First Solo Trip: Leaving Home to Find Yourself

What do you do when you know—deep down—that you don’t belong where you were born?

In Episode 4 of Roam Alone, Mark Fryer reflects on growing up in the south end of Louisville, Kentucky, where he often felt like an outcast in his working-class, Catholic upbringing. From an early age, Mark felt pulled toward the west, dreaming of a life beyond what he knew.

That pull became reality at 19, when he left home alone on a Greyhound bus bound for Denver. What followed was far more than a simple trip—it became a transformative hitchhiking journey across America, marked by harsh weather, chance encounters, and a mysterious “New Age” preacher who changed the course of the trip.

This is a story about trusting your inner compass, embracing uncertainty, and discovering who you are when you leave everything familiar behind.

Time Stamps

00:00 Growing up in the south end of Louisville feeling like an outcast

06:03 At age 10, planning a secret solo float down the Ohio River

12:49 A Greyhound bus west at 19 years old

20:19 A snowstorm forces a bold change in direction

28:08 Picked up by a “New Age” preacher for an epic cross-country ride

Roam Alone is hosted by Theresa Stephens.

Instagram: @theresaannstephens

Facebook: /theresastephens

Facebook: /RoamAlone

Transcript

Theresa Stephens Hello everyone. I'm Teresa Stephens, and this is Rome Alone. Solo travel,
shared stories. So I'm very excited about today's guest who is Mark Fryer. And you can't tell by
the names, but this is my brother. Welcome to the show.
Mark Fryer Thank you so much. It's great to be here.
Theresa Stephens So we have been discussing everything that you have done solo travel
wise. And it's really hard to narrow the list down because you've got a lot of stories over. Well,
not to age you, but a lot of years. He's my much older brother. What I want to start way, way,
way back. Because when we first started talking about this, you mentioned some stories that I
don't even remember. And we're two of six, right? Sibling wise in the family, grew up with mom
and dad. So there were eight of us in a very small house and there's six years between us.
And so a lot of these early formative travel years that you had. I was twelve, thirteen, fourteen
and just oblivious to all the things you were going through.
Mark Fryer Right, right.
Theresa Stephens Just to get some perspective on our family. You know, we grew up in
Louisville, and for me at least, we were in one house the whole time. And I was the youngest.
You were the second youngest. You and the older siblings were definitely close. And then
there was, you know, the six year gap before I came along. And so a lot of the memories that I
have are very different than the family memories that you have.
Mark Fryer Right, right.
Theresa Stephens So tell me, tell me how you felt about our family dynamic. Like what?
Describe our family to me.
Mark Fryer I would say I would definitely working class. Um, you know, dad, of course, was a
factory worker. Um, but it was very interesting in that the neighborhood that we grew up in, the
south end of Louisville, the working class side of Louisville was, um, everyone was the same.
Our, uh, our particular neighborhood, our was built in nineteen sixty four, and my dad
purchased the very first house. Our dad purchased the very first house in the neighborhood.
Theresa Stephens I didn't know that. See, again, there's so, so much about our childhood that
I. I just for whatever reason, I don't know if being significantly younger. I'll stop saying that. Um,
being a little bit younger, just, I don't know, maybe it was just me that I was just oblivious to it,
but. Yeah. So I didn't realize that. That's cool.
Mark Fryer Right? And yeah. So, uh, just, uh, back to your question. It was, um, what was
neat about the neighborhood is that every family was, uh, I think the parents were uniformly in
their mid twenties to mid thirties. They all had children, of course. you know, very Catholic.
Louisville is a very Catholic town. And, um, and so the neighborhood was just filled with
children, and I would describe it as idyllic. Our family in particular was and everybody, you
know, everybody worked at either trade jobs or, um, factory jobs. Um, so it was everything 
seemed very equal. And um, it was again, it was a great neighborhood. I felt like I had a
wonderful childhood. I felt different as far as being in the family. I don't know particularly why,
but I felt and I've always felt like I was, uh, a black sheep in the family, even though mom loved
me most.
Theresa Stephens Alright, we're gonna come to blows by the end of this show. Uh, because
we all know Steve was the favorite. Well, yeah.
Mark Fryer Well, mom always told me I was the favorite. Um.
Theresa Stephens So what? When did you start feeling that.
Mark Fryer Uh, at a very young age and I don't know why. I think it was, um, I don't remember
when I started reading heavily, but I felt like I had a better command of the language than the
rest of our siblings. And they were all older except for Debbie. I, you know, I felt like Debbie
had a good command of the language, but there was something that I was, um, I was really
interested in it. And I paid a lot of close attention to it. And I just maybe that was the kernel.
That sort of led to me feeling like, um, a bit of an outcast or whatnot. But I certainly felt not only
in our household, but in the neighborhood in the south end of Louisville, from a very early age,
I felt like I was different and maybe to some degree didn't belong there.
Theresa Stephens Gotcha. And the reason that we're talking about this specifically is because
that informed pretty much your whole life and the travel that you have that's almost defined
your life in many ways. Because when I think of Mark growing up, I think of him being away.
You know, I you were the outlier because I stayed for the most part in Louisville, except for two
years when I was, you know, in my thirties, I went out to Los Angeles. Otherwise, I've lived
here. All the siblings pretty much have lived here except for Coreen. And circumstances took
her away. She she was got married to someone who was in the Air Force and went down to
Tampa Bay for a while, but otherwise we were Louisville bound. We stayed here, our parents
stayed here, and you were always kind of the outlier. And and so, I mean, I definitely felt that
from my perspective growing up. But you it felt this way for obviously you said from a very
young age. So.
Mark Fryer Right.
Theresa Stephens Yeah. And you told me something earlier that I never realized, which is you
were you had your bags packed and you were headed out. At ten years old. Tell me more
about that.
Mark Fryer So I don't know the genesis of this. I don't know why I was. Well, I do know this. I
was, for whatever reason, grade school. I was big into World War Two gear.
Theresa Stephens So really.
Mark Fryer Uh, just I read all the books on artillery and tanks and that sort of thing, and no
idea why, but I was really into it. Um, and so, uh, yeah, I was a gear head going, you know,
since then I've really become a gear head, but back then, even I was really into it. And so, um, 
I don't know what where this came from, but I can tell you from, uh, a very early age and ten
years old being, I think, around that age when the first time I realized this is that my compass
pointed west.
Theresa Stephens Really?
Mark Fryer There was no doubt about it. A lot of it, I think, were Native Americans. I was really
into just the whole lore, the the stories, the different tribes. You know, dad and I were we were
part of, uh, a group similar to the Boy Scouts, which was the white Indian guide.
Theresa Stephens I remember that vaguely now that you were. Now that you're talking about
that. Wow. Yeah.
Mark Fryer And I believe it was a national group. And, uh, the deal was, is that it was, you
know, boys and their fathers would come together and, uh, you picked, uh, a tribe that you
were, and we were the Seminoles.
Theresa Stephens Mhm.
Mark Fryer Okay. And it was, uh, you did all things you like. We made these leather vests. We,
uh, made headbands. We, uh, talked Indian stuff and, uh, went on some, uh, like, hikes and
things like that, but yeah, I was I think that was a part of me being directed, a small part of me
being directed to the West. But it was I mean, it was a compass heading that just it was like a
strong magnet that this is where I'm going. So back to you were asking about this trip. I may
have read a little Huckleberry Finn, Tom Sawyer, but I don't really recall. I can't say that for
sure, but I would think that that influenced me some to some degree.
Theresa Stephens Makes sense. Yeah. So what happened? Did you back up?
Mark Fryer So this I had planned this for a while and.
Theresa Stephens Then again at ten.
Mark Fryer At ten. And you asked me earlier if it was I was running away and it really was not
me running away. It was running to something. Wow. And, uh, looking back on it now, I think it
was running towards adventure. Um, and, uh, that's what I wanted. It wasn't um, again, the the
family dynamic at home was stable for the most part.
Theresa Stephens Um.
Mark Fryer I had a great relationship with mom. Dad was, you know, it was always solid. He
was always there for us. Um, so it wasn't like, I don't know, there wasn't anything so negative
that I want to get away from it. But I want it to go. And wow, I was ready. So here was my plan.
I had, uh, my gear that I had. I thought I had squirreled away, and, um, I don't know. I mean,
there was a chance that mom knew I was doing this, that I was getting this together. But there
was a chance she didn't. And I don't recall ever having a conversation about it, whether she
knew or not when we were both adults. But I had packed up at a rubber raft. Two paddles.
Theresa Stephens Really?
Mark Fryer Oh, yeah.
Theresa Stephens I'm imagining ten year old Mark doing this, I love it.
Mark Fryer I had a World War two ammo box, you know, that kept your kept your ammo, your
bullets dry. And and inside that I had things like. I mean, I had a Swiss army knife, which, you
know, giant, this giant Swiss army knife. I had food to last me for several days. I made, uh,
peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and a bunch of packaged goodies, you know, just little
debbies and whatnot.
Theresa Stephens And that's where they disappeared to when I was little. Uh. All right.
Mark Fryer Uh, clothes. All the clothes on my back was all I needed. Mom was hosting a
bunco night. She belonged to bunco club with all the women, her women friends.
Theresa Stephens I remember all those tables being set up in the kitchen. Right?
Mark Fryer Right. And so, um, I think the the reason why it was going to happen this day is
that I had been planning it, but she had been ignoring me because she was getting ready, and
I felt ignored. And it was time to leave this uncivilized world, get out to the wilderness. And so
my plan was the following morning is I was getting up. I was going to leave before dawn. I was
going to walk the two miles, and we lived two miles from the Ohio River. Yes, along the flood
wall and the flood wall was this, um, artificial stream that was carved between two sections of
the Ohio River to it was literally a flood wall to keep it from flooding. And so I was going to walk
down the flood wall to where it met the Ohio River, blow up my raft and get in my raft and float
down the Ohio all the way to the Mississippi. Well, there's way to the Gulf of Mexico.
Theresa Stephens There's definitely a Huck Finn influence in here somewhere, for sure. You
had to have read it.
Mark Fryer That's what I'm thinking. I had to I think you're right.
Theresa Stephens And so how was this incredible thought out plan thwarted?
Mark Fryer Well, soon before the whole bunco night started, that mom came to me and said I
and apologized for ignoring me and, um, just not giving me enough attention that day. And she
gave me a kiss and said she was sorry. And so I felt it was, you know, I could forgive her and
not leave the following morning.
Theresa Stephens But that call of Go West young man stayed with you? Yes, very.
Mark Fryer Much.
Theresa Stephens So. So fast forward. You stayed with the family. Thank goodness, because
we had a wonderful, you know, another seven years, nine years with you. You graduate from
high school, you do go to EKU, Eastern Kentucky University for two or three semesters.
Mark Fryer Six weeks.
Theresa Stephens Six weeks? Yes. Okay. Wow. You were there for six weeks.
Mark Fryer Six weeks? That was enough.
Theresa Stephens And then what happened?
Mark Fryer Well, it was, um, I just I had a hard time getting my footing there to begin with.
Theresa Stephens Yeah.
Mark Fryer I wasn't ready for it. So I came back, lived with mom and dad for the next year.
Okay. Um, and then went back the following year and did three semesters at EKU.
Theresa Stephens Gotcha. So you're about how old at this point?
Mark Fryer Uh nineteen.
Theresa Stephens You're at nineteen? Yes. And this is when you embark on your first solo
travel, right?
Mark Fryer My plans with solo travel tend to be getting on a plane or a bus and letting things
happen from there.
Theresa Stephens And that's it. No thought out itinerary. You don't have places you know that
are already reserved, where of course they didn't have Airbnb back then, but no hotels
planned, no end game basically.
Mark Fryer Yes. That describes it. Yes.
Theresa Stephens So at nineteen, was it a plane or was it a bus?
Mark Fryer It was a bus. So I was nineteen. It was a few months. So I decided to take a
semester off. I was trying to figure out what I wanted to study in college, what I wanted to do
with my life. I'm still trying. I had done some. I was working in Louisville back with Mom and
dad at their house for a while. Um, and it was it was May, and I decided, I mean, I really just I
wanted to go and I'd been wanting to do an out west trip for quite a while. Um, didn't have the
funds to do it. Didn't have the time to do it. Didn't know exactly how to make it happen. So I
bought a round trip bus ticket on Greyhound to go to Denver and back to Louisville. Okay, so.
Theresa Stephens Um, how long had you planned to be gone at this point?
Mark Fryer Uh, the plan was to go out for a week or two just to get, uh. I love the idea of the
mountains. I, uh, you know, Denver, the West seemed, uh, again, just that pull towards the
west was there.
Theresa Stephens Right.
Mark Fryer Um, so, uh, and the mountains, I wanted to experience the mountains and see 
what that was really like with Louisville.
Theresa Stephens We have a couple of hills, and that's about it, so. Yes. I can't even imagine.
So you get on the bus and you head west.
Mark Fryer Uh, get on the bus, I head west, I get to Denver. It's May fifteenth, and I remember
the date just, uh, mid-May, the Ides of May.
Theresa Stephens Mhm.
Mark Fryer And I get to Denver and it's snowing. It's May fifteenth. I have this jacket, a
lightweight jacket is the heaviest thing I have, and there's no way I'm going to be able to be
there with snow, right? And of course, I didn't know weather patterns that, you know, that this
was.
Theresa Stephens It didn't even enter your mind. It's mid-May here in Louisville. It's probably
sixty at least, if not seventy already. So why wouldn't it be out there?
Mark Fryer And even in Denver, I know now, having lived twenty years in Colorado, that it
would have passed and it would have been sunny in a few days and, you know, sixty degrees,
right? But I didn't know that. So I'm at the I pull into this Greyhound bus station in the middle of
downtown Denver.
Theresa Stephens Mhm.
Mark Fryer And there were derelicts. There were some drunks and you know. ET cetera. ET
cetera. Just hanging out as they want to do in bus stations. And um, it was snowing and
snowing fairly heavily. Wow. And it was night time. I didn't have a place to go. I had fifty dollars
in my pocket. That was my budget.
Theresa Stephens That was it for a week or two.
Mark Fryer Uh, hopefully. I was hoping it'd be a lot longer, but I, you know, minimum. I was
thinking a couple of weeks.
Theresa Stephens Okay. And remind us, what year was this?
Mark Fryer This was nineteen eighty four.
Theresa Stephens Okay. So it was a while ago, but still twenty years ago. But still, fifty dollars
isn't a lot of money to last for a couple of weeks, right? If not more.
Mark Fryer Yeah, that was forty years ago.
Theresa Stephens So you're pretty much ill prepared for the weather and where to stay. You
just kind of. You've got the bus ticket, but that's as far pretty much as you're thinking went.
Mark Fryer Right.
Theresa Stephens So how did you deal with it?
Mark Fryer So I, um.
Theresa Stephens Literal shock to the system.
Mark Fryer It was it was definitely a shock. And, you know, it was it was night time snowing. I,
um, I knew there was a hostel in Denver I could go to. And, you know, that had been the
original plan to get there, go to the hostel for a few days, you know, explore around Denver
and then go from there. But I felt I had no choice at that point. So I did pivot and I went back
and I went to the ticket office and exchanged my round trip back to Louisville for a one way
ticket to LA.
Theresa Stephens Okay, okay. Hold on. Okay. So you you do this round trip ticket to Denver.
You arrive in Denver, it's snowing. You have fifty dollars. And so your choices could have been
just go to the hostel, kind of hunker down, figure out what to do next, come back home.
Instead, you go even further out. And so now you have a one way ticket. So no return ticket at
all. And you had even further west. Yes. Before we continue. Do you remember how you felt at
the time of all this uncertainty with traveling? Because some people, you know, some people
can do it where they just kind of go on a whim. They have some general ideas of what they
want to do. Other people need a strict itinerary because that's where they feel safe. Do you
remember back then how you felt with this uncertainty and having to change and literally like
you, what you said pivot almost immediately as soon as you get there?
Mark Fryer I do because it hasn't changed much. It, um.
Theresa Stephens Who you are.
Mark Fryer Who I am, and how I approach things. And I do understand that. I mean, some
people have to have the plan. They have to have the schedule. Um, and, you know, I
understand that I have many friends like that. I certainly understand it. And, um, you know, we
are who we are, and, uh, we operate that way. But again, for better or worse, I've flown by the
seat of my pants often my whole life. And so my driving force was adventure. I wanted to and I
wanted to explore. I wanted to see what was out there. The West was, I don't know, I just, uh, I
had this idea of of its magnificence And, um, I just, uh. I wanted to see it. It was different. You
know, I the photos, I remember seeing the photos and seeing movies, particularly the Clint
Eastwood, the spaghetti westerns, where, you know, he's in the high Plains or he's in the
mountains, and just the idea that how different it looked, um, you know, and so I was, um, I
was excited to see it. And so the idea of getting back on the bus and heading further west and
seeing more of the west, it felt exciting. And I think one thought that I had maybe it wasn't
clarified in my mind as well as it is now, but the one thought I, I operated on was, what's the
worst that can happen, right? And for me, the worst that could happen was I was going to end
up sticking my thumb out and hitchhiking back to Louisville and regrouping. Right. So that was
the worst. You know, I, I I was a very athletic, strong young man, so I wasn't fearful of getting
attacked or anything.
Theresa Stephens So safety wasn't a concern for you at this point.
Mark Fryer It wasn't, even though there were some harrowing points through travel, but even 
with those it happening. They felt like one offs. And, um, it wasn't what I was encountering on a
daily basis.
Theresa Stephens Right.
Mark Fryer So, um, I wasn't fearful of that.
Theresa Stephens You changed direction literally, and headed out to LA. So how did that go
when you arrived?
Mark Fryer So I arrive in LA in the bus station again. And where there were the few guys
there. Same exact guys. Yeah, they must have been, you know, on top of the bus. But I get out
there, but tenfold.
Theresa Stephens Really.
Mark Fryer Well, Denver is it's a smaller place. It's true. And it's colder. so there are less
people and, you know, not to insult those folks who like to frequent bus stations, but.
Theresa Stephens Right, right.
Mark Fryer Um, but there are a lot more people in LA. And for me, it just, uh, where I think
there's still a midwestern, Western sort of small town feel to Denver. It was huge. There was a
huge shift in LA, and it was a little scary for me. It was, uh, the bus station in LA was it felt big.
It felt urban. It felt a little crazy. So I bought another ticket from there to go to a smaller town,
and I went to San Bernardino.
Theresa Stephens Okay.
Mark Fryer Just, you know, somewhat outside of LA, what caused me to pick that is that it is
the small mountains, the Sierra madres. And so it was also the mountains that I wanted to get
to. And that was, uh, that was a big draw for me on the whole trip. So I arrive in San
Bernardino. It's. It's nine o'clock at night. No idea where to go. There were no hostels around.
Theresa Stephens Okay.
Mark Fryer And remember, this was a time where you didn't get on your phone and find out
where, right? A local Airbnb or the local hostel was.
Theresa Stephens Exactly.
Mark Fryer So I ended up spending the first night behind a convenience store.
Theresa Stephens Behind it.
Mark Fryer Behind it.
Theresa Stephens Out in the.
Mark Fryer Open. Dumper. Dumper. Next to a dump. Dumpster. Correct.
Theresa Stephens Wow. So you spend the night next to a dumpster out in the open?
Mark Fryer I was tired, I was exhausted from travel. I had no idea where to go. I had no where
to go. And I just wanted to get to sleep.
Theresa Stephens Mhm.
Mark Fryer I mean, I did have a sleeping bag with me and a pad and it was a flat spot and I
did it, I went to sleep.
Theresa Stephens Tell me how you were feeling at this point.
Mark Fryer I was just so exhausted that it was it felt nice to lay down.
Theresa Stephens And that's all. You just wanted to focus on sleeping first. Right. So you
wake up the next morning, you've got some sleep, I hope. And now what's your thought
process? What's your your outlook on this trip so far?
Mark Fryer So I did have a map with me.
Theresa Stephens Oh, the paper maps.
Mark Fryer Yes. The paper maps. And I had picked one up in the LA bus station, one of
California, Southern California, and I was looking at the where the mountains were and how to
get there. So I found the closest road that would take me up into the San Bernardino
Mountains and started hitchhiking.
Theresa Stephens Oh, wow. Did you have good luck? Was it easy? I've never hitchhiked in
my entire life. Not one time.
Mark Fryer So this was. This was nineteen eighty four. And at that time, it wasn't that unusual.
Yet it wasn't usual, for sure, but it was done. You would still see people with their thumbs out
on the road. It was, uh, not that uncommon. And I was obviously a young traveler. I had a big
North Face blue backpack on my back.
Theresa Stephens Oh, wow.
Mark Fryer Which it was a great signal to everyone that. Look, I'm traveling. I'm not some
murderer on the side of the road.
Theresa Stephens Right, exactly. Unless a very well disguised murderer. Right.
Mark Fryer So I catch a ride pretty quickly, make my way into the mountains, get dropped off
and the first. So I'm walking along, and again, I have no place to go. So I'm not late for
anything. I'm not lost. I don't know where I am.
Theresa Stephens But you're not lost. But you don't know where you are. I love that. Yeah,
that is the line of Marc Fryer's life right there. Ah, yes.
Mark Fryer And the first person I encounter is this young mother. She has two children. She 
picks me up. I've done some hitchhiking in Europe, and which is it's not uncommon to get
picked up by a woman, a parent, a mother. But and I this is probably the only woman who
picked me up at that time in the United States.
Theresa Stephens Oh, wow.
Mark Fryer She picks me up. She has two young kids with her, and she takes me to her
house.
Theresa Stephens Okay.
Mark Fryer She is actually a little upset at me for doing this to my mom.
Theresa Stephens Hahaha. She's scolding you.
Mark Fryer She's scolding me. So she takes me to her house. She makes me call mom
immediately and tell her that I'm safe and where I am. And she talks to mom on the phone.
Theresa Stephens Wow.
Mark Fryer And tells her yes, he's here with me. He's fine. And she makes me like, three giant
sandwiches.
Theresa Stephens Literally. My next question after this was, have you even eaten? So that's
good to know that you're you're fed.
Mark Fryer Well, it was it was so kind. I mean, I was I was really hungry. I had, um, a small
something at the convenience store that I slept behind.
Theresa Stephens Did you go into the dumpster and get more food? Okay, good.
Mark Fryer It wasn't that bad, but she was really super kind. She got me set up. She drove me
to the next link on the turnpike and set me in the right direction where I want to go, and I went
further up into the mountains and ended up spending. It was four or five days and, um, the San
Bernardino Mountains outside. Uh, I was camping, you know, just sleeping, hiking, camping
and.
Theresa Stephens And did you have the appropriate clothing for the mountains of California?
Mark Fryer It was a little chillier up there than it was in, uh, in the valleys, that's for sure. But I
was comfortable enough. Okay, good. And I was able to sleep. Okay. And, uh, I was having my
adventure. I was loving it.
Theresa Stephens I was. And you were out west. Finally.
Mark Fryer I was out west. I was seeing the mountains.
Theresa Stephens Mhm.
Mark Fryer It's the desert. It's the. It's the desert there. So from there, after four or five days, I 
made my way to Barstow, California.
Theresa Stephens Okay. How far away is that?
Mark Fryer I don't recall, but it wasn't that far away. But Barstow is in the desert, whereas San
Bernardino is. You know, the mountains are still the high desert, but Barstow is. You're in the
Mojave. I believe it's on the edge of the Mojave.
Theresa Stephens Wow.
Mark Fryer So that's where I'm thinking. Okay, I've been out. And at this point, it was about a
week in California, maybe a little longer. I'd been traveling. I'd saw some things.
Theresa Stephens Um.
Mark Fryer My very small when I started, the fifty dollars I started with was dwindling.
Theresa Stephens I'm sure. I'm sure even with backpacking and just sleeping outside. Not in
a, you know, a hotel or a motel or anything like that. Still, that money's got to be dwindling fairly
quickly at this point.
Mark Fryer It was. It was. And, uh, I was being very thrifty, but I knew that if I wanted to be
able to eat on my way back to Louisville.
Theresa Stephens And you were still thinking about this is just a temporary trip that you were
going to come back to Louisville afterwards. Okay?
Mark Fryer Yes. The whole trip, I was thinking, would be two to three weeks.
Theresa Stephens Okay.
Mark Fryer Something along those lines.
Theresa Stephens So did you have enough money? And where do you go from here?
Mark Fryer The next logical place to go from Barstow is Las Vegas. It was the next largest
town. So I'm hitchhiking and I get picked up by this man who is in his mid thirties.
Theresa Stephens Okay.
Mark Fryer Las Vegas is four hours away or so, and he's in this night, maybe in nineteen fifty
eight, nineteen sixty Ford truck. And this thing would top out at maybe fifty miles an hour. It
was a beater. It was at that point it was thirty five years old.
Speaker 3 Oh, wow.
Mark Fryer So I'm in the truck with him and we start to talk, and he's interested in what I'm
doing and why I'm doing it. And it turns out that he is a new age preacher of some sort.
Theresa Stephens New age preacher.
Mark Fryer New age.
Theresa Stephens Preacher.
Mark Fryer Okay, yeah, he's a preacher with exclamation marks around it. But he was I mean,
he had a he had a church. He had a following. Oh, it was I, it was not a Christian church.
Theresa Stephens Okay. Does cult basically a cult, a cult?
Mark Fryer Yeah, exactly. And he kept offering me Kool-Aid.
Theresa Stephens Hmm. Very interesting.
Mark Fryer Yes, but he was. He was very interesting, actually. And, uh, he was very cool. Uh,
we had a great conversation. We chatted for four straight hours on our way to Las Vegas.
Theresa Stephens Mhm.
Mark Fryer We get to Las Vegas and I asked him, he asked me where do I take you? And I
said Las Vegas.
Theresa Stephens Just pretty much anywhere will do.
Mark Fryer So he's going to meet a friend there and spend the night. So I tell him just to take
me to the bus station.
Theresa Stephens You're very familiar with him at this point? Yeah.
Mark Fryer Bus stations are. Yeah, exactly. Your people home in on them. So we're going to
the bus station, and I asked him, where are you going after this? What are you doing? What's
your what's your situation? And he lives in Tampa Bay, Florida.
Theresa Stephens Oh, wow.
Mark Fryer And he tells me that he's heading back to he's driving cross country from
California, back to Tampa Bay.
Theresa Stephens In that truck at fifty mile per hour.
Mark Fryer fifty miles an hour.
Theresa Stephens Okey dokey.
Mark Fryer So a few minutes, maybe a half an hour before we get there, get to the bus
station. I ask him if he would give me a ride to Tampa Bay.
Theresa Stephens Wow. Okay. Another pivot. Another giant pivot. Why? Why not end it in Las
Vegas? Why Tampa Bay? Why continue on?
Mark Fryer Corrine was living there.
Theresa Stephens Mhm.
Mark Fryer So I figured he brings up Tampa Bay.
Theresa Stephens At that time.
Mark Fryer And you know Tampa Bay is on the water. It's in Florida. And we had been there
but I didn't know it that well.
Theresa Stephens Mhm.
Mark Fryer We didn't vacation a lot as kids.
Theresa Stephens That's true. We did not. So this is all very new.
Mark Fryer Right? So I ask him because again, I'm just on this trip. I don't have any particular
place to go.
Theresa Stephens Right?
Mark Fryer He, uh he hems and haws a bit, and then by the time we talk about it a little more,
by the time we get to the bus station, he agrees to do it.
Theresa Stephens That's amazing.
Mark Fryer However, it's eight o'clock at night at this point, he's going to go spend the night
with his friends. So he drops me off the bus station with the promise of coming back and
picking me up in the morning.
Speaker 3 Wow.
Theresa Stephens And did you believe him at all?
Mark Fryer I actually did.
Theresa Stephens Yeah.
Mark Fryer But I also knew there was a good chance that he wasn't going to show.
Theresa Stephens Right.
Mark Fryer It would make sense if he didn't. I wouldn't hold it against him. But, um, so.
Theresa Stephens It seems almost and literally, of all the places that he could be traveling to,
his final destination was a place where our sister was currently living.
Mark Fryer Maybe I don't question that and maybe that is the case, but if he would have said,
I'm going to Rhode Island, I probably would have gone Rhode Island.
Theresa Stephens That's exactly where I wanted to go. That was my next thought.
Mark Fryer Next morning.
Theresa Stephens He showed.
Mark Fryer Up, shows up at eight a m, just like he said.
Theresa Stephens Crazy. Wow.
Mark Fryer He was, uh. He. Well, he was a preacher man. So he was, uh, he was an honest
guy. And he picks me up and we begin this journey. Uh, that took three days total from Barstow
to Tampa Bay.
Theresa Stephens Wow.
Mark Fryer We go to New Mexico, we go to Arizona, and then in New Mexico, we make a stop
at a friend of his there. And it was the first time that I'd been truly in a desert situation, and I
was stunned by it.
Theresa Stephens Yeah.
Mark Fryer His friend that lived there, I don't recall the town or the area in New Mexico. The
house was the yard was sand. There were cacti all throughout the yard and it just I found it. So
it was stunning and it was it was exciting and it was wow, this is this is something that exists in
our country.
Theresa Stephens Right? Exactly. From this small world of where we grew up in Louisville
and not traveling as as children, as we grew up to going to Denver, to going to California, to
the mountains, to the desert, to Nevada. And now here I just as a as a nineteen year old, that
must have just been world changing for you.
Mark Fryer It was eye opening for sure. It was definitely eye opening. I just I was enjoying it.
Theresa Stephens Yeah.
Mark Fryer It was nice to have this this guy that I was traveling with who was really interesting
to talk to, and we talked constantly for nearly the whole trip, and we both had interesting things
to say. Um, he, uh, he had a big background in traveling and he knew the world. I mean, he
had friends all over. So anyway, we we continue our journey. We go through Texas, which
driving a truck at fifty miles an hour through Texas felt like four months. I bet we arrive in
Houston. We're staying. He's. He invited me to come with him and stay. He called ahead and
okayed it with his friends in Houston to go spend the night there on our way to Tampa Bay. We
get to Houston, and this house is the biggest house I've seen in my life.
Theresa Stephens Really?
Mark Fryer It is a complete mansion. Very wealthy friends we had. We each had our own
room. Ensuite bathroom. They lent me clothes to go out to dinner because no shape to go to
dinner. I didn't have the clothes to go to dinner, but I had the best Mexican food in my life. Real
Mexican food for the first time? Yeah, I think so. You know.
Theresa Stephens Not the cheese that we had in Louisville.
Mark Fryer Exactly right.
Theresa Stephens Yeah.
Mark Fryer So, uh, did that get back on the road, make our way down across New Orleans,
the panhandle.
Theresa Stephens Wow.
Mark Fryer Head south from there and arrive in Tampa Bay.
Theresa Stephens Oh my goodness, what a journey at nineteen years old. That's amazing.
Mark Fryer It was it was very good.
Theresa Stephens I mean, your first trip, like your first solo travel trip pretty much beats
anything, you know, that I've done up to this point. That's incredible. Good for you. Good for
you for having the courage to do that. You know? And that's what it took. I mean, you may not
see it or that even entered your brain. You were just so driven for the adventure and for going
out West that, you know, the idea of it being a courageous act probably never even entered
your mind. But for me, as my older brother, and seeing you do that and hearing you talk about
it, even now, I see how courageous that that was, you know, from a very small world that we
lived in and grew up in to literally seeing the entire country basically in one trip, almost.
Mark Fryer It's true. It's true.
Theresa Stephens That's fantastic. And so you went back. You finished college, correct?
Mark Fryer Uh, at that time, no, I went back and I finished, uh, half of college.
Theresa Stephens So you're just taking your time? That's okay. That's okay.
Mark Fryer I still felt this. This pull west, and I felt this desire to, uh, just to call it adventuring,
for lack of a better term. But it was a desire to see what was out there, to seek something. I
didn't know what it was I was seeking, but I looking back, it was adventure. It was doing
something different. It was exploring that sort of thing. So I go back, spend a couple of years in
in college. I'm finished my sophomore year or whatnot, and that's when I did my next my next
solo trip.
Theresa Stephens Okay. And where did you go this time?
Mark Fryer So this is the one you may remember mom talking about this. My mother, our
mother. I asked her to do something very difficult and.
Theresa Stephens Again.
Mark Fryer Was.
Theresa Stephens Yes.
Mark Fryer I asked her to drive me to the Watterson Expressway and drop me off at an on
ramp.
Theresa Stephens What? And let's just be clear who our mother was. She. She was a very,
very nervous woman who did not have a sense of adventure and was very afraid of pretty
much everything. And for you to ask her to do this. And how old were you at this time?
Mark Fryer So at this time, I was, uh, twenty.
Speaker 3 Wow.
Mark Fryer Yes.
Theresa Stephens And she did it.
Mark Fryer She took it. It was, I think she I realized in retrospect, of course, just how strong
she was in that act of being able to take me and drop me off at an on ramp.
Theresa Stephens Oh my God.
Mark Fryer To go. To get a hitchhike, a ride. Of course, she had no idea what was. She just
saw me dead by the side of the road. Of course.
Theresa Stephens Oh. Of course. Oh, I remember, I do remember that, right. It was a tough
time. Did you have a destination in mind this time?
Mark Fryer So I was going out to Vail.
Theresa Stephens Okay. Back out west.
Mark Fryer This was, uh, it was October, and I believe it was nineteen eighty five. I want to go
back out west. Yes, it was the reason I actually had a bit of a destination, a bit of a reason to
go out there. And that was to work in the resort industry over the winter.
Theresa Stephens Perfect.
Mark Fryer I'm going out mid-October. I eventually get out there mid-October. They open the
resorts at November fifteenth, but they told me that it was too early to be applying for a
position. I was staying at this, uh, I had found a an apartment with a bunch of other people.
Theresa Stephens That you knew or didn't know.
Mark Fryer Did not.
Theresa Stephens Know. Okay.
Mark Fryer I met him there.
Theresa Stephens Okay.
Mark Fryer And I was just paying for the week. So I was in Vail for a week trying to get a job, 
trying to figure it out. And they weren't hiring yet. Oh, it was deserted at this time. All the
mountain resorts or whatnot. There were people there all year round. But then it was you were
there for the winter or were you there for the summer? That was it.
Theresa Stephens Right.
Mark Fryer And so I stayed in Vail for a week looking for a job.
Theresa Stephens Mhm.
Mark Fryer It wasn't happening. Yeah. It was time to do something different of course.
Theresa Stephens And again like we've learned so far you easily do. It's time to pivot. Right.
So what did you do instead.
Mark Fryer So I was still interested in Denver. I'm still interested in the whole uh, in Colorado
in general.
Theresa Stephens Mhm.
Mark Fryer I hitchhiked my way back down the mountain. Wow. I go to Denver.
Theresa Stephens Mhm.
Mark Fryer Stay in a hostel for several days, explore around the city, figure some things out. I
found a an apartment rental, a short term apartment rental in downtown Denver. Stayed there
for several weeks. Realized that it wasn't going to be something I wasn't ready to stay to move
there or anything.
Theresa Stephens Right.
Mark Fryer Um, but I was getting my travel in, and this is what I wanted to do. I didn't have a
definite plan of how long I was going to be there, but it was three or four weeks in, and I
hitchhiked back to Louisville.
Theresa Stephens Okay. Again, this was eighties, mid eighties, right? Life is very different.
How do you think it would have been different had you done this in an era where there's, you
know, the internet and cell phones and all the modern conveniences? Would it have had the
same, like, allure. You know, flying by the seat of your pants. Had you had that stuff available
to you, do you think it would have made it better or worse?
Mark Fryer I don't know. It would have just been different. And I say that because a later trip
that I did just two years ago, I purposely did not have internet on my phone in Southeast Asia
because I didn't want to be connected the whole time, and it forced me to go back and to travel
like I did back then.
Speaker 3 Yeah.
Mark Fryer And this was where I was staying in hotels and whatnot. I was I was accessing an 
internet through their internet, but a lot of time I was on the road and not doing it. So I don't
know if it would have been better or worse. It would have just been different. And it certainly
would have been easier, I think.
Theresa Stephens Oh, a thousand percent easier for sure.
Mark Fryer Right.
Theresa Stephens So if you are thinking that is the end of the saga, that is Mark Fryer's life.
You are very much mistaken. He was just getting started and continues to this day. We talked
for probably a couple of hours, and I had to call it at some point for the first episode, and just
literally start up an entire second episode, which you will hear next week. And it goes a little bit
more into the latter part of Mark's life. As as life often does, it takes a left turn and a right turn
and spins you around quite a bit. And Mark found himself at a crossroads a little bit later in life.
And solo travel, I do believe, rescued him quite a few more times later on in life. And you will
find that on the next episode of Rome Alone, solo travel shared stories.