Has Anyone on Eastenders NOT Slept With Their Mates Ex?

We use Eastenders hot topics to chat about our real worlds and have a good gossip!

Each week Abi and Ava use Eastenders storylines to talk about whats going on in their own and the wider world. 

This week they’re asking; Is it ever okay to sleep with a friends ex?

Please like, subscribe, comment if you enjoyed this episode. It really helps us grow and bring you more episodes. Find us on all socials under @Endersafters x

*doof doof*

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Hi, I'm Ava. And I'm Abby. And you're listening to Enders Afters.

SPEAKER_02 0:04

Where we use East Enders hot topics to talk about our real worlds.

SPEAKER_01 0:08

And have a good gossip.

SPEAKER_02 0:09

Welcome to the Welcome to the Afters. So, Ava, what's your storyline?

SPEAKER_01 0:16

Is it ever okay to get with your friends A?

SPEAKER_02 0:21

No.

SPEAKER_01 0:22

Well, Ron and Linda are at it.

SPEAKER_02 0:25

Yeah. And that's Phil's. Sharon's his best her bestie.

SPEAKER_01 0:29

Sharon's her bestie.

SPEAKER_02 0:31

Of years.

SPEAKER_01 0:32

And also Phil's got with.

SPEAKER_02 0:36

Phil and Linda have not been together, have they? No. Do we have a little bit of a I think they're besties.

SPEAKER_01 0:43

Linda's gets about it.

SPEAKER_02 0:45

Linda gets about. But still, Sharon's her best friend. That's her ex with loads of history.

SPEAKER_01 0:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 0:50

And also, like, that ain't the only sending storyline that happens with it. It happens all the time.

SPEAKER_01 0:55

Because when Sharon gets back, she's gonna be pissed.

SPEAKER_02 0:58

When is Sharon back? I know we have to Google that soon. Miss Sharon.

SPEAKER_01 1:02

Yeah. She's doing a workout. She lost all that weight, didn't she?

SPEAKER_02 1:07

Oh yeah, that weren't working out.

SPEAKER_00 1:12

It was Davina McCool's workout DVD.

SPEAKER_02 1:15

Davina McCools.

SPEAKER_00 1:16

Do you remember when everyone had a everyone had a workout DVD?

SPEAKER_02 1:19

I think my mum had it. And everyone actually Yeah, I know. It's like workout DVDs. See, this is diet culture to a T. Like now we're on the Zenpic, but it was Davina McCool's. Everyone that lost weight brought out a workout DVD.

SPEAKER_01 1:32

Everyone. They had a personal trainer, but no, it was the DVD.

SPEAKER_02 1:35

Yeah, literally. I bet people lose weight on a Zenpic now and then bring out a fitness plan.

SPEAKER_01 1:39

Yeah. I bet that happens too. A lot of them lie, don't they, still, on TV. It's like we all know it's the Zen Penzoo.

SPEAKER_02 1:45

Yeah, we know now, so we may as well just admit it.

SPEAKER_01 1:48

But some people do like work hard and everyone.

SPEAKER_02 1:52

Absolutely, I know, which is sad for the people that do actually work hard to lose away.

SPEAKER_01 1:55

Yeah, because I feel like when you lose weight, it's consistent and then all of a sudden it shows. And then when people notice, they're like, when did that happen? It's like I have been doing it.

SPEAKER_02 2:05

That bitch, I've been on the keto for six years.

SPEAKER_01 2:06

Yeah, I've been crying my eyes out for 400 years because I wanted the pizza. And now it's a Zempic.

SPEAKER_02 2:12

Literally, I love how we go from should you sleep with your friends X to a Zempic.

SPEAKER_01 2:17

It's all about the Ozemp, isn't it? It's all Manjaro.

SPEAKER_02 2:20

But it all comes back to giant culture.

SPEAKER_01 2:21

But yeah, is it okay to think?

SPEAKER_02 2:23

Like in the first instance, no, but it's such a nuanced subject.

SPEAKER_01 2:28

It really is because it's very common.

SPEAKER_02 2:31

Babe, it happens all the time, everywhere, all the time, all the time. Happens to me right now. Especially if you have like a mixed friendship group of like boys and girls, I think it's even more common because you're all friends anyway, as opposed to like, you know, you some friendship groups are very like just girls, and then they don't really have many boymates, or vice versa. That's when I think it gets even more like scandalous because um it's like then they've snuck around to get to that rather than like been friends and it's happened. But like I think it happens all the time, and sometimes it's absolutely not okay, and then sometimes well, do you know what? Most of the time, it is not okay. It's not okay to get with your friend's ex bottom line, end of story. But it happens so much, I do think there has to be some level of acceptance that like people do just create connections, yeah. And I actually think it's just about how you deal with that and how you approach it happening, how you deal with it happening, that really is the big telltale. I think it's supernatural, even though and also it depends on the friendship, it depends on the friendship.

SPEAKER_01 3:36

It's supernatural, even though it's not okay because it's a trust thing, but it is also natural because let's say, like you say you've got a friendship group, yeah, and then usually you meet someone through someone, yeah, and then that person you've met through usually knows someone, yeah, and then it's like oh that's my mate's thingy, and then you're like fuck, and then it's awkward, but it's like connections connect, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 3:58

But if it's like that's your mate's thingy, I think people probably do get their feelings hurt, but fine. But if you sleep with my ex, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:05

And oh if you slept with my ex, what are you happy?

SPEAKER_02 4:08

Or if I slept with yours, that is unforgivable.

unknown 4:11

I don't forgive.

SPEAKER_02 4:12

Do you know what I mean? Because we're we're best friends and we then at the same time.

SPEAKER_01 4:15

I do also think it's who you are, because I know people that actually don't give a shit because they're so done, and they really actually don't give a shit. They'll be like, yeah, cool, I don't care.

SPEAKER_02 4:23

They don't, yeah. I agree, and these are the ones that can do it to a close, close friends, and there's not like a nuanced thing to it that it is so nuanced because like humour. It depends, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:34

We're I'm saying it's okay, but it's also not like it really depends on the friendship, yeah, and it depends on the person, and like you have to deal with it well.

SPEAKER_02 4:44

There's a program Summer House, it's a Bravo one, it's a like the same franchise as Real House, but If for anyone don't watch it, and something like that has happened at the moment, and the situation ain't okay. They were best friends. I can't even be wanted to explain it, it just ain't okay, it's been dealt with terribly, blah blah blah blah. But I think in some okay I I actually don't think it's ever okay. I just think sometimes it's just gonna happen, you just have to accept it, and in some cases it should never have fucking happened, and it's so wrong, and it wasn't worth the fallout. But in some ways, it's like, oh well, I can see how that did happen.

SPEAKER_01 5:16

Yeah, it's one thing yeah, it's one thing like acting on it, and it's another thing like having the the feelings because it's how you act on it. If you go and do it, that's how you go about it, yeah. Yeah, if you go and do it, and then there's literally no like understanding with your friend, and then you've got into this hole and it's a bit of a nightmare, and yeah, that happens so much.

SPEAKER_02 5:36

I've actually done it and I've had it happen to me.

SPEAKER_01 5:39

God damn. Ha ha ha ha don't let me both sides of the coin, both sides of the coin.

SPEAKER_02 5:44

Let me tell you that I didn't mean it. What do you want to hear first? It happening to me or me doing it?

SPEAKER_01 5:50

You doing it being the time.

SPEAKER_02 5:52

It happening to me because that's a way smaller story. So I was my first ever boyfriend, wasn't much of a relationship. We were together like a year, but it was just our relationship wasn't much of a relationship, and I had a really good friend that I was close with, definitely towards like the end, and and it this was probably like a year after me and my ex had broken up, and we were really good friends, and then all of a sudden she did just go kind of a bit quiet on me, and I did clock it, but obviously did not associate it with anything. No one told me at all, they let me come to a party where both of them were gonna be at, and um and my friend was so fuming that they'd let me come to the party, and um, I I noticed like me and him were cool by this point, and I noticed he was so cold to me that night, and the girl was so cold to me, and it was really weird. And do you know what? She even had the cheek, I was only like 18 at the time or 19, she had the cheek of saying to me that night, it bringing up in conversation like, oh, how would you feel if like he would go with a new girlfriend? And do you know what's so funny? I didn't know it, I hadn't found out by this point of the night. But do you know what my response was? Do you know what my response was? I'm so happy with it. I was like, I think if he just got with someone else, they'd be fine, like we've broken up ages. I think I'd just hate you if it was someone I knew. And I didn't even know that it was ever, but luckily I responded that. I was like, Slay, I responded to that without even knowing. And my friend that wasn't happy with the situation or not happy with the fact that they hadn't told me, basically was like, You need to tell her. I walked in, kind of being like, you need to tell her, and then he was like, She's there, you too, you tell her. Like she with my brain had my back. Bravo! And then I was literally like, Taxi! I'm not standing here to a scotting taxi. I was like, Fuck you, like blah blah blah. But in the grand scheme of things, it actually kind of helped me eradicate him from my life quicker because it was like really hurting that moment. But after that, I forgot he was a bit.

SPEAKER_01 7:42

Yeah, and whether it's your friend or the man.

SPEAKER_02 7:44

I was 19 in hindsight, the relationship weren't that deep, and they are together now and have a baby together.

SPEAKER_01 7:49

Oh my god, thank God you were out of the picture. Yeah, that's when these things are fine. You check you made um you made the baby.

SPEAKER_02 7:57

Yeah, I made the baby, but I did hear he may or may not have cheated her on now over the years, just saying.

SPEAKER_01 8:03

Anyway, um I'm not surprised.

SPEAKER_02 8:06

I think she knows as well. I think it was a whole thing. Anyway, um, and in the time I done it. Sorry guys. So basically, my ex-boyfriend, not my most recent ex, but my other ex, he um he was just a bit of a boy to be honest. He'd slept we were I I lived in Australia, we had a big fat mixed friendship group, and he would slept um with a few quite a few of my friends, some of them on like an ongoing basis, but he never he was like known for not for being a bit of a fuckboy and never fully being able to like give much to it. He even was seeing my best friend at one point, but this was like years before, and um basically he was seeing another girl in the group, but he was just fucking her around loads and would just like air her and burrow. I even this is the worst part. I even look, me and this girl wasn't friends on a basis where we would even text each other or meet up alone, we were just in the same friendship group, but there was an instance where I sat with the rest of the girls in the group and she said how he was treating her, and I gave it the whole babe, you need to fuck him up, fuck him, blah blah blah blah blah bug him into my arms. I think that was one of the worst parts about it. And then um, but at that point, I thought men like him, like man, like ain't a bit of me. Like, I find that I always found that like not attractive. The way we got together was a smaller group from this friendship group went away for the weekend, so it was only like six of us, and we was really, we really got really drunk, and he was a bit flirty with me, and I was a bit flirty back. He smoozed you! No, no, no, not at all. Like he had not smooshed me at this point. We were a bit flirty with each other. The next day he kind of brought it up, like kind of like Jake wasn't thinking and I like you, you know, babe. No, not even like he was just a bit like he was just a bit flirty. Again, it wasn't even that thingy, it was a bit, it was very subtle, it wasn't like a really like obvious flirting, we're just being a bit cheeky with each other. He said something cheeky the next day, I can't even remember what it was. And I basically said to him, Oh babe, no chance with me. And that was like he was like, Now I have to pursue her, and he's pursued me for four months, and obviously it was all secret because like I look now. I'm like eight, nine years removed from it. I'll be honest, I loved the attention, I loved that he was like was trying to pursue me. And in the beginning, I definitely thought, like, no chance, babe. I I meant everything I said, but the more I didn't want to be with him, the more he wanted to be with me, and like he pursued and pursued, and then it did get to a point where we were spending time together, and I never slept with him until people found out, but I like we were spending time together, and then eventually we kissed, and like I was I really held back, it wasn't like a straight thing for ages, and then like I was like, Oh, how do we address this? And like it fucking went down like a sack of shit, and and it went down a sack of shit.

SPEAKER_01 11:04

Everyone was like, Who's laughing now, huh? You're telling me not to go for him and look at you now.

SPEAKER_02 11:09

No, no, no, I don't mean the relationship went down the floor. Yeah, that's saying it's everyone else, they were like everyone else. Why didn't you say that? And it went like down with a sack of shit to the girl, and like while I didn't mean to help the girl's feelings, and I do understand why she was hurt, I don't think I owed a hell of a lot to her. She'd also got with him after loads of other girls and our friends getting with him too. So she had done the same thing.

SPEAKER_01 11:29

That's the thing I think a lot of a lot of girls they tend to like hold it.

SPEAKER_02 11:34

I think it was just she didn't like that. I think it was like, oh, I hate to say she had learned that he was finally committing to someone.

SPEAKER_01 11:41

Yeah, I think he wouldn't with anyone else involved where it's like because I've had him, you can't have him.

SPEAKER_02 11:46

And I think it was just a knock to her self-esteem because he never would give her anything to her, and we got into a relationship, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I get that, I would have felt like that too. But what what it did affect is my other friendships in the group that I was close with because they were really disappointed. But like in hindsight, like fuck it.

SPEAKER_01 12:04

Yeah, no, I lived, you lived and learned.

SPEAKER_02 12:06

It's not the most ideal situation, but I did live and learn, and so I can't say I actually do regret it. And we did get into a relationship, and it was toxic, but like we're still cool now, and it's fine, and I learned so much from it, and and and I didn't just like end up sleeping with my friend's ex like if anything, they weren't actually together, and we ended up getting into a relationship.

SPEAKER_01 12:25

That's what we're saying, like, of the nuance. There's a nuance. People have I'm not saying it's right either.

SPEAKER_02 12:29

I'm just saying these things happen. That's what I mean.

SPEAKER_01 12:31

I know of girls, like I was saying before, there it's like because I've been there, you can't go there. Yeah. When it's someone you don't really know, and it's like if it's a close friend, it's yeah, that's different. But when it's like someone you know of, like it's gonna happen if it happens.

SPEAKER_02 12:44

I even said to my ex when we broke up, like a different ex, that I was like, you know, I don't think we should be getting with each other's friends, but there is a chance that we'll get with people that each other know that each other know, and I think we do have to accept that now because I get it, if we'd been together five years, that should be off the table, but we weren't together long enough to write write off at people that we both know. Yeah, and I've even like matched-yeah, and I've even like matched on hinge with people that he knows and stuff like that.

SPEAKER_01 13:13

So well, I know um of a couple who they were best friends and they had a best friend couple. Oh god, where are you going with this? So imagine me and you are a couple, then there's another couple, we're a couple, we've got two best, we've got a best friend couple. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:31

Our boyfriend's a best friend. They all switched, like purposefully, or it had just so happened.

SPEAKER_01 13:36

Well, that's what I'm saying. Nothing, I feel like nothing, it depends. Did they have a conversation? Yeah, of course, of course. Of course. They were like, I'm not happy with you. Um, and then one of them was like, I'm not happy with you, and they switched, and like now they're happy.

SPEAKER_02 13:50

And they're all best friends still, yeah, and they're actually happy. And they're happier than they were before.

SPEAKER_01 13:56

That's beautiful. That's maturity. It's kinky.

SPEAKER_02 13:58

That's a matter.

SPEAKER_01 13:59

That's what it is.

SPEAKER_02 14:00

It's kinky and it's a level of maturity that I don't think I've got.

SPEAKER_01 14:03

That's what I'm saying. There are these crazy stories. I know I was like, because one of them had a kid, I think. And I was like, so your mum's now your best friend.

SPEAKER_02 14:15

Oh my god! They'd already had the kid before the swap. Oh my god, this is juicy. TTT. This is very senders coded. That is so senders coded.

SPEAKER_01 14:25

So they obviously had the conversation, it's not like, oh. I feel like when you're younger, it's very more complicated.

SPEAKER_02 14:31

But it's because I think your ego's a bit more in.

SPEAKER_01 14:34

Yeah, and your hormones are rife when you're young. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But when you're older, it's like more about companionship and like happiness and like what you want from life instead of like, this is my man and you can't take him and da da da da. Do you know what I mean? But we've got that on the square a lot.

SPEAKER_02 14:48

We've got that with Oh my god, it's the most Extended Codest thing ever is to get with because I say they release people.

SPEAKER_01 14:53

Denise and Sam are good friends now, but yeah, but were they good friends before? Jack, they got a kid and Raymond's Phil.

SPEAKER_02 15:03

There is not a single person on East Enders that hasn't got with their friends ex.

SPEAKER_01 15:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:09

Find me someone on EastEnders that hasn't got with their friends ex.

SPEAKER_01 15:12

I know.

SPEAKER_02 15:13

For real.

SPEAKER_01 15:13

Even Oscar.

SPEAKER_02 15:15

Yeah, I know.

SPEAKER_01 15:16

He didn't mean to start and then get it with the brother, but they're it's gonna be a triangle. That hasn't come through either. Yeah, because the the sexual tensions are rising with the for real.

SPEAKER_02 15:25

And even you've got like the fact that like, yeah, uh what I notice is when like Phil um is obviously like mourning the loss of Nigel and Kat's been really supportive and stuff like that, but that's her ex-bloke, and Alfie's coming in the pub, and that's his like do you know what I mean? Like, there is not. I challenge people to find me someone on East Enders that hasn't got with their friends' ex.

SPEAKER_01 15:45

And Linda being jealous of Cindy and Max, which is so funny because Max is who broke her and make up.

SPEAKER_02 15:51

I know. I don't know why she's so into Max, but Max But Max is Max. Max is Max. Max has got with everyone's ex.

SPEAKER_01 15:58

That's not me. Max is everyone's ex. I know. If only he was ours.

SPEAKER_02 16:04

No, he's not a bit of me, but Grant's definitely not a bit of me. Can we talk about the fact of how they got together? When they got together and they had one little smooch and then went and ran off into the bedroom.

SPEAKER_01 16:15

I know. Grow up!

SPEAKER_02 16:17

I know.

SPEAKER_01 16:17

Grow up, I know, Grant, like your best friend's dying.

SPEAKER_02 16:21

That's true, he just died already.

SPEAKER_01 16:23

That was such a sad episode, wasn't it?

SPEAKER_02 16:25

I know.

SPEAKER_01 16:26

R.I.P. Nigel. R.I.P.

SPEAKER_02 16:28

Nigel Nigel would never get with his friend's ex.

SPEAKER_01 16:30

He's got Julie Julie, but he did love, he loved his ex in his when he had that event.

SPEAKER_02 16:34

Yeah, but he was a warm woman man.

SPEAKER_01 16:35

Julie.

SPEAKER_02 16:36

Yeah, it was Debbie and then Julie. I know. So what's your final div?

SPEAKER_01 16:44

My final div div is depends on the situation. You can fuck your friend's ex. But you can't. You can, but you can't fuck your friends ex. Yeah, live a little, guys. It's so nuanced. And it's very common. It's very common. I hear about all the time.

SPEAKER_02 17:00

In World, it's so common.

SPEAKER_01 17:02

Yeah, and I hear about all the time. People are.

SPEAKER_02 17:03

Yeah, I know, because there's like there's limited people in the world.

SPEAKER_01 17:07

It's tough out there.

SPEAKER_02 17:09

It is. Anyway, cheers to that.

SPEAKER_01 17:12

Cheers to that.

SPEAKER_02 17:12

Like, subscribe, tell us have you slept with your friend's ex? Have your friends slept with your ex? Tell us. Have you slept with your ex? Yeah. Have you slept with an ex? Like, subscribe, comment, it really helps. See you next time. See ya.