Stop Starting Over: Create Routines That Support Your Future Identity

If you’re someone who craves novelty but struggles with consistency, this episode will show you how to build flexible routines that reinforce your identity, strengthen self-trust, and create momentum towards the future you want.

Consistency is about giving your subconscious enough repetition to support the identity you’re becoming. Here I'll share the routine framework I use to balance discipline, flexibility, and lasting transformation.

You can register for the Activate Your Creative Identity live masterclass here.

Transcript

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Welcome to the Expansion Edit Podcast, where if you hang around long enough, you'll learn that you can achieve anything by rewiring who you believe you are. I'm Chelsea, a licensed therapist, turned identity coach for the woman ready to create an extraordinary life and become the living manifestation of her vision board. Not through wishful thinking or fluffy affirmations, but through identity embodiment using proven techniques, rewiring protocols, and psychology-backed strategy grounded in neuroscience. Here we talk subconscious rewiring, nervous system safety, identity shifting, and manifestation in a way that expands your life from the inside out. So let's unlock your next level. Okay, welcome back to the podcast. Today we are talking about routines, and I feel like I talk about routines a lot on here and in my content, and some of the feedback that I get is it's hard to stick to a routine. I do it for a little bit and then I fall off. And all of these things I just want to preface by saying is so normal. And today I'm going to give you kind of a different framework to look at routines from that's going to make it more sustainable for you. If you are anything like me, you might crave novelty a little bit and kind of reject keeping to a routine that is completely the same because it feels boring. And I totally get that because I'm right there with you. I'm actually, I feel like I'm such a contradiction because I am somebody who craves novelty, but I really have a hard time when I don't have routines. So it's like I need the routine, but then I like rebel against it at the same time. I don't know if that resonates with anyone, but that's I mean, that's a struggle that I've had almost my whole life. And now I am just learning how to work with it more instead of trying to fight myself with it. So if I just described you, this episode is definitely for you. And we're gonna get into how to be consistent with a routine and how to keep it interesting and flexible enough that you actually complete it every day. Because I think that people think that consistency means you do the same exact thing the same exact way every single day. And then life happens, you know, you miss a day, and then you spiral, you think you're failing, you're like, see, I knew I couldn't do this, all of that, and then you end up quitting or going back to operating from the identity that you are currently. Before we get into the actual framework, I just want to say that the goal itself is not the routine. The goal is reinforcing the identity that you're becoming. And so we're not doing a routine to check boxes, it's creating enough repetition for your brain to accept a new identity. So, yes, we're doing the subconscious reprogramming part where we're doing meditation, visualization, all of the ways that we access the subconscious, but we also need to strengthen the new neural pathways with the new way of thinking. And remember that when you have, if you've heard me talk about this before, your neural pathways that you're operating from right now are very strong and very ingrained because you've been thinking that way and operating that way for as many years old as you are. So now we're introducing a new way of thinking, a new way of being. And those new neural pathways need repetition in order to strengthen. And the more you strengthen those neural pathways, the weaker the old way of thinking pathways become. And that is the goal. We want to strengthen the new ones repetitively enough times that it becomes your default way of thinking. And this, like I've talked about, becomes so much easier once you have the identity piece more ingrained into the subconscious. So it's sort of this dual step thing where you're in you're repeating behaviors that are reinforcing the identity, and then you're also doing subconscious reprogramming to create and reinforce the identity subconsciously. And the combination of those two things is what results in your quantum leap in you quickly becoming that version of you and creating the life that you see for yourself. And, you know, I've seen this with clients, I've seen this with myself. I feel like I am constantly leaping and jumping, the more I can ingrain the identity of the version of me that I'm becoming. And something else I just want to say on this, I don't know if I've talked about this too much, but the more I get into this work for myself with clients, I'm seeing this pattern. I actually now at this point don't believe that when you're instilling a new identity or creating a new way of operating and a new way of being, I actually don't think that it's a new way of being. I think that it's really you returning to who you were before fear conditioning and programming convinced you that you had to be someone else. So I actually really see this now as a returning to the version of you that you were always put on this earth to be, not learning a separate identity. I think it's returning to the version of you that you were supposed to be. But so many of us were conditioned to not be who we are, whether that be because of neurodivergency, thinking differently, seeing things differently. Like we were taught in school that we weren't supposed to do things differently. Like sticking out was not a good thing. And so a lot of us have been conditioned to actually move away from our own intuition and our own way of thinking. And a lot of times I think that this reprogramming and creating the life that you actually want is just in line with the version of you that you were always here to be. So little tangent there, but this is why routines matter so much is because they can uncover, reinforce, and remind you who you want to be, who you already are, and moving towards that version of yourself. Okay, so something that I've struggled with a lot in my life is perfectionism, and perfectionism will always kill your consistency. And that's why I think crafting a routine in this way, where you're not tied to perfectionism or consistency in the way that maybe you're thinking of it right now will catapult you to actually creating this identity and help you not, quote, fall off the bandwagon, if you will. So if we have this all or nothing thinking where if like we miss a workout or we miss a meditation, you know, that means you've blown the whole routine and what's the point because you can't stick to it anyway. And that's not what we want. We want to create something flexible, sustainable, and that, you know, you're getting that win and you know that you're still moving towards that version of yourself. And just to kind of lessen the pressure, your identity is built through hundreds of actions, hundreds of compounding actions every single day, every single repetition. So you missing one day or like not doing something one day is not make or break. Like it's this tiny compounding that feels at first like nothing is happening, and then all of a sudden it snowballs into what you've been working towards all along. So I'm gonna walk you through the flexible routine framework that I use. And this is like the practical takeaway from this episode of how to create your routine so that it can be flexible, so that you'll follow through on it and not beat yourself up for not doing something one day or the other. So I like to think of this as a menu. So every day I choose from this menu, and I just choose a few things. And here's the thing: I don't even have a number for you. I don't say like I choose three of these every single day, because sometimes it's one, sometimes it's four, sometimes it's two. Like it is kind of all over the place, but I know that doing these things all result in the same outcome of me being regulated and being more in touch with myself and the way that I think and process and create. So I choose from these five things, and these five things are not going to be a shock when I tell you what they are: meditation, journaling, visualization, reflection, and movement. Okay. And some of you might be saying, okay, well, meditation and visualization, or journaling and reflection, those are kind of the same things. And yes, they can be, but I also like to separate those out because sometimes I don't do a full meditation. Sometimes I lay in bed and I spend a minute, two minutes, five minutes literally visualizing my future, visualizing how the day is gonna go, or visualizing an outcome that I'm working towards, or how it would feel to be at this place in my life. So that's what I mean. That's why I separate those out because yes, I can do a full meditation where I'm visualizing, or if I don't have time for that, or it's just not gonna happen that day, I can do something more abbreviated. Same thing with journaling and reflection. Like I can reflect without journaling. I do feel like it's more reinforced when I write things down, when I get it out of my brain. So, yes, you can reflect in a journal prompt, but you can also, you know, you can do so many different things with journaling. It doesn't have to just be reflection. So, again, that's why I separate those two. And with all of these, so again, those five are meditation, journaling, visualization, reflection, and movement. All of those things, the timing can change, the length can change, and the order can change. Having this framework of being able to choose these things gives me the novelty without losing the consistency. So I can choose to do a few or more or one, you know, I can choose the time length that I want to do, and I'm still completing the routine, I'm still having the consistency, but I'm getting the novelty hit as well because it's it's differentiated. Like some mornings I might go to the gym at five and then come back and journal, or some mornings I might do my meditation and then journal and have my coffee and have like a slower morning. So it really, you know, you can change how this is structured. And something else I just want to mention is just because I don't do this thing first thing in the morning, I generally will still do all of these things throughout the day. So like if I don't work out in the morning, I'll probably go at two. Like I always need to have my movement, but when I do it, I I kind of let that be flexible. And I know for some people that doesn't work because you're like, if I do not do this thing first thing in the morning, it's not happening. And that's valid too. So you really just need to kind of curate it in a way that works for you. For me, having the routine and knowing I'm going to do all of these things throughout the day, but I get to choose when, again, gives me that novelty piece that I really need in order to stay consistent. Something else I want to say on this is like knowing that I'm doing all of those things, but being able to do it when I want still keeps me accountable because having this routine or having this framework really builds my self-confidence because I truly at this point see self-confidence as the ability to keep promises to yourself. Like if you say you're gonna do something, then you follow through on it. And I don't mean in a burnout way, I don't mean in like a you're forcing things way, but really like if you're committing to yourself, you need to follow through on that commitment. And I like this framework because it allows me space, but I still complete that and I still keep that promise to myself. This one can be tricky because I've definitely been in that place where I'm like, oh, I have to, I have to do this thing. And I kind of push myself past the point of like not listening to my body and like, oh, well, I said I was gonna work out every day, and and then I like look at a workout and I'm like, well, it has to be this hardcore workout every single day. And it's like, okay, that's actually burning you out, and it's not honoring your body, and it's not building your confidence, you're just pushing through burnout at that point. So when I look at this framework, I'm not promising myself perfection, but I'm I am promising myself participation, and that creates evidence that I am becoming the version of myself that I say I am. And again, this comes back to reinforcing the identity that you're becoming. And anytime you can reinforce the identity that you want to move towards, it creates more confidence. And then again, you're creating this snowball effect. Okay, I wanna I wanna leave you with this line, and then I'm also going to give you a little challenge at the close of this episode. But what I am learning, and the more I lean into this and the more I kind of create things that work specifically for me, I'm seeing that structure creates safety, and flexibility creates sustainability. So your nervous system and your subconscious need to feel safe. And having the structure creates that safety, at least for me. Maybe it's different for you, but for me, that's I found that to be true. At the same time, having the flexibility creates sustainability. Like you're because you have a flexible framework, you're not gonna fall off, you're not going to resort to perfectionism and then be like, I can't do this. Like it's going to allow you the space to complete the routine and feel accomplished in that and integrate the identity without this crazy, inflexible thing that you have to adhere to every single day. So I challenge you this week to instead of trying to adhere to like some perfect routine where you're doing every single thing and it has to be this amount of time and blah, blah, blah, and this many steps, just create a personal menu, like I have here of five practices that are going to regulate you and reinforce who you're becoming. And then each day you're going to choose two or three, or one, or four, or five, like whatever works for you that day. Let the consistency come from the repetition, not from like doing it perfectly. And, you know, if what I mentioned that that five works for you, work with that five and just start playing and experimenting with that and see what comes through. I think the five that I've come up with really, I mean, they are tailored to me, but I also think that they are tailored to a lot of people in this audience who are creating lives that they actually want to live. And I think it is a really good balance of future planning and also nervous system regulation at the same time to put you in that creative flow. Which brings me to I am going to be hosting a live free masterclass. We're going to be talking about identity, we're going to be talking about how to get into creative flow, how to use your voice in a unique way that nobody else can copy, and how to use that internal guidance to really build a career in life in a way that feels so authentically you. So if that interests you, I will drop the link to register below. And if I don't have it yet, I'll have it by next week. So stay tuned on that. And I think I'm gonna leave you with that for this one, and I'll see you in the next one.