He Wastes Nothing — Peace in the Valley (Gia & Molly, Part 3)

Episode 9 (Gia & Molly, Part 3) is out now — redemption, humility, peace in the valley, and why testimony is about highlighting the Lord in the middle of the story.

🎵 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/purpose-in-the-pain/id1866616325

🎵 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2cqi1YmIAdLJfc6asLaFQU
▶️ Full video: https://www.youtube.com/@purposepain

Transcript

SPEAKER_06 0:03

There were times I remember as a kid thinking like kind of wishing something would happen to me. Like I wish like I wish that I had a reason to relate. Or kind of the feeling of like I can't go through a hard time because I know they've had it way worse.

SPEAKER_01 0:20

Alright, y'all. We are back and back in this conversation. And uh I'm man, this has been such a good talk.

SPEAKER_02 0:28

I've had so much fun.

SPEAKER_01 0:29

This is really I have.

SPEAKER_02 0:32

I know.

SPEAKER_01 0:32

I knew it was gonna be like this. Y'all were back with Miss Gia and Miss Molly, and uh we were talking to Miss Molly about her death. I just think the world of that man. And uh she was kind of telling us about what it's like uh to have him as a father. And Sonoma, we were on break, and Sonoma had a question. I'm gonna let you answer the ask the question. Just throw it out there.

SPEAKER_02 0:55

So I was just wondering, did you ever feel any guilt living there on the ranch with the other children that were displaced? Yeah, we're displaced, and then you you have this loving dad and this home that you have you can walk into every evening and know that you have a mom and dad there, and you know, just your your kind of normal family life, but you're seeing the struggles of your your peers. And I'm just wondering, was there did you ever feel any guilt in that? And how did you overcome that guilt, or how do you how do you deal with that?

SPEAKER_06 1:35

So I definitely did. Okay. In fact, like there were times I remember as a kid thinking, like kind of wishing something would happen to me. Like I wish. Like I wish that I had a reason to relate, or kind of the feeling of like I can't go through a hard time because I know they've had it way worse. Right. So there was kind of that context, and then of course, like further of just like I have an amazing family, and like I can genuinely say that it's not just safe, but it's an amazing family. So I would say that I definitely dealt with that guilt, especially as a young kid, because I mean, you know, kids also you have other 12-year-olds, they're gonna be like, Well, you have a mom and a dad, we're stuck here, or whatever. So then it makes me feel bad. Right. So I kind of got to a place where I just wouldn't mention some things. Um, there were things that I didn't want because I was like, I don't want to have something that the other kids can't have. So, like, whenever I eventually got a phone, I was very like self-conscious about that. I was like, I was like, I don't want it, just keep it out of my sight as long as you can. Because like I didn't want to have something and accidentally rub it in their face or anything like that. But and to honestly, I don't think that's a bad thing, honestly. Yeah, but in terms of like actual guilt, um, I would say that I definitely struggled with that for a while. Just I didn't know what to do with that because I was like, I can't apologize to them for like having something that was given to me. But something that my dad has always um said and talked about because he grew up in a pretty good home life as well, is he said that he tries to not see it as having something that they don't have, but as something that he can strive to give to them. Right. So something that I see it as now is I just I see that I had a great family, that I have people who encourage me, people who gave me a good example. And now there's kids here that if I get stuck on the fact that I have it and that they haven't had that, then I'm not gonna be able to show them what that's like. Right. So getting to work with them and like saying, look, these people love you, these people want to encourage you. Your house parents, they're great examples of what it looks like to follow the Lord. Like Gia's house parents, I love her, or her past house parents, they're still here. I love them so much. Um, they serve the Lord um just so faithfully. And I think that's the perspective that kind of shifted that. And I would say that kind of that guilt was what got me into the place that eventually led me to wanting to get serious about my faith. Because I kind of hit a rut where I was like, I don't understand why I'm struggling so much, just living life. I was like, I don't understand the purpose of everything. I just hit this rut of just like, I'm going through a hard time, but I don't feel like I'm allowed to go through a hard time. Right. Because, like, again, everyone else has had it so much harder than me. And so I was just like, I feel like I just feel so weak because I'm not like I'm not thriving like I should be. I was put in this amazing place and yet I'm not able to thrive. But it's because I wasn't like abiding in the Lord and I didn't understand what that relationship looked like. So I think eventually once I got in that relationship with the Lord and He like called me out of that place of self-pity, I was able to kind of look back and realize like it's just it's not about me. Right. You know, it's just not about me. Right, it's about serving him and then serving others. And if I'm so fixated on myself and I get caught up in that self-pity, then I'm not able to move on and serve him faithfully, which in turn can help other people. Absolutely. So I would say that was kind of the spot that I was in. And as a kid, it was just kind of a kiddish thing, you know. I was like, Stop hugging my dad, that's my dad.

SPEAKER_07 5:14

You know, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 5:15

But then, you know, as I got older, the Lord kind of showed me how that was just a mission in itself, right?

SPEAKER_02 5:21

So right, and it shifted to you get the privilege to share. Yes. There's so much out there that you you get to share that, and that's that's beautiful.

SPEAKER_04 5:30

That's a beautiful thing.

SPEAKER_01 5:33

So how did y'all like y'all are like sisters? I mean, truly sisters. How did y'all, I mean, how did that relationship really blossom and bring y'all to where you're at now?

SPEAKER_03 5:45

You got it. Yeah. Well, when I got here, I was I walked into the office where they have a display of all the children who are currently there who are are past graduates or still graduate. Exactly, exactly. And I kept hearing, oh, you're gonna love Molly. She's great. And I was like, who is this Molly girl? And I met her and I was like, ah, yes, that's why. Um, I would say, and you can correct me on this too. Um, in high school, like we were friends, we were on the volleyball team. Now she's a grade older than me. Yeah, she when I was a senior in high school, she was a freshman in college and she was my volleyball coach as well. So that shifted as well. So we um I didn't I only saw her during school because like I went back to the houses after she went back home. But school is where we saw each other, we were in classes with one another, we were on the volleyball team, and then even when she graduated, she was my coach. But I would say our friendship really blossomed when we started to do life together, like living alongside one another. Um, we're both older now, so I'm a freshman in high school, or a freshman in college. You're a sophomore, right? I'm a sophomore. But at the time I was a freshman in college, yes, yes, yes. And then she's a sophomore in college. So now we're finally getting to do life, like actually living with each other, and like I can talk to her whenever I want, and not just at school as well. And I and that's when we both know the Lord and we're taking our relationship with him seriously. And I think kind of like what you're saying with your dad, you're able to further a relationship with your father because you see and understand his love for the Lord and how that in turn results in how he interacts with everybody. I think that's what how when our relationship furthered is when we understood the love for the Lord and were able to just connect and relate in that sense, live alongside one another, chasing him together. And now sometimes it gets ugly. Like, and there's so much grace in that. Um, there was a point where kind of like what you were saying, I resented her for having a good um relationship with her father and her mom and having a good family. And like I wasn't like mean to her, I just was withdrawn and like standoffish, standoffish and distance, and like at some point, at one point the Lord just overwhelmed me and should and he was like, Gio, what are you doing? Like, this is your sister. Why are you jealous of a gift that I've given her and that she's been able to steward so well? Why am I um having so much hate for her, for her, for that? And so I had come up to her one time and I was like, Can I just talk with you? And she obviously talked with me and I explained to her everything that I had just told you, and I just said I'm sorry, and then I don't want to have this burden anymore, this hate. And you wanna kind of say your perspective off of that?

SPEAKER_06 8:46

Oh well, uh, I do remember that conversation. Yeah, just that one. And uh yeah, I was just I listened and then I was like, okay. And then I just kind of sat there and I looked at her and I was like, it's okay. Exactly. I was like, it's forgiven, you know?

SPEAKER_03 9:01

And she was just like, Oh. That's just because we both know the Lord, and we know that there's so many things that may seem big and catastrophic and like relationship ending in the secular world, but that's literally nothing to us because I remember she was like, I got really worked up about this conversation.

SPEAKER_06 9:23

It's so easy, right?

SPEAKER_03 9:25

Right, exactly. Yeah, and so I would say just college life, just as stereotypical as that is, but we really get to see each other in like low moments, high moments, get to exalt one another. Right now, we're great accountability buddies. I'll go to her with things that I'm struggling with, like disciplines of the Lord and um fruit or lack thereof, and I'll just be vulnerable and raw with her, be like, Molly, I am struggling, and then she'll back it up with scripture and wisdom and nothing like yeah, exactly, not like worldly models, like protect your peace. Like, yeah, it's all about you. No, it's not about you, and that's exactly exactly. And she told me, like, Gia, humble yourself before the Lord humbles you, yeah, and so that's a sister in Christ who won't let me stray away from the Lord, who will see when I stray away and then correct me in a loving manner, and also in a way that I need to hear it.

SPEAKER_02 10:22

Right, yeah, because our personality tops they're they're all different. And so if someone were to come to me and to show me some correction, I'm not saying like you have to come to me in a certain type of way. But but our personality tops are different and God knows. God knows that. I mean, he's gonna he's gonna send someone to you that's going to be able to um to relate to you and to tell you, you know, how you need to, how you need to be told and to love on you and stuff. So and just the maturity is like overwhelming to me. I'm sitting over here sitting like, can I take notes?

SPEAKER_01 10:59

You know, when um I remember um, like I said, been there since 2017. And and I was just thinking about this the other day. James had just taken over. There was a whole changer over in the board. Your dad was there through the end of that. There was an executive board and there was a school board, and they there was conflict and ended up streamlining that into one board. Your dad went from principal to headmaster. And since then, this board has been fairly unified with James, very few changes. There's been a couple people that have come and gone, but for the most part, it's been one unified board. And I was just thinking about this the other day, and uh when we were at it's almost like, well, we've grown up together. I mean, we're grown adults, but we're learning how to do this thing together, and there's been some really hardship with Still Creek that we've gone through. There's been years of abundance, there's been years of blessing, there's been years of hardship. And I mean just hardship. But I'll never forget the day that your dad came to the board uh wanting to do the transition. And, you know, I've I've always been uh felt drawn to youth and kids and that kind of thing. I I'm not equipped the same way your dad is. You know, I'm a I'm more of a back scenes kind of guy. And so but I was involved in Cossack. Okay, and I was a CASA for several years, and still some of the most cherished things I ever did was with Cossack. But you know, when you start looking at those kids when they get out, when they age out, they're gone. And I'll never forget your dad who wanted to fix that problem, that's still great. And we had that house that was we didn't know what to do with it. He wanted to make it a transitional living place. And so we did that initially with the boys and then the boys and the girls, and and to know that you know he is constantly thinking through strategically the best way to provide to give a chance to the youth there to know that in actuality at its fruit is relationships like this, because you had a chance to m to transition from being a student to being a young adult and leaning on one another. Or quite arguably, even a regular household, the kids out and gone and they're out there on their own, and they still I mean, there's a disconnection there, but y'all got such a sisterhood and brotherhood there at that school that it cultivates an even deeper relationship. So, you know, for me it just brings me so much joy knowing that that's that decision led by your dad to do that has led to relationships like this and foundations in Christ like that. That that means a lot.

SPEAKER_03 14:26

Right. I'm grateful for it that he wanted me to stay in so I can do life. And Molly's in launch as well. So she's out of her parents' house and she's learning how to live with other people. What's this life skill to learn how to live with a roommate and be an adult and going to that transition of being accountable for yourself, you know.

SPEAKER_01 14:51

Um so yeah, that's that's huge things, absolutely. You know, there was um there was a couple other things that kind of came to mind as we were talking through this, and we were on one of the breaks and uh we were talking about testimony, and Gia brought up, you know, as you were talking about your testimony, it was like, I want to focus on the good. Yes. Can you speak a little bit about what you meant by that?

SPEAKER_03 15:17

Because I feel like so many times, I mean, your story is your story, but you tell the testimony to highlight the Lord in it. It's not to highlight the evil of the world, but it's to recognize it in the evilness that it is, but then highlight how the Lord is behind the scenes and right in front of you the entire time. I think sometimes people can get focused on just dwelling too much on the past and the negative and not emphasizing on the Lord and how he brought you out of that. That's where it is.

SPEAKER_02 15:51

It's all for his glory, it's all for precisely you know, for us to um to be able to glorify him. And even in those hard, dark times, so we still have the opportunity to to glorify him. And in doing that, brings healing to ourselves. So each time that we share and each time that we glorify him even more than and die to ourselves, you know, a little more, it's a little more healing. It's and then then the next thing you know, you you look in the mirror and you're like, Who is this person? You know, right? I I knew someday that I might get to be this person, and it's it's it's just really refreshing to hear young people learn it so soon, you know, because it it is. It's um when you can learn some simple I say simple, it's it's not always simple by any means, but you know, to be able to to glorify him, die to ourselves, glorify him, and then in doing that, we don't even know what all he's doing on the inside until you wake up one day and you almost don't recognize the person that you are now.

SPEAKER_03 17:00

Right, right. And it kind of answers the question why some people who I mean I had this question when I was new to the faith, like, why does God let us go through bad things? Why does God let us go through the things?

SPEAKER_02 17:12

Yeah, he's such a loving God.

SPEAKER_03 17:13

Why do we did he take my mom? Why did he take my dad and my grandma or grandpa, whatever the situation is, and then some people may get mad at the Lord for that. Well, he lets you go through these sufferings because it's all for a reason, and we may not be able to see it at that time, but it's all for a reason, and he has an alter ulterior um ending that we we're not able to see, but he knows it. And sometimes we just get clouded in the fact that, like, no, we're just sitting in suffering, but no, it's so that we can if we don't suffer, then we don't see how great the Lord is, right? If we could pull us out of that suffering, we wouldn't need the Lord, but no, we need the Lord because He's the only one through His death on the cross, through salvation, that's how we're able to get out of it because He beared the ultimate suffering, and so that's why you can't expound too much and highlight the Lord.

SPEAKER_01 18:09

Right, you gotta have the valleys and the hills, you know, because growth happens in the valleys. That's where everything's green, that's where you get sustenance, that's where you get your water, that's where you get the things that nourish you. At the same time, that's where you go through all the stuff, you know?

SPEAKER_07 18:27

Right.

SPEAKER_01 18:28

And then you have to have some periods of time where you get to the mountaintop where you're extremely close to him, but you're able to get some perspective and see, oh well, that's where I came from.

SPEAKER_07 18:41

Right.

SPEAKER_01 18:42

And that's where he's trying to take me. Alright, tell me go back in. Here we go. You know, I mean because I got another, you know, ten miles to go up there. But if you don't ever have a chance to get to that mountaintop, you don't ever have that inspiration to go to the next step and realize exactly where you came from. But those those valleys are so healthy. But if we get to nobody likes to go to mosquitoes and humidity and all this stuff, it was just horrible.

SPEAKER_03 19:12

But yes, yes.

SPEAKER_02 19:15

But in those sufferings, I mean the Lord tells us that he wastes nothing. And we live in a fallen world, and these things are going to happen just because we were born into this world, but he will take those things that were meant for evil and turn them around for his redeemment, right, turn them around um for his glory, and um so we have to we have to look at that too. That sometimes that's hard, you know. We have to take a step back and go, um I live in this world, it is a fallen world, and these are things that are gonna happen as a result of sin. And but he will take he waste nothing. So everything that the enemy tries to bring us, everything that the enemy has tried, even our own self-demise that we have done to ourselves, he still will take those broken pieces and he still will say, I can use that, I can do something with that. I have a plan for that if we humble ourselves. And that's sometimes where we get lost in in the translation. Nobody wants to humble themselves, you know. It's not always a fun place to be. You don't want to go to the valley, you know. But so they say there's peace in the valley. Yeah. No, he's even not in the valley. I mean, usually that's when we become closer because we're we're desperate, we're reaching out, you know, we're in pain, we're hurting, we're sad, we're depressed, we're, you know, whatever, whatever it is in that in that valley, that's when we tend to reach out to him even more and try to get even closer because it hurts, you know, and and he tells us that he's close to the brokenhearted. He's like, oh yeah, it's about as broken as I can get, you know. So come on, come get close to me, you know, even though we uh you weren't the one that walked away, I did, or you know, I didn't say in my word like I should, or you know, whatever. But um it's it's still good to walk with him always.

SPEAKER_06 21:25

Always that's part of like kind of what we were just talking about, is like why our friendship has grown so much, is because we've been able to see each other through those different areas. And it's just I don't know, it's we get to practice what it looks like to be the church and to be sisters in Christ with one another, even whenever we kind of stumble sometimes. And I I I'll never forget a time back in high school whenever oh my god. It was like before we genuinely became like best friends. But there was a time that her and I were both like secretly jealous of each other. But we didn't tell each other. Right. So I'm over here thinking, she's so cool. She's so much better than me. And I was jealous of her. But then she was thinking the same thing. And there was one thing we like came to each other. And we're like, look, I'm so sorry. I just have to tell you, I've been really jealous and I've been holding a lot of resentment. It was like, wait, really? Me too. And like, I think I always think about that as one of the first times that her and I saw what it looks like to have accountability with one another. Right. And we've just been able to walk honestly since then and just bring things to one another. And it's just, it's really cool because walking with her has really helped me just to see what Christ-like friendship looks like. Right. And we're both learning to some degree what that looks like in the real world. And it's just been really cool because we get to pray with one another and just in everyday life practicing, saying, hey, you know, this is a mundane, boring moment, but like let's turn it into let's pray about something, or just something along those lines. And it's just been cool having someone who you've gone through the valleys and the mountains and being able to turn those moments into something that glorifies the Lord. Right. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 23:11

So have y'all been able to um take this to your campus? Um, are you part of any um movements on campus, or do y'all have something that you're doing on campus where you're taking this and and you know taking it to the secular world?

SPEAKER_03 23:28

Well, I like to brag on Molly for a second. Um, we go to different churches. So she goes to First Baptist Brian and I go to Restoration Church Brian. So we're both in Brian. Um, and so one thing that I always say is Molly leads a Bible study at um uh at her church. So her and a partner, and they faithfully lead a Bible study every single week. Now, whenever I meet new believers or I meet somebody who is in need of plugging into a just community group, I always plug Molly. I'm like, well, my friend has a Bible study at First Baptist Brian. And I also plug mine as well. Now I'm not the leader of it, so like I just invite them as friends, but I also know Molly, like in her ministry, like I know her and I know her heart and I trust her exactly, exactly. So I think it's just a part of being able to be proud of one another and support each other's successes. Yeah, like that's something that's not in secular friendships. Like people envy each other.

SPEAKER_02 24:25

You can be someone's very best friend and just love them to death, and you it's still sometimes that jealousy creeps in, right?

SPEAKER_03 24:31

You know, and right, yeah, right, and that's just because we have the Lord in our friendship, we're able to celebrate one another instead of secretly like being jealous. Yeah, sure.

SPEAKER_01 24:42

You have the Lord in your in your friendship, but you also the Lord has moved you to a point where you have some humility and courage. So there's a there's a manner of character he's built in through your circumstances and through your circumstances from two totally different spectrums to the middle. And you don't understand now how profound it is that two young women are humble enough to come to each other and say and then have the courage to say, I've been feeling this way, and then to actually have that confrontation.

SPEAKER_07 25:22

That does not exist very much at all.

SPEAKER_01 25:26

And um there's times that I've been a very loved, hated individual because um I used to not be this way, but I'm very confrontational now. And if there's an issue, we're gonna have it out.

SPEAKER_07 25:42

Right.

SPEAKER_01 25:43

Because I would rather address it and get that burr out from underneath the saddle now than to let it prolong. You know? And yeah, so the the humility that y'all have and the courage that you have to sit down and do that, each time you do it, it gets easier.

SPEAKER_02 26:00

Right, right. Yeah, it's just second nature now. You know, I would think like, hey, can I talk to you about something? Or like, hey, you know, I'm feeling some type of way, or you know, whatever. And then, but also too, those may even become lesser issues, yeah. You know, as you continue to grow in in humility and and things like that, those those instances will probably be further and further.

SPEAKER_06 26:24

And something we always talk about is the concept of we're not calling each other out, right? We're not just pulling something out to embarrass one another or to make a dig big deal about it, but to call each other higher. Right. So not to call each other out, but to call each other higher. And we always talk about just like how Paul talks about walking worthy, saying, Hey, there is this thing going on either in my life or something that I'm seeing maybe a behavior. It's just like we need to call each other higher to serve the Lord together. And it's not to embarrass you, it's not to say that I'm better than you. It's just coming to each other humbly and being able to say, we're both in this for the long haul to serve the Lord, and we want to run the race with endurance. So we're gonna show each other whenever it's like, hey, you're carrying something that's weighing you down right now, and you need to let go of that if you want to run the race, basically.

SPEAKER_02 27:16

Yeah, just slow me down now. Trying to run this race together, right? Right.

SPEAKER_06 27:21

But that's what's fun, it's like sometimes we bring things to each other, and sometimes it's like, hey, I see this going on with you. Right. But it's always like what y'all were saying, it's just how having someone else who has the humility with that makes it so much easier, and it just starts to grow you because I'm not good at being confrontational. Yeah. Gina knows that I'm not good at being confrontational, but she started to teach me what it looks like to have boldness in friendships and how to approach someone with gentle love, but also like truthful love. Exactly. Not hindering or watering down the truth just because you're afraid of bringing something to someone's attention. Right.

SPEAKER_01 27:59

So I had a friend, I gotta look this up. I had a friend that uh said this the other day on his podcast, and uh he shared it again that night. And it was, gosh, it was profound.

SPEAKER_00 28:26

Love without truth is a love, it's deception. Truth without love is a truth, it's aggression.

SPEAKER_01 28:38

Josh, man, he said that the aggression is truly good. Yeah, and uh, I think that you know, by and large, the church misses a lot of that especially the the truth and love part. You know, you're quick to speak truth, but it ain't in love.

SPEAKER_02 28:55

Right. Well, I mean, it's the same like when you discipline a child. If you're not disciplining a child in love, it's abuse. You know, and and so it's the same thing. It all has it has to be in love because if not, then what's the opposite of love? Then, you know, God is love and the opposite of that is an enemy.

SPEAKER_01 29:13

So you can't walk in both. Thank y'all for joining in again. If you want to support Steel Creek Ranch, go to steelcreekranch.org. There's much multiple ways to give, pray, volunteer. Even if you're not from Texas, there's still ways to be again.