Don't Make Your Divorce Public Property

If you’re sitting on the biggest news of your life right now — trying to figure out who to tell, what to share, and when — this episode is for you. Before you say a word to anyone, listen to this first.

In this episode, Augusta shares one of the most important lessons she learned the hard way: the moment you announce, you lose control of your narrative. She breaks down why the urge to share big news is completely human, why acting on it too soon can cost you more than you realize, and how to protect your story while you’re still writing it.

You’ll learn why the pride of choosing yourself is valid and how it can send you to the wrong rooms, why mutual friends are a complicated first call, how to decide who actually deserves access to your story, and a journal prompt to help you understand what you were really looking for when you overshared.

You don’t need a crowd to validate a decision that was always yours to make.

📓 This week’s journal prompt: Who have I told that I wish I hadn’t — and what was I really looking for in that moment?

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You don’t need a storm. You just need a gust of WIN.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

A Gust of Win | Hosted by Augusta Joshua
Rebuilding. Reclaiming. Rising.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

What happened next taught me one of the most important lessons of my life. And today I'm passing it straight to you because I don't want you to make that same mistake. Welcome to August of Wind. I'm Aphasta Joshua, and this is where we rebuild, reclaim, and rise after life's toughest moments. If you're on your journey of healing, rediscovery, or rebuilding your life from the ground up, you're in the right place. You're listening to August of Wind, where women learn to rebuild, reclaim, and rise. I'm Augusta Joshua, your resilience advocate. Today's episode is for every woman who is sitting on the biggest news of her life and trying to figure out what to do with it, who to tell, when to tell them, how much to share. And I'm here to tell you before you do anything, listen to this first. Because I learned this lesson the hard way, so you don't have to. By the end of the episode, you're going to understand why the urge to announce is completely natural and why acting on it too soon can cost you more than you realize. You're going to learn who actually deserves to know your business and when. And you're going to have a framework, a clear one for protecting your story while you're still writing it. So I need to start here because I don't want you to walk away from this episode thinking that what I did was foolish. It wasn't. It was human. I spent years in a situation that cost pieces of myself. And the day I finally said enough, the day I chose me, I was proud of myself. I was genuinely deeply proud. And that pride made me want to share it with everyone: associates, friends of friends, people that I've only known for a short time, mom friends I recently met through my son's school, anyone who would listen. Because I wanted someone to say, Augusta, I'm so happy for you. You did the right thing. Congratulations. Now, although that did happen, people did congratulate me and whatnot. Here's what I didn't understand in that moment. Not everyone you tell is capable of giving you what you're looking for. Some people don't know how to celebrate a woman choosing herself because they haven't done it yet. Some people are too close to your ex to be neutral. And some people, honestly, just wanted the information. Now, before you share your news, ask yourself this. Am I telling this person because they've earned access to my story? Or am I telling them because I need someone to witness this moment and they happen to be available? So when I told people, and I told a number of people, here's what started to happen. People who knew both me and my ex began choosing sides quietly without telling me. I find out through a comment, silence, or a shift in energy. My story started traveling. People I hadn't told were suddenly aware of details I only share with a few. My business, the most personal and painful chapter of my life, had become a topic of conversation in rooms I wasn't in. And I had handed them the material. Now, the moment you announce, you lose control of the narrative. Your story is no longer yours alone. People will retell it through their own lens with their own bias and with the details that may not even be accurate. And you can't take it back. Mutual friends are a particular kind of tricky because they knew both of you. They have history with both of you. And the moment you tell them, even the ones with good intentions, you're putting them in a position. Now some will handle it with grace, others will not. You often won't know which is which until it's too late. Think about who in your circle has, well, knows both you and your ex. Those people are not the first people you tell. It's not because they're bad people, it's because you are protecting your story while you still have a chance.

SPEAKER_00 4:27

Take a breath. Let what you heard settle. This is Augusta Flynn.

SPEAKER_01 4:35

So, what do you do with the news that's so big when you can't tell everyone? So, right now, before this episode ends, I want you to think of one person, just one. Someone who has shown you, not just told you that they can be trusted with something this big. That's your person. So start there. Here's what I need you to walk away with today. One, the pride you felt when you chose yourself is valid. That feeling isn't the problem. The problem is when we let that pride send us to the wrong rooms looking for a celebration that some people aren't equipped to give. Two, announcing too soon means handing your narrative to people before you've even had a chance to own it yourself. You gotta let it settle because once your story travels, it travels without you. Three, one or two trusted people is not a small support system. It's a protected and sacred one, and that makes a whole world of a difference. So before you tell anyone, run through these questions. Has this person shown me they can keep something secret consistently? Do they have any connection to my ex that could complicate their loyalty? Am I telling them because they've earned it or because I need someone right now? If the answer to that last question is the second one, call your therapist. Process this before you announce it. And here's your journal prompt for this week. Who have I told that I wish I hadn't? Not to carry regret, but to understand what I was really looking for in that moment. I did that looking back on hindsight, and I truly understand why I told the people that I did. And that's why it's so important to really sit and process big news before you tell anyone. If this episode spoke to you, if it named something you've been sitting with, share with a woman who needs to hear it today. Follow the show so you never miss an episode. Leave a review. It helps more women find this community. Before you go, here is your win for today. You have grounded yourself in truth, that your pride in choosing yourself was never wrong. The timing of who you shared it with, that's what we're adjusting. You have begun to unlearn the belief that you need a crowd to validate a decision that was always yours to make. You have strengthened your discernment, learning to ask not just who is available, but who has actually earned the right to your story. And you have taken action. Even if that action is simply deciding to protect your narrative while you're still in the middle of writing it. That is your win. Worthiness, identity, new beginning. Next week on August and Wind, we're going to talk about what happens after you tell people, the ones who expected to show up and the silence they gave you instead. If this episode gave you a little gust of wind today, share with someone who needs a reminder that rebuilding is possible. Follow a gust of wind wherever you listen to podcasts. And if this episode spoke to you, leave a review so more women can find this space. Remember, you're a resilient already one. Now it's time to live like it. Until next time, keep rising.