She Didn't Tell Me We Were Jewish

She didn't tell me we were Jewish.

Those seven words changed everything.

Author Joan Moran joins Corey and Kendall to discuss her remarkable memoir, Suddenly Jewish, a story that spans generations, continents, and one life-changing family secret.

Joan grew up believing she knew her family's story. Then, just before marrying into a Jewish family, her mother revealed something she had kept hidden for decades. Their family was Jewish.

The secret was not rooted in shame. It was rooted in survival.

Joan shares her mother's journey from Odesa to London, Montreal, New York, and San Francisco, explaining how antisemitism shaped the choices her family made. Along the way, Corey and Kendall discover something familiar. Even though Joan's story is different from a DNA surprise, the emotional questions are remarkably similar.

How does a family secret shape your identity?

Can you understand the people who believed silence was the safest option?

What happens when the truth finally comes out?

The conversation also explores Kendall's own DNA discovery, the importance of identity beyond genetics, and why understanding history can sometimes lead to compassion, even when it cannot erase the pain.

In this episode:

• Why Joan's mother hid her Jewish identity

• The historical events that made secrecy feel necessary

• How hidden ancestry affects future generations

• The surprising connections between hidden heritage and DNA discoveries

• Why family secrets rarely stay buried forever

Whether your story involves adoption, donor conception, a DNA surprise, hidden ancestry, or another family secret, this episode is a reminder that understanding where we come from can change how we see ourselves.

Joan Moran's memoir, Suddenly Jewish, is available wherever books are sold.

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who loves true stories about family, identity, and discovery.

Remember, family secrets are the ultimate plot twist.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

She came out of the building and he shot her. And then he shot himself. Murder suicide to start the whole family. I guess I should have opened it with that. Welcome back to Family Twist.

Corey 0:14

We often say that family secrets aren't always about who your family is. Sometimes they're about who your family believed they had to become.

Kendall 0:21

That's exactly what today's conversation is about. Our guest, author Joan Moran, grew up believing she knew her family story. Then just before she married into a Jewish family, her mother sat her down and shared something that had been hidden for years. Their family was Jewish.

Corey 0:39

At first glance, you might think this episode is simply about religion. It's not. It's about identity, history, and it's about understanding why someone would spend a lifetime protecting a secret that, from today's perspective, doesn't seem like it should have been a secret at all.

Kendall 0:53

Joan's mother lived through a time when anti-Semitism shaped careers, friendships, neighborhoods, and everyday decisions. As you'll hear, hiding part of who she was wasn't about shame, it was about survival.

Corey 1:09

Listening to Joan, I couldn't help thinking about how many stories we've heard in this podcast. Different circumstances, different generations, but the same questions keep coming up. What happens when someone decides the truth is too dangerous to tell? And what happens to the next generation when they finally learn it?

Kendall 1:25

We also found ourselves talking about my own DNA discovery. Even though our stories are very different, there were so many parallels about identity, family narratives, and realizing that one conversation can completely reshape how you see yourself.

Corey 1:40

Whether your family secret involves adoption, donor conception, a DNA surprise, hidden ancestry, or something else entirely, I think you'll find pieces of yourself in this conversation.

Kendall 1:50

Here's our conversation with Joan Moran, author of Suddenly Jewish.

SPEAKER_00 1:58

My story was quite remarkable, I think, in in terms of its trajectory throughout all of these. And I'm 82, so I'll probably be 83 in November, yes. And it's been a a very interesting life, very long process. My mother was an incredible woman, except for this tiny little thing. And I understand historically why she hid that, because A, she was a woman, wasn't going to get anywhere except to be somebody's secretary, which that wasn't going to be her her ultimate fate in in the work world. So she uh carved out her own life, sons, religion, tribal, anything tribal, she was her own woman, Frida Collorn. She was she was always interested in learning. When I went to high school, she was a she was in at she was founded at Marin Junior College. This was in San Rafael, across from the bridge, because I come from San Francisco. I didn't mention that, but I was born there, my brother was born there. My parents, my father was born there, but my mother was born in Toronto and was raised in Montreal. I guess I'm skipping ahead, but so she I I just love the fact that she was an educator. She ended up by being teaching home economics, she was a clothes designer, in addition to being an expert typist and all of the wonderful things, and she was not stay-at-home, you know. She wasn't a state. And I was in high school and I was be studying, and she was at San Francisco State University, and she'd be studying, and we'd train, you know, trade set topics and subjects. And she was, even though she probably didn't love the Catholic Church, I don't my father didn't either, he wasn't strict, but we went to Catholic school and she would quiz us and cat quiz me in catechism, which I when I look back on it, I thought it was hilarious. If I had known, if I had known a little bit sooner, she wouldn't have had to do that, but she didn't care, you know. What I would like to just start with at the beginning of the story because it does reflect today many things that happened in the 20s and 30s. So I call this a historical memoir because you can't have my mother without the historical background. It doesn't work. And so my grandparents, one of them on my on my mother's side, my mother's my mother's mother was born in the Odessa in the Ukraine. It was the Ukraine at the time, but then it always flipped back from Russia to the Ukraine. That's a history of that of that country. And my great-grandfather was extraordinarily successful. He had a convectionary business. And when there was always a pogrom somewhere right behind them. And my grandfather felt that it was going to come, so he, you know, it was sooner than later. So he went to London to screw the property in order to put his shop there. And it there were there wasn't much anti-Semitism, you know, in the in the in the UK. That that wasn't their deal. They weren't interested in that. They were interested in developing business, somewhat like San Francisco, when that, you know, when they were working in San Francisco, basically Levi Strauss, you know, put the business in San Francisco. And so that was kind of, they saw opportunities through through their history. So uh my grandmother Rose married Jake. Jacob Lanchiski, changed it to Lanch. He she should never have married him, but she she got she she was a real smart lady, also. Very, very cool. I love my grandmother did it. My grandfather was a labor organizer, Jewish guy from the Krakow, who was at 15, was a designer and worked for Berlin Syndat in Paris. He hopped the train, went in, auditioned, got his design work done, and then it was like they weren't going to promote it, you know, a Jew from Krakow. That was never gonna happen. He left and went to London and then became uh hopped the ship and worked the ships from Canada to the UK to London. So that was his trajectory, met my grandmother at the setting of where she worked, which was an embassy. She worked at an embassy. That didn't work out, but he was very famous. His name is on the plaque in, I think it wasn't Manitoba, maybe it was Ottawa, but he was a labor leader and he knew Dubinsky, who was our labor leader in the U.S. And Dubinsky wanted him to go to work for him, and he said, no, I'm not. He was very stubborn. But he was still, it was a designer his life, his whole life, from clothes, and he ended up by being a furrier. My grandmother divorced him finally, and your sister was in San Francisco, and she took my mom and her my aunt, Millie, and went to San Francisco and started a whole new life in the Fillmore. But I want to backtrack for one minute because the whole the whole life started in tragedy. My great-grandfather, my great-grandmother wanted to divorce him because he was a scoundrel, not business-wise, but you know, he's a romanizer. She had had it, and she had had, I think they had nine kids in that family. And one at the beginning of this story, you see my great-grandfather, possessed with the fact that my great-grandmother was going to divorce him, and she was at a lawyer's in London, downtown London. She came out of the building and he shot her. And then he shot himself. Murder, suicide to start the whole family. I guess I should have opened it with that, but it's still a pretty powerful scene. So you see, everybody picked up from there. My grandmother finished her studies, your secretarial studies to work at the embassy, and all the brothers and sisters were there. Some went to the United States, some went to New York, some went to Canada. There were cat Canadians, and so they spread all over the place. And some stayed in London. I met them through years of travel. My mom would take me to meet cousin so-and-so, and cousins-so, and then we didn't get the royal treatment from her relatives or cousins. It was just like an unfortunate thing that happened. You know, it started off on the wrong foot, it ended up on the right foot. Let's put it that way. San Francisco is where they met, and where my mother was taken to a YMCA dance, on a thing, where my father was, he who couldn't dance, and my mother was a terrific dancer, of course. And they met, they were married for God knows 50-something years. And it wasn't easy to marry an Irish Catholic, but he was a wonderful man. He just loved her. That was love. Absolute 100% love. The way that Suddenly Jewish, the book that I wrote, is historical in the sense that we had to have a backdrop not just of World War I, when she was going to school, high school, but also the Ku Klux Klan, the rise of the Ku Klux Klan in the early 20s, it went all the way through. And then we have fascism. And my parents were very well read and they knew exactly what was going on. And my mother chose deliberately not to hide, to be. She was herself. Yeah. It got kicked out of the cotillion in Marin County. Yeah. She was fired from the job because some guy found out she was Jewish. It it didn't, it didn't she just moved on. She she just moved out. I didn't I was raised in Catholic school. My mother never went and talked to a nun. Looking back, I think was hilarious. Never talked to a nun. Never went to school. I was on my own, you know. So always supportive, as my brother was. He just passed a few years ago. And one time he said to me, you know, he said, I wish we had been raised Jewish. I thought that was really profound. He knew before I knew. He got on that role before. He never told me he didn't want to disrupt my life. Instead, my mom, I had transferred from UCLA to Berkeley, and was dating a law school student at Berkeley in the 60s. That's where we were. But living my life. And he was Jewish. And you know, I hadn't met so many Jews at UCLA because I'd been there for a year and a half. And but when I went there, I didn't know what a Jew was. We had one kid in our Catholic school named Phil Goldberg. Someone said it was Jewish. And we all looked around and went, okay, whatever. So this guy that I met was everything, he was a beatnik. In those days it was beatnics. That was for me. I was a theater major and I knew exactly what I wanted to do with my life. I wanted to teach at college and I wanted a PhD or so, maybe two, I don't know. But that's where I was. So my mom met him, my dad met him, and then I was 19, it was summer, and I was going to go into the junior year, and my mom sat me, she said, she walked in my room and she said, Down. Okay. I have to tell you something.

SPEAKER_03 11:05

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 11:07

Your grandmother was Jewish. And like mom, it doesn't skip a generation. Pouchline. She said, I don't care. I don't care. I said, Well, suddenly I'm Jewish, right? Sarah, I'm Jew Jewish. She goes, You you can be whatever you want to be. So th those are those are the takeaways of that life. And what I did after that was embrace my my husband to be, and embraced who I was because I kind of always knew I was something else. Even though I was a really good Catholic. I like rituals. Not necessarily doctor. Pretty tough for me to swallow a couple of those things because it's mythology. And once you take it as mythology, that's not the meaning of it. It transcended into who you know you are. And just just a friend of mine just sent me some, he was a comedian who had the opening line was, I did the ancestry, it did the genealogy, and that said, it turns out that I'm 97% Ashkenazi Jew. And of course it was a laugh line because she's not a hundred percent. What's the other three percent? And so the comedy was in, what else am I? And how come I paid a hundred dollars to find out what I already knew? It was so terrific, and it reminded me like I'm I Ashkenazi, but when you're a Jew, you're a Jew. Okay, so my father's is all Irish. But the tribe Irish is a religious. I mean, Catholic it's Catholicism, it comes from a country, so you could be Ukraine and a Jew. But this was something else. This was I'm leaving this. Married the Jew, raised my kids as Jewish, and all my five grandchildren are Jewish. It meant something to me that I wanted to carry on a line. That's what this was. And the the question is why was I angry at him? For a while I was. I didn't understand why she had to hide now. But she was raised in different circumstances where it was always look behind your back. She lived in a city that was extraordinarily conducive to who she was. San Francisco was the best. And that's where I hung out most of the time. So my whole experience was completely different. And so at the end of it, my mom was still just kicking around, and she was wonderful. Couture designer, had all those skills, taught senior aerobics almost to the day she died. And it was to watch that woman live a full life, despite the fact that she was of the tribe. It didn't bother me that much. I forgave her because I understood I have to look at everything historically. And that's it. Anyway, I'll leave you if we got any questions.

Corey 14:11

Well, it's funny, the only reason that we're not talking to you from the Bay Area right now is because we found Kendall's birth family and we moved all the way across the country to New England.

Kendall 14:19

Yeah, we lived in the Bay Area for nine years. And in 2017, Corey got me a DNA kit, and my sister-in-law got my brother, whom I didn't know, a half-brother, got him his kit, and we immediately matched. He'd been looking for me since 1988. And yeah, I suddenly found that, well, my parents were 15 and 16 when they when I was born, so that's why I was given up. But just you know, I found out suddenly that they're both still they were both still living. They didn't stay together, but they went on to have other children with other people. So after feeling like an only child for 47 years, I suddenly had six half siblings and 13 nieces and nephews, and yeah, we moved here.

Corey 15:07

Kind of was raised in Arkansas. I was raised in Missouri, so landlocked, being able to live on the coast still is wonderful. You know, it's yeah, I'm looking forward to the beach days already. But that's it. It's been a challenge. And one of the things I think that has helped us not go completely insane is becoming part of these communities. I I'm in the supportive spouse role, but I'm part of this organization called Right to Know, which is all about support and educating people through their DA surprises, you know. And it's interesting, Pendle's 2.7% Ashfanazi, but a lot of people in these discoveries find out that they're 50%. A good friend of ours, Kara, who started the Right to Know organization, thought she was a half African American, and then come to find out that her dad wasn't her dad, and she's half Jewish. And she's totally embraced that over the however handful of years.

SPEAKER_00 15:57

The thing about Jewish is, and I kind of object to this. Someone would say, Oh, I'm half Jewish. What does that mean?

unknown 16:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:07

You can't be half. And and you Jewish is an identity.

Corey 16:11

Right.

SPEAKER_00 16:11

Right. Jewish is not, and it's not necessarily a religion. You have to carry around the Torah.

unknown 16:16

Right.

SPEAKER_00 16:16

And you have to be bar mitzvah. You know, my one of my second sons, he said, I don't want to be bar bar mitzvah. The other one, bar mitzvah, but they know they're Jews. And you know, it's you are in in the existential sense, you're a Jew. Without the Jew, without all the rules and rituals and uh and all that stuff. Yeah. You are that identity.

SPEAKER_03 16:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:40

So I don't know about you. What we you're you're two percent?

Kendall 16:47

2.7. 2.7.

SPEAKER_00 16:50

Don't leave that out, as that comedian once said. Every little bit counts.

Kendall 16:54

It's like my big toe or something, right?

SPEAKER_00 16:57

I don't know if you could go to Israel. I mean, you may be able to go. I mean, I could go. I could be a, you know, I could get a passport or whatever, but can in Canadian passport, but I'm not interested at this particular point. I think it's what you feel, you know, and what you identify with. And I think that follow getting your genealogy, especially in your sense, was absolutely the most important thing of your whole life. The most important thing. Because look at the secrets people hide. Look at that, and I don't kid family secrets are dangerous to hold. Because and this is why I wanted I wrote my book. You know, this is I threw it out there. This is my identity. Nobody knew. I mean, I live in Austin now. I came from LA. I was in LA for 30 years. And that's easy, it's easy to be a Jew in LA. They say if you're not Jewish, they go, You're not Jewish? What are you doing? So I love your story. Why don't you read that book?

Kendall 17:57

We moved here because my father and two of his other three children live here. And, you know, just instant connection with them all. And yeah, so it's been it's been wonderful. The family is what's why we're why we're here.

Corey 18:13

So Joan rewinding a little bit when you were talking about your mother as a young person and as headstrong as she was, and then talking about like why why she kept this hidden, I was thinking, well, that doesn't make sense to me. But then I'm thinking like, well, look where we are today, the anti-Semitism. That it's just in your face constantly. Yep.

SPEAKER_00 18:33

It would be the same story today or 1931-32 would be the same story. That's what's frightening. That's why kind of it's it's deje boo all over again. And she would be the same way. She would be unrelenting the same way. And I get it now more than ever. I'm not afraid of it. But it's the hatred, it's disgusting, and the crimes and this. I mean, you know the statistics. The statistics are unbelievable. Of anti-Semitism in this country right now. Probably the worst it's ever been. So it's like you have to just be vigilant and be strong and know this is the state of the state. Now, it it it might flow another way.

Kendall 19:22

And I hope it isn't cyclical. Like it feels like we've done a 180, and hopefully we'll never do that again once we come out of this period of idiocy, is what I call it.

Corey 19:33

Yes. I agree. I don't know that I agree with the 180. I think it's always been under the surface. It's just been it's been it's not been politically correct to be overtly anti-Semitic.

Kendall 19:43

Yeah.

Corey 19:43

But it clearly it's not like one day somebody woke up and said, I loved Jews yesterday, but today that's a good point.

SPEAKER_00 19:52

Well, we have a disjunctive problem with Israel that compounds the anti-Semitism. We didn't have that before. It wasn't anything, you know, after the war, I mean until after the war, 48. So I don't think that that we have I think we have a harder hill to cr to climb that I don't I don't think I'll see the end of it. I mean, in terms of my life expectancy. I think that it will still be there. And I I don't know why. Somebody asked me, why do why do people hate the Jews? And I said the Jews were traditionally very successful business people. They were the Shylocks. You know, Shakespeare had it. And you know, so there was a jealousy, the competitiveness that people and but they don't understand how the Jews strive. They strive. This is the best word I can think of. Is they me too. You know, my brother too. And and you can see, even my my nephew who probably doesn't even know that that he was, I don't think my my brother even told him, but even he is a striver and a worker. And it's when you are when you're out there doing that, and people see that, and you get money for that, you get you know, status with that, that's why there's no country clubs that won't accept Jews. In LA. LA country club. So I learned a lot. And I just think you just have to be present and just be vigilant and be drowsy of uh, you know, who you do have to be.

Corey 21:34

Were you able to have conversations with your mother about why she was looking over her shoulder, why she was stared?

SPEAKER_00 21:43

I mean, she was the only Jewish girl in a Catholic school in Montreal. They moved to New York. She had to go to another Catholic school. She's surrounded by people of other religions. Then they moved to LA, out in the boondocks and gardena with the weeds. And th th they were the only Jews everywhere they went except LA. Then my mother quickly, you know, which which she figured out that that that Loos that she was married to wasn't gonna ever be there or be nice. He for he was an anti-Semite. He forbade her to light the candles on Friday night. There's a scene in the book where he comes in and massacres the candles and and he's abusive. And you know, and my mother was hiding down the hallway watching this stuff go on. So my mother was never gonna be in that situation. She knew it. She knew it. So when she told me about I I mean, I I deduced she didn't come out and say anything to answer your question. She didn't say, you know, it was this specific or this specific, but it was an oral unacceptable, she wasn't accepted. She wanted to be accepted. So if you're the other, what happens to you? Even if you're three three percent, missing three percent Ashkenazi, which I think is hilarious. You know, you still why why am I not a hundred? And they said, you know, in genealogy, they said, oh, you're three percent other. That's woman. Loaded technology. She's not other.

Kendall 23:22

I know, it's like kid are we counting Martians? Like, what is it comical?

SPEAKER_00 23:29

So I I we never had the come to Jesus conversation, if you if you you're asking that. We had a conversation surrounding it. We it was a minimum conversation on the bed when she laid that one on me. And I said, Why are you telling me now I'm gonna marry Jerry? And he's she said, Well, I just thought you should know. Oh, it shouldn't know, because I'm marrying into a Jewish family. And the Jews were not asked to Thanksgiving for a while until I told my mother to knock it off. We went to Vegas for 18 years, and it was a very big Jewish community, so it was mostly Jews. And so finally they got to come to Thanksgiving dinner, and it was great and it was fun. It's just a barrier from all those of not wanting to associate. And it took me a long time to understand it completely and accept at my second son's wedding in Santa Monica, she came with my brother, and she sat gloriously in this selfie chair at this hotel in Santa Monica and had the best time ever. And there was a female rabbi, and it was just thankfully she got to do that.

Kendall 24:46

Those to your point, that ritual is so important.

SPEAKER_00 24:50

It's not a belief system.

Kendall 24:52

Right.

SPEAKER_00 24:53

It's it's it's it's a ritual. You go out to Sunday brunch or it's Father's Day today, so we go I go and take Aaron and my granddaughter to to breakfast, and you know, yeah. It's it's uh it's a ritual. And you want to be in that ritual. And I make my uh here because Aaron does a practice, he he knows all his Hebrew. He went to Hebrew school. So I m I make I make them do their I said, nope, nope, it's Rosh Hashanah, it's Hanukkah, you know, and we we're gonna sit down and we're gonna do it, and I'm gonna make a brisket and you're gonna eat it.

Corey 25:28

I love it. Joe, do you did your brother keep it from you because he and that was a way of trying to protect you? Yeah. Did you hold any resentment toward him because of that? Or I thought he was wonderful.

SPEAKER_00 25:40

I miss him terribly. You always read my book, you know, you always here, send it over. Let me let me read it. He was my biggest support and fan. Oh that's he he was a great piano player. He played in this in some of the hotels, you know. And yeah, he could do that. We started off taking piano together. My mother put us in tap, and we had a routine when we were like, I think I was like 10 and he was 12. I don't know, but he did magic and we tap danced, and we took that routine all over San Rafael. Oh, that's so cool! Yeah, and and it and it was like it was like so my mother, you know. It would sound, you know.

Kendall 26:22

Yeah, it's so fun.

SPEAKER_00 26:24

And she changed your name by the way. It used to be Esther, but she changed it to Estelle because it was too Jewish.

Kendall 26:31

Well, yeah, I mean uh definitely associate that with Judaism, but they're both nice names, right? But they are, of course. It's the motivation that's like you have to think about what she was living through.

SPEAKER_03 26:44

Yeah.

Corey 26:45

Well, as we've said already, I mean, the book is arriving at a very interesting time. What do you hope Jews and non-Jews take away from the book?

SPEAKER_00 26:54

Well, I've I've had some interesting experiences, as you might well know, and non-Jews love it because everyone has a secret. This is this transcends the the the message is transcended through generations, through different types of people. It could be read all over the world, and oh I whenever they oh my god, I had that experience, and hey, you know, I found out I was X. So it does, it's not just about being a Jew. The Jewish people, I don't think I've had a a a particularly good success rate with speaking and going to temples and and that the the uh Jewish book council out of New York. I don't know what it was. I don't know if they were afraid of the title. I don't know if they wanted it to be my story, but it was my I was the third person in the book. There's my mama and there's my mom and there's me, and it's three generations. I don't know what it is, but anybody who does read it, I get wonderful response. It just didn't worry about, you know, if I had been on the speaking circuit, yeah, maybe, but I wasn't choosing. Somebody else wasn't. I didn't I was a member of the National Council of Women, Jewish women. Anyone who has read, including I I always love the the responses from people who aren't Jewish because and then one person said, Oh my god, I learned so much about Judaism from this. And she was thrilled. So you see, it's it's a different kind of thing, but it's a good it's a good story.

Corey 28:29

Well, and I think you you hit upon it pretty well in that it's family secrets tend to be a generational thing. Like they they just keep happening, like and even when in our experience, it's still happening. And I feel like you you haven't out out like you haven't said this exactly, but like the secret stops with my generation. I I feel like that's where you are.

SPEAKER_00 28:50

Yeah, and whatever my I I know what my oldest son will do in terms of being religious, because he is, and my youngest son will be who he is, and I had to come to I was a little ticked off at him for not wanting to bar Mizrah, but you know you can only go so far. Right. But he knows he's a Jew and he still can sp is Hebrew, so that's fine.

Corey 29:14

So the final question that we always ask on the podcast is when you were going through the tough times or when you were going through the process of writing the book, is there a song or a musical artist or a genre that you leaned on?

Kendall 29:32

We asked because we're such music lovers. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:35

Yeah, well, she would study music forever. And my my grandson's got in Berkeley School of Music next semester. Got in.

Corey 29:44

A friend of ours, their son just graduated from Berkeley last year.

SPEAKER_00 29:47

And he wants to be a music producer, and he also creates his own music. He writes his own music for himself and plays it and has the whole studio in his room. It just it's perfect for him, you know. It's great. Yes, that's a tough one. It was it it was a long period of time. The first the first 19 years, of course, was rock and roll. So you know it was Elvis. But that wasn't Elbus. I didn't have any issues in those days. So, you know, I wish I could give you Neil Diamond. Oh because you know, I was in Vegas for 18 years when all these people played that we're not played, and and I I'm really bad on this question. It was a really good question.

Corey 30:28

And Kendall's right, the reason we ask it is that you know we've got music constantly playing like we you know we bonded over our love of of music, and he's introduced me to a lot of different artists. I've introduced him to our different artists, and so yeah, we just slide there.

SPEAKER_00 30:42

I think Neil, I mean I do say Neil Diamond, I saw Neil Diamond opening in Vegas, and when he came out on stage, it was really electric, and I like the lyrics to his songs. Yeah. So I can get there. It was terrific. I can get there.

SPEAKER_03 30:54

Yeah. You know, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:55

And I get so wondering because this I just finished uh and published another book called Up From Hill, which is a crime fiction crime fiction, and the protagonist is the protagonist's name is Neil, and his mother named him after Neil Diamond.

Corey 31:09

That was one of my favorite concerts I've ever seen. It was incredible. And he's Jewish. And I don't know if I've mentioned this on the podcast or not, but when I was 21 over Thanksgiving holiday, I came down with spinal meningitis and woke up in the hospital five or six days later, and trying to take the the tube and stuff out of my throat and everything. And what was on the view was Neil Diamond was a guest on The View. And so I had the opportunity to interview him and I get was able to tell him that story, and he was really touched by it. And that's a very that's just a nice touchstone to the crazy experience.

SPEAKER_00 31:48

I also felt with Neil that he is almost like a spoken word. He's kind of what he spoke them to, you know, in his song, in his voice. So it's funny, it just came up, and I think that's probably the closest to something a performer in those days that meant something to me. Yeah. I love Sinatra. I grew up at the Sands Hotel with Rad Pack, so I'm pretty familiar with that genre of music. Yeah. I loved more than Sinatra. Sammy Davis Jr. was just like incredible. Um you go back in time, and then then you have you have that feeling.

Kendall 32:28

My adoptive parents were born in the 30s, and they went to Sands as often as they could, and loved it, and that was totally their vibe, and it rubbed off on me very early on.

SPEAKER_00 32:41

You know, I I played piano and I played all those songs. So it wasn't anything I knew all the music, all the lyrics, everything.

SPEAKER_03 32:50

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 32:51

And and so I I still have I can still sing them. In in Austin, we got a band that's like guy, like Sinatra. You know, he comes out and the whole band, and it's that whole genre that that he has, and we dance to it, and I know all the words of one guy said to me, I know all these words, and I said, because I'm old.

Kendall 33:08

I'm so thankful that my parents introduced me to all that. You know, I I mean I'm a huge jazz lover and blues, and that's strictly because they played it all the time.

SPEAKER_00 33:22

Well, that I mean it was I in a born and raised in San Francisco. I used to hang out on Columbus Avenue.

SPEAKER_03 33:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:28

And the jazz, the jazz places were there, Pinocchio's and Carol Doda and all those places. As teenagers, we'd drive a car there, and that's where we'd spend a we'd just walk to the City Lights bookstore. So that was my hood, because there's nothing in San Rafael. I mean, you never went on a date in San Rafael, there's nowhere to go, no, nothing to do, except live. And in a very conservative Republican enclave where my parents were Roosevelt Democrats. Well, that didn't work out real well.

Kendall 33:57

I was fortunate that my hometown was near Memphis, and so I was on Beale Street.

SPEAKER_00 34:02

Oh, great.

Kendall 34:03

Often, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:03

That's fabulous.

Kendall 34:05

My my parents took advantage of being so close, you know, and I can't even tell you how many times they saw Elvis perform, you know. In fact, that was my very first concert. They took me when I was three to an Elvis concert. I had to wear little earplugs because it was, you know, somewhat loud. But yeah, I just my love for I saw Elvis's last performance at the Sahara.

SPEAKER_00 34:34

Oh wow. Very last. Very tragic. Except you could still hear his voice through that. He still had the best balls. Yeah.

Kendall 34:47

Wow. Beautiful.

SPEAKER_00 34:49

I have I I've lived a great life. I'm very grateful for my life. I'm grateful for how my family supported me and everything I wanted to do. Writing this memoir was that was putting the finishing touches on a life well lived, I think. And I think everybody should be grateful for what they have in their lives. Definitely. It's all good.

Corey 35:11

It's absolutely well, we appreciate you being so open to sharing your story and putting it out into the world. And hopefully the feedback continues to be all positive.

SPEAKER_00 35:20

I can't thank you enough. This is so much fun. Oh, notice. I think we should take this to the coffee shop next door.

Corey 35:27

For sure.

SPEAKER_00 35:28

All right. Don't be too far away. I will always remember this, and I'll always be grateful to you guys for doing it. It's made me so happy.

Kendall 35:36

Oh, good. Thank you. Good. One thing I kept thinking about during this conversation is how often people keep secrets because they believe they're protecting someone they love. Sometimes they're protecting themselves, sometimes they're protecting their children, but those decisions can echo for generations.

Corey 35:54

That's something we hear over and over from our guests. The circumstances may be completely different, but the emotional questions are often the same. Who am I? Where do I come from? And why wasn't I told the truth?

Kendall 36:06

I also appreciated that Joan didn't paint her mother as a villain. Once she understood the histori Once she understood the historical context, she understood the fear. That doesn't erase the pain of keeping the secret, but it does add compassion to the story.

Corey 36:23

And that's something we hope Family Twist does every week. These stories aren't about assigning blame. They're about understanding people, understanding history, and making sure future generations don't have to carry the same burdens in silence.

Kendall 36:35

If Joan's story connected with you, we'd love to hear from you. Maybe your family has a hidden chapter. Maybe you've uncovered something through DNA testing, or maybe you've spent years trying to understand why certain things were never talked about.

Corey 36:49

Be sure to check out Joe Moran's book, Suddenly Jewish, if you'd like to learn more about her family's incredible journey.

Kendall 36:55

And if you're enjoying Family Twists, subscribing, leaving a review, and sharing the podcast with someone who loves true stories really helps us continue bringing these conversations to more people.

Corey 37:06

Thanks for spending part of your day with us. Until next time. Remember, Family Secrets are the ultimate plot twist. The Family Twist Podcast is presented by Sabwaffe Marketing Communications and produced by Mosaic Multimedia LLC.