Weddings (and Flash Mobs) Are Selfish!

We use Eastenders hot topics to chat about our real worlds and have a good gossip!

Each week Abi and Ava use Eastenders storylines to talk about whats going on in their own and the wider world. 

This week they’re asking; Are weddings selfish?

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*doof doof*

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Hi, I'm Ava.

SPEAKER_00 0:01

And I'm Abby.

SPEAKER_01 0:01

And you're listening to Enders Afters.

SPEAKER_00 0:03

Where we use East Enders hot topics to talk about our real worlds.

SPEAKER_01 0:07

And have a good gossip.

SPEAKER_00 0:08

Welcome to the afters.

SPEAKER_01 0:10

Welcome to the afters.

SPEAKER_00 0:12

Abby, what's your storyline, babe? My storyline is I'm asking, are weddings selfish? I said it.

SPEAKER_01 0:23

She said it.

SPEAKER_00 0:24

I said it. Oh I said it. Do you know what? I went for dinner with a friend this week and we were talking about it. And the amount of money expected to fish out on weddings, in some cases. Selfish to sorry, selfish to who?

SPEAKER_01 0:38

Clarify.

SPEAKER_00 0:38

Oh sorry, selfish to the guests. To the guests. To the people i having to get in get involved in the wedding. Everyone that has to fucking come. Everyone apart from the bride and groom.

SPEAKER_01 0:51

And the poor groom.

SPEAKER_00 0:54

Marrying the bride. No, the poor bride marrying the groom. True. This is where I think Ross and Ross is being like, where he's making all of them do their um what do you call it? Mob. Their flash dance. Yeah. Flash mob. It's like, it's your wedding, mate. Why don't we all have to but be a part of this big extra thing that you're doing? Just do your wedding and let us know. Like, I actually do love a wedding. I love to go to weddings. I've enjoyed pretty much every wedding I've been to, but I do just think like you're telling me I have to pay this to experience your life. It's out of order. It's a lot. It's out of order. I think weddings that have the least expense that give you the most notice are the best.

SPEAKER_01 1:40

But the weddings I've gone to, which I haven't gone to many, um I haven't had to pay much for it. Maybe because I'm not like a special guest.

SPEAKER_00 1:49

Yeah, but you know, sometimes, a lot of the time, people don't get married in London. You get married in the countryside, so you have to pay for a night a night away. Most people do get married in the countryside, so you have to pay for a night away.

SPEAKER_01 2:02

Yeah, totally.

SPEAKER_00 2:03

You have to um sometimes weddings aren't a free bar, which is No, no, no, that's not okay.

SPEAKER_01 2:11

Yeah, I went to a wedding in Crawley. Shout out. And it wasn't a free bar. And the week, like a couple of months before I went to a wedding, and it was a free bar. The difference and that was kind of like my first wedding. So you bought this is how weddings work. And I was like, Why am I in a premiere inn? Yeah. Climbing over people eating their breakfast to get a wine at 11 o'clock. Oh, I think if you I was like literally in my party outfit, and then all the people from the Premier Inn were like having their fry up, and I was like, Is this the vibe that it's supposed to be? Because it's it's not like yeah, he's having fry up and fucking beans and chips, and I was there with my white wine and my fucking Louis Vuitton. I'm talking Louis Vuitton, yeah, you wish. But yeah, I was right, I was gutted about that. I thought, don't make me come to your wedding and not provide me a free bar.

SPEAKER_00 3:06

I think if you're gonna make someone come to a wedding out of town, if you're from like London, you're from an area and you get married in a completely different space place, you should be providing a pre-bar. Free bar, free bar. Free bar. Free bar because you you know, it's like you know, I understand you I've asked a hundred guests to pay for accommodation for the night. So in that case, I'm gonna make it worth your while. Yeah, definitely. Otherwise, get married somewhere local and cheap and and don't. So people don't have to travel and then they don't mind paying for drinks. It is a lot, it is a lot. You also have to plan your years around weddings in the diary. You go, like, right, should we go on a girl's holiday or should I go away with my partner or should I go to this festival? And you look in the diary and you go, I can't because Sally's wedding's in the diary.

SPEAKER_01 3:52

I know. I'm feel quite lucky because like I'm not from I'm not from a group there where everyone's getting married, but I know people that there's literally a wedding like every five minutes, and I'm like, that sounds that's a lot.

SPEAKER_00 4:03

I did have a three-year period where I had two weddings a year. I will be honest though, I did quite enjoy all of them. Um and I didn't begrudge, but I think it was like it was a novelty, I'd never really been to weddings and it was exciting. But and also I want to disclaimer this with if one of my close friends get married, I'm so buzzing for it. I think of it when I look in the diary, I think, oh no, it's it's it's fine, I can't do that because I've got an exciting wedding. But sometimes it's that middle bit where you're invited to a wedding, but it's also not your be-all and end all, you're paying out for it when you're not even really that close and do you care that much about what watching them get married. Uh if you're being honest, I know I know what I mean. Also, back in the day, I was all about weddings, I wanted to get married. I wouldn't get married now if you held a gun to my head. You hear that, boys? Back off. I wouldn't get married. I I I would love a lifelong commitment and a lifelong relationship, and I'm not afraid of an engagement ring.

SPEAKER_01 4:58

Just get in the ring, but don't say I do.

SPEAKER_00 5:00

I'm not afraid of a big chunky diamond, let me tell you that. But I'm not getting married. Not get married.

SPEAKER_01 5:07

Yeah, same. Ever.

SPEAKER_00 5:08

And maybe you have like a party or something.

SPEAKER_01 5:11

I don't even want that, to be quite honest with you.

SPEAKER_00 5:13

I think I would have that, but like that's like cool, come if you can, come if you can't. Party for what?

SPEAKER_01 5:17

Why am I coming to celebrate your love? It's not my love. That's kind of cute. Do you know it is cute for you, but I have to schlep all the way up to bloody tin book too for you.

SPEAKER_00 5:24

If you just have a party. Why? You're not getting married. But if you just have a party.

SPEAKER_01 5:28

Guys, welcome to my I love my boyfriend party.

SPEAKER_00 5:31

If you just have a party, you can just invite people that would actually want to come.

SPEAKER_01 5:35

With no wedding.

SPEAKER_00 5:36

But weddings sometimes get political.

SPEAKER_01 5:37

So what would it be to just a party?

SPEAKER_00 5:39

My brother had that.

SPEAKER_01 5:40

Oh, like a I love you wedding at a party.

SPEAKER_00 5:42

He had a party, there was a few speeches, he'd done karaoke. With no wedding. No wedding. Whoa! Was it like a civil was it like civil? No, I I think it was like on their 10-year anniversary vibe. Oh, that's nice. That makes sense. Because they've been together a really long time, they had a lot of fun. That's lovely. And they said, I think they might have called it their love party or something. I don't know if they made it that cheesy, I can't remember, but they just said like it was just it was just like their version of what they would make away from the city. Yeah, like a commitment, yeah. But it was there was no pressure, it was just like come along and party with us. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:14

My parents got married very recently, and it was so good for like tax reasons, and it was so lovely. So they've been together since Yeah, since like my mum had she I think she was like 21 or something, 22, they stayed together, and they got married, and um it was so lovely because it was like the people who had stayed. Yeah, they've been there the whole time, and your kids and your kids' friends, and no one would have begrudgingly gone to that because you it was some small, beautiful Yeah, and it's like everyone we know from the area, and then family friends, and who actually have survived the course of their instead of it being like right, you better stay with me now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you know, one and two, two and three divorce marriages end in divorce.

SPEAKER_00 6:54

They do, so do we get our money back? Because you got the pressure, it's it's there's loads to it. There's so much to it. It's overrated. I do think weddings are selfish, but I do also think sometimes I I think I do love a wedding as well, but it just has to be right. It's that in between. It's gotta be a close friend. Yeah, it's gotta be close friends, exactly. And I also think bride and grooms need to be a bit more conscious, unless you've got the money to be flying people out left, right, and centre, or if you're doing an abroad wedding, you should absolutely never do an abroad hen. And I also think you need to let people know like two years in advance, so they can think, I want to go, let me make that my holiday of that year.

SPEAKER_01 7:32

If people can't afford sometimes to go away various times of year, make yeah, so that's the the motto is be more um conscious because I think people aren't.

SPEAKER_00 7:42

Yeah, if you're not rich, be conscious. Basically get that written down. If you can't afford to pay for your wedding guests, to do everything, to come everywhere, to have a free bar, to stay here, stay there, then you should just be conscious.

SPEAKER_01 7:57

Like you're saying about the conscious, that's the buzzword of the day. Um, like all there's so many little things like the free bar, like you're saying. Be conscious of me travelling, be conscious that I'm having to take time out of my work, you take holiday.

SPEAKER_00 8:09

Yeah, which I'm gonna put weddings on a Friday.

SPEAKER_01 8:12

It's out of order.

SPEAKER_00 8:12

Annual leave. I haven't got yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:14

I haven't got an annual leave left. Because of all the weddings I've been though. Yeah, be conscious. Like, what annoys me is the money thing that does annoy me. But sometimes you ain't got it. It's like you really think that I'm like, ooh, let me save up for your wedding. No, I'm not. My close friends is getting married, and I mean I'm looking forward to that. It's like a London wedding, and you just know it'll be cute and it's good vibes. Nice. But get what you mean when you don't really know the person, it's like, oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 8:41

Like you do, but you don't care to be spending that much money on that.

SPEAKER_01 8:44

Yeah, I've been like the guest as like my partner's no, have you? And I got so drunk and my dress was so tight that I fell down the stairs and I couldn't get up because the dress was so tight.

unknown 8:54

No.

SPEAKER_01 8:55

Yeah, I embarrassed him. It was my ex. Oh, your ex. Oh, and a lot of like I think for the English weddings it doesn't ease me up, because a lot of countries they they go crazy, like an Indian wedding.

SPEAKER_00 9:06

Oh god, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:07

I've been to a Nigerian wedding, they're amazing. And then if you marry like someone who isn't, then you have like an English wedding. You have like because it's like a celebration, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:19

My um boss, April, you know who I speak about. Yeah, her husband is Indian, and she had so many people at a wedding that she didn't know. But like I think from my understanding Yeah, it gets like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:31

It's like who's that?

SPEAKER_00 9:33

My aunt's niece's nephew's niece's niece, she had like but he didn't know them either. It's because his mum and dad had to be like, those ones are fun. Those ones are fun, yeah. And she had like an English, she had like a normal wedding dress, and then she had a sari later on and it was really cute. I never went because it was before I knew her, but like it was years ago now, but like the pictures are amazing. From from my understanding, his family paid for the extra of that because which is fair enough. If you want to do it the Indian style, in which you invite literally long lost relatives, you have to do it. If you're gonna pay for it, yeah, I know it's in their culture stuff.

SPEAKER_01 10:03

It's rude if you don't do that.

SPEAKER_00 10:04

Yeah, I I think they was like, take this, which is so fair enough. Lee, she didn't have to.

SPEAKER_01 10:08

That's the one thing I love about weddings is people's families. I love meeting people's family, I love it. I'm like, oh my god, like that's where you're from.

SPEAKER_00 10:15

Like it all.

SPEAKER_01 10:23

I always find the mum and the dad, and I'm like, sit there with them all night.

SPEAKER_00 10:26

My friend Joy got married in Barcelona. It was such a good wedding. I actually loved that wedding so much, it was so fun. Do you know what she done actually? She got she organised a wedding, she only had friends and his parents and her parents, and that was it. She didn't have like extended family, so it was literally like a big fat party in Barcelona. Yeah, that's what made it way more fun and worth doing, and then if it was like having to do the niceties because we all just got went mental. Her dad's so jokes, and when we met him, it was like, oh, it made so much sense of like joy. And he got up and he was like, God, it's like wedding speech, they're from Brighton. They're like, he's a proper geezer, and he got up and he went because he was in like this massive building in Barcelona, and he went, it's like something out of a mansion. And then he said, You like that, so from Love Island. It was so funny, yeah. It was so gorgeous. I actually I think that might be my favourite wedding to go to. The whole holiday was fab. I love how we're like weddings are selfish, and then we're like, God, I love a wedding. I do love a wedding.

SPEAKER_01 11:32

No say, but they're selfish.

SPEAKER_00 11:35

I'm pretty sure that was a free bar as well, though. Cool, get me to Barcelona if you're gonna give away.

SPEAKER_01 11:39

They are great, aren't they? And also like it's the ones that are done well with the people you like, they're they're fun.

SPEAKER_00 11:44

But when when you are the tag along, it can be a bit like but the good thing about EastEnders is they'll never get you to go abroad because it just wouldn't work for the show. Yeah, when we're gonna be able to do it. So it's always gonna be local community.

SPEAKER_01 11:54

It's always in the Vic. But why is Zach doing the wedding? What is it when you're it's best man, that's it. I know, it's such a tree.

SPEAKER_00 12:05

Oh, I just he put me on a spot. You would find an excuse.

SPEAKER_01 12:09

He's messing with Vicky's head. He's messing with her head, Zach. Vicky's choosing to. Yeah, because he wants her. And he's being like he pulled her aside and he snogged her behind the bar or whatever it was. Don't you're gonna make me a bit. Married me, Zach.

SPEAKER_00 12:26

He's acting as levelled up. It's alright. No, I'm into it.

SPEAKER_01 12:30

No, I mean, uh, he's not bad, but like the characters, like, he's not my favourite character, but not my favourite character at all, but I I I'm I I enjoy him watching him. Well, he has been there about five years, he's better at bloody levelled up.

SPEAKER_00 12:39

Yeah, levelled up, yeah. But uh I enjoy watching him to be fair.

SPEAKER_01 12:41

So he's messing with her, he keeps being like, I want you, I want you, and then like sniffing around her. Yeah, I know. Men ma dodgy bastard.

SPEAKER_00 12:49

But yeah, that's a good thing about East Enders is their weddings are never selfish.

SPEAKER_01 12:53

Dan the Vic was gonna go there anyway. Is the furthest they're gonna go. Like a like a tip.

SPEAKER_00 12:58

Why don't they all get married in the square? Do none of them want to go to land?

SPEAKER_01 13:01

That's like my kind of wedding I want, though. I love a bit of that.

SPEAKER_00 13:04

If you was to marry Dexter, what would you do? Have it out there and do you know what I'd have? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:09

In the middle of the court random bathing. You know what I would have is a pasta buffet.

SPEAKER_00 13:15

My friend had a big paill. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:18

And self-service is quite cute.

SPEAKER_00 13:21

It wasn't self-service, someone do it can't, but it was just a one big that was what you get.

SPEAKER_01 13:25

Yeah, like on the table, like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I love all that. I don't want this pony little like I want you to get married just for the pasta buffet. I know. I'm going in, I know, and I know where I'm gonna go. Yeah, oh god, and yeah, just party. Yeah, that's all you need. That's all you need. But that's never gonna happen. Yeah, might do. I don't really want to get married. I could imagine you get married in like 15 or 20 years after you've had a kid or whatever. But yeah, um Zach is messing with her mind, so now she's really gonna marry Ross. Do you think she's gonna go through with it?

SPEAKER_00 13:58

How many weddings do you guilt think go ahead with some one of them thinking I don't actually want to do this? Loads.

SPEAKER_01 14:05

Because there's so many weddings I hear about where they last six weeks.

SPEAKER_00 14:11

And also when you've made that much of a fuss, this is why why you make a fuss at your wedding.

SPEAKER_01 14:17

Yeah, you wouldn't be like at the altar, like no. You made everyone paid to come abroad, blah blah blah blah blah. Yeah, yeah, and I think you should give that money back to the people who fucking come to your wedding. God, I'd feel so awful. The thought of I know, it must be so hard. Yeah. Because a lot of times, like you get wrapped up in it and you end up at the altar, and you're like, how did that happen? Oh god. But yeah, do you think Vicky's gonna go through with it? Yeah. Oh, I don't know actually, I've not thought about it. With Zach being like, do you take this man to be on the book? With Willie Ow.

unknown 14:51

With Willie Owl.

SPEAKER_01 14:52

But yeah, what's your final diff?

SPEAKER_00 14:54

My final duft div is if you can't afford to do it properly, don't do it at all.

SPEAKER_01 15:01

Don't put the pressure on us. You're getting no invites. Don't really. Oh, I know. No, no, no.

SPEAKER_00 15:08

But obviously, if it's my close friends.

SPEAKER_01 15:09

It's not about people you know, it's generally that you're seeing it here.

SPEAKER_00 15:11

If it's my close friends, I want to go to that. The same way I want to go to a good event, I want to go to on a good holiday, I want to go to a good festival, I would want to go to a good friend's wedding. Is that in between bit?

SPEAKER_01 15:21

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Totally, I get you.

SPEAKER_00 15:22

Anyway, cheers for us about like subscribe, comment down below, do a little wedding emoji so we can.

SPEAKER_01 15:28

I'm gonna be new spent on a wedding.

SPEAKER_00 15:31

Do you want us us to come to your wedding?