Boom Roasted with Stephanie H S2 EP 6

Meet Stephanie Himmel, steph #2, in the non-profit/ministry world. She she shares how her faith and family brought her through to serving the kingdom.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:29

All right, guys, welcome to Boom Roasted here with Stephanie and Stephanie. This is Stephanie Himmel. If you listen to my last podcast, it was also a Stephanie that we are mutually friends with because of our community service work. And so I told her that when she's not here, I call her Himmel. That's what I call you. It's just Himmel. And so, of course, that's not what I call you when we're sitting face to face, but that's what I call you when you're not here. Because there is so many Stephanie's and uh we're gonna get t-shirts. I'm working on it.

SPEAKER_02 0:59

Yeah, I was curious if that was a prerequisite to being on the podcast. Glad to know that it's not, but yeah, good company.

SPEAKER_00 1:06

Exactly. So it is more about um the creativity of this area, like there's so many outlets for it, but it's just interesting that there's so many Stephanies in the nonprofit world. Yeah. And I was telling um Dunker, I was telling her that when I was growing up, there was no other Stephanie's. So I knew no one Stephanie.

SPEAKER_02 1:28

I had a few in in actually sandwiched. There was one above me in high school and one in the grade behind me, but we generally were all in the same space together. And then I navigated through most of my adult life, like just being the only Stephanie. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:44

I thought it was super cool when I watched the full house and there was a Stephanie on the full house. I was like, oh course, there's Stephanie's. So we're having coffee together today, and we chose Hebrews. Yes, we did. And I put mine in a cup because I'm lame and my hands were cold.

SPEAKER_02 1:56

That's fair.

SPEAKER_00 1:57

So what did we have? I forget what it was called.

SPEAKER_02 1:59

Uh cookie butter brew, iced, it's iced to match the weather with cold foam.

SPEAKER_00 2:08

Yes, it has cookie butter and I think caramel and vanilla in it. But I got it because the cookie butter, because I'm a big fan. But Hebrews is also one of my favorite places in town. So I think it's delicious, even if I had to drink it in a button. That's right.

SPEAKER_02 2:21

Yeah. My hands, my hands are always cold, so I probably can't tell the difference.

SPEAKER_00 2:26

Yeah. So, and I um, yeah, I don't, I should have gone with hot probably today. So I do typically do ice in the afternoon, but I did have sweet because I want to taste the coffee more than the sugar. That's fair. But um, I can't completely do without the sugar. But anyway, so that's our coffee today. So I wanted to talk a little bit, Stephanie, about like we met, you were working at Douglas when I met you, and which is also a community service. And now you are working with Faith Christian Church. So tell me how you got into the nonprofit world.

SPEAKER_02 3:00

I by chance, I suppose we could call it chance, um, we had moved to let me back up. I'm gonna just go kind of from the top because it's chronological in my head. My husband and I got married in 2019, um, just before COVID moved into the world. And so we had a really nice in-person wedding in October of 19. And then his father, um, who had just before we got together been diagnosed with a very rare form of dementia, um, started staying at our house more. And we kind of determined that maybe the best option for our family was to move to Illinois and to his home with him, um, just to keep him out of the nursing home a little bit longer. Um, at the time that he went into the nursing home, which was not even a full year beyond the time we moved from Hannibal, um, he was only 57. And so gosh, yeah. Um when it was time to come back to Hannibal, I needed to find a job. And Douglas was hiring at the time uh for a CASA volunteer coordinator. And so um, I've always enjoyed working with children. I oddly enjoy the court system, the judicial system. And so felt like advocacy was something that would be very fulfilling for me. Um, I like to kind of give my two cents. And so that just it seemed like a fit. Yeah. Um, and so that's what landed me at Douglas. And then within a few months, there was an opening in the community outreach director position. And I think they knew I was just crazy enough to say, yeah, I think that sounds like a good fit. Um, but that's really how I got started. I just was in the right place at the right time and have a tendency to say, yeah, I think I can do that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:41

So well, tell me about CASA a little more. So I know that it's connected with like fosters. So, what did you do in that role?

SPEAKER_02 4:50

Yeah. So CASA stands for court appointed special advocate. So as a CASA, you actually are more like an agent of the court, like you're sworn in. Um, it's really a trusted, I think it's a very trusted role, very important role. Um, and so the CASA is unique in that structure and in that system because the only objective of the CASA is to advocate and be the voice of the child, right? There's lawyers for bioparents, there's advocates for foster families, there's, I mean, everyone kind of has their role. Caseworkers wear so many hats. And so the CASA really is able to look and say, hey, this is what the child has told me. This is what they are saying they want. And there's really points in which the CASA is able to kind of change the trajectory of that case because they're coming from that very specific angle.

SPEAKER_00 5:47

So which really fits into like a person of faith. Yeah. Advocating for the ones without a voice. Without a voice. Yes, absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 5:55

The older children can sometimes go to court, but like the case that I was on, they were young enough, they never stepped foot in the courtroom. And so when the judge is hearing from so many different people, I mean that CASA really is the opportunity to be the voice for someone who may never step foot in front of the judge, who ultimately is that final stop of justice for them.

SPEAKER_00 6:18

Yeah. And what happens to them is what we're supposed to be advocating for anyway. Yeah. So that's awesome. So then you moved into the role as like the outreach coordinator in there. And then what led you to ministry?

SPEAKER_02 6:32

I feel like I've always been in ministry in the sense of in my normal world when I was like just working. For a long time, I worked at the eye doctor. And so after I came to Christ and decided to live my life in a different way, um, I just would pray that God would give me eyes to see people like that just needed extra love. And so every day before I would go into that office, I would just pray, like, God, give me eyes to see people how you see them today. And it was really, it was just really cool. Um, because then that would happen. And so I would have opportunities to pray with people in the exam room. Um, because you're like chit-chatting when you're typing in. And I was kind of joked like it was the calming gray walls, but I know that it was the spirit of God. Absolutely. Allowing people to know that in that space, for whatever amount of time that I was in there with them, that I was listening, that I cared and that they mattered. Um they will come for an eye appointment and maybe get a little bit more than they bargained for. But um, so that that's always how I tried to conduct myself. So to be an official ministry, I suppose I kind of fell on my lap. My husband um was called to First Christian Church in August of 20. I'm sorry, 22, I think.

SPEAKER_00 8:00

He's a music minister.

SPEAKER_02 8:01

Yes, yes. And so they were moving towards a more contemporary um style of worship. And that's why we went. And then there were some staffing changes that happened at the church, and um, a few people came to me and said, like, we really think that you would do a fantastic job with the youth. And I thought, I also think that I will really love to be doing something like that. And so I started on a very part-time just to make sure that the weekly youth meetings were. So yeah, I was still working at Douglas. Toys for Tots was just around the riverbend, and there was no way that I could say, see you later before that big project was completed. And so um knew that full-time maybe was an option, but also had never vocationally done ministry. And so it was kind of a time of transition. Um, but then I realized within the denomination that there was a commissioning process and not only a commissioning process, but that I had landed within a denomination that was willing to receive the full scope of the gifts and abilities that God has given me. Um, and so what does that mean? It means that they let me be a pastor.

SPEAKER_00 9:12

What female, you're in your femaleness, you're allowed to be a pastor. Wow.

SPEAKER_02 9:19

And that's not to say that it doesn't come, as you know, right with this own unique subset of difficulties. Um because much like a unicorn, people think we don't exist. Um, so it's interesting.

SPEAKER_00 9:33

But yeah, 75% of the congregation exist as women, but yes, maybe not ministers. Yes, yeah, yeah. And I'm so grateful, and I know you are, to have to work within, you know, with a pastor that is so supportive, because that's definitely been the case for me as well. Absolutely not always, but here I have never not been supported by my pastor who is male. And so I am so grateful for that because I know that's not everybody's story. And it doesn't mean, like you said, there isn't this whole other thing and these other processes you have to work through as females. Um, but like you and I taught the other day, we're not asking for permission. The Lord's already given us that. And so then we just operate where he opens the door. And I think it's really, it's really cool how you were saying that about when you weren't um vocational as a full-time minister. You know, you're working in an eye doctor's place, but you still were doing ministry. Yeah. And I think that's like that is a lot of the excuses that people hear, like, oh, well, I'm not a minister, or or you know, I don't have time because I have this other job. But it's like, it should be a part of all of our lives.

SPEAKER_02 10:38

Especially if you're working some, if you see a human being in your day-to-day life, or even like if you're remote, if you are interfacing in any capacity with a human, they're going through stuff. Exactly. They're going through it. Yeah. And if they're not, give me their number. I want to figure out what they have figured out, right?

SPEAKER_00 10:56

Like, no doubt. What have you got going on? Exactly. Well, and in Revelations, it says that it's by the blood of the Lamb and the words of our testimony that we overcome. Yeah. So, like sharing our testimony actually is carrying us into overcoming. Yeah. And so to withhold that wherever you are, whether it is at a doctor's office or or you know, at the local coffee shop or whatever, you know, because I've had those seasons. I went to school for ministry and totally thought I was going to step out of college and be like working in full-time ministry. Here I am with the degree and all the things. Jesus, take me where you will, you know. And then he's like, go back to retail. Like, what are you saying? Yeah. And I really was upset for a while. I was really upset about it. And I was just like, well, why did I go? Why did I work so hard? Why did I get I even graduated a semester early because I'm like, I'm doing this, like this is what we're doing, you know. And then I went back into retail, but the Lord was, He was helping me to grow in some areas that I needed to grow in before I could be in full time. Yeah. And part of that was recognizing no matter where I am, I'm a minister. Yes. Because I'm a disciple of Christ. Yes. Not because of whatever my label is as my, you know, calling or or my career or whatever it is, but like, and I was able to serve people in that capacity, you know? And so I just think that like understanding that that we carry the gospel with us wherever we go, um, that it's not limited to that. And that's how we make disciples of all men. Yes. And so I was listening to this guy the other day. He was talking about discipleship specifically. And they're like, Well, what does your discipleship program look like? He goes, There is no program. Yeah. And they're like, What do you mean? He's like, I go to the gym, I invite somebody with me. Yeah. And I share my life with them. Yeah. He said, I go to you go to lunch. How many times do you go to lunch a week? Well, take somebody with you, like, share your life, share your story, share the gospel wherever you go. That's discipleship.

SPEAKER_02 12:51

Make space for the spirit of God to flow through you. Because at the end of the day, that's the ministry, right? Is not to be, this is something that I've had to flesh out being newer in vocational ministry. Like, what does it mean to be a pastor, right? When there's a lot of comparison and wanting to do it well, and also going, my story doesn't always look as neat or fit into the same kind of boxes. So, so then how do I do this thing? And so I really struggled for a time with wanting to steward well this being a pastor, but also I don't know how to be any other way than just myself. And I like to be transparent and I like to be vulnerable because no matter how well I can speak or how nice things can fall out of my mouth, like that is totally the grace of God.

SPEAKER_00 13:50

Right.

SPEAKER_02 13:51

When people tell me, I love to listen to you talk, that's like that is so mystify so mystifying to me that that that God is able to make that happen. So I think for people, they can look at folks with the gift of gab or pastors that can do this or that. And it and we can all find reasons to be discouraged that we're not, you know, fill in the blank. But all we have to be is attentive and willing.

SPEAKER_00 14:16

Yeah, and I think like not allowing that thief of comparison to come and steal anything away. Like we're unique on purpose. Yeah. So use that uniqueness to do what you do and wherever that is. And I think that's the thing, like, and and trying to understand like our stories is what make us unique. Our journeys is what connects us with other people. And and we had talked about, uh I don't even know, what was that meeting we were at together the other day?

SPEAKER_02 14:42

Yeah, so it's a follow-up, and I'm sorry, Denise, that I can't rattle off exactly what but it's community something. It's a follow-up to the community health improvement plan, which was like a really big effort by a multitude of organizations and places. And so the United Way is spearheading just kind of a follow-up effort to make sure that um each of the core capacities that have been determined as really important community needs are being followed up with by multiple players by having as many people around the table as possible.

SPEAKER_00 15:18

And you were sharing specifically about your efforts with the warming shelters. And we were talking about like in that meeting, um, about how you had this revelation basically that it wouldn't have been for family that could have been you. Totally. So like tell us that part of your story because I think that's where people miss like the parallelness, if that's even a word, of how the people we were walking alongside of. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 15:43

Yeah. So I grew up in a really like by every sense, like a normal family. We were involved in church. I was shown all of the things, and then I went to college and just kind of went. I just had a time. I had a time, and then I moved back to Hannibal, and then I was just around new things. And I started on the path of substance use and drinking so much that I really made a mess. I really made a mess in my life. Um, yeah, like to the point where I didn't have a key to my parents' house. Like they took my key from me. Uh, my younger sister, they put doorknobs, they're still there. I like when I'm doorknobs that like lock, so I couldn't, because I would go in, I would generally be on different types of pills that kind of take you out of your head. And I would just pilfer, I would just pilfer through their stuff. And so the family relationship was just really strained, as it is when you're talking. They didn't trust me, rightfully so. Um so fast forward, uh, I had two children. I think I kind of joke, like, I think I was that person when you see their pregnancy announcement, you go, ooh, okay. Um, and but even then, like my my mom received that. My my mom and they received that, I think, in hindsight very well. Um, and just knew that they had a job as grandparents to step up and and help in a different way. So it would have been 2015. I finally kind of came to the end of myself and in a moment of of real desperation, a very low moment. I myself was really on the brink of of taking my own life. I just really felt the weight of the choices I'd been making. Um, I started to perceive myself maybe from the outside, and I thought about I thought about my mom. Though she's not perfect, and she'll be the first one to tell you that. Um, one of my favorite things is to be associated as her daughter. And so yeah, I and I thought about my very small children then what it would be like down the road. And I wanted people to be able to come to my house. I wanted their friends to be able to come over, and I knew that that meant that I needed as their mother to pick a different path. God started softening my heart, and so that ultimately led me out of the relationship with their father and put me at home with my parents because I had no money and nowhere else to go. Um so that's how we ended up there. Yeah, but it it didn't stop at just providing housing for us. Um, they paid for daycare so that I could go be gainfully employed, because otherwise every penny that I made would have gone to childcare. So it wouldn't have made sense to work. I I couldn't afford anything else but child care. So they paid for childcare so I could go out and have a job and build a career, uh, which was at IEC at the time, International Eye Care Center. Um, my mom would say things like, hey, maybe we should do a bath every other night. I mean, she just and she didn't make me feel stupid for not having a routine. She didn't make me feel like I was failing. Um, she just modeled and did and showed me um how to love and take care of my kids.

SPEAKER_00 19:21

Well, I take them out of the equation. What would your life look like trying to come out of addiction?

SPEAKER_02 19:27

I have no idea. I have no idea. And and even in the sense of like, okay, I could have qualified and moved into um housing. Um, but then again, at that point, maybe I would have had subsidy for daycare, maybe not. Or it would have just been, I move and I do whatever I can to provide for my children so that they don't get taken for neglect when really I'm just poor and need help. You know?

SPEAKER_01 19:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:55

Um, yeah, I just I can't fathom what that would look like.

SPEAKER_00 19:59

I think so too, so very similar background, like amazing parents, still together. My parents, this August will be together 60 years. That's awesome. Yeah. And so they've been together since they were 15 and 16 years old. And the faith-filled home, like super secure, never once had to think about was there gonna be food at my home? Was I safe? That never crossed my mind to the point I had friends that were going through struggling. Like I couldn't even, my little brain could not imagine other people weren't having the same experience in their homes. It took me a long time in working in what I work in now to be like, wow, like I was so blinded because I was so well taken care of in in a good way, but it's it makes me sad now to know that other people weren't walking that same journey. But then I start making a mess of my own life, yeah, and um need a soft place to go. And I always knew in the back of my head I could go home. Yeah. Home. I can go home. Home. Yes. Yes. And so, you know, I married young, married um a guy that was an addict, and he was violent, and that was my life for about seven years, just kind of in and out of that. Um, it was getting gradually worse. And um, I chose to leave about seven years in, and there was no question where I was gonna go. I was gonna go to my mom and dad's house, you know. I'm here in my early 20s, um, and I'm going home. And it took a lot of humility, but never was it a question if I had a place to go. Yes, or if they would help me. Yes. And so, and through all of that, even in the seven years when I'm completely my life is an absolute mess, and everyone knew it. And um, they still, if I wouldn't have had my parents through those times because he wouldn't work, I was the only one working and taking care of the home. And so I couldn't afford child care. Yeah. Like, but my mom was a second mom to my kid. There's no doubt about it. And if she wouldn't have been there, I don't know. I don't know what we would have done, you know, live in a tent somewhere. I don't that was my car. Yeah. Like what would have happened if I couldn't have worked and paid our bills and kept a house and all the things. And so I'm listening the other day to this young woman's story of abuse, similar situation, married young, you know, the sky's violent. She needs to get out. But she didn't have what I had. Right. She had no one. Right. And so she stays, you know, and almost dies. And I just think, what's the difference between she and I? And the only difference was my family. Absolutely. And my fa in the faith of my family, you know. And so I just think about, gosh, like that makes such a huge difference. And not only did you have that and did I have it, you broke the cycle of what was happening in your life. So your kids can now have that.

SPEAKER_02 22:46

Sure, trying. I'm trying.

unknown 22:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:48

No, I hope I hope your kids never have to come back home with you. But the chances are pretty high because that happens to a lot of people.

SPEAKER_02 22:53

My oldest is kind of making a plan out of it. He's like, you know, I could just stay here until I'm. And my husband, bless him. He's like, You won't, you boys are welcome in our home whenever you need to come home. And so knowing that piece of my story, and even my husband's knowing how foundational and important it is to have a home and a place to fall back on. Um, we want to at the very least be able to do that for the boys. Absolutely. For our children. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:22

Yeah. And living in the world that you and I live in, um, in ministry and in community service work, like you see the difference it makes. Yes. To have a community and to have a support system, it can be what changes everything. Yes. And so, I mean, it could have been the difference between me staying in a violent situation and dying.

SPEAKER_02 23:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:42

Like not having, and that's happening. That's happening to other people. Yes. You know? And so understanding what that means to work through our own garbage. Yeah. Because in the own entrapments that we set for ourselves. Yeah. Because oftentimes it's us. Yes. Um, and realizing that, okay, like I can change this and I can move forward. But also you and I working in these community settings and working in church settings, like being that support to people who don't have that support because you realize how important it was, even though we didn't have to live through what they're living through, because we had that support. But now we can be that for other people. And a lot of people make excuses about, you know, well, my what does my story even mean? Or what can I even do? But I'm just like, be constant. Yes. Like if you didn't have this grand story of coming out of addiction or abuse of great. Right.

SPEAKER_02 24:33

Seriously, congratulations. That's like, I think sometimes, and I'm I've been mindful of this from the jump because I I could I could put mine out and it's like poster child, you could make a movie out of it, it'd be lifetime. That's fantastic. We live in a Hollywood culture. Sure. But the Bible and and the faith tradition that we have is full of people who just in regular, ordinary moments, committed to faithfully follow God. And so I never want anyone to feel like they need to blow their life up or wreck it in order to have this really like really redemptive story. Yeah. Because anytime that someone chooses to love someone else and chooses to live into the kingdom of God, like that is a major redemptive moment. Right? Like, no matter how you do that, that's a moment.

SPEAKER_00 25:29

Well, and it it just reveals to other people that it's possible. Yes. They're not like this unicorn, you know, there it is possible to live for Christ your whole life and to choose to live according to his commandments and surrender yourself to him and live out the benefits of what that means. Yeah. And not have to go through what we went through. So I think that like those people too, like, don't make the excuse that I just don't have a story or I can't connect with people. Some people are just looking for that warm and fuzzy. They're looking for that person who was constant that could be a solid mentor, that can show you, like your mother did, like, hey, so what about bathtub? Yeah. You know? And so, like, because they've lived that life of being disciplined with what they've done, they can offer that place too. So I think like bringing them to the table too, and not making them feel like, oh, I'm not like them. I've never done drugs or whatever. Like, okay, great. Praise God. Yeah. Praise God for you. Yes. You know. And I think like understanding that and being able to share that helps people break through with that excuse. So, like, the whole premise of the show is to roast people's excuses. And I think our lives like have been a testament of that. Like, even though it took us a little bit, sure, you know, because it took me a long bit. But like understanding that we can roast all those excuses and say, okay, whatever the rest of my life looks like. Yeah. Like wherever I've been, whatever my story is, like I'm gonna, I'm going to not make excuses anymore for not doing anything to Jesus. Because if I've been so gracious to be lived this life before the Lord and not stumble like some people have, or if I've stumbled the whole way, like either one of those can do great things for the kingdom of God.

SPEAKER_02 27:08

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 27:09

Because what he spoke over us when we were born never changes.

SPEAKER_02 27:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:12

It never changes.

SPEAKER_02 27:13

There's no the the qualifiers are things that we put on ourselves or we put on other people. That's right. Right. Um, God does not do that to us.

SPEAKER_00 27:21

He doesn't do it. And I think that that's the enemy always trying to tell us that we're less than or things disqualify us. And the answer is no, it doesn't. And I think that's why there's so many stories in the Bible of people who messed up a lot. A lot, yeah. And so why if it was supposed to be this life of perfection where we never stumble, why not just have those stories in the Bible? But he didn't. He had people who were hot heads and people who couldn't talk right, and people who were unfaithful and you know, full of pride and all the things, you know, and the story in the Bible repeats the same story that God is bigger than all of that and he redeems all of it. Yes. Amen. That is it. So I think that's a great place to stop. Yeah. We're gonna have to talk again. We'll have to. We'll have to, because I have a lot. I got a lot to say. Yeah. Anytime. I got a lot to say. Well, and I think like uh the conversation about women in ministry is one worth having too. I agree. Um, so maybe we can kind of process through that a little more because I think some women need to hear that. And men need to hear that. Yes, because we are all laboring together.

SPEAKER_02 28:25

Right. We are together moving towards the kingdom of God, right? On earth as it is in heaven. Bring it down. We pray that I on I got it tattooed on my hand, actually, thy kingdom come. Part of my faith tradition now is we do say the Lord's Prayer every week. And I love it because it really helps to center me and to remind me what Jesus told me to pray. And and it helps me go, okay. No, I believe that this earth can and should look different because we've been called to usher in the presence of God, the presence of his kingdom. And we can do that anywhere we are because it's not contingent on us.

SPEAKER_00 29:04

Right, right. That's exactly right. So yeah, I think that's I think that's definitely a worthy conversation that we need to talk more about. But today, I'm really glad everybody tuned in to listen to Stephanie Himel and myself on Boom Roasted. So if you haven't checked us out before, you can like us on YouTube or Facebook or Buzz Sprout, all the places. So we're glad that you came today to listen to our conversation about Jesus and not making any excuses. So roast those excuses.