Boom Roasted with Abigail S2 EP 8

Meet Abigail Ali my friend who I met on the mission field. We talk about missions, cultural differences and how to share the gospel wherever you are!

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:29

Welcome to Be Roasted today. We are here with a very special guest, and that's Miss Abigail Ali, all the way from Canada. Originally from Trinidad. So we've known each other a long time. Yeah. 20 plus years. Correct. Traveled to Trinidad.

SPEAKER_00 0:46

Boy, that's almost that's more than half of my life.

SPEAKER_01 0:48

That's more than half of your life. Yeah, exactly. Which you were a teeny tiny when I first met you. Of course, we didn't start traveling to Trinidad till 13 years ago. So then we got, you know, way closer. But we are having coffee today. Well, I am having coffee today. Um, she is having hot chocolate. Um, that's a very trendy thing. Can I just say I think it's incredibly strange that a country, so like I talk about us of coffee, and coffee only grows in certain parts of the country. It's called the coffee belt. Trinidad is in the coffee belt. United States is not in the coffee belt.

SPEAKER_00 1:24

And no one in Trinidad can throw coffee. Actually, actually, so there's this guy, um, this TikToker, he's becoming famous. Um, Kyle, Kyle Boss. So he has a 5 a.m. like coffee shop, I think it is. In Trinidad. In Trinidad. So I think it's becoming a little more popular. But one of our members in church, like he well, he drinks coffee.

SPEAKER_01 1:47

Real coffee, though, not Ness Cafe. Doesn't count. You're see, you you know, she's talking about instant coffee. It doesn't count. The first year I went, I asked your dad. I was like, is there gonna be coffee there? Do we need to bring our own coffee? He's like, oh no, no, we got coffee. And then there was instant coffee sitting on the counter. I was like, that's not coffee.

SPEAKER_00 2:05

I didn't even know that.

SPEAKER_01 2:06

Yeah, and you guys have coffee orchards in your country.

SPEAKER_00 2:08

We do coquetries, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:11

That's um stressful to me because hot chocolates. Could trees. So that's more for chocolate, though. But you guys actually have coffee orchards that has the coffee cherries. I've looked it up, but I can't find anyone that knows where they are or how to take me there. Maybe it's a mess. But I've looked it up. It's got the soil in Trinidad grows good coffee, but I've literally went to the grocery store and found no Trinidadian coffee. Yeah. So you don't know because you drink hot chocolate. I do. I drink hot chocolate all the time. And your dad drinks hot chocolate and hot tea. Yeah. And I always have that at my house when he comes to visit because I know he's not gonna drink coffee with me, but that's okay. Okay. But anyway, so here we are today on Boom Roasted, and just the premise of the show is just to roast people's excuses for not doing big things for Jesus, no matter where they are in life, no matter what they're doing with their life. Like, how can we roast those excuses and just encourage people to do something? Do something wherever they are. And so obviously, meeting you whenever I first met you, you were coming to the United States with your father because he was an evangelist and a missionary to the United States, which that alone, like we could stop right there and like talk forever about that. Because some people are like, how does someone come from an impoverished country into the United States to be a missionary? And what did you like? What did you understand about that as far as like coming to the US? Like, why a missionary to the US? Like, did you have an understanding? Because you were really young when your dad started.

SPEAKER_00 3:42

Yeah, I was about like eight or nine, I think, when we came to the US. And um it was more like of an adventure for us. It's like, oh, let's go, because we've been to the US a couple times before that, I think, just to have some fun and whatever. So then coming to the US, it was just like, yeah, we're going to do some mission work. Um, and then be uh going to different churches. I don't think I fully understood it until like we we weren't stable in one place and then we were just going to different churches, like preaching. But I enjoyed every bit of it. Yeah. Yeah. Well, my parents may have a different idea because they said that I was the only one that was always asking to go back home.

SPEAKER_01 4:23

Well, I'm sure you miss the food incredibly. Yeah. And the community, I mean, um, because the community life in Trinidad is very different than the United States. Um, I I enjoy and miss it a ton when we leave and come back home because of how connected everybody is. It is a very different culture when it comes to that in a very positive way. Um, now, whenever you were coming there and your dad's preaching and he's doing these revivals, and then you guys lived here for a short time, and you were going to school in my hometown, in the tiny little town of Alta, Florida, literally one square mile, and there was something a little significant about your presence at that school. And what was that, Abby?

SPEAKER_00 5:03

We were the only or the first ever black kids in the school. And I don't know if any other black kids ever went to that. I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_01 5:12

After you, many. Okay. But um, whenever I was in school there, it was absolutely an all-white school. Not because we wouldn't accept other people, there just wasn't any in our town. And it was a very, it was known historically as a very racist community. Now I didn't grow up that way. And obviously, you know, my family, like, and I didn't, I my dad had a business in our backyard and all kinds of people came and did business there. And my dad taught us to treat everyone the same. So I didn't like, I was thankful that that didn't carry over to my way of thinking. But I didn't go to school with people from different cultures and backgrounds. I didn't, it was everybody was the same. So I can't imagine what that was like for you.

SPEAKER_00 5:55

Yeah, it was um we were excited because then at home in Trinidad, we would watch these TV shows of you know, people in school, these school buses and everything, so that we were very excited to actually be a part of a school and maybe go on a school bus, but I don't think we got a lot. My parents didn't let us go on the school bus. They just drove us to school, I think. I think so. But for me, I experienced um bullying when I was there. Um, but coming from a praying family, my mom was like, Abby, just pray for that young girl. And I never forget, like, I got into the school, and yeah, this girl was bullying me. Um but at the ending, when we were gonna leave after one year of being there, she became my best friend. Like she was like one of the girls that was like crying and then prayed, and we got closer. And you know, there was uh still community there. Yeah, um at different times I didn't feel uh like the racism from there. I think they really accepted the kids were like really intuitive as to, you know, oh, where are you from and stuff like that? Right. Um, there's this one girly in Morgan, she was like very kind, and she was a first person that was so, so kind to me there. So it was really nice. I I felt accepted, except for that one experience that I had.

SPEAKER_01 7:13

Yeah, yeah. Well, that's really good because a lot of people would assume it was a pretty negative experience overall.

SPEAKER_02 7:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:19

And I know that was hard for your parents too, to not the unknown of it. Yeah, you know, what were you guys gonna experience when they weren't around? And I know that had to be scary for them, but to take such a huge leap of faith as a family to say we're gonna leave all that behind for a time. Because you were there for two years.

SPEAKER_00 7:35

Um, so I was in Alpha, we were in Alpha for one year, and then we were homeschooled for another year.

SPEAKER_01 7:41

Okay, and then you guys went back to Trinidad. Yes. And were um, you had a church there and a ministry there. Um, and then your dad was still traveling back and forth.

SPEAKER_02 7:51

Correct, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:52

So, what is what do you think like? So we came in on the scene working with you guys about 13 years ago, started working with that summer program called Give a Kid a Chance, and we're getting ready to go back. Yes, and you're not gonna be there, and it's gonna be super sad. But um, that is a program that really the first year, because you know, the first year we came, we actually didn't do Give a Kid a Chance, we did that youth conference. Yes, and that's but we did a bunch of ministry down on Dump Road, um, which is just like one street away from your church. Yeah. So you guys are in a great location as far as ministry goes. Um, but for you, like what was that like being in the country and then like having missionaries come in um and be able to see like through their eyes? Like, what was that like for you? See through the missionaries' eyes?

SPEAKER_00 8:39

Yeah, like because I know that had to be very different. Um I think that was like a passion because my dad is we we grew up kind of being missionaries, right? So then seeing them come to our country and some some of them, not you guys, but some other missionaries, they would have different ideas of what Trinidad might look like and thought we were extremely poor country. Yes, they are poor areas within Trinidad, but uh they're very much like uh rich people have their luxury life. Well, uh some people thought we didn't have like electricity in our own homes or didn't have proper water or whatever. Um, but just seeing it through their eyes, it was just amazing because I know they probably had different taste buds, different experiences, and then it was almost like trying to protect the missionaries when they came and then be like, oh, just don't go here, don't go there.

SPEAKER_02 9:28

Right.

SPEAKER_00 9:28

And then also seeing them trying to understand our English was a fun part of it because yes, we would speak fast, but then it was just like the fast speaking, they wouldn't just understand. So it was just fun, just helping them navigate that.

SPEAKER_01 9:41

I think the language was definitely the first year we came to do give a kid a chance, especially. I had, well, I'd asked Pastor Ali because I mean, you know, he I hadn't been in revivals with him for years and I never had trouble understanding him. Um he said a few words different, like three. He said tree and different things like that, but I knew what he was saying, so I thought, you know, I asked him, I was like, so you speak English like when you're in country? And he's like, Oh yeah, we speak English. I was like, so that we're not gonna need like an interpreter or anything like that when coming because I'd never done a mission trip. Trinidad was my first ever mission trip. Really? Wow. Yeah, I went to Lee University, not to get my degree in missions, which was kind of ironic, but for pastoral ministry. And so um, yeah, I didn't ever think I'd do mission work, so it was kind of a crazy thing for me. But we go there for the first time, and I hear, and we're in, you know, you know, give a kid a chance. There's there was probably five or six hundred kids the first year. Yeah. And your mom puts me in a class with teenagers, girls, like my least favorite demographic is teenage girls, and she's like, I just need you to be here. I don't have anybody else in there. Well, I understood no one. And I'm like, this is not English. That's too funny. This is not English. How am I gonna get through this class when I can't understand? And the helper that was in the bank of me, I didn't understand her either. So it wasn't helpful. And the only thing I did understand, because we were outside, you know, under that tent by the building, and I was sweating profusely the first year, and this one girl asked me, Um, Mrs. White Lady, why do you sweat so much? I mean, what do you say? I'm like dripping sweat from everywhere. And I was like, you know what? I don't know, but I understood what you said. So thanks for that. But I realized that over time, like slowing it down, like if people got to know us, they would slow it down so we could understand. And that they understood us. Yes, yeah, you know, because it sounds like we're talking really, really slow to you, right?

SPEAKER_00 11:34

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:35

Yeah, so but for you guys, you use a lot of slang when you're talking to each other, yeah, and you shortcut words, yes, and you don't pronounce every syllable. Okay. We talked about that with like yesterday. We were talking about how Bostons don't use their R's, neither do Trinidadis. They do not is silent in your dictionaries. Um, probably not your dictionaries, but when you talk to each other, but that was definitely hard for me the first year, but over time I did, I can understand it now, you know, and I do pretty well with it. But it definitely was a challenge. And I think for me, I I didn't have a I didn't know what to expect as far as the poverty level, but for me, it was still really astounding and compared to even the impoverished in the United States. So when I started doing studying, because I'm a geek and I'm gonna watch, you know, documentaries and I'm gonna study things when I go places, I did find that Trinidad is a third world country on every level except for oil. Yes. And because you guys produce your own oil, the only problem is most of it gets sent out of your country and your country doesn't really benefit from it. Correct. They actually need to be on the third world country because they would actually get further assistance if they would stay on the third world country list. But because they took themselves off of it because of the oil, it's kept them from getting more aid coming into the country. So um, yeah, and I think one of the things that I found too, even like going to the hospital or going down the dump road and things like that, the um access to programs that we have here, um, those are things we really take for granted in the United States, that it's just you can't be denied health care, you know, that there has to be, if I go into a school system and my kid has autism, like they have to serve them, they have to find a place for them, they have to make, you know, and it's just that's just not the case everywhere. And so it really helped me, even though it may not be, because I've been to Haiti with you guys. Yes, it may not be Haiti, it may not be Africa, but it still is this level of um, it helps me as a person to be able to understand um how good we have it here and help me to be full of gratitude. Um, because you could be in such a bubble in the United States and think that everybody operates like you and everything's available. And it was like the first time I took John to um when he got his first place, I took him to this place that will help them get groceries for their first apartment. Right. And, you know, we give away grocery hampers in Trinidad and it's usually like a couple of bags, you know, of food. And it's usually staples, you know, like what we call staples, but like rice and beans and sugar and flour, things you can make a lot of things from. And John is getting, we go and put all the stuff in John's car and it fills up his entire trunk. Wow. And he just stood there for a minute and he was like, uh, do you know what people would do in Trinidad to know this was available? And not only that, there were snacks and cakes and cereal and things outside of like basically. And um, I could just see it in his eyes, and I was just like, wow, like we take so much for granted, even the the places that we have, like what we do here at Mission 180. This there isn't a lot of these places in Trinidad.

SPEAKER_00 14:46

No, they I mean, I think the only person that I know that does something to the capacity that you guys do it is Avanel, Avenel Hector. Yeah, and and just from a Christian perspective perspective as well. So um, and then she does a really good job with reaching out and then finding people to help and and connecting with you guys as well to see how you guys can help. Um so it there's not much of that in Trinidad. Um I'm not sure why.

SPEAKER_01 15:12

Do you think like this is just a question for you because you have a better perspective than me? So, what I find a lot of times, even in the US, is when people are in a a pov what I call a poverty spirit, that's a very spiritual word. I realize that, but a poverty spirit or a poverty mindset is afraid to give because they don't know if they're gonna have more tomorrow. So it's very much about survival. Do you think it's because in countries like that, people are afraid to launch out with those things or even give toward those things? Because I know even from Avenel with Ignac, like she struggled with getting consistent support for what she does. Yeah, you know, and you know she's doing the most. Yeah, she is. She's doing the most. But how do you how do you break that in people where they start realizing that supporting, if you have a lot, then there's your responsibility as a believer, no matter if you're in a third world country, second world country, or first world country, whatever that looks like, you still have a responsibility if you're a believer to give, you know, to reach the poor and the widows and the orphans. Like it doesn't, the Bible doesn't say only if you live in a wealthy country that that's so. Like, so what do you think? Like, do you think is a mindset because of only having so little? Or what do you think where do you think that comes from?

SPEAKER_00 16:29

Um it could be a mindset, but I'm thinking more so that sometimes because we don't have much or we didn't have much, people would just be like, Oh, I don't know if I could find time to give so much. Maybe I can give like $20 or give something from my fridge. But like, and I sometimes I think people just probably don't have the faith to be like, okay, if God is wanting me to start something as big as something a mission 180 in Trinidad, they're like, Oh, where do I actually get the resources? Who do I reach out to? And I think, and then sometimes reaching out to the government, like you have to have connections, and then sometimes people would say like the government is like screwed up and we can't talk to the government, or we might be able to get enough funding.

SPEAKER_01 17:11

Right.

SPEAKER_00 17:11

So maybe there, maybe there may be a sense of fear um in their hearts and in their minds, and as to how can I do this? Right in in Trinidad. I that's that's where I'm thinking. Um, and it could be it could stem from like that poverty mindset. Yeah. Just afraid to give too much because what if you need it? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:32

Do you think there's a distrust? A distrust of those organizations, are people really gonna do with it or they say they're gonna do with it?

SPEAKER_00 17:41

They it can look that way. Um but I think over the years people find trust over the months. They see like example for us that what we do internet at. I think we have the uh soup kitchen. I think after a couple uh tries, people are like, oh, they trust that place and they trust that church. So I I don't know. I don't know, it could it could be that way.

SPEAKER_01 18:05

A connection with that as well. I knew that when we first started doing mission work there, something Pastor Um your dad told us about was a lot of missionaries come, but not a lot of missionaries return.

SPEAKER_00 18:16

Yeah, you guys are the only people that have ever returned consistently. Yeah, it's and I don't know why. I don't know if it's because they it's too hot or they just can't handle like being in I I think mission is like a consistent thing, for sure. Um, but a lot of people, I don't know if they just want to check it off on their say I did a mission, did a mission along, which is I mean, it it's fine. I'm glad that they came when they did come. Right. Um, but it's really nice to see that you guys are consistently coming because without help from anywhere, I think if if another Caribbean island had teamed up with us and they consistently did the same thing, that would have been great. Right. But you know, knowing that we have resources even outside of Trinidad, it really helps and has been helping not just our community in Arima, but also different communicate communities when you guys move to all the different country, all the different cities or parts of Trinidad, and then also going to Tobago as well. Yeah. Um, that that's just been a blessing.

SPEAKER_01 19:16

Well, I think the importance for me is because one thing you said was the people that come always say they're gonna come back. They always tell the people they'll be back or they'll send more support or they'll help more, and then they don't. Well, it builds this distrust in people that people aren't going to keep their words, or Americans don't do what they say, or whatever it is, you know. But I think over the years of us returning, one, it's built such beautiful relationships for us. And now, like we I talk to Trinidadians every every week, I'm talking to somebody from Trinidad.

SPEAKER_02 19:49

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 19:50

And because they're a part of my life now, you know. I mean, I this is gonna sound crazy and completely off the wall. But like when me and Jevin were sitting the other day, and here we are knocking on 50. Well, he's over 50, but that's another story. Um, and we were talking about like, where do we want to be buried? Like, what would we want our funerals to look like? And that sounds kind of, you know, I don't know, negative, but like so much of who we are is in Trinidad. Like it would be sad to me if that wasn't a part of the end of my story.

SPEAKER_00 20:18

Wow, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:19

Because it's become so much a part of who we are. Of course. And so, because we built those strong relationships with people and we deeply love them. And now I know the people know that we love them, you know, and it and and we love them because Jesus loved them first. Yeah. And I think that's what communicates the real gospel to people, you know, is them seeing that consistency. And I was, we were, uh, I guess it was like two years ago, Jevin and I started praying like, do we continue to go to Trinidad? Are we just going because we've always done it? Like we would just want to take it to the Lord and it's like, is this something you want us to continue to do? You know, or do you want us to change how we're doing it? Like we were just asking the Lord these questions. And so we we both said, well, when we go this year, we're gonna ask the Lord to give us some sort of sign or revelation of what he wants us to do. Continue, not continue, does he want it to change? So we get there and um we go to the grocery store and uh the crazy white people in the midst of the sea of not white people in the store, which is just fun in itself. Like I it's not negative to me at all. I love it. Um, and doing the math in your head, the seven to one math the whole time you're in the store. There's that too. But anyway, so we're in the store. Jevin had walked off from me and he comes back and he's like, Stephanie, look, this kid. He said, Um, he had walked up to Jevin and said, Hey, are you from Give a Kid a Chance? Wow. He was in his 20s. Wow. And Jevin said, Well, yeah, but how did you know? And he said, I went all the way through your team camp. He said, I still have my backpack, and the things that you guys spoke over me is still in my heart. Wow. And like I was so like, Jesus. Yeah, like, cause you don't like that. That's the the gift of the Consistency and growing and being with people year after year, he remembered us, and it wasn't even about us remembering, like he said, the words we spoke. We know the words we spoke were from the Lord. Like those were still in this young man's heart, and he was still finding hope in that. And that's what we were just like, okay, Lord, we see you, you know. And then we get to kids camp, and this little boy is in kids camp and he comes up to and he says, Auntie Auntie, he said, Um, this is my last year of kids camp. I've come every year. And he said, Next year I get to go to Team Camp and I'm so excited. And it was just like the Lord was just like, keep going. Like that impact of coming year after year is you're starting to see the fruit from that, you know, and it's not like this one-hit wonder. Like you said, I came, I checked the box, I moved on. Yeah, yeah. You know, it was actually pouring into these kids year after year, and it it made an impact. And I think like it wasn't, I think when people see those mission trips, they don't understand like the impact it can have. It can be negative too. Like, like your dad's told me some crazy stories about some missionaries that have come that expected it to be, I don't know, some kind of five-star hotel or something, and it wasn't, you know, and but I do the opposite. Like, I really vet the people that I take on my trips. I've had to say no to people that I knew weren't ready to go. Exactly. You have to be ready. I have to be ready. And I have to tell them, what are you? How are you gonna act when we're out on the road and we're sweating like crazy and we not eating on the same schedule you're used to, and you're not eating the same food. If you think at all, you're gonna have an attitude about that, like can't go.

SPEAKER_00 23:37

Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 23:38

You have to serve. Yeah, and that means we eat what's given to us and we're thankful. And we are um, if we are sweating, we're sweating. So what? You're not going to die. And this is like this is serving the Lord, this is putting our uh uh making ourselves uncomfortable for the cause of Christ.

SPEAKER_00 23:53

And I feel like we had to, like, even like coming from a Caribbean country, from Trinidad, we had to even, when dad took um the Trinidad team, like people from the church, sorry, to other Caribbean islands, and we did mission ships like in St. Vincent and Haitian, like we were taught that as well. Even though, like, in the same Caribbean island, we were taught, like, yo, we're going on a mission trip, make sure and you keep your face intact, yeah, eat what is placed before you. Um, like you're going to serve, you're going to love on these people. Right. And you don't know what they've they've been through in their own little island that they are part of as well. So we as well like had to also be taught that because for us, like we're going to somebody else's country. We have to respect that as well.

SPEAKER_01 24:38

Yeah, because if you offend someone, they can't hear the gospel from you.

SPEAKER_00 24:42

Correct. Yeah, they can't, and they would be like, Oh, yeah, they're just coming here, just I guess take that box, check that box off.

SPEAKER_01 24:48

Yeah, they think they're better than me, they're looking down at me. And once you've offended someone on that level, you lost your opportunity to share the gospel. And why did you come? Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 24:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:58

And that that's where you have to really question yourself. So I've had people say things like, Oh, I think if I go, it'll be really good for me. Like, sorry, you can't go. Like, what what do you mean? Like, get super offended by it because if you're going for you, you've already checked the box that says you're not ready to go.

SPEAKER_02 25:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 25:16

Like it has to be, I'm gonna die to myself on this trip. Like it's gonna be different than anything I ever, and I'm gonna go with curiosity and an adventurous spirit, and I'm going for Jesus. Correct, you know, and so if it's anything else, then it's not about him anymore.

SPEAKER_00 25:29

We also had another thing where we went expecting for God to do something within us as well. Yeah. And um that really, that part really touched me because when we went to Haiti for the first time, obviously, like the the news would always show like the bad sides of Haiti, um, which in I think in every country there's always a bad side. But then when we saw the very beautiful sign, I'm like, whoa! It's like I've never seen this before. Yeah, and it was just the people in every country that have some sort of poverty, they're just, as you said, just so community oriented. Like, yes, they may not have as much, but the love that they have for each other keeps them going. That's exactly right. Keeps them going a lot. So that's why I miss the community internet ad because yeah, we may not have a lot here sometimes, or we will consistently like pray and seek God and ask God for certain things, and we really cry out to God and we hear Him answer us, and we're just so excited. It's just because, like, even though we don't have much, like we know that God is going to do a miracle, we just so excited that God is doing something within us or within the community of uh Arima, and we just excited that God is actually hearing us. Like that that keep I feel like that keeps us going, that God is actually hearing us.

SPEAKER_01 26:45

Well, and I think the less you have, the more you have to be dependent on the Lord. Yes, and the more you get to see of God because whenever we here we are in the United States and we have drugstores on every corner, and I can be like, Oh, I have a headache, I can choose from 25 different things to fix my headache before I ever ask Jesus, will you heal my headache?

SPEAKER_02 27:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:04

And I felt so convicted by that. Whenever I went to Trinidad one year and this little boy had a terrible, his mother had told us a story of her son having a root exposed in his tooth. So was going to the free healthcare clinic to try to get it taken care of, and it was going to be months before they could take care of the boy's tooth, and she didn't have the funds to take care of it. And I was like, What do you do when your baby's crying like that over that kind of pain and you can't fix it and you can't get him to a doctor to fix it? She says, We pray. We believe that the Lord can. And I'm just like, oh, I'm surrecked right now because I don't have to. Yes. I don't have to. So I don't slow it down to pray and ask the Lord, will he? So then I miss out on the miracles and what God actually wants to do in me.

SPEAKER_00 27:47

And I think I'm exposing myself a little bit here, but leaving Trinidad and then going to Canada to study and then also work and live there. Parts of me when I came back to the US, I kind of almost lost that dependency on God, to be honest. Because then I started to get everything that I needed and I wanted. I would just go down the street, I say, and just get an Advil or I could go and have millions of credit cards. You don't have those things in Trinidad. Right. Um and a lot of people don't have credit cards, they will walk at cash all the time. Like what they have their bank accounts, use their cards or whatever. Um, and it's almost like I I forgot to ask God and everything.

SPEAKER_02 28:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:35

And it it's now like coming back to me. Like, I really need to go back to the basics and go back to like literally ask God and everything that you do. Let him show you what to do, let him tell you what you should be doing in this area. Because that's where you like don't forget where you came from.

SPEAKER_01 28:52

So well, the self-reliance becomes the idol.

SPEAKER_00 28:54

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:56

And I can do it myself. Correct. I can create it myself. Yes. And that require that means I don't need God. Yeah. And that's scary. It's scary to get in a place because there will come a time in your life where you will need him. And if you don't have that reliance on him, you won't even know how to do it anymore. Correct. It's like Satan will trick you into thinking like you don't have access to it anymore. You know, and it takes such humility to get back to that place and realize like, wow, I need to rely, like you said, I need to rely on the Lord for everything. Yeah. I need to trust him with everything. It doesn't mean taking an Advil is wrong. You know, that may be the avenue he uses to heal you. And I don't think taking medicines are wrong. And I'm not saying that, but I think it's just that attitude of the heart. Yes, you know, am I relying on the Lord for something? Am I calling out to him because he wants to meet my needs, whether it's financial or physical or whatever? And it is so easy to flip back into that mode, even just going, especially going on these short-term mission trips and then coming home and just slipping right back into being comfortable. Correct. Yeah. You know, so like, how how can how can we do that? Like, other than just being intentional, I mean, how can we do that? How can we not forget who the Lord is and who he wants to be? Because honestly, I think places like Trinidad and other thorough countries, like they're tapped into something that we don't have to be tapped in here. And so now we're missing out. So how can we be so, I don't know, how do we do that then?

SPEAKER_00 30:27

I think um going off of piggybacking off of Pastor Cari said on Sunday, I think finding um community around you that talks about that definitely helps. Yeah. Um and just find like so being like for your church, yes, they know exactly what you do. So they know how to um they can they can talk to you, they can go to you, they can be like, okay, yes, this and that's what Stephanie does, and hear these stories, and then be like, oh, maybe I need to change this about myself. Because I was talking to some of your girls last night, or some of the people in their church, and I'm like, man, I've never had these kinds of conversations in Canada, like like hearing about the spiritual stuff. Like, people will ask questions. I would have people, but we would never have like deeper dive conversations or like even having experiences, you would never hear people having these kinds of experiences in Canada. And I just so I don't know why. I don't know if it's like people almost like on the surface level of Christianity entering in sorry in in Canada, um, and they don't dive deeper. Um so I think finding a community within you that can help you just always remind you, just be like, hey, always go to prayer in this, always ask God about this. Having that kind of community around you would help to um have you to just be like depend on God and don't just depend on your own um selfish mindset. Yeah. Um, and I think also going into the word of God consistently will help us like always depend on what the Lord is saying. Because there's so many stories in the Bible where it talks about you know us not depending on ourselves, but always depending on what God's will is for our lives. And even that prayer, it's like I always pray this now is like God let your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. That's how He taught us to pray. Yeah, so I'm always every day, I'm always praying, God, like even I come here. I was like, Lord, let your will be done because I don't want what I I don't want what I have to say, like you know, just come from me. I just want it to come from directly from you.

SPEAKER_01 32:35

Yeah, so yeah. I think that makes me think of the story too in the Old Testament. I think it's I think it was Jehosaphat, where they were getting ready to, their enemy was coming against them, and they should have been overcome by them. And Jehoshaphat realizes that that he had not depended on the Lord in situations. So he's repentive, and they're given this these words, and then the scripture says, but we keep our eyes on you. And then the Lord comes and defends them, and the enemies, you know, end up attacking themselves, and they just watch it happen and all the things, but that story just is so impactful to me because it's like, all right, we've done all the things, like we're watching, and now we're just waiting to see what you do, to follow your leading, you know, and because our help comes from you. And if you don't come through, yeah, this all of this falls away and we're still in your hands either way, but you know, but it's that kind of dependency of knowing, like, it has to be you, Lord. Correct, it has to be you, you know, because I can't know what's going on. And we, you know, and just learning, I think, just like you were saying, like praying every day for God's will, but also just praying every day, like, help me to see you in today. Like, where are you leading me? What are you saying? Help me to slow that down because I do think that in in, especially in my world, like it's just a busy world. Yes, and everything is so fast, and everything is so busy. And it's like sometimes you can catch yourself, like, how do I slow this down? Correct. Because I feel like I'm moving so fast right now that even if God wanted to get my attention, he probably couldn't. He probably has to wait for me to go.

SPEAKER_00 34:04

Yeah, it's it's so crazy. Like, I was busy in Trinidad, very busy in China, but I felt like I had I was busy, enjoyed being busy, and I also had a lot of time to be with God. When I move to Canada, it's like I'm busy, I am tired, and I want to sleep, and I have minimal time with God. What do you think? I don't know if it's the environment, because like when you go to church, like in Trinidad, obviously, there's a lot of community. I'm in a small church, and then you know, you guys were there for hours. We were there for hours, and then a lot of my friends, they were just from church. Yeah. Um, well, I guess we're in a PK, like you know, I just had church friends all the time. Um, and then everything was revolved, everything that I did was just change, and especially like youth ministry as well. Like I just did that like consistently. When I came to Canada, that got I tried to be involved in church. I tried to get involved, but it just people had like their own stuff and they had their own team, and it was just me trying to fit in and trying to and then I felt like my accent, like I couldn't use my Trini accent, so then I kind of won't be my full self. And yeah, it was just different. It was just very, very different. I I think the environment is just very different from Trinidad versus Canada.

SPEAKER_01 35:28

Yeah, yeah. I do definitely one of the things Jevin said that connects with what you're saying is the first year we came, he was asking, because like you said, everybody's at the church all the time. It's like the community center. Like people come there to hang out, they come there to cook, they come there to have parties, like this is just where they are all. And I mean, some of the people would sleep there at night. You know, it was just like this is different, you know. And Jevin asked the question, like, why do you guys do that? Why are you together all the time? She and the lady said to him, because when we're at home and what we have seems like little, but when we come together, it seems like much. Wow. Because we can all bring something. Yeah, you know, and so like it it's like it helps you carry that burden and not be so focused on what you don't have when you're together.

SPEAKER_00 36:16

Yeah. When I was a youth pastor in Trinidad, and there were different holidays that may land on a Friday. And then I would have a discussion with the youth leaders, you know, um, you know, should we have youth ministry on this Friday? Um, and the that holiday that we might have it on there, and they'll be like, oh no, maybe just let the youths and them go enjoy it with the families. I'm like, oh yeah, that's a good idea. They're here with us all the time. So then I put it up, I basically put it a fleece towards the youth. I'm like, guys, you know, we not gonna have youths, and they like attacked me. They're like, why? Why you not have a young you not have a youth so it was on a Friday? Like, we want to be there, we want to be there. And this one person was like, Yeah, I just I come because I have a busy day at school or and I just want to de-stress basically at e-ministry. And um, a lot of people will go to church or come to church because at home, as that person rightfully said, it's just like either chaotic. And a lot of them, a lot of the young people, their moms and dads, they may not have mums and dads, and even if if they're home, it's not a good environment. And they're trying to be a Christian in a in a non-Christian environment. So when they come to church, they get that community, they get that space to to talk about God or talk about Jesus because I that that's where they enjoy it. They they may not get food, they may not get a lot of things, but they at least they get love.

SPEAKER_01 37:39

Yeah. Well, I think too here we work so hard in our churches to make sure people don't have to be there long. So it's like we're thinking about the opposite. Like, you know, the church services have to be like this certain time, which our church is very flexible with that. It's not as structured as a lot, but like and you want because people want to be out by a certain time, you know, because they want to go and do something else. And then you don't want to have too many meetings during the week, or you don't want to have too many small groups because other people have other things to do. So it's really more, it seems like the culture here is really more outward focused than it is inward focused when it comes to the church because you're always working around that instead of the other way around. Yeah, I wonder if that's okay because it's like a different culture here. Maybe, maybe some of it is okay, but I think some of it creates a um what I call me and my four. And because then it's me and my four and no more. You don't have a lot of room for other people to get in. Like I have room for that hour on Sunday, right? But then the rest of the week is mine. Right. And so they don't want to give up any other time to build community, to do community service, you know, to serve other people. And they seemed bothered by anything past that hour. And so, like, not to say they're not serving Jesus in their homes or, you know, reading their Bibles and not suggesting that, but it seems like serving the kingdom is problematic for a lot of people. And um, giving up that time is problematic. And I don't know, I I think I think I'm a weirdo because I mean, you know, I am, but um, I wasn't raised that way. And I was raised in a Pentecostal environment, which is very similar, like how my home church was, is very similar to your church as far as we were there all the time. Yeah. And services lasted a long time and we went past lunch hour. Like this was just the way it was. We had food together all the time at the church, like that was a part of our life, so it's not weird to me. And um, so now like my whole life is service. And thankfully, and I and I believe wholeheartedly, like so many people are like, they assume you make a ton of money when you're running a nonprofit. I make no money. But um, I sacrificed that to the Lord early on. And I told the Lord that if He would, if He would take care of me, then I would serve him with my life. And um, that's hard for some people to hear. Like, why did you go to school? Like, you know, you have school debt. Well, the Lord has taken care of that for me. And one year I was like, Lord, like when am I actually gonna get a job? Like, when am I gonna actually get like a paycheck like everyone else for what I do because I'm working more than most? And and he's like, Well, are your bills paid? I was like, Well, yeah. Do you have need of anything? No. Okay. Well, then you're getting paid. Like, like that's it's just kingdom principles are different principles. And so the way the Lord has helped my husband and I is one, he has a really good job and we stay out of debt so that we don't owe other people and we have that freedom to move. So I can say, I can work these hours and and uh have little to no pay. Like I can, even though my degree says that I should get a certain pay, the world says I should get another pay. Yeah, but that's not what Jesus has called me to do in this season. And it may change, you know, it it may be something else in another season, but I've been in this season now for almost 10 years. Wow. And I've had to keep saying yes. And I've had people be like, that's dumb. Like you have a degree, you should be paid for that degree. And I understand what they mean, but when I take it to the Lord, he says something else. And I think about how the disciples lived. They literally think about when Jesus sent the disciples out. He said, Don't take anything with you. Why? Because he wanted them to be able to be dependent on him for everything they needed.

SPEAKER_00 41:27

Correct, correct.

SPEAKER_01 41:28

So, like if we can learn to live that way, and that's very counter-cultural, very counter-cultural, and it still messes with me sometimes, and I have to resurrender to the Lord and stop complaining. But um the Lord has been so good to us, and even like our trips to Trinidad, people don't understand how we've done it all these years. Well, we've given up our vacation time for 13 years, you know, and it's we've never been sorry for it because our families have bonded together and it's it's what God has done in our life, and He has He has raised that money. Yeah, we have not raised that money. I did not have, I wasn't making the amount of money that it took for one of those trips. And the Lord just always makes a way, He does, you know, so it's it goes back to that like dependence on Him. Yeah. And when we say, Lord, this is yours, because people were like, Well, I've had people say, especially Americans, because they have a hard time with that, but it's like, why do you even bother going to feed somebody for a week if they're gonna be hungry next week? Because that day it mattered to those people, and they seen Jesus. And if we led one soul, it was worth 10 people coming to another nation and it costing us $20,000 or whatever it costs for that soul. God doesn't put dollars on people's souls.

SPEAKER_00 42:40

Nope. He doesn't, he doesn't care what it costs. Nope, he doesn't. It reminds me of a book that I'm currently reading called Uh Living Fearlessly by Jimmy Winship, I think. Check it out. Um and it's talking about finding your vocation. And it sounds on it almost sounds like like I'm re- I'm listening to you speak and I'm I'm hearing the words from the book come to life. Um, but he's talking about finding your identity first, and then your vocation comes afterwards, your your identity through Christ, and whatever your identity is, like your vocation, it will be like a complete fulfillment that you won't be able to you won't miss anything because whatever you're doing for the Lord like would cover everything else for your life. Like and and that's what I'm I have been trying to find. Like I know what I'm called to do, I know what the Lord has called me to do, but it's almost like getting to that point, and um, but yeah, just hearing hearing that from you and hearing it almost sounds like you've it's it sounds like a a great fulfillment that you would never ever lack because you've been called in that specific area of your life consistently, and God has been calling you and your family there. So it's cool to hear. It's cool to hear.

SPEAKER_01 43:58

Well, I'm thankful that the Lord taught me. that because I did grow up in a I grew up in a poor home. Like um I never was without what I needed. My parents were amazing. Um but um we didn't have a ton but I didn't really know it because God was so good to us um in spite of that. But and my dad and mom were so generous. They were such giving people and still are number one supporters for Trinidad by the way it's my parents number one supporters and always have been and my dad taught me early on I would hear him say when they didn't have money I would hear my dad say I guess it's time to give and I knew they I was like didn't they just say they couldn't pay whatever bill it was you know and then dad's like I guess it's time to give how you gonna give if you don't have they found a way and the Lord would always make a way for us. And that stuck in my head like that's that means we're not the source. Like he's the source. You know and it's easy to slip into that and now here we are sitting you know Mission 180 started you know she you had to move in with us when we bought this old church that we're getting it was so bad. When you guys came to live with us and your dad called us because you know COVID happened and your school shut down and Trinidad's borders shut down and yes um and your dad called and was like I I need somewhere for my kids to go and I was like well if they don't mind living in a disaster zone right now because it's a complete construction zone that we're living in the middle of and uh but the Lord took that that we took an old church that we lived in and rent owned and served people out of and the Lord's seen our hearts in that I believe and now we're sitting literally in a building that is um about seven times the size of that building and uh and the property is much bigger than that. But and I think about that sometimes like this because I walk in here I'm like this is big what are we gonna do with this Lord you know but I give it all to him you know and he makes a way and so we just have to find ways to keep ourselves in that area. Like I can't and so a pastor once said to me I've never forgotten this he said if what God calls you to doesn't make you want to drop to your knees or vomit it probably isn't him. Wow and I've felt that so many times in this building and I was like this must be you because I feel that so much you know I can't do it apart from you. But um you know I your life and your family has encouraged me so much and it's challenged me so much. And so I'm thankful for our family's connection. So am I and it's um it's forever now I mean John is my son and if something ever happens to John or something ever happens to my son them two are going to be totally lost because they love each other too they do. Yeah and um I'm thankful for that bond and that brotherhood that they have because it's really grew my son into who he is and all of those things God knew when he put our families together. Correct yeah you know and growing us in our relationships with Christ like he's used our partnerships and our relationships and our ministries to grow each other. And I think that's that's how we can roast our excuses is by saying like we're gonna surrender that to the Lord. Correct we're gonna go to places that doesn't seem like it's feasible or possible we're gonna do things that don't seem like I can do on my own and we're gonna say yes to that. Yeah. And your family is a testament of that.

SPEAKER_00 47:21

Yeah a hundred percent you're gonna roast them and do what God has called us to do for sure. Exactly because he's uh we're put on this planet to do things for him. Right. And we have to do away with the flesh and follow what he has he sent he sent us to send us to do.

SPEAKER_01 47:37

That's right. Yeah because we're gonna be held accountable for that 100%. And I want to hear well done not you wicked lazy servant and get away well thank you for being here today on Boom Roasted um we're gonna have to do this again. Yeah of sure I would love that and maybe next time we'll be in Trinidad together and we can do live in Trinidad Maracas Bay Maracas again thank you so much. Yeah absolutely and I hope you have safe travels back home and come back soon. Yes thank you so thank you all right