A DNA Test, a Family Secret, and the Birth of DNAngels

What would you do if a simple DNA test revealed that the man you believed was your father wasn’t your biological parent?

In this episode of Family Twist, Corey and Kendall sit down with Laura Olmsted, founder of DNAngels, to talk about the moment a family history project turned into a life-changing DNA discovery. What began as a curiosity-driven test while building a genealogy scrapbook for her grandchildren quickly unraveled everything Laura thought she knew about her identity.

Laura shares the emotional journey of uncovering the truth about her biological father, confronting long-held family secrets, and learning that the answers sometimes come too late. But from that painful discovery came something remarkable. Determined to help others navigate the same confusing and emotional terrain, Laura founded DNAngels, a nonprofit that helps adoptees, NPEs, donor-conceived people, and others identify their biological families through genetic genealogy.

Today, DNAngels has helped solve thousands of cases around the world, reuniting people with their biological relatives and helping many finally understand where they come from.

Laura also shares practical insights about the DNA search process, why messaging your DNA matches matters more than you might think, and the steps people should take before beginning a search.

For anyone who has taken a DNA test and found unexpected results, this conversation offers both perspective and hope.

Learn more about DNAngels:
https://www.dnangels.org

About Laura Olmsted

Laura Olmsted is a world-renowned genetic genealogist and the Founder and Executive Director of DNAngels, a nonprofit organization dedicated to reuniting individuals with their biological families through the power of DNA. Since launching DNAngels in 2019, Laura has led the organization to remarkable success, with over 7,000 cases solved to date and thousands more people receiving answers about their origins.

Laura’s passion for genealogy began as a family project inspired by her Aunt Shirley. While creating a heritage book for her grandchildren, she took a DNA test and discovered a life-altering truth: the man she believed to be her father was not her biological parent. Determined to uncover her origins, Laura immersed herself in genetic genealogy. Within two weeks, she identified her biological father, gaining firsthand insight into the emotional complexities faced by adoptees, NPEs, and donor-conceived individuals.

That experience ultimately led her to create DNAngels, an organization that now helps people around the world uncover the truth about their biological families.

Topics in this episode

DNA surprise
 NPE (Not Parent Expected) discovery
 Genetic genealogy
 Adoptee searches
 DNA matches and family secrets
 Finding biological parents
 DNAngels nonprofit
 Identity and family history

Transcript

The DNA Test That Revealed a Family Secret

Corey 0:00

Hey everyone, this is Corey. Before we get into today's episode, I want to say something about the person you're about to hear from. If you've spent any time in the DNA surprise, adopteee, or donor-conceived communities, there's a very good chance you've heard the name DNA Angels. And if you've heard that name, then you've probably heard about the woman behind it, Laura Olstead. Laura is a genetic genealogist who has helped thousands of people uncover the truth about their biological families. We're talking adoptees, NPEs, donor-conceived people, those who took a DNA test and suddenly realized their life story didn't quite add up. Laura and her team step in and help solve these mysteries. But what makes this conversation especially powerful is that Laura didn't start out as an expert. She started out exactly where many of our listeners begin: taking a DNA test out of curiosity, and discovering something that completely changed how she understood her family. In this episode, Laura walks us through that moment, the long process of uncovering the truth about her biological father, and the complicated emotions that came with learning the answers years too late. And then we talk about what happened next, how the experience led her to create DNA Angels, which has now helped solve more than 9,000 cases around the world. It's a story about secrets, persistence, and what can happen when someone decides to turn their own discovery into something that helps thousands of other people. Here's our conversation with Laura Olmsted. Laura, welcome to the Family Twist Podcast.

Meet Laura Olmsted and the Mission of DNAngels

SPEAKER_02 1:32

Well, thank you for having me.

Corey 1:34

Absolutely. Now, before we get into your story, it's just exciting to see the work that D Angels has done over the last six years. For those who don't know, Laura is the founder and prediction that might hit 10,000 this year.

SPEAKER_02 1:49

We're over 9,000 now or really close to 9,000. We do about anywhere between 1300 and 1,500 a year for the last three years. So I'm gonna say, yeah, we'll hit our 10,000 this year.

Corey 2:03

Wow. That's just that's amazing. That's incredible, you know, especially because it's so needed because more and more people are making their discoveries every day, you know. How many folks does D and Angels have now with your board and volunteers?

SPEAKER_02 2:18

I actually eliminated a department. So we had about a hundred volunteers, but we have fine-tuned our process so much that we're down to about 60 volunteers. But I say that is that's a good 60 because we're international now. So we went international last year, and so we've got boots on the ground doing this work and representing the UK, Ireland, Scotland, Australia. That's about in Canada.

Kendall 2:49

Because there are people like I I made all these connections when I when my DNA matched, but nobody was willing to talk to me. So it was like, you know, it was really frustrating at the beginning. Well, it still is, but it was particularly frustrating when I could see all these names and people just wouldn't admit that they knew who my mother was. You know what I mean? It was like pretty obvious I'm part of this family. Look at all the connections, you know. But they just either either some of them didn't know, you know, the whole story because I was given up for adoption, or they just didn't want to get involved.

SPEAKER_02 3:33

Well, they inadvertently become secret keepers, you know, they don't want to even so I say in my situation, I didn't create the bomb, I just uncovered the bomb. Well, the people that are walking by looking at that bomb don't want to set that bomb off by sharing the information. So I understand. But for other people who are not faced with adoption but have like an NPE in their in their story, and someone may be looking at your tree and their tree and they don't see the connection. Maybe they just don't want to, you know, tell you obviously something's wrong with your tree. I want to say that there are tips and tricks to getting people to respond. It's really in the delivery of the message that you're sending. And also that we find that 10 to 20 percent more people respond if you have an actual photo of yourself on your profile that makes you real.

Kendall 4:32

I completely believe that. And I don't know why I didn't. You know what I mean? Like I just I didn't I wasn't even thinking in that vein when this was all happening way back eight years ago. But I even thought later myself, like, well, these people don't know who I am, they don't, you know. So it would have it would have probably helped.

Corey 4:54

And there are photos out there on social media of the the folks that you know Kendall has met on that side. And so I and I'm sure they'd be they've been seeing, you know, right. Right. You know, here we are still in the in the middle of this all these 20 years later, but it is what it is, right?

unknown 5:11

Yeah.

Corey 5:12

So Laura, can you kind of take us back to that fateful time when you decided to do a DNA test?

Taking a DNA Test and Discovering Her Father Wasn’t Her Biological Dad

SPEAKER_02 5:18

I was actually making a family history book for my grandchildren for Christmas. I started six months early. I was going to make them a family history scrapbook for Christmas because my aunt had given me one, and it really is what turned me on to researching genealogy and stuff like that. And so I had built out a big old tree, and I'm like, you know, let me take I'm gonna take one of these DNA tests of ancestry just to see how much, you know, English we have. And we came over from England, and of course, it's quite it's quite clear that my mother's family is English or Ireland and Scottish. She's just everybody's a redhead. So I took a DNA test and I actually let it sit on my on my counter for like six weeks. I didn't even process it. And then one day I was looking at my husband, I'm like, we got these DNA tests, let's take these tests because he is Lithuanian, and we wanted to look into his family history as well. So we did, and we got the DNA results back within like a day of each other. And I was looking and I'm like, you know, I I don't recall quite how quickly I freaked out, but I did, I was excited. I wanted to look at my results right away, and I saw lots of people that I recognized from my mom's side of the family. I'm like, I don't understand why I'm not seeing my seeing my cousins, and then I thought, well, let me just look up some ancestors' names. So I did some star name searches and I'm like, okay, well, I see it. But I didn't realize at the time that a 20 Cinnamorgan match is like six generations away. Right. Um, so I was feeling relieved, and then I'm like, no, something just didn't feel right here. So I called cousin and I'm like, did you take a DNA test with ancestor? I could have sworn you said you did. And she's like, yeah. And she looked it up and she's like, I don't see you as a match. I'm like, I got my matches right here. And so it started dawning on me that, okay, that little rumor, because I had an aunt when I was younger share with me that my father that raised me was sterile and none of us were his kids. And I'm like, well, that is just horrifying. Why would you say something like that to me? And I didn't believe her, I just thought she was a big old troublemaker, right? I didn't like her for the rest of my life. And it just kind of dawned on me in that moment. I had that aha moment, right?

Following DNA Matches to Identify a Biological Family

SPEAKER_02 7:43

Maybe my dad isn't my dad. And then I'm like, well, who are these people? Because you can clearly see matches to your known side if you're if you were raised by a parent that you know gave birth to you. And I had one match at 455 centimorgans. And if for those who don't know, that's like a second cousin. But what it really was was a first cousin once removed. So it was on my bio, my on my biological side, it was my brother, I'm sorry, my dad's brother's daughter's child. So it was down a couple of generations, but that really was the highest match. And so I reached out to her and I said, I don't know. Actually, I don't even remember what I said. I'm sure it was the wrong thing to say. I'm pretty sure I said something like, 'Hi, I don't know how we're related,' but I'd love to figure it out. And she wrote back and she said, I don't know how we're related either, but I'd be happy to help you. And so we just got to talking, and she said, You know, my dad's adopted, so I'm pretty sure you're from my dad's side of the family. And I want to preface that with, because my family tree didn't match her family tree, she just assumed I was on her dad's side of the tree because he was adopted. So my biological father's family is from my area, but they had moved when he was a child to a northern part of the state. And so it made sense that I would be related to biological father for her because they're from my neck of the woods. And so I literally was calling these people and talking to them. They were really nice and telling me all about their family. And they said they didn't, you know, know what the connection was, but they'd be happy to help me too. And then I went to her one day and I said, I just it just doesn't feel right, you know. And she said, you know what? I was looking at my stuff the other day, and the interesting thing is, is you also match this person, this person, and this person, and that's my mom's side of the tree. And I said, Well, tell me about your mom. And so she told me about her mom because her

The Phone Call That Revealed the Truth About Her Biological Father

SPEAKER_02 10:03

mom didn't play a large role in her life either. And so we were able to figure out that her grandfather, who she also didn't know, her mother's father, um, was the link. Once I figured that out, and I found out who his parents were, that was my home run. Because that is actually how you solve a case. You have to go from the top down and then start narrowing it down. Sure. But there was a family rumor in his family, too, that one of the boys was not a fool brother because they said grandma had messed around. They had no evidence of that. That's just what they said. I said, okay, well, I'm looking at these three boys. Your grandfather is this guy. We're close enough related that maybe your grandpa is my dad. And then he's got a brother that died when he was 43, and I would have been 13 at the time. And then he's got another brother who would have been five years younger than my mom. So I don't believe it's the younger brother who's also potentially a half-brother. Now we're down to two. It could be the living man who is your grandfather, or his brother who died when I was 13. So she shared his phone number with me, and I called him. And I left a message saying I was doing genealogy and I would love to learn more about the family. No return call. I called him the next day. Same message. Hey, this is Laura. Understand you're the family historian, but I thought for sure you would call me back. Nothing. So I gave it a couple of days because I didn't want to appear over-aggressive. And then I said, That's it. I'm calling back. And so I did leave a message this next time and I said, Look, this is Laura again. I think you're my dad. Can you please call me back? Like I had had enough. I I I was so frustrated. And he called me within an hour and he said, Honey, what's your mother's name? And I told him, and he says, Well, I know her really well. And I'm like, I started having tears just streaming down my face.

Kendall 12:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:13

I did. I was like, oh my God, I'm talking to my biological dad. Because I had lost my other daddy that raised me like 12 years ago before the test. So it had went through my mind that maybe I have a second chance of having a dad, you know, that's living still. And so and he was so kind. You could hear the kindness in his voice. And he's like, Now what year were you born? And I told him, and he says, Well, honey, I was married at that time, and I did not do anything outside of the marriage. He said, But I do know that my brother Freddie had a relationship with your mom as well. And I'm like, Okay, and his brother Freddie did. And I'll have you know that my mother was married this entire time. He said, You must be Freddie's baby. And he said, Do you mind if I reach out to Freddie's widow and let her know about you? And I said, Sure, that'd be great. And so just a little bit later that day, she left a message on my Facebook public wall that said, Hey, this is Judy. I have answers that you've been searching for all your life. My number is such and such. And she put that out in the public. So I called her and I said, Thanks so much for reaching out. I have not been searching all of my life. I just found this out a couple of weeks ago. And she said, Well, honey, before your before your dad died, my husband, your mother had called our house and told him that she had a little girl. And we said, I'm so sorry, Judy. I have cancer and I'm literally going to die imminently. I am dying. Right. And uh he said, apparently they talked about it. And he said, I really don't want you to tell her about me right now because she's just lost one father to divorce, and her to find out that she has a different dad, and then he's dead would be horrible. So I guess that's the agreement they came to. She sent him some pictures because the widow said that she found pictures of me in her husband's safe at work. So apparently they had a little bit of correspondence after that. But the widow said that he died roughly within like two weeks of that childhood.

Kendall 14:41

Do you regret not getting to oh every day?

SPEAKER_02 14:45

I wish, you know, the thoughts I have a lot of thoughts on I wish that my parents would have realized that they don't have ownership of me, that love is love, and we have the capacity to love multiple children as as parents, right? Why do the children not have the capacity to love multiple parents? And I say, because I don't think there is a full bar to love. Like you can't say that you should love me more because I'm your mother. Just let people, you know, get to know the biological people in their life and they'll make that decision on their own. You know, and even if they made that decision when I was 13 because he was dying, I was 48 when I made this discovery. When was I old enough to know my truth?

Corey 15:48

So, did you confront your mother about this?

SPEAKER_02 15:50

I have to preface that by saying my mother has mental health issues. She doesn't live in the here and now, she lives in her own world. And and so when I asked her about it, she said, Charles, is your is your dad? And he's the only dad you're ever gonna know. So I had to come at it a different way, right? I couldn't come in it as a confrontation because she told me that I'm a troublemaker and I've always been a troublemaker. And so I said, All right, let's we're gonna have this big old birthday party for mom because she was turning 75 or something. And so everybody was there, and so I was sitting down showing some pictures to someone, and she says, She saw the picture and she's like, Well, I know that man, that's Freddie. I said, It is, and she's like, Well, where did you get those pictures? I said, Well, from these boys, because Freddie had six boys, five of them with his widow, and then another outside child like me. She said, Those are Freddie's boys. I said, Yeah. And she says, Well, did you know that Freddie's sister died because of anesthesia? And I said, I do. I I do know that, mom. Do you remember when I was 17 and in the hospital having uh uh surgery? And I had a reaction to anesthesia and woke up in ICU with three IVs going full bore in me and ice trying to cool my core temperature down, and she just ignored it. She she she redirected because she just wanted to keep talking about Freddie and his family and now how they were good friends. And I'm like, Yeah, you were good friends, right?

Corey 17:33

Yeah, yes, friends with benefits.

SPEAKER_02 17:35

They were my mom and my dad that raised me had large issues with alcohol. So they frequented bars a lot, like even I even remember that as a child, you know, and then they got sober, which was great. But in the meantime, my mother had four children, all while married to my dad, who was in fact sterile. All four of us have a different dad, none of them are the same.

Testing Siblings and Discovering Multiple Fathers

Kendall 18:06

Do your siblings know that they do they do so.

SPEAKER_02 18:11

I did eventually test them all. Well, except for my older brother who lives in Hawaii and wants what wants nothing to do with this, but his son actually took a test, so I was able to interpret his son's test. So I never figured out who his dad was, and I will not. He has two matches.

Kendall 18:28

Two big deal.

SPEAKER_02 18:33

Um, so I know that his father's probably a foreigner um in the military because he was born actually in a military base in Michigan. And so I can tell that I could just knowing genealogy as I do now, DNA, um, his dad's gonna be a foreigner. However, I did locate or identify and locate the father for my little sister and my little brother. And my little sister's dad was also gone. And my brother's dad was alive, but had had a very severe stroke and was unable to communicate. So his wife just didn't want anything to do with it. So we know enough to know who they are and they're living children. And my sister actually has developed a relationship with her biological father's children as well. Oh, yeah. And so have life. Yeah.

Corey 19:25

Oh, yeah.

From DNA Discovery to Founding DNAngels

Corey 19:27

So, how did you what kind of healing did you have to go through to decide you wanted to help other people with this?

SPEAKER_02 19:33

I think I just needed time to process. So I'm kind of like a type A personality, and I don't I don't show a lot of emotion. That doesn't mean I don't feel it, I just process it in my brain. I am joining support groups because I need that, right? I need to be able to read what they have to do to process these emotions that I'm feeling because nobody around you really understands, right? So a wonderful person added me to their Facebook group, and within that Facebook group, it started getting bigger and bigger and bigger, and people were coming in just making these discoveries, and they were saying, I really need help figuring out who my dad is. And so I would volunteer my time to look at it, and I didn't know anything really back then. I had solved my own case, so I thought, hey, well, I I would help you, right? But it actually worked, and what the patterns that emerged from my case I could see within other people's DNA as well. And then I obviously I was not taking classes, but I was reading a lot, I was watching YouTube videos and just taking free webinars here and there to try and understand you know the DNA a little bit better. I formed a bondship with a group of friends there, and we eventually just walked away from that group and formed our own group because we wanted to be available to work more than just cases where it was a DNA surprise, right? We're donor-conceive people and adoptees and those who just never know who their who their dad was. They were all in the same situation. So I didn't want to box us in myself in. So when I left, a few of them came with me and we started DNA angels. And one thing led to another, and it really just has grown organically, kind of like a grassroots thing. Not to say that there wasn't a lot of effort behind, you know, what how how we grew. It really has been from pain. This amazing organization that's been able to help a little over 9,000 people right now.

Corey 21:43

What steps do you do you prefer people to take if they want to get in touch, if they if they need an angel?

SPEAKER_02 21:50

Before you do anything, you have to take a test with ancestry. I can't help you if you don't test, because I am a genetic genealogist. We don't follow paper trails, we don't follow stories. We follow the actual science. So first test with DNA Angels. And then if you're on Facebook, you can look up DNA Angels Screening Room. But remember that DNA Angels is one word one A. So it's D-N-A-N-G-E-L-S. It's not two words. And then if you don't use Facebook, you can just go to DNA N G E L S dot or G, DNA Angels.org. We will work with you via email instead of through like Facebook. But the fastest way to get in and through and process and start your case is Facebook right now.

Corey 22:36

Well, Laura, you might be aware that the final question that we ask every guest is that when you were going through this discovery and and the trauma and everything, is there a musical artist or a song or a genre that you leaned on?

SPEAKER_02 22:52

Okay, so I don't know if I listened to it back then, but it's absolutely been my song for years now. And it is fight song by Rachel Platton. I am a fighter, and just the words in that song just really do indicate who I am. So this is my fight song to take back my life song. My powers turned on. I'm gonna be strong. I will not let it defeat me.

Corey 23:25

It's inspirational for sure. People need to hear that. Well, Laura, thank you so much for the work that you've done helping all these people find their people or get their answers. And, you know, we'll just keep watching DNAs grow.

SPEAKER_02 23:40

Well, thank you very much for having me. It was so nice being on.

Corey 23:45

Alright, that was our time with Laura Olmsted. You know, every time Kendall and I talk to someone working in this space, whether it's an advocate, a researcher, or someone who has lived through a discovery themselves, we're reminded just how many people are still out there looking for answers. What Laura and the team at DNA Angels have built is honestly remarkable. Thousands of cases solved, families reunited, long-standing mysteries finally answered. And a lot of that work is being done by volunteers who simply understand how important truth can be. Laura's story also touches on something we hear again and again on this podcast. The truth does not erase the past, and it doesn't always fix the pain. But for many people, it's the beginning of understanding who they really are. If you or somebody you know is trying to make sense of a DNA surprise, you can learn more about Laura's organization at dnaangels.org, and we'll include the link in the show notes. As always, Kendall and I thank you for listening to Family Twist. And if this episode resonated with you, consider sharing it with someone who might need to hear it. Until next week, remember, Family Secrets are the ultimate clock twist. The Family Twist podcast is presented by Sabo Affair Marketing Communications and produced by Mosaic Multimedia.