Boom Roasted with Shauna S2 EP9

Meet my friend Shauna Bunn, she works with Harvest Outreach Ministries Women's house. Her life led her to this incredible work and labor of love for the lost and the addicted.

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:28

Hi guys, it's Stephanie here with Boom Roasted, and I'm with my special guest, Miss Shauna Bunn, with Harvest Outreach Ministries. We are going to be chatting today, but we have been sitting here drinking our coffee for a bit, but we had cold brew with some English toffee syrup in it, and it was really good.

SPEAKER_00 0:46

That's so good.

SPEAKER_02 0:47

And obviously it's been pretty good because we've drunk it down. Yeah. So I did make the cold brew myself. It is a great method if you have acid issues for sure. It's very highly caeinated, but super smooth and strong.

SPEAKER_01 1:00

So good.

SPEAKER_02 1:01

Yeah. And you put your order that you put in with me was strong and sweet. Strong and sweet. I'm I made the order. You made it perfect. Thank you. So today we are talking about the ministry that you work with, which is Harvest Outreach, here in Hannibal. And they have several branches. So you have the women's house, the men's house, and loaves and fishes. Yes. Which um at Loves and Fish, they have a hot meal that they serve every evening, Monday through Friday, and then they serve also they give away food for Feed America, right?

SPEAKER_01 1:31

Weekend boxes, yep. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 1:32

So every Friday. Yeah. So that's a food program that kind of you said was birthed out of Harvest Ministries for the men and women's For the women's for the houses.

SPEAKER_01 1:41

Yeah, that's how it started. Oh not just, you know, grown into something else. Grown into something else. Yeah. She's got her own ministry down there.

SPEAKER_02 1:49

And it feeds a lot. Yes. They feed a lot of mills down there. Um, our church actually um sponsors a mill there umce a month. I think it's once a month, it might be twice a month now. But um yeah, it's amazing. I only hear positive things coming from what's going on down there. And Billy's got a heart for it because she's been there. She's walked that walk. Yes, she has. She's got a whole ministry down there. She does very good. She does. It's a lot for her.

SPEAKER_01 2:11

Yeah. She does an awesome job.

SPEAKER_02 2:13

Yeah, she does. She's a part of that committee that I'm on too that um try counting a lot. And so we see her on a regular basis too. And it's good. It's so good that there's so many, there's so many different outreaches in our town that we can collaborate and come together and um learn more about that because and we haven't talked about this before, but our church is bringing um an addiction recovery center for men into our town, and we're not enemies.

unknown 2:40

No.

SPEAKER_01 2:41

No, we don't, we're not gang. No, we're not. Right? We're fellow kingdom workers doing it. Doing it for the glory of God. And there's an there's we've had no empty beds in the men's for, I mean, just recently, maybe one or two. So that tells you the need is very great. Yeah, it is very so yes. I think we could all work together and I think it'll be I think so too.

SPEAKER_02 3:04

It'll just and there may be times, I think, even where there could be like maybe there's men that come through our houses that we're not able to help that maybe you can, or vice versa. You know, so um hopefully we're gonna be able to work together and um you know, and help each other because we want the same things.

SPEAKER_01 3:21

Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_02 3:22

So, and that's to heal our communities and to help people thrive and to go after Christ, because that's the only one they're gonna be able to do it. That's what I believe anyway. Um, I think these other recovery programs that are not Christ-centered programs are um putting band-aids on it because it's got to change your identity or they're gonna go back. So I think it's a rare case that walks away from addiction apart from Christ. But so um I want to know how you came to be connected with Harvest, and I know that a part of that is because you walk through addiction yourself. Yes. And so you were young when you started um your journey. So kind of give me a s a summary of what that looked like.

SPEAKER_01 4:07

Okay, so like um, you know, I have to go back to um the roots. I have to go back to look at, you know, what was going on from an early age because I started using fairly early. Yeah. Um, you know, I I grew up in a home. My dad was a fireman. Um together, they had five children. I was the youngest um until the age of nine when they divorced. So that that first part of my life, what I remember is um the fighting, you know, the abuse, the anger. Um, that's that's those are my memories. So I wasn't real close with my dad um at that time in my life. We moved to Texas, my mom remarried. Um, there was a lot of active alcoholism. Um, and with that, you know, comes abuse. And so by the time I moved back to Hannibal to live with my dad at the age of 13, I was pretty much out of control.

SPEAKER_00 5:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:10

Um, I wanted to run and and drink and you know, party on the weekends, and um, you know, he I'm I'm back living with somebody that is like a stranger to me. Yeah. Um he had remarried. Uh you know, she had like six kids. Um, so we had a a full house. Yeah. You know, and I just kind of slipped under the radar. Yeah. You know, and I and I think back and I think about the uh, you know, the pain and the and the stuff that I put upon my dad, you know, at that time in my life. And, you know, and later on, uh God, you know, he restored that and I was able to make amends to that. And I, you know, I took care of my dad um the last couple years of his life, and I got to know him as a as an adult. Yeah. And um, you know, and the same with my mom, you know, they just did the best they could with what they had.

SPEAKER_02 6:09

You have to offer them grace too, because they were walking their own journeys.

SPEAKER_01 6:12

Yes. My mom was, you know, she was um given away at the age of two. So I'm sure that played a part in her decisions. She didn't know who her dad was. Um she died in 2011. I had like six months sober, you know. But God was gracious and let me be there with her. And um, you know, about four years ago, I I took a DNA test just to see, and you know, within two hours that I knew who my my mom's biological father was.

SPEAKER_00 6:46

Really?

SPEAKER_01 6:47

You know, unfortunately she was already gone. She didn't get to know that. But um, yeah, so God just puts to pieces, you know. Um so at the age of, you know, teenage years, I was, you know, just out of control, running away, not coming home, you know, running the streets, um, 16 years old, um pregnant and married, and uh, you know, and that's really the when I I uh wanted, you know, God to make sure I had a healthy baby. And um, that's really when I started praying to him. Um it didn't last, you know, uh 19 years old, we're young, and you know, that marriage didn't work, and we're co-parenting, and um, you know, uh by that time I'm in the bar scene. And um, you know, I'm working second job in the bars, and and that became my life. Um and in my mind with my daughter, you know, as long as I gave her good clothes and good toys, you know, um, that was being a good mom. And and it was things that, you know, it was so distorted because um I really wanted to be a good mom. Yeah, you know, but that in me it just ran in and um, you know.

SPEAKER_02 8:08

Well, probably also like surrounding yourself with people that were living a similar life. Oh, yes. Like they had kids and you they were in the bar and they were drinking and you know, and their kids seemed fine. It just didn't seem abnormal.

SPEAKER_01 8:20

No. No. Um, it's just what we did. Yeah, you know, um, and then the the smoking the marijuana every day and you know, and with the bar scene comes other things. Yes. The the binging of the cocaine and the meth. And um, you know, so that was I really wanted to come home at night. I really did. I just never could. You know, I could never it was like a I was a wild animal in a cage that just couldn't be tamed. And I was searching, you know, searching for something. I just didn't know what it was. And I know today it was God. Yeah. That peace, it only comes from Him. And um, I try to find that peace in people and in substance and things. Um, you know, so um, you know, what really brought me to Christ was um, you know, in 1996, I again it was a a week of partying, you know, Tom Sawyer days, and my husband at the time, you know, he was in the JC's, and that's just what we did. Everything was surrounded by the alcohol. Um, but I knew there was something not right. And so I checked myself into the Newman Clinic and they wanted to send me to AA. And I'm like, that's crazy. Everybody drinks the way I do, you know. Again, just it was your circle, it just seemed normal. Yeah, everything we did was surrounded by the alcohol, you know, it was socially acceptable. Um, and so, you know, I uh and they and and you know, the they said, well, you can have God in your life. And I'm like, Really? You can have God in your life? And I thought I knew, you know, there was periods of time, like I said, that I would pray, but um I'd never read the word. I'd never read the Bible. I'd never I didn't even know who this Jesus person was. Yeah, you know, and but God put people, you know, in my path to um mentor me, you know, um, really good people, and I'm they're still near and dear to my heart. Um, so that's really when my recovery journey started, and that's when my relationship with Christ. Yeah. Um, and that's when the conviction started, and that's when I would, you know, I wasn't willing to give up those people, those places and things. Yeah, I can give up the places, but those people, yeah, you know, and in doing that, I continued to leave that door open where on a rough day, or maybe a good day, I'd be like, I can do this, I can handle this, you know. Yeah. And again and again, it's it was the insanity over and over again. Um so in 90s, you know, in 98, 99, I uh went on a bench. My daughter was at her dad's for the weekend, and um started probably with just, you know, maybe drinking a little bit, and then next thing you know, you're at the dope house, and and come the end of the weekend, I'm in respiratory distress because I I smoke too much meth, you know. Uh my my my daughter's dad is like, um, she's coming with me, you know. And by God's grace, you know, he was into church and he you know, he grew up in that. I didn't grow up in the church.

SPEAKER_00 11:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:51

Um and you know, you get you have a year to get it together, and then you know, she can come back. Uh nine years later or whatever, 17, you know, um, is when she came back because instead of using it as a motivator, I use it to self-destruct. And um, they say the progression gets it gets more progressively worse.

SPEAKER_02 12:17

Cause you because you weren't getting high the same way. Right. And it wasn't no and you'd said before that it just wasn't as much fun anymore. It wasn't like recreational at this point.

SPEAKER_01 12:28

No. You were having to do it. Yes. And it's not a respecter of person, and um, so now I'm I'm doing it because I have to.

SPEAKER_00 12:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:36

Um, 2001, for some reason I could binge, you know, be gone for a week, then, you know, be okay for a little bit. But for some reason, in 2001, I crossed over a line, and from 2001 to 2006, I didn't see a sober breath. I got full blown into my methodiction, you know, within six months. Um having to get high a certain way, and you know, all those things that I said I'd never be, I suddenly become. And um and it it took me to my lowest.

SPEAKER_00 13:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:10

And if and I truly believe that I gave my heart to Christ in 1996 because the conviction, you know, and it it wasn't fun. Yeah. Um, but he showed up, you know, he showed up every time in the grace, you know, that he gave me.

SPEAKER_02 13:30

Um probably didn't feel great in the time when he showed up because it was like, oh, you're here. Yeah. I'm in dark places, I'm trying to do bad things, and then you're here. But then it was that reminder of it was please just take me out of this.

SPEAKER_01 13:43

Yeah. Um, you know, so so I know, I know that life, you know. Yeah. Um, and I got to the bottom. I got to to the bottom before I was able to surrender. Yeah. Um, and actually let him do his work in my life.

SPEAKER_00 13:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:59

Um, so, you know, self-medicating the the marijuana. Um, you know, I know that complete abstinence, and I have to not put anything in there if I'm going to be the person that God has called me to be. Yeah. And um so you had to change those people, places and changes. You know, even those people that uh, you know, that I didn't want to let go of were like, yeah, you don't need to come around here. It's just too much for us. Yeah. You know. So um, yeah, so you know, by God's grace, I had those relationships with with the people um, you know, in the AA and around the tables, and um, you know, they were there for me. Yeah. And they stepped up. And you know, those family members, that dad, you know, he was, he showed up. Yeah. Um, you know, so I'm very blessed to have the family that I have because a lot of people don't.

SPEAKER_02 15:00

No, because they they end up a lot of time addicts. What I see is they just burn all the bridges and families just quit because and I understand it. I'm not judging families that do because they get stole from, you know, they get violently abused, you know, all the things. And I I get it, you know, and kids get, you know, messed up in the middle of it, and and a lot of times they do end up with nothing and no one. Yeah, you know, so that is a blessing that you ended you were able to get to the bottom and still have people that were there for you. So praise God for that. Yeah, yes, yeah, because that community support and and the people that we deal with, even coming through the ministry that we do now, the ones that have people and have community are the ones that can make it. The ones that we're having to help find community for, trying to get plugged in with community, those are the ones that are the hardest to get back on track, you know, because they don't have anybody to help teach them these skills and and and say, hey, you can do this, you know, you can get through this and just link arms with them and help them walk through whatever this changes for them. But so that's awesome that you had that because that was that was definitely what was probably holding you up, you know, as you were walking through this brand new life of being clean, you know, and then and then here you are clean, and I bet you never thought in a million years like I'm gonna work for a recovery place.

SPEAKER_01 16:23

You know, I had to uh meetings are great. Yeah, I'm never gonna take that away. Yeah, meetings are great, but you can get just as complacent and stagnant by just going to meetings. Yeah you're not you're not growing in the Lord, you're you know, and so for the first 15 years of that, I really did struggle. It wasn't until 2011 that I'm like, okay, Lord, I'm gonna make you my Lord. You know, you're the you're it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:55

Um because there's a difference. That's interesting that you say Lord too, because um accepting Jesus as your savior, you know, Jesus, you saved me. You know, you're my savior. I want you to come in my life. You saved me from sin. I don't want to go to hell, you know, all those things. That's different. Jesus is savior. But Jesus is Lord, I want you to Lord over my life. I want you to be king. I want you to sit on the throne of my heart. Now that's a whole different thing. I'm surrendering myself to you at that point.

SPEAKER_00 17:24

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 17:25

And so that that is a different step.

SPEAKER_01 17:28

I mean, that's you know, it says if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, believe in your heart, you shall be saved. Yeah. It's not saying it's now I'm I'm confessing. You're my Lord. Yes. And what is the Lord? He is over my life. I am serving you now. Right. And uh that doesn't come easy for people like us. It really is. We're used to serving me. We're serving self, selfishness, self-sinnish. Yeah, yeah, that's the root. And so, um, but you know, and and so he, yeah, in 2011, I'm like, Lord, you're my Lord now. Yeah, I'm gonna serve you, I'm gonna, I'm gonna live for you. And um, you know, and that's that's what I've done, and and that's what I try to do. And never did I think that he would put me in the position of, you know, being a director of a woman sober living house. Never did I think he would put me in a position of everything that he did prior to that, you know, um, you're gonna go to work at the treatment center, you're gonna be a recovery specialist, you're gonna be a counselor, recovery counselor, you know. Those weren't things that I had a desire for. Like a lot of people when they get sober, I want to counsel. Well, okay, you have fun with that because that's not what I want to do. Right. So everything that I thought I wanted, I'm doing the opposite of. And really, that's what God was doing to um get me to this point. Now I don't know. He was preparing me. I don't know if this is where I'll stay. Right. You know, it's gotta be a stepping stone to the next place. It may be.

SPEAKER_00 18:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:58

Um, because when I was asked to come and help, I'm like, I just retired from the treatment center and to go to work for my husband, it's a lot easier, you know. Um, and so I was, I don't have time for that, you know. I don't, okay, I'll come and help. And, you know, he knew what he was doing. Yeah. And for the first three years, I volunteered, you know, that's what I did. And people, you know, they thought I was crazy. Yeah. Why are you doing that? Why are you putting everything into that? And you're not even getting paid. But that's what I felt God was calling me to do. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:33

And I and you can't, like, when you say yes to the Lord, the blessings that come from that, that's what the world doesn't understand. Like, God gives in different ways. And when we surrender that, and you and I both have talked about this, we have husbands that are our number one fans, and they're fully supportive of what if we say we've heard from the Lord and this is what we're called to do, they believe us and they support us and financially support us. And so me and you both have been in positions where we work for ministries that we weren't getting paid for, but we're working full-time. Yeah. I mean, this is a full-time job. And so um that, but we're giving we're working as volunteers as far as the pay goes. But, you know, and and here I am, you know, as a person who I did go to school for this. Like, this is what I went to school for, is to work in ministry. And but to the world, it looks so crazy. Like, what do you mean you're not getting paid? You're working 40 hours a week for what? Well, for Jesus, you know, for the kingdom of God. You know, my husband came home one day and he was like, I got this, I got this bonus. You know, he was telling me all about it. And uh, he looked at me, he's like, Why aren't you more excited? I was like, Well, I guess all my reward is in heaven. It was like, he was like, he just started laughing. I was like, no, seriously, like I'm I'm really happy for you. But but that is where my reward has to lie because I'm not with what I'm doing where I am right now. The reward is in heaven.

SPEAKER_01 20:56

It has to be. It is. Listen, everything we have, and this is what I come to realize everything we have is just alone test. That's exactly right. We're not taking that. You know, at six months, my mom passed away. I got to be there. Yeah. Um, I got to watch my dad take his last breath. I got to take care of him and help him and get to know him. That all that's gifts. Yeah. It's painful, but it's a gift. It is a gift. He didn't take anything with him. Yeah, that's what you know. So everything I have today is loaned to me. So if I was to pass this world, everything I have is somebody else is going to use. Yeah. And what are you going to take with you?

SPEAKER_02 21:32

What you sowed for the kingdom of God is what you're going to take with you. So I think we're so like when we when we talk about all of that about what are you getting? What are you getting? What are you getting? It's still such a selfish thing to think about because in a moment, you know, your parents may have died when they were older, but like my brother was snatched from this earth when he was a young man. Like we don't know. We don't know what's going to be waiting for us. It could all be over in just a just a blink. You know? And and so just so. sewing into the right things because we don't know when that's going to be, you know. So saying yes to the kingdom of God with what we have and and it when it looks like, how could I say yes to working full time and not making any money? Well, if Jesus says to go, he's going to make a way, you know, and I've never done without. And in fact, I mostly have walked in abundance. You know, and so and I'm thankful for that because I know that I'm doing what God has called me to do. You know, and so you have to, you have to roast the excuses when people are just like that there's no way you could just do that. Yes, I can do it. Yes, I can do it. And like we go on these mission trips. I don't I don't pay for these mission trips. I couldn't pay for these mission trips. You know, these mission trips run $20 to $25,000 every time we go. That sounds like a huge amount of money. I don't make that much money in a year right now. And but what why do we go and why do we spend that money? Because souls don't have dollar amounts. That's right. When Jesus sends us to go, if one person is led to Christ, God doesn't care what it costs to get to them. And that's what I tell people. I was like I if it cost me $100,000, if he told me to go, there's a soul there waiting and I'm going to go, you know, and he's going to make a way. He doesn't care you have to just drop a million dollars on it because I'm not paying for it. The Lord is paying for it. Now he utilizes other people to help us get there and people can be used in their ministry of giving to help us get there. And I believe that their reward is also in heaven you know because it takes us all to get to that place. But we have to we have to surrender that to the Lord like you said it's loan to us. And if we really believe that our finances are loaned to us our material possessions our children all of that is unloan to us then we freely give it back.

SPEAKER_01 23:46

Yes. You can't outgive God either you can't He always makes the way that's exactly right. Always makes a way you know when we when we got into that when they asked me to come to this house I'm going to tell you and we had talked about this too but there's a big difference between women and men. Men don't know what they're doing when it comes to the women right they don't even need to try to pretend um and so it really does take not just one woman it takes a community of women um and it's so you know and it takes people that are strong in their recovery and in their walk with the Lord. Yes. And so you know I don't ask these women to do anything that I don't do. Yeah. And it is about surrounding them with you know healthy women. That's right.

SPEAKER_02 24:35

Um and knowing how to do like what you were saying before like knowing how to do those basic things and being that self-aware like what that analogy used about the dish. Yeah. Yeah like knowing like who's going to take care of that? Yes. Who's responsible for that?

SPEAKER_01 24:49

Yes. It's learning to we were like little tornadoes whipping and rolling through life. Yeah. I mean not you know when it stops oh well this is grand the wind's not blowing. No what about all the destruction you just caused? Right. And so when we come in we're so unself disciplined we don't even realize that putting an empty cup in the dish in the sink and walking away like who's going to clean that right if you just sit it there who are you expecting to clean right so that's one of the things that we try to really how what we do always affects somebody else. Right. And you have nine women living in a house everything you do is going to affect affect the next person.

SPEAKER_02 25:30

And if everyone is not thinking about the next person, boy, that piles up quick with that many people in a house. Yes. So you have to be so self-aware with that. And I think like just teaching people in general to be kind and loving each other well and that is it is so hard to teach in our culture. Because we teach each other to to just do you. Right. You know just think about yourself. And even me and my pastor I've had this conversation um about even the entitlement in the church where people walk into a church where they expect it to be the right temperature and the seats to be just the right comfortability and there to be a a worker in the nursery that's certified in CPR and you know and and there to be a meal after church and and the bathrooms to be clean but who's doing that? Yeah exactly exactly who's paying for that right like and and they don't expect to have to give anything toward it not their time not their finances not their resources but they want all of those things or they'll go to the next church and then who's doing it there? They think I don't know do you do do you think the government's paying for all of this because they're not because churches are supported by the people. Right. And so it's like that it can flood over it's not just an addict issue. It's a people issue. Yeah. And if you're not like embedded with the word of God and you're not realizing that it is about loving God and loving people and everything we do needs to be about loving God and loving people then if we're taking we're taking from the next person. You know and if we're if we're giving we're giving to the next person. So we have to choose are we going to be the consumer or are we going to be the contributor? Right.

SPEAKER_01 27:10

And so and that's that's you know we've been takers our whole lives. That's right. Now let's give back um you're not just and it's the same with the houses you know they're they have to pay a certain amount to live there. Everything's covered but it's not about giving a handout it's about giving a handout. Right. And now start now we're going to be self-supporting. Yes. We're not going to depend on we're going to work toward these things. And it is some of them you know it's been hard. They haven't worked for years. Yeah. Um so you know but it it is about taking your mentor out to eat. Not expecting your mentor to pay every time.

SPEAKER_00 27:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:47

You know um and and it's just being of service going to loads and fishes serving getting out of self you know so it's it's more than just oh let me get sober and how I'm going to live here. I mean there's a whole lot to it. And we do have to be patient and we do have to be you know um gentle at times but then you have to be assertive at times too.

SPEAKER_02 28:13

Yeah. Well I think it's the book of James no it's Jude that talks about we have to know when to snatch some out or to be gentle with them. And because some need one way and some need another. And so you have to have that discernment of which ones need which you know and and that does take a lot of love and um patience to be able to identify which is which when it comes especially to addicts because they can be manipulators. That's what they've had to do their whole life. But what did you say the other day?

SPEAKER_01 28:42

Can a con right you spot it you got it all those things you know you've been there you know so yeah and you know and recently we had a a booth donated to us um at an antique store at Bluebird. Yeah she's wonderful she uh and so it's about you know people donate and it's so it's whatever profits we make off of that goes back into the house. We got some carpet. Yeah you know it's about teaching these ladies you know because it's not easy doing a booth. I mean it it can be yeah you gotta keep it up you know um but it's just about paying our way we're paying our way. Yeah. Um you know about a year ago I went to I stepped into a position in the ministry to help Larry uh Pastor Larry you know I do the applications I do the office work and stuff like that. So um you know that takes some time too but I love the ministry. I love what it what it's about you know it and just watching it and and God knew what he was doing. When I said I don't have time to go do this yeah you know and not everybody understands. I mean I've lost people I thought were my friends. Yeah. You know they um you shouldn't push things on it. Well this these people know it's Christ centered when they agree. They know what is expected of them when they agree to come to the house. Right. Um and I really feel this is the way the Lord has called me to do um seven years ago he said you're gonna start a meeting it's gonna be a 12 step but it's gonna be a life recovery. Yeah and we prayed on it for about a year you know and it's been going for seven years. It's everybody needs that it's not just for addicts it's for anybody with life issues uh grief you know relationships and um you know but our higher prayer is Jesus Christ. Yeah it's not of who we want it to be yeah you know so I and I would have never known that if I hadn't have experienced you know where he started me in you know in that 12 step group um years ago. Yeah so he knew what he was doing. He knew I needed that to come to him because if I'd have just got thrown in maybe it wouldn't have been the way it was but regardless um he is the the way yeah you know he's the way he is and so um I had a very hard time in in working for the state of Missouri because I can't always get on board yeah with things you know if it's against my belief then that's probably not where I need to be. Right. Exactly so it's complete abstinence no marijuana maintenance you know um because then I do shut off the that connection with God.

SPEAKER_02 31:41

Um so I'm old school when it comes to a lot of that yeah but but you also has experienced it it's not coming from someone who hasn't walked it. Right. And I think that has to count for something. Yes. You know um it's not like you're just pulling this out of the sky somewhere you know and I think a lot of times those rules are made from people who haven't walked the journey. Yes. You know and I think they Exactly so that's that's a little scary actually. It is scary. You know and and when you're a person of faith you understand something you know so I think that that's that's some wisdom that comes from that. But I I think like working from um the perspective of someone now working at this this house and you and Pastor Kathy both have done an amazing job there of just producing a house that is a home is a home there and you guys do meals together and and you decorate amazing even what you guys have done at the church is amazing. And we we haven't talked about this but you guys actually bought our original Mission 180.

SPEAKER_01 32:35

God had a hand on that that was such a crazy you know that's been two years now that's crazy I can't even believe it how I was able to watch it all take place like who was selling here who was moving into this position and I was just like never did I think we were going to be the one you know is so crazy.

SPEAKER_02 32:54

Um how it just God's timing and he you know sometimes he just shows it like other times you just got to yeah and it just happened at such a weird time but you know when we were moving out of that building and you know we had just built our new church building and then that opportunity opened up for us to be in the kneecac building and we're like well that's really close to the church and we knew we were going to be moving into a house and out of it because we lived in the church and uh and we knew we wanted it to stay in a ministry's hand. And we had an opportunity to sell to a restaurant and it just hurt my heart. I was just like Lord I just don't think that's what you want us to do. And I just we had done we had put blood sweat and tears in that building you know and and our own money and our own time and uh converting that church into our ministry center and uh and living there. That was our home too, you know? And so uh it hurt my heart to leave it but but it was hurting even more to think it was going into somebody's hands that might make tacos. Right. And I was just like I just don't think this is what the Lord wants. So whenever I heard through the grapevine that it might be you guys, I was like, oh Lord, that would just make my heart soar to know that it would go to someone who was doing kingdom work. And so to see that you guys got it and then took it to another level like that just blessed me so much.

SPEAKER_01 34:21

We started in a hallway right Kathy said I'm just gonna do this until God sends somebody 10 years later we're comfortable down in Frankfurt right we're comfortable there. We don't we you know we never had to borrow money we just kept tearing walls down.

SPEAKER_02 34:37

It was comfortable yeah and then that you know was sold and we're like oh right at the right time and and he's given us a beautiful place to work it is so not just that but you know that's my office down close to where you guys are with the harvest house it just was the perfect place at the perfect time. And I'm just so grateful that the Lord used us to like build it and then connect the dots with you guys and because when we got it it was a mess and but he gave us a vision and um you know and you guys just finished finished it and took it to another level and are are continuing to do God's work there. And I just love it. And I and I love that we are continuing to work together and you and Pastor Kathy mean so much to me and and um us meeting now for lunches I love it because because we need it we need each other and we need to have safe places to have conversations about what we're going through in ministry to be able to talk and um because um we we go through our things too you know in ministry and in our own families and it's not always safe to talk in our spaces um you know so being able to have people that we can respect and know that you guys will keep those things confident you know within your little circle and and be able to speak and pour into each other and pray um means a lot to me.

SPEAKER_01 36:02

We have to have somebody that's not emotionally entangled in our stuff absolutely that's not connected to you. And I don't want people in my life that are just going to sugarcoat and you know cash my check so to speak and just tell me whatever. I want truth. I want people that are going to call me out or tell me that's how we grow. That's exactly right and um you know because that's how it sharpens. I mean there's there's some rubbing yeah there's some rubbing with that's right. And one thing you can determine with Kathy she's gonna tell you whether you like it or not and she's I couldn't do anything without her I'm so grateful that she was like yeah I'll come and help you with the meal. Never did she expect it. Never did I expect it but you know these women it's just about building this community around them.

SPEAKER_02 36:49

And when you see her in the house you it just looks like she belongs there. Yeah she does belong there.

SPEAKER_01 36:53

It looks like this is her house and these are her people the women love her you know and she's still the pastor you know um and so it's you just there's something to it there's if you really want to see people build that life that they're not wanting to trade in it you know it's that firm foundation and it's just giving them something. Now our church isn't for everybody. We get it sure but it there's something about it. Yeah you know there's something about that that um it works for us it that's it works for people like us. That's right. You know I would say 90% of the people are have been to prison or recovering you know my husband I have 20 years in July of continuous sobriety you know I just celebrated 15 years in February. It's not about that but it's about wow look what God has done you know he brought us back together in um in church because we ran, you know, we the house we live in was I mean it was not a house of worship I can assure you. It was there was a lot of things that you know um in that lifestyle my children have been raised in that my grandchildren's has been raised in that home and never it's not even the same as what it was you know 20 plus years ago. Yeah. Um so you know we had talked too about blending our families um my daughter you know um I had Reagan and then he had Josh and Connor and then in the last couple years um Taylor his a biological daughter that they hadn't really known each other God has brought in and we've been I prayed for it from day one you know that God would work that out and it didn't happen overnight you know and it's a slow process but I mean she's ours I'm keeping her yeah you know what I mean I'm keeping that girl that's so beautiful though. And I always joke like if Johnny and I had kids together it would be you yeah because you're just like us but um it's God's timing.

SPEAKER_02 39:02

Absolutely you know we get together once a month the all of us uh my kids and we have eight grandkids together and there's just a sweetness in that though you know there's a sweetness in that in that reconciliation and the grace that's come from your children and for you and you know there's a there's a gratitude that you wouldn't have had if you hadn't walked through what you walked through. Wow you know and I think that that builds such strong bonds in a family that you couldn't have any other way you know because you appreciate stuff. Oh my you appreciate things now when you look and and can slow things down and and and look in your grandkids eyes and and I know sometimes you probably have that little bit of an ache of wishing like oh I wish I could have been there you know um when you weren't but then realizing that the Lord you know he has got grace to cover all of that and it's sufficient you know and because I because I have that too I was so young when I had my first one and I was with an abusive first husband and I know I feel like I missed so much in the first years because it was just surviving you know um but I'm so thankful that the Lord kept me through that time and and now whenever I watch my grandson run around I'm just like whoo slow it down you know I just want to soak it all up.

SPEAKER_01 40:17

You know it is it's just God has just given us those you know those blessings. And you know by all rights they could have so many resentments towards us that they wouldn't even want to be around us. Yeah. You know and it happens all the time where kids just don't want to be around their parents and it's hard for especially the women because a lot of these women are coming in they haven't even been able to see their kids to talk to their kids. Yeah. You know I was blessed Johnny was blessed or you know the their other parents were stable and you know and you know gave them the things that we fell short in um but you know you just these women I watched I watch them get their children back. I watch them get them back in their lives you know and and that's just that's what we gotta think about when they're coming in you know like you gotta just see them where they're at and all right what is their needs? Well they haven't seen their kids for however many years you know Mother's Day isn't gonna be easy for them.

SPEAKER_00 41:26

Right.

SPEAKER_02 41:26

You know on those birthdays those anniversaries um but it's just there's a lot of regret it's so much regret and we could get sucked into that so much it's easy to relapse thinking about that regret and and fall into the temptation of being condemned feeling the condemnation of the enemy that wants to shame you for what's happening but you know if you can rise above that and just know how much the Lord loves you. Yes you know and how he he wants to bring beauty from it even though you know yeah I mean like Johnny and I I mean he you know he went to federal prison I you know um was into my stuff and um you know the statistics isn't very good but it comes to us.

SPEAKER_01 42:10

Um but like I said we started attending a church together and um at the same church and you know and I just as time went on I'm like Lord if if this is what you have in in mind for me you're gonna have to change my heart. Yeah um because by that time I was determined nothing was gonna take me off of my where I'm at with the Lord. Yeah and um and it's just beautiful yeah you know we've been because you build a life we built a life and with him in the center you know every morning he prays over me every night he prays for us you know and that's how it's been every you know the whole time yeah and that's the number one thing to to really for people like us that are selfish and self-centered to actually be a good spouse to have a healthy relationship is to put Christ in the middle and in prayer make you know we we will weave around him and um you know so he's doing something.

SPEAKER_02 43:12

Yeah and we want to be an example to our children and our grandchildren and I want to be there you know to help them in any way that I can yeah and when you build that life like you said and what we can just close up with this is like when you build that life and how did you say it build a life you're not willing to trade in. Build that life that you're not willing to trade in like that's when you'll start roasting every excuse like I'm not gonna make any more excuses. I'm just going to do whatever it takes to build that life you know and then you'll start setting goals and you'll you'll make it happen and you'll start giving yourself up and surrendering that self to be able to go after that life. You know and I think um the Lord is going to be with you every step of the way I know he will. And so and he's done that in your life and he's doing it in these women's lives and these men's life in this program that you guys have that he's blessed you guys with and he's gonna keep doing it. He's gonna keep doing it and he's gonna do it in these programs that the Lord's bringing in the community you know as long as we just keep giving of ourselves and be willing to surrender ourselves um because that's how the kingdom go grows. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 44:15

It just grows and you may lose people along the way they're not gonna understand but it is it is what it is. It is what it is you have you know and it's not I I gotta keep eye out of it. Right right because this is what the Lord is doing. I'm not doing it just use me whatever you want you know yeah and um I want to stand before him and I want him to say good job yeah you know good job yeah I want to be pleasing to him that's right because I've been pleasing to myself for so many years.

SPEAKER_02 44:46

Right yeah I think he's gonna say well done Sean I pray he does thank you for joining me today for having me and thank you for all your time yes it's been great I loved it thanks for the we almost finished our coffee but thank you guys for joining us today on Boom Roasted I hope you watch this episode and all the episodes whether it's on YouTube, Facebook or if you like the Audible versions you can catch it on Prime or Spotify or all the other audible platforms. So you guys have an amazing day and I hope you have a great cup of coffee