15 - Growth does not always look dramatic.

In this episode, we talk about growth, the kind that feels slow, seasonal, and often a little hidden at first.

We kick things off with a question from church: where is God challenging you to grow right now? Patty shares how that question is reshaping the way she sees her role on the farm and the season she is in with her boys getting older. Amy shares a recent reflection that has stuck with her deeply: joy is the strategy.

From there, we talk about what it means to protect your joy, how easy it is to let complaining or negativity lead the day, and how choosing joy is not the same thing as pretending everything is perfect. We also touch on discipline, spring rhythms, family time, and the simple ways God keeps calling us forward in the middle of ordinary life.

This episode is a reminder that growth does not always look loud or dramatic. Sometimes it looks like showing up, shifting your mindset, and saying yes to the season God has you in.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Hello, welcome back to 27 Good. I'm Patty. And I'm Amy. Happy year. Yeah. What's up? What's up? So this episode stems from a church last week. We talked a little bit about like a season of spring and growth. And the message was where is God challenging you to grow in your life? And kind of like leaning into that. Yeah, love it. You mean kick us off? Sure. So one thing what I thought of when went in sitting in church when we hearing that and thinking about it later was the farm. So I'm a city girl. I lived in a suburb. It was a really big school. It's a division one school. I graduated with like 900 kids in my class. I mean, it's so different than where. Because now Northwestern's wit, like 150 maybe. No. 100. 100. Lucky to be 100.

SPEAKER_01 0:58

Yeah. They're around 100 usually. Not to make it about me quick, but I had 49. I love it. Isn't that so fun? I can't even imagine 900 students in my class.

SPEAKER_00 1:08

What I can say, and I really do truly believe this, is that a Division I school is, I mean, the opportunities are endless for the types of pathways you go on in school. I mean, my art classes were just endless. I was really an art kid. Lots of different art classes. Think of what our musical productions were like. I mean, but I think a small school is where it's at where it's at. I just really do. I think I always tell my kids, like, you this year decide I'm gonna try soccer. I've never played soccer. You can play soccer. Oh, yeah. You're welcome on the team. Yeah. And you're probably not getting division one scholarships coming out of a small school like ours. There's, you know, it's pretty rare. But the opportunities in those types of things, extracurriculars, where at my school, you were cut for sports. You know, not everybody that wanted to play could play. And I just think, and then the relationships with teachers and things too in a small school. I just yeah, more personalized attention. Well, you're not getting, we're we're aware of what everybody's doing. We're paying attention to all of our kids. We don't have that many. But in a big school, there's you might have a one teacher for math and never see him again their whole entire yeah, you know, I don't know. We had a different principal for every graduating class. Like we it's just it's so different. And I just think a small school is where it's at. I love that. Yeah. But so, anyways, I'm city girl. When we first got married, I would help with some things on the farm. Brian is such a good teacher, he would throw me on a tractor, like bailing, or I would not bail hay, I would be raking hay, maybe. And I would always say, like, okay, well, when I'm done, what am I supposed to do? Just leave it in the field and walk home. Because I he knew I wasn't driving at home. But I had such a different role then. I would help in so many different ways. I was always with him. If he was taking a load of grain into the bit, like into the commodity, I was with him in the in the truck. And then when you have babies, like my role shifted so much to I was at home taking care of the babies. I was cooking the meals, I was just keeping the home together. And then last year especially was a year that really shifted to the boys are always with Brian, and not in the sense of I want to ride with dad, but they're really helping. They're doing a lot of the work. And so I found myself sitting at home by myself a lot. And okay, I could go for a walk or, you know, read a book or watch a show, but it was a little bit lonely. And I think what I'm gonna try to do is just be out there with them. The hardest part about that will be there's always something to do at the home to keep your home running, right? Like laundry to be done, meals to cook, dishes to do, rooms to clean. So it'll be a little bit of having to make sure that I can just let that go and just be, okay, I'm gonna be out. Charlie can run tractors by himself, and most of our tractors now have body seats. They don't all, but I could just ride with one of the boys and just be with them. I don't think I have any desire to be really good at driving a truck and trailer, driving a grain truck. Yeah, we don't need to be destroying any equipment. I don't think I need to do anything.

SPEAKER_01 4:06

You could rock it, Deller eventually. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:09

Or the truck that has like the seed thing to the back of it. I don't think if there's anything attached to a truck, I should be driving it. It's too long. Turned. But I could be helping out hanging out. Oh my gosh, I love that. Yeah, so I think that that's something that I'm thinking about because things are gonna get pretty busy here on the farm in just the next month or so. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:29

Gearing up for spring planting. Right. Um, and even in the summer.

SPEAKER_00 4:34

Well, yeah. May and June are our busiest months, I would say for sure. Yeah. May's kind of dependent on weather. We can have a really rainy May and then nothing gets done, but ideally, you're doing a lot in May.

SPEAKER_01 4:45

I love that. I feel like some of those are like core memories writing together with the boys in there.

SPEAKER_00 4:50

We're just so aware. I've said this in a I feel like a couple other podcast episodes of how fleeting our time is with the boys. I mean, Charlie's gonna be in high school next year. And so I just, yeah, if we're if they're gonna be all out in the field, you're gonna be with them.

SPEAKER_01 5:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:03

Yeah. I'm gonna be there too.

SPEAKER_01 5:05

I love that so much. What was yours? It's great. All right, so I'm gonna kick us off by reading this thing I saw online earlier this week. So this is a what I think is a screenshot of a text to someone, but she says, Joy is a strategy. Everything works smoother. I keep my sight fixed on the Lord, and I'm easier for others to work with. That said, joy is natural. Protecting it is is the challenge. I imagine it is a flower in my garden, it has everything it needs to grow. The key to life is removing everything that kills it. So she says it loves the heat from the sun, loves a good soaking, it loves dirt bugs and buddies. So protecting it isn't blocking the sun, avoiding raid or rain, or isolating the plant. Protecting it is building a fence to keep the bad stuff out or knowing which bugs are harmful. Your joy is a flower, natural and beautiful. Life is the rain and the sun and the dirt, good stuff. Busy is the bad bugs, rush is the trampling animals, fear is the weeds, they kill joy. You don't need to go to bed early and wake up early to be joyful. Sleep definitely helps all natural things thrive, but it's not the way to joy. Being present in those five to six nighttime wakings with sweet words of and full breaths of joy is where you know you have it good. Yes, it's hard, just like rain is wet, soil is dirt, and the sun is heat. My encouragement for you is to pay closer attention to the relief that this brings when you let go of something. And then she shares something else. But basically she says, Joy is my strategy. And so what can you say no to to stop that? And she ends by saying, Stop trying to make the rain dry, the sun cold, and the soil spotless. You'll lose every time. Just let flowers grow and plant your very favorites. And I feel like you can hear messages, like I feel like that's not that profound, but it sometimes I think is more of when you hear something when it can really hit you, not necessarily always like what exactly it was, if that makes any sense. Yeah. And the thing in that that I thought was so good is that I don't remember hearing before is that joy is a strategy. Yeah. And I know we've talked about this before, that joy is not dependent on your circumstances. It like um Paul even says that exact thing. My joy is not dependent on my circumstances, whether I'm in prison, like his life was unimparable. But for me, I think I read that Saturday because Sunday I took a little Instagram break for the first time in a long time, and it was great. Oh my gosh, because I had a bad night with kids doesn't mean I have to be grumpy the next day. It's not dependent on how much sleep I got. And I feel like I just went into work on Monday with this lighter fun attitude. And I feel like work has had it's just been a challenging year. Everyone's work has challenges. And so even when I say that, it's not everything, but it there's just some challenging projects, you know, stuff that's all temporary. And I just feel, I don't know, like a better, just like more me. Also, some of it could be too just like the weather changing, you know. Spring. Yeah. But joy is my strategy, was just this new, I don't know, thing of growth that I feel like God is calling me to like not complain, don't be so grumbly. And I also think what we say and what we look for is what we see. And so if you're going into work just being grumpy about everything, that's what you're gonna find problems. Yep. Like talking about problems is what you're gonna get, you know? And I don't know, it's just been a fun thing of two days, and I really do feel just like joy from Jesus.

SPEAKER_00 8:29

I do think one thing to remember is that joy is different than happiness. Yes. Good clarification. And so I think that we strive to always, or when you're talking about joy, people think that that means you're always going to be happy, but it's not the same thing.

SPEAKER_01 8:43

Yeah. I think joy, I gosh, I wish I would have looked at that, but feels like this, and maybe you know, a better definition. To me, the difference is it's just like this deep peace almost. Yeah. Like just experience I don't know how to describe it, like a light. Joy, maybe versus happy is like your emotion.

SPEAKER_00 9:02

It might be so easy to change your mindset on things. So I already told the story in the last podcast, but when Charlie broke that wire and his braces, so it was on a Monday, and Monday was the only day we had nowhere to go after school. And so it was the only day we didn't have running to do. Well, so then I called the orthodontists and they said, Can you come in this afternoon? And I said yes, and so we had to go do that. And he was more so than me. He was in such a terrible mood about having to go. And he even said this was the one day we didn't have to go anywhere. And I said, Well, you could shift that thinking though of thank goodness they had this appointment because it was our one open night. And if it was a different night where you had other things going on, you would have to cancel whatever, you know, he has drama practice, he has other livestock judging. I said you would have had to rearrange those or cancel or let people down, but look it, we could just go because we had this opportunity. Yeah. And so I think you can just try to shift your mindset a little bit in that way of we're real quick when things don't go our way to be really inconvenienced and grumpy about it. Especially when it means nothing.

unknown 10:09

Right.

SPEAKER_01 10:09

Like that was nothing. Right. That was nothing. You're behind like a horse and buggy, and so you're 10 minutes later. Right. Are you uncertain weather? Yeah. You get grumpy about the weather. And it's just so much stuff that doesn't even matter, and we let it take an impact on our mood and our thoughts. And I also think what I'm reminded of too, I had a coworker. Well, this is like another cool thing. Or one of the things I do at work is project management. And what that means is like I'm tasking out the work to my coworkers. And sometimes you almost feel bad asking people to do their job, if that makes any sense. Because it's like, here's your work, especially if it's something they don't want to do. And in particular on the video team, there's some guys who don't like to go film. They just want to edit videos. And like that's just their preference. And this one guy, I was like gearing up because this was a request from a client that was so reasonable. Like, really, what they were asking was like extremely reasonable. And I was just bracing myself for like the pushback. And instead, he was like, Yeah, I would love to do that. This is my job. And I was like, Oh my gosh. People love working with happy people. And no one loves to work with. I was seriously waiting for him to be like, that's ridiculous. I don't want to do that. And it was just like, oh my gosh, this is so refreshing. This is how I should treat everything, like any client request. Like, oh my gosh, I would love to do that. I'm so happy to help. All right. So happy to help. Say it as often as you need to to believe. Yeah. But really that, and it's also like, we're called to serve and to love others well.

SPEAKER_00 11:36

And I don't know. So last year, our my New Year's resolution, so 2025, was to speak more light and truth. And Charlie and I would on the way to school every day, we would say, like, I'm a light. I am going to be a bright light to someone today. I'm going to speak positivity. I'm going to have a great day. This is going to be a great day. And then we the school year ended and we didn't really continue it. But it is kind of a great, easy thing to just when you and you say it out loud. So we're saying it to each other. It's one thing to say it in your head, I think. But when you're saying it out loud, and it was just like a silly thing, it took us no time to say it. And sometimes we would be fighting, we would get in the car in a bad mood, or you know, and he would even turn the radio off and be like, wait, we real quick. Yeah, like we're a light, like we're gonna spread the light today. And I yeah, I think that's a great thing, just choosing that joy. I love that. Yeah, I think it's just intentionality of your thoughts and how you're gonna act.

SPEAKER_01 12:31

Because it it's miserable to just be miserable.

SPEAKER_00 12:33

One thing in that you read too, though, I think, is protecting your joy. Yes. And that is I mean, you've gotta say your no. You gotta say no. Mm-hmm. I think that a really long time ago, I started always thinking that is that if it didn't I used to say if it brought me stress, it was gonna bring my family stress, it's a no. But I think another way to reframe it is unless it's bringing me joy, it's a no. That's not always gonna work. Like we have to work, we have to go to our jobs, right? But sometimes you can realize if you get an invite to do or do something with your family, you're like, this is not something I at all want to do. It's okay to be say no, protect your time, protect your peace. I feel like you taught me that. I've just really believed that. Something I do. Yeah, the power of a no.

SPEAKER_01 13:17

But the power of a no. And this is something I think Jason and I disagree on is like without explanation. Like, I think it's fine to say sorry, that won't work for us. I think the only way to do it, he feels like you have No, we have to tell them why. Like, you can't just say that I'm like, oh, no is actually a complete sentence.

SPEAKER_00 13:34

It's actually kind of me to say the slippery slope of a reason why is so say you say, Okay, somebody invites us to lunch on a Saturday, and I say, Oh, Charlie is going to a friend's that day, and I'll need to a lot of the time and it's then it's a common data ball. It's true, it's true intentions, I think, but they'll say, Well, we could help run them, or because they don't want you to say no, so then they start spinning this, well, you could do this instead, or you know, if you just say no, it's not gonna work for us, then there's no no need for even a conversation of yep, bring your kids or do this.

SPEAKER_01 14:09

Well, and I think like you should not then lie about something. Or like we have something, you're like, you're just making a mess of it. You don't know, just say no things.

SPEAKER_00 14:16

And you're not gonna say, I don't want to come, because that's not nice. So then just nope, not gonna work for us. Sorry. Maybe next time.

SPEAKER_01 14:23

Yeah. I'm with you. Another thing that I just found because so do you know who Jenny Allen is? No, she is, I don't know, just like a big influence in the Christian world. She hosts this gathering every year called If Gathering.

SPEAKER_00 14:38

Oh, I maybe know about that.

SPEAKER_01 14:40

Yeah, I probably have talked about it before. I've gone like once a couple years, not to the whole conference, but Vinyl had hosted something, and then I think I went to something else. But I've listened to her podcast some. She has got a good podcast. She's written a few books that I should listen to. And she spoke at the if gathering. My coworker had just told me about it. I was like, oh, I should listen to some Jenny Allen again. She's great. And the thing I'm leaning into right now is just the free books on audio on Spotify, the free audio books on Spotify.

SPEAKER_00 15:08

Hit the limit. Yes. I didn't just the add-ons I usually do. Because usually that happens when I'm three forced into a book and I'm not waiting for a week to r continue listening.

SPEAKER_01 15:20

Do you feel like that's a little bit scammy to have someone pay for premium and then have to do the add-ons?

SPEAKER_00 15:25

Or whatever. We get it. It's probably a lot of minutes though that they give us, and we're I'm actually not mad.

SPEAKER_01 15:31

It's just I was like, oh, I didn't know there was a limit on that. But it was funny. Anyways, I started her devotional. It's called Stop the Spiral. And it is kind of cute. I've never done an audio devotional, but it's like I just listen, it's four minutes. So I have my kids with me three of the four days that I go to Ashland, so we're not listening to like I tried to do the Bible recap today, and they're like, turn it off, turn something else. Like not fun for them. But the thing today was actually all about negative thoughts and just controlling our thoughts and taking those captive. And she said the stat that 80% of all of our thoughts are negative. That's probably true. I felt like that felt insane to me. Like a slap in the face of seriously, that many. But like I believe it, but it was just like wow. Yeah. And what a sad way. Like, I don't want I don't want to be 80% worrying and complaining all day long in your head. Yeah. Yeah. And I also feel like so much of our worrying is over nothing.

SPEAKER_00 16:27

Like it's over things that won't even happen. Whatever that percentage, it's like massive source light. You worry about things that are never gonna happen.

SPEAKER_01 16:34

Yeah, but it was also just another good, I don't know. I think too, like one, it's almost like she said that the good things of feeding your joy. And I think that's like good friends, reading your Bible, just like the good things. Protecting your peace. Yeah, protecting your peace. So, anyways, that's the area growth for me is joy is my strategy. Here we go.

SPEAKER_00 16:54

I love it.

SPEAKER_01 16:55

It's great.

SPEAKER_00 16:57

Do you have other than just the idea of joy, do you have a particular area of your life that you're I think?

SPEAKER_01 17:02

Still I'm leaning into discipline for that. Yeah. And like I feel like I'm gosh, the thing I'm so frustrated with myself, if we're getting so real, is like, why can I not just make time to exercise? And I don't feel like when I look at my time, I'm like sitting around, you know, it just Yeah, you're not I'm just in a busy season right now. And every time, like if I would just go to bed earlier and then I get up, if I would get up super early, that just feels like every night then someone's up. And it's not even that frequent, but it I don't know. I just am using that as an excuse. So I gotta get something together over here because you just feel so much better. Like you add to your lize regularly and it's just 20 minutes. So I think that's the area of growth I've got to lean into because you just it changes everything. Yeah. And a little yeah, a little bit easier to go on an outside walk soon. And yeah, I've just gotta make it happen. So that's the other thing. But I do feel pretty anchored and trying to make sure disciplined stuff. I feel like financially like still on track, like being disciplined. And what was the other I don't remember. We're still doing our date nights. Does that count? Like a monthly date. I think that's what we're doing this weekend. So this is a little bit last minute and kind of fun. I do feel like, I don't know if you feel this way, maybe, with a husband who just works a lot. It is like fun to take advantage of a trip, even if it is like related to farm stuff. And that's us this weekend. Jason has an animal, a heifer, and this cow sale in Kentucky. And so last minute just he and I are going. No kids. Is it two nights? Can't wait. One night. One night. So we'll leave Friday afternoon and then come back like late Saturday night. Yeah. But we'll have eight hours in the car together with no kids. Yeah, that's a great catch-up time. And just like how fun a hotel is and breakfast and dinner and like I just can't wait. Just land about the days. Yeah. So it'll be so fun. That's what I'm looking forward to. What are you looking forward to?

SPEAKER_00 18:55

My mom's coming down this weekend.

SPEAKER_01 18:57

I don't know if I knew this.

SPEAKER_00 18:59

So her birthday, this is gonna air late, but her birthday is March 9th, which is Monday. And we always would go to her for her birthday. We also would always go to her for minor Charlie's birthday. And we've not been. And the boys are booked. Just because of sports, right? Well, it's not even just sports. They're so busy. Yeah. So I had this weekend blocked. Like, this is the weekend we're gonna go see mom. We're not gonna make any plans. Well, Sam has a band concert on Saturday night. And it was like, okay, then no big deal. Then we'll just go Friday. Well, Charlie has a livestock judging king that he has to be at the school at 6 a.m. on Saturday. So it's not even like we could go and be back at 4 a.m. Yeah. And then Charlie's acolyte at church. And so every it was just impossible to so I called her and I said, Would you just want to come here? Because I am not busy. Right. The boys are. I'll have to run boys some, but I really don't have a whole lot going on. And she w was just for it. I think it's hard for her to leave her house. There's such a comfort there. And with her mobility, it's hard to be other at somewhere else. But we've talked some things through. We have plans for stuff. And she's feeling better with the warmer weather. That's, you know, she's doing so much better than she did in the winter. And so it's just gonna be so fun. I just can't wait to have my mom here.

SPEAKER_01 20:15

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 20:16

I'm actually picking her up Thursday because my dad has a doctor's appointment in Cleveland that I'm gonna meet him for. And so I'm gonna be in Cleveland anyway. So I could just go get her. And I said, Would you just want to come? And then Charlie has the busiest weekend ever. So I said, Do you want to just skip school and hang with grandma on Friday? Yeah, because my mom will be here and I'll have to go to work. And he loves that idea. And so we're we're putting that together. I think it'll be really special for them to have that time. And oh my gosh, I love that so much. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:47

Happy birthday, Louise.

SPEAKER_00 20:48

Yes. Gosh. That would be great. Did you get a cake? Are you making a cake? I think I'm gonna make one. I was gonna maybe do Miss Amy's bakery, but sometimes it's so fun to do a homemade cake. Oh yeah, I love making a homemade cake. Yeah. I found a recipe that was red velvet, but it's with the pudding mix, and you make it, you add in all the extra stuff. The recipe I found was like for a bunch cake, which is really fun to make a bunch cake. So maybe that's what I'll do.

SPEAKER_01 21:10

But Cosh, I love a bunch cake. And then you like warm the ice and like drizzle it all over.

SPEAKER_00 21:15

That's kind of it's like a cream cheese frosting, is the one that I found. So I think that's probably what I'll do. And then I don't know what all will cook or what yeah, what we're gonna get into. But is there a fun cocktail you know you're making already? Well, If because it's supposed to be really nice this weekend. I kind of thought it was it margarita weather. Oh yeah. I love a salt rim with margarita, and my mom doesn't really drink anymore, but so maybe I can make her just a mountain. Yeah. And it'll just be fun. Brian works the whole weekend Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and it's kind of nice really because it was just be us. Yeah, it was the girls. Annie will come. Right. Annie will be here. Yeah. Yeah. She's actually she took off work Friday, and so she'll be here some too. What are we gonna do about time change? This week. I know. Here we go. Lose an hour. No, but this is a good one. This is a hot take. This time change is a fun one in the sense of the now the days. Lighter. Yeah. Yeah. Or not longer. We just leave it an hour. Yeah. It goes back to dark mornings for us. You're it's light for you probably still when you go to work, but yeah, we are at school at seven that it'll be dark again. We were just actually saying in the last week or so, oh, it's so nice that like the sun's up. I know. And then it'll go back to being dark. But I do like that it's light, late at night. When you can have supper and then I can send the kids out for chores and they'll stay out, play football in the yard, and yeah, just burn off that evening energy. It just completely changes the way the day goes, I think.

SPEAKER_01 22:40

Yeah, I'm with you. Kids need to be outside. I need to be outside. Yes. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 22:46

Okay, we do have a prayer for today. Lord, thank you for new seasons. If you're calling us to grow, give us courage to say yes, prune what needs to go, strengthen what needs to deepen, and help us trust that you are always at work beneath the surface. Make us more like you in this season. Amen.

SPEAKER_01 23:05

Amen.