The Guilt Will Eat You Up

We use Eastenders hot topics to chat about our real worlds and have a good gossip!

Each week Abi and Ava use Eastenders storylines to talk about whats going on in their own and the wider world. 

This week they’re talking; Guilt will always catch you up (or give Ravi Psychosis)

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*doof doof*

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Hi, I'm Ava. And I'm Abby. And you're listening to End is Afters.

SPEAKER_00 0:03

Where we use East Enders hot topics to talk about our real worlds.

SPEAKER_01 0:07

And have a good gossip.

SPEAKER_00 0:09

Welcome to the afters. Welcome to the afters. Abby, what's your storyline, babes? My storyline this week is guilt will always catch up with you. As we are seeing with Ravi this week. What a madness.

SPEAKER_01 0:25

Oh my god. What a madness. I cried.

SPEAKER_00 0:29

I know you did cry, did you? I was in tears. You did. You surpassed the kitchen roll.

SPEAKER_01 0:32

You surpassed the kitchen roll, ran out of toilet paper. You needed the kitchen roll.

SPEAKER_00 0:37

And I just think he's a really good example. First of all, he is a good example of mental health, men's mental health, how it can really affect you, but also how guilt will always catch up with you. And it might manifest the way it is with Ravi, but it will manifest.

SPEAKER_01 0:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 0:53

I really do believe that.

SPEAKER_01 0:54

Yeah. If you'll come if you are that kind of person, it will creep and creep. And it comes out in life.

SPEAKER_00 1:02

In all different ways, but this is one of them.

SPEAKER_01 1:04

Yeah, because he's done a lot of bad things, that man. And then after punching his own son, I think that will just be a good thing.

SPEAKER_00 1:10

That's the tip of the iceberg. Yeah, yeah. That is the tip of the iceberg thing. But do you know what? He's actually quite lucky. If you think about the grand scheme of things, I actually kind of think he's kind of lucky that it's caught up with him in this way. Because you know, some people I think like bury it in them and they get ill or it comes out in this way. Also, this will give him a chance to have a redemption arc in life and change his life.

SPEAKER_01 1:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:35

His guilt has caught up with him because he has a conscience. Yes. Where some people don't have conscience. Yeah. So he's actually lucky that he cares enough to be eaten up by his guilt.

SPEAKER_01 1:45

Because before we didn't, it looked like he didn't have a conscience because he was just doing loads of bad stuff and then not feeling bad about it. But punching in the son, which makes me laugh every time.

SPEAKER_00 1:55

I know, punching your son. Really pushed him over the edge. I know. When I deeped it when we was watching the episode on it, and Nugget was obviously got what's it called again? Um epilepsy. Epilepsy. Now imagine you're giving your son a lifelong. Is it class? I would presume it'd be classed as a disability. Or at least an illness, a lifelong illness. Yeah. That can mess him up. Especially obviously that that's what they've done is like they brought in the fact that now he got bullied because he had a he had a fit and people videoed it. So he's more fault there. He's just done so many things, and I think it's had obviously had that knock-on effect, and he's obviously probably always told himself that he's doing that these things to protect his family, but it's actually ended up coming back around and biting his family in the arse, and that's what he's like because he keeps saying, like, it's my job to protect, it's my job to protect, and now he's lost it all because he's beaten up his son, literally, because he smacked nuggets.

SPEAKER_01 2:54

That was a I was really shocked by that episode.

SPEAKER_00 2:57

He's had some amazing episodes, isn't he?

SPEAKER_01 2:59

And he's good on you, Ravi, for the acting in these episodes.

SPEAKER_00 3:03

Yeah, I think we need to honour the fact that he has come really far with his acting. And he's believable. There was not one point in this storyline that I thought you're not given this justice. I thought he'd done it so much justice.

SPEAKER_01 3:17

Yeah, a lot of the time you can be like, oh, it's not giving a little bit more, but you're like well into it because he's really good at it.

SPEAKER_00 3:25

He obviously put the hours in.

SPEAKER_01 3:27

He put the hours in, not just at the gym, but on his tenders.

SPEAKER_00 3:32

Maybe yeah, how does he even find time for the gym to comb his hair and to improve as an actor that much?

SPEAKER_01 3:40

I know. But the guilt thing is true because people do bury it.

SPEAKER_00 3:44

I know. Have you ever had obviously we've all felt guilty, but have you ever had a major thing to live with to feel guilty? Imagine carrying guilt through your life.

SPEAKER_01 3:52

I know, it's hard.

SPEAKER_00 3:54

Must be mental. I am very I know this is gonna sound so arrogant, but I'm gonna say it anyway. I'm quite lucky, there's not been many things in my life because I have throughout my life until maybe the past few years have been a bit of a control freak about everything being a certain way. I haven't really made many huge mistakes. Um, so I don't have I do you know what I've guilt myself about is if I don't like try my best at something, or if I've ever obviously that's not intense guilt, that's like my own internal thing to get me to do more or whatever. But I mean guilt as in how I've affected someone else. I don't have many things at all in my life to ever feel guilty about, and then in this last like year or so, a few things have happened, and I felt real guilt and like and like regret, it's more regret as well. That's a strong one too, yeah. And like it's brought up this whole new like uncomfortability in me. Normally I'm quite good at like really addressing how I feel, blah blah blah blah. But like when I feel it, I'm not oh I don't want to this horrible feeling. So imagine living your life like that, what you're having to suppress, and then look, it's obviously bought boiled up and then exploded and come out in psychosis because he's pushed it down so much it's found another way to come out.

SPEAKER_01 5:10

Yeah, because it does need to be released.

SPEAKER_00 5:12

I think it does that as well with when people get ill. Yeah, because they've suppressed whatever feeling. Sometimes it's not guilt, sometimes it's like something's happened to them and they've suppressed it or shaved.

SPEAKER_01 5:23

Well, just like being really depressed, like makes you really ill, doesn't it?

SPEAKER_00 5:26

Literally physically ill physically ill, yeah, yeah, exactly. But with him, it's come out in like psychosis, essentially.

SPEAKER_01 5:33

Oh, it really has. That's what I mean. It can happen to anyone.

SPEAKER_00 5:37

Oh, for real. But I mean unless you're rabbit, he's a bad man. He is a bad, bad man.

SPEAKER_01 5:42

But with regret, it's difficult because like I think about things I regret not doing or the thing I haven't done, or like not um taking an opportunity, and you're like, fuck what how would my life be different if I did it?

SPEAKER_00 5:57

No, it's hard enough.

SPEAKER_01 5:58

But then you've got to realise that your life sort of pans out the way it's supposed to.

SPEAKER_00 6:01

For sure. I think. I know, but maybe not.

SPEAKER_01 6:04

You're like, you know, like a lot of the times I get to a crossroads, yeah. You know, when you like apply for a job, you you apply for two jobs, you don't hear from either of them, you're like, oh great, and then all of a sudden, the like you get both jobs or something, luckily enough. Yeah, and you're like, which one do I choose now?

SPEAKER_00 6:21

And you think if you chose that one, it would yeah, someone said this to me once. It's like it doesn't life doesn't work like that. It's not like, oh, you choose that road and you go to a completely different place and you choose that road and you go to a different place. Life is just life, and the road is pretty much the same, and like it's not like road to hell. Yeah, we're all on the highway to hell. Um it's not like oh you could be living an alternate life, but I do definitely like but some people's life do, but that's just luck, like it's supposed to be that way, yeah, yeah, exactly. And if it wasn't that opportunity, it would have been another opportunity.

SPEAKER_01 6:54

Yeah, I do think people are just genuinely lucky, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:56

That is just their path in life.

SPEAKER_01 6:58

Some people are like really dull and end up being entertainers, and you're like, how does that work?

SPEAKER_00 7:02

I know it's so interesting, isn't it? How people's life just kind of get that way and get that way. Like some people graft at stuff for years and years, and some people get a really lucky opportunity. I have a friend that um I'm not saying he didn't graft for years and years and years, but I used to act a lot, didn't I? And I I used to go to this acting community, and um you had people there that would be like on their hustle, on the high school, trying to be an actor for years, like showing up every single week. And I had a friend and he did work hard, I'm not taking that away from him at all, but his opportunity came really early, yeah, and he actually randomly off of open casting went along to cast for Skeptors Movie and he got the main part. And he said he went to a class the week before that shifted his mindset, and he walked in and he got the thing, and like he was only I think 21 at the time, and like he had been going, but like a year previous, he was a completely different actor, he wasn't committed, he wasn't this. As soon as he applied himself, it kicked off. But you have people that applied themselves, and like his I'm not saying he didn't want it to get that opportunity, he did, but it just came super super quick. Yeah, and like some people work for like 10 years and apply themselves and just don't get the opportunity.

SPEAKER_01 8:13

I agree.

SPEAKER_00 8:14

The same with me in poetry, actually. I literally obviously I grafted for years with acting, but like with poetry, I wrote a poem, I performed it at my first gig.

SPEAKER_01 8:25

Because you put yourself out there, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:27

I put myself out there, but I didn't work hard. Yes, I did I practised, um I practised a lot for that first gig. I practiced loads because I've never performed a poem in my life, but also it wasn't a gig, it was an open mic, and I literally took it so so seriously that open mic, but it was just my first ever one. I'd only ever written one poem. I think I'd by the time I performed it, I think I'd written one more, but I performed it, and the structure that I didn't even know was when I signed up to do the open mic, was whoever wins the open mic gets a headline slot. I won the headline slot, but I also think again it was luck. I think if I was on another night with different poets, I might not have won it. Not no shade to the other poets of the night, but I just happened to be be the best poem that night. Won it, got a headline slot, got another headline slot of that, got another headline slot. My second performance was a headline performance. Like I'm just a lucky bitch. I'm lucky, I'm so lucky. That is luck. Obviously, it was an amazing poem. Obviously, I write good poetry, obviously. I put work into them performances. I practiced and practiced, you know. I've been sitting you down on the couch while I practice, but I'm lucky.

SPEAKER_01 9:42

Yeah, but I mean, it's a funny one because you do deserve it.

SPEAKER_00 9:47

No, for sure, and that's not to take away this. What I think people get defensive about sometimes. It's not luck, I work like no, I worked hard for it, but like I was lucky.

SPEAKER_01 9:56

Yeah, I know what you mean. It's it's just so weird, isn't it?

SPEAKER_00 10:00

I don't know how we've gone from guilt to that.

SPEAKER_01 10:02

It's guilt to luck. Guilt to luck is all the same, you know. Paths in life, paths in life, left, right, ups, downs. But yeah, but for some women, you know, they're like doing their career and then they get pregnant.

SPEAKER_00 10:16

Yeah, and then it changes everything. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:18

And that's the thing is women have to give up a lot and men continue to do what they want to do.

SPEAKER_00 10:23

Until they get psychosis and jump off a bridge in Woolford.

SPEAKER_01 10:27

Yeah, because the men do like get to carry on doing what they want to do a lot of the time. Not all of the time, you might be a single dad or like be a family man, but like in my primary school there were a lot of like actors and um artists who are couples, a mum and dad, and then it would be like it was always the dad that can go and do his art while the mum it was wasn't taken more seriously as the woman because she was the mum. Do you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 10:52

So bad now. But that is another episode. Yeah, so you're gonna do that. No, no, no, you're right. I just I was gonna go into a rant, but I actually think it deserves its own episode.

SPEAKER_01 11:05

Yeah, I was gonna kick off.

SPEAKER_00 11:07

I am about how as women, like what we contend with in life.

SPEAKER_01 11:11

Yeah, it's mad. It's a whole nother.

SPEAKER_00 11:14

And then Navi's kicking off.

SPEAKER_01 11:16

Do you know what I mean? Leaving Priya to deal with it. Oh, obviously, she wants to because she is She's such an amazing woman. She's an amazing woman, but gosh, you've got to deal with a lot now.

SPEAKER_00 11:24

I know, poor Priya. I really wanted to see a scene though where Suki just went went up there with a handbag!

SPEAKER_01 11:31

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I quit with a handbag and went, get you get your ass down! Yeah, she didn't take a nice I got this. No. She said, get yourself to the hospital now. She was so in denial. Do you want to keep this house that I paid for?

SPEAKER_00 11:44

Yeah, she was so in denial as well that he had mental health problems. I know. She would not address that.

SPEAKER_01 11:49

And Eve's like Eve's great. Yeah, we love Eve.

SPEAKER_00 11:52

I love their dynamic. Yeah, I know. I think there's so many couples like them too, and you think, what do you see in someone so toxic? But actually they level each other out, sort of thing. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:05

Do you know? Those partners that or they're yin and yang.

SPEAKER_00 12:10

But I wonder how they're gonna deal with Vinny now, and Vinny, not Vinny, uh Ravi, now he's in hospital.

SPEAKER_01 12:15

I reckon he's gonna get sectioned.

SPEAKER_00 12:16

Oh, he's gonna be able to get it.

SPEAKER_01 12:17

He's gonna go on holiday in real life.

SPEAKER_00 12:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:20

Give him a break after the work he's put in. That's what I mean. You know, the ones in Portugal ones he's gonna be in the in the l in the hospital.

SPEAKER_00 12:28

I wonder, will he just come out after or what?

SPEAKER_01 12:31

Yeah, and then they're gonna it's maybe it could be like repercussions and it's gonna be more about him and nugget, I reckon. Building better relationship.

SPEAKER_00 12:38

Yeah. I'm ready for not I'm ready for that, I don't want it, but you know how EastEnders they give us loads and then they they mellow it out for a little bit. That's what we're gonna have now.

SPEAKER_01 12:50

Yeah, because we've got Max and because we had loads going on.

SPEAKER_00 12:53

Oh Max and Cindy. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 12:56

I like them together.

SPEAKER_00 12:57

So do I, but also don't fall in love, just shag.

SPEAKER_01 13:00

I know.

SPEAKER_00 13:00

I can't see them two in love with each other. I know.

SPEAKER_01 13:03

But I think that's gonna be the wife. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:04

That's gonna be the wife of Cindy. Instead, it's gonna that's my prediction.

SPEAKER_01 13:08

You thought it was Priya in the bed, didn't you, last time?

SPEAKER_00 13:11

Yeah, which it could be.

SPEAKER_01 13:12

It could be. She got bored of rabbits.

SPEAKER_00 13:14

Because this is more of the Brannins and the Panasars clash, and that's what I think New Year's Day is all gonna come down to, isn't the Brannins and the Panasars. So, what's your final drift of? My final dif diff is guilt with send you nuts. Crazy! Crazy. Crazy. Just get it out. Like if you do something wrong, just address it. Look, Penny's gonna go nuts in a minute.

SPEAKER_01 13:36

But sometimes the weight of a lot will eat you up. Yeah, but then it's like do I change it or forget it? But then eventually it eats you up.

SPEAKER_00 13:47

Yeah, I think it needs to be addressed, really. It needs to be addressed. Whether that's to the person or to with amongst yourself, address it, baby.

SPEAKER_01 13:55

It feels like the weight of the world. Do you know that's the world? What's that? Lamar.

SPEAKER_00 14:00

Lamar. Lamar, he's on heart radio something now, isn't he? Oh love him. Anyway, like, subscribe, comment down below. Is it Lamar? What do you think? Will Gil always catch you up?

SPEAKER_01 14:16

I think you look like a fist.