90 Day Fiance S12 E5 Something Old, Something New

Rajit sits on Brandy's tailgate and we're supposed to believe this is an act of dominance.

Ashia and her mom Juliette travel to Nigeria.

Catie and Josh move into their loud concrete bunker with a used toy that Josh never asked for.

Edward joins the military I MEAN is welcomed warmly into Marissa totally laid back life.

Meto is mean and scary and Debby thinks she's getting a ring.

What am I reading?

In Romance: Beyond Repair by Charlotte Stein

In General fiction: Ulysses by James Joyce (It's a goal read of the summer and it's not going well!)

In mystery/thriller: The Only One Left by Riley Sager.

Also: my new romance novella is out. You can read it! 

For more happily ever afters, join me on Storygraph!

Thanks for listening and please click 5 stars on your listening platform.

Drop me a message at authorabbyknox@gmail.com

Want to know more about me? Visit my website at www.authorabbyknox.com

Follow me on IG at https://www.instagram.com/author_abby_knox/

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:02

The 90 Day Book Club contains about language and is meant for entertainment purposes only. Hello everybody, I'm back again. You are listening to Nightmare Book Club with Jen. If you are new here and have no idea what you just tumbled into on top, I'm a reader, I'm a writer of reality, TV jumpie. I write under the romance pen name, Abby Cox, and the rest of my time. I spend it with my husband and our two kids and our two catch children. About once a week or so. I have an extra little segment called Books of the Corner where I talk about what I'm reading and what I'm currently writing. There will be links in the show notes to learn more about that. Today I am recapping 90-day fiance. Season 12, episode 5. Something old, something new. No Shay and Annabelle today, unfortunately. So I'm gonna start with Mallory and Rosh. So Brandon arrives to pick up his pet camera, and as you know, Rashid is not happy about Mallory still being friends with this man. I'll give Brandon his do. He shakes Rashid's hand, says it's the man of the hour. Nice to meet you. He has kind of a Boomhauer sounding kind of voice, if you've ever watched King of the Hill. Boomhauer's got this strange voice that it's hard to understand. And um, it sort of reminds me of that. Rosh tells producers in his shared talking head with Mallory that people don't stay friends with their exes in Turkey. Mallory's just hoping he'll get over it, and maybe they'll end up being good friends one day. I would like to say one thing here. Uh in America, it's not that common to stay friends with your ex or in Mallory's case, someone that you had strictly dickly with either. Um, so this does make it awkward, I think. Especially if it's a person who's around all the time. So I have to maybe take Raj's side a little bit with this, even though I don't really like how he's handling it. I don't really like how Mallory's handling it either. Um, but he says in his talking head, fuck Brandy. I love it that he calls Brandon Brandy, because it's maybe hard for him to say Brandon, but I I'm gonna call I'm gonna call that dude Brandy because I'm sure he hates it. In general, I think everyone needs to calm down here. But Brandon is polite enough at first. He says, We're gonna give you an official Alabama welcome, so make sure you're hydrated. They interview Brandon um in the moment. He says, Rosh is gonna have to man up and deal with the issue because it's disrespectful, and one thing I don't deal with is disrespect. Alright, just give this man his stupid dog camera and let him go. Um, so later, this is day one. They haven't even slept one night in their house together in Alabama yet. They're getting ready for bed. Mallory asks Rosh how he's feeling about everything. He says, mixed. The dogs, the four dogs, jump up on the bed. He says, Tavister, I'm with my wife, leave me alone. I will say, this guy's good with the dogs. Rosh. He's shouting at them, kids, leave me alone for a minute. He gets them and herds them out the door, and they listen pretty good. Uh well, Mickey or Minnie, I don't know which, he has to pull up off the bed, put out the door, and then he has to run like crazy to shut the door, and it's pretty cute, actually. I think we've all been there. We want some alone time in the bedroom. We have to kick the animals out. As far as I can tell, the dogs are not scratching and fussing at the door to get back in there. So I do think they're pretty well socialized. I think it's just it's probably a good thing in this case that they're all sort of in a pack. So they're like, well, I guess can't go in there, so we're gonna go do some shenanigans out here. Rosh says, God says animals live outside. Mallory is so funny. She says, How do you know? Back in the day, maybe Jesus rubbed up against a dog, maybe he had a dog sitting on his feet. You never know. He says, They must live outside. She's like, hmm, that's not gonna happen. He says, We will see. Yeah, we will see, Rosh. I think the dogs are gonna win this one because uh there's no way you're leaving four dogs outside in America all night long. Maybe in the country. Honestly, though, my parents are the same way, especially my mom, because she was raised on a farm with 10 kids. Their dog was outside. I never understood it when she talked about it. But here, for the most part in America, animals are our children and our siblings, and that's that. And it's okay. And they also say that children who grow up with animals in the house are less prone to illness and allergies. I don't know if that's true. Rosh has a moment alone with Mallory, tells her, When I saw Brandy, my hair going like to stand up. He's basically saying his head is exploding. Mallory's like, I don't want to talk about this right now. I'm tired. And he's trying to explain to her, This is my house, your house. He can't call you. She's like, Well, just take a deep breath. He's trying to tell her he wants the men to call him because he's the husband. And tomorrow he says he's gonna speak with Brandy and put my line in the sand with Brandy.

SPEAKER_01 6:36

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00 6:37

Okay. You're not the husband yet. In her talking head, Mallory says, Brandon played a big part in being there for me when I was in the hospital. He told my family I was in an accident. I really hope Rosh can adapt to that. Um, so the next morning they go downtown Athens, TDT downtown Athens to get coffee. Uh, they go into the mercantile. Okay, I love an old-fashioned general store mercantile in a small town. It's definitely a thing in the South where they have gifts, knickknacks, pastries, candy, coffee, and maybe even serve lunch, maybe some sandwiches. You can also get some local jams and jellies that are really good. See, these places might look all the same, but they also a lot of the time have space for local vendors, local artisans. So, this is one of the reasons why I would get a lot of just little Christmas gifts for people there. Uh, I just I really like these places. Oh, and they've got an old-fashioned candy station in there where you pay by the pound. Okay. They have these bushel baskets lined up, and you just like scoop out the candy you want into little bags, and you put it on the scale, and you get your sticker. I'm such a sucker for that. These little bushels of candy when we go to the mountains because they have the old fashioned candy. Listen, there is nothing that a root beer barrel can't cure. Peanut butter bars, come on. Chicka sticks? My gosh. You don't know what you're missing if you don't know what I'm talking about. But these two, Rosh Mallory, order caramel cappuccinos, but he does not want so much sugar. Oh boy, get used to it. Learn how to order your coffee. My god, learn how to order your tea. Has anyone told him about tea? You can't go to a restaurant and just say tea in the south. You have to specify you want hot tea and with lemon, perhaps, and then they won't put sugar in it. If you do want cold, if you want iced tea, you have to say iced tea, no sugar. Because if you just say you want tea, they're gonna bring you sweet tea. If you say you want iced tea, they're gonna bring you sweet tea. Most everything they're gonna do, they're gonna bring you sweet tea, and you have to be very specific. You have to look that server in the eye and let them know that you are not from around here, and this is what you want. I've lived in the south for many, many years now, and I I still have Bojango still gets my order wrong every single time. It's always sweet tea. Fuck it. What are you gonna do? He sees a taxidermied deer, elk, white. I I don't know what white animal this is on the wall. I feel stupid. But he says, When when I saw an animal uh on the wall, I am shocked and sad. She explains to him, Oh, good hunters, they use the meat and they eat it. He says, In Turkey, if they hunt, they eat everything. Eyes, tongue, everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We know. Anyways, it's raining outside at the cafe, but they sit outside anyway, which I I'm down with that. I'm down with that. Rosh says, I like the people here, but I don't see any redneck people. Mallory says, Well, you'll meet some tonight. There will be some people there who have said not nice things. And here I like her for preparing him, and it's a really painful conversation, and I'm here. There's other things that these two need to discuss that are very important that they haven't discussed yet. But here I am really proud of her for getting into this painful subject. But she says, There will be some people there who have said some not nice things. She says, I love and respect you, and I told Michaela to uninvite these people. But I guess Michaela, the one who picked him up from the airport, is having this party and she invited some assholes anyway for some reason. Rosh says, What did they say? She says they they say bad things because you come from a Muslim country. Another thing they had said, they flat out called you a terrorist. In his talking head, he says, All religions have bad people. Well, Mallory's talking about this, she's crying, and she says, It sincerely pisses me off when people are ignorant about where you come from. When your family's so beautiful and they loved me, even before I met them, they were so lovely to me and it really hurts. But people like that that think like that are not my friends. Okay, here's where I have a little bit of a sticking point. Did you not say in an earlier episode that you do have some friends who are really super down with the deportations? Why are those people still your friends? But she says, I would never associate with people like that who call Rosh a terrorist. Well, I'm I hope not. That feels like the bare minimum. She says, the last thing I'm gonna do is tolerate an ignorant motherfucker saying something to my husband. I will punch a motherfucker in the face. Okay. Okay. I mean, I hope so. I hope so. Although, Mallory, don't go to jail while your boo is not in possession of a green card yet. Better yet, don't go to jail until your husband is fully naturalized citizen. That's the that's all I gotta say. He's so sweet. When she's crying, he's reaching over and wiping her tears. And I really he oh, I've said it before. The way he looks at her, he's wiping her tears. He, this man loves her. He loves her. I have no question in my mind. On the way to the party, he's so freaking adorable. He sees cows and he shouts through the window, Mue! I feel so good now that I saw a cow. Uh so they pull up at Michaela's house. It's a white trash bash. They have a sign, they have people dressed in bib overalls and no shirt. They've got the red, white, and blue ball caps. They've got shit kickers on. Rosh says, in the name of God, the most gracious, the most merciful. Uh, there's a little chicken area called the Fluffy Butt Hut. I just have to point out. I saw the sign real quick. It made me laugh. This is a campy version of a redneck party. This is not real down dirty rednecks. This is um, I guess cosplay, campy version, maybe a little bit, this is a little bit Halloween-y. These people are dressing up, dressing apart. So there's this friend called Rin, the one wearing the car heart, bib overalls and no shirts. Uh, he says, we try to look like we are epitomized version of rednecks. Southern people that people think of when they think of Alabama to initiate him into Southern living. Okay, this man is not a redneck. He said epitomized. They got black friends there. This is not a redneck party. They give him a costume to change into. It's an American flag bandana with a mullet and a t-shirt. It says, Ain't nothing illegal if you don't get caught. Uh, she puts her hair into a beer can curler, puts on some leopard print leggings. Somebody calls him Macho Man Savage, and they do a side-by-side. I mean, he looks like a very young, very hot macho man savage, I guess. He shotguns a beer with these guys, and it's hilarious, but he does not like it. I don't like shotgun and a beer either. Sorry if you just heard my alarm there. Uh Brandy shows up and he's just watching the party with this weird outsider intensity for some reason. Uh so the party, the kids at the party they try a drink, I guess some alcohol that Rosh brought along. And they try it. It's like salty and sweet, like milk and sugar, he says. I don't know. They try it. They says it tastes too much like licorice to me. I don't know what this drink is. Brandy hands him a gym beam because he thinks he's doing something macho, I guess. He tastes it and says, It tastes like normal whiskey. Yeah, it's just very basic. He tells Mallory, I need to go speak with your friend Brandy. So they go off to Brandon's truck. He says, I need to speak with you. Brandon does not take off his sunglasses. So while they're talking, Rosh hops up on the tailgate, and Brandon is immediately annoyed. Doing that is disrespectful, he says. I don't know. I feel like that's bullshit. In his talking head, Brandy says that he feels like him hopping up on the tailgate is a sign of dominance. He says, But I'm not the person. I'll choose violence any day. This feels crazy. Everybody needs to calm down. But I guess we'll see what happens next time. Um, moving on to Aisha and Maxwell. Aisha's still packing. Her friend Brianna comes over to take them to the airport. She says, Are you really thinking you're gonna come back from Nigeria, a married lady? Aisha says, I told them I wanted to discuss things face to face and talk things through. Brianna in her talking head is pretty cute. She's like, now hold on, girl. You're gonna go where to do what? With who? With someone you don't even know. Yeah, agreed. She says, I hope she can get the visa so they can get more time to spend together. So she doesn't feel like she's having to make a rush decision to do something she wasn't planning to do. She asks Aisha, is this denial, the visa denial, gonna follow you down the road? Aisha's like, I don't know. Brianna says, What's the real reason they denied you? Aisha says, fraud. Brianna says, How do you overcome fraud? This is an excellent question, Brianna. Aisha says in her talking head, this is definitely not the energy I need right now. I don't need all this negativity in my head. Now, if the government knows something I don't know, I'm gonna get to the bottom of it. And it better not be fraud. Brianna's very sweet with Aja's mom. She says, Miss Juliet, they got you flying all the way to Africa. She's just a ball of cute energy, this friend. With her tortoiseshell, chunky frames and her bob and her monogram, fleece jacket. I do think that she's a good energy type of person. So Brianna asks her, What point do you say I'm tired of all this? She means like the paperwork, the waiting, the bureaucracy, the uncertainty, I guess. Aisha says, For me, there is no calling it quits. Juliet says, if you love a person that's worth the wait, I would wait on him. And Juliette's talking and she says, Aisha and I have a very good relationship. I have to go on this trip. You think I'm gonna let my baby go off to Africa and maybe get married? I'm just praying that everything works out for the best. So they park the car at the airport, and the two younger girls get out, and Juliet's so funny, she's like, they done gone and left me. Oh, in the airport, they have so much luggage. Bianna Brianna's very sweet going in, helping Juliet with her luggage. I have no idea how many bags are Ace's and how many are Juliet's. Does seem like a lot for 10 days. Just saying. Ace says, at the end of the day, I'm standing on God. My favorite Bible verse is Jeremiah 29, 11. For I know the thoughts I have towards you, says the Lord. Thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you an expected end. She says, He's never failed me before, and he's not gonna fail me again. So wait, again? Was that a slip of the tongue? When did he fail you? Does she mean the denial? Was that God or was that the devil sneaking in? Which is it? So she has Juliet in a wheelchair and she wheels her into the elevator singing, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, he will answer prayer. And Juliet's going, Jesus, give me some food to eat. I need some food in my stomach. This little old lady is wonderful. I can't wait. I can't wait for her commentary on literally everything that's about to happen. And she says, My mother's fantastic, but she feels there's only one way to do something. Otherwise, she's gonna complain about it. Okay. Have you looked in a mirror lately? Also feed that little lady. So they get settled on the plane. Juliet is leaning already on the wall next to the window. She's they come bring me a snack, wake me up. Uh finally, we get a film crew with Maxwell. He lives in Aqua, Aqua, Nigeria. Now, I'm not sure if this footage in this house is a very nice-looking house. If this is an Airbnb that she rented, or if this is where he lives with his family, it's not clear to me yet. Maxwell says the last time she saw me, she said, Baby, why do you look so skinny? Okay. She says, Aisha can be pushy. He says, even when I fall asleep, she takes her camera and tries to capture the bald spots on my head. What? So his mom says, Let Aisha be the person who will not trouble you. Oh, she's troubling already, believe me. He has these two bouquets of flowers, and they are beautiful, and they are wrapped beautifully. As I recall from the era of Angela and Michael, Nigerians know what they're doing. The professionals know what they're doing with a nice bouquet of flowers. It's really pretty. Maxwell says Asia reserves her complaints about him for when she goes back to the US. He says sometimes it's a little bit taxing. Like she's pushing him to good gym memberships, going to the spa, doing the chemical peels, doing this, doing that. Oh man, when they show that air traffic control tower, I am having PTSD from Angela because we have seen this airport. So many times. We know this airport all too well, don't we? He says it's going to take time and there's no guarantee. Nothing is guaranteed. So he seems a little bit more realistic about the situation than she does. So they finally see each other at the airport and she says, Sweetie! And she runs at him and jumps up on him. He hugs her. He says, You look so fine. I missed you. I want to eat you. Okay. Also, he's very sweet with Juliet. He says, You are so beautiful. He hands her the flowers. She says, Yes, I am. Oh, Ace is already talking about his appearance, saying the chemical bill did good. Skin-wise, we're doing better. I feel like we got a good program going. We're gonna get the results we want. Uh she sounds like a life coach or an or an aesthetician dealing with a client. Mom's hungry again. That's really the only thing I care about right now. Feed that feed that lady. Let's move on to Katie and Josh. So these two are getting ready to move into the new apartment. Katie's asking Josh to thoroughly check under the beds, check all the drawers, make sure they didn't leave anything. Katie has never seen this apartment, so Josh is pretty anxious about what it's going to be like. And he's apparently already signed a 12-month lease with her. Katie hasn't seen it, and she says, Well, she took the virtual tour, or maybe she did, maybe she didn't. She says, My obsessive thoughts have different categories, but some are like more ex existential and some are more circumstantial. She says, one time I melted a Brita filter on the stove when I was drunk and forgot about it. And now I worry about the stove every time before I leave the house. I've said it before, and I'm gonna say it again. This is a drinking problem. The these OCD thoughts are something you can manage, but better yet, stop drinking. She's also very immature. They get into the car and she's like, I have to like fart forever. And so she does this, like I mean, you can't hear it, but I can just imagine with the way she drinks that it's gonna be absolutely rank smelling in that car. And Josh says, I'm going back to the UK right away. Mm-hmm. You should. Uh so they're driving to the apartment, and the bridges are freaking him out. She says that she texted Danica to ask if she had made out with anyone last night. She said no. She sort of laughs it off, and Josh gets that faraway look in his eyes. She says, It's kind of funny. Danica said I asked everyone to kiss them on lips before leaving, and they all said no. She says, I thought you were there. He says, No, I wasn't there. He says, I feel frustrated when I feel like I'm being taken for a ride. And she's diminishing what she does and not taking responsibility for it. Katie's so excited in the car ride, she starts howling and screaming uh out of nowhere, and he asks her to take it down a notch. So it looks like a pretty big apartment compared to what I was expecting. But the first thing you see is concrete. She's like, Don't worry, I have a bunch of rugs. But it is giving bomb shelter vibes, she says. Um, yeah, I don't like it. Already do not like. Um, but there's an open kitchen, which is what they wanted. Apparently, Josh said he was worried it would be falling apart. She says, Why do you think it was so low of me? He says, Okay, fair. Uh, maybe because you didn't have a lease signs until the night before you picked them up. So they're very excited to find the laundry stack in the closet, the washer dryer, top and bottom. She says, My biggest fear is being washed till I die. Like hiding in a washer and then someone turning it on, and then her like getting agitated to death in the washing machine. That's your biggest fear. And then she climbs up in this floor to ceiling window. She's like, Do you think people will be able to see me naked? Yeah, it's a window. It's a window. There we'll see you. So they hired movers because she didn't want Josh to have to move stuff while jet-legged. Good. That's good. And she says, but also my stuff is gnarly from being in storage for three years. Mm-hmm. So the stained twin mattress arrives. So he's confused. Josh is confused because in the UK they call these singles. In the US, they call them twins. So he really didn't know what he was expecting. But he calls it a biohazard and it smells. My god. I know I I I harp on people just to go to IKEA, but just go to IKEA. Go to freaking Walmart. Who cares? You need something that's it doesn't smell. This is atrocious. Why would you make somebody sleep on that? Oh as she's unpacking, she finds her sex toy vibrating, strapless strap on dillo. I I don't understand this, but anyways. Uh and their sharp talking heads. Do you want to see the strap on? He says, no. Do you want to know how it works? No. Look, it hooks inside me, and this goes up your butt. I mean, the upper butt part was bleeped out. Who do you think you are talking to? This man doesn't want any part of that. She says, Are you down? He says, no. No. She sort of laughs, says, every time I use it, it kind of falls out. Here's a thought. Well, then it's not a very good toy, is it? Also, you've been using it. Have you been using this with other people? Ugh. What do you mean every time? He says, so it's pre-used. She sort of gets a sheepish look on her face and doesn't really answer, and he sort of laughs it off. And I am so grossed out, I want to crawl under my bed right now. So later they're in bed, and she says, Is this what you thought our first night in our first apartment would be like? He says, There are elements. There's a roof and electricity and water. Josh in his talking head says, I had in my mind the idea of settling down in an apartment. He says, but last night it was still on my mind that I've made all these changes and left behind friends and loved ones. And now I need her to prove that my trust in her is well placed. They're laying in bed. One of us says, one of them says, What is that beeping sound? Josh says, Well, uh uh, you're not gonna like the answer to this. Whenever the garage door for the building is operated, it beeps and they can hear it in their apartment. This is terrible. Let's move on to Edward and Marissa. He's never ridden in a BMW before, and he's also not used to wearing a seatbelt. So I kind of wish that Marissa would remember that when later on she gets frustrated with everything else he's not used to or does not know about. So they pull into the neighborhood and he says, the houses are gorgeous. He likes the spaced-out look and says it's not like the Dominican. He says, Here, do they have rules about music? She's like, You mean past a certain hour? Well, first of all, he sort of finishes her thought, like, oh, so nobody pulls out a freaking speaker outside their house and prrr prr prrr prrr. I can't make the noise. No, she says, okay. He says, Everyone is mucho blanco here. Yes. He says, it looks like the home alone house. It absolutely does. This cannot be the first time someone said it looked like the home alone house because it definitely does. Two stories, huge, red brick, black shutters in that neo-colonial, symmetrical way. Once again, these people walk into the front door of a house that has an attached garage. I know, I know it's for the camera. You have a connected garage, so you can make it easier on yourself to carry in luggage, carry in groceries, carrying all those bags. I'm overthinking it. I know it's for the camera to walk in the front door. Uh, first things first, she tells him you gotta take off your shoes. He says, why? She says, because we don't wear shoes in the house. Your shoes have been all over all over the place. The airports, they're filthy. You don't want track dirt all all all over a clean house. I mean, listen, I have the same rule. We are a shoes off house too. I it makes it a lot easier to clean up. I mean, I know she's not cleaning her own house. I know she's got housekeepers, maybe plural for that, but yeah, it keeps her house a lot cleaner. Just leave your shoes by the door. I agree with her on this point, but I mean, I also don't agree with her tone about it. Uh and Edward sort of addresses this in his talking hat. He says, She's telling me rules immediately. Okay, so it's starting now. Mm-hmm. It is starting. Uh, up in the bedroom, she shows him the primary uh bedroom and the his and hers closets. She is basically telling him he can have two Raz in the closet, and all the rest is hers. I'm gonna say something to you, Marissa. I know you're not listening, but the same thing I said to Tim of Tim and Paola. This man, you knew this man was coming. Why don't you make space for him? Standalone wardrobes also exist in your room. Your house is huge. You have room for wardrobes if you need all the closet space. Even better, a shiff a robe, because I like the word shiff a robe and we don't say it enough. But honestly, who are these people who say they love a person enough to spend all this money and do all this paperwork and deal with the federal government, but they don't feel like they can give them a full closet to themselves? It is not cute, it is selfish. These people are not guests, they are going to be your spouse. And then on top of that, the bathroom thing. The ensuite bathroom is a double sink, and she says, This is a privilege. I'm letting you use this bathroom because I didn't let my ex-husband use this bathroom. He had to use the guest bathroom with the kids. But she says, Don't make a mess. Also, there are two showers in there, which is nice. He says, Why not use the same shower? She says, Because it's my alone time. She says, in the Dominican, he was trying to share the shower with her, and she always said no. She says there's always going to be someone who's not under the hot water, and that's never going to be me. So that's a big strike against sharing a shower. She says, Two, have you ever had sex in a shower? It's the worst sex in the world, and everybody knows it. Just agree with me. He says, Happy wife, happy life. If you're making a pro con list, you know, one thing in the pro column is a shower is right there for you to clean up afterwards, and they don't need the sex towel. So, anyway, she sits down on the bed for the big reveal of the freshly circumcised penis in his talking head. Edward says, The first time we had sex, she was looking at my penis and says, Oh, it's different. And they were like in the moment. And he says, But now I'm ready to be an American. Oh my god. So she this was not her directly telling him to do it. But she never bothered to tell him, Yeah, it's like 50-50. Circumcised versus not circumcised in the US. It's really not that big a deal either way. It is crazy. He 100% did this for her preference, and she planted the seed, so now we know. So he does a drum roll as he's uh disrobing, and she says, Oh my god, it's actually really nice. He says, Are you happy? She says, I'm very happy. I feel so bad for Edward. He says it was painful, and there was a lot of blood. It was horrible for a little bit. He doesn't know how to work her lamps on the bedside tables, and she has to point it out, and I hate it. She says, You don't know how to turn a lamp off? I'll have to teach you. I don't like how she underlines the things he doesn't know how to do or isn't familiar with. Anyway, of course she's a lights off girl. He feels very chaste in her perfect bed and her perfect silky modest pajamas. Maybe she's keeping modest because her kids are on the show too, but I don't know. Um, the next morning, he looks scared of that protein shake she gives him. Please give this man some carbs. He has a great laugh. And I just I really like his face. I really like his smile. And I want to give him some toast. I want to tell Marissa to keep her eating disorder to herself. He says, the first night, how was it? She says, with your new penis, for me it felt the same, if not better. He says, sex is always good with you. That's a cornerstone of our relationship, she says. At least we got the sex. Oh boy. Okay, well, I'm glad that I'm glad that worked out. I hope it was worth it. She takes out pre-packaged hard-boiled eggs from the fridge for breakfast, and he's like, What the fuck is that? He says, You're American's just so weird, to be honest with you. I've never seen pre-packaged eggs. I refuse to believe people buy those, but apparently Marissa buys the pre-packaged hard-boiled eggs. He says it's cold, it's supposed to be hot. Okay, so I'm gonna tell you how to make perfect hard-boiled eggs, and it is so easy. Even Marissa could do it. Leave your eggs out to get to room temperature. Okay. And then you put your eggs in a saucepan, cover them with cold water, leave about an inch of water from the top of the eggs. Bring the water to a boil over medium heat. You don't want them jumping around too much because they'll crack. Once it's boiled, remove from the heat, cover it, cover it. That's very important. Let it sit for twelve minutes. And then you run those eggs under cold water. You put the eggs one by one, get a little tongs, they're gonna be hot. Put it in a colander, run cold water to stop them from cooking. And then you tap the bottom and the top of the eggs on the counter or a board or whatever, and then gently roll it with the palm of your hand to crack the shell. And then you peel it. I like to peel it under running water, it makes it come off really nice. It is so freaking easy. You do not need to go buy these stupid pre-packaged hardboiled eggs. And yes, I'm judging. I'm judging. Okay, I will say this pre-packaged hard boiled eggs. Possibly for people with a lack of abilities. Somebody with disabilities might need that, and that's legit. Marissa, you don't need to. You can make these or let Edward make it. I bet he makes a great hardware egg. The kids, the kids can do this. Your kids seem very competent. They can do this. And then he passes by the counter and says, You have chocolate here? She's like, eh- not for breakfast. Like she's talking to a child and I hate it. Let the man have some chocolate. For heaven's sake. So Edward discovers the touch faucet. I love his laugh so much, and I can really see why why she lo I do think she loves him. I just don't think she knows what to do with him outside of vacation mode. He says, I think this is something for rich people. It is. I don't really know anybody with that either. Don't worry, we don't have that everywhere in the US. He says for hot water, we put water on the stove. So when whenever they're vacationing together, she doesn't understand why he's in the shower for so long. He's like, because I'm under the hot water. I'm enjoying the hot shower, baby. And now she's showing him how to make the bed. And I hate it so much. She's like, it's not that difficult. This lady has to pull the sheets tight and tuck them in. Mm-hmm. You know she's got a tight S bed. In her talking head, she says, I admit I'm a crow I'm a control freak. I like things the way I like them. We know. Okay, but once again, you've chosen to share your bed, your bedroom, your kitchen, your life, your children with this man. I like a nice made bed too, but the way she freaks out when he jumps on the made bed. Edward says, I feel like I'm in the military right now. I'm more relaxed when she visits me in the DR. Now she's like the president and I'm like secretary. She's not the same woman I want to be on vacation. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So she offers to take him for a walk to show him the neighborhood. This is not a nice leisure, leisurely stroll to meet the neighbors and see the neighborhood and show where more things are. This is a severe power walk. And by the way, she has to ask him if his socks are clean. It is very condescending. I hate it. They're walking, they're walking, they're walking. She's like, come on, keep up, come on, keep up, come on, keep up. And he's like jogging to keep up with her walking. She sounds like she's talking to a dog who has to stop and sniff the fire hydrant. So here they're having a little chat about the kids, and we learn that they the kids met him before she brought them to the DR before, which I don't think we knew that. So what they take a little break from their walk because you you can't have this kind of serious conversation when she's power walking. It's crazy. Um, but they're talking about his potential relationship with the kids. Um she's talking about how the boys don't want anyone to replace their dad. But she understands that Edward wants to be a father figure because he's not going to be having children with her because she is past the age of having kids and she doesn't want to have any more babies. And but she says, things like that, having a relationship with the kids is going to take time. He says at the beginning of the relationship, we put everything on the table. The only problem is she has two kids and I don't have any. I love kids, but I need needed to make a decision what's better for me. Having love of my life or moving forward with someone else who doesn't want more kids. Marissa says she feels guilty about it, but the next best thing is to share Derek and Cole with you. That's important to me. And she says the conversation with Michael is critical to the family. She tells him not to be confrontational because it's not gonna end well. She says, ultimately, the success of the family will be based on Michael and Edward's ability to get along. So later, Michael comes over to drop the kids off after football camp and he meets Edward for the first time. They shake hands. Marissa makes small talk for a minute. How are the kids? He says, Oh, normal pain in the ass. Um, he's already trying to um have this big dick energy. Michael is. He's like saying in the pictures of Edward and Marissa, he thought Edward is saying was the same height as Marissa. So he's trying to posture like, oh, short guy here. Um, in his talking head, Edward says he was really happy to see the boys again after having met them in the DR. He says his interaction with Michael felt weird at first. He says, I thought you were more little. Like, what does that mean? Uh he's really cute bouncing with him on the trampoline, but it's still awkward because Marissa and Michael are just watching him. They both look like a little bit of party poopers to me. I don't know. Edward seems like fun, and these two seem like they're I don't know. Like he says, in the military. So the kids go upstairs and she leaves Edward and Michael alone. So Edward just gets to handle this all himself. Michael asks him, How's going at the house? Edward says, Pretty well so far. Michael gets into it. He says, I may not have been the best husband, but I try to be the best ex-husband. When you're with them every day, there will be things that irritate you. If you guys are having a thing and the kids feel it, meaning a disagreement, he says, I'm a fighter and I'm gonna go to bat for the mother of my kids. So he's saying he's gonna take Marissa's side if there's a disagreement. Okay. He says, if you're arguing, I will say this once and one time only. If you get pissed and throw something off the table or yell, I will I won't knock, I will kick down the door, and I will literally bite someone's face off for that. He's meaning like scaring his kids. Edward is not freaked out by this posturing at all. Um Edward says, We want the same thing. He says, I can be aggressive, but not with women. I don't think he'd be aggressive with kids either. Michael says it's gonna be tough. Two kids and a wife. His parents are wealthy. For me, I always felt like I wasn't good enough. Her father would make comments. I wasn't wealthy at the time, and I'm not now, but I was just starting my business. They made me feel really low. They can make you feel really small. Edward says, Well, I come from nothing, but I am concerned about how they look at me. Michael says, Who cares? The only thing that matters is how she looks at you, so who gives a fuck? Edward says later in his talking ed, he tried to intimidate me, but also give me advice. Because they are rich, versus parents, they can make you feel like you're nothing. But the difference between me and Michael is I know who I am. He says, I appreciate the advice, but I don't need it. Okay, so this makes me like Edward even more. And I can finally see here, he is actually, I think, good husband material. Moving on to Debbie and Mito. Mito has his hang dog face on. So they go to this cafe to have a quick conversation and a bite to eat to discuss what happened in the moving truck the day before. Debbie says, I am not his freaking paparazzi. She tells him over coffee. She says, You can't get mad when I make a mistake. He says, I'm not angry from that. I'm angry that she threw your phone in my face. She says, I didn't. He says, No, no, you did do that. She says, I threw it on your lap. He says, You didn't see yourself when you did that. He says, if that happened with me in Egypt, I would leave it immediately. The way he sort of like tilts his head and widens his eyes at her, like it's like he's talking to a stubborn teenager. So I don't know what to believe about who threw the phone at who and how. He says, What's the problem? She says, Sometimes I don't feel like doing a photo or a video. I want this to be about you and me. And then he says, When the embassy asks you about the relationship, if we are not taking pictures and videos, what do you have to prove to them? Answer me. This guy she says, I just wanted to get the truck back. I didn't feel like taking a video. So he says, I think he's saying he's getting angry again, so it's enough talk for now. In his talking head, she Mito says she just said she was tired, so she didn't apologize. He says, The woman in Egypt and in the Quran, women should respect the man so much. She wasn't with a man for 20 years, and I think she needs to learn. Debbie says, You have a temper, and so do I. Mito says, A temper from what? If you have a temper for me, it's very easy. I'll just pop for tomorrow a ticket and leave. He's saying he's gonna just get a ticket and leave in the next day. Debbie says that can't be the answer for everything. Mito just declares this argument over. He says, This is the last time we talk about anything that makes me angry. Debbie says in her talking head. When he throws the gauntlet down, how do I argue with that? It's a cop-out and it's an easy way to get your way. Yeah, and he's gonna do that again. Oh, this is definitely a guy who's used to getting his way. Debbie says, I don't want to be your fan. I want to be your wife. He says, if you're my fan, what is the problem? She's saying, I'm not saying there is a problem. He says, To be my big fan, my best partner, you should be supportive. She says, I am. I just want to make sure we don't get lost in all of it. He says, You should be happy. I have this dream of being an actor. His face is so scary right now. And I just want to tell her to get away from him. Debbie says in her talking head, this is the default conversation. I have a dream too of being happily married. That's all I want. So she says to Meito, can I ask you for something? And he says, No. But then you realize he's joking. Or is he? He says, Yeah, sure. She says, I want my ring. He says, soon. Sorry, this man's not gonna give you a ring. I'm calling it right now. That's the show, everyone. Next time I'll be recovering episode six. If you like the show, please share it. Give it five stars on Apple and Spotify or whatever, wherever it is you listen. Check out my show notes for important links to what I'm reading, what I'm writing. Tell your friends. I'll see you soon with a recap of episode six. In the meantime, please take care of yourself. You matter. I appreciate each and every one of you who listens. I will talk to you next time.