The Mothering Project

Trying to Be Everything to Everyone | With Ready Or Not

• Christina Byrne • Season 2 • Episode 21

Share episode

Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.

0:00 | 56:01

Send us Fan Mail


The Mothering Project | Ready Or Not


What happens when you put three mums behind the microphone and give them permission to be completely honest? ( We all talk at once ;) ) 

In this episode, I am joined by Lucinda and Lauren from Ready Or Not for a funny, heartfelt and refreshingly real conversation about motherhood, work, identity and the invisible mental load so many women carry every single day.

Together, we unpack the constant tension between ambition and parenting, the pressure to "do it all," and why motherhood often feels less like balance and more like an ongoing negotiation. From school apps and WhatsApp groups to careers, relationships and finding yourself again, this conversation will leave you feeling seen, understood and a little less alone.

If you've ever wondered whether everyone else has somehow figured motherhood out better than you… this episode is for you.

In this episode we explore

  • The identity shift that comes with becoming a mother
  • Why motherhood can make you feel stronger and more vulnerable at the same time
  • The reality of juggling careers, children and trying to find time for yourself
  • How Ready Or Not grew from a small idea into a trusted parenting community
  • The role social media can play in creating genuine connection
  • The invisible mental load of school admin, appointments and family logistics
  • Practical ways to lighten the load, including shared calendars, asking for help and embracing "done is better than perfect"
  • Why friendships with other mums become even more valuable as children grow
  • Navigating your relationship with your partner through the busy parenting years
  • Why every season of motherhood asks something different of us

Key takeaways

  • There is no perfect formula for balancing work and motherhood.
  • Letting go of perfection creates more space for what truly matters.
  • Sharing the mental load isn't a luxury—it's essential.
  • Community makes motherhood lighter.
  • Every stage of parenting is temporary, even when it doesn't feel like it.

Memorable moments

"If you don't change it, you choose it."

"Done is better than perfect."

Plus...

  • The hilarious conversation about school apps, WhatsApp groups and the invisible administration of parenting.
  • An honest discussion about ambition, burnout and why switching off isn't always easy.
  • A playful debate about what "having it all" really means.

Mentioned in this episode

  • Ready Or Not Podcast
  • The Mothering Project
  • Shared family calendars and practical planning tools
  • Parenting experts and support networks
  • Irish roots, Cork, family traditions and nostalgia

This episode is for you if...

  • You're balancing work and motherhood.
  • The mental load feels overwhelming.
  • You're trying to rediscover who you are after becoming a parent.
  • You love honest, funny conversations that don't pretend motherhood is perfect.
  • You need a reminder that you're not the only one figuring it out as you go.

Episode theme

Motherhood is messy, beautiful, exhausting and transformative. This conversation reminds us that none of us are meant to carry it all alone—and sometimes the greatest comfort comes from hearing another mum say, "Me too."

Find them over here https://www.instagram.com/readyornot.pod/

Me: https://www.instagram.com/the_mothering_project/

Sign up to my newsletter here : 

https://www.christina-byrne.com/


SPEAKER_01

Good morning and welcome back to the Mothering Project. I am joined with the lovely, ready or not, one guest with me now, which is Lou. Hello, Lou, how are you? Hello, it's lovely to be. Yeah. And we've had a lovely little catch-up beforehand. I always like to, when I have my guests on, is just have that little chat beforehand and it kind of just eases the nerves. Because I'm very nervous getting to be you guys. Like you're Really? Yeah. How do you in my earies? Months and months, honestly. And I'm like, oh my god, these are like the gurus now of the podcast world.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, that's very kind. A bit untrue, but I'll try not to be too bad at taking a compliment because I'm terrible at it.

SPEAKER_01

So let's we just talk about being Irish and that's the one thing we cannot do. It's like, no, no, I'm like, I look terrible. Like, what are you talking about?

SPEAKER_02

I'm obsessed with Irish people. That's probably why.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, good. Well, um, we'll I've I've already been telling you about some shows that I'd have to send you through as well. You can have them at Netflix when you get to chill. Yes. Look, I am so grateful. And, you know, I think from when I started this podcast, I've reached out to a load of people and went and said, Oh, you know, like really sheepishly slid into people's DMs going, Oh, would you mind being on my podcast? And I don't think I've ever had anyone knock me back. And I am so happy about that. Like I just feel like it's a real I suppose it's just a real show that women really want to support women and when they're going to say more.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. You do you find that from your podcast? Is it I couldn't believe it in the early days. Now we sort of have enough, I don't want to say runs on the board. That sounds I don't know. We've been around long enough long enough now that some people have either heard of us or they can see a big body of work of who we've spoken to and all that sort of thing. I was flawed by how many people just said yes. Like friends would send a suggestion, like, why don't you try and interview Lale Stone? Or why don't you interview Justine Cullen, the journalist? And I was like, they're not gonna say yes to me. Both of them straight away were like, Yeah, we'd love to be on your show. And it really just reminded me that mums particularly, but also everyone in general, really just want to be heard. Like people just want to see themselves in others and to hear their stories told, and so they tell theirs as well. And that's why I said yes to you too. Like, hadn't spoken to you before, hadn't seen your podcast, which doesn't mean anything, by the way. It's just, you know, the way these things go. And I was like, of course, of course I want to be on this because it's important.

SPEAKER_00

It's important.

SPEAKER_02

And I think that's what I love.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, that's what I loved about you. You just came straight back and we'd message and I'd send you voice notes. And I always try and maybe that's what it was, it was the Irish accent that got you. But um, no, I sent you voice notes. I should do that more often, sometimes. But yeah, and I think um I found the same thing. Like those people that I've met, you know, five or six years ago, and I followed them on Instagram, but just hadn't like connected, and then I've reached out and went, Would you like to be on my podcast? I'm like, hell yeah. And we've had like such really good connections afterwards and went for coffee and you know, still kind of keep in touch now afterwards. And I think yeah, we spoke about this. When you're working for yourself and you're, you know, a mom and you don't have the office banter, it's really nice to have them connections outside. Um that's what I'm enjoying about it.

SPEAKER_00

Hello, I'm so sorry. That's okay. Normally timely, but today I am not. We've got a curriculum, uh, what is it, a pupil free day today at school, and today's also a working day for me. And I have a sick child, so I've got one at home who's meant to be at school, Gus, he's not well. So, do you know what? This is just how it works, isn't it? This is just part of everyday life.

SPEAKER_02

I was with friends yesterday who are school age, and I'm obviously not there yet. And I meant to message you, Losbian, like, bit rude that they're doing that just before a long weekend. That's so annoying.

SPEAKER_01

This is they do it all the time. Like, we have one, we have them all of the time at school holidays. They take the Friday off, and I'm like, Do you think school holidays aren't long enough? So then it's crazy. I just did a podcast actually with one of my friends around, they saw the mothering project. I did a mini-series and I talked about like the school years, and I'm like, you get hit with so much more admin and all the unexpected, oh yeah, it's like assembly day, and you have to be there till half ten, but you've got a meeting booked in at 10, and you only found out that your child's getting an award, and you're like, oh shit, I have to cancel the meetings. Yeah, there's a lot.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

There's also so many apps, like so many communication channels. There's email, then there's Seesaw, and then there's what's the other one called? The white one. Story pumps. And then there's Compass. Yeah. And I'm like, I I I like I know that everybody checks different things, but getting a notification through four different platforms like throughout the day stresses me out because I'm like, are they all the same? Are they different? Do I need to log in? Oh, I'm shocking.

SPEAKER_01

But what about the WhatsApp groups, the sub-WhatsApp groups, the mothers, the cis groups? Yeah. It's like, oh my god, did I miss something?

SPEAKER_00

It is definitely intense. Kinder WhatsApp group. It's it's a lot. Well, you're about to get a lot more, like a lot, lot more. Do you know what always I'm always like I'm surprised by is the amount of parents that volunteer for the committee or for the parents group or for the school council. And I think to myself, my heart truly goes off to parents like that because I'm not involved in that. But the amount of sheer work, yeah, adding that on top of your plate would be so intense. Oh I mean anyone that does that, you're an absolute legend.

SPEAKER_01

I think so too. And I think I I even feel like I neglect poor Maggie because she's in daycare. I don't even get to look at their maps anymore because I feel like I'm overly run with like the school stuff, and I'm like, oh shit, I didn't even look at her show and tell. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. It's like and I feel so bad when I'm the mum to reply late when all they're doing is trying to like organise a catch-up or they're doing such good work. And then I'm like, half the group doesn't even reply to them, and no one does it maliciously, but I feel so bad to them when they put so much effort in. It's pretty tough. It is tough.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I'm not one of those. I'm always like, yeah, I'll come, but I'm never the one that organises, unfortunately. I just, yeah, it's something insane, unfortunately. So Lauren, obviously you're welcome to leave at any time if you need if Goss needs you. Have you got anyone hugging you today? No, but you know what?

SPEAKER_00

I've got a lot of um what are those? What's that brand of toy called with all the really bright plastic Fisher and Price? No. Is Fisher and Price the washing machine?

SPEAKER_02

Colour things.

SPEAKER_00

No, that's PayCal, Fisher PayCal. So you're right. Okay. Yeah, sorry. I've got a heap of Fisher and Price toys and he's just living his best colourful life. My lounge room will be a tip. My daughter's in there watching TV. I mean, not that she's an adult, but I feel like she'll scream out if something's wrong.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, look, I mean, yeah, and if you need to go, you can go. Honestly, I know what it's like. So thank you so much for joining on. And I was just explaining to Lou, I've listened to you guys like religiously, because I think you're on the same trajectory of what I want to be on. And like when I was on maternity left leave, I never had anyone to listen to in the same way that you talk about things. I also come from a HR and safety background, and I feel like when I'm listening to your questions, I want to jump in and like chat back and answer with you guys when I'm on my walks listening. So look, I guess I wanted to kick off and talk to you guys about the identity shift that you felt when you became a mom and what changed your viewpoints around the work and the the juggles. Lauren, do you want to go?

SPEAKER_00

I do know what I think it changes every day. I want to be that person that says, like, oh, you know, this is how I felt holistically. But to be honest, there are some days when I think, why am I doing this? Like, why am I working? And then I actually go into the office and I'm like, that is exactly why I'm working because I feel like I have that time back to myself. But since having kids, I kind of have oscillated between two things. I've oscillated between being unbelievably motivated and feeling like I have so much to give and I have so much motivation and so much drive. And from an identity perspective, I feel like I'm really evolving into this new person. But then on the flip side, I also sometimes feel like I want to not take a step back, but not overextend myself at work because I also want to make sure that I have enough mental capacity to look after and be there for my children. So it's a real, I swing between the two. Like I wake up some days and I'm like, yes, I am like, today is the day that I am gonna make some changes and go in and get shit done and leave this project, put my hand up. And then it could be genuinely the next day where I'm like, today I'm gonna step back and I'm not getting involved enough as politics. So I haven't really, I haven't really determined where my identity lies, but it's probably somewhere between the two. What I can say is that without a doubt, it has changed. Like becoming a mum has changed like my value on time, how I feel about myself, the way I talk to myself. Like I would almost say I'm far more confident in myself because I want to show that to my children.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

And you know, I think we can bring bitches to ourselves before kids. Like I always found that as well. Like you literally, the internal critic and the awfulness that you talk to yourself, and you just like you to pull yourself. Especially, I think, when you have a daughter, you're like, oh my god, I would hate if she spoke to herself like that. Yeah. Exactly.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. What about you, Lou?

SPEAKER_02

Are you I mean, how do you feel? I think Loz has put that so well. I think Loz and I are really similar in the fact that both of us have a fire in our bellies that we cannot throw enough water over. It will always be there. And butting up against that is that we both are thrilled to be mums and want to be there for our kids. And I think it's just maddening to constantly realize that you can't fully reconcile those two two things. Like they're irreconcilable. Like I sort of map out my week as though I'm this mum that works two days a week in paid work, and it's sort of not the case. Like, I work way more than that, but it's almost like I'm always lying to myself about my capacity and I'm just not honest about it because I think maybe that's part of the identity of wanting to be be the mum that's always there. But I always want to keep doing the creative work that I love too, and I'm just constantly thinking about ready or not. Like, even if I'm not physically doing a task to do with ready or not or freelance work or whatever it is, it's just constantly in the back of my mind. And I think that's the part of my work identity that I hate the most about myself. I'm like, just switch off and be with your kids when you're actually with them. That's definitely my biggest struggle at the moment when it comes to the identity of I guess the collision of motherhood and paid work.

SPEAKER_01

It's just like I love the ritual. Yeah, it's the switch off. And like I was actually, I got a meme from someone the other day because they saw me on the street and they were like, this is what you look like. You look like you're in a real toxic relationship and you're frantically messaging on the phone while you're waiting outside the school for the pickup. And I'm like, no, I'm probably just asking ChatGBT for an opinion on what I should be doing. Like, that's all I'm doing. It's actually not, I'm not having a an argument with anyone.

SPEAKER_02

I'm just like yeah, you're just like trying to get something done, like feverishly. It's uh yeah, yeah. But I'm gonna law is like I'm completely changed by motherhood, mostly in great ways, and I think it's just a constant negotiation of getting used to what that means in your actual weeks and how they run, because yeah, the sort of creative or career brain in me still can't understand how she's meant to do all those things while also being the mum she wants to be. It's just like I don't think I'll ever figure out that damn recipe.

SPEAKER_01

Superwoman, I was actually in a workshop yesterday and I was doing like a talk around the parasympathetic nervous system and the the sympathetic nervous system, and I was like, it's like a seesaw, it's literally like motherhood, like all this shit about balance, like it doesn't actually happen. Like one time you're down here and the other time you're up there for like career is up here and you know, kids are down there, and then it kind of just flips over. So I don't think there's ever any time where I felt like I have my shit together. Like there's always gonna be times, like generally Maggie is home with me on a Friday, but I decided today I wanted to do a casual day, do the podcast, and go and like, you know, do something for myself because I'm like, I feel yeah, I feel like burnt out, and I feel like after a workshop, I just feel like I need to kind of get back my gather myself a little bit again. Because you give so much.

SPEAKER_02

I feel like workshops a lot too. Like I am a yoga teacher, and like there's something about getting up in front of people, which I don't teach at the moment, but it's like it's very emotional and physical. Like, there's a lot to that. So I imagine that you would just fall on a heap after that.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I just feel like, oh, I mean, I was so excited about this podcast, but if someone had asked me to do work, I would have been like, absolutely no chance. Yeah. And Maggie's gone in to do her yoga. That's unbelievable that you're a yoga teacher. I didn't realise that. Um I did my yoga teacher training as well when I had Oh, there you go. Yeah. I had Utreed and I had like this midlife kind of mom crisis going, I don't want to go back into the career world and the corporate world anymore. And I did that. We know that one.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. I think everyone has that. I think everyone, whether they want to admit it or not, has a point where they re-evaluate whether the situation that they're in in terms of work is right at some point. And it's usually after children. And it can be like a fleeting thing, like that guilt when you think to yourself, far out. If your kid's sick from daycare or something, you're like, should I be at home with my kid? But it definitely creeps in. Like, I don't know anyone that has gone through, particularly the first six years, and thought to themselves, oh, I'm nailing this. I've got every day, I it's I'm doing such a good job. It's like No, I don't think so. You might be, but you doubt yourself.

SPEAKER_01

Absolutely. And I don't think people talk about it enough. I'm like, and I know, you know, even in the early stages of motherhood, I didn't talk about it enough around, you know, like I talked about it the other day as well to someone. I'm like, I used to keep walking up to the mother's group going, I would prefer to stick pins in my eyes. It was like really hot. It was like that summer with Oshin, it was about 35, 40 degrees, and I'm like, I don't want to go up here. I just want to stay at home. But like, yeah, you know, somebody was like, you need to get out and meet other mothers, and I'm like, this is awful. And like Oshin was just a really bad sleeper. So like I like everyone was like, Yeah, my child goes to sleep from 6 p.m. till 8 a.m. And I'm like, okay. Like Oshin goes at right now. This is not helping me. So look, I guess in terms of the evolution of Ready or Not is what I'm really, really interested in. Obviously, I'm only starting out my podcast journey. We were just talking about, Lauren, before you started, or before you joined, obviously, around how generous people are with their time and like saying yes. And you know, I talked about this podcast to my nephew who lived out here and he lives in Melbourne now, six or seven years ago. And I was like, Oh, I'd really like to do a podcast. And back then it was all like famous people that were doing podcasts and stuff. Yeah. Yeah, you had to do it. Yeah. And he was like, Why would you do that? What would you do it about? And they laughed and joked, and now he's like, Oh my god, you actually are doing the podcast. I'm like, Yes, after six years of deliberation and like all the all the things and the doubt. So yeah, like, Lauren, do you want to start? Like, how did it go? Like, what happened? Like, what how did it take off and how did you push it forward?

SPEAKER_00

Oh, I don't know if I'm I don't know if it ever there was ever a point where it like took off because people like to see the end result and be like, oh, you've built such a great community, but they don't acknowledge that it's been years, like years of community building. It didn't just happen overnight. There was definitely a change, probably in the last year, I think, when we started getting a bit more intentional about our production schedule and very intentional about our socials, whether that be to create conversation or, you know, spark, I don't know, a debate, maybe. I think that plays a big role in how people interact with you and how people find you. But Lou and I started how many years ago? Three and I mean Lou started four years ago. She had the idea of having a podcast. December, I think, was an episode or Jan. I always forget. Yeah. And it was more of an interview series-based podcast at the very beginning. And Lou and I are very different. You know, Lou's a great storyteller, and she is great at asking questions. And I'm probably just more of a babbler. I like to just know what, you know, people on the street are talking about. Very good talker.

SPEAKER_02

I was gonna say a credit news. She's a great advice advice giver, and I'm not as much of an advice giver. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

So we kind of have different strengths and weaknesses, and then we came together. It was honestly at the very beginning, it was genuinely in the back of Parents Lou's house. We set up, there were so many cords. That's like my core memory of how many cords there were to like plug in and trying to get the light right, and then trying to speak to each other over this bunning sausage table.

SPEAKER_02

Like Zafe was a baby him and put him down to sleep there, and I was pregnant with posy. Like, it's actually really made me think about that. I don't think that's that very elephant. Yeah, she was supposed to drive down with like delicious food for us, or we'd like to go to the general store and get it. It was pretty cute, really.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, so I think um when you say like the evolution of ready or not, though, I think it's evolved naturally over time as we've become old older and our kids have become older and we're more in the thick of it. Like I would say Lucy and I at the moment are really ingrained in what parenthood looks like. And although it can be bad and good, it turns out, no child is the same, and you get humbled by every experience. And so I feel like between the two of us, we have five children, all of whom have almost had completely polar, like different experiences that we can draw upon. Yeah. For example, I had a great sleeper, great sleeper, slept seven till seven every night. Then I had a Masada sleeper that was so bad that I had to go to sleep school. You know, Lucy's dealt with Yeah, Lucy's dealt with those feelings of, I wouldn't say postnatal depression, but feeling really blue. You know, we've both had very different experiences of motherhood, and I think that's what makes it so well-rounded. So that's kind of where the evolution, in my perspective, comes from. Just being honest about your experience every day, and every day it changes.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

What would you say, Lou? I feel like we are in the thick of it right now, too. Like Posey last night wouldn't go to bed till 10 and then was up at two screaming, and she only wanted me, and she was like slapping me, but also being like, I need mommy. But if I tried to like stroke her back, she would hit me. And I was just like, What is going on here? And then I woke up feeling like I'd been hit by a bus. And I was like, Oh, that's why. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. That's right. And I think that's why I can relate to you guys, because I'm probably right there in the thick of it with you. Like, I mean, Oshin's a bit older, he's seven in October, but then Maggie turns four in July, and she is a lozit. Like you're just a year ahead of Loz, really. Yeah. And she's the same. Like, she'll be like, Oh, I just want my mommy and I'll go in, and she'll be like screaming at me and waking up Oshin and they're sharing a room too. So I laugh at your podcast where you're like, How do you get the kids down to sleep together? It's impossible. Yeah. It's impossible. It is impossible. And you know, obviously we're have something at the moment we want to upsize, but I'm like, it still won't make a difference. Like, she'll still crawl into bed with me at 2 a.m. or 1 a.m. and one of us will go in like using, so we just bed hop for the night, and that's just the way it is.

SPEAKER_00

Christina, I was speaking to a girlfriend the other day because this for some context, when we uh redid our bedroom, like DIY, we did it ourselves, we wanted like built-in, because there was no storage, we wanted built-in cabinets around the bed. And at the time I said to Ryan, and I was I just had Sienna, but of course I was like, I want another baby at some point. I was like, I think we should get a king bed. And he was like, that's excessive. We don't need a king bed. And I was like, okay. And so we have a queen bed, and I spoke to my girlfriend the other day, and I'm like, I need a king bed, I need a super king bed, I I can't cope, I can't have all these bodies touching me when I sleep. And I end up going to their bed, it's just a nightmare. And she's like, Laz, let me give you some advice. She's like, I have a super king bed, and my children are still within centimetres of my body.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. And that's it. I mean, like, I was inside in like we have a Calva King bed, because I knew, you know, Oshin was one of those. But I was inside in a is it a king single with Maggie last night in Oshin's room? And oh my lord, I was getting kicked in the ribs, she was talking in her sleep, she was laughing. Opposite way of you. Like they don't sleep lengthwise, they sleep widthwise. She cuddled on my head, so she kind of wrapped herself over my head, and I'm like, this is not comfortable.

SPEAKER_02

Yes. For anybody, if a dog slept on you, that's how they would sleep on you.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, well, this is what they keep at me for a puppy, and I'm like, Yeah, well, the puppy will sleep on top of you, like you sleep on top of me, and they're like, that's okay, it's cute. And I'm like, Is it?

SPEAKER_02

No, it's lovely. You're like, no, it's not. I've I've been through it. I love that we talk about the evolution of the podcast, but actually we've just turned into hacking.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, well no, but look, this is what it is. We all like to ramble. But look, I guess in terms of like, you know, I know that you guys also talk about mental load and you know everything that happens alongside of that. Is there any tips, I suppose, that you can give our listeners on how you do deal with it? We touched on that with the acts and whatever, like how you like a super organized person, deep calendars, what happens.

SPEAKER_02

You go first, Lee. Do you want me to go first? What do I do? Except that there's no secret source to figuring it all out, is my first tip. My second tip is that I feel quite lucky that whatever it is that's naturally within me is very good at just letting go, which I know is really hard for some mums. For some reason, I don't find that hard. Like I'm very happy to let Hayes, my husband, stuff up and learn things his own way, because it means that we've been able to become a little bit more even. I still have two days a week with the kids while he's working, so it's not like it's completely 50-50, but when we're both there, it it is pretty 50-50. So letting go has been a big one for me. It's just really tricky when that's against someone's personality type because people can be like, yeah, that's all well and good, but I find it impossible. So I feel like it's a muscle you need to flex. And for some people it takes years, for others, it's like just built in you that you're pretty good at letting go of things. What are my other tips for navigating at all? I live and die by my calendar. Like I live. Literally look at my calendar as though it's my friend. I'm like, what are we up to this week? Because I don't remember until I look at that on the Sunday. And oh God, I feel tipless at the moment. Done is better than perfect is a catchphrase that we love that came from uh Ava Chandler Matthews, who co-founded Ultrapilot. And I think there's something really good in that that you do learn through motherhood. I tend to be a bit of a perfectionist in my work life, but I wouldn't describe myself that way in my personal life. But I think from becoming a mum, whether it's the process of maturescence or like just having less time and less capacity, I've definitely learned to just get things done and not be like, not think that they're absolute masterpieces. And I think that's essential when you are navigating motherhood and paid work. And then my last, only like more practical tip is I personally cannot start the day without having a healthy good breakfast. There's something that just breaks my soul if I don't do that. So meal prepping, a grab and go breakfast for me set genuinely does set my week up better. And trying to pack the bags the night before. What does that look like for you off breakfast, like overnight oats or what in the fridge? It's like a my favourite thing to make, which I made this week, is like a just like a healthy veggie loaf, but to make it more delicious, you add more cheese because they never have enough cheese in these recipes. And you also add Italian herbs, dried Italian herbs through it. Because normally, like a vegetable frittato, I'm like, ew, that's boring. But if you add parmesan, feta, and Italian herbs and whatever veg and herbs you love, so good. I crack an egg on top, chuck it in. Here we are. We've gone into cooking as well. It would be like our cooking show. But that genuinely makes me feel better about life if I do that. So now over to Loz, because I don't think I was very helpful just now. No, but I love them.

SPEAKER_01

Yes, I love them because I I used to skip breakfast to have coffee. I talked about this yesterday too, and then my cortisol leveled are up through the roof. And to throw it up, I would go to F45 as well, and I would like just really, you know, put myself into the ground and like put my stress levels up to the to the high 90s. But yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, like a sort of act of self-love, I feel like it's like I can be playing to myself before I give to everyone else for the rest of the day.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

I think that's a really good hard tip.

SPEAKER_00

I mean, I think for me, I would love to be more like inspiring about the mental load, but things that genuinely help me if I was if I was being honest, is calling my girlfriends to have a bitch and be like, this is so hard. My husband sucks today, he didn't take the bin out, whatever it might look like. I know that sounds really lame, but I feel like it really helps. Like, I think sometimes you can get so stuck in your head about how much you've got on your plate that all it takes is for you to talk to somebody else and then put for them to say, Oh my god, me too, or I get it, sucks, or or look at all the other amazing things that they're doing, or you know, whatever. So I think that actually helps for me. I live and die by a shared calendar. If it's not in the calendar, it doesn't exist. And also like two things. Sometimes I think to myself, if you and I really like this quote, if you don't change it, you choose it. So if something feels really overwhelming or you're in a real rut, the easiest thing to do is just change something. It doesn't have to be the entire thing, but you know, put your hands up and do a dance or stamp your feet on the ground or do a couple of deep breaths or just do something to get you out of your own head. I think that really helps for me. And the other thing is ask for help. I know, like, you know, like we always say to women, ask for help, ask for help. But you know what? When you do, I feel like the mental load gets easier. Like, for example, drop-offs. I've got three drop-offs at the moment. I was finding it unbelievably easy. I can't even imagine how you do it. Well, well, this is exactly how I do it. I was finding it really overwhelming. I was bitching about it at school pickup. I'm like, oh my God, this is so hard. And as I was saying that to another school mom, she's like, Oh, what days are you in the office? I'm like, oh, Tuesdays and Thursdays, what days are you in the office? She said, Mondays and Wednesdays. I'm like, oh, why don't you know, I'm happy to take your children to school on the Wednesday when I'm not in the office if you can do a Tuesday. And she's like, Great. Like problem solved. Yeah. So it's like little things like that. I am a big believer in talking about how you feel, even if it's like to your dog. You can't internalize it because if you're internalizing it, that load just keeps doubling and doubling and doubling, and you get to a point where you're like, this is I can't do it, it's too hard. And we don't want anybody to feel like that.

SPEAKER_01

And you feel I almost feel like you get resentful to people because you're not asking for the help. Like, and I love that because it's the same with the school for us. I've formed lovely friendships. I'm so fortunate with the school that we go to. They're such nice moms. We like to go out for wines, we've gone away for a weekend together, and everyone's like, What already? Like, he's only in year one. And I'm like, Oh, we did that at the year end of Kindi. You know when they're your people. Like, yes, you can have a wine, you can go to their house, they'll play in the park, and you'll sit there and have a drink together. Like, that's just when you've when you're all struggling through that same process of like trying to get it right and you know, missing birthday parties because you fucking took it down the calendar wrong and you're like, shit, oh no, you sent him the wrong day. And exactly. Yeah, all them things. And it's the same, you know, like there's sometimes where one of the moms would say, Can you know my little boy come home with you today? And I'm like, Yeah, perfect, collect him when you're finished work, and vice versa, because there's times where I'll be stuck in a client and I can't get there, and I they'll I'll be like, Can you take him home today? So it's just really nice. I think that's a really Yeah. Sorry.

SPEAKER_02

I love it when you get to that age where you feel a bit more capable in your motherhood ability. Ability might not be the right word, but stay with me. But also where your kids get that bit older, where your friend dropping her kids off and that helps her actually helps you too. And you're like, No, this is great. Like, I'm happy to do this. I am so happy to help you because I know how hard this is. And the kids are stoked, like, they're not all babies. I'm not giving a bottle to a three-month-old that doesn't know me. Like, they're all playing together and having the best time, and it's so joyful building in that stage, I reckon. Like, it's all also really important in those early years, but for me, it's almost been more important the older my kids get. And that's I think probably the stark realization with what we're doing is I've asked people, uh, people have asked me questions. I don't know if Loz has ever been asked this of like, what will ready or not look like in years from now? And I think we're both open of being like, well, we have no idea. Like it might still exist, it might not. We love what we're doing, so like we don't plan to stop it, but we don't know. But I'm like, the evolution of working motherhood is it never ends. Like it never ends. Like I'm realizing now that having a 12-year-old and a 14-year-old isn't going to be magically easy with a career, you know. So I'm like, for me, it's sort of like as long as we want to keep doing it and there's an audience there, like the story will just keep evolving into people.

SPEAKER_01

And I do think as well, like Lou, that's so such a good point because I think as well, with this whole journey, like you can say, like people say to me, Are you gonna work for yourself forever now and just do the human project? And I'm like, no, like a job could come along and blow my socks off, and there's loads of flexibility, and that means I don't have to do my own baths and my own super and all this stuff that comes with it that I don't love doing because I like being creative and you know, thinking of like new ideas, but I don't love sitting there doing all that shit where you go, Oh my god, like I have to pay money now to the government, and for that I need to like keep all of my receipts where you don't need to do that in paid employment, like you just get your paid income in your account every month, and that's really nice as well when you're doing something like that. You've got like a passion project, like a podcast and stuff beside it. So yeah, it's a really good point.

SPEAKER_02

You get very open, I think, to just that life is continually going to change now, and I'm okay with that.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. And I think just to circle back as well, with you know, Lou, you said that you like doing interviews, or Lauren said that you enjoy doing the interviews, and then you know, you like giving advice, Lauren. Like, I find that as well. Like, I do a couple of different segments, so I'll kind of do like just a solo segment, which is really uncomfortable for me because I hate talking about anything about myself. And I was interviewed the other day about toddlerhood by somebody else, and I was like, God, I much prefer asking them people, the people, the questions, rather than actually like talking about myself and getting on social media. But you have to push yourself out of the comfort zone too, right? And do things that feel a little bit icky or uncomfortable, and then it doesn't feel so bad.

SPEAKER_02

It's so hard. It's so hard breaking through that. Every day I'm like, social media is gross, I'm gonna get off it. And then I'm like, but there's also a lovely community that we've built there, and it does reach new audiences. And just those two things are just constantly in my head.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, because I listened, I think, to one of your podcasts where you said, You don't mind doing the carousels, and Lauren, you don't mind being online and actually talking to camera. Whereas like I'm more the carousel, but I've started doing more of the camera. So it's nice that you have each other to balance each other out. That's a really nice skill. A good little balance that you have.

SPEAKER_02

Loz was like key there because before we started doing Witching Hour, I was like, my face didn't exist on the page. But it was like you need to connect with people if you're gonna have a podcast. Like you can't be faceless, it just doesn't work. If you're really famous and you're just like, hey guys, I've started a little podcast, but I'm never gonna show you any clips from it. But for us, it was like people love people, and that's like been a really important lesson. And Loz was good at just being like, who cares? Who cares what people think?

SPEAKER_00

Let's just put it out there and see what happens. I think I know. I mean, that's the well, that's the beauty of people, right? Like, you're gonna no one's ever gonna have exactly the same opinion, and nor should they, otherwise, it would make for a very boring subset of life. Like you don't, you don't want that. You want people to challenge you or say I disagree with that or these girls are nuts or whatever they want to say. I never take it to heart. I mean, I would I would never comment that on somebody else's post. Like, I'm always a bit surprised when I read comments. I'm like, wow, like you would say that publicly. Go you, but also I would never. But also, like if everybody had the same opinion and we're all talking about the same things, how boring. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

And I think as well, people call it out online, but they don't call it like you could meet that person in like a networking event, and they would never come up to you and go, by the way, I hate your podcast, so you talk, you know, nonsense on this. Like they would never say that, but they will behind a keyboard and behind their their little profile. You do really funny.

SPEAKER_00

I do always find it funny too when I look at like the shares on our on our socials, and I always wonder, I wonder if people sharing none be like, oh, this is so good, or if they're like, look at these two Muppets talking again. You know, it's always that. Like, you know, I it's the sharing thing that always surprises me because I'm like, what do you whenever I share something? I always put context to it, like this is hilarious, or this is so us, or you know, it's usually more uplifting, but I'm like, I imagine there'd be people there like these two are peanuts, or you know, like what do they say? I guess we'll never know.

SPEAKER_02

It's funny. I don't care as well. Like, I definitely did in the early days. The only time I ever get upset with sort of social media commentary is if I feel like someone's made us, I don't know, like rebranded our values, or like someone thought that I don't know, we were giving a different message than what we would. That's the only time. But everything else now, I might call me ugly online, say you disagree. I actually I don't give a fuck. I don't care. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. I think that's it. And we were only talking about this, you know, like part of the workshop yesterday I covered was like Gen Zs and whatever. And I'm like, I think because we've kind of come through the the other end, I suppose. And we probably didn't have social media growing up that we're probably at that end of going, I actually don't care anymore. Like, I don't care if you don't like me, if you don't like my content, go listen to something else or someone else or look, you know, and follow me. But I think yeah, you do have to push past that though, because there's that visibility when you become visible, I think, online. After not ever being visible, like I've had people reach out to me lately and they're like, oh my god, are you Christina Burn from the Mothering Project? From like clients that like I don't they like, I've never mentioned that I've got a podcast. They're like Australia. But I'm like, Yes, I am. And they were like, Yeah, I've listened to your podcast, and I've sent it through to my niece back in Ireland, and I'm like, Wow, like that's actually free to do. I can't believe that it's outside my circle now, and people are probably sharing.

SPEAKER_02

It's funny that, like, that you don't have control over that. As long as someone doesn't think we're being like, Yeah, mean spirited. I'm like, well, you just can't control it, can you?

SPEAKER_01

No, no, that's it. So I guess, in terms, like what I'd love to hear about is what are the main things that people are asking to talk about now in your podcast? Like, what's the real burn in things from motherhood? And you know, I laughed at you saying their laws about like having a bitch. Like I always say to two of my friends in particular, I'm like, we can't man bash today, I'm in a good place at my husband. Yeah, you can't start it off because if you do, then I'm gonna have an issue.

SPEAKER_00

It's a fine line, rather. Yeah, it's a fine line. It's so funny because sometimes when I'm like, oh my god, Brian this or Brian that, you know, my friends will say something like, Oh, you know, but remember last weekend when he, you know, did that for you? And I'm like, Yeah, he did do that for me. Maybe, maybe he's not so bad today. Maybe I can like re Yeah, you know, people say things depending on what you need. But one of the most common things that people ask, I mean, there's so many questions. I mean, obviously, because we're more career-focused or work-focused, there's a lot of questions around returning to work, you know, how to ask for flexible work, what to do when your boss says no, how to tell somebody you're pregnant, how to go back to work and be pregnant again within the first month of starting. Like, what do you do? Nothing of it. I'm gonna say, none of the questions that we get unique, as in, and when I say that, I mean they're nothing that we haven't heard from our friends, our extended networks, our families, other listeners, time and time again. It's like someone's like, oh, sorry to ask you this. I don't know if you've covered this. I'm like, oh, you're like the 25th person to ask. Don't stress like what you're thinking is exactly the same as somebody else. I mean, the mental load is huge. I feel like people want a secret source to know, you know, how do you do it? But it's like everything in motherhood. I I think everyone is looking for answers, like a maths equation as to how to master working and motherhood. And all of the questions that we get seem to be around a small subset of that. But the realities are it's so different for every single person. Like, there's not if we had the answers, we would all be billionaires with 500 children, but yeah, we don't.

SPEAKER_01

And I mean, I think it's even every child that you have is different. Like I felt different with the channel. So she and Maggie, and I'm like, you know, she's like this little spice bag, like she will, like she's so fiery and like spice bag! That told me that you're such a call posy. That's the best thing I've ever heard. But she, you know, I'll say it, I'm like, God, Maggie, you're spicy, and she's like, I'm not spicy, and she looks at me with these eyes and like owns like, oh my god, she's like you. But I mean, and with Oshin, you know, with the whole school start, like he was so he's such a popular, loves sport, like loves running. And when he started school, it was such a big adjustment for him. He used to be the last kid on the yard, the principal used to have to hold him, his hand and bring him in, and he'd be crying, and then I would be crying, leaving the roof, like leaving there, because I just I never expected it from him because he was such an outgrown kid. Whereas I know Maggie will walk in there and just rule the roof from like day one, like she's just that type of person. And I think, you know, it's like actually adjusting yourself for both personalities is is really a challenge in the beginning. And so, yeah, like it's just a real eye-opener.

SPEAKER_02

But also not like what I'm so conscious of is that I'm constantly describing what my kids are like to others, and I'm like, stop doing that, particularly around them, because I'm like, don't brand them before they've even gotten anywhere, but I do it all the time, and I'm so conscious of it. Like Posey's more I mean I'm gonna do it right now. Posey's more out there like me, and much like much spicier, as you say. I love that. And she's my rough sleeper still to this day, not always bad, but you know, she's she's an interesting child. Love her so much. She's gonna do amazing things. Ray's a bit more even killed, like my husband, but I'm like, you've got to stop saying that. And like I'll sometimes say he's shy. I'm like, stop saying he's shy, like he can hear you, you know? So interesting. But I just didn't want to talk to you, and neither do I. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And I don't think I've met anyone today. I don't think I've met anyone today who's had two of the same kid. And I think I think that's actually there's a reason for that. I think there's a reason for it because motherhood has this way of throwing a curveball at you where the minute you think you got a down pat, something else changes and you're humbled. And I think that's what's so rewarding about motherhood because every day is so different that you're like, oh, I'm learning something new about myself, but then also about somebody else. Like it's exciting.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. And like how you react to that situation is interesting.

SPEAKER_01

Absolutely. It's the reaction. Like having to reparent yourself and go, oh my god, no, I can parent like this. I don't want to parent like that. I don't want to scream, but then you just start like it's just this like innate thing that comes out of you. You're like, oh no, I've just done it. What I didn't want to do.

SPEAKER_02

Yes.

SPEAKER_01

Um so I guess once you started the podcast, what was the biggest thing, or even in your journey now? Like, what's the biggest biggest thing that surprises you? Is it like the amount of time it takes? Is it the like the amount of joy you get from it? Like, what is it with the podcast that keeps you going?

SPEAKER_02

It takes a lot of time. I'm I'm surprised as to how long it took us to earn money from it and how long it's taken to build it. It's taken ages. We're the exception, not the well, no, sorry, we're the other way around. We're the rule and not the exception. We also came in at a time where podcasting wasn't unique anymore, like it's everywhere, and there's a million parenting podcasts. So breaking through that noise has been really challenging. And also, like the main way you reach people for a podcast is through social media. But social media is so busy and chaotic now that it's actually hard to for to make someone make that connection of, oh, that real looks interesting. I actually now want to listen to that full episode as opposed to being like interesting tidbit, gonna send that to a friend, and that's as far as it goes. So I think those two things have been for me the biggest surprise. But then talking about the joy, like definitely loved doing it. Very proud of what we've built. And like when we stopped and reflected on those coming to my parents' house and making that drive every fortnight or every week with Zave back in the day, I'm like, holy shit, we've we've come a long way. Come a long way. And it is nice to be asked that because it feels bloody, I don't know, egocentric to think about. But it is nice to be like, oh yeah, yeah, it has been a big long journey.

SPEAKER_01

And you can tap yourself on the back, can give yourself like we, you know, we talked about that earlier on. Like we're as women, we're like, oh my god, yeah, we'll just push through. You know, I did okay, I guess. But like actually, when you do sit back and you go, like we sacrificed a lot. Like we had the baby probably crying in the back of the car driving down to Lou's house, Lord. So I'm sure there was obviously all that as well. Where do you do it now? So you obviously record in a studio, is it?

SPEAKER_00

Or yeah, we're in a studio studio now. We're at Pivotal Studios in Collingwood, which Lou and I absolutely love. But again, we're able to do that because we have amazing sponsors and great brands that we work with that enable us to pay for that, essentially. So if we weren't getting paid anything, we would be going straight back to we'll probably be going to Lou's house or my house now, and recording in the nursery of one of them. So Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Parents will have us back if we need to.

SPEAKER_01

Isn't that nice that you have each other? I've got one um I've got one final question because I know obviously we have um Oni had the hour, but um I could spend so much longer talking to you while it's been amazing. But in terms of doing it all, give me your take on that.

SPEAKER_00

I mean, you go first, but I reckon we've probably got different different opinions on it.

SPEAKER_02

I just think that you can't do it all, and it's a big load of crap, and that you can find your own version of all, but that's the only one to aim for. Having said that, I still think we all I feel like we all lie about like this, oh, having it all is a myth, and fuck having it all, but I feel like we're still all trying to have it all. Like, I want my career in the way I want it, and I want to be a mum in the way I want to be a mum. And I guess in that way, I sort of am trying to have it all. But as far as striving, like I'm not striving to be some boss bitch super mum. Like that version of having it all, I don't think exists. But I do think that we're sort of we're interrogating the concept of having it all while still really acting as though we do want it all. And I find that a pretty interesting paradox because yeah, I think I say one thing, but then I go home and do another of like being distracted because I've got a creative idea that I simply must get out at that moment or write down a notepad. And I'm like, you're just doing what you say is a myth out there in the real world, or like on the podcast. But I'm like, are your actions really lining up with your words? I'm not that sure.

SPEAKER_01

Isn't it a bitch to have ambition on top of motherhood as well? I'm like, exactly right. I wish I could be a stay-at-home mum. Like, we're I'm one of eight. So my mother like stayed at home with us all the time, obviously, because there was eight of us, so she had, you know, like people were saying, when you came along, I was like, When I came along, I was booted out the door to school, and I don't even think she bought me there. She probably sent me with a sister. But yeah, like it's just I think everything has changed. We've had technology, we've everything that happens around the world as well. And like we're all trying to compare. You you try not to compare, but when you're on social media, of course you're gonna go back into that comparison. And Maud gone, oh yeah, I want to get there, you know, subconsciously.

SPEAKER_02

No, I was what I'm so intrigued as to what you're gonna say, Loz, about us having different opinions.

SPEAKER_00

I don't think anyone is ever gonna have it all. I think even the people that feel like they have all these things still want more. And I think the problem with humankind is that once you get something, innately, you're gonna want more. You're gonna want something else. So you're never gonna have that feeling, in my opinion, of having it all over a sustained period of time. Like once you get to your goal, you're most people are gonna be like, now I'm gonna take up this, or I'm gonna be a Pilates instructor, or I'm gonna try this new fat, or whatever it is. Like, I don't think it's achievable at all. But I do think when it comes to doing it all, I think women are doing it all every day. I think when there's people like, oh, you don't want to do it all, maybe you don't want to do it all, but day in and day out, you're doing it all. You know, and and it's because you have to. Like, what are the other alternatives? Like we talk about outsourcing and asking for help and having more even parenting and all of those great things. But as a society, I do not think we're there yet. And I think women need to give themselves a bit more credit because when you say, Oh, you know, when people go, How do you do it all? And it's like, I just do. Like I just get up and the things I do, I do, and the things I can't, I don't. But at the end of the day, like every mother I know, and every woman for that matter, is doing a lot. So I think we kind of innately are without realizing it.

SPEAKER_02

And I think feeling it all remained I couldn't agree more.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, and I think everything that you just said there just hits on point. Everyone listening will be nodding their heads going, Yeah, we do. Like, you sacrifice a lot as well when the kids are young. Like, you don't do the same thing that you like to do. Like, you know, I remember rolling out my yoga mat out here on the thing, and like Maggie's on top of me, and I'm like, I would much prefer to go to a studio and get all Ven whether playing the sound bats, but like that's not gonna happen right now. It probably does now because she's a bit older, and like, you know, I'll go off for an hour some Saturdays and just go and do my yoga class. But you have to, it's like that adapting. Like, you have to adapt to the little things that would make you feel a bit better to do it all, I think. It's really important.

SPEAKER_02

And also, it's just like you really realize what a point in time it is, like not feeling that great today and a bit tired and all of that because Posey was up last night, but that's not every single night anymore. And like just recently I started running again, and I'm not running far, and I'm not running fast, but I am running, and like a year ago I would have been like, sweetheart, as if you're gonna be running in a year. So it's like just also remembering that like it really is a season, it's annoying to hear, and there's sort of exceptions to that, with like if someone's navigating disability in their parenting and all of those sorts of things, but like it sometimes I look back and I'm like, that was a season, and like my first baby was so easy postpartum, my second wasn't, and that was jarring, but it was a season, and now I'm like I can start to have slightly nicer things in my life, sometimes, not all the time, but sometimes.

SPEAKER_01

And I think you can start dressing nicer now as well. I don't know if you feel that, but like that's so hard, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

But I'm on that bad word at the moment where I'm like desperate to buy new clothes because I feel like my body is now my body because in I'm not breastfeeding anymore. I feel like my hormones are all over the place where they're starting to level that little bit, and I'm like, oh my gosh, my body's starting to become what it's gonna be for the next five years. Once again, yeah. And I'm like, oh my god, I need to like buy something that suits me or fits me, or who am I? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I did this like throw out the other day, and I was like, oh my god, like number one, I I probably will never fit into this again, and it's just liberating my style anymore. Like, it's not my style, it's a real boho cheek, and I'm like, no, I'm more active wearing jeans and you know, all the comfy layers and stuff now because it's just yeah, we're kids.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

So, very last question: if you guys could tell me, is there anyone else that you think I should get onto the mothering project for this really good awesome advice?

SPEAKER_02

I'll give you one in the first person that always comes to mind, or first two people because they're similar, are either Lail Stone, who's like the parenting educator and mindful parenting and all of that, and the psychologist Yara Hury, who I love as well. I just think for your type of podcast and the combos you're having, love both of them.

SPEAKER_00

What about you? Okay, selfishly, I would say one of the best conversations I've ever had was with Jen Muir. I just thought she was lover. Yeah, she's incredible. Also, and the reason why I say selfishly is because I had so many personal questions that I wanted to ask her. And she was like at the end of the conversation, she's like, ask me. I'm like, really? Like, are you sure? She's like, Yep. She's like and her answers social media auntie. Yeah, but her answers are so direct. I think that's what I really like. Like, sometimes I think what happens is like everyone becomes a parenting expert, and the advice that they get is vague. And I'm like, do you know what? I I actually almost don't even mind if the advice that you give me doesn't work for me as long as it's direct and I can try it. Because when it's vague or like you could do this, but don't forget everybody's different. I'm like, nah, no. I'm at the stage where I have no mental capacity. I need you to say, this is how I want you to try de-escalate a tantrum at home. Number one, you're gonna do this, then this, then this. I'm like, you know what? Great. Now I can go back and implement it. Jen is that person. She will tell you black and white, here's what I think you should do.

SPEAKER_01

I wish I had Jen in my clear when Oshin was younger. Like, because you know, you don't know how to de-escalate a tantrum. You're like, what the hell is wrong?

SPEAKER_00

And sometimes you just don't want to, you don't want advice that's like you could try this, or maybe it's like, nah, no. I need I need someone to tell me what to do because I don't have the mental capacity. Jen is that person. I think she is incredible. She's so good.

SPEAKER_01

And I don't have the patience to lie in the floor while you know I'm just saying them. No, you know, like it's just doesn't, it's not my night, not my nature. So yeah, I think Jen could be a good call. Yeah. She's great.

SPEAKER_02

I love her.

SPEAKER_01

Have you listened to Maggie Dent as well?

SPEAKER_00

I love Maggie Dent. Yeah, she's incredible. She's really good. She's with so many good people. I also think um, like I mean, who was I gonna say the other day? Relationship experts or like sexologists, I think are always fascinating to speak to. Um not that I like want to air my entire life out there, but I'm always I just find it so intriguing because your relationship does change when you have kids and that connection with your partner evolves. I don't think it's becomes worse. Well, hopefully it doesn't. But I I love hearing about what people are doing to reconnect, like not sexually. Some I mean sometimes it's via intimacy, but otherwise, like, what are you doing with your partner that's not going through your shared calendar? I want to know. I'm thinking about it. What does that look like at the moment? Yeah, now that we're not gonna be able to do it I don't know about it.

SPEAKER_01

Like really. I was on a Facebook group and it was like 2019 babies, right? And this topic came off a while back. Must have been in about a year or two, and obviously the kids would have been five then. And this woman was like, just putting it out there unanonymous, how many times are you having sex a week? And I'm like, a week. Maybe just rephrase that to a month. And this woman we do it three times a week religiously. And is she 19? She must have been. Have they just got together?

SPEAKER_00

Are they giving a new relationship?

SPEAKER_02

I have a friend like this who's been with her partner for like 20 years, and they have two kids, and that is their sex life. Maybe don't make it as a social media clip, please.

SPEAKER_01

Just to catch her privacy. Yeah, we haven't said your friend's name.

SPEAKER_00

Great, but I'm like, I I actually I feel like the older I get and the more in into like the weeds that I get with my partner, the more I'm actually looking for ways to reconnect that are fun. Like I want, I want to feel like I'm having fun with my partner. I don't feel like I need to connect anymore because I'm like, we've been together for so long. Like we are connected. We're connected. We've had three children together. That's connected enough. Fun too. Yeah. But I want fun. Like I want to have fun again. And I'm like, what does that look like for other people? Like, what are they doing? Is it tennis? Is it going for a walk? Is it like going to a trivia night? Like, give me some ideas.

SPEAKER_01

I think it could be anything. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

But I think those things are really interesting. I mean, I that's what I'm interested in at the moment.

SPEAKER_01

Well, there you go. That's what I need to do. Because I feel like we've all gotten into this conversation. It's like, right, how are we going to do it? But thank you so much. I obviously don't want to hold you up. I know you've had such a juggle this morning, Lauren, as well. I am so sorry. I was so late. I overcommitted myself. And get that fired today. And Lou, thank you so much. Obviously, we did a lovely chat, and I'll send you all the recommendations of them Irish shows. And please, if you want to binge on.

SPEAKER_00

Oh my gosh, guess what? I want to go to Ireland. I want everything. Christina, my husband is currently in Cork playing golf. He is not, really. He is. Yeah, I called me work trip. Yes, I know how ridiculous. Well, it's for the weekend, and he's meeting with a client, apparently. Don't worry, my time will come. Yeah. He'll be having them pump crawls. Cork is such a pump crawler town as well. Yeah, I lost together a lot. I think it's Cork. I think it's Cork. I've Dun Ireland, remember, with my dad. We drove all around. Did you? Did you? Loved it. We went to Kalani, Kilkenny, The Ring of Perry and all that. Yeah, we went to the Ring of Perry. We kissed the Bliny Stone. And we went to Castle White, which is where, actually, a funny story for you, just completely offline. My dad is Irish by heritage. Like his great grandfather was an Omara, and so he's always wanted to go back. And I was like, great, let's do it. So we went, he's like, we need to go to Kappa White, which is where he's buried. I'm like, okay, cool. So we went there and it was this tiny town. And on the strip was like a laundry mart and a pub. I'm not even joking you. Like you, that was a whole town. And so why does near me if it's the same one? It's superior, right? Yes, exactly right. Yes. Yes. So it's tiny. And the first thing we did is we went to the cemetery, and Dad was like, I want to see the tombstone. And every second tombstone there said Omara. Yeah. Yep. Everyone was there. So funny. And Dad was like, oh shit. So then we're like, oh, we may as well go to the pub. And it was like it was like a ghost hound. Dad was like, Oh, I don't even know if it's open. And then we opened the door and it was like the entire township was in there. Like the and then as we opened the door and who are these people. It was out of a movie, and this guy turned around and he's who the hell are you? And it was honestly like the best three hours of my dad's life. They were like, have a beer on us. He's like, Oh, I remember Omara. That was my cousin's son's dogs, you know, like it was doing sad about Ireland. It was so fun. Yeah. It was so welcoming. Like you really felt like you were part of a community without knowing anybody. I we had the best time. It was amazing.

SPEAKER_01

Lou, you're gonna have to make it back over there. I got married there in 2018, and like we went to, I don't know, did you go to the Spanish Point or like over by the cliffs of Moor? No.

SPEAKER_00

We did, yeah, and it was so windy, it was like whipping you in the face.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, that's basically everyone's experience. Everyone's like, oh, the cliffs of Moor. I'm like, it'll probably get blown off the cliff, but um yeah, we got married there. Yeah, and there were some Aussies that came back and they were like, Oh my god, this is like something out of the movies, and like my picture is raining, like it was raining that morning when it cleared up, but it was all cloudy, and like they're like, that's like the best pictures. I'm like, Yeah, I know. Like you do miss our. It's so cold. It is so cold. Just what's the case? There's people at home. There's people at home at Christmas though that like go down along the beach and like they're getting in, it's like minus degrees, and like it's like Bondi Weeding. Like, what the hell is wrong with thee? And they're like, it's a sea swim, it makes me feel good. I'm like, you're getting pneumonia. You're gonna die. Yeah. Oh, thank you so much. I really, really, really love this. Thank you, Christina. We can't wait to listen to more of your episodes. Yeah, really nice to talk to you. Thank you. You can always send me through your tips of where I need to brush up my skills. I'm I'm really don't be ridiculous.

SPEAKER_00

You're great. You're amazing. Thank you so much. Enjoy the rest of your weekend.

SPEAKER_01

Thank you.