No One Is Coming to Save You: Creativity, Healing & Inner Trust | Zena Crean | S2E41

In Episode 41 of Igniting Inspired Inquiry, I speak with Zena Crean of Wharekoko Toi about creativity, healing, spirituality, and the self-responsibility that comes with choosing your own growth.

This conversation explores the belief that “no one is coming to save you” — and how this can become a powerful return to personal mana, inner trust, and sacred responsibility.

Zena shares her journey through trauma, grief, health challenges, and creative transformation, and how art became a pathway back to herself. Through creativity, wairua, ancestral connection, and deep presence, she has learned to trust her intuition, honour her own knowing, and show up exactly as she is.

We are here to open the door to reflection, resonance, and revelation.

This is a space for truth, trust, and the kind of insight that comes from simply being human — raw, alive, and transformative.

Connect with Zena:

Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/wharekoko_toi/

Season 2 of Igniting Inspired Inquiry is a courageous return to what is real — amplifying honest voices, sharing human stories, and exploring the journey toward inner peace.

If this episode resonated, we would deeply appreciate a Like, Share, Review, or Subscribe as we continue creating a space where inquiry is alive, bold, and transformative.

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:02

Welcome to Igniting Inspired Inquiry, a space for real conversations with incredible humans. I'm your host, Jay, and I'm here to open the door to reflection, resonance, and revelation. If you have a moment to like, share, subscribe, or review, I would deeply appreciate you sharing the love. This is a space for truth, trust, and the kind of insight that comes from simply being human. Thank you for being here. Let's begin. Here we are. I get to welcome back a guest who was sort of midway in season one. After a beautiful circle, I met her in. Since then, been in a beautiful circle. I still have that mandala. I'm not in the right room to show that off. Zena, you're back. And I'm really excited to have you here. I'm excited for the Cordero to continue in whatever way, shape, or form that is, and whatever we feel is important in our life, or perhaps what people need to hear. And I'm just really grateful. So thank you, Zina.

SPEAKER_02 1:13

Thank you.

SPEAKER_03 1:15

So I'm still gonna ask that question because people who are listening or watching may not know who you are. You can answer this however you please. Who is Xina?

SPEAKER_00 1:25

Call IO. Well, I'm Zina, the Wahine and artist behind Funny Cookle Toy. I've been on a healing journey. It's such a hot word at the moment, isn't it? But I've been on a bit of a journey for a while and in the process of trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up as a 50-year-old woman now. Five years ago, I found myself connecting with art and creativity, and was looking for a way to reconnect with myself and to find healing with myself that didn't involve old patterns, old behavior. And so this started off as a journey purely for myself, painting some dots on a rock, and it's just blowing up. So I've been creating for five years, because this is my fifth year, and it's been such a beautiful, it's been challenging, but it's been a beautiful journey and season. So I'm 50 now, I've got a whole new attitude to life, you know, I see things quite differently. I'm a I'm a mama to five, I've got 10 mukapuna, and I'm on a journey of wanting to connect and wanting to show the magic that can happen when we tap into our creative energy and flow. And and I want to basically stand from the moan and shout it out to everyone that we all have that capacity and ability to be creative, we've just got to be able to tap into that space. And how do we do that? So, yeah, that's me. I'm in there.

SPEAKER_03 3:09

And we're gonna get to know you more. I agree here for your mahi, and I so deeply appreciate it. And I mean that's what one of the reasons why you're here because I just want more people to see you and hear you and get to know what you do because it brings light to the world. Thank you. You're welcome. So, first question, which you've answered before what is one moment, belief, or experience that changed the way you see the world?

SPEAKER_00 3:43

Yeah, I've sat with this say and I try to think, what did I say last time? And it's like, it's not about last time, it's about this time. Yes. And there's been lots of moments that I can always go back to. But I guess staying in this season that I'm in now, something that a belief that's really come up for me a lot lately has been no one's come in to save you, Zina. This whole it's for me, it's that I've spent far too long in my journey and in my life looking externally for validation or for the, you know, we're all looking for the quick fix. How do we how can we change our state, our mindset, all of that? And for me, it was the the huge shift was no one's coming to save me. I've got to do the work if I want to make the change. Quite simple, but such a shift from I guess for me, it's about taking my power back because there's been lots of situations, and we've all experienced trauma, grief, where I've had power, and my I guess my manna stomped on. And so no one else is gonna do that for me. We're all on our own journey, and and we have to show up for ourselves first and foremost. So for me, it's been very much that repositioning myself of I have the tools and the ability to move through whatever life is gonna throw me because I know in the depths of my heart that my two-pointer will never put me in spaces and places I can't rise in. I've just got to be willing to believe in myself. And it's harder than what we realize, but it can only but in saying that, it doesn't have to be that hard. So, yeah, that's been a big one for me. No one's coming to save you, Zaina. You have to do it yourself. Get off your ass. You know, there's no point wallowing in the state. Yep. You can I can move through it as fast or as slow as I want, and still honoring the process. It's not about getting out of that state and transitioning, it's about that transformation and and what is the situation or what is life presenting to me right now that's giving me feedback to help me level up to the next stage.

SPEAKER_03 6:14

Yes, yeah, and that comes with a deep level of presence.

SPEAKER_00 6:18

Oh, totally.

SPEAKER_03 6:19

Yeah. What I love about what you shared was that the second part, what you added to it was like it's not just no one's coming to save me, but that I need to do this myself. And that I hear is like that's to me the sacred responsibility, right? It's like taking responsibility for our life, knowing that not only is no one gonna save us, but only we know what we need and the tools that we need to find, the resources that we have to gather in order to move forward in the way that we want to, right? Right. And only we know how we want to show up, to be fair.

SPEAKER_00 6:58

Well, this is it. I mean, it's uh it's not a one size fits all. You know, if that was the case, we'll all we'd all look the same, we'd all be the same size, but you know, what works for me isn't gonna necessarily work for somebody else. And and and I've sat in that space where I've looked at another sister and gone, how did she? I want to be like her. And it's like I just need to be comfortable just being like me. Yes, because there's enough room in this world for for little old Zina as there is for beautiful Jay, you know?

SPEAKER_03 7:34

Yes, yes, yes, a hundred percent, and and what I also hear when you say that is like, and I fully believe this in so many ways, if we could all take that responsibility for our own lives, for our own path, for our own healing, for our own way that we truly authentically want to show up, the world would be a better place.

SPEAKER_00 7:57

Oh, 100%. You know, instead of being in this position of being right fighters and projecting and reacting, reacting to life instead of responding. Oh, I mean, totally, you know, we we we have the tools and the powers within us. And and you know, even as recently as last week, I I found myself in a situation, and you know, those of course, naturally I'm gonna be challenged. That's life. But there's a choice, you know. I have a choice as to I can I can react like the old Xena would spiral, be all dramatic, you know, turn into a boulder. Because I was really good at doing those things. I was really good at masking and and being reactive, or I can sit in it and and and be true to me and honor me with and and in that process coming out of it, not feeling shame, not regretting, not being like, Oh, why did I do that? But honoring me and saying, You're doing fucking okay. Like, yeah. And so I say it too often. I've done it myself for so long, where we look at others, we either envy others or we're asking others to give us the answers that often we need to look within.

SPEAKER_03 9:16

Yeah, agreed, agreed, and that's where the present comes from, the presence, right?

SPEAKER_00 9:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 9:23

And being in that awareness of self. And like you said, which I love, is like it's not about getting it right, it's about being present to the shift you want to make, and it might feel really uncomfy. And what you were meaning is like reacting the way you used to, but then observing it and not doing that, you know? Yeah. Because it's not a switch you flick, it's something that you have to get uncomfy with first.

SPEAKER_00 9:50

Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's not something that it's not a transformation that happens overnight, it's something that you have to sit with time and time again. But it's like a you know, it's exercising that muscle. The more you sit in that space, the more you allow yourself to be present. And it's as simple as like for me, it's being willing to just do nothing sometimes. You know, yeah. Oh, yeah. We don't have to react, but just be in that stillness and allow it to kind of like for me now. It's like, oh yeah. So what is this? What is the feedback? What is this trying to tell me? What am I ignoring or choosing not to look fully at? 100%, you know, and then and then move through it, you know. It's that whole for me, I spent too much time sitting in a place of unwellness and allowing that to be my identity instead of transforming and transitioning into a place where it's a lot more settled and a lot more peaceful in my heart and in my head.

SPEAKER_03 11:02

That's beautiful because that's what I was gonna ask you is like an example of when you did decide nobody's coming to save me, I've got to do this myself, like an example that was a big pivot point in your life. And that sounds like the area of wellness and and choosing your health and vitality.

SPEAKER_00 11:21

Oh, I mean, totally. I got in 2020 I got diagnosed. I mean, I've had lots of diagnosis, you know, a history of mental health, and then in 2020 I got diagnosed with fibromyalgia and CP, you know, all of these labels, and it's kind of like we start as as if like these labels define me, and I kept looking externally, but that doesn't, that's only aspects of me, it doesn't make up who I am, and I you know, and that's what I realized even now when I when I'm experiencing moments of flare-up or pain, is I don't need to go to somebody else to tell me how to do it, I just need to honor me. And and again, there will be people, people will know that feeling of in their gut, in their intuition, they know what's right for them, but somebody else is telling them that they're wrong. And then again, we're losing that because we're letting somebody else dictate what we intrinsically know to be right for us, and so how can we stay in that space without just making it transactional?

SPEAKER_03 12:29

Absolutely, and also like when we're not listening to what's coming through for us, we're not trusting our own inner knowing. Because what I was hearing as you were saying that is what people forget, or maybe haven't had an experience to understand yet, is the body knows the body's black and wise. And if we could just get into a space which I understand a lot of people don't understand yet, or haven't had enough of an experience to feel comfortable or connected to, is that the body will tell you what it needs. There is a yes and a no, but there's also a way to guide, but it's it's in the slowness and the stillness, right?

SPEAKER_00 13:11

Yeah, 100%. 100%. Yeah, I look at a lot of young ones nowadays because as a 50-year-old, and I'm still, you know, I'm still figuring out I'm far from perfect. I still have my moments, I still have my weaknesses and challenges, you know, where I have to make a choice. And then I see all these, you know, other beautiful Wahinian sisters, and I'm like, you know, and then I see that little bit of me getting a bit envious of, oh, I wish I was like them when I was their age. And it's like, yeah, but this is my journey. Again, it's shifting that mindset of you can't compare your path to somebody else's. You just have to honor you and honor me and be okay with that. Agreed.

SPEAKER_03 13:56

Yeah. Which, you know, and I might I think I've said this on the podcast before, but it baffles me that we compare to another when not one of us on this planet is the same. Like, what are we even comparing to?

SPEAKER_00 14:08

Yeah. Yeah, it's that conditioning, eh? It's that conditioning of somebody's got it better than me.

SPEAKER_03 14:16

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Or and the perception of perfection. Because there is no such thing, but the perception that I need it to be perfect is actually getting in the way. Because what does that perfect even look like? And not often people often don't even know. I'm striving for perfection. Okay, what does that look like? I don't know. So then what are you striving for?

SPEAKER_00 14:49

Yeah. You know, and sometimes we get scared of being in the ruts, you know, being in the in the in the pits of the darkness. But the reality is light cannot shine without darkness. We know this, you know, it's that duality.

SPEAKER_03 15:04

I agree. But it's also like that's fully being human. And there's a perspective that if we're feeling those things, if we're in the darkness, if there's uncomfortable, that we've done something wrong. So no, that's human. That is you being you.

SPEAKER_00 15:19

That's the experience.

SPEAKER_03 15:20

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 15:21

It's not a it's not a punishment, you know, because it's it's that shifting that even for me, why does this happen to me? Why me? Why, you know, and it's that that's the dialogue that I need to shift and change from.

SPEAKER_03 15:40

Yeah, it's such a powerful pivot, just like the belief of, you know, um, nobody's coming to save me.

SPEAKER_00 15:48

Nobody's coming to save me. I have to save me.

SPEAKER_03 15:51

You know, it's the same as and you get to. It's a it's a joy and it's a journey.

SPEAKER_00 15:57

It's a joy and a journey that you get to celebrate when you stop and and look back and go, Holy shit.

unknown 16:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:07

And and even when I'm sort of like had moments where I've caught up with old friends and and family, and they're like, Wow, because they knew the old zena that would be very and they see the, you know, and even having my husband saying to me, you don't sit in those spaces like you used to. So celebrating, celebrating those. And it's like, yeah, because I'm no longer making it somebody else's responsibility to make me happy. Yes, yes, and I'm no longer trying to control everything else.

SPEAKER_03 16:39

Agreed. You know, agreed. I'm really glad that you brought that up because that is also such a powerful piece, is the celebration. And actually, I was mentioning a little piece of that before we jumped on the recording, is around like how much we're moving through. And and the piece that I think that's missing, or that I can we can invite in is acknowledging how much we're moving through, because there's so much that we're meeting, that we're facing, that we're healing, that we're sitting in, that we're appreciating how we or no, but then we miss the appreciation, like we miss, like you said, it's really powerful to have it reflected back to us. And also, if we could add in doing that for ourselves, we'll actually get to see how far we come because we're often just moving the goalpost forward again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's go, let's go. It's like, wait, but did you see where you went, where you came from?

SPEAKER_00 17:28

Yeah, how far you've come. I um I'm on a journey of receiving my muckle koi.

SPEAKER_01 17:36

Oh, wow.

SPEAKER_00 17:37

Yeah, which is which has been beautiful, this unfolding and and and all of that. And I shared a piece of content about it, and it was just a moment, you know, it was just a moment. Press record, upload, shared, because again, for me, my sharing has always been about connection, about shining light and making somebody else feel less alone in those moments that we're all navigating. And you know, there's there's always those people that hurt people, hurt people, and the and the negative comments, which which was what I was talking to, and and it showed up. And it was interesting. What I found interesting was so many people dropped into my DMs going, Are you okay? Is that what they're really I put, you know, and I'm like, I'm actually okay with it. Like, I'm yeah, maybe a few years ago I would have got caught up in this spiral and caught up with the fight. But now I just see it as you know, it's it's a natural part of the of what you're doing and the truth you're sharing. In the hundreds of comments that have been on that piece of content, it's easy to focus on the few negatives and miss the hundreds of celebrating, loving, supportive words, you know. That's been the shift in me showing up for myself, me saving myself is moving because I would have, I would have got so caught up and then been like, oh, what am I? Who do I think I am? You know, all of that. But now it's like, yeah, come on. I've I've I've fried bigger fish than this.

SPEAKER_03 19:15

Yes, and upon reflection, usually a reaction that's negative, it means that you're it doesn't mean you're right and they're wrong, but it means that you're challenging what they believe. Yes, and bring it on. Yeah. Oh, so good. Now we get to move into question two, which is in the moment. This question I have for you is around your beautiful creations and the money that you do. And wanting to know curiosity who what do you dial into before you step into the work? Because I know that it's very spiritual. I know that you a lot of well, from what you've said, it's guided, right? There's some of it is guided. So what do you connect into when when you step into the work, or do you sometimes and not other times? Like, I'm just curious about your method and the transmission of what comes through in your creation, or it might be just completely intuitive, I'm not sure, but that's over to you.

SPEAKER_00 20:26

Yeah, that's a that's got many layers to it, eh? That that question.

SPEAKER_03 20:33

So I guess I'm asking from someone who's wanting to be more creative and someone's wanting to really connect to what's what's purposeful for me.

SPEAKER_00 20:43

Yeah. Yeah. I guess like when I think when thinking of that question, the first thing that comes to mind for me is what does creativity look like? And so often people think creativity is a gift or a skill or it's an ability that we've been bestowed upon us, and that some are more gifted than others. Came out of nowhere. Yeah, it's just come out of the dropped out of the sky. And I think back to we're all creative beings, you know, in the ways that we either express ourselves or show up, or how we prepare Kai, or you know, there's there's creativity in so much that we do, even going right back to when we were kids and how we would play. And you know, that it's it's about that con for me, it's about connection, you know, that connection to yourself. And I used to think in order for me to get into my creative flow, I had to do this certain ritual, and there are many times I do, but there are also times where sometimes I just have to show. Up exactly as I am, whether that's in my 90, you know, looking like I've just been dragged behind the back of a truck, and allowing myself to experience the transition through creativity. But when more specifically now, when I did when I, you know, because I can I can I can weave in and out of those spaces. Before it was, it was really hard to transition from life and into this realm of creativity. And it and it would take a lot. Now I can kind of dance and weave in and out of it again as I've exercised that muscle. And for me, very often when I start a piece, there is a process, you know, there is a process that that I honor for myself so that I can show up fully and allow myself to be basically like a I don't know what the word is I'm looking for, but I'm just the tool, you know, I'm just the one that's bringing it forward. Yeah, and so when I think about even the name Fuddy Cook or Toy and where that comes from, because it's an it's a name of ancestral land up in Hawke's Bay, that I fuck up to. But for me, it's the it's the meaning of that word and why I chose to allow it to be the identity of of who I am. Because when I think about how I create, it's not in here, it's often in my puku. And it's fuddy, is that it's that housing, it's that it reminds me when you're as a as a wahini, when you're happu and you're carrying life energy within you, and you're nourishing it and you're nurturing it, and everything that you're doing, doing in those moments is growing something, and and quite often that's how I see the art, is it's something that I through consultation with spirit, with Wadua, doing karakare, you know, dropping in, using things like incense and and rungwa and all of that, and allowing that to nurture the energy, the creative process, and then through the act itself, it it reveals itself. I don't always know what I'm gonna create, I don't always know what's gonna come out. There are some stages where it's a deliberate choice and thinking process, but when it comes down to the actual creative process, I allow myself to not sit in the resistance, not sit in looking at, oh, what's everybody else doing and and and the expectation. Just allow it to move through. So it's generally what I encourage people to do when they're when they're wanting to dive into that is just allow yourself to show up. That's that's the first thing you need to do, is you just got to be willing to take the first step. You know, whether that's carving out time to to write or to color in or to or to even draw something on the sand. It's just allowing yourself to show up and be willing to be in that space, and everything else will just start to unfold and and it will grow. So I know for me, when I'm in true creative flow, I'm not in here. I have to be in a heart space, and again, it's those deliberate steps that I take still take to drop in and get out of here to be able to allow the full yes, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 25:32

I love that. So there's an element in the beginning of practice and getting like honing the craft, yeah. And then that that brings you into a space of knowing and trust and just like letting yourself be guided.

SPEAKER_00 25:47

100% because how I create is very different as how somebody else creates. Yes. And in the beginning, I was very much like that, where I'd be like, oh, but I can't do this, and you know, and I would get so attached to the outcome, like I would be like, it has to look this way, and it has to, and that's what I what I've known now is it's it's not necessarily just something that looks pretty on the wall, it's the energy that people are often drawn to in the piece, and that energy comes through how I show up in the moment, and it's and and sometimes it's not perfect, yeah. Sometimes it's messy, sometimes it's highly emotional, sometimes there's anger, but it's it's being able to sit in that space, and that's what I that's what I've loved about being in a creative space, is it's allowed me to show up at all aspects of myself. Yes. And it just and it's okay. Like I don't just let it be, just let it move through me, and then watch the magic unfold.

SPEAKER_03 26:51

Yeah, that's incredible. I love that. Thank you for sharing. That's really it's really powerful. I can feel a lot in that, and also very much like our first question, it's authentic to you. But and you're absolutely right. It creativity looks different for everybody, and it's and it and it isn't a one, it isn't a being amazing at painting or or whatever else for everybody, for many. And I feel that because that's the part of the for me, creativity comes through curating events. Like cu creativity comes in, like, and it's and it's the music and it's the energetics, and it's the the story I want to tell, and it's the the what I want them to receive, and it's it's all it's all of it, and that just lights my you know, it just really spins my tires. And to me, you know, that but then also that's for others, and so then I was asking in a way of like which is I love it, obviously, as it just comes through me, but thinking about more creativity just for myself, and for what and for what you're describing is like there's emotions that move through you and you sit in that space, and letting that be another self-therapy.

SPEAKER_00 28:15

Well it is, it is, it's very much a a space where I can have those deeper thoughts, unpack some stuff, you know, sit in that space, and not you know, I don't need to rush it. I mean, you would have seen it too, Joe, when you when we talk going back talking about how creativity looks different for everybody because what works for me isn't necessarily going to work for everybody else. And when when I did that, the Mandela Wanangan, we had all used beautiful women in that space, and everybody was quite different. Responses, some were, you know, some with just and again, it's just how how you show up for yourself, where you meet where are you, you know, meeting the resistance and allowing it to be feedback to is this is this something that you just need to you know bring down or or do you need to just stay in that space and let it move through? Because, you know, as sure as we know the sun's gonna rise every day and it's gonna go down, we're never gonna stay in one state of an emotion.

SPEAKER_03 29:24

No, yeah, I hear you. Yeah. And it's again, it's always it's coming back to like how we move energy.

SPEAKER_00 29:33

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 29:35

Energy being the emotion within us, what comes up. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:40

You know, and it's and it's the gift of when you when you can sit in that creative space and allow yourself to sit in in a for me, it's sitting in that heart space and allowing those those murmurs and those whispers that that's where I feel like I'm starting to line up more with wider and spirit, guide, source. And think, you know, messages and to who will come through. And and it's just a knowing, you know. I don't I can't sometimes I can't explain it, you know, and I and I feel things and I see things and I go, whoa, that's amazing. I'm thinking, you know, 10 years ago, if I shared some of the stuff, people think I'm whacked, but now we're so much more open to receiving and hearing how spirit and energy can move and shift, that it's just such a beautiful dance to be a part of because I find so often we're we're stuck behind things like this. Yes, totally disconnected. And the beauty of being in creativity is it allows you to be fully connected to self and to what's coming through or what wants to come through.

SPEAKER_03 30:52

Oh 100%. 100% so juicy. I love that. Thank you so much for sharing. That's so cool. So now we want to get into question three, which means reflecting light, you have a question for me.

SPEAKER_00 31:09

Do I have a question for you? Oh you know I got one for me. I thought about this. I thought, nah, sometimes I just like to see how uh Yeah, I get it. I guess it's around you know, you sort of touched on it, what creativity looks like for you.

SPEAKER_02 31:32

How can I sort of form this into a question?

SPEAKER_00 31:43

What's been one of your hardest lessons that you've had to overcome as a creative, energetic energy person? What's been your lesson that you've had to overcome to be able to still show up and do what you do so beautifully every day, all day?

SPEAKER_03 32:05

I think it's that. I think it's that I show up and present that way even when I'm not feeling it. You know, however, it's also I think the biggest hurdle, which and you'll feel this too and in different levels, it still comes up is letting the fear of what other people think get out of the fucking way. Because also there's a degree now, this is my opinion, but there's a degree of selfishness in that because it's not about you, especially my work. So when I go to to to post something or to share something, and I'm like all in the fear of like what will other people think, I'm like, it's not about you, it's what other people need from what you're doing, and trusting that that will land in a way that it needs to land. So that I think that's definitely one of the biggest hurdles, and then also we actually it's just like this is threads of everything we've already talked about. It's the the not letting comparison hold me back, and noticing when I'm unconsciously seeking something, which I've very I don't really do that anymore, but I spend a lot of time doing that. And then doing in doing that, that that would stunt my creativity because there's so much noise, but also so much information, and you layer that with comparison of like what they're doing compared to what you want to say and how you want to say it. Well, a you just it just gets murky and muddy, but also you miss the meaning of why it came through for you. So that's that's a big part of it, I think. And also with the work that we do, well, again, as you said, we're stepping into new levels of awareness and awake. We're sticking stepping into the thing I can talk about, like I fully feel like I'm a witch, and there's certain spells and certain things that I tune into, and that will look differently to everybody. And then when I sort of, if I was to break that down for you, you'd be like, oh, that's just like a set of words in a prayer. It could be a karakiya to someone else, it could be a you know, just a certain little altar to others, like it's but there was that was a big hurdle for me because I was I was sort of in that world well before anybody could understand it, you know, and so there was a lot of fear around there, and that fear is it goes way back, many lives back, you know, being burned, being sacrificed, being all sorts of things, and that is true. We feel it in our being, we feel it in the healings that we do, and I've seen it in the clients that I've helped clear their past lives in in Akashic Records and other things like that, the the crimes and the wounds and the healing that they're connected to, right? But when we understand that these are things that are that we don't just we know, these are things we know, we feel there's more to that fear, it's not just a what will people think? It's like it's so my it's so layered, yeah. But I let that drive me, I don't let that stop me. And I say that to deepen the meaning of it. Like again, it's not about you, it's about stepping forward and what's true for you, and knowing that whether 10 people hate it and one person, it changes their life, because that's what I see in my work. It's the majority of people more people reject it because they're not ready, and that's okay than those that step in and are like, fuck yeah, let's do this. And it's absolutely understandable that it's like that because it's scary. It's not for the faint of heart. And you know that in the work you're doing, it's not for the faint of heart, but it doesn't mean that you can't do it. Parts of you will be telling yourself you can't, but it doesn't mean you can't. I think and again in that creativity, another piece that wants to drop in there is yeah, is a really big piece. So that started like right back in my yoga days, and then now even in the events is not is getting out of what you think it needs to look like and trusting, like you said, the creativity, what wants to come through, trusting that even when it's like, oh shit, that is that what we're doing? All right, and then you do it, you listen, and and you see the magic, you see the why. And I have that come through. Even this the retreat, I've got a retreat in two days. And I had this plan, a little bit of a plan for it. I never planned too much because I trust in the knowing, and I've got a lot now got a lot of experience in holder space. But then two days ago, it was like this idea dropped in, and I was like, Oh, we're doing that. And I I sat with it and I was like, Are you sure? And then like the what it needs to look like came in, and I was like, nah, we gotta trust this. And then I felt into it and I was like, Oh, that's a fuck, yes, we are doing that. But if I was in the what does it need to look like or comparing to others, I wouldn't let that come through. I'd be in the force, in the in the perfection, in the how will others receive it and what will they think about me? I better not do that because they might it might be a bit weird. But we love the weird.

SPEAKER_00 37:54

I know we do. The weird is the stuff that just goes off the most. Yes, yes. But isn't it a beautiful dance though? Like you said, you know, even when the resistance and the comparative and the what will people think? Because that never goes away, you know. It's like some people think, oh, we we we heal and this stuff stops. No, it doesn't stop. Yeah, still keeps presenting, but it becomes a it's like it's a dance, it's a beautiful dance, and instead of you kind of like, oh, I can't, you know, I'm I'm standing on both my you know, my partner's feet, it becomes more of a and you can dance into that space and realize, oh, is this what we're doing? And but then oh, okay, and we navigate and move this way, and it doesn't have to be linear, one road that's uh blinkers off, yeah. So being present enough and willing enough to see when little drop-ins happen and and sources sending you signs, and you're willing to go, oh, yep, I'll take that.

SPEAKER_03 38:58

Yes, 100%. It's so true, and you're right, it's not as though it doesn't show up for me anymore, and it's the same in whatever area you're wanting to work in. Those fears and those doubts will still be there. That's part of being human, it's whether we listen or not, it's whether we believe it or not. There are ridiculous fears and limitations that will appear, and you go, uh-huh. No, I'm going that way. I see that fear. Yep, not mine.

SPEAKER_00 39:29

No, thank you. And again, it's where are you supporting? Where is that fear being supported and fed from? Because sometimes, you know, when we're when we're trying new things and we're looking for guidance and we're looking for support, because you know, we we all need it and we all deserve it, but is it coming from a place of wellness and and you know that where that person is offering it with good intentions, or are we just sitting back into that comparative bonding, bonding over the oh wish, what's she gonna say? And what are you know, or are we do we have the right people around to keep nourishing that dream and those drop-ins so that it can keep flowing?

SPEAKER_03 40:13

Agreed, agreed. And then as you speak about your work and as I feel and is reflected to me in my events, that's when people truly receive what they need. Rather than when you curate something as what you think is meant to be, or what you think they'll like. It's and I feel I've felt that in certain events. It's like you go and it's just it's shiny, shiny whistles and battles. It's just like it's just this is what we think is popular, or this is what we think will have the most wow. And I'm like, mm-hmm. But it doesn't permeate in the way that's needed.

SPEAKER_00 40:49

No, and sometimes you know, you can come away from those experiences feeling a lot more lost and undone and confused than than when you arrived. So, you know, again, it's like I always kind of refer to it, it's like you see people coming into their spaces with all these hot ideas, or they're or they're trying to mimic somebody else's, and it's like, well, she's drinking the Kool-Aid.

SPEAKER_03 41:12

Yes, yes, so true, so true. We've got to drink our own Kool-Aid, doesn't have to be the same as everybody else's, yeah, and trust in the knowing that comes through because we're all got that. That's not rare to you and I, it's there for all of us. That inner knowing, as we've spoken about, I love the threads that come through in the questions we talk about, but it's like literally your body knows and it will respond and and help you guide you along the way. You're supported by the elements around you, by your two punera, if you're connected to that, like whatever is true for you, you're being guided if you allow yourself to be. So good. Zeno, I want to finish up with how do people connect with you? Like, what do you got going on at the mow?

SPEAKER_00 42:04

What have I got going on at the mow? So funny cookle toy on Instagram, Facebook. At the moment, I'm in transition. So I'm in, we've just gone through a process of having our old, beautiful, old home demolished and building a new home, which means I'm building a beautiful kick hat studio for me because I feel for the next season and the leveling up is being able to bring people into closer proximity with me and being able to work more intimately in those spaces of you know, whatever that looks like, whether it's creating or whatever. So yeah, I'm I do a lot of custom orders, which I really love to do. I really love it when people reach out and want me to honor their journey or their loved one or their story by creating something magical for them. So that's always that's always on the table.

SPEAKER_01 43:07

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 43:08

But hopefully by the end of this year, I will be in I will be in our new Fuddy and I'll be able to open up space and hold space to bring people in and continue sharing my wisdom and my knowing and magic. So good.

SPEAKER_03 43:25

I love that for the world, yeah. And for you. Thank you. I'll be there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we need I think we need to get you down this way for a while, Anga too. Yeah, heart out. Just remember me, reminded me. Well, Xena, thank you so much for your beautiful self. Thank you. Thank you for arriving here and sharing what's coming through for you and what you're working on. And I really do think that the combo will be of higher service to those some other people who are listening. And it was for me. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 44:04

You can talk for Sam what it was like, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 44:09

Thank you so much for being here. And yeah, I wish you a beautiful day.

SPEAKER_00 44:13

Thank you. Appreciate your time. Bye, Diorda.

SPEAKER_03 44:17

Ciao.