If Healing Starts In The Body, Why Do We Keep Living In Our Heads?

What happens when your body calls the shots and your calendar refuses to cooperate? We open with early bleeds, extended cycles, and a crash course in surrender, then follow the thread into sovereignty, boundaries, and the quiet courage of letting the body lead. The surprises aren’t just hormonal—they’re spiritual, relational, and deeply practical.

We unpack how syncing and desyncing can mirror what life is asking from us, especially in the chaos of parenting. That rhythm pulled us toward a healthier masculine—structure that protects without controlling—and a steadier feminine—receptivity that holds power without collapse. We also get honest about language: choosing words like God, Jesus, Source, or Universe not to pander, but to translate, so meaning lands without losing our center. The real shift comes when we stop living only in our heads. We share moments from craniosacral and energy work where pain spiked before relief, showing how the nervous system integrates change when we stay present instead of bypassing with mindset alone.

From there, we move into boundaries with compassion. Ever used a headache to avoid saying no? We have. Clean no’s beat somatic workarounds every time. Triggers don’t disqualify us from being conscious; they invite clearer communication and community processing when it’s relational. We walk through memory work that repairs without erasing—meeting a younger self, adding care to the truth, and letting the body update from safety. The theme underneath it all is humility: less performance, more presence. Less reprogramming, more reverence for what’s real. If you’ve been craving grounded spirituality, somatic healing, and the courage to stop editing your story, you’ll feel right at home here.

Listen, share with a friend who needs embodied encouragement, and leave a review to help others find the show. If something resonated, tell us: where is your body leading you next?

Transcript

Cycles Arrive Early

Sisters 0:00

All right.

unknown 0:03

Okay.

Sisters 0:04

Welcome. Welcome. Welcome. To the Emergence Podcast with Ty and JD. Yay. It's been what? Two weeks. Oh. I think almost three weeks. Really? Yeah. We've been sick and PMSing.

unknown 0:20

Fuck.

Sisters 0:20

A lot of stuff. Period. Bleeding early. Yeah. 17 days early for her. For real. Wow. I honor her. But it was stupid. What what did you learn from it though? Um, it was I think it was more just a subtle shift of like she's wise. She is wise. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I wasn't expecting it to start until like March 1st because February was so short. And I wasn't expecting it at all. And then it came the day before Valentine's Day, the day before a busy day at the restaurant. Like as inconvenient as it could have been in my body and in my mind and all the things, I feel like it was more accepted and like just bodily awareness of like, okay, you know, do what you need to do.

SPEAKER_02 1:13

Yeah.

Sisters 1:13

Even though it was inconvenient.

SPEAKER_02 1:16

Yeah. So unexpected. Yeah.

Sisters 1:19

So it was good. It was fine. And it lasted longer than normal too, which was kind of strange. But again, it was like honoring that like whatever she needs released, she needed it now. She couldn't wait until March 1st. So I just let it be what it was. So and I guess also the realization that I don't need to know what it is all the time. Well, I thought it was interesting that we like thought we were syncing up because I started bleeding and I would have been nine days early, and then you full on started bleeding that night at three in the morning. Yeah. And then I stopped. Yeah. And and you said your period what lasted like nine days? Seven. Seven days. When usually it's four. Mine was four this time when mine's usually around seven to nine days. But now we're both in our follicular phase. So somehow we did kind of sync up a little bit. Mm-hmm. Yep. So I'm curious to see.

SPEAKER_00 2:18

I'm just observing how long this cycle will be.

Sisters 2:22

Yeah. Yeah. Like, was that our body's way because we're co-creators in like so I'm probably like on what day 14 of the cycle then? Yeah. Because it was the 13th and we're on the first now. Like I should be starting to period today. You're like late follicular phase now. Mm-hmm. Well almost ovulation. Yeah. Definitely. I'm like early follicular phase. Weird. It's interesting. It is. I've been trying to enact the same practice, not judging her because my cycle length is so long ever since baby number two. 35 days when it used to be like 28 days. So it almost feels like lack of a better word would be like torture. I feel like I've been my luteal phase for so long. And it feels like torture. But I'm just like it's a message. And I'm trying my hardest to just be with her and give her the reins to lead because I realized that she is mirroring the outside world of what I desire. Like I want stillness, but having a three-year-old and a one-year-old, it's not easy to find moments of stillness. I mean, I do, but it's like the whole, I'm going, I'm not going. We're gonna start, we're not gonna start. It was quite literally mirroring action, stillness. Right. Action, stillness. Right. And I was just like, hmm, interesting. So this last period before I even started, I was just laying in bed. Kids are jumping around.

SPEAKER_02 4:02

Hi, Willow.

Sisters 4:05

It's very talkative. I was I just was laying in bed talking to my womb, saying, I'm giving you the reins. Like, oh I feel like you're totally confirming me right now, buddy. Thank you. He was biting me last night. But I'm giving her the reins. Like, you lead. You lead, I'll follow. Yeah. I'm like, don't mirror the outside world. Be the mirror for the outside world. Right. And like something shifted. I could feel it in my womb, and I was like, whoo. And then four-day period, and I was like, whoa, yeah.

unknown 4:42

Yeah.

Sisters 4:43

It's like almost just like getting on the same page, but also almost like permission. Yeah. Like,

Syncing, Phases, And Body Acceptance

Sisters 4:50

because I mean, living life when we're, you know, the world is happening to us, type of energy. We it's like victimhood. But when we allow sovereignty. Yeah. It's when you make that shift from, you know, my body will tell me what I need instead of my mind's going to tell my body what to do. But don't work like that. And the faster that I think women and maybe men too probably learn that. Imagine the world. Yeah. The reflection coming back at us after we come into alignment with like honoring the body first.

SPEAKER_00 5:27

Yeah.

Sisters 5:28

Spiritual second.

SPEAKER_00 5:30

Because the spiritual, it's like the guide, right?

Sisters 5:32

Your spiritual self is guiding, but your body is the messenger. It's the one receiving the information. Well, and just like the whole experience we had with that mutual acquaintance. Oh, yeah. 100%. And how that mirrors this right now? That just keeps coming into my awareness. I'm like, wow. We were participating in her pattern. Oh yeah. And maybe even mirroring it a little bit. But this time around, we observed it and we disengaged and like removed ourselves from the pattern. Yeah. Like totally honored, like, this is yours. I'm not participating in it. Participating in it anymore. Anymore. Yeah. And that's the thing too, is like anymore.

SPEAKER_00 6:20

Anymore. You know, there there's this, you know, benefit of the doubt that you give friends.

Sisters 6:27

I mean, especially for me in this case, is like I've known her for a long time.

Jadi 6:30

Yeah.

Sisters 6:31

I've been acquaintance with her for a long time. I wouldn't even say we're like good friends, but she is my friend. She was my friend. Like, and it was always just a weaving in and out of each other's lives. And I was cool with it. And you always honored that. Always. But then it became a little bit more there was there was another underlying thing that was coming through the digital space.

Jadi 6:56

Yeah.

Sisters 6:56

Her energy coming through. And it was like, I don't know if I'm perceiving this correctly. And then coming to the conclusion that I was perceiving it correctly. And it felt icky and it felt like a very weird, vicious loop. Yeah. And then I was like, okay, I don't want to play myself. I don't want to play anymore. Like definitely. Whereas before digital and stuff, it was just, hey, how are you? And like it was good. And now it just seems very layered in something else. Something bigger. And I do wonder if you know current events in her life are also part of this most recent repeating of that pattern. The marrying of the collective to the personal. Right. Because it hit her personally. Yeah. So I don't know. Yeah. I don't know. It's interesting though. Anything else come up in this cycle for you? This short cycle. Fuck for real. Um, I don't think so. Not anything that really stands out. No. I mean, I feel like I've just been very observant.

Jadi 8:09

Yeah.

Sisters 8:11

Witnessing a lot and not really engaging or like taking things personally or anything like that. So it's good. Which is good. Yeah. I feel like this cycle for me played into my previous cycle where I told, I shared a little bit last podcast about how I'm kind of integrating past a past version of myself and like these situations and people and experiences are coming into my reality to just be seen. Like to not place meaning on them. But I've just noticed a lot of things coming up coming up in my body, up for just solely closure. Like the book is closed. Yeah. That the ending. It's like here. Yeah. It feels so complete, and I've never reached a place. Especially with that specific version of myself. It's coming to closure. And it's like a peaceful one. Yeah. Like really proud of her and the gifts that she has. Like I take those in, but I'm transmuting the shadows that she was holding that she didn't know she was holding. And just moving forward just with more clarity. Well, and less baggage. And yeah, way less baggage. And my body feels it. Yeah. That's good. It really does. Yeah. I'm excited to see if any clarity comes about anything about this past cycle. It's still open. Like to whatever may come through will come through. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:47

So what else do we want to chat about?

SPEAKER_01 10:04

My jaw feels weird.

Sisters 10:08

Like it wants to say something, but I don't know what.

SPEAKER_02 10:19

We have a lurker.

Sisters 10:22

A lurker? Hey girl. What are you doing? Watching us, listening. As long as you're quiet, you can sit right there, okay?

Jadi 10:39

Okay.

Sisters 10:48

It's interesting to see how the people in my life, and myself included, are navigating, exploring the masculine and feminine energies. Oh, for sure. It's something I'm observing and letting emotions come up because it's not always how like the way one person needs to express that energy is not necessarily how I would express it.

SPEAKER_00 11:18

Right.

Sisters 11:19

And it's interesting to watch and like watch from a place of acceptance or openness, not judgment or shame. Just like letting them

Stillness, Motherhood, And Letting The Womb Lead

Sisters 11:30

intuitively lead themselves. That's been a big one. Because I feel like my masculine's been coming online. But like my healthy masculine, not the like dominating control. Like, I feel like the identity death that I've been going through this past year has been solely focused on like dismantling really toxic masculine structures within my being. And these new masculine structures are coming in that are like the masculine can be soft and structured. Like I'm getting a whole new perspective on just the masculine and the feminine energies. Like some things that are labeled feminine in my mind are really masculine. Right. And vice versa, too. Like there's a feminine strength and a masculine strength. And are we like are we doing a disservice to the masculine and feminine by laby labeling them something separate?

SPEAKER_00 12:28

Amara, can you not do that, please?

Sisters 12:31

You know what I mean? Yeah. I know what you mean. Like they, I mean, with true union of both, it's not one dominating over the other at any given point. Right. And like um, Anna was over at my house this week, and we were just chatting about certain things, all sorts of things. We touched on personal, we touched on um collective, and then we started talking about like Jesus, and she um was like, I've kind of come home come home to a place where I can like accept that. And I was like, I was like, what was missing for you? And I was like, I want to hear what you have to say, but like I want to know if it's the similar thing because this last year, like the name Jesus Christ used to just like repulse me. Like I would just be like, embrace. But it was more like religious conditioning that would do that. After I stripped all of that down and like really started to connect to just the being, I realized that the thing that was repulse repulsive was because he was missing his counterpart. He was missing the feminine counterpart. And when when I started accepting both the masculine and feminine aspect of you know, this specific deity or god or goddess, yeah, that's when the repulsion like lifted went away. Because the counterpart was there, yeah. And not like acknowledged. Yeah, totally, yeah, for sure. I like that. I don't think I've ever been like repulsed by it, that name. Or like, I don't know. I don't remember ever going through anything like that, even when stepping away from like religion and the church and stuff like that. Like, I don't know. I had weird experiences though with Jesus Christ, I guess. Like what like um like when The Passion of the Christ came out, that movie. Oh, oh yeah, I remember watching that. Well, it was just strange because like me and my parents went, we went to go see it in theaters, and it's in like Hebrew, right? And there's English subtitles, but it was not for me. It was in English. I did not read any subtitles. So years later, when I went to I like rented it or something, um I was watching and I was just like reading the subtitles because it was in Hebrew with English subtitles, and I was just like, What is happening? Like, this is not how I remember it at all, you know. And I even remember calling dad and being like, when we went to the movie, like and watched this, it was in English, right? And he was like, No, it was in Hebrew, and like how wild. I know that's really cool. I've never heard that story before. That's really fucking cool. You need to move.

SPEAKER_00 15:32

I love that you're in here, and that and I told you you could sit over there, and you're no longer sitting over there, so now you can leave because we're videoing, and now you're in the video.

Sisters 15:47

Amara. Okay. You either go sit quietly or you go play. Love you. Okay. That's really cool. I know. It's a really cool situation. What did you cut like what did you pull from that? Um, I I mean, I was what, 12, 13 or something when that movie came out, and it was only until later, and maybe that's why I was never felt like repulsed by it, because there was like a deeper connection. That's cool. And that wasn't in like a religious church setting that that happened. It's like at your the movie theater downtown, you know. Like that's super cool. But I don't know. Yeah. Like it spoke to me in the way that it knew I needed to hear it. I think my repulsion comes from other people's perceptions of God. Like, no, for sure. When I speak of God or Jesus Christ, I just know it's being filtered through their lens. Their own knowing. And like, I'm not at all saying you're wrong. But mine feels more in alignment. And so I always refrained from talking about spiritual stuff or like certain people around certain people who were like diehard religious because they have their own filters and perceptions that just don't align with what I know God to be. Well, and to think that any philosophical, you know, teaching is that exactly. It's whatever they feel most alignment with, and it's gonna be that's how they see it, and that's how they're gonna speak about it. I was talking to Andrew the other day about it because he's like, I, you know, I talk to people about stuff, but sometimes it's just like you get that feeling around certain people that you can't can't bring up like the universe or anything like that. And it's like, well, then change the wording. I mean, if you know, like, and that's how I am. Like, if I know what I'm talking about in reference to like when I say God or Jesus, and I know what that means to me, it shouldn't matter. But if I'm trying to get across a certain message or like a belief God, Jesus lands better than

Patterns, Boundaries, And Disengaging From Drama

Sisters 18:00

it's lands better than universe or source or whatever, and that's okay with me because I have such solid belief and faith that I know what it is, but to them it's this. Yeah, it's more expansive. And so if I want them to be more receptive to what I have to say, yeah, I gotta shift how I say it. And I'm okay with that. Some people aren't though. Why would I filter, you know? Right. And and that's honorable too. Like totally. But I'm also Gemini, Mercury, Venus, and all these things. So the communication is like a big key for me. But I've always been told I'm a good communicator. You are probably because I can shift and adapt to certain lenses of things that make it land more easily. I made I think I just had a real vision. I think I'm Gemini Mercury too. Well, it makes me wonder if that's also a reason why sometimes when I work so hard to come across kind and caring and like and when it's not received well, it's like, god damn. Like I worked so hard. Yeah. Yeah. Well then it's well, then when those situations come up, you kind of want to be like, why am I working so hard? Right. If it's like what's the point of exerting that energy if I exert the energy and it still doesn't land in a good way in your body? Like that's your stuff to work through, not mine. Right. Yep. That's interesting for sure. I mean, I think everyone, uh especially a Gemini. I think the Gemini's worst fear is probably being misunderstood. And I have a Gemini stylum, so that's fun. Yeah. But I also have come, I feel like I'm in a place where I'm like okay with being misunderstood.

SPEAKER_02 19:40

Yeah.

Sisters 19:41

And I'm okay with like diversity of beliefs. Like you can believe whatever you want, but it's not gonna change how I feel about my own belief.

SPEAKER_00 19:52

And maybe it will.

Sisters 19:53

And maybe Because I am open-minded enough to hear you out. Yep. But again, it's also how it's delivered where most people get like caught up. They don't want to have open conversations because it can shake the foundation of your beliefs. Oh, for sure. And that's a scary thing. Especially if your beliefs are a part of your identity. Yeah, yeah. That's why I don't like politics. Yeah. Too many people identify with their politics. So much. So much that it rips families and friendships apart, and it's like it shouldn't be that serious. Yeah. Yep. Your identity should not be interlinked with your political beliefs. Oh, agreed. And if you're listening to this and have that, go think about that. Or comment about it, and we'll talk about it next time. That's a good topic, though. It really is, because fuck, even like identifying with spiritual titles. And I mean, we I we know a few people, I'm at least I do in my life, that have taken like guru to heart and their spiritual practice, but that's not like genuinely embodied in a like authentic way. And so you people who can feel the shallow and the dissonance. Yeah. Even on like TikTok, when I'm listening to like random spiritual people will pop up on my page, and I can immediately tell whether or not they are an embodied practitioner. Or if it's a mismatch of energy. Yeah. Or if they're just speaking but not anchoring. Yeah. You know. And that's what like a lot of my series lately have been about is the chakras. Like if you're just up in the high, higher chakras, you're an illusion. You're in bypass mode. You're and unfortunately, I think people are more susceptible to manipulation when they're just up here. Oh, for sure. Because if you're not filling in your body, which is your warning system. Yeah. Yeah. You're missing the warning. Yeah. Yeah. I love that. And I think that kind of goes into the conversation yesterday about the like mind rewiring stuff. Mm-hmm. Because if you're solely based on just mind rewiring rewiring, where's somatics coming that? Where's the anchoring of your system and like the nervous system being like, hey, this is a red flag?

Jadi 22:12

Yeah.

Sisters 22:13

It's being bypassed. It's being bypassed completely. And it's very, very disheartening. Yeah. And I I'm not gonna lie, like when I probably first awakened to all the different things and kind of started going down different paths and learning as much as I could about all different types of pantheons and religions and philosophies and all of the things, it's like it's for a Gemini, it's a lot of mental wisdom, right? Knowledge coming in, coming in, coming in. And then I'm I believe there was a point, not at the beginning, it was very much I was in like what's the word I'm looking for, consume mode, right? Your past capacity. Yeah, but also I wasn't embodying any of it. I was just gathering data and information. And then once you start putting things into practice or into like embodiment, it changes and the beliefs shift from there.

Jadi 23:16

Yeah.

Sisters 23:16

Then you can say, like, okay, this doesn't really match what feels in alignment bodily in in here. Right. And so I think it's the process of the awakening. It is. I would say is like an uncle times when I'm like, all research, all let's find out, let's collect data, and then there's like a step back across the solution of certain things. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. So, but I think it's a natural state. Just don't stay there. Yeah. Embody what you practice and see if it truly is something in that line. It just doesn't, it's not something that just sounds appealing. I mean, I've worked, I just realized this. Um I've worked on certain people with cranial sacral therapy. And I think the spinal fluid is so telling to whether they're living in their head or living in their body in their body, or if it's a balance. Because literally, like our spinal fluid, natural rhythm goes down like all the way to our sacrum, back up to our brain, and it comes. And I like I can recall. It's so funny that I'm like recalling this right now because this was years ago. I had um a person on my table, and it was like it was like cut off at the throat. Yep. And she never came back. She never came back and did another cranial sacral session with me. And I think I know why. Because she didn't want to be embodied.

Jadi 24:55

Yeah.

Sisters 24:55

And I I I really remember like I barely was able to coax or like guide it, guide it to her heart. Yeah. Past that point, it was like it just kept getting there's a big wall there. Yeah, definitely. Interesting. And that's the thing about I think just human nature and like survival tactics is if we're not in the body, we don't feel the suffering or the pain. How do you heal? How do you how are you healing then? Yeah. You can't heal just mentally. Yep. You can't think your way out of it. You can't think your way through healing. No. The only

Masculine And Feminine Rebalanced

Sisters 25:30

I you know, I always remember that quote, like, the only way out is through. And it's not logically through. Like you can't logically just think your way through the trauma. It is through. Yep. Here, the whole body. And that's another like it's just interesting. There's just so many different um cultures, so many different ways people like label it. It's like the Kundalini Awakening, but it's like it starts down down here. You know?

SPEAKER_02 26:00

Yep. Are you wearing lipstick? Okay. Heck yeah, girl. Can you go downstairs, please? We'll be done soon. We'll be done soon. Oh no wanna sit. Then go sit down. I'll sit by.

Jadi 26:20

I'll sit by you.

Sisters 26:22

Should lock the door. Um it makes me think of, let's see, the I can't even remember what like system it is, but the triangle of healing or spirituality, and then like how it's empathetic. It's reverted. Yeah. So there's not human design. No, it's something else. And I can't remember. Yeah, but isn't that how human design is? Maybe. There's a there's a so I don't know a lot about human design. So well, when you think of like disease, right? Disease in the body isn't just a physical symptom. It's an it's a visual representation or physical representation of energetic dissonance. So you look at like the the energetics here, and then it comes outward into a physical form, right? And then healing, I think, is the reverse of that. Starting on moving through the emotions on a physical level and then letting the energies align with the physical body. Yeah. Yeah. So it's just like the way the way disease kind of evolves into actual disease is like reverse engineering it is that healing process. And people don't like feeling the physical. They don't. I'm remembering so many sessions right now. I had another lady on my table forever ago. It was a free session. She had won it at like one of the raffles we did at Sacred Sisters. Okay. And I remember like she had really, really terrible spinal issues. And I was literally just doing um energy work. That's it. I did a little bit of cranial sacral therapy as well, but I remember like seeing in my mind's eye stop her, there's her physical, her emotional body, and her energetic body was off-center. Okay. It was literally not in alignment. And what is the spine for? Alignment. Like the emotional and energetic body was off. So I was like inviting it, not forcing it, inviting it to just slowly shift. And she started having the worst lower back pain. She was bawling and she's like, I can't, I can't, I'm done. And I was like, okay, okay. And I just kind of like affirmed her. I'm like, sometimes it gets worse before it gets better. Sometimes the pain wants to be loud, like in your face. Why have you been ignoring me? Loud.

SPEAKER_02 28:59

Yeah.

Sisters 29:00

And then all of a sudden there's a breakthrough and ease. Because isn't that how the process goes? It's it's painful when it's like first brought into your awareness, or it can be. It's not always. It's depending on like, I guess it just depends on the situation. The velocity of in which it comes. Right. Right. But there's always that, and then it comes to, I mean, what's the next step? Just like acceptance, surrender. Acknowledgement. So acknowledgement, probably acceptance, I would say. Yeah. And like, I mean, if you look at like Till Swan's the completion process, you have like the awareness of it, the acknowledgement of it, the validating it. Yep. The, you know, there's a whole process of this is the feeling, and now I'm gonna, I'm aware of you, I acknowledge you, I validate you, I apologize, gain that trust back and integration. Yep. And then the integration happens, and that's when like the clarity hits and the ease comes. Yeah. And almost like hindsight, that hindsight, like, oh that wasn't that bad. Even though even though in it felt bad for sure. Yeah, that actually reminded me of my birth with silver right after it. So birthed her in the bathroom, right? And I when I was squatting and birthing her, I did something to my lower back. Like I tweaked something, or like just in the midst of giving birth to a human child, something got knocked out in my physical body. Yeah. And I remember like laying the next day, and this is when I, you know, I was doing like my Reiki practitioner courses, and I was like getting certified and all these things. And so I was a part of a Facebook group of like collective Reiki for each other, yeah and asking and offering services via like distance Reiki and stuff. And so I pulled up that group and I went in there and I told them the story, and I said, just collectively like send me Reiki, you know. And I remember the most excruciating pain. Like it was fine. It got to a point that it was so excruciating that Andrew was like, Do I need to take you to the hospital? Because something's not right. Like it's I've never seen you in this much pain. Right. Like it was so painful. And I remember crying, and I cried myself to sleep, and when I woke up, the pain was absolutely gone. No. And I was in alignment again. Like I felt aligned. Yeah. But it was collectively all these people sending me energy healing. So I get it. It's okay. I get her. Like, yeah, that pain is like and like not wanting to go through it. No, I thought, and I literally was like, I don't know what to do. Like, it's so sad though. Like, I I sit down. I can recall this person. Like, she's experienced so much grief in her life. So, like, I understand why you wouldn't want to go through physical pain. Well, for sure. It's like, but if you can go through the emotional loss of losing so many people that you love, will you please stop? Because guess what? We have these microphones, and every time you move, it's picking up your sound. Go sit down by the door, girl. Or I'm gonna ask you to leave. If you hear anything, she's like crawling through a mine. But I do get why this specific person didn't want to go through that physical pain. So it was grief was the root. Um yes and no. I think it was more layered than that.

SPEAKER_00 32:38

Yeah.

Sisters 32:39

I think it was grief and just like inability to take ownership. You know, some people, it's easier to say I'm hurting, I can't do this instead of standing in your power and just saying, no, I don't want to do this. Right. Does that make sense? And I I mean, I by no means.

SPEAKER_00 33:05

You can walk out of here right now. I'm not even joking. Five. Four. Three. Two. Shut the door.

Language, Faith, And Filters

SPEAKER_00 33:21

One. All the way, girl.

Sisters 33:26

Thank you. She's starting to like harass the cat. I have to protect him at all costs. No, poor guy. Seriously. Yeah. No, I get that though. And I I like I don't know. I I no means want to like invalidate anybody's like physical pain, but sometimes it's like an excuse to just say what say no.

SPEAKER_02 33:52

Yeah.

Sisters 33:53

Instead of standing in your power and saying no for no reason. Not because I'm like not justifying me or like literally, it's just no. No. No explanation. Yep. Yeah. No, I get that. Well, and that's just rooted in other things like codependency and people pleasing.

SPEAKER_01 34:13

Yeah.

Sisters 34:14

I've been there.

SPEAKER_01 34:14

Yeah.

Sisters 34:15

I mean, yeah, for sure. I mean, I feel like I've manifested like migraines and headaches in order to not do something because I literally can't say physically couldn't say no at the time. Like now my body's like, no, you're not going because you have a migraine, you can't go. Exactly. Yeah. Now I say no. Yeah. But look at the pyramid there. Yeah. It manifested in a literal something element, physical feeling. Because energetically and emotionally you couldn't say something. Yeah. It's crazy. Our bodies are powerful and very divinely just intuitive. They're intuitive. They they speak what you don't say out loud. Yes. And their speaking language is ailments and disease.

SPEAKER_01 35:03

But also harmony.

Sisters 35:04

Yeah. And I've always been so like pulled to like studying body language. And I really should, just because I want to be able to decipher people.

SPEAKER_01 35:11

Yeah. I want to be able to be like, bullshit. Yeah. You did something. You covered your throat. Because there's like so many tells that we just naturally do.

Sisters 35:26

I do this. I catch myself doing that sometimes, and I'm like, wait, you're covering your throat. Like, give yourself room to take up studying all of the little marks on your face.

Jadi 35:37

Yeah.

Sisters 35:38

My jaw is still my jaw is still hurting right now, and I don't know why. I'm just trying to observe it. I'm talking. Yeah. Should I not be talking? What does it feel like? It just feels like like at the hinge. Hmm. Like at the hinge, it's not that something wants to come out, but maybe I don't know. It just is achy. Like like almost like I've been but I haven't been bracing my hand. So I might maybe. But if I might put from like extracurriculars. Oh that that morning I was like, oh that it hurts. I don't know. Okay. It might be that, maybe. I don't know. It's sweaty. I don't think I haven't been like saying anything that I don't want to say. Or like refraining from speaking any truth. No same. I feel like I've been really doing great with just like saying what I mean in the moment and not letting things be filtering. Be filtered or not letting it build up and then come out like in passive ways like I have in the past. Because I have a tendency to do that. I'll just like hold it in, hold it in, and then it just like slips out in passive aggressiveness. And I'm like, that's not how I wanted that to come out. Yeah. But like it wouldn't have come out that way if you would have just expressed in the first place. Yeah. The annoyance or discomfort. Yeah. When it first came up. Yeah. I also think there's like a misguided unspoken rule in spiritual healing of like, you know, if I'm triggered, it's my responsibility. Yeah, it is. But it's also your responsibility to just speak it. Like, why does it have to be just something you have to work through on your own quietly? Oh yeah. Because sometimes I mean, sometimes it is just, you know, in my the privacy of my own own home, journaling something and and work processing through it. Yeah. But sometimes it's interrelational. Like it's it's having to do with someone else. And if that person can be processed with that person. Yeah. Like, you know what I mean? Yeah. So 100%. Because and I think that's another thing of like, it's hard to say no to people because I do my healing on my own. But sometimes you have to do healing in community and with other people. And that's even more uncomfortable than just facing yourself. Well, 100%. Sometimes I don't even know. I mean, my body is so good at just like processing in time. But then when something comes up relationally speaking, and it's brought up between me and that person, all of a sudden it's invoking emotions that I didn't even know were there. And I'm like, what's happening? What like it's like a whole different thing. I wasn't feeling this in the solitude. Like, why is it coming up? Yeah. Now that we're sharing the field, which is interesting.

SPEAKER_02 38:55

Yeah.

Sisters 38:58

I think it's supposed to be that way. We are meant to invoke those things in people. People have become so fragile. Well, and if you think about just the basis of like creation itself. And I mean, depending on what your beliefs are, like if creation itself is these many different aspects of that self, of creation itself, and they're just mirroring to each other, you know, its counterparts in every single being. That's that might be why that feeling comes up when it's like in person, because it's you meeting you. It's creation meeting the creator, right? Right. You know? Does that make sense? A little bit. Okay. I like saw in my mind, like and like, I don't know. I see you. Okay. Do you see us? Do you know what we're doing? Do you know what I'm talking about? We're picking up what we're putting down. It's like a whole, I don't know. I always experienced it like consciousness is up here, you know, creation is here. And then like all of us are like these threads, right? And we weave in and out of each other's lives, creating the web of life.

Jadi 40:12

Yeah.

Sisters 40:12

But it's like they're all soul is like I like the octopus analogy. It's easier for me to understand. Like the head is collective consciousness, and then each tentacle is alive, is an expression of that. Yeah. Right. And the whole purpose of that creation is like it wanted to know itself. But how can it know itself unless it has multiple different perspectives of self and of life and of environment and of world? Yeah. You know. And that's why it's so diverse and beautiful, because it's like this person over here and this person over here are experiencing total different worlds, like, say, on this country and this country. And it's all just an expression of the same source. Yeah. Yeah, you I think that's why it's so hard, or at least for me personally,

Embodiment Over Bypass

Sisters 41:00

to like really despise another human being. Like I don't think I've ever really met another human being that I could just be like, I hate you. Like I see a divine thread in every single person.

SPEAKER_02 41:16

Yeah.

Sisters 41:16

Every single piece person, even the people that are evil. It comes back to like the I always come home to that little soul in the sun.

SPEAKER_02 41:26

What is it teaching me?

Sisters 41:28

Yeah. What did they they had to sacrifice the harmony and love and truth and peace to be evil? To teach me what that means. What? Patience, discernment. It's a good one. I think it's a hard one to swallow though. Yeah. Because I mean, most It's easy to say you're a bad guy, you're a good guy. It's easy to look at the world in black and white, but there's so much nuance. It's gray guys. Well, and that's like listening to people talk about their trauma. Like, you know, I've spent this many years in prison because of the shit that I did, but I that the I understand that I did that shit because of the shit that was done to me. Right. And you're just like, fuck, you were a child too. Mm-hmm. Like a pure innocent child. You were harmed. Child. Yeah. No one protected your innocence. And that pattern continued with you. Yep. Yeah. So I get it. Yeah. I get it too. It's just hard sometimes.

Jadi 42:23

Yeah.

Sisters 42:23

I mean, and I think it hurts more when it's more personally related. Oh yeah. Like we can say that about, you know, serial killers that we don't know or murderers that we don't know, but when it's someone personally. And I think that's why when personal something happens in our personal relational field, it hurts more because we probably expected more from them. You expect the same. I think for me, I expect the same that I would give. Yeah. No, for real. Yeah. But nobody, it's like, and I don't say this in like a I have more awareness, but like I do have a grand amount of awareness, and I do have the tools of self-reflection. And not everybody does. Like and maybe that's what they came here to experience was a lack of awareness and lack of self-reflection. I don't know. Ignorance. Ignorance. Maybe that's their path. Well, and what's their ignorance? Ignorance showing us and teaching us to appreciate our awareness. Yeah. Or to be like, fuck, I chose wrong. No, I'm not sure. I know. Sometimes it would be easier to be unaware. Not be aware of everything. But the thing is, is once you know, you can't unknow. Yeah. As much as you would like to not know what you know. There's no going back. And there's also no changing it for others. Like it's a person, it's so personal. I hated that phase of my journey. It sucks. I hated that specific phase of learning that I can't do the work for someone else. No. I mean, my previous relationship, I remember going into like, and this was pre-embodiment. Like this was before I was in my body. I was just in the ethers collecting data. Yeah. I mean, I was on a lot of acid during that time as well. But I just like I was so disconnected from my body back then. And I remember being in the ethers and doing like spiritual work on in behalf, like on behalf of him. Yeah. And I just was like, wow, I've never done that with DJ, with my husband. No. Cause he does his own work. Because he does his own work. And maybe we'll do like co-do stuff together. But like I would do stuff with my ex without him knowing. So do you feel like it was for selfish reasons? Probably, because I was trying to push his push him to reach the potential that I saw in him.

Jadi 44:59

Yeah.

Sisters 44:59

And that's not fair. No. And it wasn't my responsibility. I took on way too much responsibility for his growth. Yeah. And how detrimental to your own. Mm-hmm. Oh, so yeah. I often wonder, I'm like, how wise would I be right now if I just had left him when the first thought entered my mind? But then again, it taught you a lot. It taught me a lot. And you are who you are because of all of that too. It's a part of your story. Yep. I get that. Something I would not want to erase.

SPEAKER_01 45:34

Or re or reprogram. Like, I just, why would you want to erase who you are?

SPEAKER_00 45:43

Any part of it.

SPEAKER_01 45:45

That's just my job feels better now.

Sisters 45:51

Dude, you know she's gonna be listening to this. I know. It's so weird. It's fine. It's fine. Oh, God. No, but seriously. Stop reprogramming yourself. Fuck and accept who you are. All of you. Well, and also it just brought up that whole point. I I've realized that I say also it reminds me of a lot this episode. Like every time I open my mouth, I'm like, I said that again. What does it remind you of? It reminds me of just the fact that if you look at like spiritual spirituality 101 is the one thing that we're trying to unearth and move through is suppressed emotions slash memories. Yep. And what we're talking about is the rewriting and erase erasure of said memories, of said self, of said experience. And that is oppression. That's suppression. You're suppressing just more. Yeah. You know, there's so as much as you think you're doing the work, you're not. Yeah. There was one situation where I, I guess you could say altered a memory, but I didn't because I know realistically what happened. Right. But it's like I removed, I don't know. It was when I was microdosing. I literally just microdosed like three or four days. Yeah. And my intention was because I was having these debilitating panic attacks.

Jadi 47:22

Right.

Sisters 47:23

And the day I took my first microdose, I was like talking to the mushrooms, being like, hey, be soft with me. Because again, I have a history with hallucinogenics and abusing them. So I was like, be soft with me, be gentle. Like I am fearful of this experience. So just be gentle. Um, divinely, mom and dad come over. They start talking about when we were visiting our older brother in California and how I got lost on a beach by myself and was literally, I don't even know how long, wandering in a state that I've never been in on a beach filled with people alone. And I was young. Yeah. And I was panicking. That was the first time I had panic attacks. These panic attacks I was having now were being triggered when I was alone. And it was all very divine. But I went into a meditation and she just like she got wafted by the waves away from the family. Like I was just playing just on the shoreline. And every time the wave came up, it just moved me a little bit away. And I was like, So it was very subtle. It was very subtle. And so in the meditation, I walked up to her as my adult self and I said, Hey, you've kind of been pushed away from your family. Can I walk you home? So she wasn't alone in that. Did I erase the memory? No. You know the truth of it. I know the truth of what happened, but ever since I did that, it might something in my subconscious accepted that and integrated it as we weren't alone. Yes. But I didn't like logically rewrite over anything. I didn't rewrite over anything.

SPEAKER_00 49:01

You basically just honored what she went through.

Sisters 49:04

Yeah, and you sent in guidance home. Yeah. Guidance home without being alone. Mm-hmm. And without forgetting. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 49:13

Yeah.

Sisters 49:14

And since then, like after that, no more panic attacks being triggered by being alone. Yeah. That reminds me of all Jesse's like meditation when she saw Brooks on the beach. Shit. Was Brooks there? Yeah. Interesting.

Pain, Somatics, And Real Integration

Sisters 49:30

I don't know. I can't remember where he was. Yeah. But I'm assuming Long Beach somewhere. Yeah, he was in Long Beach, but like during that memory specifically, I don't know where he was. Yeah. Because I remember mom finding me. Right. Because she was freaking out. Oh, I'm sure. Yeah. But I don't know where Brooks was. Probably with the But you guys went there to go see him specifically because he was living in Long Beach at that time.

Jadi 49:55

Yeah.

Sisters 49:55

And I believe if if I'm correct, it's interesting. When he was living in Long Beach, I was living in Hollywood at that time. Yep. And I don't know. I'll have to ask mom and dad about that trip. What were they? Were they there specifically for him, or did they because there were times when I went down to Long Beach to go not see him, but do stuff on his behalf because he's a dumbass. Yeah. It's funny. I remember Dayton was little little. Like. And I just realized this mirroring of that. Um obviously Brooks and Maya weren't the greatest of parents. Um they would just leave her in her crib alone to cry. Scream. And she screamed. Oh yeah. You remember. She had a set of lungs on her. Yes. And I now she's a cheerleader. I just like wonder. Yeah. Like her being alone. Me being alone. Somehow nearer to each other in that during that specific like tribe. Yeah. For sure. Totten to contemplate. Does your jaw still hurt?

SPEAKER_00 51:08

No.

Sisters 51:09

It really did go away. It really did go away when I said that. Maybe because she needs to hear it. Healing's fun. Like.

SPEAKER_02 51:21

I don't know. Healing's fun. I think it's more of just like humble. There needs to be some humbleness. Yeah. With a lot of things.

Sisters 51:37

Not always. I mean, I don't think I'm like egoic in certain things, but I don't think you are either. I try not to be. I mean, I try to keep things in check. And I know when my ego serves a purpose, and I know like I honor her when she does come forth. And there's usually like really good reason why she comes forth. You know? But there's just some people I'm like, just want to shake you and be like, dude. Like, do you hear yourself? Like, just imagine talking to like your childhood self like this. Right. That would be a whole new level of like wounding on something because it's dismissive. It's um it's very condescending. It's very uh hierarchy feeling. And it's just it's icky. It's so icky.

Jadi 52:28

Yeah.

Sisters 52:29

It's like intentionally trying to make people feel small in their own journey and in their own healing and growth. And that's not yours to judge in any way, shape, or form. So keep rewriting your mem your memories, I guess. Right. It's your journey. I think that's a good place to end. Yeah, thank you. It's your journey, it's my journey. Emerge with love. Yeah. Be humble. Just enjoy this life and live it fully. Even the broken, messy parts of you. They don't need to be erased in order for it to be a fulfilling life. No. They deserve to be seen for sure. They're worthy of being loved. They're worthy of just being there for it. Like you don't have to change it or mimic any type of big transformation it went through. Like just be with yourself. Yeah. In the most loving way.

SPEAKER_02 53:28

So anyways. All right. Goodbye, guys. Bye.