Jesus Riding Shotgun

New episode out now — a raw and hopeful conversation about “church in the truck,” trusting God’s direction, moving from survival to living, and letting Him reshape the words and gifts He placed in you.
🎵 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/purpose-in-the-pain/id1866616325
🎵 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2cqi1YmIAdLJfc6asLaFQU

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:13

Robin Scotgun, you know, and and I'm sitting there talking I'll talk to him like I'm just like we're talking right here. Right. You know, it's not it's not always just a prayer, sometimes it's a conversation.

SPEAKER_04 0:22

Conversation.

SPEAKER_01 0:23

Telling that's that's church.

SPEAKER_04 0:25

Yeah, it's conversation. That's church. Yeah, church and the truck.

SPEAKER_00 0:29

For that last conversation with Lacey and Jeremy. I got deep pretty quick.

SPEAKER_05 0:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 0:34

Yeah. Yeah. Dermy's a character too. He is. And uh man, Lacey, she's just as genuine as all get out. You know, I just uh I can't imagine living what they've lived through.

SPEAKER_03 0:44

Me neither. And I'm just so thankful that they were able to listen to the Lord and come forward and share their testimony because there are so many stories like theirs out there, and there's people that just feel hopelessness. And like we said in the first episode, there's always hope. There's always hope. And I'm just so thankful that they opened up and are willing to share what they've been through in order to help someone else.

SPEAKER_00 1:10

Yeah, me too. It was a great conversation. Hope you enjoy it.

SPEAKER_01 1:14

And so, but that was a lot, that was it. Whenever it was destroying my family, I'm like, I walk away. My dream has always been to play music. You know, truck driving is just a thing that just keep my family afloat, you know. It's right, it's not a dream, you know. It's been a great career for me, you know, especially, you know, I'm you know, somebody that's not hasn't been through college or you know, you know, fellow, you know, dropped out of high school and and uh I w I've actually been able to make something for my family, you know, from nothing. But you know, hey, God it God takes it that direction. He knows I'm right, I'm jumping on that.

SPEAKER_03 1:52

Well there's so much you have so much time in that in that truck for him to talk to you, for you to talk to him, for him to download whatever word that he has, whether that word is gonna come through vocally speaking like we are now, or that word's gonna come through worship, however, that word's gonna come through and he's got you in a place where he has your attention. Right, and I think that's downloading it. He can download those things to you.

SPEAKER_01 2:18

And and it's crazy, you get it all the time. You ride down the road, and that's the greatest time you're like just I've done that so many times. Just turn just turn the radio down. Yeah. And just you start talking. And I know people's gotta look at me like I'm crazy. Right, right. You know, I might look like I'm talking to somebody on the phone, but I'm not.

SPEAKER_03 2:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:42

And so, I mean, I'm talking about.

SPEAKER_03 2:44

You got Jesus on the main line.

SPEAKER_01 2:46

Riding Scotgun, you know, and I'm sitting there talking, I'll talk to him like I'm just like we're talking right here. Right. You know, it's not, it's not always just a prayer, it's sometimes a conversation.

SPEAKER_05 2:56

Conversation.

SPEAKER_01 2:57

You know, we're talking about this. Right. And and and then it's like it's like you get everything out, you know, and then all of a sudden it's silent, and you start getting this playback. Man, I'm telling you, that's that's church. Yeah, it's good.

SPEAKER_04 3:11

Yeah, church in the truck. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:13

Church in the truck for sure. Yeah, I think that's I think you're right. I think that's where he's got Jeremy right now. That might be another song, right? There you go.

SPEAKER_04 3:23

That's right, you never know.

SPEAKER_00 3:24

And invest in their lives and stuff as you go across the country.

SPEAKER_01 3:28

Yeah, we ran we run into some. Some of them is like, Lord, am I okay to talk to them? You do, you get that.

SPEAKER_03 3:39

I mean, you know, sometimes like sometimes you're making that you're safe.

SPEAKER_01 3:41

People around Colorado when it's you know, it gets kind of weird, you know, in some places I'm like, you know, but it he does urge you for sure. When you, you know, you're gonna be able to do it.

SPEAKER_03 3:52

Because he's already prepared their heart to hear the word that he wants you to give them. That's what my sister and I were talking about yesterday, where she was like, you know, I just I just feel like I don't tell people enough about Jesus. And, you know, I just feel like time is short and I just need to tell people about Jesus. And she's like, I just can't walk up to somebody and say, Jesus loves you and I don't want you to go to hell. And I was like, Well, I don't always think that's the way that he wants you to do it anyway. I think sometimes it's he will urge you to the people that he has already been preparing their heart because they're not always gonna listen to what we have to say if their heart is not prepared. That's right. But if their heart if he's been dealing with them about something, and then you come along and you you drop what he has told you to say, that could be the very thing that makes them believe.

SPEAKER_00 4:37

Sometimes it's just kindness.

SPEAKER_03 4:38

Oh, absolutely kindness. Opening the door.

SPEAKER_00 4:41

I was at a hotel at a function, and I I came out and there was a janitor trying to come in. And all I did was, hey man, how are you today? I mean, just just genuinely talk to him about his day and how he was feeling, and he looked at me like I had three heads in the very beginning. Then we just had a brief conversation. I never really preached to him at all, just showed him some kindness, and I think that's missing, you know. And sometimes that's all it is, just to open somebody change their direction.

SPEAKER_02 5:12

Right. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 5:14

Well there was one in uh there was in Loveland. Loveland Loveland Colorado. Anyway, I I I delivered a load up there and and I and I walked off and it was an older, older black lady. And and and she was real you know, real nice and stuff, and and the only thing, you know, I always tell somebody, you know, every morning I I'm like, be blessed. Be blessed. And I said, be blessed. He said, I will take that, and then before you know it, we're sitting there going back and forth about having church right there. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. I mean, it's it's those times, man. And I love how God can just show up and say, Hey. Yeah. Right.

SPEAKER_03 5:56

Yeah. No matter what you're going through, and he'll always put you in front of somebody that you can show kindness to, no mat you know, no matter what you're doing. And it's the little thing. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 6:06

Absolutely. But the thing a great thing about it is, you know, it's taken day by day is every single day you wake up in the morning, you got air to breathe. You got another, you got a brand new day to do it different.

SPEAKER_03 6:17

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 6:18

Every day is different. Like, you know, and we get caught up in that. We talk about the end of the world all the time. All the time. But we never talk about the end of our world.

SPEAKER_02 6:28

Right.

SPEAKER_01 6:28

Whoa.

SPEAKER_02 6:29

Yeah, that's good.

SPEAKER_01 6:30

And so when you really think about it, and you and you and you you think and and that's why he told you tomorrow world by itself, yesterday's dead and gone. Today is the day you live for for Christ and you live for God. And we do that day by day.

SPEAKER_05 6:45

Right.

SPEAKER_01 6:46

We're we we keep ourselves ready. And you know, it's like stay why you know, keep watch. Yeah. You know, we stay and ready because we never know when it's you know, and we can't explain it. Nobody can explain it.

SPEAKER_02 6:58

Right.

SPEAKER_01 6:59

All we gotta do, all but all we can do is is trust God and and his process.

SPEAKER_03 7:03

Yeah, and that process. It can be tough. It can get heavy. It can get heavy.

SPEAKER_00 7:11

Yeah.

unknown 7:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:12

You know, there's I was talking to somebody because I I d I do a lot, I'm engaged in a lot. And somebody made a comment about man, you look stressed, and I'm like, you know, it's not it's not stress. To me, stress is you're trying to control something that's outside of your control. Right? But there's that it doesn't take away the weight of a matter. You know, you can still feel the weight of a matter because the decisions that you make or the actions that you do have heavy consequences. And it doesn't need to be taken lightly. Right. You know, and so you can feel the weight of a matter and it it it weighs on you because you want to make the right decision that he's leading you to. You don't want to make something outside of his will because it impacts all these people.

SPEAKER_02 8:02

Right.

SPEAKER_00 8:02

And that's one thing that I've been dealing with a lot lately, is that it's it's not so much stress, it's the weight of the matter, and then still at the weight of the matter, you have to give that over to him. But just take it so personally, I don't want to miss what he wants.

SPEAKER_01 8:22

That's I mean, we're supposed to.

SPEAKER_04 8:23

We're supposed to be able to do that.

SPEAKER_01 8:25

We don't, you know. Sometimes, you know, when we get caught up in, I mean, it's easy to get caught up in the thing, and and that's the that's the hard part about you know, separating yourself from this world and giving yourself to his world. Because you know, he says not be conformed to this world, you know, and so and and and it's you know, you know, I'm like, Lord, I know I'm not supposed to be conformed to this world, but I still have to live in this world until you come and get me to bring me to your world. So what am I you know, right? I mean, and and and I'm that guy. I'm I'm like, Lord, I need direction, but you already know that if I had a brain, I'd take it out and play with it. I need that pillar of fire that you give Moses. Like I need that kind of I'm uh I it's almost like you gotta beat me over the head with it, you know, get you know, get my attention on what you need me to do.

SPEAKER_05 9:16

Right.

SPEAKER_01 9:16

I'm like, because I'm dumb. I'm just straight up telling everybody, I'm dumb. I fall in, I mean I don't, you know, and it takes me a while to to really grasp them, but it's like there but there's a moment it seems like and you're like, okay, I got it. I get it, I get it. I got you. Yeah. I see. Right. Yeah, and trust and trusting his direction. I was coming, matter of fact, on this last run coming down from Oklahoma, uh, you know, uh 35 was jammed up, I've you know, 40 all the way, you know, going into Oklahoma City was jammed up. So I'm thinking, and and then this is this is something God showed me. I was taking this one direct, you know, the following the GPS and go around and it led me around and like I'm like, man, it's got all these red lights. Like, I ain't got no business being down this road. All these red lights, and I've already got, I mean, hey, my patience on when you're driving, you know, it it that's where that's where you really get tested. And so I'm like, man, I don't know why I'm coming this way. Is it not protecting me anywhere? And then ended up turning into a turnpot. It's like wide open. I'm like as soon as you gotta get through that. Right pressing my process and my direction, right? It looks like it's gonna be rough, but look what's on the other side.

SPEAKER_03 10:33

What's on the other side?

SPEAKER_01 10:34

And I ended up coming around everything, and yeah, I mean it before I know it, I was already in Texas line. I'm like, okay, I get you. I got the message. I understand now.

SPEAKER_02 10:43

Right. Yeah, it's that it's that process. Gets us every time for sure.

SPEAKER_00 10:48

Yeah. We're gonna hear a little bit about Lacey. You know, I've known you, but I don't really know. I don't know your story. I'd like to hear it. Okay. I know what you look like on the back of a black horse.

SPEAKER_04 11:01

Um I don't I mean, what are you wanting to know?

SPEAKER_00 11:03

Just tell us about you know where you come from and where you lived, what your life was like growing up, and tell us your story.

SPEAKER_04 11:11

Okay, truthfully, I didn't really grow up. Jeremy and I met when I was 15. Actually, I was 14. Uh by age 15, we were married and taking care of my little sister and my mom, my grandparents. Uh and that was pretty much the gist of my childhood. Before that, just was it was really bleak. Was with my little sister a lot. And my mom kind of lived her life doing her thing in bars in different places. So I don't us meeting was a little scary. It wasn't really it was love at first sight, but I was 14. Or are we kidding? I mean, I loved him, I knew I loved him. He was definitely I don't I mean, I don't want to say it like that, but I'm just gonna say it like that. He was kind of he was my safe place, my safe haven. He was my rescue. Rescue. He was the light that I needed. Yes, my rescue. Um he took me for what I was, took me for what was left of me in that moment and helped rebuild me from everything that had literally seen to sought out to destroy. I don't know, we had started having babies not long after. We have four beautiful babies, and that's here we are, we live our life, and I don't really know what where you want to know. I mean, I can break it down even deeper, but it's see that's her story on that part.

SPEAKER_00 12:28

Whatever you're comfortable with, I just know that y'all are deep.

SPEAKER_01 12:32

I just know that everything I prayed for in a woman prior to I'm I'm talking about detail, the eyes, the hair, the you know, everything. And when when I whenever I saw her on that horse, and it's like, you know, it's God just like da-da. We gotta hear this. You know, the glow. Right, and so I'm still so I prayed for this, and and this was probably back when I was you know, 16, 17, you know, you're trying to figure out what love.

SPEAKER_04 13:05

Like that was so long before you were 18. I know, right?

SPEAKER_01 13:08

So it's like right down the road. Anyway, so I I prayed, God is, you know, I don't want to I don't want a lady that you know chased, I was chasing, I was, I was not good. Uh definitely not the one you want to bring home to mama and meet the family. But anyway, but I did pray about this, you know, about a uh a girl, you know, that you know has blonde hair, beautiful and eyes and everything. And then whenever I see her on the back of the horse, it's like God shit said, Hey, this is what I made for you. And it was just it just this halo, and I was stuck, man. I was I was stuck, I was glued, and I was done after that. I'm like, I can't live without her.

SPEAKER_04 13:54

That's the one right there. So the funny part is our I had a best friend and we were in crossroads, and my stepdad, which was also a rescue, like my mom meeting him, took us out of a horrible, horrible situation. And her, my best friend and Jeremy's brother were dating. And that's kind of how the horse and all the things came into play. I was a little fearless back then, a little more fearful now. Yeah, I can barely look at my face. That's right. I have absolutely nothing for his brother. It was I really like didn't even think he was cute wholeheartedly. But she was like, What do you think? What do you think? And I was just like, Oh yeah, I was like, he's he's nice. I was like, Does he have a brother? Joking. Right. And then two days later, we were riding horses through the school parking lot going to the river bottoms. Because back then that was a normal thing, you know, you jump on the back of your horse bare back and you just ride to the river bottoms and do your thing, ride them through the mud and whatever. And we're riding, and him and his brother pull up in this stupid little single cab truck, and she's like, Oh yeah, there's his brother, and I was like, Oh god. But I mean, we did. We clicked instantly. He didn't ever have to meet my dad, but he met my stepdad. My stepdad liked him. My mom was infatuated. My mom said, You can you're a little old for her, but I'll make you a deal. If you can play this one song on this guitar and you can sing it for me, I'll agree to let you date my daughter.

SPEAKER_00 15:20

What? Okay.

SPEAKER_04 15:22

And he did, and he played that song, and there it was. I mean, she looked at me and was like, Well, I guess you're his, and then it just went from there. So we were married within the year.

SPEAKER_01 15:31

Because my mom was married to my m mom was married to her mom's cousin. And and they he used to go over all the time, you know, and and there was one of those times where we were with him and he went over there.

SPEAKER_04 15:48

See how bad this makes you sound. I know, right?

SPEAKER_01 15:50

I'm horrible. I you know, you don't think about these things, you know. You know, you when you come and encounter with with your destiny.

SPEAKER_04 15:58

Jeremy knew me as a little bitty girl.

SPEAKER_01 16:02

She had chili bowl haircut.

SPEAKER_04 16:04

So much there's your past incident, we're still present, honey.

SPEAKER_01 16:06

Yeah, chili bowl haircut, she's on the trampoline. And so I go over and she's like, you get off my trampoline, you ain't supposed to be on here. I remember all those things. But anyway, you know, but uh in it and and I still remember the place. I still remember the and it's right there in Corsica. I can pay and every time I pass it, she looks at it, she may look at it a different thing, but I look at it as like that's the first time I saw my beautiful wife.

unknown 16:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:30

I didn't realize that that that's who she was until later. Right. And so and then and and but he couldn't stand me then.

SPEAKER_04 16:38

Don't let him fight.

SPEAKER_01 16:40

She was mean. She was she's mean. But I think as God knew that I needed a fighter.

SPEAKER_03 16:45

Oh, absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 16:46

God knew I needed a fighter. Yes, that is probably one of the truest statements that I've heard you say.

SPEAKER_04 16:52

But it may not be fighter like maybe it is, I don't know. God knows.

SPEAKER_01 16:58

But that's the thing when you when you grow up in struggle, she's true grew up in struggle. And we basically kind of learned off of each other. Right. And then we and then you learn off of each other, then you begin leaning on each other, and we both we both, you know, were those fighters, and like when you learn how to and and and it wasn't till later in life that we actually learned how to fight with each other rather than against each other. Against each other, right. And for some.

SPEAKER_04 17:27

So we still fall short of that sometimes.

SPEAKER_01 17:29

We s we you know we all do. Right. But it it just it man, it it just makes makes closer you're stronger together. Right. And even though, you know, we go through you know trials and stuff. It does it. It's a lot of flight to get there. But yeah. It's a big story. When you put God in your story, it changes your whole story.

SPEAKER_02 17:54

That's right. That's right. That sure does.

SPEAKER_00 18:00

So what's God doing in your life now?

SPEAKER_04 18:03

We're not surviving, we're living.

SPEAKER_00 18:05

Are you? That's awesome.

SPEAKER_04 18:07

You still decide to get out of survival mode and live your life. And every now and then we still get to that point where I feel like I'm surviving. Me personally, I'm not gonna speak for both of us. But yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:20

I I really feel like I feel like we're on a conveyor belt. And God's and God's moving some things around and and there's like different stages where it stops and he's doing something else because he's got something that's that he's building us up to.

unknown 18:39

I don't know what it is.

SPEAKER_00 18:40

You know, I was talking to I didn't know it was gonna be something.

SPEAKER_01 18:43

Right.

SPEAKER_00 18:44

I was talking to a friend of mine about that the other day, and I was like, you know, if God keeps bringing you back to a certain spot over and over again, it's because you haven't dealt with something. Exactly. And he's trying to get you back there and say, okay, exactly. You're gonna have to deal with this. You know, so if it could be a consistent relationship problem that comes up, or communication problem that comes up, or cons consistent problem with money, or whatever the case is, he's he keeps bringing it by because he's like, son, daughter, you got this thing in you that you thorn, you got this thorn to not deal with, and you're gonna have to deal with it. You've got to get past it.

SPEAKER_02 19:29

Right.

SPEAKER_00 19:29

And did you talk to him before?

SPEAKER_04 19:31

What are you doing?

SPEAKER_00 19:33

No, are you sure?

SPEAKER_04 19:34

No, I'm just kidding.

SPEAKER_00 19:35

I got back, I knew that y'all went to dinner.

SPEAKER_04 19:38

No, I mean like in the parking lot. No. I didn't know. I'm just kidding. You're good. Go in.

SPEAKER_00 19:44

Yeah, but I want to hear more about I mean y'all too, I've both heard you say that. That, you know, you've moved past surviving. I don't, you know, could y'all just share a little bit. What does that mean? And you know, how do you get past that?

SPEAKER_02 20:00

Me and her. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:02

Oh both of you, because I've heard you say it, I've heard you say it, that you know, you lived in a life where you were just surviving and you you it was just a struggle to get through day-to-day. Right. You mentally shut down, I'm guessing. You know, just just I'm sure there's there's a lot of people that are feeling that same spot, and y'all are both are anointed to deal with it.

SPEAKER_03 20:26

So you you just get to a spot sometimes in life where you are just surviving. And I don't know why this keeps coming into my mind, but when Tony and I first got married, like I had been a single parent of three kids for 10, 11, 12 years before Tony and I got together. And every day was just surviving. And we would get the bills in, and he'd be like, Did you pay the electorate bill or where's the electric bill? And we've got this money and we got to rearrange this. And I'm like, they haven't sent us a pink slip yet, we're good. Right? And he, I mean, he is like stressing out. He's like, pink slip. I'm like, come on. I'm like, when you get the pink slip, that's when you know the absolute last day to pay the electric bill. And then back in the back way back in the day, when you would go to the grocery store, you knew you didn't have any money in the bank, but you would write a check, you'd get your groceries, you could write it for $50 over and get the cash, and then only pay the one-time $35 NSS fee. So you learned how to beat the system every time you survive, you know. You didn't know anything about the are you serious, Maya? You don't know about the big slipper or the insignificant funds. Like, what are you talking about?

SPEAKER_01 21:55

Those were the things you put on the refrigerator, wouldn't it?

SPEAKER_03 22:00

That's how me and my children, that's how we survived. You know, and it was you learn how to work the system and you learn how to maneuver things around to to survive. And you know, you could sit there and say, like, well, the enemy this and the enemy that. No, those are my decisions. And those were the consequences. That's the big part. Some of my decisions. Some things I I didn't ask for, but were dealt and learned how to deal with them. Some things I did bring on to myself. Some things were brought on because I felt like that's what I deserved, and that's all that I deserve. Yeah, that part. Yeah. And learning how to um conquer that is a huge thing. Or when Tony and I were together, if he would talk with his hands or something, I'm over here like bobbing and weeping. Or is he fixing to try to fight me? Because I mean, I'll bow up, I'm ready. You know what I mean? Like, and then it's just never was any of that. And I'm like, what is what is this? And I didn't know how to um I didn't know how to handle it, but I knew, but I knew that the person that I had become at that point in my life is not the person God had created me to be. I had become the person that life created, not the person that God created me to be. So when I allowed myself to say, okay, who is this person that you created? Because that's the person I want to be. Right. I don't want to be the person that that life that life created. And so that's how things kind of kind of shifted and kind of changed and kind of brought me out of survival mode. Because I I do I want to be that person because I can remember and I would I would pray about it and I would say, God, I remember when I was little. Like I I can be seven, eight years old, and I mean I would be at the altar and I would just be just pouring my heart out and just crying and just always so sensitive to things and sensitive to people, and I didn't want to hurt anybody's feelings. And I just was this sweet, sweet, purple, innocent person. And then fast forward a few years and let life get in the way. And now if you look at me, I'm about to punch you out. I don't care, I'll go to jail. My sister just asked me if she's yesterday, she's like, Well, how many times have you been to jail? My God. And I was I just was angry all the time and stuff, and feeling like God, this is not the person that you created. That's real. This is not what you created me to be. You do not create me to be this mean person. And I always took um like my tongue was like a sword, and I always took such pride in that. And I mean, my mama would always say, You can make a grown man cry with that mouth of yours. And I just thought that was my one true talent. I mean, I was good at it. Like, if you come at me, I'm going straight for the jugular. Like you have no, like, there is no coming back for me. I'm getting you off before you can ever come back with anything else. You know, I'm just gonna go ahead, you're gonna lick your wounds and walk away from me. And I took such pride in that. And it wasn't until just about a year or two ago that God really started dealing with me about you, you think that's you think that's a talent that I would have given you when life is in the the the power of your words is life and death, and you think that's what I would put in your mouth? Yeah. And I'm like, you're right. Hey, well I lied. I think I'm still in survival.

SPEAKER_04 25:46

I'm like, nope, I'm not there yet.

SPEAKER_00 25:47

I thought I was like, I'll tell you, I'll tell you, you you made a statement in that that I don't think you realized the weight of it. You said that that the words you said were like a sword. They are a sword. They are. You were using the wrong way.

SPEAKER_03 25:59

I was using it the wrong way. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 26:02

The word coming out is like a sword that pierces the between the joint and marrow. Yeah. And though that's the sword he really wants you to have because you're bold enough to say it. Both of you. You know, there's a lot of people that are not they're not courageous enough, they don't have the fire in their belly, they don't have the gumption to say the hard thing. Exactly. And I think that's what God's called both of you to do. Because you both have that courage. You both are strong. You got fight in you. And not sugarcoat. Yep, not sugar coat. But were you used to saying it in a way to hurt, he's gonna have you start saying in a way to heal right.

SPEAKER_04 26:47

Well, we know he's already started out with you because that's how you get through time.