If Only I Had More Time

"If only I had more time."

It's one of the most common frustrations leaders bring into coaching conversations.

More time to think. More time to lead. More time for what matters most.

In this episode, Heather and Alicia explore what sits beneath the feeling of never having enough time and why the challenge is often less about calendars and more about choices, beliefs, priorities, and trade-offs.

As you listen, consider this question:

If time isn't the problem, what might be?

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Yeah, how you know, often it's like I start with the plan and then it blows up in the first five minutes. It blows up with that first email. It blows up with that conversation, that person that walks in the office or um yeah, emails, interruptions, firefighting, doing what's urgent first, not necessarily what's most important.

SPEAKER_00 0:22

Yeah. Yeah. Well, and I think that that's the part that's maybe a little uncomfortable. I certainly know it has been for me, and and I wouldn't say I've mastered time management, but I think I I'm more aware when I'm when things are falling falling apart, maybe catch it sooner.

SPEAKER_01 0:44

Hi, and welcome to the Pause Before You Lead. I'm Alicia Saint, and I'm Heather Haig. Together, we've both led teams inside large organizations. And over the past decade, we've coached and partnered with hundreds of leaders and teams navigating complexity. We've seen, felt, heard, and supported leaders through the challenging and sometimes really messy parts of leadership. And while a lot has changed, many of the patterns that quietly take leaders off track just keep showing up.

SPEAKER_00 1:24

We work with leaders who don't want to lose momentum, but who know that clearer thinking is what makes momentum sustainable. This podcast is for leaders who are moving fast, leading teams, and making decisions under constant pressure. And leaders who know there's a better way to think, lead, and respond in those moments.

SPEAKER_01 1:51

Each week, we bring you real conversations drawn from our work with leaders and teams. Where speed matters, stakes are high, and the quality of your thinking shapes everything. So in each episode, we're going to pause just long enough to think more clearly, to see what's really going on, make better decisions, and build high-value teams.

SPEAKER_00 2:19

Whether you're listening before the day takes over, on your way to work, or in the middle of a full day, this is your pause without losing momentum. So before we begin, take a breath and join us. Welcome to the Pause Before You Lead. I'm Heather Haig. I'm Alicia St. And Alicia, what are we talking about this week?

SPEAKER_01 2:53

Yeah, I'm excited. Um, this week, I've had a number of clients recently. Seems to be a recurring theme. And the first thing, you know, our first session is so um, you know, what are you hoping to get from our coaching? You know, what do you want to see different? It's like time management. I just need to figure out how to manage my calendar. I need more time in my calendar. I got to figure out how to delegate. And you know what? I know you probably get this question all the time, and you've probably got lots of great suggestions for me. Yeah. So yeah, if we could just work on time, that would be great.

SPEAKER_00 3:32

I'm smiling because my whole body just has a response that says, this is universal. Right. If only I had more time. Yeah. I see that means when I wake up in the morning. Right?

unknown 3:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:49

And there, and there's sort of this feeling of like, there's gotta be a better app. There's gotta be a better scheduling. There's gotta be a system that everyone else knows that I don't have. Like there's there seems to be this like, just give me the answer, Alicia.

SPEAKER_02 4:04

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00 4:08

But I think about the fact that, you know, maybe this is where we need to pause. Because time management's almost never about time, is it? It's often about how we're thinking, what we're choosing, and and the way we're leading both ourselves and others, how we're operating within the time that's allowed. So perhaps before we go any further on this topic, which I know will be a rich conversation, let's just take a moment. Plant your feet firmly on the ground. I often find it's helpful to just adjust the hips a little bit, get centered if you're sitting or standing, and just notice your breath. Like no need to change it or do anything differently, but I just just take a moment to notice the pace of your breathing right now.

SPEAKER_02 5:06

Is it fast? Is it slow? Is it shallow?

SPEAKER_00 5:11

Is it deep? And just take one breath, whatever feels most natural to you, so that you feel really present. And and let's start with a question in this moment what is it about time management that feels important to you right now?

SPEAKER_02 5:36

Hmm, that's all good. Thanks for that, Heather.

SPEAKER_01 5:41

Just to get out of my head for a minute, right? Just even to pay attention to, oh, where are my feet right now? If you're driving, don't keep your feet on the pedals. But it just helped me get out of my head for a moment, right? Just to go, okay, chasing time, chasing time, chasing time, never enough, never enough.

SPEAKER_00 5:58

Mm-hmm. Well, and it and it's interesting, even the pace we started this conversation, because it was that that frenetic energy of trying to do everything so quickly. Right. And and so much pressure's added on top of our expectations around time management. I should be better at this. It shouldn't be so hard. Other people must be better than me. And it's it's not just a time issue, it's also this like self-worth or self, you know, almost beating ourselves up issue in addition. So we're adding this pressure layer on top of the challenge of managing our time. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 6:37

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 6:38

Yeah. And it's interesting when you ask, you know, clients or you ask yourself, what would be different if I had more time? And often the answer is like a smile or just a like a freedom, a calm, a peace. Those words are all um, I hear all of those often. I feel it. I can feel it in myself too. Yeah. It's just it's a scarcity, right? Think about it. We're operating from a scarcity mindset, right? Never enough, never enough. How do I get more? How do I get more?

SPEAKER_00 7:20

Yeah, yeah. And that's sort of in that, in that pause, in that slowing down, in the checking in on what's really going on inside of us, that's where we start to be able to see that it's not really a time issue, right? Everyone has the same 24 hours in a day. So it's it's not that. It's what's happening within how we're choosing to use that time.

SPEAKER_02 7:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:51

Yeah. How, you know, often it's like I start with the plan and then it blows up in the first five minutes. It blows up with that first email. It blows up with that conversation, that person that walks in the office, or um, yeah, emails, interruptions, firefighting, doing what's urgent first, not necessarily what's most important.

SPEAKER_00 8:13

Yeah. Yeah. Well, and I think that that's the part that's maybe a little uncomfortable. I certainly know it has been for me, and and I wouldn't say I've mastered time management, but I think I I'm more aware when I'm when it things are falling falling apart, maybe catch it sooner. I think the part that's uncomfortable is that it when you start to look at how are we choosing to spend our time, um there's a there's a natural judgment that comes in, right? That says, like, oh, like, oh, I have to look at the choices that I'm making. And and that feels like an, or at least it can feel uncomfortable. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 8:54

Mm-hmm. There's a great question there, right? A pause question to say, huh, how am I actually choosing to use my time? Um, I know an exercise um that that can work for some people is to like literally take your calendar for a week and look at what are the choices and uh using that question, what are the choices that I'm making about how I use my time?

SPEAKER_02 9:21

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:23

Are you and as you go as you go through that, and that's it, that that sometimes even that exercise feels like it's gonna take too much time. So I do feel even resistance on the invitation to like just track and see how you're spending your time because what's underneath those choices are some beliefs. You know, I find this a lot with leaders who uh want to have an open door policy. I need to be available for anybody if they need me. And so that interf that choice or that belief interferes with the plans they've set for their time. You know, there's that that it feels selfish to prioritize my own thinking time or my own issues. Like I, if someone else needs something, then then my stuff gets put up put on the back burner. And again, it's like those beliefs at play that can interfere with how people are and I and I know this in myself, how I choose sometimes to manage my time. Like that's that's the underlying system that's at play. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 10:22

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 10:23

And and it's faster. Uh how many times, you know, I've said it, I've heard it, right? It's just faster if I just do it. And that leads to, you know, again, the pause that says it could be, you might be right. And what's the trade-off?

SPEAKER_00 10:43

Well, I think even in our in our partnership, Alicia, that's come up a few times along the way, where sometimes when one of us is really good at doing something and the other one either isn't, isn't as good at or doesn't know how, it's like it's just faster to just do it yourself. And but then is that helping? How might utilizing other people, using resources, asking for help, or showing someone else how to do something be empowering for them as well as beneficial to us, right? That mindset of it's just faster if I just do it. Well, maybe there is some truth, but is it good for you to keep those things? And I think as leaders build their businesses, like that tendency to do, try and do it all the same way they did before. Like, is it is it helpful, especially if you've got fantastic people on your team? Like, how might it actually be a gift to both of you to pass it to someone else?

SPEAKER_01 11:38

The magic of delegation.

SPEAKER_00 11:41

Yeah, which always sounds so simple, doesn't it?

SPEAKER_01 11:46

Trust. Right. Trust in others, trust, trust in yourself.

SPEAKER_00 11:52

Yeah. Well, and and it's so it's so interesting because the almost always in every conversation, and I know I've pursued this myself, is like, just give me a tool. Give me a tool to fix this. And the reality is if those beliefs are the underlying that leads us to choices, there is no tool that's going to stop those patterns. Right. So it's it's because when the pressure hits, when we when we come under the gun of trying to get things done, we'll just revert back to our old habits. And so there isn't a tool to stop that that's that's universally will work for people, is there?

SPEAKER_01 12:30

Yeah. It you know, often it can come down to three C's. We love three C's. And in this case, I think you could think about clarity. Well what's most important? What what sh you know what should I be doing that I uniquely should be doing? Right? I could be doing a lot of things.

SPEAKER_00 12:58

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 12:59

But what actually matters for me to do? Right. And so probably in there is clarity and choice, right? And also courage. What are you willing to let go of? Because underneath there's there's often, you know, to to delegate, there's some fear underneath that. Well, if I let that work go, that's the easy work for me. That's the work that gives me the quick dopamine hit because I know I can do it, I can do it really well, I can do it really fast, you know, it's done. And you know, I check it off, I cross it off my to-do list, right? So if I let a lot of that work go, what what do I fill it up with? Right? What what are the choices? What might you be avoiding?

SPEAKER_00 13:56

Yeah. I mean, I mean, it's again, those those three C's, the clarity part, it sounds so easy, doesn't it? Like just be clear about what your priorities are. You could just say that. But it's it's recognizing that what tends to happen when we're feeling time stretched or time crunched is that everything's become urgent and important. And so the clearer you are on the vision and the purpose and what role you play, I mean, zone of genius comes in here too, right? Like what's the part that's is most valuable for you to contribute? Not fastest at, but the most value that you can bring to each moment that you're right. And then what are the choices of where you're going to direct things differently? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So it's it's interesting because there's this decision of what do I stop doing altogether? Sometimes through that exercise, you'll be like, why are we even doing this anymore? I mean, isn't that I love the freedom that comes from that? Let's stop doing that altogether. What can I delegate or should I be delegating? What stuff shouldn't I be holding on to? Um and and like what what piece of things being done just so am I holding too closely to? So it can I get out of the way and I delegate, can I remove myself from that? So I'm not overseeing or micromanaging those actions. And there's probably some cost, right? There's some expense of just staying in this current space of not having enough time. What do you see as as being some of the things that are at stake if we're doing what we're always doing?

SPEAKER_01 15:47

Right? There's always a trade-off. There's only so many hours in a day that you can actually work. And some of us are working too many hours, right? And there's a whole, you know, physiological and your brain needs a break, and you you need to detach, and you need to sleep, and you need to, you know, there's lots and lots of science and research. And yet we still try and squeeze in 10 more emails before we go to bed. So what are you trading off? You could be trading off your health, trading off your clarity, your confidence, your emotion, you know, your ability to regulate and and manage yourself, show up as that person that you really want to be, time with family. There's there's there's always, yeah, is another great, you know, when you take that pause and you say, okay, what could I, what are my choices? What's the clarity? What are my choices? Where's the courage? What can I let go of? And recognize there's a trade-off.

SPEAKER_02 16:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:55

Yeah. Well, and even when leaders see this really clearly, so they've done the work, they've gone through the process, they've reviewed their time, they've got the clarity, they've determined what they're gonna delegate. How do they sustain it? Like how do we stay in that once you've gone through that process so that things don't start to snowball again?

SPEAKER_02 17:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:19

Um well, what I've seen with leaders is once you start to create that space and and use it get out of the doing so much and and start to use some of that time for thinking, for pausing, for reflecting, for noticing. Then you have time to plan, you have time to really see what's going on. It's like it's almost like you get up into a balcony, right? You get up onto the balcony instead of being on the dance floor and you can sort of see out and you go, wow, wow, I didn't notice that, you know, a whole bunch of people that aren't dancing anymore. Or, you know, the party doesn't seem to be as exciting as it felt when I was down on the dance floor, right?

SPEAKER_00 18:09

Just thinking about you going to see Michael Jackson tonight and the dancing. I mean, I love how that's come full full circle and being on the dance floor and then standing in the balcony looking down. That's right.

SPEAKER_01 18:21

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:23

Yeah. I mean, so planning a little bit of protecting that energy. So when you can sort of see, see from the balcony the bigger picture, and then how do you protect what you what you know is most important. And you something that you mentioned earlier, and I feel like this is going to be a whole other conversation for a future topic and episode, but this is about, you know, the difference between time management and energy management. Like you're saying, because I because you said, you know, like what's at stake or what we're trading off perhaps is our energy when we're working 80, 18 hours a day, when we're not prioritizing health or sleep or the other important things that that nourish us, that keep us fueled. Um and so starting to shift from thinking about time management to energy management, uh, which I know we'll we'll circle back to again in another conversation. So maybe maybe that leaves leaves our our listeners with this.

SPEAKER_02 19:28

If you say you don't have time. Pause and ask yourself, what am I choosing? What am I avoiding? What is it costing me to stay where I am right now? The power of questions and the power of a pause.

SPEAKER_01 20:07

It may not be easy, but it's impossible. It is. And I've seen it. I've seen those leaders that have come and started with I need to manage my calendar better, to leaving with not even talking about a calendar anymore. Yeah, it's possible. Yeah. And worth it.

SPEAKER_00 20:37

You know, but from personal experience, it's worth it.

SPEAKER_02 20:42

So join us next time on the pause before you lead. Have a great week, everyone.

SPEAKER_00 20:56

Thanks for joining the pause before you lead. If this conversation sparked something for you, share it. Because more leaders need space to think clearly in the moments that matter.

SPEAKER_01 21:09

Follow or subscribe so you don't miss an episode and let us know what's on your mind. We shape these conversations for you.

SPEAKER_00 21:18

Before you move on to what's next, pause just for a moment.

SPEAKER_01 21:25

And notice what might change if you led from here.