so older that you know it's like some are in their upper 70s, you know. So it's really sad. You've seen your and their whole life kind of go by.

Kendall 10:55

Did you find out whether your father has other children?

Jai 10:59

So, according to the family, and that's kind of another reason why I did hit the ancestry, because I was hoping to find a sibling out there somewhere. My mom was 37 when I was born, and my dad was 23. Wow. So I was hoping, I said, Well, you know, I was his first child. Maybe he had other children out there, you know, and his family doesn't believe he has any other children. I'm still holding out hope that there still might be one out there. Yeah. You know, I feel like he kind of lived a very private life because I don't get the sense that they know a lot about what his life was like because they were in two totally different places. Right. I know the family is a very close-knit family, and I feel like if he had me, and from what I hear, my grandfather, who is also past, was very upset at the fact that he had a child and he didn't stick around for that child. These, you know, I was kind of struggling with, okay, well, what happened here? How did I lose contact with my dad? Like, you know, sometimes women can be scorned and keep their kids away from there, you know. And then I just was struggling with that, you know, because my dad's side of the family is telling me my mom didn't let him see me, and my mom's telling me no, he's the one who didn't just stop showing up. So then I said, All right, I grew up in a home where I have two older sisters, you know, one month, my sister's this past now, but I have a sister who's seven years older than me. And I said, you know what? I'm gonna call my sister because she's gonna give it to me straight. She's not gonna sugarcoat anything, and she's gonna tell me how it is, because that's just the person she is, and she's very religious, and so I knew I could trust her word, and so I called her and I said, Hey, I'm going through this, and I kind of didn't, I'm kind of very quiet myself. I kind of keep things to myself too. So I hadn't really told my sister that I was doing all of this. And I explained to her, I did the test, this is what I got back, and she said to me, and I said, What happened? What can you remember? Because at that point, if I'm around two or three, my sister's like nine or ten. So I said, What do you remember? And she's like, Well, I remember, I remember that I think your dad cheated on mom, and that's how they separated. She said, But mom was very mom wanted you to have a dad, mom wanted him to be around. And there was an agreement where your dad would come see you at a family friend's home, and my mom would drop you off, your dad would go see you and spend time with you, and then you know, she'd pick you up. And I said, Okay. And she said, but mom never kept you away from your dad, she always was willing and wanted you to see him, and he just stopped showing up. And after like the third time of him not showing up, mom kind of just was very upset, very sad, you know, because my two older sisters have the same dad, and he was always very involved. So, yeah, so that's what I got. I said, Man, I think I've been a little hard on, you know, thinking about my mom being the one that's you know not letting me see him and this whole thing started. I grew up in Southbridge, Massachusetts, which is probably 30 minutes from where I am now. And I lived there my whole life. So if he wanted to find me, he would have. I don't know if other things in life inhibited him from doing that, but I don't want to make any assumptions because I don't know. But nobody can keep me away from my son. Yeah, I'll go to the ends of the earth for that kid, but you know, I'll never let anybody take him away from me. So yeah, it's kind of hard to understand. Yeah.

Corey 15:28

So, Jay, you know, we talk about nature and nurture on the show a lot, and you know, Connecticut, Massachusetts, not super close to Mexico, definitely not super close to Puerto Rico. But you mentioned that your dad was really taken with Puerto Rican culture. What is your relationship like with your heritage?

Jai 15:46

I'm very deep in my roots. I didn't grow up there, I was born here, but my mom was very good at keeping the culture in the home. And I am very deep in my roots. I listen to a lot, and the craziness is when I talk to his family, we're into a lot of the same music thing. Where I can see where I get when I talk to his side of the family, I can see where I get a lot of, you know, like the women are very strong. They're very strong, independent women, and my mom is as well. But I can see both of those things. I can see where I get a lot of the strongness, just being independent at a very early age. I guess my dad was that way too. He was just out of the house at a very young age. He came to the United States when he was around 20 and became a citizen and just, you know, worked. And I, you know, and as far as is that, yeah, my mom she always spoke just Spanish to me growing up because I got a lot of English from my sisters. They were older and they always spoke English, but my mom was very adamant about me speaking Spanish to her just for me to be able to learn the language, so yeah, the I can see both of those things. I can see the nature and I can see the nurture, definitely, in both aspects.

Nature and nurture: Mexican and Puerto Rican roots and meeting her dad’s family

Corey 17:14

So digging deeper into your roots, are you planning on some trips to Mexico? And are there things there that you want to experience?

Jai 17:21

I think it has to happen. I think I might go to Texas first just because it's easier. Right. You know, my uncle has been very warm. He's been, you know, he's like, You have a home here anytime you want to come to visit. I think I'll feel closer to knowing my dad, meeting him in person, because I feel like they're I look like that uncle the most. You know, like when I look at his pictures when he was younger, I'm like, wow, I can see where I got some of my, you know, my eyes are like the biggest thing that they're kind of like, you know, those Mexican eyes. You know what I mean? Like it's I see myself in him a lot as as he was, you know. If you look at pictures of him at my age now, we look very similar. I could almost look like his daughter. And I know, Pendle, I just have to say what a great supporter you have sitting next to you. Absolutely. Thank you. I said, you know, when I heard your story, I said, wow, this he's got the best partner out there because he's just oh he just seems so supportive. I know your story, and I don't know if you have yet to speak to your mom because I'm still not deep into the into the spoiler alert. Yeah. So, you know, I'm not here to judge anyone, but it's just so hard as a mother to me to try to understand that there can't even be a little bit of thought on how Kendall feels in that situation, yeah. You know, and you've been blessed because I know you have siblings that are there for you, and you have your dad and your sisters, and all of those things, and so you got a lot out of your journey, I feel, with as far as support and love and all of those things, but truly hope that she comes around because I just don't understand it. I know I still don't understand it.

Kendall 19:29

I know I'm not we're not parents, but I know myself. I just feel like if somebody made me, and my mother was made to give me up, if somebody made me give up a child at 15 years old, which you know, I try not to judge my both sets of grandparents for making that happen. But, you know, if I found that child 47 years later, I wouldn't have been able to go to sleep that night without speaking. You know what I mean? Like that's just how. I'm wired. And I think that is a credit to my adoptive parents because they were so good to me and I was so close to them, you know, that it's just hard for me to imagine that a parent wouldn't want, you know, like you said, nothing would separate you from your son, you know. And yeah, I can't understand her side of the equation very much, but you know, it is what it is.

Jai 20:27

Yeah. I mean, you can't let it affect you, even though it will a little bit, but you kind of have to focus on the positive side of things and all the warmth you've gotten from the people that are accepting of you. So yeah, no, that's great. That's great.

Kendall 20:42

Even my dad's former wife, who is the mother of two of my half siblings, even she, when she met me the first time, she hugged me and said, Oh, honey, you were the baby that we wish we could have found. You know what I mean? Like it just made me so I was like, and we're so close with her and her family that Corey and I get invited to her family's Christmas party every year. And when we go, we show up, and obviously I'm not related to these people, right? Except my brother and sister, but the cousins treat me just like I was always there, and you know, they're really good to us, and you're right, the positives definitely outweigh anything, you know, that has been not negative, but yeah, mediocre.

Corey 21:33

So I'm always trying to think of ways like what is it gonna take? Like, what is it? Is it the right letter? Is there, you know, is it for her to like to come around, you know? So I'm always thinking about that.

Jai 21:44

It's just very hard for me to understand. Is it like, is there a secret? Does her husband know about you?

Kendall 21:50

He does, but the problem I hear in the family is that her husband, they live all around his family, and he's from a huge family. I think he might be one of 12 or 13 kids, and supposedly the family doesn't know about me. You know what I mean? Like he knows, but I don't think she's ever told, you know, people in that family.

Corey 22:17

So now I would be shocked if they don't know now, just because of because of the podcast. There's been, yeah, I mean, we've been we've had some, you know, some controversial, you know, stuff happen with within you know because of the podcast. And so I would imagine somebody would have let something slip, and just something like that, you know, not that all families are super gossipy, but when you he, you know, when like that kind of nugget comes out, you're probably gonna talk about it.

Kendall 22:41

Well, right. I mean, people know that she gave birth to my sister when she was 16. So I mean, thinking that oh my gosh, there was a child before, right? You know, I'm I'm sure there's some, you know, there was shame associated with that. I get that.

Jai 22:58

I get that time I you know, we're living in different times, so right, you know, you have to give that a little bit of understanding, but it's just you know you have this child out there, and you know, understandably, it probably was a very hard thing for her to put you up for adoption, but uh you know, I just it I feel like if she did, it must take a whole weight off of her shoulders, too. I mean, you're living with this secret, basically. The thought of not knowing, you know what I mean? Giving up a child, which can be a very great gift to others, you know, which it sounds like it was your adoptive family was wonderful and did the most they could and really enjoyed you as a child, yeah. So it was a gift to them, but you still, as a mom, have this longing your whole life to know whether that child had a good outcome, you know, which she probably knows that now because she has children that have contact with you. So maybe that was enough for her.

DNA discovery while people of color are under attack

Kendall 24:11

But what I thought though, and and I didn't want to use this part of my story as leverage, but I actually remember asking my sisters, her her daughters, I said, Does she know that my adoptive parents died so young? And because to me, like that would be one more thing that would be like, Oh my gosh, you know, like, but she they told me that she does know and that she's glad that I had a great time with them while they were there, but that's you know what I mean. I just again not the way I'm built. Like for me, that would pull at my heartstrings to think, oh my gosh, the child that I gave up lost both of his adoptive parents by the time he was 17.

Jai 25:00

You know, like I gave him up, and you know, he had these wonderful parents, but let me scoop in and have this chance to support him, you know, now that he doesn't have these parents that raised him. Yeah, yeah, I do.

Corey 25:14

Well, I mean, you know, we know people that mentally are okay with their head being in the sand, you know. I've got them on in my family too, and it's frustrating, but it's like, well, if that's the way you gotta be to get through the day, then yeah, so be it. And you know, ours is not a political show, but because this is happening, you know, concurrently, Jay, this is all very, very fresh in your journey. How is the current climate in this country and people of color being targeted affecting your the mental part of your journey of you know, discovering your family?

Jai 25:50

You know, I I grew up in a home where everyone was accepted into our home. It didn't matter what color you were, what your sexual orientation was, and those things bother me so much that I just try to focus on the positive. I just try to think there is a lot of that out there. I just don't want to be part of it. I just want people to love each other. They all come from the same place, we all come from the same creator. Let's stop being so harsh to each other, let's stop treating each other so differently because at the end of the day, we are all the same. We are all the same, yeah. And you know, there's you talked about also family is not always blood, right? I grew up with a very kind of a depressed teen, you know, kind of a depressed teen, and and I had this just great, great friends that were always there for me growing up, and they're like my family more than my family, you know what I mean? And it is so nice to be able to have that. I mean, I think they got me through a lot of big obstacles like getting my license and getting my job, and just giving me this example to go out there and get it, you know what I mean? And you know, love is love, and it doesn't matter where it comes from, you know what I mean?

Corey 27:23

Yeah, absolutely. So, Jay, we've been asking all of our guests the same question recently, and the answers are fascinating. But uh, when you were doing your research and kind of really digging into your journey, is there a musical artist or a song that would kind of like always be playing for you? Um like if you yes, like if when you're like deep in the feelings of you know, either frustration of like I can't find what I'm looking for, or I'm determined enough doing my research. Is there an artist that's like a little bit of a crutch for you? Like, oh man, when I'm feeling like this, I really need to turn such and such on.

Jai 27:59

I really like fun. It's a song by Fun that's called Carry On.

Corey 28:04

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Jai 28:05

Yeah, that is a really impactful song for me when I'm kind of feeling a little low or feeling, you know, like I need some. So I I that's you know, it's I I used to listen to that album with my son when we'd drive up. We we stayed in New Hampshire, which I saw a picture of you guys where I were on Hampton Beach on their podcast. Yeah, and we went up to Hampton Beach for 10 years with my son every 4th of July week for 10 years, and we still go every once in a while, and we'd listen to that fun album the whole way up there, you know, like every point we drove up. But yes, that song would it just yeah, does things for me.

Corey 28:50

Yeah. Well, you know, we know you're uh in the early stages of your journey, and so we we really appreciate your bravery of coming on the show as you're listening to episodes. If there's a guest that you really relate to that we could put you in touch with if you were to communicate, just anything as you're going through the journey. This is not the end of our relationship with you, it's just the beginning. So we're here, reach out, definitely, definitely. And it's a roller coaster. I mean, uh it's great to hear that you're having so much positivity right now, Jay. You just gotta stay on the ride, you know.

Jai 29:22

Yeah, yeah, that's it. That's it. Just keep it moving.

Corey 29:26

That's right. Awesome. Well, please uh keep us up to date with what's happening in your journey, and thank you again. I think it's gonna help some people.

Jai 29:34

Yes, definitely. And you know, I just wanted to express my gratitude and you know, thank you for having me. It was nice to tell my story, and you guys kind of came along with me from the start to the beginning and helped me kind of, you know, I think it did help me process my feelings because I had just heard so many stories.

Corey 29:53

So yeah, thank you for that. What we love most about Jay's story is how intertwined it became with ours. She wasn't just a listener, she was a traveler on the same road. The same late-night Google searches, the same DNA surprises, the same ache of wondering why, and maybe most importantly, the same resilience to keep looking for truth. Hearing her talk about how Kendall's openness helped her through the hardest moments hit me right in the heart. It's proof that these conversations matter. That when one person shares their story, it can light the way for someone else who's stumbling through the dark. Jackie. Thank you so much for sharing your heart and reminding us that we're all part of this community of seekers, healers, and truth tellers. And to everyone listening, if Family Twist has helped you through your own discovery, we'd love to hear from you. Because at the end of the day, our stories may start in different places, but they twist together in ways that keep surprising us. Until next time, remember, Family Secrets are the ultimate plot twist. The Family Twist Podcast is presented by Sab Waffer Marketing Communications and produced by Halvin Howley the Cavage LLC.