Why Imposter Syndrome is a Good Thing

If you experience imposter syndrome, it doesn’t mean you’re a fraud. It means you care.

In this episode, I break down what imposter syndrome actually is, why it tends to show up in high achievers and people of integrity, and how to stop letting self-doubt run the show. We’ll talk about growth, attention, ego, and why the discomfort you feel when stepping into bigger rooms is often a sign that you’re expanding, not failing.

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Transcript

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Welcome to Outsmarting Your Brain. Today we are talking about imposter syndrome and why, if that is something that you experience, that it's actually a really good sign. Because if you're a high achiever or a high performer, chances are you've experienced this before. You know, that feeling that you're not really as good as people think you are, that one day they're gonna figure out that you don't actually know what you're doing and that somehow you're gonna get, quote, found out. Here's what I've noticed. This tends to show up more often in people who are doing a lot, you know, people who are growing, who are stretching themselves, making an impact and actually getting shit done. And more importantly, I've noticed that it tends to show up in people who have integrity, people who care, people who are conscientious, people who genuinely want to represent themselves honestly and authentically. This is why I think that it's actually a really good sign. Because if you think about what an imposter really is, an actual imposter is someone who is intentionally misrepresenting themselves. The grifters, the scammers, those people who overpromise and underdeliver because they're just trying to manipulate people. Those people typically are not too worried about accidentally overstating their expertise, but you are. And that means that you care about doing right by people. Now, to be clear, I'm not saying that if someone doesn't experience imposter syndrome, that they lack integrity, right? There are some people who are just genuinely confident and secure in themselves. But what I am saying is that someone who deeply cares about honesty, authenticity, and doing good work is more often likely to experience self-doubt around these things. So if this is something that you deal with, give yourself some grace. Okay, all that's nice in theory, right? But what can you actually do with it? First, I want to talk about what imposter syndrome really is. Because honestly, I think that part of the problem is in the name itself. Calling it a syndrome makes it sound like it's some kind of diagnosable condition. Like, if you have this, then there's something wrong with you. And there's not. It's not a disease, it's not a defect. It's just self-doubt. That's it. It is self-doubt with really good branding. And more specifically, it's the kind of doubt that you feel in reaction to growth. This is what happens when you start to stretch beyond your current identity. When you step outside your comfort zone, you do something bigger, and you move into a more expansive version of yourself. Your brain notices this expansion and it basically goes, uh, excuse me, what are we doing here? It's resistance. Here's an analogy. Think about a rubber band. If you stretch that rubber band, it resists. It wants to snap back into its original shape, right? But if you hold that stretch long enough, eventually the elasticity changes. It's all imposter syndrome is. It's your ego reacting to the stretching. It's your brain trying to pull you back towards what's familiar. And the important thing to understand here is that you can't always control the thoughts that pop into your head. But what you can control is what you do in response to them. You get to decide whether or not you buy into those thoughts. And just because that shitty little voice in the back of your head starts poking at all your insecurities does not mean that you have to obey it. You don't have to believe it. You don't have to buy into it, and you don't have to do what it's telling you to do. Because its job is just to keep you safe. It's trying to keep you the same, it's trying to stop you from growing. But remember that you are the one in charge, not your head trash. So if you don't want imposter syndrome to be running the show, there are a couple of things I want you to keep in mind. First, stop making it wrong. Seriously, you've probably heard that phrase, what you resist persists. Well, that's what this is all about. If you think that it's wrong to feel insecure, that it's wrong to doubt, wrong to feel fear, well, you start fighting it. You start fighting what you're feeling. And ironically, that is what makes the feeling stick around. Because our emotions want to move through us. And when you resist your emotions, when you suppress them, judge them, obsess over them, you're actually holding on to them. Like you've you've met people like this before, right? The people who are still pissed off about something that happened 10 years ago because they keep replaying it over and over in their head instead of just feeling what they're feeling and letting it move through them and moving on. It's the same thing here. If you just acknowledge, yep, I'm feeling some insecurity right now. Cool. Being human. Well, it passes. When you stop making it such a big hairy deal, you feel what you feel and it moves on. And that's a whole lot faster than when you try to make it wrong. So that's the first thing. Second thing is to pay attention to what you're paying attention to. How's that for a head scratcher? No, seriously. Notice where your attention is because that sensation of imposter syndrome almost always happens in relation to other people. You're about to give a presentation, you're talking to your dream client, or maybe you're walking into a room full of successful people, and all of a sudden your brain starts making you the center of the story. And it's a pretty shitty story if you're being honest with yourself, right? You think things like, what if I sound stupid? What if they realize I don't belong here? What if I'm not good enough to be in this room? But here's the thing. If your attention is fully focused on being of service, on connecting, listening, helping, being present, well, then there's no room for the doubt to get in the way. Because your focus isn't on yourself anymore. That's why your attention really matters. I'll give you an example. So when I first joined a mastermind group in my co-working space, I had an amazing experience while I was in the room. Great conversations, wonderful people, tons of value exchanged. And then we wrapped up. And the second I walked out the door, my brain started spiraling. What are you doing? You don't belong in there. Those people are real business owners. And meanwhile, I'm over here just as a one-woman show. And my brain found every little thing that it could to nitpick. Logical, illogical, didn't matter. Now, the old me would have talked herself out of ever going back. She'd have noped the hell out of there and avoided this. But current me, current me actually understands what's happening. I now know that the discomfort that I was feeling was really just my brain reacting to growth. That rubber band got stretched. And so, of course, there's tension. But that tension doesn't mean that I'm doing something wrong or that I don't belong there. And I share this with you because just because I teach this stuff doesn't mean that I don't ever experience it. I do all the time. The thing that you feel insecure about is just going to change as you grow. It never entirely goes away because that's part of the human journey. Insecurity, doubts, things like that, it's not a problem that you solve once and then ta-da, you're cured. That's not how it works. So it's about learning to understand and work with yourself instead of fighting against it. Okay, so what do you do with all this? Let's make this practical. First, notice where your attention is going when the self-doubt shows up. If all your attention and your focus is on yourself, your fears, your insecurities, your performance, then you are feeding that spiral. Redirect your attention outward. Focus on the people that you're helping, the audience you're serving, that person in front of you, and the value that you're bringing. And second, stop treating discomfort like evidence that something is wrong. Discomfort during growth is absolutely normal. It's even expected. And third, maybe stop calling it imposter syndrome altogether. Because words matter. And when we pathologize something, then we give it way more power than it deserves. And at the end of the day, this is just self-doubt. And self-doubt is a part of being human. So the next time this feeling shows up, instead of going, oh shit, here we go again, try this instead. Say to yourself, I care really deeply about doing a good job. This is me being in integrity. This is what it looks like when I step into something bigger. Because that change in perspective changes your entire experience. So if this resonated with you, be sure to follow so that you don't miss any future episodes. And if you know someone who is struggling with imposter syndrome, please share this episode with them. Because there's a good chance that there's another high achiever in your circle who needs to hear this message too. Thank you so much for listening today, and I'll see you next time.