Trinity Bend Sermons

Five Myths About Forgiveness: Forgiveness is Conditional May 10, 2026

Trinity Lutheran Church & School

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0:00 | 18:30
SPEAKER_00

During this Easter season, we've been exploring a topic together that is as central to our faith as it is challenging. Jesus died for us and he rose from the dead for the forgiveness of our sins. And so we've been spending these last several weeks talking about forgiveness. And we've been doing so by examining these common misconceptions and myths on the topic. We started out by confronting the idea that forgiveness starts with us, finding that it originates not within us, but with God. It's a gift that He gives and that we receive from Him and that we are privileged to pass on. Then we bumped up against the notion that forgiveness is optional. And we heard Jesus tell us that forgiveness is non-negotiable. We are called to forgive as He has forgiven us. After that, we challenged the idea that forgiveness is easy. We acknowledged just how painful and how costly forgiveness truly is. And then last week we wrestled with the connection between forgiving sin and forgetting sin, that they're not the same thing. We looked to God's word to help us navigate those hurtful things that we just can't fully eradicate from our memories. And all along through all of this, our main focus has hopefully been the forgiveness and the mercy of Jesus toward us, that God has lovingly and covenantally chosen not to hold our sins against us. And so today we arrive at our final myth: forgiveness is conditional. Now we've been talking about kind of parts of this all along. We've heard Jesus tell us in no uncertain terms that forgiveness is something to be dispensed freely and without limit, without condition, that that whole 70 times seven arithmetic that would cause our calculators to start smoking. We've seen that forgiveness isn't contingent on our own ability to forgive, and that the level of the offense is ultimately immaterial when it comes to our calling to forgive. That no matter how heinous the crime, how massive the debt, we are called to forgive as Christ forgave us. And all of this is very true and hugely important. But there are still a few important things to touch on. Today I'd like to look at this unconditionality of forgiveness through a little bit of a different lens. What do we do when those that we are seeking to forgive have no desire for that forgiveness? No receptivity, no repentance, perhaps no ability to receive it. What then is forgiveness conditional? And a good place to pick up this conversation is by asking, did Jesus die for everyone? Hopefully, this seems to you kind of a silly question. Of course, Jesus died for everyone, but there are actually some Christian churches that would deny this, that would limit the atonement that Jesus won for the sins of the whole world. But if the Word of God is to be prized over human logic, what do the scriptures say about this? They say that Jesus is the propitiation for our sins, and not for ours only, but also for the sins of the whole world. They say that God desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth, and that Jesus gave himself as a ransom for all. They say that Jesus died for all, that he became incarnate for us, so that by the grace of God he might taste death for everyone. They say that God so loved the world that he gave his only Son. So, Trinity, did Jesus die for everyone? Yes, absolutely, all people of all time, no exceptions whatsoever. Theologians call this objective justification. The death of Jesus is enough, it's sufficient to cover all the sins of all time for all people. Forgiveness is unconditional. This is why we can say to anybody and everybody without qualification, Jesus died for you. Jesus loves you, your sins are forgiven. And this is precisely the message that Jesus gave to his church. How about that Easter reading today from John chapter 20? Jesus has conquered death, and he comes to his disciples that same night, Easter night, and he says essentially three things. First of all, peace be with you, which is a pretty profound thing to say after everything that had happened. Second of all, as the Father has sent me, so I am sending you. And then third, I am sending you to forgive sins. This is the message that Jesus gives to those who trust in him. This is the main thing. This is the main mission of those who follow Christ. This is what Jesus chooses to tell them on Easter Sunday. Jesus is sending them out to forgive. They're going to be his ambassadors of reconciliation, dispensers of the forgiveness that he won for the world on the cross. And they do go out into all the world filled with the Holy Spirit and the message of the gospel of the forgiveness of sins. And this is your message, O Christian. Remember our definition of forgiveness that we've been using all along? Will you read it with me one more time? Forgiveness is God's gracious release of sin, won by Christ, given to us freely, and entrusted to us to extend to others. But this does all beg another question, I think. What about repentance? We are not universalists because scripture doesn't teach that. Don't people need to repent of their sins in order to be forgiven? Well, yes and no. Jesus died for all people, repentant or not. But the Bible does repeatedly connect forgiveness and repentance. We saw this in our Acts reading for today. Peter is preaching on Pentecost Sunday that forgiveness is for everyone, and he's preaching it to people from across the whole face of the entire globe. But what does he say? Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ, for the forgiveness of your sins, and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. For God so loved the world that he gave his only son, yes. But there's a bit more to that verse, isn't there? That whoever believes in him should not perish, but have eternal life. The benefits of Jesus' death and resurrection, forgiveness of sins, salvation, eternal life, they're for everyone. They are available to everyone, but not everyone receives them. They're received by faith. The benefits of God's forgiveness can be rejected. We can mock his forgiveness, we can ignore it. We can be blind to our need for it. We can dismiss it and refuse it. Unbelief is a rejection of what Christ truly accomplished for everyone, and it refuses the benefits of his work for us. This is why in John 20, Jesus also tells the disciples that for the unrepentant, it will be necessary to withhold that announcement of forgiveness. Now, this doesn't mean that refusing to reject the gift is somehow earning it. Does that make sense? That doesn't mean that if we believe, we are earning our forgiveness, not at all. Forgiveness is grace. Forgiveness is a free gift. It's not earned, it's received. Theologians call this subjective justification. When we repent and believe the gospel, we receive Christ's forgiveness and all of its benefits for us. But no matter what, God's disposition toward us all, toward the entire world, is one of open arms, arms literally open to us in love on the cross. God does not force the benefits of his forgiveness upon us, but his offer of forgiveness is universal. And it does not depend on us. So if we're called to forgive like him, we must then ask, does our forgiveness depend on others? Of course not. What if the person we're seeking to forgive doesn't acknowledge their sin? We forgive anyway. What if the person has died or is unreachable? We forgive anyway. What if the person is offended at the very notion of us forgiving them? We forgive anyway. We heard an incredibly helpful verse for this in our epistle reading today from Romans chapter 12. I found myself returning to this verse time and time again, both for my own personal sake and as I counsel people through relational challenges as a pastor. Would you read this verse for me? It's a really big important one. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Now, I want you to notice something. Elsewhere in Paul's letters, he rarely, if ever, qualifies any of his parinesis, his instruction on what the Christian life ought to look like. Paul doesn't say things like, be constant in prayer if you can. He doesn't say rejoice with those who rejoice if you happen to have the opportunity. He doesn't say, give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all, if a pathway conveniently opens up to do so. He doesn't say those things, but he does say, if possible, as far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Not once but twice, Paul qualifies his instruction to live at peace with everybody. Why? Because it's not always possible. And it doesn't just depend on you. But your part does depend on you. I've been helping Coach Ethan's baseball team this year, and one of the things we keep reminding the boys is that we can only control what we can control. We can't control the umpire strike zone. Had a reminder of that yesterday, right, Ethan? We can't control the weather. We can't control the bad bounces that you're going to get on the field, but but we can control our effort and our attitude. Paul is saying that we can do our part to live at peace with others. We can forgive others no matter what. Just as your forgiveness, your being forgiven by God, does not depend on anyone but Christ, so also your forgiving others does not depend on anyone but Christ. If someone is not sorry for what they did to you, that can't stop you from forgiving them. The unrepentance of others cannot rob you of the freedom you receive when you release sins and choose not to hold on to them anymore. It's been said that holding on to unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die from it. But what forgiveness does is it takes the poison and it pours it out on the ground, robs it of its power. The calling of Jesus is to forgive like him. And so our disposition toward others should mirror that of God's toward us. Open arms, open hearts, full and free forgiveness, even when repentance is absent and our love is rejected. And all the things we've been talking about remain true. It's still hard, it's it's costly, it sticks in our memory. But we forgive. Because Jesus forgave us as we drove the nails into his hands, because he has shown us what it means to love our enemies. And it would be impossible to love our enemies if it was conditioned on their repentance or reform. Open arms, open heart, and a firm conviction that grace is never wasted. But we do have one more tricky question to consider. Are forgiveness and reconciliation the same thing? When we forgive someone, does that always and necessarily mean that our relationship with them needs to return to the exact same place it was before? The words of Jesus in Matthew chapter 18 can be helpful for us here. There, he kind of famously provides us with a this fairly well-known step-by-step process of handling a situation where someone has sinned against us. Step one is this if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. If he listens to you. Sometimes it's not possible. True and full reconciliation requires repentance and restoration. It requires the rebuilding of trust that was broken. And trust takes a lot of time to be restored. We do not withhold our forgiveness, but forgiveness and trust are not identical. They're not the same thing. Forgiveness is given with no strings attached. Reconciliation and the rebuilding of trust happen gradually through a demonstrated faithfulness. Heather Stuby and I were pondering this together this past week, and she said something I found very helpful, so helpful I decided to codify it in one of my slides. Are you ready? There is a continuum when it comes to relationships being brought to a new stage. She might not have these conversations with me once she learns that I might do this with them. I just thought that was a really profound thing to say. There is a continuum, and this must be traversed on a case-by-case basis with a lot of patience and wisdom and Christian counsel. We are called to forgive and to be open to reconciliation always, right? Open arms, open hearts. But sometimes reconciliation can't be fully realized because it's not within our power, because the other person is unwilling. Or because it places ourselves or others in danger. Do you remember that shocking chainsaw illustration last week? Yeah, a lot of you are like, oh, I remember. Why did you even say that? Um, you know, if someone cuts off your arm with a chainsaw, that was from a book. I didn't come up with that. Um, if that happens, reconciliation is possible, absolutely. But you would probably be wise not to give that person back the chainsaw. Forgiving someone who has abused you is not coterminous with entering back into the abuse. It's not the same thing. As followers of Jesus, we always stand ready to forgive. No hatred, no vengeance, no withholding of mercy. But reconciliation is not always possible. So, if possible, as far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Praise God that in the case of our sins against him, his forgiveness has brought about full reconciliation. Praise God that his grace and mercy toward us are truly unconditional and truly ours forever. Praise God that he forgave the iniquity of our sin, that he does not deal with us according to our sins, that he's cast them into the depths of the sea and has removed them from us as far as the east is from the west. Hopefully, this series has provided some practical parinesis type advice for you as you navigate the joys and the challenges of forgiving other people, but we have completely missed the point. If the central message has been anything other than the fact that you are forgiven, Jesus is the propitiation for the sins of the whole world, and he is the propitiation for your sins. Just as thousands did on that Pentecost, you have received forgiveness and the gift of the Holy Spirit in your baptism. You have received the forgiveness of God through Jesus Christ that is at one and the same time both infinitely costly and completely free. How he loves us, how he loves you. So please remember forgiveness is God's gracious release of sin won by Christ, given to us freely, and entrusted to us to extend to others. May that be true in us every day. In Jesus' name. Amen. All right.