From Then to Now: Friendship, Faith & Growth

In this special Women’s Month episode of GROW180 Talks, I sit down with women who have been a part of my life for decades, friendships that have grown and evolved from our early years into who we are today.

This conversation is real, unscripted, and full of life.

Together, we reflect on:

• How our friendships began and what has sustained them over the years
• Growing through different seasons of life and learning to evolve as women
• The importance of healthy friendships and having the courage to let go of relationships that are no longer aligned
• How our relationship with God has grown and shaped how we show up today
• Walking through grief and loss, and the role friendship plays in those moments

There is laughter. There is honesty. There is reflection that comes from years of shared experience.

As we continue this season focused on Healthy, Happy, and Holy relationships, this conversation brings that idea to life in a real and relatable way.

Reflection:

What kind of friendships are you building and what kind of friend are you becoming?

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

Welcome to Grow 180 Talks, y'all. I am super excited to be here today. You are gonna love this episode because guess what? It's not just me. I've bought some girlfriends with me today. You know, this season two has been about relationships, right? And so we're gonna be talking about friendships. So I bought some of my OGs or what I call my day ones. Okay. So my biological sister is here with me. Introduce yourself. Hi, it's Liz, aka Wheedy. AKA Wheedy. She's known in the city as Wheaties, but now that she's more mature, she likes to be called Liz. Liz. And then my very, very vet best BFF Deb is with me. Introduce yourself, honey. Hello, I'm Deb. Deb. Also, Deb Pinkins. Y'all know her. The a real one. Always gonna keep it 100. If you know Deb, she's a real one. All right, and our other good, good, good girlfriend. My name is Pam. Pam. Yes. And I'm here to um, you know, talk about some things. Yeah, she's yeah, she's on her best behavior today, y'all. She's here to support, and she has a lot to add to the conversation. So I'm super excited to have these fantastic, phenomenal three women before you today. Listen, y'all, we have been friends for years, actually decades, since middle school. And I think I can say, if you guys don't mind, we are all in our early, early, early 50s. Early 50s. Mid. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 1:33

So I'm mid.

SPEAKER_03 1:34

I've always been the baby of the group. Yes, you know. So we're in our early to mid-50s. So we've been friends for a long, long, long, long time, actually, since middle school, high school years. So we're gonna talk about that a little bit. With that, we have a lot of wisdom, right? We've been through a lot of seasons together. So we can tell you a little bit about relationships as far as girlfriends and what that looks like, all right? Yeah. So we're gonna talk a minute. Y'all want to tell them about how we met. So who wants to jump in and talk about that? I will. This is Deb, y'all. So I met um Liz and Anitra back in 1990 something. Um, we were in the tenth grade. I was in the tenth grade. Liz was in the tenth grade. Of course, Anitra was the younger than us, so she was the freshman, the freshie fresh. Uh-huh. And then in later years, um, Liz introduced me to Pim. And so we just all became a great group of girlfriends, um, cheering each other on, um, encouraging each other, saying words, um, and cheering and encouraging, and just always just being comfortable around one another, transparent, and just loving one another. So I'm so happy and excited to be here with this group of ladies. And Liz, I'm gonna turn it over to you. Yes, I'm gonna have to correct DP, which is that's what I call DM. Um, we met in '87, '88.

SPEAKER_00 2:59

We was in high school at tech.

SPEAKER_03 3:01

Oh, yes, yes, yes. Right, absolutely. Absolutely. Right. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 3:04

We met then. So, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 3:07

And we've been friends ever since. Yes, yes. Yeah, and we met Pam.

SPEAKER_04 3:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 3:12

Uh, one of our other friends, she's not here. She um moved next door to Pam. And that's how Pam became our friend. Yep, and uh, this is Pam.

SPEAKER_02 3:21

I was gonna say all that right now. We all met through uh mutual, yeah, mutual friends, and we've all been uh like you said, close ever since, you know.

SPEAKER_03 3:34

So it's just it's been like that. Yeah, so we go way back, y'all. So um my daughters, y'all know I have 21-year-old. Well, there'll be 21, they're twins, but they they talk about our girlfriend group all the time. I'm seriously like, I want to have a dead pinkins when I get grown. They literally say that to me, like, because we are, you know, we're genuine best friends all these years, and y'all know relationships are hard to maintain, as well as friendships, period. They're hard to maintain. So people look at our friendship and they admire it. So I thought it would be good to bring that to our community so people can, you know, glean from that. Like you can have true friendships, you know. Everybody is not out to get you, everybody's not competing with you, everybody's not talking about you behind your back. Have we had riffs and ups and downs? Of course we have, but nothing that has really totally divided us. And I don't think that I can recall where we've ever had any time where we've like betrayed each other or just something just just nasty. You know how sometimes people can just be nasty and bitter and and uh vindictive. We've never had had that, you know what I mean? Where it's just like you malicious and you out to get me. Yeah, right. You know what I mean? So I appreciate y'all. I do. And I appreciate you, Anita. Thanks, ladies. Can I say something? Yes, go ahead. Can we give uh for Pam? Let everybody everybody know this is Pam from Euphoria. Yes, yes, the arena, yes, eyelash Pam. Everybody knows Pam from doing lashes in the city. Yeah, yeah. Like, I don't care who I meet, it's true. Like, even people we work with, it's like, yeah, I know Pam. Uh-huh. You super popular, honey. I didn't I didn't even know from the hospitals to corporate America. Everybody knows Pam and you keep everybody looking real good. From the 90s on to the 2000s. Yes, yes. And that's a good transition because I do want to talk about kind of like um our careers and where we are now as women. So let's open up with Pam. Talk a little bit about, you know, when you started um your your professional career.

SPEAKER_02 5:38

Um, okay. Well, when I started, um, it was it's it's it's kind of um I don't know how to say it, but I had searched and I asked the Lord to help me decide on what kind of career should I, you know, around the age of 25. I wanted to know what am I supposed to be doing? Because it was difficult for me to keep a 95. But you know, I always loved um beauty and um uh fashion. We used to look at magazines for hours just looking at stuff. And the Lord just he just guided me into that field, and it was so easy, it wasn't hard, it was just an easy thing, and that's how I knew it was God, yes, because he don't make things difficult because you know when it's him, right? So I was just like, Thank you, Lord, you know. So that's how I end up in the beauty industry, and and all this time I've been in it for over 30 years, but it has never seemed like work. Right, wow, it's never seemed like work. That's how it has been 30 years, and it don't seem like it to me. Like y'all say, well, people know y'all it just seemed like I just go to work and have fun. It don't seem like I it's like that to me.

SPEAKER_03 6:58

It's just it's just fun. So I don't even feel like I've been working. That's that's profound to me. And the fact that you said, because this is one of the things I teach in Grow 180, uh, when you're trying to identify your purpose, what comes natural to you? What are kind of your natural talents? And I really encourage women to lean into that because that's where God wants to use you and kind of take you down that path. Like it's some stuff that is like I don't even have to think, I just do it. Like I was born this way, you know what I mean? Like fashion and all the stuff that you talked about, which is why it doesn't feel like work, right? And why you've been so successful. Exactly. 30 years, and and and and what she didn't say, y'all, was she's a business owner. Exactly. Euphoria, right? That's the name of your business. And she's been solo, she's had other people renting space from her. She's done the whole gamut, right? Eyebrows, lashes, skincare, makeup. You've done makeup, does do weddings, you know what I mean? Get wedding parties together. 30 years, that's dope. Like to be able to last that long and stand on your own, always actually being in a building, like renting out space, you know what I mean? Kudos to you, honey. Hey, yeah. That's the kind of examples we want people to see, and our young people to see that you can find a career path that you can enjoy and be successful at. Right? And so we have, I want to talk a little bit about um just kind of supporting people before we transition off of, you know, um the bit, you know, you being a business owner and euphoria, how over the years your girlfriends have supported you because we have come in and out. We might not come every month or what have you, but in the beginning, what was it like, you know, getting clients?

SPEAKER_02 8:37

Um I gotta say, it was it was very easy. Yeah, of course, my friends supported me. You know, we all did each other, yeah, you know, back in the day when we were younger. We all made sure we looked good. Yes, yes. So um it was so easy because at the time, really no one was doing it. Come on. There was another lady doing it, but there was really nobody doing it. So at that prime time in my life, I had kind of like the monopoly over it. Yes. Even even when I traveled to like places like Atlanta, they weren't doing it, it really wasn't that popular. Like lashes has always been around, yeah. Okay, yeah, as far as strips, like the beginning of time, probably. Yeah, but you know, the individuals were in in, you know, it's changed a little bit over the years, but it's it's pretty much been the same.

SPEAKER_03 9:32

That's good, that's good, and that's true because she now you see lash shops everywhere, right? You have the Indians that do the thread and and all the things at Walmart and everything. But back then, it was hard to get in somebody's chair to get your lashes and stuff done. So you was one of the very first ones, yeah, black female-owned, right, yeah, that was able to step up to the game because there was some competition. I remember a woman, but she wasn't black. And then it was one other guy around that time, and we're not dropping names, yeah. But you stepped right in there and dominated a lot of that industry. Yes, yes, yeah, yeah. So you the one, girl. You the one. It was the one God. Yeah, it was the one God is good. God is good. Yes, yes. So we're gonna pivot to Deb. Tell us a little bit about your your career and and journey as to success. Well, I have been a registered nurse for almost 20 years. Um, I always knew that I wanted to be a nurse. Um when I even when I was just taking GNA classes and IUPUI, IB Tech, and um, I knew that I was going to be a nurse. Um nursing to me um it is uh takes a lot of compassion. And I feel that I have that compassion. I uh not just in nursing but outside of nursing within my friendships. Um nursing to me is is takes a lot of nurturing and not just a lot of nurturing or compassion, but you just have to absolutely know exactly what it is that you're doing as a nurse uh when it comes to assessing, um helping um your patients throughout their journey while they're in the hospital and even away from the hospital. I am currently a business owner myself. All right, thank you, lady. Thank you. I own a home care agency here in Indianapolis. It's called Best Day Home Care, and I am currently working on my home health care agency. There's a those are two different things. And in both of those industries, being a registered nurse, um it is very um well prevalent in both of those uh industries. You know, uh home care. Um I look forward to my clients helping them navigate through the uh medical, um, the medical um pardon me, but I look forward to helping them navigate through getting to their doctor's appointments, um, setting up their medications, um, also just being an educator because a lot of these patients and clients they do not have the uh resources that they need. Yes, so I am a resource liaison in a sense as a registered nurse. So being a registered nurse to me is very rewarding, and I am the first generation graduate from um a college institution. So that makes me proud to be able to lead by example for my children, and so I will leave it at that. Yeah, yeah. Ask me any other questions, fire away. Girl, we're proud of you. You know what I mean? Yes, it's it is, and I like the fact that it's nothing to be um to downplay, and not that you did the fact that you're calling out the registered nurse piece because it's a whole lot of home health bus home care businesses popping up. We know that everywhere now. But to have the medical credentials behind it and the on-the-floor experience, like Pam was saying, is a game changer, yeah, right to what you can offer to your clients and now to your patients as you open up the home health business. Thank you, Anita. So that's dope. We we're proud of you, girl. Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 13:14

And the fact that you care. Some registered nurses now, you know, they don't, you know, and I'm not I'm not trying to shame anything, you know.

SPEAKER_03 13:22

And also it gives registered nurses an out. You don't have to just be a on-the-floor nurse. There's so many other avenues that you can go into as a registered nurse. Exactly. And with that being said, Liz, that was that's one of the reasons that I started my home care agency because I am in my 50s and I do not see myself going up and down the hallways as a uh as I get a little bit into my uh older, yeah. You know, um, and so I wanted to be able to still use my nursing license and also to be able to have some flexibility, yes, and also just to consider my health, you know, as I'm getting older. So, with that being said, that was one of the reasons, and I also asked God to help me to you utilize my business as a ministry. And I believe that we all have a ministry, whether it's in business, in friendships, or just when you're just meeting someone in the grocery store. So, you know, those are one of the things that you know, seeking God for direction in all that you do, even in your um your the your occupation, yes, um, you know, that I just think it's important to seek God, you know. Absolutely. And so I just thank God for um allowing me to be able to have these opportunities that I'm having, and also with having these opportunities, I also want to help the younger generation, yes, you know, that show them that we can be all that we want to be. We are um great at what we do, and we should not allow anyone to tell us anything different. Yes, you know, there's a lot, I'm sure there's a lot of young black girls that um are looking to be a nurse, be an aesthetician, whatever they want to do. So, you know, with us being here today, we celebrate each other, but we also help to uplift those that are coming alongside of us as well. So I'm just thankful to God, and that's it. Yeah, yes, that's phenomenal. That's what it's all about. Being able to give back to the community, yes, also being a role model, you know what I mean? And not just thinking about me, myself, and I, right? Who can I help along the way and especially the younger generation coming behind us? I I totally agree. That's so good.

SPEAKER_04 15:41

That's good.

SPEAKER_03 15:42

Liz, tell us a little bit about your career. Well, I started in the beauty industry because of course I love to weave, so I used to do my hair all the time. Went to beauty school a couple of times, and um then um at tech, you know, they had uh cosmetology school, so I had a whole lot of cosmetol you know, cosmetology friends, yeah, all my besties. And um, so I was shampooed for them when we uh got older and they was, you know, in a salon, so um in salon. So I was always in somebody's beauty shop. So I was doing that, then um I transitioned into um uh dental receptionist. I loved I really wanted to be a hygienist because I like teeth, but then I didn't want to go to school. I didn't feel like school. School wasn't for me. Yeah. So I was a dental receptionist, so then that wasn't making a whole bunch of money. So I went into medical. So I started doing uh medical, like medical records, and I went back to medical um receptionists and all that stuff. Then somebody I know very, very well and I love so much uh introduced me to IT healthcare. So now that's where I'm at now. I'm in corporate America doing high uh software test um engineer. I'm doing that, been doing that for 10 years. I love it. It's um at my age now, you know, sitting at a computer testing software is good.

SPEAKER_00 17:07

So that's where I'm at.

SPEAKER_03 17:09

Um I like it. You know, so that's that's pretty good. I have some other things I um be thinking about doing, but um Liz is full of ideas.

SPEAKER_00 17:20

Yeah, I'm a lexic type of person. That's all right now.

SPEAKER_03 17:24

Making it happen though, still, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:26

But uh yeah, I'm I'm I'm I like where I'm at right now, so I'm okay.

SPEAKER_03 17:30

Good, good, good, good. So we done went all the way around the board from uh medical industry, beauty industry to corporate to healthcare IT, all of that. So you're getting a little bit of all of that. Yeah, and a lot of uh a lot of professions, yeah, yeah. It's it's funny because our friendships are all of them, we're all in different areas, yeah. Yeah, uh and I think that's what makes it interesting, right? That we can come into the table and talk about a multiplicity of topics, yeah. Um, and not just that, but we all inspire one each other, like you know, not even just in our adult life, but from the very beginning of our friendship. Um, we may have ventured off to do different things at different times, and then here we arrived here, but I am so inspired by these ladies that I sit with here today. And so I just want to say uh congratulations to all that you're doing. Keep going. You guys are doing such a wonderful job. I keep looking at my best friend Anitra because she's inspired me since we were young, young, okay. You know, she's been always always been inspirational, yes, no matter what. Yes, with her, even with her being the youngest, y'all. Wait a minute, Anitra. I don't know if she shared this on her podcast, but she bought her first house at how old? 25. You know, so young ladies, if you're listening, or I know you're listening, just know that you can buy your first house at 25, you can buy your second house, and then you can buy your dream home because I'm saying that in a sequence because that's what Anitra has done. She hasn't just bought one house or two houses, but she's bought three. So she's always inspired me with the way that she moves in life and allowing God to lead her. That's her number one thing. And so I am just so in awe, and it's an honor to be here on your podcast and I celebrate you. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, y'all. And I want our audience to know that what everything y'all hearing today is so genuine. Like we're not just doing this on the podcast, like we really support and cheer each other on, and we want I want to see more women doing this. This is women's month, right? March, they celebrate women all over our country in March, and so it was very important to me to do this podcast this month and make sure it drops this month. Yes, because I want people to learn how to celebrate other people, like be positive, be uplifting. It comes back to you, that energy that you putting out. And I'm not mean energy in some weird spiritual way, I mean how you show up and you being positive and encouraging and not hating on people. Everybody, I got haters and enemies. Well, how you got all them haters and enemies? What are you speaking at? Why are you speaking at what you putting out?

SPEAKER_02 20:18

That's right. Right. Because I feel like um being just being nice and kind to people will overcome a lot of that. Yes, just being kind to people, you know what I'm saying? And it can it can dissolve all of that nonsense.

SPEAKER_03 20:32

Absolutely. I totally agree, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We've had, you know, although we're sitting here, lady and ladies and and and gentlemen, on the uh my listeners, and you know, I've been talking about healthy, happy, holy relationships, and so I hit on healthy, right? What does healthy relationships look like a couple of weeks ago? Non-toxic relationships, relationships where you can agree to disagree without being cut off or sabotaged, where you can communicate, um, even if it may be a little bit controversial, you know, things around that relationship shouldn't feel um like you're in a prison. They shouldn't feel abusive, right? And so we talked about that a few weeks ago, and then I went into happy relationships, learning to love yourself, being okay in a relationship or outside of a relationship. Some of some of our friends like Deb will travel solo. Yeah, right. She will take herself out to do. She doesn't have to every step, every place she goes, hey Anitra, you want to go, or to her daughter or her other friend. She has other girlfriends outside of us. One of the things I highly admire about Deb because it speaks to her confidence and her being happy and content within herself, which I talked a lot about on last week's episode, where you can go and travel on your own or or go to a restaurant and sit down on your own. That's what happiness really looks like. You don't have to have company or a male or a female companion. It's nice and it has its place, but you're not so codependent that you can't function. Right, absolutely. And that's one of the points I wanted to get across. And so one of the things I want to talk about here is what are um some of the relationships when you think about healthy and happy where it wasn't that for you and and how did you handle that when you think about girlfriends, right? We're talking about friendships today. Okay. Um well for me um having been in situations or friendships that were not healthy for me, um, it really bothered me in the sense of it disturbed my peace. So I had to pray and ask God to help me to um not address a situation based off of emotions, but actually uh facts and also ask God to bright on my tongue and help me to and the lead me in what it is, whatever I need to do, because um, you know, sometimes you can love your friends so much, um, but that is not reciprocated, and you find out in ways that you wish that you hadn't found out found out, pardon me. But um, with that being said, sometimes you just vacate the friendship, and you know, sometimes you don't even say why, but if it brings you your inner peace and you know that you spoke to God about it and he's helped you through that, then there's no looking back, you know. So I have a lot to look forward to with my current friendships. I've I've learned some things in the hard way, but I am so very grateful again for just having the support system and the true, genuine friendships that I have now, or that I have always had actually. Uh, we uh lean into each other, we're very transparent. Sometimes in our friendships, we might um have to maybe rebuke certain things, but we don't take offense to that because it's coming with love and um because we know our friends inside and out that it really just encourage us to want to be better in every aspect of our lives. So I'm just thankful for the friendships that I have now and those that I don't have, I wish them that I no longer am involved in. I wish them the best. I totally agree with what um you just said, Deb.

SPEAKER_02 24:16

Um you know, with friendships, I just learned how to um in relationships, I learned how to uh just work on myself. Yes. I don't I don't really like to take things too emotionally because I don't like stuff to get in my head like that because it can go, it can go away, you know. So I just you know just be like, what do I need to work on myself? You know, and stop set that situation to the side and deal with it, you know, whatever. But just work on myself to make myself a better person and be the person that God wants me to be. Absolutely, only God knows. You know what I'm saying? So, you know, people will say things and do things, but like I said, God knows. Yeah, you know, I just keep it and just work on myself, yeah you know, and then you know who's there will be there. And then like I got like I said earlier, being kind to people, I don't hold grudges or anything like that. So um, you know, you just move on. Yeah, and um just work on yourself, be a better person, the person that God wants you to be. Absolutely, absolutely. That's phenomenal.

SPEAKER_03 25:26

Liz, what would you add? Um I don't really have too much to add. I know uh yeah, I don't have too much to add. I agree with what these two ladies said because I was that person that I've been having friends since kindergarten. I'm just saying. I've always had a whole lot of friends, haven't you? I've always had. She's a free magnet, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:51

I mean, I have.

SPEAKER_03 25:53

It's just because you showed yourself friendly.

SPEAKER_00 25:56

Yes, you know.

SPEAKER_03 25:57

I mean, it's but now as older, I don't have a whole lot. I mean, I have my core group of friends, and I guess that's that's what I'm supposed to have. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? So I don't think about what I don't have or who's not in my life, or who's supposed to be in my life right now, that's what's who's supposed to be in my life right now. So I don't think about because it's so many people who has come and gone from like I said, Kenny Gordon till now. So I don't even think about it no more. Cause who's meant to be is supposed to be. So what's right here is right here. So that's it. I'm I'm good. Yeah, you know, I'm I'm so with that living in the present. Yeah, right. Basically what I'm hearing because that's where I'm at. Yeah, and not just always looking back and what it should it like and Deb hit on this as well, steals your peace. Absolutely, and life is so short, yes. Well, especially at 55. Yeah, but he did not say priceless. Everything to be priceless, everything peace is priceless, I like that. Just like when you were talking about Deb going to eat and stuff, okay. It's everything. You can't give one, you know, everything. So I don't trip. Yeah. But that's what happy and healthy looks like right now. I'm sure we all can agree that we weren't always there, right? Right. We were young women, we met very young, but this is how we have matured and evolved over here. Which is what life is all about evolving. Yeah, I should not be the same as I was at 16. Exactly. Or 20, or at 30, 40, or 40.

SPEAKER_02 27:31

You know, I'm an orphan.

SPEAKER_03 27:34

We are forever growing and evolving.

SPEAKER_02 27:38

That's why I was like, you can't take a lot of stuff with you. You just can't carry that weight with you. You have to let it go. Or you'll just forever be like, you know, yeah, that's silly to me. That's just let it go. Yes. Yeah, just let it go and let it. No, that's wrong.

SPEAKER_03 27:57

That's all woman talk right there. I'm talking about everyone. Yeah. Okay, brown over here. We're not doing that, we're not doing that. Yes. Some people get it and some people won't. Yeah. And then you so we we model it, right? And you just gotta keep going forward, like you said, Liz. It's just it's gonna be what it's gonna be. Hopefully, other people will get it because life really is short. Yeah, and and I want to learn how to live my life without regrets, yeah. And and being bitter and unforgiving, like Pam hit on, and all those things just breed where I when I lay down to close my eyes with the Lord, I don't want to have any regrets, you know what I mean, or be embarrassed before God because I didn't do what was right, you know what I mean? But working on myself and just keeping it pushing, right? And whoever's supposed to be there, like y'all said, will be there. Absolutely. And like you said, life is short, it's very short. It is short because, like you said, we've been friends over 30 years.

SPEAKER_02 28:49

You know, we started out young and looking now.

SPEAKER_03 28:53

Yes, life is short. Yes, it's not long, it's short. So even though we look good, yeah, and we know just saying we know life is short. It is, and I'm enjoying it to the night. Yes, yes, yes, yes, how five, how five, how five. The happy, the healthy, and the holy. Yes, yes, yes. So I want to close us out with a couple of things, y'all. I want to end on, well, before we go to the high note, because I do have a high note I want us to end on. Okay, I do want to touch a little bit about, you know, we're we're um uh mature women, we're certainly not old, and I feel like we're young 50s, you know what I mean? Like remember when our mothers were our age and we thought they was older. Oh my gosh. We're all like we may be like, girl, I'm really 30 in a 50-year-old body. What are you talking about like that? But um uh let's let's do a little bit of um some of the life transitions that we gone through. And I've thought about, you know, some of the people in our that we love, some we've lost loved ones. Yes, all of us have buried our moms, yes. Um, sister Liz, my sister, has buried her son, one of her sons. And so, what does support look like in friendships and relationships when your good girlfriend is going through it? You know what I mean, and how you show up for that person. So I know that's a little bit sour, but I think I want to bring balance to our audience that they know through really good friendships go through every season of life. And that's really what I want to hit on because life has seasons, right? Yes, happy seasons, sad seasons, um, all of the above, right? So let's talk a little bit about that.

SPEAKER_02 30:29

I feel like um um, you know, like we were just talking about growing, you know, in different ages we change. I feel like with uh with the growing age that we are, we are losing loved ones. Yeah. And um that's something that I have to grow on because I feel like, you know, I should be there. You know, you lost.

SPEAKER_01 30:54

You was good.

SPEAKER_03 30:54

We're not gonna cry a little bit. Go ahead, y'all. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_01 30:58

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 30:59

Okay, go ahead. Go ahead. Do somebody do somebody else. And it is, it doesn't matter. She was good. People feel like go ahead. You couldn't go ahead and speak on the list, because this is real life, right? Yeah. Go ahead. I think people feel like if they didn't reach out, but you reached out, but still life had to go on. You know what I'm saying? You was there. You called. The phone calls everybody had to go back to what you know what I'm saying. I know you love me, girl. When I call you, you answer. When you call me, I answer. We left off like nothing ever, you know? We girls.

SPEAKER_02 31:42

You know, um like I told this young lady yesterday, she she was talking about how she still missed her dad. He passed in 2022, and I said she was like, you know, I know one day it'll get better. I said, no, it'll never get better.

SPEAKER_03 31:56

I said, you just know how to manage your life without that other because that's what I'm doing. Yeah, managing my life. You know, and and it's okay. Yeah, you know, the people who I love and they love me, I know that they love me. No, you don't have to call me every day. Because I probably wouldn't call you every day.

SPEAKER_01 32:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 32:17

Because I know that you love me still. When you do call me and we talk for hours, we we we catch it up still when we talk, so it's okay, you know, and I'm not mad or none of that because you know, everybody still gotta go on with their life. But when when it happened, you was right there. Yes, you know what I'm saying? For weeks, you know, you were right there, so you know, we still go through things still, and if something was to happen, I'm probably right there.

SPEAKER_02 32:43

But still, you know, somebody always does that for each other. But that was so raw. Yeah, so it was a year and off and a half, so but yeah, but yeah, we were all lost. I was thinking about that. I was like, dang, we all lost our mom.

SPEAKER_03 33:00

Yeah, yeah. None of us have a mom. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I remember we all sat around my mom's table with I thought about how one time Debbie Save it, Liz. Save it. We all got some merry stories. Yeah, oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_02 33:20

That was my friend. Yes. Oh my gosh, I loved her so much. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, she was she was the truth. Yes, girl.

SPEAKER_03 33:29

Mama still broke there, getting them brows done. She'd be like, Pam, here I love Pam. Okay. That was my girl. They'd be having that conversation. But anyway, yeah. Well, I think I think this is good what you know happened here because some friendships don't survive loss. And sometimes when you are grieving and uh we've all lost moms, but Liz and my nephew, but her son, yeah, right, it's a different type of pain. Yeah, and it's easy, Liz, to become bitter, right? But for her to sit here and say, Pam, you good because you were there, you know what I mean? And you don't have to carry any guilt, you know. And we all could say, I wish I had done whatever, but she's saying to you, you were there, you know what I mean? And I I've seen you the first day it happened. You was there, you know. That's not here. Yeah. We got good friends, we got some good friends. Yes, we do. We got it's some friends that's not here that we have. Oh, yeah. I could let me tell y'all, I could have easily had probably five to six more women on this podcast without our friends. Genuine friendships that have been there from way back middle school, high school. Like we have some, we do have some really, really genuine friendships. So, but it's important to even, you know, none of this is scripted, y'all, for that to happen because sometimes that can divide a relationship. Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? But when you know somebody loves you and they do show up, you know what I mean? And as Liz said, being mature, I know that you gotta go on with your life. I don't expect you to sit there and call me every day or what have you. It's that's maturity, you know what I mean? And that that's when you know you have true, you got something in the bank with that person. Like, I know she know, I know she's down. Yeah, and if I call her in the middle of the night, she don't answer the phone or what have you. So I I love that. That helps, they help me a lot. Yeah, yeah. They help me a lot. Yeah, yeah, I loved him. We also are the prayers that we have are that we send up to God on behalf of our friends. Um, they might not even know that we're praying for them, but because we are um women of God, we do we have that we're commissioned to pray for our friends. And so I think that's just as much as important than anything else. Yeah. Yes. So, you know, before we go on, because I gotta hide, we're gonna end on. It was in women's month, so we do uh our mothers are all gone. What would you say if you're to your mom if she was sitting here right now?

SPEAKER_02 35:50

I love you and I miss you. And um even though you're in a better place, I still wish she was here.

SPEAKER_01 35:58

Oh, that's right. You know, yes, yes, yes.

SPEAKER_02 36:01

I just wish she was here. I just miss her her silly ways. I'm a lot like her in goofy, you know. But uh yeah, I miss her like uh. I wish she was here. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 36:11

We'd probably go shopping after this. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. How would you deal with what would you say to your mom if she was here? I would just let her know how much I love her and how much she has inspired me. Um, because a lot of people think being a stay-at-home mom is just that. But my mom was a nurturer, she, you know, I learned a lot from her. Uh, she had a lot of wisdom. She um she was my foundation to how I met Jesus Christ. So I would just tell her, just thank you, thank you, you know, and also I'll probably tell her sorry for you know um playing like I was uh coming home at from the skate break at a certain time, but then we really ended up being a lock-in basically mama. I'm sorry, but it's not much like so you know, I just I just love my mom. I thank God for the time that she was here on earth, yeah. But I'm also rejoicing in God because I know that she didn't suffer before she departed this earth. Yeah, she's in heaven with my dad, and you know, um she modeled uh her Christianity the whole my whole life. Yeah, and so I'm just I know that she's with God. I'm I'm I miss her, but I'm happy that she's with God. Yeah, Miss Pink is what the truth now, the truth. Baby mom, babysitting all the kids, like Lynch she kept both of her stuff. Like, now you come and get him to we be after work today. And then I was telling when they were asked to go over Miss Pink's house and then we go Saturday. We're trying to be like, I'm gonna go to my Pink's house. I'm like, we're saying it's Saturday. She's been working on the weekend. She done her job for the week. So we miss Saturday. Yes, yes. What would you say about mom, Liz? You know about her mother. I'm not, you know what? I'm happy she's heaven. And I ain't trying to be political. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 38:15

But she will be so mad at Trump.

SPEAKER_03 38:22

Mom, she will be conversations. Yeah. This world right now. That is so true. This world right now, oh my gosh, y'all, she would not be happy. She would not be, but my mother was so humorous with it, though. Yes. So she she was my mother was very much so kept herself very educated about politics. She even would work the polls during during uh tax. I mean, not tax season, voting season. Yes. But um, she my mother was so very humorous, right? And she would say, get through everything with laughter, right? I remember being in labor with twins trying to have these babies, and she was over there laughing. I was there. My mother had a very strong sense of humor. So you know, I miss Mary. She was my absolute best, best, best, best. If there's enough bests that I can say for it. Yes. Uh, but um, yeah, I miss her. Yes, she was a wonderful woman. She uh taught me a whole lot as a teenager, and um, I laugh now, but she she listens on in on the phone sometimes with Liz and I conversation. But that's good, that's how you keep up with what your children are. Come on. Now, Mary was a parent. She's hard workers, yes. And um she just led by example, and so I admire that lady, and I miss her as well. She's a beautiful, she was a beautiful woman, you know. She just felt the love. Yes, yes, and her her house was always open to us. Um I just I just really love Miss Acres, you know, and you guys are two great, beautiful examples of who she was. Oh, thank you. Very welcome. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Okay, so I'm gonna take us back for a minute as we get ready to wrap up, y'all. Okay. So we'll talk a little bit about because now we are all women that are living for God, but we we ain't always been like this, y'all. We was young teenagers doing and young in our 20s, doing what we was doing. And so let's talk a little bit about our journey, y'all. So we used to have some some big time fun, right? Yes. Times were not as dangerous as they are now, right? Where my mother would even drop us off at the nightclub and we would go in. Let's talk a little bit about that. We got stories and stories and stories. We have to tell them all, y'all. But let's tell them a little bit about just a little memory lane. Because Pam, you said earlier we was the it girls. We were the it girls. There was clicks.

SPEAKER_02 40:38

I'm sure there's clicks today, but our click was top. We was, you know, we were styles. When we walked in the club, it just the the the club just froze. It was like, wait a minute. You know, we was just it when it and and when it wasn't one of y'all with us, it's like, well, where's y'all other girl at? Because y'all know we had we was always together, yeah. Yeah, so yeah, that's it was it was fun. It was fun.

SPEAKER_03 41:09

Yeah, we had a lot of good time.

SPEAKER_02 41:12

Yep, circle city classic, wearing the heels on the concrete, taking up my feet.

SPEAKER_03 41:20

Liz always being fashion forward.

SPEAKER_02 41:23

Yeah, I mean people be like, Liz, I got this, and this, you know, this look right. She'd be like, you're right, it depends on me.

SPEAKER_03 41:35

She wasn't investing to me, but the time it was okay. But she was always together with it. And it was so effortless. Yeah, it was like, yes. She just, I mean, truly. You could have been a fat, you could have been a fashionista too. Yes. You still be analysts. I always tell her she should be a stylist. Yeah, I think if uh social media was like it was back then, I think I probably would have did like maybe an influencer. I probably would have done something like that. But I was really shy, but I wasn't shy. Yeah, if that makes sense. Yeah. Y'all know what's saying. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. People didn't think I was shy. No, because she always had, was she not the friend magnet of the group? Because if we went out, it was rare that Liz wasn't with us, but they still would be like, what would they say, Debbie? Where is Wheaty? Where Weedy at? I mean, for you to make five, where is Wheaty? Where is Wheaty? To the point.

SPEAKER_02 42:25

She scared me. She made friends always. I'm like, girl.

SPEAKER_03 42:29

Be careful, right? Yeah. Everybody wanted a piece of Wheaty. Yeah. We hold on, it has always been the main character. The main character, honey. Yes. We had to grow into our independence around Wheaties. Yes. Like, just because Wheatie ain't going, don't mean I'm not going. It wouldn't be as fun. It was definitely not as fun. It was. It was not. It wouldn't be as fun. It wasn't as fun. But there were a few times we had to go off. Yeah. Few and far between, though. Yeah. Yeah. So we had to manage time. We managed skate, going to the skating rink, like Debbie talked about, lock-ins, and we did our little years of nightclubs and stuff like that. But where God got a hold of us somewhere, maybe in our 30s, right? Late 20s and 30s. Yeah. I do have this story though. Debbie, I remember one time Debbie came over, so we was back in high school. Debbie was always talking about Jesus when we wasn't. And she would be like Lord's listeners.

unknown 43:25

We were telling a lot.

SPEAKER_03 43:26

Debbie's famous line was Lord's listening thing. Girl, we would be terrified. Like, okay, well, let me just stop it. I'm gonna tell her the truth. Because she meant that thing, and we we had enough respect for God because we at least gotta, we knew Jesus was the way, right? My mother took us to church. But when she would say that, oh, you put the brakes on. And you get on my nerves because I got that niceness. I don't care what. Yeah.

unknown 43:50

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 43:50

Baby would nicely check you. Right. Okay. Nicely check you. She wasn't getting too out of pocket though, out of character. And now remember Liz when she had them rhyme boots back in the day and nobody else had. The tile rambles, them nice leather ones that just type the little tie up the front. Debbie was a fashionista too. She was checked. Her mama had she gave she had an Ellis Air's charge part. Debbie checked me one time on their phone. I was in mama's home. She checked me one time on that phone about something. What did I borrow? Well, back then we borrowed each other's stuff. Yeah. Yeah. But Debbie checked me something, something borrowed. I have I have enjoyed my friendships with you guys. And you know, it just makes me so happy inside for us all to just be sitting here today. Yes. Um, we haven't had a complicated friendship at all. Um, you know, I I hear women and people falling in and out of friendships. We're going years without talking about it. Yes, we just have not had that happen. And I just thank God for that. This is this is real right here. Yes. Okay. Any last thoughts y'all want to leave uh with the growing 80 talks um people? Well, like I said, we got a few more that's in the core group. We do, we do, but they're not here. We can shout out a few, but I ain't even gonna do that because if I don't call out on the name, all right. Y'all know who y'all are. Y'all know who y'all are. Listen to the listen to the podcast and put a little comment under there. But we do have some good friends. We've been blessed. Yes. Thank y'all for coming on the show. I'm so excited y'all chose to join me today. I appreciate y'all taking time again. This is so exciting. Until next time, I hope you enjoyed this podcast. Grow when Nady Talks, y'all. See you next week.