Who Knew Ian Beale Would be the Eastenders Drink Driver

We use Eastenders hot topics to chat about our real worlds and have a good gossip!

Each week Abi and Ava use Eastenders storylines to talk about whats going on in their own and the wider world. 

This week they’re asking; How many units are too many to drive?

Please like, subscribe, comment if you enjoyed this episode. It really helps us grow and bring you more episodes. Find us on all socials under @Endersafters x

*doof doof*

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Hi, I'm Ava. And I'm Abby. And you're listening to Ender's Afters.

SPEAKER_00 0:03

Where we use East Enders hot topics to talk about our real worlds.

SPEAKER_01 0:07

And have a good gossip.

SPEAKER_00 0:08

Welcome to the afters. Welcome to the afters. So, Ava, what is your storyline?

SPEAKER_01 0:15

Have you been in an altercation on the road? Got yourself into some trouble on the road.

SPEAKER_00 0:20

Do you know what? I'm actually very lucky. I've had one minor crash my whole driving life.

SPEAKER_01 0:25

Really?

SPEAKER_00 0:25

I wish the same could be said for him, Bill.

SPEAKER_01 0:28

Oh my god. He's put Jordan in a wheelchair.

SPEAKER_00 0:31

I'm laughing. Is he in a wheelchair?

SPEAKER_01 0:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 0:34

Is that confirmed?

SPEAKER_01 0:35

It's not confirmed, but that's what's gonna happen, what they think. Because she's got all that guilt as well, hasn't she, Chelsea?

SPEAKER_00 0:41

Because she just wanted to have a good time.

SPEAKER_01 0:43

She said, fuck off! I'm trying to have a good time at the party.

SPEAKER_00 0:47

I'm at the wedding trying to pull.

SPEAKER_01 0:49

I know.

SPEAKER_00 0:50

Bless her, she'll never live with herself.

SPEAKER_01 0:52

I know. I haven't because I why not, Ava! I failed my test three two. I know. I know, guys. Give me a round of applause.

SPEAKER_00 1:06

Guys, a sympathy round of applause.

SPEAKER_01 1:08

Is that test is bullshit? I know.

SPEAKER_00 1:10

Me and Ava have been out driving. You've even got yourself a car, haven't you?

SPEAKER_01 1:14

Yeah, because I'm like, I'm not paying them lessons anymore.

SPEAKER_00 1:16

No, and I've taken her out driving because I'm not to brag or anything, but I passed first time 15 years ago.

SPEAKER_01 1:22

Not to rubber. Well, I'm a Londoner, we don't need to learn to drive the bus.

SPEAKER_00 1:28

Yeah, exactly. Central gal. Um, yeah, we've been going out on little lessons. And you're such a good driver, this is a thing, but I just think tell more than that. Tell more than roundabouts.

SPEAKER_01 1:39

Tell more than test centre than that.

SPEAKER_00 1:41

More than roundabouts.

SPEAKER_01 1:42

Because that would mean I wouldn't back into a little kid on Wolford. I'd be very careful.

SPEAKER_00 1:46

You would never do that.

SPEAKER_01 1:47

I would never.

SPEAKER_00 1:48

If you bumped, you would have got out and seen what it was.

SPEAKER_01 1:50

I would have had a mental breakdown.

SPEAKER_00 1:51

Would you have drunk drove?

SPEAKER_01 1:53

No. Because I'm a bit older now. Yeah. I think when you're younger, you go a bit crazier.

SPEAKER_00 1:59

Yeah, yeah, yeah. When you're younger, you don't program how stupid it is. I even said to my friend, I have a friend that does drink drive, and I said to my other friend a few years ago, she's like, that is so he's so fucking stupid. And she kind of was a bit like, if he wants to, let him do it. And I said to her, no, it ain't about him. He can put his life at risk if he wants to. He's putting all these other people's life at risk, and she was like, Yeah, true, actually. I didn't think of that. Yeah, you should think of that. Yeah, literally.

SPEAKER_01 2:25

All of the accidents are from people.

SPEAKER_00 2:27

Like Getz.

SPEAKER_01 2:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:29

You know, Getz, the rapper. Yeah. Do you know about that? Yeah. And he was drink driving and killed a young international student. Is that true? Now he's in prison.

SPEAKER_01 2:36

I know. It's so sad. Yeah, it's so stupid.

SPEAKER_00 2:39

He's ruined his life and someone and killed someone else.

SPEAKER_01 2:41

Yeah. Or what?

SPEAKER_00 2:43

Because you couldn't get a taxi home.

SPEAKER_01 2:44

And just for speeding and stuff.

SPEAKER_00 2:46

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's dumb.

SPEAKER_01 2:48

Get me on that 20 miles an hour road.

SPEAKER_00 2:50

I know, yeah, you're a proper 20 miles an hour. When you learn later as well, you do end up listening to the rules.

SPEAKER_01 2:55

I know, I know.

SPEAKER_00 2:56

Like when you learn younger, I'm way less reckless than I used to be, but I was reckless. And I still am a bit more because driving to me is second nature.

SPEAKER_01 3:05

Yeah, get into your habits. But it's interesting what they're doing on these tenders because they're showing the limits of alcohol.

SPEAKER_00 3:12

I know, which I didn't know. When he said when he was saying, when Ian Bill was saying, I've only had one drink, I've only had one drink. We were like, ah Yeah, I was like, exactly, babe, but he's only had one. I thought it was then gonna play into like another storyline. I didn't realise that the storyline was gonna be one is enough.

SPEAKER_01 3:29

Yeah, about all the different units, and like poor Ian Bill, Mayor of Woolford.

SPEAKER_00 3:33

He's not the mayor, by the way. You keep saying this, he's a councillor.

SPEAKER_01 3:36

Oh, he's not the mayor, he's not Sadiq.

SPEAKER_00 3:38

Oh, when I was editing the last episode and you said mayor of East Enders, I was cracking up. He's not Sadiq.

SPEAKER_01 3:45

What's a councillor then? A councillor is just like someone in the council that put up the marquees and make the little charity events.

SPEAKER_00 3:51

Yeah, he just works away in the council. He likes so they'll have an area and they campaign for their area and stuff, but it's not the mayor is like of the whole council. The mayor runs a whole council where he will run a section of the council. So say that Albert Square. Say they're in the borough of Hackney or Stratford, I don't know what bar there's Stratford's not a borough, but in the borough of Hackney, Hackney will have a mayor and he'll be a councillor in the Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:15

No, I'm excellent now.

SPEAKER_00 4:16

Yeah what a councillor is.

SPEAKER_01 4:17

But yeah, so he's in the prison.

SPEAKER_00 4:20

I know that's his political career down the lane.

SPEAKER_01 4:22

Down the train, down the lane. Down the chain, give it to a lane. And he's feeling ill. He's gone to the lawyer.

SPEAKER_00 4:31

Gone to the lawyer, I should hope so.

SPEAKER_01 4:33

I know.

SPEAKER_00 4:33

Because he's bang to rights. Bang to rights. But I would have one drink and think I'm absolutely to be honest. I think I'd probably have two, depending on what they are. No, no, depending how paced out throughout the night they are.

SPEAKER_01 4:46

I thought it was down to like how big you are, how whatever, because it does affect you. Like I get drunk so quickly.

SPEAKER_00 4:52

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:52

I can drink under the table, but I'll be so pissed.

SPEAKER_00 4:55

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's so true about you.

SPEAKER_01 4:56

So it's weird. Like some people can have three and then Yeah, it does depend on you.

SPEAKER_00 5:01

It's no set rule for everyone. There's no not many.

SPEAKER_01 5:03

Well, anyway, I've got a quick game of guess the units.

SPEAKER_00 5:06

Really?

SPEAKER_01 5:07

Yeah, because I found it quite interesting.

SPEAKER_00 5:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:10

All the different units.

SPEAKER_00 5:11

Yeah, go on.

SPEAKER_01 5:12

So I'm gonna take two different drinks, and you're gonna tell me which has got more.

SPEAKER_00 5:15

Okay. Oh, I like this game.

SPEAKER_01 5:17

We've got strongbow. Black.

SPEAKER_00 5:22

Strongbow.

SPEAKER_01 5:23

Or fosters. Or both 500 mil.

SPEAKER_00 5:26

Well, like, I would say strongbow, but I bet I'm gonna be surprised and it's fosters.

SPEAKER_01 5:31

Final answer.

SPEAKER_00 5:33

Foster's.

SPEAKER_01 5:34

No, strongbow, 3.75 and strongbows, and fosters is two.

SPEAKER_00 5:39

Wow, that's quite a big difference.

SPEAKER_01 5:40

Big difference. What's the unit?

SPEAKER_00 5:42

How many units to be over? How many units do they say to drink?

SPEAKER_01 5:45

I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 5:46

What's the recommended amount? How many units should you drink? How many units should Ian Bill drink before he gets banged up? Maybe he's gonna be on sabbatical. Maybe Adam Wooder is going on sabbatical, and that's why this is happening.

SPEAKER_01 6:01

So there's no there's no safe unit or limit. Four units, about two pints. So we only had one. Okay, so what are they saying about Ian right now?

SPEAKER_00 6:12

Give me the other drink, sure, yeah, gone.

SPEAKER_01 6:13

Guinness. Yeah, or Stella Artois.

SPEAKER_00 6:18

Stella for sure.

SPEAKER_01 6:20

Yeah. Guinness is quite low, it's one point.

SPEAKER_00 6:22

Yeah, I would imagine it's because it's a bit like foodie. Yeah. I've drunk it, but yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:26

We've got the Holston Pills, which is a bit, or the White Star. They love White Star. White Star. It's gotta be a white star. That's what keeps you alive when you're cold. Yeah, Stella uh Stella's Holston was 275 and White Star's 375. So basically, one of them is enough. Enough.

SPEAKER_00 6:47

Um do you feel sorry for Ian?

SPEAKER_01 6:50

Yeah, I do. He was taking Caff Kathy.

SPEAKER_00 6:53

Drunk Kathy, drunk Kathy are 10 billion units.

SPEAKER_01 6:56

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I do feel sorry for him. He's showing remorse.

SPEAKER_00 7:00

He's showing serious remorse, actually, you're right. I do feel sorry for him. It's not really his fault.

SPEAKER_01 7:05

No.

SPEAKER_00 7:05

Like imagine you did get into a sticky one like that, and then you're like stuck. Oh, it'd be awful. Not only have you got the guilt of hurting a child, but you might go to prison.

SPEAKER_01 7:14

I know.

SPEAKER_00 7:14

What do you reckon? Do you reckon he is going on sabbatical? Adam Woodjart's having six months off.

SPEAKER_01 7:19

I think they're gonna get annoyed at him and then he's gonna get the lawyer involved, he's gonna lawyer up.

SPEAKER_00 7:24

Yeah, he just got the joke. Then maybe he'd go bankrupt again and be homeless after career and up.

SPEAKER_01 7:29

Do you know what's funny though is when he's on the square, everyone's looking at him like a piece of shit. I know. And it's like, if you do one thing in Wolford, everyone knows your business.

SPEAKER_00 7:36

Yeah, fully.

SPEAKER_01 7:37

That'd be so horrible.

SPEAKER_00 7:39

Well, after he's flaunting himself around being the counsellor, you would you know these politicians and they'd hold themselves accountable.

SPEAKER_01 7:45

He's like, it was one drink. They're all like, You're a drink driver. But he's like, it was one drink.

SPEAKER_00 7:51

It's nice he got a chance to speak to Chelsea though.

SPEAKER_01 7:53

I know.

SPEAKER_00 7:54

Sad though. So sad, poor Jordan. Is that gonna be you when you're on the road?

SPEAKER_01 7:59

Yeah, one drink.

SPEAKER_00 8:01

Too many. Your local so close, it would be silly to drive. I know. Takes double the time to drive there.

SPEAKER_01 8:07

I did want to drive there the other day, and I thought just to like be in my car, not drink.

SPEAKER_00 8:12

Yeah, but to show people and I just don't have a license. I'll sit with you one time when we go driving.

SPEAKER_01 8:18

You can drink it.

SPEAKER_00 8:19

I'll be your instructor, yeah, yeah, yeah. And your instructor's parallel.

SPEAKER_01 8:22

I should like drivers home now.

SPEAKER_00 8:23

Yes. Do you know anyone that's gone down for drink driving apart from Chloe Kardashian?

SPEAKER_01 8:30

No.

SPEAKER_00 8:31

Maybe that's what Ian will do. He'll do like a Chris Jenner. You know, when she went to prison for like three hours, that would be Ian Bill. And Kathy would be given Chris Jenner.

SPEAKER_01 8:41

Release Ian.

SPEAKER_00 8:42

Yeah, release Ian Bill. Do you remember that when Chloe Kardashian? Maybe that's what's gonna happen.

SPEAKER_01 8:47

Well, Kim's with Louis Hamilton, so he ain't drink driving.

SPEAKER_00 8:51

Oh no. He'd be driving.

SPEAKER_01 8:54

That's a fake relationship.

SPEAKER_00 8:56

Oh, that can be faker.

SPEAKER_01 8:57

That's a fake relationship.

SPEAKER_00 8:58

I act so funny you said that. I thought that I rarely think about Kim and Kardashian. But I thought to myself yesterday that was staged.

SPEAKER_01 9:05

So I'm like, why is it all over my table?

SPEAKER_00 9:07

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:09

But also not realising that every every single thing she does, including her kids, is all for show and her image.

SPEAKER_00 9:16

Oh, 100%. It's all right.

SPEAKER_01 9:17

She's trying to act all like I'm in the I'm in the like um.

SPEAKER_00 9:20

I'm just me.

SPEAKER_01 9:21

She's trying to be like away from the media. It's like everything you do is in the media.

SPEAKER_00 9:29

Yeah, but that's when you know Mr. Like they sell out for anything. Yeah. Have you seen that Gwynniff Partreau stuff? I know. Awful. Oh cancel her now. Yeah, I never liked her though. No, neither did I, and I didn't expect that much more, but also it's just disgusting.

SPEAKER_01 9:45

Like your whole concept of goop is that, and then you go and do that.

SPEAKER_00 9:49

But also, like, obviously, not everyone at home might have heard, but basically, she came out saying she basically came out saying she chose that she does not care. Yeah, she's like, her husband really cares about loads of causes, but she's she called herself centralist, but it's not centralist to not care, and she was just like, but you know, I just don't care. She essentially said she doesn't care, and then she done an advert for Israel in these complexes, and you know that she came out and said she does she's centralist because she knew it was coming.

SPEAKER_01 10:20

Everything is pre-planned, and no one gets that because you see all the people. I know Hollywood people are like, and you're like, guys, everything is pre-planned.

SPEAKER_00 10:28

Like people, people like good friends of mine, and I say stuff about the Kardashians being the worst, and they're like the most like you know, Illuminati of all all Hollywood, and they're like, really? Do you think? Like, do you not? I mean, it's clear as day, it couldn't be clearer. They kind of tell you they are anyway. Yeah, they kind of tell you with their.

SPEAKER_01 10:55

Honestly, he's what his business is.

SPEAKER_00 10:57

Yeah, Kim Kardashian or Kim Fox.

SPEAKER_01 11:00

Yeah, he's just missing the Instagram.

SPEAKER_00 11:02

Kim Kardashian or Kim Fox.

SPEAKER_01 11:04

Oh, Kim Fox, anything. Kim Fox.

SPEAKER_00 11:07

That's what she yeah, exactly. She's the real influencer. She's a real influencer.

SPEAKER_01 11:13

And yeah, they were all over my TikTok, even though that's not my algorithm. Yeah, even though it's not my algorithm. And um, it's just like bizarre about it. Because he's like, she's so vain, and he's like worked his whole life like I know, but yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:28

I reckon she probably, when you're around her, does she does get them the boys, doesn't she? So I reckon you know, like all narcissists have a real good charm about them. She would have a good charm about her for sure.

SPEAKER_01 11:38

She's just dull though, she's actually dull.

SPEAKER_00 11:40

For sure, but like some men do like dull women because they just appease them, and some men love that, and also like you can there's so many men out there and women that like care as part of their image, but when you really get to the nitty-gritty, like, do they care? Lewis Hamlin don't don't give a fuck.

SPEAKER_01 11:56

No, he doesn't.

SPEAKER_00 11:57

It's just part of his image, yeah. Do you know what I mean? I love that we got from Ian Bill being arrested to hat Lewis Hamilton, who is obviously the natural route of progression.

SPEAKER_01 12:06

Totally, because obviously he's at Formula One, and Ian Bill can't even drive a car back in backing into kids.

SPEAKER_00 12:13

Neither can you.

SPEAKER_01 12:13

Neither can bother you.

SPEAKER_00 12:16

Um what do you think is your prediction? Oh no, I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_01 12:20

Um my prediction is that do you think it's gonna be in Jordan's gonna be in a wheelchair? That's gonna be so sad.

SPEAKER_00 12:26

No, we're gonna hear recovery.

SPEAKER_01 12:27

Recovery, because Denise has got a thing.

SPEAKER_00 12:29

Yeah, and then they would need an actor in a wheelchair. Which they would put in a wheelchair. I don't think you can do that in this day and age. You can't have disabled people representing this on the screen and not have disabled representation. I mean, disabled representation and not have disabled actors.

SPEAKER_01 12:44

Really? No, because like they can find a disabled kid though.

SPEAKER_00 12:47

No, they can, but then but then they have to change kid, which I suppose they can do.

SPEAKER_01 12:52

They could do that, but they change the kids all the time.

SPEAKER_00 12:56

Yeah, true, they do change kids.

SPEAKER_01 12:57

Do you not see um Nicola's baby? There's about ten different versions of that baby, so cute.

SPEAKER_00 13:01

But and also Jordan's not really been in it to be fair until now, so they could definitely change the kid. Um, but I think they've just done this for the Denise storyline. I don't think they've done it for this to be an ongoing thing.

SPEAKER_01 13:14

That would have been a good storyline though, anyway, if they did that to show how your life can change from accidents and things like that.

SPEAKER_00 13:20

For sure. I suppose that happened to Penny, but she wasn't in it at the time. Because, but like when you've got the another disabled representation on EastEnders, which is Janet, was disabled from birth, so it'd be good to show the transition about how a family adjusts to someone becoming disabled as opposed to how they adjust to having a disabled child.

SPEAKER_01 13:40

Like, I know someone that went blind at like 15. So they could see, yeah, then they went blind, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:46

Oh my god, that would be awful. Bless them.

SPEAKER_01 13:48

Life's not fucking fair.

SPEAKER_00 13:50

Life ain't fair, baby.

SPEAKER_01 13:51

But then there's beauty in things, but yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:54

Of course, there is beauty and things, but wow, that must be. Oh, I'm kind of rooting for that storyline. No, no, they're not doing that. No, I'm kind of into it.

SPEAKER_01 14:05

Because uh Chelsea's got a lot of guilt and she's gonna be it's my fault.

SPEAKER_00 14:08

And she said she wasn't very uh m maternal, and now she that would have to bring whole new love and other levels of maternal out in you if you ended up having to care for a disabled child as well.

SPEAKER_01 14:19

We love Chelsea.

SPEAKER_00 14:20

Yeah, I do love Chelsea.

SPEAKER_01 14:21

She's a great actress.

SPEAKER_00 14:22

I do. But yeah, what's your final duff duff? Know your unit! Know your units I don't have a fucking clue what mine are, but I don't really drink that much, do I?

SPEAKER_01 14:34

So oh, I wouldn't know what unit was from a fucking tree. Catch me on a night out.

SPEAKER_00 14:40

Catch me on a night out, get the butt spoke.

SPEAKER_01 14:44

That's six. Where's the three five five? We're sick of me home.

SPEAKER_00 14:49

Yeah, literally.

SPEAKER_01 14:50

Let us know what you think.

SPEAKER_00 14:51

Let us know how many units you there is in a tequila soda and lime.

SPEAKER_01 14:56

None.

SPEAKER_00 14:56

There we go.

SPEAKER_01 14:57

Yeah, none by my bit.

SPEAKER_00 14:59

Um, like, subscribe, comment down below. Really helps us. Um, and we'll see you next time. Jose Cueva, sponsor us.