Boom Roasted with Stephanie Sanders S2 EP7

Meet my friend Stephanie Sanders . She works with a local non-profit called FACT, she assist men and women coming out of prison. She also homeschools 4 wonderful kids. She is changing the world both at home and with her non-profit work.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:29

Hey guys, so here we are on Boom Roasted. I'm Stephanie, and I'm with Stephanie Sanders. Um, she's with the Fact Agency. We're gonna talk a little more about that. Yes, this is three Stephanie's. I have said this, all nonprofit people that do amazing things are named Stephanie. That's right. Because there's a lot of us. And um, that's why, like I said before, like I usually just call all of you by your last names when I'm talking to other people. Otherwise, they're like Stephanie Who? You know? Yeah. So today, she's not a coffee drinker, guys. I'm not. Please don't put anything negative in the comments. She's drinking hot tea. What flavor did you end up getting?

SPEAKER_02 1:08

I did the strawberry flavor.

SPEAKER_00 1:09

So she did, uh she did have hot tea and not coffee. I even said her the message because I always ask my guests, like, what do you want to drink? And she was like, uh, I don't do coffee. No, thank you to coffee, but I will drink hot tea. I judged her a little, but then we moved on. But I'm drinking a shaken expresso today. Okay. So even though you're not a coffee drinker, the process is really interesting. Okay. So and I'm gonna share a video about it. But you basically drop the shot, a hot shot, and then you shake it until it foams, and then add it to your ice along with whatever flavor I used, caramel today, and then you add your milk to it. The difference in it, because it's my favorite drink at Starbucks, and I feel like it's the one they kind of are consistent no matter where you go. Okay, but it keeps the strength of the espresso. So a lot of times with lattes, I feel like you're just drinking like flavored milk basically, but and I need to taste it. Yeah. So I feel like that this like maintains the strength of it somehow when in the shaking process. So anyway, that's my favorite.

SPEAKER_02 2:06

But I'm glad I'm happy for you.

SPEAKER_00 2:08

You're happy for me? She doesn't want it, but she's happy for me. But yeah, so that's what we're doing today is as enjoying drinks together and um talking about nonprofit work and homeschooling, yes, and Jesus.

SPEAKER_02 2:24

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 2:24

So all of those are combined for us because we are women of faith. And so you are with an agency called FACT. So tell me about that.

SPEAKER_02 2:33

Okay, so FACT stands for Families and Communities Together. I've been with FACT for now six years, and we are in our rebidding year. That means we pretty much have to rewrite our grant. Oh, goodness. And so we are hopeful. We are very hopeful. We were invited to write, so we were like, that's a good sign. Right. Um, but pretty much what I do is help um anyone who's on probation paroles in our county, um, which is within our district, and I pretty much help them get any basic items that they need. Uh, clothing, birth certificate, um, some things for like glasses, rent, um, emergency housing, things like that.

SPEAKER_00 3:07

Yeah. Now, dentures sometimes because we do that.

SPEAKER_02 3:12

Um, and sometimes we've helped with um some really weird things, like medical things that I wouldn't have thought that we would help with. So, you know, you just gotta put in a referral.

SPEAKER_00 3:24

And it's basically tell me why it's made like what is that grant specifically for? I know it's for that people group, but what are they hoping like to be able to do for people in that group?

SPEAKER_02 3:34

So our our real hope is really to make sure people stay on the right track. Um, a lot of times people come out, they can't get access to things like housing or just a birth certificate or a driver's license. Yeah, they don't have any family help or they don't really have any community help. So that's where our grant is really unique. It comes in and says, okay, you want your ID, we can get you an ID. Now you want a driver's license, let's go get you a driver's license. Uh, we have paid for permits before. Um, we provide like landlord lists and help them go through the process of getting an apartment or anything like that. Um, and it's just kind of to be that financial support for them, which most of them do not have. And so it's a good way to say, we want you to stay on the right track and we don't want to shoot you down. We want to make sure that we can uplift you and get you to where you need to be.

SPEAKER_00 4:25

Yeah. And I think too, something that a lot of people don't know is um if they have felonies, if I'm correct, they can't get food stamps. Correct. Correct. So they they're not eligible for that. So just like a person coming out of jail, trying to get their first job, you know, trying to get on their feet. And then it's just like, because a lot of those, if they don't have family, you know, they're supposed to have a family plan when they get out of jail. Yep, but many have burnt their bridges so much. And I'm sure that that's a difficult step to figure out what to do from there. And then on top of that, then I can't get food stamp help. So I'm having to figure out how to do all of this on my own. And many that have been lost in addiction, like they have no life skills. So it's um kind of setting up for failure a lot of times just to kind of push them out. So, I mean, we've definitely referred people to you guys for that program or have gotten help for people who have come out of jail. You've helped. Um, we had a guy that got his first job that had been homeless out of jail, and you guys helped him with his clothes for his job. And, you know, in that, and you see some of those success cases, but I know that some of it's heartbreaking work, isn't it?

SPEAKER_02 5:28

Oh, absolutely. I think when you see someone, you want the best for the clients that you have, and you are like, take this step, do this, and you can tell them everything to do. Yeah, but it doesn't sink in, right? It doesn't, they don't really move on those things or they're afraid to move on those things. They don't know that the unknown is so it's so bad for them. So they're like, I I can't, I can't do it. And then they revert to what they used to do all the time because it feels easy, yeah. It feels easy, and it's lonely when you have your fret, your friends, and you no longer want to be a part of that and you try to move on. And some people that have moved on with their life or have never been in that situation, they don't necessarily want to be friends with you. So that your community is gone and you have to build from the bottom up. And so they tend to just say, No, I'm good. I'm just gonna go back to what I'm doing. I'm like, no, don't do that.

SPEAKER_00 6:20

That's so hard. And then I know it's hard for you guys too, because you work so hard to get these grants.

SPEAKER_03 6:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:25

And then you have to really assess are we throwing our money away here? Or is this a person that really needs help? How do you guys make that decision?

SPEAKER_02 6:34

It is very hard. I I usually have like, hey, listen, I want to help you. I will always help someone who's progressing, always. But it I will try to give at least two chances. If you lost your apartment and then you found another apartment, I will give you that second chance. But after that, I have to really be like, really say no because out of I have like 150 clients right now. Right. And so for one client, if I did that for every client, we would have no money.

SPEAKER_00 7:01

We would have no money. And it's hard to make those decisions. And we, you know, we were an independent organization when we started, but we had to kind of figure out like what some things that we have to put into place to keep our shelves just from being empty. Yeah. You know, so we've had to put things in place. And people who are in like poverty cycles or just cycles of addiction, it's really hard for them to be consistent. And that's something we found. So we had to put, because we do the emergency food bags, and so the reason ours are in place is for people who don't have transportation, don't have access to other food banks. And so we had to put it in place that um after the second time, we have to sit down and meet with you so we can try to help you get out of the emergency situation, right? See what else we can get you connected with, what are you already accessing? Um, but I will tell you that 97% of the time, they just don't. They won't come in. Yeah. So, and I'm just like, oh, this is really for you. Yeah, you know, to help you get to that next place where it's not just let me get the handout. Yeah. And even though I think most of the people legitly need what we're offering. Sure, absolutely. But then like that step of it feels like, I don't know. I don't know what they tell themselves that keeps them from taking that step to being like, oh, wait, like I could come in and maybe she could help me like get to a place where I could go grocery shopping by myself.

SPEAKER_02 8:26

It feels like it's paralyzing for them. Like it's so scary just to do something new or to do something different to help yourself. Um, and sometimes I really think it's generational too, like how they grew up and how they see their family and their peers and their friends and the community that they're in, how they do things. So it's normalized and it's it's really sad because it is like we want you to do better, you know.

SPEAKER_00 8:51

Well, and it's not a life. People of faith, too, like you we're spirit if you're raised in a in a place of faith that teaches us, they should be, but like that we should dream, we should try to figure out like what we were made for. Yeah, like what is our uniqueness? What are we supposed to be doing with our life? Asking those kind of questions is so foreign to a person who's poor, yeah. And or a person who is stuck in some sort of um cycle, like especially like you know, with our international travels, that's something like we've done a lot of research on that they're taught not to dream because dreams don't feed you.

SPEAKER_01 9:25

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 9:26

And like I heard that from a minister in the countries we go to in the Caribbean, and it said that, like, sure you can paint, you know, sure you are really good at um music, but is it going to buy groceries? Like, is it going to keep you from being homeless? If it doesn't, they can't they said they can't afford to dream.

unknown 9:44

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 9:44

And that just made me like the heaviness of that is so sad. But I think like, even though in the United States there's so many more resources, and if our poor people went to other countries, they realized they they're not poor on the on the world standard.

SPEAKER_03 9:57

Right, right.

SPEAKER_00 9:58

But but it's still an issue and and it's and it can be locked in generationally and mentally. Yeah. Because the access that they actually have to all these programs, like the first time I took John, our worship leader, so he's from Trinidad, you know, he moved here and we were helping him get his first apartment. So I was connecting him with the resources to get his first place um before he got his first check. And we went to um Kneecac and he they gave him groceries for his first house. And it filled up the back of his car, like, and he was like the backseat of his car. And he said, Stephanie, he's like, Do you know what people would do for this in other countries? Wow. Because when we do food giveaways in these other countries, we're doing like a big grocery bag and a like a small plastic bag that has like you know, eggs and butter and things like that, but mostly dried goods. Yeah, you know, and they're so excited about it. And then like John got a whole back seat of food, and he's like, this place would have lines like down the street, like if people knew that this was available. And I said, I know, and I think that's the comparison. And if you don't go outside of the bubble of the United States and and don't see those kinds of things, you don't realize what a blessing like agencies like this is because they don't exist everywhere. Right, exactly. You know, and so especially like even what I've learned being in Hannibal. Um, I I lived in other states. I've lived in Tennessee, Georgia, and Florida, and I didn't know that there was so many agencies that would be in one place. It didn't exist everywhere I was from, even like some of the bigger ones like United Way, Salvation Army, places like that. But even here, seeing all the agencies and how they work together, that isn't everywhere either. Wow. Yeah, that's surprising.

SPEAKER_02 11:38

Yeah, I didn't know that.

SPEAKER_00 11:39

Yeah, like even I have friends that um are prayer partners with me in Florida, and they're trying to like figure out like how to how do I do what I do as far as building relationships with other agencies and finding out what's available so I can best help people. And they said we are making phone calls, and there aren't places like that here. They found like a church or you know, one individual nonprofit, but and of course, housing authority and things like that that that exist. So I think we're really blessed in our area too. A lot of people complain, but I'm just like, I don't know. This is pretty great that we have all these agencies that work together, and you know, we don't all have to try to do it ourselves because that's overwhelming.

SPEAKER_02 12:18

It does help to have so many different agencies to lean on because when we're out of funding, right? What do I do? I go to other agency. I need help with these clients, right? And I can always plug people into different things that I don't have necessarily for them. Like we don't have a food bank. Yeah. So I can't just I can buy groceries, of course, but if I don't have funding to buy groceries, then I know who to go to. Right.

SPEAKER_00 12:44

And you know where you can refer them to, and that's an awesome thing. And that's very I think people are very communal here when it comes to that sort of thing, always thinking outside the box and trying to fill in those gaps. But I think as people of faith, so tell me like how your faith plays into your decision even to do nonprofit work.

SPEAKER_02 13:02

So when you think, well, when I think about serving and helping others, sometimes um, sometimes it's it's a real like laborist thing. And I think when I think about my job and I help people, I think about how lonely people can be. And I think that that's something that we all need as community. Like, you know, we need community. And so, really, when I think about that, I'm like, you know, Jesus was in community and we need to be the same for other people. Like he didn't shy people up, like, oh, you're not on my level, you're not my status. He didn't do that. So we can't do that as people. And so when it comes to the work I do, I really want people to know, like, I'm here for you, I care about you, but I'm also going to be honest with you. Like, some people think it's just you just have to be nice. And I'm it's like, no, I want to be real and honest with you. I don't, Jesus is not like that. He's not gonna be like, Well, I don't want to hurt your feelings. Right. It's like, so I want to do that. I want to be there for you, but I also want to be honest with you. And if I see something in your life that's like, hey, this is hurting you. Like this girlfriend of yours, you need to let her go. This boyfriend of you, you need to let him go. Yeah. Because they're just holding you back. I'm being honest with you because I see it. Like you're you're everything you do is doing for this person. I'm like, that's not good, that's not healthy, don't do that. Um, even when clients say, you know, you don't know what it's like to do that. I'm just like, you don't know where I've been. Exactly. So, really just to give a testimony to them about my life, on top of like, now you could be honest with me and be real with me. Right. And so, like, just face in, you know, Lord, I know you have the bigger picture. And when I have to make hard decisions on whether or not I'm gonna spend money on someone, if I'm not, it's not because I'm like, oh, nope, you're done. It's like I really have to think of other people, right? But I can help you in other ways. I always give other resources. I'm never like, okay, bye, kick you to the curve. I'll always give another resource. Right. So it is a hard decision, but they have to be made.

SPEAKER_00 15:05

They do, they do. And I think what you said about like sharing that testimony to connect with people, God knows what he's doing when he puts us in places like that. And I think a lot of times when people are stuck in their story because they don't know it's gonna, it can be different, you know, they don't they don't realize that the Lord will use that. He doesn't create those situations for us, right? But he will use those to minister and connect with other people so we can draw other people out once we get out. And I even learned that, like um, you know, going to other countries because it can be intimidating on both sides, you know, as an American going to other countries and also for the other people, because oftentimes, honestly, America gets a really bad reputation because we can be quite snotty and act like we have it all together, and um, and it makes people withdraw from you because they think you're looking down at them, you're disrespecting their culture and their place. And I found early on, because I got thrown into like um a teenage room, 75 girls, and the very first year I ever went to Trinidad, and um I thought they spoke English. And so I they told me they spoke English, but it didn't sound like English to me, and I was so intimidated. And these girls were um rough, they come from some rough places, and they were giving me some grief in there, and I didn't even know how to communicate back to them. Like, how do I connect with them? Because I realized there's there's a disconnect here, and I just really prayed about it the second day because I was just so intimidated by the whole situation. And teenage girls aren't my favorite people, I would much rather be with babies or or boys, just because boys just tend to be more honest and straightforward, and I appreciate that a lot. But um, but for that, the next day when I came in, I started out different and I just shared like my testimony, you know, just shared where I'd come from, how I grew up. And then I just seen all these walls come down. Yeah. Because it was like suddenly, like we're all people. Yeah, you know, we've all had similar struggles, no matter where we've come from, you know, and what that looks like. So I think when people realize you can be real with them, yeah, you know, and that although that's not where I am now, right? Yeah, I understand what that means and what that looks like.

SPEAKER_02 17:14

Yeah. Testimonies really break down those walls. It's like it makes you human to someone. Yeah. And like, oh, we we are very similar, we're not that much different. Yeah. And people start to realize that, like, oh, okay, well, I can talk to you. Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 17:28

Yeah, and I realized it changed whenever. Um, so the first day they called me Mrs. White Lady. That was my name. And because on that part of the island there were no white people, and I stood out, obviously. But um, yeah, they called me Mrs. White Lady, and I hated it so much. And but on day two, after I shared my testimony, they started calling me Auntie.

SPEAKER_02 17:48

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 17:49

And everyone there that I'd known before I came said, that is a compliment. Yeah, that means that that was a warrant, like a term of endearment for them to call me auntie and a term of respect. Yeah. And so I was like, oh gosh, thank you, Lord, that I listened to you because this was so hard, you know, and just learned so much from being able to like, okay, I I know, like, I don't know what they've experienced with white Americans. And so I wanna, how can I just let them know that I'm just another human, you know, that's had their own struggles. And so I think just like letting that wall down and being vulnerable with people. Yeah, and some people are so scared of being vulnerable. That's not ever really been a struggle for me. I probably am an overshare, honestly. And so I have to sometimes, I will sometimes be like, oh gosh, did I just totally dump on them and make them uncomfortable? But um, I try to do, you know, have discernment about it, you know. I think I've gotten better over the years. Um, but I do get really excited because I know what the Lord's done for my life, you know, and and that's led us to like even us getting to know each other. I don't even know if I knew you in nonprofit before I knew you in homeschooling.

SPEAKER_02 18:56

Yeah, that's right. Yeah, we didn't, I didn't know you. I knew you homeschooling first. Okay. Then nonprofit.

SPEAKER_00 19:01

I thought okay, that's what I think too. So we met each other through the homeschooling co-op that we were both a part of. And um, how long have you homeschooled? I think you've homeschooled seven years ago.

SPEAKER_02 19:13

We're close then. I started 19.

SPEAKER_00 19:15

Yeah, I'm on my sixth year, so seven years here.

SPEAKER_02 19:18

So yeah, yeah. So what made you decide to do that? Like it was really a God calling. Yeah, it wasn't like I was like planning this because I was you have four, I have four kids now. So I was blatantly like, yeah, I'm never doing that. And the Lord has such a great sense of humor because I was like, Yeah, I'm not doing this. And I remember the day I was outside taking pictures of both my girls before I had my son and had my other daughter. I was outside taking pictures of them. I was like, Yeah, we're gonna get ready for school. And you guys are 20. Yay, loving. And in that moment, the Lord was like, You need to take them out of school. And I was like, What? No, it's not happening. And they went to school for the rest of the year. I was disobedient to the Lord, and it was the worst year, worst year, worst year. I found out um after we took them out of school, like one of my oldest daughters was being teased, like so bad. Like she was so recluse and she was being teased so much, and she would not tell anyone. And then my youngest uh daughter at the time, she was in school and just misbehaving, like spitting on bus drivers. Oh my gosh, and she's so sweet, exactly, like terrible behavior. And I'm like, what is I never would have I never would have thought that, but disobedience. Um, and I was like, okay, so I would at the end of the year, I was like, Lord, if this is what you wanted me to do, you need to make this clear for me. Yeah, and he did make it very clear. And I was like, if my husband says no, then I know for sure this is that. I love that sort of thing. Like Matt and I talked about it before many times, and he's always said no. And I remember I went, I was like, This is it, I'm gonna ask, and this is gonna be my answer. And I'm thinking he's gonna be like, Yeah, no, we're not doing that. And I was like, So bad, what do you think about like homeschooling the kids next year? He's like, Yeah, we should do it. And I was like, he was your saving grace. And I was like, Okay, okay, Lord. And that that year I took them out of school. I was like, I'm not gonna be disobedient.

SPEAKER_00 21:16

I had no idea what he was doing, but I definitely had no idea what I was doing. And I cried a lot the first year.

SPEAKER_02 21:23

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:24

And um, I still like every now and then something will happen. I was like, oh my gosh, am I doing it right? Like, you know, is he really gonna be ready? Because I mine is getting ready to graduate. Like he'll graduate at the end of this year, and I'm just like, oh, I hope he's ready. I hope I did it right. I hope it didn't fail, you know. Um, I hope he's not gonna have to relearn this and that. You know, I've just I've had a lot of panic moments. Um, because I have four kids too, but I didn't homeschool my other three. Um, so we lived in a small town and had a really great school system. And I I'm glad that I sent him to school. Yeah. Um, and I'm not me and you, I think one of the reasons we connected was me and you are not the average homeschool moms. Like Of these homeschool moms be crazy, girl. Like, oh yeah, we went outside and we picked flowers, and that was homeschooling for the day. That is not who I am.

SPEAKER_02 22:11

And it's like, don't get me wrong, I do like a good adventure, but I'm like, we gotta get some school work done.

SPEAKER_00 22:16

Exactly. I mean, I get so panicky thinking, did I get enough hours this year? If they ever come and you know, evaluate me, I'm like, I have what I need. Is all my ducks in a room? Keep every paper. I'm like, we gotta keep everything because just in case, just come, just in case, which I've known no one, yeah, but just now that we're talking about it, it could just happen. Exactly. Yeah, we had a we had a flood at our house recently, and one of the boxes that got wet was a school box. And Jevin's like, are you throwing that away? I said, No, I am not. They will have to look through all of this wet gross stuff because I am so panicky that that would happen, and then I would be in so much trouble. But yeah, so I'm not, I'm definitely not the the and I'm not the one that doesn't want my kids to interact with other people. Right. Like I did see that a lot in some of the co-op. You could tell these kids were like, some of these kids were very like reclused and probably never leave their pharmaceutical to come to co-op. And you know, and that's fine for them if that works for them. Sure. I just never wanted, I wanted my kid to know to how to be in the world, but not of the world. Right. So I really want him, and he's super social. Like he would have been crushed by not being able to be a part and have relationships. And so we worked really hard to make sure he was connected. He was in sports and in the youth group at church, and he works a job outside of the home and just to try to give him an outlet. He plays music and all those things. And um, I am really glad that we made the choice that we did with him, and it's helped us like as ministers too, because we travel a lot, yeah, and so our schooling can be mobile. Yeah, um, and so I'm I'm grateful for the opportunity to homeschool, but it has been a challenge.

SPEAKER_02 23:54

Yeah, and that's that is challenging with four kids that are all like, you know, still I can't imagine still doing school, and they all have different things they want to do. You know, I have one that's very athletic, so you know, I'm always searching out all the teams, and so he can be on. And of course, you want them to be social. Like my oldest is outside of the home working, and it's like great, that's a good skill to have. You're not going to be always with people of like that's like you and think like you. You have to be able to say, I can work outside the home, I can be outside my home, and I can be okay. I can still be filled with the Lord, but I don't need to do what they're doing. Exactly. And I can be an example, and so that's what I really want for my kids. And my other my uh my second oldest, she just loves to do everything, dance and and cross country, and she just loves all the things. Yeah, all the things, and she loves being with her best friend, and it's like they get to hang out and do different things, and it's like they it's so awesome to see their different personalities and not they don't look dead to me.

SPEAKER_00 24:54

They're just like excited about life and they want to do things and well, and they they've learned that through homeschooling, because you've done a great job with it, is they don't have to conform their personalities to fit in a classroom. And I think that does happen a lot where kids have to look a certain way, act a certain way, really suppress themselves to be able to be in those atmospheres. And so, and Nelson was he was always an outgoing kid too, like super outgoing. And funny story, like the year before we started homeschooling, uh, well, it was probably it was probably a couple years because I think it was second or third grade. Um, his teacher one day, I come up to see her, and she uh she said, I call Nelson Sue Heck. And if you ever watch the middle, the show the middle, no, so the middle daughter is a lot, and she but she is very um well behaved and corrects herself. So Nelson is a self-corrector. I was like, How do you mean? She's like, Well, I will be getting on to him for talking too much. And she said, and then he will talk too much, but before I can even tell him, Nelson, you have to stop talking. He comes to me and tells me he did and puts himself in corrections. He'll go sit in the desk in the corner because he knows he did something he wasn't supposed to. So she so he says, I she said, I just call her Sue Heg and him, Sue Heck, and then like I would pick him up from school and he'd get in the car and I'd be like, How was your day? And he would just tell me all the things. He's never been the kid that was like, fine, you know, he still to this day comes home every single day and has to tell me everything. I mean, he's so sad when that stops, you know. But he uh would get in the car and he would just tell me about his day. And um, I was like, okay. And he was like, Why do I always have to tell you when I do bad things?

SPEAKER_01 26:33

Like, like it just dawned on him like this. I really shouldn't tell you that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:37

And then he was like, it'd be nothing. Like, you know, I didn't come and get in line as quick as I was supposed to, it'd be something dumb, you know. But he has always had this like conviction about him, and I've always prayed, God protect that, you know, because I want him to always, I don't want him to let Satan like turn it on him where he feels um condemnation, yeah, you know, but where he can always be honest, you know, that it's better, you know, just to when you feel that, just go ahead and you know, make it right. Yeah, and so I hope he never loses that. And as they get to be teenagers, you always worry about that because it's you you get that need to like keep things from your parents, and yeah, like maybe I shouldn't tell them.

SPEAKER_02 27:14

Yeah, you should tell me.

SPEAKER_00 27:15

Yeah, you should you should always tell me. And but I've I've I've been thankful that I feel like I've been able to foster that more, him being at home than being in the school environment because that's a scary thing, like the way the schools are going too, like how much influence that they're having over your children, and you don't even know, you don't know what influence they're having. Yeah, so I get it, and I don't judge anyone that doesn't make the decision to homeschool. Everybody has to make their own decision as far as that goes. And everybody can't, yeah. Like, I mean, if I was a single mom, there's no way I could homeschool. Yeah, you know, so I'm grateful that we've been able to work it out with our family dynamic. And um, you know, and I more people are homeschooling than ever because it used to be only the weird kids. Yeah, you know that like Nelson now, when he tells people, because they'll see what school do you go to? He'd be like, I'm homeschooled. They're like, you know, not like a homeschool kid, you know. And so I take that as a compliment only because I think they're thinking of like how we grew up that if you were homeschooled, it was weird. Yeah, you're probably in a cold or something.

SPEAKER_02 28:13

Yeah, that happened to my my son. He was uh he's on a basketball team for like a public school. Um, and it's so funny because they were like, Hey man, we never see you. Like, what school do you go to? He's like, Oh, I'm homeschooled. They're like, You're like the coolest homeschool kid we know. He like takes so much pride in that because he's like, you wouldn't think that he was a homeschool kid, but he is, and it's just so funny to watch him interact with them. They all have phones and like YouTube, and they're like third grade, they all have phones, and they're like, dude, you don't have a phone? He's like, nah. He's like, they're like, Oh, is your are your parents me? He's like, No, my parents are not me. He's like, So why don't you have a phone? He's like, Because I'm not responsible. I'm like, thank you. You understand who you are as a person. But I was so proud of him when he said that he didn't, it didn't bother him. He just said, No, I'm not responsible. He knew he's like, I'm not a responsible kid for my parents to go out, purchase a phone for me, pay the bill for me, and then trust that you're doing all the right things with the right. Exactly. Yeah. I was like, good for you, buddy. That was so good. I know you definitely felt like score up and right today. Yes, like at all the wrong things that I do throughout the year. That's one thing that I got. Okay. That is so good.

SPEAKER_00 29:23

I love that. And I and I hope that, you know, uh, I we didn't let Nelson have a phone. He got a flip phone when he was in middle school. So we let him have a flip phone and told him he could earn like if he was responsible for that, if he kept up with it, you know, if we didn't find any issues with it, like then we would talk about something else as he got into high school years. And so, and I was glad that we chose that for him because he's he's 11 years different from our older kids, um, age-wise. And I it's when cell phones just kind of came out with like the iPhones and stuff. And I felt like we gave it way too soon without understanding what we were handing to them. And we we knew we were gonna make a different decision with him. And I've been really grateful that we have, yeah, you know, and that we kept that because I'm with you. You see these little ones with the cell phone, and you're just like, oh my gosh, what are those kids really seeing? Who's talking to them? Do they even know? Yeah, you know, and that's scary. Um, and again, everybody has to make that own decision for them. Sure.

SPEAKER_02 30:19

And if their parents believe that they're responsible, and that's like, you know, because they are they do do public school, and so it's like maybe it's like if you if I'm late, you know, you know who to go to. Right. And I I get it, I totally get it. But for us, it's like it's enough. Right. I'm with you all the time, you don't need one. Yeah, exactly. I take you everywhere, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 30:37

And and that's and that's a good decision to make. And and I think you have more flexibility that way when you're homeschooling too. So you don't have to be so afraid of what might happen at school and think you gotta give your kid a phone for that reason. Right. And I've heard kids even use that as you have to give me a phone. Like, yeah, yeah. Oh, if I was a kid, I probably would have said that too.

SPEAKER_02 30:56

Yeah, like mom, I need this phone because uh just in case something happens, I gotta call you. And I need this phone.

SPEAKER_00 31:02

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, it's hard to make those decisions, but I think I think that we're doing it right and staying humble and just going before the Lord and and then showing our kids, like both of us working in nonprofit worlds, like you can you can still like do good things for Jesus and big things for Jesus and be in your home and with your family. And and so I think our kids need to see that. Yeah. Um, because that is anti-world for sure.

SPEAKER_02 31:31

Oh, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:32

Yeah, they are definitely telling us that that can't happen. And I think they think with the smaller nonprofits too, like what is the change really happening? But they don't see what you and I see every day.

SPEAKER_02 31:41

Oh, yeah, yeah. Like when I look at numbers, um, because of course everything that we do there, it has to be recorded numbers. So um, and I look at the the amount of what we help with and what kind of money, and I'm like, these people would never be able to afford their rent. Right. There will like lights and utilities have gone up tremendously. And and and people can't make it. They can't. And I'm just like, yeah, we have a big impact. This little program has a huge impact. Right. We cover like 12 counties, and I'm like, we have a huge impact.

SPEAKER_00 32:16

Yeah. Like just this little little where would they go? Yeah. Because in our town, what you do, no one else does. Yeah, it's very so where would they go? Yeah, you know, and I and I think that's you know, why we built what we built too was just um trying to figure out where are the ones that are falling in the gap. Right, you know, and so where would they go? And that's why we want to grow with like reaching the foster, the aged out fosters. Yeah, because it's a gap, it's a huge gap in our town. Yeah, and um, we're all seeing it, and it's like, how do we get our hands around that? Yeah, how do we make sure these kids know that we care, even though if their whole life they've been absolutely failed? Yeah, and oftentimes end up they get to you, yeah, you know, and which I don't want that exactly. So, how do we how do we do that where you know it we can get them before that? How can we be preemptive? You know, and even like the program that we're working with our church with Hope Center, how we're partnering with that, because you're seeing that having a Christian men's rehab where these guys could come straight out of prison and go into these programs that can give them training for jobs, help them with financial security, and all of that worked into a program that actually the partnership in that would even make it more successful.

SPEAKER_02 33:24

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 33:24

So, like just learning and growing and and not feeling like you have to be an island. Um, and that's a very much a church mentality, unfortunately. Like a lot of churches don't want to work together because they're afraid someone else is gonna get the glory. I said it, I'm a part of a church, it's all good. But yeah, it is, but what if we didn't think that way, you know, and what if we could like find ways like that, like um hope center and and fact is trying to like how can we partner together and make it more successful? How can we get the aged off foster kids before they get to you? Like always thinking that way um of how we can start having bigger impact and more preemptive impact, yeah, you know, and I think that that's kingdom, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 34:05

It is, you know, because I want to be out of a job eventually. Right, exactly. I want to be out of a job, and in order for me to be out of a job, we have to stop people from going into the prison system and or going to the court system, whatever, and coming out. That's right. And we have to stop that. Yeah, that has to stop.

SPEAKER_00 34:23

And we need Jesus people in these organizations, even when they're not faith-based, in these organizations that are doing God's work, yeah, you know, to bring that about. And I'll I'll close with this, but I was studying, we're going through the book of Acts at church, and I started this new Bible, and they didn't they used the word emissary in place of disciple. And I thought it was really interesting. I was like, why? Why did they choose that in this in this interpretation? And so I went and studied it. Emissary is a word used in place of disciple. I did find that out, but it in the um in the secular dictionary, it means a secret agent. Wow, it means an agent sit under someone else's authority to bring kind of diplomatic um and unity to them. Like you're bringing another person kind of on board. And so, like in the secular form, it's like a secret agent that's sent out to bring others in.

SPEAKER_02 35:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 35:19

And I was like, I love that. Yeah, I love that so much. Like a mission. That's right. I was like, so it and I think for us, like as people who work in secular fields, you know, mine is a faith-based and yours isn't. Right. Right? Yours isn't and so like, and there's so many of our friends that work in non-faith-based um agencies or just whatever their jobs, like your husband, my husband, they are still emissaries um in that the Lord has sent them into non-Christian environments to make an impact and draw people. Yeah, and I think that's beautiful. That's awesome.

SPEAKER_02 35:52

Yeah, and that yeah, that just that kind of just really resonated with me just now. Like, yeah, that's right. Now that I think about the times where like my husband will say he did something at work and he was able to talk to someone, or and I'm just like, Yeah, yeah, that does.

SPEAKER_00 36:07

He's he's a little secret agent. Yeah, I love it. I can see it. Yeah, and I think that's I think that's what we're all called to do, you know. And I think some people get hung up on, well, I'm not working for a crit in a Christian environment, or you know, I'm not a minister. It's like, well, you are, yeah. Everywhere you go, you can't. Yeah. If you're a Christian, we should be sharing the gospel wherever we are and shining a lot and them seeing a difference, you know. And so we're just gonna keep changing the world. Yeah, we're gonna keep being secret agents. We have to.

SPEAKER_02 36:35

I'm not so secret, but you know, well, yeah, not not too much around here, but it maybe some when you go out other places, you know. Right.

SPEAKER_00 36:43

Yeah, and I, you know, and and you we can still be a part of non-Christian conversations and environments because I mean, we have to be in this world, yeah, you know, and so and be that lot no matter where we go. Because we have to get the law.

SPEAKER_02 36:55

So how do you get the law to be able to talk to them?

SPEAKER_00 36:57

Yeah, you can't just avoid them. You're not gonna be the homeschooling people that just never get out, yeah, never talk to other people about Christ.

SPEAKER_02 37:04

You can't because you'll always have that barrier and you always have that wall up, you'll always be the like stay back, stay back. It's like you can still love people, you can, and you can still talk to people and you can still tell people about Jesus without being like, sure, you can just come into my home and take whatever you want. Exactly. You can still you can still be there for people.

SPEAKER_00 37:25

You can still be kind and draw them in and be a friend to them. And and God, and I always pray, like, God, show me creative ways to love people. And because some people don't respond well to just the what I would just communicate as love. Like, how do I how do I show them that I care about them? And sometimes it's really strange, you know, where some I've I've took like a coffee to a random person and just dropped it off at their work, and they're like, Why'd you do that? I was like, I just felt like maybe you would love it. Yeah, and that's all. And that I don't stand there to preach at them, you know. I just thought maybe you needed it today, you know.

SPEAKER_02 37:59

Because you know, that just shows that you were thinking about that they were on your mind, right? And that's awesome. And some people just think like, oh, that's that makes them feel special. Like somebody thought about me today to stop what they were doing, to say, hey, I was thinking about you, and I wanted to let you know.

SPEAKER_00 38:14

Yeah, exactly. That's awesome. Yeah, no strings attached.

SPEAKER_02 38:16

Yeah, no strings attached, just there you go, and that's it.

SPEAKER_00 38:19

And and a lot of people have a hard time with that, but I think generally it opens up doors for conversations later, yeah, you know, and so you just leave it until the Lord opens the door for something else and just trust him with those seeds. You just have to have that your heart open for it, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 38:33

You have to be ready, you know.

SPEAKER_00 38:34

And not too busy. Yeah, and I think I've definitely fall into that sometimes, just being busy.

SPEAKER_02 38:39

I think we all can be busy and some just get caught up in our own lives and our own things, and we and we sometimes can miss the opportunity. Yeah. Um, but we just need to know when when we're missing opportunities to to ask the Lord, hey, can you open my eyes? Yeah, my eyes have been down. I'm not I'm not looking at you. I forgot I was a secret agent. Please help me out. I need a reminder. Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 39:00

Exactly. So well, thank you for coming today for our take to and um it's been a good conversation. And I'm glad we got to talk. We got to talk about things we didn't talk about the first time.

SPEAKER_01 39:08

Yeah, that's true.

SPEAKER_00 39:09

So that's good. So I appreciate that. Well, uh, thank you for coming. And guys, if you haven't watched any of our podcasts, you can check it out on YouTube. We also are on Buzz Sprout where we have um audio versions. If you want to check that out, share it. Um, you never know who is gonna encourage, um, who is gonna reach. So thank you for coming to Boom Roasted. Bye.