Long-term Solo Travel: 4 Years, 36 Countries & A Date in Every One

What does it look like to leave everything behind and travel the world solo — not for two weeks, but for four years straight? In this episode of Roam Alone, host Theresa Stephens sits down with Loni James, a fearless long-term solo traveler who has explored 36 countries since setting off on her journey after the loss of her mother to Alzheimer's disease.

Loni's story is equal parts heartbreaking and inspiring — a testament to the healing power of travel, the unexpected joy of vulnerability, and the freedom that comes from designing a life completely on your own terms. Whether you're dreaming of your first solo trip or wondering if long-term travel is even possible on a budget, this episode is packed with real, actionable wisdom from someone who has truly lived it.

In This Episode, You'll Discover:

•       What sparked Loni's decision to leave her life behind and travel the world solo after losing her mom

•       How she has sustained 4 years and 36 countries of continuous solo travel — and what she's learned along the way

•       Her unique practice of "a date in every country" — what it is, why she started it, and the book she's writing about it

•       Her best cost-saving strategies for affordable long-term travel (including tips most people never think about)

•       How to stay safe, sane, and connected as a solo female traveler for the long haul

•       Advice for anyone who wants to take the leap but doesn't know where to start

Key Takeaways 

•       Grief can be a catalyst. Loni didn't let loss stop her — she let it redirect her toward the life she truly wanted to live.

•       Long-term solo travel is a skill. Like any skill, it gets easier, more intuitive, and more rewarding the longer you practice it.

•       Connection is everywhere when you're open to it. Loni's "a date in every country" practice is really about curiosity — asking what each place and each person has to teach you.

•       Budget travel is a mindset. You don't have to be rich to travel long-term — you have to be resourceful, flexible, and willing to do things differently than most tourists.

•       Solo doesn't mean alone. The solo travel community is real, warm, and waiting for you.

About Loni

Loni is a long-term solo traveler, fearless adventurer, and soon-to-be author who has spent the last four years exploring 36 countries across the globe. What began as a journey of healing after losing her mother to early-onset Alzheimer's evolved into a full, vibrant life lived entirely on the road. Known for her unique practice of going on a date in every country she visits, Loni is currently writing a book about these experiences. She believes deeply that solo travel is not just possible for women — it is transformative.

Connect with Loni: https://www.instagram.com/jamesloni

Links Mentioned

•       Matador pocket blanket

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Roam Alone is hosted by Theresa Stephens.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:01

Hey Roamers, welcome back to Roam Alone, the podcast for those who travel solo, travel boldly, travel on their own terms. I'm your host, Teresa Stevens. Today's episode is brought to you by the letter F. As in Fearless, my guest is going to absolutely blow your mind. Lonnie has been traveling the world solo for four years. Four years. 36 countries. No home base, no expiration date, and spoiler alert, no regrets. Lonnie's journey started from one of life's most heartbreaking moments, losing her mom to Alzheimer's. And rather than letting grief anchor her, she let it launch her. What unfolded is one of the most beautiful stories of reinvention, courage, and radical self-trust I've ever heard. In this episode, we dig into what it really takes to sustain long-term solo travel, the logistics, the encounters with strangers, the absolute magic. We talk about her incredible practice of a date in every country, which she is actually turning into a book. And yes, we get lots of details. And if you've ever wondered how people actually afford to travel long term, Lonnie breaks down her best money-saving strategies so you can make it work on a real budget. This one is for anyone who's ever stared out a window and thought, what if? Let's get into it. So my guest today is Lonnie James. Welcome to the show, Lonnie. I'm so glad you're on today. Thank you so much for having me. I'm really excited to be here. So usually when I ask someone to come on, it's because they've traveled solo for like a week or a long weekend, their first time, or maybe a month, maybe a month and a half. Four years and 36 countries. So you win. You win all the medals. That's amazing. Thank you so much. Like, how do we how do we even get started talking about this incredible adventure you've been on? How about what led you to first make that decision to leave home and start traveling solo?

SPEAKER_00 2:21

That is a great question. I had fallen in love with travel as a teenager and truly felt like it was my calling and it made me the happiest version of myself. And so I was always seeking to make travel happen in my life, whether it was studying abroad in college or working for a travel company at one point. But I really wanted to go overseas full-time. Unfortunately, my mom was sick for a really long time. And so I wasn't comfortable leaving for an indefinite period. But she was sick for years and years. And at some point, 10 years had passed and I had put my dreams on hold. She had early onset Alzheimer at a very young age. And so it was a rough process. I wouldn't wish on anybody, but it also provided a lot of context into my life because I watched my parents who had done everything right. They, you know, went to church. They had a beautiful family. They were college educated. They were extremely happily married. And my mom didn't even get the privilege of growing old or retiring. And so all of these things that they had worked towards in their life were suddenly taken away. And I looked at that and was like, I don't want the option to be taken away from me for travel. So I'd rather prioritize making it happen now. And so I really started to make a plan and start saving aggressively because I figured money was the biggest challenge when looking to travel for a long period of time. And you've made it work. I mean, four years now. Well, that was not the plan. There wasn't a set period of time when I left. I just saved as much money as I could and I figured it would maybe be a year, a year and a half. And a bit of the foundation of that was that my mother passed away. And so I really grief stricken and also motivated to chase my dreams with having a new realization that time is a gift. I sold everything. I quit my job. I sold my car, my clothes, my books, my furniture, and I said, I'm going for it. And I didn't even have an itinerary. I had one thing booked when I left. And that was a hundred-mile hike through the Alps, despite having never solo hiked before. And I was like, I want to do this thing, and that's the only thing on my calendar. And the rest I'll figure out. And here we are, four years later.

SPEAKER_01 4:40

That is, I mean, that is mind-blowing because I, you know, I've talked to people who are gearing up to take their first solo trip ever. And it's, you know, it's an all-inclusive, it's maybe like Chicago, a couple of hours away. It's something very small, and you just went for it. Did you have any fears or what were your biggest fears when you were setting out on this, even just this very first uh very long hike?

SPEAKER_00 5:10

To be honest, I don't know that I had a lot of fears. I think there was a lot of excitement. And my friends tease me that they say that I have the confidence of a mediocre white man in that I will just say yes to things and realize that there will be a struggle or a challenge or a problem. I'm just really confident in myself and my problem-solving skills. So it's okay if something goes wrong, I'll figure it out. And I think that has actually helped a bit in the long-term travel because it's not a worry that something bad is going to happen. I actually have the expectation that things will go wrong. I just have developed the skills and have become really good at problem solving and also connecting with people and been on the receiving end of incredible generosity. And so I just things happen and we'll figure it out and we'll just keep going. That's amazing.

SPEAKER_01 6:03

I mean, when you have that attitude, yeah, you can figure anything out. So, how did your friends and your family react when you told them that you didn't have an itinerary or set point? You had one hike planned, and then you were just gonna keep going.

SPEAKER_00 6:18

I think nobody was terribly surprised because I had wanted to travel for so long and they knew that the years I spent working and saving towards this goal, everyone was very supportive of that. I think they were just curious to see who, what, when, and where and how it would all pan out. I think there were some people that were like, you have a really good job, and like, why don't you work a little longer and you know, buy a house and do some of those and travel later. And I specifically really truly felt after experiencing deep loss and grief and watching my mom pass at such a young age that retirement isn't guaranteed, life isn't guaranteed. We all watched COVID shutdown travel. Travel was always an option until it wasn't. And so I suddenly had this massive perspective shift in several areas where I really just felt, now I'm not putting these things off. And even specific places that I had previously, because I traveled a fair bit before, places that I wanted to go to, maybe with a partner or with a friend or something. I suddenly was like, nothing, I'm not waiting on anything anymore. I'm not waiting on anyone. So I'm gonna go to the romantic places by myself. I'm gonna have a good time and we'll just see how it goes. And I'm so glad I did. And I'm the timing ended up being perfect, but I also look back and I'm like, why did I wait for these adventures? Yeah, thinking that I needed to be with somebody because I really enjoyed the solo version of it.

SPEAKER_01 7:45

Absolutely. Now, if you don't mind me asking, when you started this, were you in your 20s decade, your 30s?

SPEAKER_00 7:52

This is a good question. I was 39, 39 years old when I left. I'm 43 now.

SPEAKER_01 7:58

You look like you're 25, is why I'm asking. Just got out of college.

SPEAKER_00 8:02

So you were 39, approaching. I was 39. Yeah, my mom passed when I was 38. And all of my 30s, I just I kind of kept pivoting, and this dream was there. And I was like, I can't wait anymore. And here's the thing: my mom couldn't say it at the time, but she had said it early on, and she was so supportive of my travels. She wouldn't have wanted me to wait. She would want me to do this. And she is where I get my most adventurous spirit. And so I just knew that this was something that she would have absolutely loved to witness and would have been, she would have jumped on a plane to come meet me somewhere and have some grand adventure if she'd been given a chance.

SPEAKER_01 8:39

Do you feel like she's you're carrying her with you whenever you're out?

SPEAKER_00 8:43

Absolutely. And here's just a tiny little bit because grief is something I wish people talked about more. I didn't talk about it a lot beforehand. And I have been blessed with incredible interactions with people when I've opened up and been a bit more vulnerable in sharing grief. I carry my mom's earrings with me. And when I go on some sort of like specific special adventure, I'll put them in. So when I went to Angor Wat in Cambodia, or when I do a motorcycle ride or a road trip, I will specifically put her earrings on as like a special way to like include her in the adventure. And that's just a little thing that I do. It's a way to take her with me.

SPEAKER_01 9:17

Yeah, absolutely. So the realities of long-term travel. Now I know you had mentioned before we started recording that you have come back. Uh your hometown is Spokane, and that you have come back over those four years, correct? Yes. But then you go right back out. Yes. Wherever the next adventure takes you. So, like I see your posts on social media and like it's adventure here and adventure here, and beautiful place, an amazing time, and what are you gonna do next? What's the reality of long-term travel versus what people see in social media?

SPEAKER_00 9:53

Yeah, that's a great question. And I think due to social media, it can look pretty glamorous. And it looks like life is always a vacation, and that is just not the truth of it all. Sometimes it is. And I try to share some of the struggles. Sometimes you can't really understand how bad it is until you're there and in the midst of it. More than anything, it can be a really exhausting form of life, the constantly packing up, the constant movement. So as I've traveled longer, I have slowed down in my pace because it's just not for me, it's not sustainable to rapidly keep moving. I don't like packing up all my stuff every couple days to move on to the next place. I think it's also mentally draining in some ways because you are constantly having to problem solve everything from how am I going to find groceries today to taking Google Translate and having to translate every label in the grocery store. You know how long your grocery run takes when you're trying to figure out what this vegetable is that you've never seen in your life, or you're looking for something familiar and there isn't anything familiar. And I really love trying new things, but it's a lot of researching. And then it's the how am I getting to the next place? What language or am I translating from one to the other? The currency exchange, the bartering, the negotiation, the is this just an Instagram recommendation, or am I connecting with locals to find out something that they recommend I should do? There's a lot of decision making and a lot of daily research and problem solving. And that gets really mentally draining. You're constantly on the move. You aren't necessarily having a lot of time to truly enjoy the space if you're trying to solve for the next place.

SPEAKER_01 11:37

Exactly. So what is the um the cadence for lack of a better word of how long you stay in a place? When do you know it's time to move on? Is it just a feeling that you get, or is it truly seated your pants kind of traveling? Or are you more planning now, now that it's been several years?

SPEAKER_00 11:56

And that's fair. It's changed a lot and it continues to change. I will say, I'm incredibly comfortable showing up to a place with nothing planned. If I'm lucky, I have the first one or two nights booked of where I'm sleeping, but it is not unheard of that I will show up and have no idea where I'm sleeping that night. That's very common for me. I personally enjoy that because I have found I have received some really great recommendations from locals that I'm not gonna find online. And I'm gonna get there and I'm gonna feel a sense of, oh, this is what I want or this isn't what I want. And I don't like being locked into a schedule when new opportunities present themselves, then I want to be able to say yes. So I like to be pretty fluid and not book myself too far out. That being said, whether it's visas or there's certain things that you're gonna do a busy touristy thing because it really is that great. And with that consideration, sometimes you have to book those in advance. And so you have to be locked in for those dates. Right now, I'm trying to slow down a little bit to create some more time for writing because I get too busy adventurous and don't sit working on my computer. So it ebbs and flows a little bit. I'm doing a little bit of house sitting now, and so that's been nice to kind of stay in one place and get a little bit of routine. Then I get the itch and I suddenly need a road trip in my life and some newness and some unplanned, uncharted territory.

SPEAKER_01 13:20

So and actually, that was my next question is you know, so many people need some kind of routine in their life, something that grounds them in a place. But when you are constantly moving, you never really have that. Or do you?

SPEAKER_00 13:35

Um, I would actually say that I tend to be very few routines that I hold. It really ebbs and flows based on where I am and what style of travel that I'm doing. Things that I like having is I like going on daily walks. I really like journaling every day. I like to do morning pages and encourage my writing and kind of settle into that. But that's really hard when you're road tripping and getting up at sunrise or going on a hike to try to remember to carve out that time at the same time every day. So, in that regard, I don't have a ton of routines. I will have them for a period of time when I'm able to. So, house sitting, it was so nice to be able to have a kitchen and cook meals and do catch-up calls with friends and take the dog on a walk every day. That sort of thing was really, really lovely. But then literally a week later, I'm sleeping in my car in the highlands of Scotland, having no idea where I'm going and where I'm gonna end up. And it was equally amazing, just entirely different. So I am not a good standard because I mix it up all the time. I'm curious by nature, and that is something that is my constant. That's incredible.

SPEAKER_01 14:46

So, have you had any of your friends, your family, join you on any of your adventures or come visit while you're out traveling?

SPEAKER_00 14:55

Yes. I actually just celebrated 26 years of friendship with my best friend, and she came to meet me. And we had a little friendship anniversary road trip, and we were in the Netherlands and France, and then we took like a little day trip to Belgium, which was delightful. That was such good quality time with her, and so it's also really lovely to be around someone who knows you really well. Because in my life with traveling, I'm regularly introducing myself and I'm meeting these amazing people, and I've made incredible friends that I have absolutely continued to meet up with in my travels. There's one girl that I connected with really well, and once a year now we try to get an apartment somewhere. She's a digital nomad and I'm off doing things. And once a year we pick a country and we get an apartment, and we kind of just have a little girly time, and she'll go do her thing and I'll do mine, but then we'll go out to dinner and get coffee. And it's a really lovely highlight of my year is that like scheduled time with a familiar face of someone who is actively enjoying the lifestyle, but also wants the deeper friendship.

SPEAKER_01 16:02

In your opinion, from the times all these years that you have traveled solo, what do you think is so empowering about it? I mean, I've got a really good idea from just what you've said so far, but if you could put it into words exactly, what is it about solo travel that that feels empowering to a person, especially somebody who might be listening right now who's never done it, is a little scared, but is more curious than being scared?

SPEAKER_00 16:30

Well, first I would say absolutely go. I think for me, people make the place. I have places that I've been that maybe aren't the most exciting or unique exotic location. And those trips have become some of my favorites because of the people I've connected with. Whether they're other travelers or whether they're locals, for me, the people that I'm interacting with changes so much because I'm solo. I go to a, I can't tell you how many times I have made friends with the most random people. I will talk to just about anyone. I have no shame in that department.

SPEAKER_01 17:03

I, you know, I'm not getting that at all from you wrong.

SPEAKER_00 17:07

Well, I will sit in a coffee shop and immediately I'm a bit more observant because it's just me. I don't have someone else that I'm sitting there talking with. So I'm able to kind of observe who else is in the coffee shop. And I will clock another solo female traveler so fast. And like I'll end up sitting next to her. And here's a really easy one. And I've done this so many times. When I have to go use the restroom and my laptop sitting there, I'm gonna ask someone to watch my my bag or my laptop because I don't want to pack it all up. Same thing in an airport. Hey, will you watch this? I just need to go use the toilet really quickly. Pretty much always targeting another solo female traveler who equally says, Yes, can I go after you? So we're gonna exchange. I have legitimately ended up traveling with someone for three weeks after they watched my bag when I went to the toilet. Like instantly, it's just the easiest conversation starter. And then if it doesn't happen, okay, great, I was able to use the toilet like I needed to, but there's no pressure to the interaction. And I found so many other women are really open to having a connection if they're also solo. And hostels, of course, are very easy to do that. But I would say to any woman that's considering solo traveling, any man as well, there are new favorite people in your life you haven't met yet. And it's really easy to not meet new people when you're in the routines of how you're doing the same work, you're doing the same activities, you're seeing your people, which is wonderful, but you probably aren't engaging with that many new faces. When you purposely put yourself in the path of constant newness, there's nothing but interactions ahead of you. And you get to pick and choose that. But for me, I have so many new favorite people in my life that I've met just in the last four years. And I think there's a lot of conversation around loneliness as an adult, about making new quality friendships of people who are passionate about the same things, people who are ambitious and want to encourage and support each other, and women specifically, of maybe you don't want kids and you're pursuing a life that looks a little different than your friends back home who are, you know, a bit more domesticated and minivan and kids and soccer practice, which is great. And I'm so happy for the friends that have chosen that. That's just not my path. So I'm looking for people that are kind of headed in the same direction. And when I put myself in that space confidently and I'm chatting with other people, I attract that. And I have new favorite humans in multiple countries all over the world that are actively, we are actively aligned in what we're pursuing in life. And that feels really, really good.

SPEAKER_01 19:39

That, you know, Alani, nobody that I've interviewed has articulated that exact sentiment, even though I know, like as soon as you started talking about it, I felt it in my soul, but never has anybody clarified it so well. And that's exactly right. All the people you don't even know you're about to meet yet. And if you lend yourself to that, they're there. I love that. I love that so much. And I've already like clocked that as a clip that I will be using to promote this episode because it was just beautifully stated, very well done. For those people who are thinking about their very first solo trip.

SPEAKER_00 20:20

Where do you recommend? I have so many places because I I'm a firm believer that everywhere is open for travel. I dislike when someone tells me I shouldn't go somewhere. Like, are you sure? Oh no, that just makes me want to go more. I am a little, I'm a little push pushy in that department of really wanting to see all of the world. And I truly believe every place has value and I can learn something everywhere. That being said, if you're new, I think there's just some things to consider your own skill set. Are you wanting or comfortable engaging in a different language? I have been all over and have interacted with so many languages. My rule of thumb is generally trying to learn please, thank you. And then I try to learn a compliment about food. This is really delicious, or this is the best thing I've ever had. In all of my travels, someone is offering me something as a token of generosity, even without speaking a single word of the same shared language. They're offering me a cup of tea or they're welcoming into their home. And we can't really communicate well, but the food is the generous offer. And in that regard, being able to give them a teeny tiny compliment in their language, oh, it just makes their day. I enjoy the interaction. That's a bit of a side topic. Sorry.

SPEAKER_01 21:36

That's one thing I've never thought about doing because I I am same with you with hello and please and thank you. But that's a great idea.

SPEAKER_00 21:44

Well, and even then, like you show up somewhere, I will ask the person at passport control how to say thank you or hello. Like while I'm standing in line, and it immediately starts off a positive interaction because you're being respectful by choosing to acknowledge that English. Isn't the standard everywhere. And that right there starts it off in a positive way at the beginning of a trip when I'm still in the airport or the train station or wherever I am. I would say for solo travel, I would encourage people to push a little bit more than feels comfortable because your growth happens when you're past your comfort zone. And specifically, I firmly believe that all solo travelers grow in confidence. That for me is the biggest takeaway. You become confident and more decisive because you have to make more decisions when you're solo traveling. Your wins are your wins. Your mistakes are also your mistakes. The responsibility lies in you. But I have told this to several people when I tend to go to places that are very non-traditional for solo female travel. Everywhere you're going is someone's home. They live there. They live there, they work there, they eat there, they sleep there. If they can do it, I can do it. Now it might be different than what is my normal, and it might be a different toilet, and it's definitely going to be different food, and it's going to be probably different weather and different, you know, habits and cultural norms, but they're living there. I can manage it for a week or a month or even just a weekend. So anywhere is an option if you want it to be. You just need to be open to the changes and challenging your norms. So in that regard, I like to go somewhere with a different language. I like to go somewhere with different food that I've never had before. I think Europe is a really common place for people to go on their first trip because there's a little bit more crossover from things you're going to recognize, but there's going to be some new things as well. I know a lot of people, if they're wanting to backpack, uh Southeast Asia is a really common thing. I think with those types of places, you're going to meet and interact with a lot of other travelers, which can be really easy for someone who's new, who's a little intimidated by the process. You can ask 50 people around you questions because they're all actively doing it. And probably some of them are doing it for months or years. So they're going to be happy to answer your quick question. That being said, places that are really popular for backpacking also have systems and infrastructure that make it easier. You can Google in English how to get from Cambodia to Vietnam. And there's going to be a website in English that's going to tell you here are the times of the daily buses, because so many people do that route. So that right there makes it easier. If you're in Central Africa or Southeast Africa, you're Googling that in English. It's not going to be an easy pop-up answer. And there probably isn't a bus schedule. And you're going to end up on the side of the road waiting for a thing that might come on Thursday, but might not. In that regard, what are you opening yourself up to? Like, do you want it to be kind of challenging and full of crazy stories and really go with the flow? But if you want a little bit more structure, picking a spot that has a bit more infrastructure to the backpacking or solo travel community, that is going to make it a little bit simpler.

SPEAKER_01 25:06

So I'm picturing you in Africa waiting for that bus for three days or something.

SPEAKER_00 25:13

We met people that were doing this that were like, we're taking the train, but it's like on Tuesday, but maybe Friday. And I was like, okay, this is why I ended up buying a car off of Facebook and planning it on myself.

SPEAKER_01 25:28

So there was something that you mentioned and a couple of posts that I saw while you were traveling, that sometimes you weren't always alone. And I'm not talking about friends. I'm talking about dating while traveling. Did you date? Have you dated in these past four or so years?

SPEAKER_00 25:50

I have dated extensively. Here's the thing I was in Washington hiking with my friend, talking about planning this trip, saving every penny, but it was still literally years off at this point. And I remember telling my friend Chanelle, and I was like, What do you think about this idea of me going on a date in every country? And she just burst out laughing and she goes, I mean, that sounds like it could be fun. I was like, I'm single, but specifically, I wasn't looking for love. My goal was that I really wanted to be intentional to meet locals. I find it so incredibly easy to meet other travelers. But when I'm traveling somewhere, I want to learn about the place that I'm in. I want to learn about the culture, the customs, that sort of thing. And going on a date for me, at bare minimum, is the privilege of a conversation with this person. Whether I'm having a cup of coffee or we're going on a walk, or maybe they're excited to show me their favorite place in their town. Any of those interactions, I consider it a privilege to hear their story and be able to ask them questions. That is a positive interaction. Whether there's romance or whether it's platonic, that's a win to me. And so I just really wanted to be intentional to meet locals. And I figured going on a date in every country would be a fun way to do it. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. Or the level that some of these men would take this task of planning a first date. Wow. Like at one point I had a guy make a Google map and an itinerary for our date. Oh wow.

SPEAKER_01 27:25

Oh my goodness. That's strong. That's coming on strong. I like it.

SPEAKER_00 27:30

Yes, but like I was also like, oh, okay. Like he was very proud of his culture. He liked food I needed to try, places I need to go, things I needed to experience. He was so excited to show it off. And I was so excited to be on the receiving end of an interaction with someone who was so excited about their culture and sharing it with someone who was new there. So it was positive.

SPEAKER_01 27:54

Right. So this is an intentional thing. You wanted to date in every country.

SPEAKER_00 27:58

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 27:59

So did you were you asking people out, like in quotation marks, or just asking to spend time with someone? How did you approach it?

SPEAKER_00 28:08

Generally, I'm on the dating apps and I can change my location depending on where I'm going. Most of my dates were through dating apps. And my profile is really honest. I'm passing through, I'm meeting people as I travel. So I want to be clear that there isn't an expectation that I'm staying there getting married and having babies. I want to be respectful. But I truly cared about being authentic and having an authentic date, whatever that looked like and whatever that person was comfortable with. A few times I have met someone in the wild or I'd been set up on dates. Generally, the setup dates did not go well. They were funny stories. But I have definitely like asked people, been like, hey, because sometimes I'm only passing through a place for a short amount of time. So we didn't have time to go back and forth for chit-chatting for days or weeks on end. It was a little bit like, hey, let's just meet up for a cup of coffee. I found in certain cultures it was very common that they would be proactive in asking me out, but it really changes where you are and also what dating app you're using and that sort of thing.

SPEAKER_01 29:14

So absolutely. So can you give me one example of when somebody set you up? Um I can see that one came to mind right away.

SPEAKER_00 29:25

There was there were several. There was one in North Africa where I was set up by a friend that I had met, and she knew a North African man, so it was his friend. But the struggle turned out to be that after I had been picked up by this man and introduced to his friend group, he didn't know he was on a date that had not been communicated. And I specifically was like, please let them know, like, one, this is a date. Two, I'm leaving, like proper expectations. I also want to like set clear boundaries of there isn't an expectation of physicality and romance. Like we're having an interaction and connection, whatever we decide. We're adults. But apparently that was not communicated. And so we are in a vineyard with all of his buddies. I learned that he is vastly older than I had been told. And I also then learned that he did not know he was on a date. And it got it was just like, oh, okay. Well, now I'm kind of stuck. He was lovely, his friends were lovely. His friends even like did you see like some of his, I think his coworkers or friends' wives like took me into the soup and traveled around and invited me over for dinner? And I think I ended up at someone's child's birthday party. Like everyone was lovely, but it didn't go to plan as a standard date. And that's okay. It's a story.

SPEAKER_01 30:49

Of all the countries that you had dates in, which one had the most interesting dating culture that you found?

SPEAKER_00 30:57

I think that's a really interesting question because I found that it was really different person by person. I could go on if I was in a place long enough and went on dates with two different people, I had very different experiences with each person. I think of my first one was in Egypt. I had never been in an Islamic country before, and it was during Ramadan. And he was so excited to plan this date and went so above and beyond and was absolutely delightful. It ended up being a 13-hour date, and I learned so much. But the next date that I went on in the country a couple weeks later, because I was still in Egypt because I loved it so much, I found out part way through the date that he was engaged. So that was a different experience. Um, we missed that somehow in there. So in that regard, I didn't find that there was always consistency person to person, which when I reflect on the US dating culture, it also varies greatly. What you experience in the South of how someone plans and executes a date and who pays and what a dating activity looks like is very different than someone in the Pacific Northwest or someone in New York. So I have found that variety exists in a lot of other places and there isn't always a consistency. I think there can be cultural consistencies regarding someone asking you out or someone insisting or not insisting on paying. I think it was really interesting to learn about the dating culture in Iceland in such a small contained place where you really need to double check that you're not related to the person you're meeting with. I thought that was really fascinating. There's so many things I've learned. It's been really, really interesting in all of these different cultures. And plenty of times there's dating apps that aren't popular or even used in certain places. So, like Bumble isn't always available in a lot of the countries, or it is available, but there's nobody on it. So yeah. You gotta pivot and try different things.

SPEAKER_01 32:52

Yes, exactly. So I know you know you set your expectations with these dates early on and what you know that you were just passing through. But in this, if I'm too nosy, just say I'm being too nosy. But did you ever meet somebody that you were like, hmm, maybe I'll extend this particular place just a little bit longer to keep going out with this person?

SPEAKER_00 33:14

Yes. I mean, I absolutely did that. I had a really strong connection early on with someone that was new for me to feel that way and to give myself permission to date this person so openly. And that was really lovely. And he asked me to, because I was traveling around the country for a bit, he asked me to come back and I did. And that was really lovely. Mind you, things got weird in the end. So we exited. But in that regard, I've met really lovely humans. I think for me, there's always an intentionality when looking for compatibility of what I'm looking for in my life. There's plenty of people that I meet and have incredible connection and chemistry with who are looking to settle down and have a family and want something very traditional. In that regard, we are not compatible long term. It doesn't mean we can't have a lovely time and really enjoy whatever, if whether it's a two days or whether it's, you know, a couple weeks in that regard, but long term, we may not be looking for the same thing. So sometimes there's just kind of always a bit of an end date that has also led me to some really special connections. Because people know that I'm leaving, I have found sometimes they're more vulnerable, they're more open, they're more willing to share things or be more authentic because they may not see me again. So I get maybe a different version of someone on their first or second date because I'm leaving.

SPEAKER_01 34:40

And so always got to ask the question you're in a different country, a totally different culture, the first date. Do you or what safety precautions do you practice doing this kind of thing with a date in every country? Yes.

SPEAKER_00 34:56

Now, I have general rules of thumb that I like to try to keep no matter where I am. Have I broken my own rules? Yes, that's just being honest. General rule of thumb is I'm not telling them where I'm staying. I'm meeting them, even if it's at the end of the street or I'm meeting them at a central location. I am making sure always that my phone is charged and that I have access to internet. So if I'm in the middle of the date and it's going poorly, I can get an Uber, I can figure out a way to get home, I can exit on my time and comfort level. So I make sure that I also keep a phone charger with me because nothing's worse than being out and about and suddenly being like, I can't Google anything, I can't Google translate anything. Um stuck. So those sorts of things. Uh sharing your location. But to be fair, I'm so far from my friends, even though I share with people in multiple continents and multiple time zones, I'm far away. More than anything. And this is across the board for dating, solo travel, any travel. I firmly believe that your gut is your biggest, most important safety tool. And I think what's really important in safety, specifically for solo female travelers, is it's a muscle. Learning to trust it and learning to trust it quickly, not second guessing it. If something feels off, don't delay an hour and go, well, maybe I'll just, you know, wait and see and wait and see until you're really, really uncomfortable. No, if something feels off, exit. Call it, leave it. Your safety is more important. And I think learning how to listen to that and react really quickly is a really positive thing that comes with more experience and with specifically solo travel.

SPEAKER_01 36:37

Extremely good advice. Absolutely. For four years of travel, my first thought is how do you afford it? I know you saved initially, you're thinking you're a year and a half, you've extended it to four years. How do you make it sustainable for people who, you know, aren't financially set and you know having on a an inheritance? How do you make it work? And who maybe aren't digital nomads?

SPEAKER_00 37:06

And that's a great question. And I'm really glad you asked because I get asked this all the time. To be fair, I worked really hard and did a and I ended up staying a bit longer in the US than I planned my initial exit. In regards to planning, I did a really good job of saving. I also had sold a lot of my belongings, which allowed me a significant chunk of change to start out. I also, because I was planning this for a full two years before I left, I was really strategic during that time. I learned how to credit card hack and do credit card points. So in four years of travel, the most I have paid out of pocket for a flight is $200 in four years of travel. I use points for everything. I've gotten very good at I've flown business class plenty of times, not all the times. I wish I could. I'm ruined. That for me is a huge saving factor in regards to travel. I also have gotten very good at keeping my costs down on the road. I think when people are looking at travel, going, how does she afford that? You're looking at it through a vacation window of hotels and going out to eat every meal and saying yes to all the tours and taking Ubers everywhere instead of a local bus, as well as you're flying in and out in a short period of time. I actually don't fly that often because when I go to a certain area of the world, I tend to stay in that area of the world for a while. And I specifically have found more than anything, the best way to save money is your transportation cost. And if you have the asset of time, like I did when I left and didn't have an end date, slow travel can save you so much money if you're willing to be patient and if you're willing to be uncomfortable. Because a 24-hour bus isn't exactly fun, but it's 20 bucks and the flight is 200, and that's a notable amount of money to save. It's having that mindset everywhere I go. This is a tip that I try to always explain to people. Wherever you are and wherever you're looking to go, where are the locals? What are they doing? If you are on a bus and it's a bunch of other foreigners, you paid more than you probably should for that bus. If you're on a bus surrounded by a chicken, a drum, the circus, and some locals, which has happened to me. That was Christmas, by the way. I know that I'm keeping costs down as much as costs can be kept down. I have hitchhiked, I have slow boat for two days. I've done a lot of those things, and that truly makes the long-term travel sustainable in regards to the cost, because I'm not racking up flights, I'm not racking up hotel. Even my hotels, when I do splurge on hotels, I'm doing hotel points or some other creative way, a credit. Maybe I have a credit with my because I have fancy travel credit cards and I really make sure I use those perks well. So that all of those tiny decisions all add up to making it last.

SPEAKER_01 40:05

Do you have a go-to credit card recommendation for like best points either flights, just travel in general, hotels?

SPEAKER_00 40:14

The really quick summary is depending on where you're traveling and what credit card points you're wanting to use, you have Amex, Chase, and Capital One. Those are your three main wheelhouse. If you have a card in each of those categories, you can transfer points to all the different airline systems as well as different hotel systems. If you only do one of those, I would generally say Chase is the best, in my personal opinion, for collecting points, either collecting them from earning, because also what I spend money on, I'm trying to get as many points for what I spend. So if all of my spend is eating out in a foreign country, flights, hotels, taxis, I want to collect as many points for that spend as possible. And I have found Chase to be really great for that. I continue to use it all the time.

SPEAKER_01 41:06

What do you think is one of the biggest myths that people have about the cost of long-term travel?

SPEAKER_00 41:13

I think it's really the difference of vacation versus long-term travel. I think it's the difference of someone who's on holiday and someone who it's their lifestyle. I am not going out to nice restaurants all of the time. I have had some very questionable meals in my time or skipped meals. I love eating local and it's almost always more affordable than going to a Western restaurant abroad. I do have an indulgence. I really still like my iced coffees. And I will spend money to go sit at a cafe and write and drink my iced coffee, and that's my splurge, and I know that. I will cut things in other areas so that I can justify that cost. I think it's just it's being uncomfortable to be true. I save money by choosing to put myself in some level of discomfort, and that makes it really achievable. And I also my standards for what I think is normal have vastly changed. I don't know that there's a normal anymore in my world. As long as I'm willing to pivot for different foods, for what a hotel room looks like, whether there's 17 flights of stairs or an elevator, all of those things change and your cost can reflect that. And I try really hard, I think this is an important thing. I try really hard not to call places cheap. I think that's a really unfair way to look at the world. I think there's great privilege with my circumstance. There's great privilege with growing up in a westernized country and having the US dollar as my form of currency. So when I look at places, I care deeply that I'm being respectful because what feels affordable to me may not be affordable to a local person.

SPEAKER_01 43:01

I totally understand what you're saying because what you're basically you're just you're prioritizing, and that's what people do when they travel. And it's like, what are your priorities? Is it the nice hotels or the first class or business class? Or do you want to take Ubers? Do you want to go on these tours? Or do you want to stretch your dollar, go longer, travel like a local and really get into the culture? And then you prioritize totally different things like you have been doing. And and you get more of an idea of what the locals are doing. And the the benefit is that it's a whole lot less expensive that way.

SPEAKER_00 43:39

So well, and specifically, I think you said it well. None of those areas or styles of travel are wrong. They're just different. If you are a foodie and you like to go the fancy restaurant and go to the Michelin star and you like to stay in the overwater bungalow or the penthouse suite, do that. You just have to have a fair expectation. Of how long you'd be able to travel based on those budgets and the way that you spend. In my case, I wanted to stay on the road longer and was willing to make sacrifices, maybe in the food department or the, for me, primarily like the transportation. If I can be a little uncomfortable, but it's saving me money, the things that I splurge on are the experiences. I want to be able to stay on the road longer. And there's certain things that I'm like, I will absolutely spend my money doing that. And I would rather cut it from other areas. There's nothing wrong with all the different ways to travel. You just have to have a realistic expectation of what your budget looks like and how long that's gonna work for you. And the fact of the matter is, is you change. There's some cities that I go a little bougie, and there's other cities that I'm like, absolutely not. I got on couch surfing for the first time in 10 years and I slept on a stranger's couch. She is a very dear friend of mine, and she's an absolute delight. But Switzerland and like $100 for a bunk bed was not gonna work for me.

SPEAKER_01 45:00

Oh yeah, I can't even imagine. I've been to Geneva and it's like, I mean, you smell money in the air.

SPEAKER_00 45:05

It's so beautiful. I love it, but oh my goodness. I just ate sandwiches and boxes by the river seating outside. I just picnicked everywhere and skipped a few meals. It's fine.

SPEAKER_01 45:17

Yes, exactly. What country do you think has the most value for your money? If you could, I know, I know it's hard.

SPEAKER_00 45:26

I will tell you one of my recent favorites and one of the few that I've returned to. I really enjoy Vietnam for so many reasons. I find the people absolutely lovely and so sincere. I find the food delicious. I'm obsessed with the coffee. They have the best coffee hands down, and I've tasted coffee everywhere. It's my favorite. They have mountains, they have beaches, they have big cities, they have nature. For me, Vietnam checks all of the boxes, and my dollar happens to go significantly far there. So, in that regard, Vietnam is a happy place for me.

SPEAKER_01 46:07

Oh, fantastic. My brother, um, he was on one of the early shows, and he spent three months in Southeast Asia and Vietnam, Thailand, that whole area is his favorite. If he could live anywhere, it would be there. It's wonderful.

SPEAKER_00 46:20

It's really and but the people, it's the people and the food and the land, it's everything.

SPEAKER_01 46:27

All right, so we've got this little round of rapid fire questions for you. Okay. And of course, a lot of it is choosing one thing, which I know is difficult. I know it's difficult.

SPEAKER_00 46:39

It's so hard. It's so hard.

SPEAKER_01 46:42

Favorite country.

SPEAKER_00 46:44

Starting off here. Okay, so this is my caveat. I can never pick one true favorite because I have a favorite place for mountains. I have a favorite place where I've made friends. I have my favorite coffee place. I have my favorite beach places. So this is my I can't pick a favorite, but I will say, I will do two. Two places that I have returned to that I really, really love are Vietnam and South Africa. I have made great friends there and have enjoyed my time there. Ah, beautiful. So love. I will always come back to those.

SPEAKER_01 47:14

Most underrated destination.

SPEAKER_00 47:17

I feel like a lot of people skipped Cambodia and I really enjoyed my time there. I also made fantastic friends when I was there and ended up like collecting humans and friends that I just kidnapped and took with me places. Had a wonderful time. And I feel like it's a place that people regularly go to Vietnam and Thailand. And Sri Lanka is also very up and coming. I feel like it's a it's starting to get a lot more of attention. I really love Sri Lanka and I really loved Cambodia.

SPEAKER_01 47:43

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 47:44

Most expensive place. If I were to run the numbers, it's the toss-up between Switzerland or Iceland. Oh yeah. Iceland, I made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on the front seat of my car and slept in a tent. Had the greatest pastry. My favorite pastry is from Iceland. Sounds good. Yes. Best local food. Vietnamese food is phenomenal. But Sri Lankan food is really good. I'm a charcuterie girl for Western Europe. So France and Spain. This is terrible. This I don't, this is what I can't pick anything. I cannot commit to one country or one cuisine. Ever. In fact, this is my tiny little sidebar. I asked my friend. So I'm this girl that I met in Cambodia, the girl who watched my backpack at the bus stop. We became friends. She was in London. I just got to see her. She came to visit me in Bristol and we went out for drinks. And I asked her this question, and I love this. I said, give me your perfect day, every meal and beverage, but from where in the world? Like, where's your morning coffee from? Where's your breakfast from? Where's your second coffee? Because everyone should have second coffee. Where's your lunch from? Your afternoon snack, your happy hour, and then your evening. And then she sat there and we're just constantly changing, like, oh, this one meal I had here and this one drink I had here. And it was so fun to hear about her favorite places, specifically the nostalgia of the meal and the location, and maybe it was the view or the people you were with. That was a little game that I played recently and really enjoyed it.

SPEAKER_01 49:16

I love that I'm going to remember that and I will be using that in the future. That's for sure. If you had to choose hostel, hotel, or Airbnb.

SPEAKER_00 49:24

I reject all three. I love all three. I'm going to go with Mountain Hut and Homestay. Damn. Sorry. I take three of my own. I'm sorry. I love it. Through hiking and staying in a hut to hut. And it ends up being like a hostel because you're in a bunk bed in a room full of strangers, but you're in the mountains. Absolute favorites. Homestay, because it's just so authentic and the interactions with the locals and generally your food is phenomenal. And then van life, accidental unplanned van life for me brought me some of my favorite memories camping in places. There you go. So um I'm so sorry that I took your three and replaced them with my three.

SPEAKER_01 50:05

No, not at all. Not at all. I love it. City, beach, mountains, or countryside. Again, I cannot.

SPEAKER_00 50:15

I'm terrible. I'm a terrible guest when it comes to answering well. I would say I was gonna say beach and mountains. I I'm torn between, but mountains truly bring me the most amount of joy.

SPEAKER_01 50:28

Yeah. So one travel item you cannot live without.

SPEAKER_00 50:33

Oh, okay. I have a favorite travel brand that I own so much of their gear and love. They have a particular matador equipment, phenomenal brand. Love them to pieces. They have this thing called a pocket blanket, and it folds up into a little teeny tiny satchel that's smaller than the palm of my hand. And it's like parachute material, and it folds out to about the size of a towel, and it is phenomenal because it packs so small. You set it on a wet rock, and then I'm dry. I'm able to sit on it. I have used it when I was on a boat in where was I? I was in Vietnam and we suddenly got off the boat and went into a temple, and I was wearing a tank top because it was hot and it needed to cover my shoulders. So immediately wrapped it around my shoulders, and then I was appropriate. I've put it over my head in the rain. I was on a boat and I had my purse, which had my camera and my computer in it, and we suddenly got like deluge. The girl behind me was wearing a snorkel. We had so much water on the boat. So I covered my purse with this blanket. So I swear by it, it goes with me everywhere. It's amazing.

SPEAKER_01 51:36

I will definitely have it late on the podcast. So, yes. So, what's next? That's the final question. What is next on your list?

SPEAKER_00 51:46

So that's hard because I don't know. I am working on writing my book, and in that case, I'm trying to slow down a little bit. And I recently did uh house setting for the first time officially and really had a lovely experience. So I'm looking to do a little bit more of that. So I haven't decided if I'm gonna do it in the States or internationally, but for me, that was really great. And then that friend that I told you about that I like to meet up with, we haven't picked our country yet, but we'll probably meet up later in the year somewhere. Maybe Albania. I haven't been there, but I've heard good things. I really want to go hiking in Montenegro and the Alps down in that region. Nice. And then the stands. I'm dying to do the stands. Kyrgyzstan, Pakistan, Turkmenistan, all of the stands. So much so.

SPEAKER_01 52:34

Fantastic. This book that you're working on is it is about the last four years. Please tell me there's a section on dating.

SPEAKER_00 52:42

Well, it is the dating, actually, because the travel stories are amazing, but the dating was such a unique thing that I did that I learned so much. I learned so much about myself. I learned so much about these other cultures, and I had such a unique experience. The problem is that four years is too many stories for one book, let alone three books. So I'm gonna do the first year and a half that I was abroad before I did a trip home. And I'll do the dating in every country and travel stories mixed in. But that will be the premise for the book. I can't wait to read it. Thanks.

SPEAKER_01 53:17

I'm excited. As we wrap up, tell me about the Lonnie four or five years ago planning this trip, who she was compared to the Lani today after all these years on the road. What's the difference between the two? That is a really good question.

SPEAKER_00 53:36

Kudos to you. I wow. When I left, I was deeply grieving. It was only a couple months after my mom died. And that was such an overwhelming feeling. Uh, and it's still grief is ever present. I think I've changed so much in how I handle it. And I, as I mentioned earlier, I speak about it a lot more. And that has really been a really positive experience for myself as well as my interactions with other people who are sharing their own grief. I have a sense of pride of all of these things that I've accomplished because I never, I never thought it would turn out like this. I didn't think I'd be gone this long. I didn't think the dates would be this thing. I didn't even plan to write. Like I didn't write before I left. This was all just something that kind of naturally came about. And I have been so blessed by all of the women who follow along with my stories, demanding new episodes. All of these women who are inspired to go to places that are maybe non-traditional for a solo female traveler. I think I have changed so much in what I'm willing to say yes to. I was already open, we're really open now. I think also I was raised really conservative and religious, and a view of dating itself changed. My interactions with people were generally, they fit into a box. They were pretty structured. And now I truly enjoy a conversation with just about anybody. And there's something special about having a really remarkable conversation with someone knowing that I'll never see them again. And I have really developed this area of being connected to people in a very short period of time. Yeah. I've also gotten really, really comfortable with myself. I've spent a lot of time alone. I've lived alone previously before I left and things like that. I haven't, until travel and living in a van in Africa by myself, spent that level of alone time. There's an inner peace that comes with the traveling and the confidence in knowing, knowing the things that I've tackled, traveling with a machete, bartering, negotiating, problem solving. I've done all of these things that give me a confidence in myself that I didn't have when I started.

SPEAKER_01 56:02

It is a wonder to behold, just just seeing your posts and hearing your stories. I I mean, I'm so impressed and in awe of everything that you've done over these last four years. It's incredible. And you know, you're just such a delight to talk to. Your joy, it radiates from you. Literally, just hearing you talk about it and how you light up is just it's so it's so nice to see. And it's been such a pleasure. Except for the clock. I'm just so sorry about the clock.

SPEAKER_00 56:33

I it's the longest clock. I don't even it's 5 07. Why is it going off now? I don't understand the time.

SPEAKER_01 56:43

I think it is messing with us that this is I think it, I think it is.

SPEAKER_00 56:46

It was it was a villain. It's a villainous clock. Wait for it. I'm so sorry that you have to edit all the chimes out. Thank you so much. Your words are so kind. You are a great interviewer, by the way. I've enjoyed your questions immensely. I'm so grateful for my experience. I am deeply grateful for the people that I've met along the way and for the people that I'm yet to meet. I think there's something really beautiful about constantly looking forward to what's ahead of me. There's deep nostalgia for the things that I've experienced, but there's always a new friend on the other side. There's another date to be had, there's a new favorite place, a new favorite food ahead of me. And I think that's something positive that travel brings me. And it's to be fair, the reason why I think travel makes me the best version of myself.

SPEAKER_01 57:41

Yeah. Lonnie, it's been such a joy. Thank you so much for coming on today. Appreciate it.

SPEAKER_00 57:47

Thank you so much for having me. I'm really excited to listen to all the other episodes. I listened to several already, but I've got more. And I just excited to be here. So thank you.

SPEAKER_01 57:59

How incredible is Lonnie. Right? I told you. To everyone listening, whether you're already out there roaming or you're still working up the nerve to book that first flight, Lonnie's story is proof that the world is waiting for you. It's safe enough, kind enough, big enough for you to show up exactly as you are. If today's episode moved you, I would love it if you'd share it with a friend, screenshot it for your stories, or leave us a review wherever you're listening. It genuinely makes a huge difference and helps Rome Alone reach more people who are ready to take that leap. You can find links to everything we talked about today, including how to follow Lonnie and get updates on her book in the show notes below. Until next time, Roamers, go explore. The Road is yours.