The Real Cost of Overthinking

Overthinking isn’t just slowing you down. It’s (not so) quietly reshaping how you see yourself.

In this episode, I break down what’s actually happening when you get stuck in your head, why your brain defaults to overanalyzing, and the hidden cost most people miss: the impact on your identity, confidence, and self-trust.

If you’re tired of second-guessing yourself and ready to move with more clarity and conviction, this will show you how to start breaking the loop.

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Transcript

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Welcome to Out Smarting Your Brain. In this episode, we are talking about overthinking and what it really is costing you. Because there are aspects of this that just don't get talked about nearly enough. And so I want to dive into that today. And I want to start with what overthinking actually is all about. So here's how it usually plays out. You make a decision about wanting to do something, and there's something about that decision that freaks you out just a little bit, or maybe a lot. Maybe it pushes you past your growth edge. Maybe it makes you uncomfortable. And that discomfort triggers something in your brain that makes you want to research it to death, to analyze every possible outcome and to try to predict what's going to happen in every single scenario. You know, it's like you were trying to look into a crystal ball and say, if I do this, then this is going to happen. And if I tweak this, then that's going to happen. You know, you're trying to predict the future. And all of this is creating so much mental chatter that it just drowns out your wisdom, your intuition, you know, that part of you that actually knows what's right for you. Because that fear part of your brain, well, that part is super loud. That part of your brain is just gibber jabbering non-stop. And when that happens, it drowns out your wisdom and it creates anxiety. It creates stress and it amplifies fear. And fear, well, fear is just a big blinking neon-stop sign. And it makes you hesitate so you don't take action. And that can turn into procrastination. You know, I'll do it tomorrow, I'll do it next week, I'll get to it eventually. Or maybe it turns into outright avoidance and you just don't do it at all. Or if you can't avoid it, you know, if there's a hard deadline that it just has to get done by, and then you find yourself internally negotiating, or you're psyching yourself up or you're gritting your teeth and you're willpowering your way through it. Well, none of that is an ideal way to operate. It makes everything take longer, makes everything feel harder than it needs to be. And sometimes it, well, it just stops things from happening at all. And this is where I think that the conversation around overthinking is often incomplete. Because people talk about the external circumstances or the external consequences, right? The missed opportunities, the lost revenue, the delayed decisions, those projects that drag out so much longer than they need to. Well, yeah, all of that matters, but what most people don't talk about enough is the internal costs. Because all that other stuff is just external. But the internal costs are so important because every time you overthink instead of act, you reinforce something about who you believe you are. You reinforce the idea that you're not decisive, that you need more time, that you can't trust your judgment, or that you're not the kind of person who follows through. And that hit to your integrity, oh, that that erodes your self-trust. It erodes your confidence. And over time, it makes making decisions even harder. So maybe you missed that speaking opportunity. Maybe you delayed a business decision, or maybe you just waited too long to move on something and the window closed. That sucks. I'm not saying it doesn't suck. But what I am saying is that the bigger cost is around the story that you tell yourself afterward about what that means. You might think something like, well, they probably weren't going to pick me anyway, or I'm not ready yet, or I need more preparation. And all of those bullshit stories reinforce an identity that is rooted in hesitation, in doubt, and in playing small. And that right there, my friend, that is the deeper damage. Because over time, your brain is going to stop looking for possibility and start looking for evidence that there's just no point in trying in the first place. And oh my God, talk about wasted potential. This is why this is so important. And this is also why overthinking and the subsequent procrastination and avoidance is so much bigger than a productivity problem. I get that it looks like that on the surface, but that's not what's going on here. This is an identity problem. Because here's how here's how we humans operate. We all have an identity. And this is a sense of who we believe that we are. And based on that identity, we have beliefs. Now, beliefs are not facts, they're not objective truths, although they feel like it because we feel like they're true for us. But beliefs are really just decisions about how the world works. So we have an identity and that creates beliefs. Those beliefs create our feelings. And the feelings that we have influence the actions that we take. And those actions are what create our results. And whatever results we create loop back around, and they either reinforce or disrupt the identity at the beginning of the cycle. So it goes like this: identity creates beliefs, beliefs create feelings, feelings dictate our actions, our actions create results, and the results support the identity. And overthinking is one of the ways that we can reinforce fear-based beliefs around an identity. This can be beliefs like I need to be more certain before I can take action, or I'm not ready yet, I need more information. Or if I get it wrong, something bad's gonna happen. Or the flip side of that, which is I got to get it right. All of those beliefs are fear-based and they can keep you stuck because they keep you from taking the actions that you know are gonna move you closer to where you want to be. And at the core of all of this, at the core of that fear, it's got to do with your relationship with uncertainty. Because we not we know that the future's not written. Intellectually, we get that. Our brain really doesn't like it because our brain wants certainty. And so when we engage in an overthinking loop, what we're really trying to do is to soothe the discomfort of not knowing. That's why we run endless simulations in our head. You know, we imagine all the scenarios and we attempt to predict the various outcomes. But the thing is, is deep down, you still know that you can't actually predict the future. And so that discomfort never really goes away, no matter how much you think about it. And in fact, the more you think about it, the more you're giving it your attention. And the more attention you give to something, the more you amplify it. So the only way to know how something is gonna turn out is to, well, just to do the thing. That's it. To take the action. You take the action and you see what happens, and you get some data. And you'll either get the result that you wanted or you'll learn something. But neither of those things are gonna happen if you're just all up in your head overthinking and imagining stuff all day long. So why does this happen? This happens because our brain has one job. And I know I've said this before, and I will probably say it many times again, but the job of our brain is not to keep us happy or make us successful. All your brain's trying to do is keep you alive. It's one primary function is to keep the meat fresh, and that means keeping you the same because it knows that this current situation that you were in, you're alive. And it doesn't know if you're going to be alive in that new circumstance. Even though logically, we all know that that's anything that you're thinking about doing, most likely, unless it's dangerous, it's unlikely to kill you. But the brain doesn't operate like that. The brain is operating on a more primitive, simplified manner. And so anytime we move towards uncertainty, discomfort growth, things that are unfamiliar, right? Because all of our growth lives in the unfamiliar, the brain is just throwing out these fear signals. Because all it knows is that the unfamiliar gets interpreted as unsafe. That's the mechanism that's going on. That's the wiring that we have to outsmart. And just so you know, I do this too, right? Like I overthink too. I do this with these podcast episodes, but I don't let it completely stop me from showing up. Because that's the other thing about overthinking, right? Is it it loves to disguise itself as being thoughtful or responsible or prepared or having high standards. And while all those things are true, they're often used as a convenient and very subtle excuse to overthink. Because underneath all of that, it's still fear. It all comes back to fear, the big blinking neon stop sign. So, what can we do? All is not lost, I promise. Here's what we can do. The first thing is to recognize that overthinking is a habit. It's not a character trait, it's not just who you are, it is a learned pattern. And any learned pattern can be interrupted, changed, and replaced. Now, this really matters because if you believe that overthinking is part of your identity, if you believe that it's just part of who you are, then you will keep acting in that manner because we behave in a manner that is consistent with the identity we believe we have. So that's the first thing. You have to be willing to accept that this is just a habit and any habit can be reprogrammed. Now, once we've established that, the second thing is to develop self-awareness. Because if you aren't aware of the pattern in the first place, you can't do anything about it. So you have to notice that pattern when it's happening within you. And that means understanding and paying attention to what overthinking feels like in your body. Maybe that's tension or shallow breathing. Maybe you clench your jaw or your shoulders start creeping up around your ears, whatever it is, you have to start paying attention to it because you've likely been doing this for so long and so consistently that it just feels normal now. So cultivating that awareness is a crucial step. And then, third, you want to interrupt the loop with some action. If overthinking is making you freeze or hesitate, then the solution is movement. Not a big, dramatic over-the-top action, but something small. One small, doable step. Something that is so incredibly easy that you'd actually feel silly not doing it. And a lot of times the best thing you can do is to shorten that gap between the decision and the action. Decide and then move. Because the longer the gap is, the more time your brain has to start spinning up and talking you out of it. Action is what creates momentum. And momentum makes the next action easier. And then the next one's after that is easier too. And so instead of rehearsing fear, you are rehearsing action and you're generating evidence, real, actual results. And you get to see what actually happens instead of obsessing over what might happen. And then that evidence, it reinforces your new identity. The version of you who's decisive, the version of you who follows through, the version of you who trusts herself. That is how you break the loop of overthinking. You notice it, you interrupt it, and you choose to do something different. And so if this resonated, I want you to try it. Keep it simple and have some grace with yourself. You did not create this overthinking habit overnight. And so you're not going to undo it overnight. But if you stick with it, you'll become someone who trusts herself more, moves faster, and spends a hell of a lot less time stuck up in her own head. And one day you're going to look back and think, well, who was that person that kept second guessing everything and hesitating? So thank you so much for listening to this episode. If it resonated, please subscribe and stick around because we're just getting started around here. And if you do give this a try, if you try out the action steps, I would love to hear how things go. Send me a message and yeah, share your experiences. And always remember that you are just one decision away from breaking the overthinking loop.