This Doesn't Feel Like Me Anymore | Re-Entry After Massive Change

Have you ever come home from a trip, an experience, or even an ordinary day... and realized you're not the same person who left?

I call this re-entry—the often-overlooked process of learning how to live as the person you've become.

In this episode, I share what happened when I came back from a transformational weekend and immediately noticed things that no longer fit—literally, down to a pair of shoes I used to love.

Together, we explore what happens when your inner transformation outgrows your outer life—your home, relationships, habits, identity, and the old patterns that no longer belong.

We also explore old conditioning around attention, belonging, and being seen, unfinished developmental cycles, and what becomes possible when you recognize a pattern without getting pulled back into it.

I share a personal story about leaving a 32-year relationship, unexpectedly spending years in what I affectionately call a "pressurized cracker box" apartment, and the surprising message I received about what that season of my life was truly for.

If you're in your own season of re-entry—where your old life no longer fits but your new one isn't fully formed yet—I hope this conversation reminds you to meet yourself with more love, more compassion, and less shame.

Episode Highlights

• What re-entry really is and why profound change often continues long after an experience ends

• Recognizing when your life no longer reflects who you've become

• Why old patterns around attention, belonging, and being seen can resurface during transformation

• Understanding unfinished developmental cycles and returning to greater wholeness

• Learning to observe conditioning without getting pulled back into it

• Why your surroundings, relationships, and possessions may suddenly feel different

• The surprising gift of realizing that some seasons of life are preparing you for what's next

• Choosing more love, less shame as you navigate profound personal transformation

✨ If this episode resonates with you, please subscribe, follow, and leave a review. Your support helps these conversations reach more people.

If you're looking for deeper, personalized support on your own journey, I'd love to connect with you.

Learn more about one-on-one sessions and additional resources:
https://janeteichorst.com/

Much love and blessings,

Janet 🌟💛☀️

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Hi, everybody, Janet EyCorst here. Welcome. Today we're going to talk about, well, one way to describe it is re-entry, massive change. Re-entry is a term I use when I go away for a certain period and profound things happen, and I come back and I'm not the same person. And there's that process of trying to navigate who I am now versus who I used to be. And that process, depending on how much change has happened, can take what it takes. And that also can happen on smaller ways. Like you might go out just on a trip to the store and something profound happens, and you come back and you know you're different, right? So that's what I want to talk about. That those profound transformations. I've been talking about this for a long time now. How we're doing quantum leaping. The ways that we can shift internally can be profound and dramatic, I will even say. So this particular re-entry experience that I'm still in, by the way, uh was a long weekend. And so when I came back home, I was like, whoa, the first thing I was struck by um was a pair of shoes that were that I used to hike in and walk my dog in. And I was like, those shoes gotta go. Like, those shoes don't fit me. I kind of wasn't sure where whether I liked them or not. And no, I definitely don't. They it doesn't feel like me when I am wearing those shoes and I need to pass them on, they're still in really great condition, and somebody else can get a lot of miles on them, and they're not mine. So that was one of the first things I noticed. And so as I go through my day and my processing with this new version of me, I'm sure there's a lot of other things that do not fit who I am now. And the other thing that really struck me was I was like, wow, this is what I created. Right? My apartment, right? What's in my apartment? What has been meaningful meaningful to me in the past, this is what I created. And I was like, wow, past creations, is this still relevant? Again, relevant to who I know myself to be now. That's always a really great thing to consider. And I just want to plug, put a plug in right now for kindness. This trip I was in um stirred my internal pot a bit, right? There were some things that happened where again I was present to somebody that presented themselves in a certain way with a certain value system, and then I didn't see that being reflected in actions, in behavior, and in what they had created. And and that, you know, this has happened so many times. And I know I'm not perfect, right? I'm not claiming perfection here at all. And every time this happens for me, I I get to process it and see where I am with it. And this I mean this contributed to me being different when I walked in my front door, right? In this particular case, I had like, how do I want to say, like, just like a like really? Really, like this is still what's happening here, and and I don't judge myself for any of this, right? Like, I wasn't happy about it, right? Like, can't we all just be who we are and be in alignment with unconditional love and walk our walks? And and the answer is, well, we are in alignment or we aren't in alignment, and none of it's wrong, and it's gonna be what it is until it's something different. And we're making these huge changes, and if I need to be upset about it, I'm gonna be upset about it until I'm not. And that's part of the processing. And one of the dynamics, it's I'm seeing this in my mind's eye, so I'm gonna share about it now, is this how do I want to say this in the most accurate way, in the clearest way that I can? There are patterns, I'll say, in our reality where authority figures or older people might want things from younger people and that it's not clear. And I felt on this recent trip that I had that part within me that still wanted a level of attention. And part of me, like, is like, I don't necessarily like talking about this, right? Like, this is pretty vulnerable and close in. I mean, I have experiences of being what we call abused, right? Where I was harmed by another on lots of different levels, including sexually. And so I also have that experience of not getting my needs met, and I don't have judgment about my parents or anybody else about this, right? I'm not making them wrong. I'm really not in this way. I'm just saying that was my experience, and those developmental cycles that are normal for us did not complete, right? So that's what happens for us is that we get to go through and complete those developmental cycles, release any of those charges, or the way that those patterns have been embedded literally in our systems, energetically, physically, whatever level they're embedded in, and to come to a level of wholeness that's within us, right? Our wholeness is always here, and so sometimes it feels like uh um getting parts of ourselves back, and another way of looking at it is we're changing states to that level of wholeness where I feel and I am operating in alignment with that peer source creation that I am that moves through me as me. So that's part of the pot that got stirred where I got to observe part of that getting activated on this trip, and then navigating it, right? Becoming aware of it, seeing that that's still active in this particular way, and then coming, returning home, expressing becoming that version of myself where that's not active like it was. And we know for these really deep patterns and conditioning that are collective, more collectively based versus more personally based, these are the layers of the onion that we get to be present to until we're complete. And I do have these moments where I am literally observing it right from a from a very whole place, and this one I didn't get too caught up in where I couldn't see it, and sometimes that happens. Sometimes I go so completely into this level of conditioning that I can't feel that level of wholeness in those moments, right? And that's where I get to see many times the intricacies of how this is woven, stuck in, operating in the different aspects of my field. And so that happened on this trip, right? That and that, I know everybody knows what I'm talking about here, but there's that feeling of sometimes being left out, and this used to be much more active in previous in my in my past, I'll just say, right? And so here I am in a group of you know, people, right, where we're all sharing this this house together, and um, and I was feeling that that, and it wasn't very strong. And I was able to honor what was appropriate for me in the moment with get without getting caught up into I'm being left out, I don't want to miss anything, that fear of missing out, and that was super cool. And wow, and and various other experiences of my life that really affected my behavior, where I had uh it feels like stepping out of myself, right? Like uh my outside circumstances are determining what I'm doing in any moment, versus my inner guidance system being strong and determining what I'm experiencing, what I do, and how I'm operating. So that was super cool. So, of course, when I've got all these different ways of navigating and these old things being triggered and having these really beautiful heart-to-heart conversations and experiences with amazing women, that's gonna shift my reality. And so that's what happened, right? I walk in my home and I can see what I've created, and now I get to make decisions about what's appropriate for me now and what isn't. And I also got, I was really grateful for this too, because you know, I when I left a 32-year relationship and moved from a place that I was in for 25 years, you know, I thought I would be back in a house right away. And that didn't happen. I got very strongly guided to go in this very small apartment, and it was like a pressurized cracker box that I was in for a number of years. I never expected that, right? And then finally one day that pressure built up and I was like, I need to move to a two-bedroom, right? Versus a one-bedroom, which I did, and which I'm in now. And I'm at the five-year mark now. I was like, holy cow, I'm still in this in an apartment living, which really surprised me. Beautiful community, you know, it's been uh really great in so many ways. And still, I'm a bit surprised because I like to work with the land. It's more difficult, especially when you live in a hot place to grow in pots, right? And the work outside, I've got these beautiful trees out front. I mean, it's it's you know, you gotta be attentive, and it's a lot of trial and error. So, one of the messages I got, you know, after I returned from this transformational trip where I'm no longer in a very big way who I was, you're like, oh, this is the place that you're weathering the storm. And I was like, oh. I was happy that I was able to receive that and hear that. And mind you, I'm not, I don't have complaints. You know, the the people I've met here, at one point I was able to see kind of their dimensional aspects of the people that live in this apartment complex. I mean, there's 80 units in here. I have people that live above me, and this there's four in the bottom and four on the top. And I tell you, I'm not really fond of having anybody living above me because I can hear them when they're living their life, right? It's not my preference, you know. And even when I've looked at homes recently, I was like, oh, one level living, that's what I like. One level living, right? And so there's nothing wrong with that, having that preference. And I've navigated it, you know, having somebody above me with a lot of grace. And I do prefer being on the first floor for I don't know, that's just what feels right. So that's a message that I received when I come back, and I'm not the same person. So, in your life today, how well are you navigating these prolific changes that you're experiencing? And I know you're experiencing them because our planetary consciousness is shifting. You know, Gaia herself, the energetics on our planet are shifting. And this is very real. So our internal mechanisms are shifting too. And I'm a huge prop proponent of more love versus left versus versus that's interesting, left, less, right? Of recognizing if judgment or shame is active and not really making a big deal out of it. Shame, feeling like I'm wrong on some level has been in this consciousness for so long, and the institutions really have been designed to propagate that. And that, you know, sometimes can be a tough thing to see. You know, what we've been told our history books, the information is written by the people that are dominating the culture in some way. And we know that there are so many different perspectives when we're evaluating what has happened in events. There are as many ways to interpret that as there are people witnessing it, and so a lot of the, and you can't call it propaganda, you can call it whatever you want, but coming to terms with what I have been exposed to, what I have been conditioned to, what is still very active in perhaps our institutions or our culture, and coming to terms with recognizing that sometimes can be a little tough. And every time I go through a big shift, like I'm in the midst of right now, there's you know, there can be some disappointment, there can be a lot of sadness, there can be a lot of grief, and there can be fury as I come to terms with how I've been harmed and how that has been deliberate. And I remember the first some of it, not all of it. I remember the first time that I realized, because I was like, you know, somebody did something that wasn't in alignment with unconditional love. And I was like, Well, did they do it on purpose? Like, I really wanted to know that. And the answer is yeah. Not always. Sometimes it's the unconsciousness, the conditioning, looping and repeating itself, and sometimes it's deliberate. And the example coming up right now is how people want the money that I have, and they're trying to sell me something. Because there's another level of just oh, can we be done with this? You know, like I I'm looking at my emails and I was just like, unsubscribe, unsubscribe, unsubscribe. You know, I don't want to be fixed, I don't want somebody like telling me the answer. You know, I'm just kind of like, I'm done with another level of that because it's a lot of that is more and more not in alignment with my belief system. I mean, I am a practitioner, and that's another thing that got really clear to me. My mechanism, my way of operating is empowerment-based. I'm not trying to heal you, although you may be healed from our interactions, that happens all the time. And I'm not the one doing the healing to you. I'm a little fired up about this right now because I'm in this transitional space and I was like, I can't do that anymore. I can't even read that email. I can't even, you know, because I I'm so about and I want others. This is what I am receptive to, right? To whatever happens. I like to be inspired, I like ideas, I like it when people hold energetics, you know, that offer potentialities for me. I like it when people reflect back things that are happening for me, in me, to me, so that I can be a version of myself that I like better, that works better for me. That's where I'm at. So, wherever you are in your life, my hope and my blessing, you know, not that I'm the one that blesses, but my desire for you is to really embrace the version of you, the power within that allows you to make the choices that are aligned with you personally. And if you're in sort of a form of re-entry where one day you look at your life and you see it with a particular level of clarity that might have emotions attached to it that might be a little challenging to navigate, more love. More love for yourself, for your journey, for your badassery. Right? That's what matters. So much love, so many blessings. Please like, please share, please comment. I'd love to hear. I'd love to hear from you. Till next time. Bye bye.