From Betrayal to Reclamation: Finding Yourself Again with Lora Cheadle

What happens when betrayal turns your entire world upside down—and how do you find your way back to yourself?

Trigger Warning: This episode includes discussions of betrayal, infidelity, and experiences that may be triggering or emotionally difficult for some people, particularly those who have experienced childhood or adult trauma. 

In this episode of Metaphysical Hippie Chicks 2.0, we’re joined by Lora Cheadle, a licensed attorney, betrayal recovery coach, somatic attachment therapist, clinical hypnotherapist, international speaker, and creator of Life Choreography® and the FLAUNT!® Framework.

Lora brings a unique perspective to healing, combining law, emotional and somatic work, spirituality, and what she describes as the channeled wisdom of The Librarians. Drawing from her own experience with infidelity, she helps women move beyond simply recovering from betrayal toward reclaiming their confidence, self-worth, peace, and personal power.

We talk about what betrayal does to us emotionally and physically, why healing involves more than simply moving on, and what it means to rediscover who you are underneath the roles, expectations, and stories you've carried.

Lora also shares insights into Life Choreography®, her FLAUNT! philosophy, authenticity, spirituality, and the journey of becoming the person you were always meant to be.

If you've experienced betrayal—or you're simply interested in healing, personal transformation, spirituality, and discovering your authentic self—this is a conversation you won't want to miss.

The opinions, beliefs, and experiences expressed by our guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs, or views of the hosts or Metaphysical Hippie Chicks. 

Listen, subscribe, follow, and share Metaphysical Hippie Chicks 2.0 on your favorite podcast platform, and watch the full conversation on YouTube.

Transcript

SPEAKER_07 0:00

Welcome to Metaphysical Hippie Chicks 2.0. I'm Susanna Masteri, Psychic Medium and author of Living Beyond Death. My co-hosts are Psychic Medium Annalise Sebastiani and ET experiencer Terry Scalia. We focus on grounded, honest conversations about consciousness, mediumship, channeling, ET psychology, and modern spiritual culture. Thank you for joining us. Today we have a really fascinating guest joining us. Someone who brings together law, psychology, somatic healing, spirituality, and her own personal experience to help women reclaim their lives after betrayal. Our guest is Laura Cheadle. She's a licensed attorney in Colorado and California, a TEDx speaker, a betrayal recovery coach, somatic attachment therapist, clinical hypnotherapist, and an international speaker. She is the author of two books, Flaunt and It's Not Burnout, It's Betrayal. What really caught our attention about Laura is the unique way she brings all of those different worlds together. She combines the knowledge and precision of a lawyer with the compassion of a trauma-aware coach, the wisdom of somatic and spiritual practices, and what she describes as the channeled wisdom of the librarians, all while drawing from her own experience of surviving infidelity. Laura is also the creator of Life Choreography and hosts the podcast Flaunt, where she explores empowerment, authenticity, healing, spirituality, and what it means to let go of the roles we've been playing and truly embrace who we are. We're so happy to have you with us today, Laura. Welcome.

SPEAKER_02 1:49

Thank you. I can't wait for our conversation.

SPEAKER_07 1:51

I know, I know. We have a lot to talk about.

SPEAKER_02 1:54

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:56

Tell us about your own journey and what you've personally experienced with betrayal and infidelity and how that experience ultimately led you into the work that you're doing today.

SPEAKER_02 2:09

Yeah, absolutely. It was something I never saw coming. I mean, like so many people, infidelity is something that happens to other people. You know what I mean? It happens to people who don't have good marriages, it happens to people who aren't caring spouses, it happens to people who aren't connected and do things right. I was a corporate attorney. I was married for 23 years before I found out we had two kids. I thought we had a great relationship. Were there tough times? Of course, we're human, you know, it's life. But I was always a seeker. I always tried really hard. I read the marriage books, I did my yoga and meditation. I did it all. So I kind of had this sense that I'm protected because I'm awake, I'm I'm trying, nothing bad is gonna happen to me because I'm gonna see it coming. Well, did not see this coming at all. It was right before my youngest child's graduation from high school. I found out that my husband had been cheating, not only just cheating, but he had cheated for 15 years, so pretty much our kids' entire childhood with five different women. And I can't even begin to describe how shattering, destabilizing, how could anything be real at that point?

SPEAKER_07 3:36

That's brutal.

SPEAKER_02 3:37

Oh, yeah. It was, I mean, I mean, every memory you have for the last 15 years, suddenly, is that real?

SPEAKER_07 3:46

Yeah, everything's a lie.

SPEAKER_02 3:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 3:50

Yeah. It was awful. I I've been there myself, Laura, so I know what you're talking about. Yeah. It's it's yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:00

And I'm glad that you said that because people can say, oh, it's really, really bad, but when you're there, it's even worse than you think. Yeah. It's so not even how you imagined it. And then all those thoughts turn in on yourself. What did I do wrong? How can I be so ugly, dumb, bad, stupid, bad in bed, poor conversationalist? Why was I trying so hard? You know, why did I sacrifice all these things if this is what I'm gonna get in return? I mean, your thoughts get so dark and so negative and so spirally. And then it hit me on the spiritual level too. Are you kidding me? I've done everything right. Why am I bothering? You know, and with uh the channeling that I was doing. I mean, same thing. It'd be like, are you kidding me? How can I be connected? And how can I be doing channeling? And how can and you didn't tell me this? What is wrong with me? And in am I a fate? I mean, it's just it cuts you off at the knees in all of the ways.

SPEAKER_07 5:05

And trust me, I know exactly what it's like when you get into that space and everything, you internalize everything and turn everything on yourself, and what did I do wrong? Yeah, you did nothing wrong.

SPEAKER_03 5:20

Nothing. You did nothing.

SPEAKER_07 5:22

I recent yeah, I recently heard someone say a therapist told her client, you are not broken, you are not damaged, you were harmed. Wow. Yeah. And wow it's not you, you know.

SPEAKER_03 5:43

I recently I I heard a therapist too, at very subject, which is really interesting right now, that if you look at it like an addiction, when we see someone with an addiction, we think that's horrible, don't want to be around it, whatever, but that doesn't mean that person doesn't love me. It just means I can't be around them right now. But when we think of betrayal as an addiction, it's kind of the same thing. It doesn't mean they don't love you or that everything was a lie. It means that their trauma needed to be placated by something, they needed to self-medicate, and their self-medication was sex.

SPEAKER_02 6:18

Yeah. Yeah. And validation and you know, never feeling good enough. And I like to tell the people that I work with along those same lines that you haven't been broken, you've been broken open. And it's like a seed has to break open in order to grow.

SPEAKER_07 6:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:37

So what are you broken open for? And if you can lean into that, that's where that healing and that understanding and that peace finally comes.

SPEAKER_07 6:47

Did he have narcissistic tendencies?

SPEAKER_02 6:51

Um, yes, and we're gonna give a big spoiler right here. We actually ended up together again.

unknown 7:00

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 7:01

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 7:02

I've done that too.

unknown 7:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 7:04

Yeah, and there's no shame in that game. I mean, it's just absolutely if you work something through, then that absolutely can happen.

SPEAKER_02 7:11

Oh, absolutely. And yes, did he have narcissistic tendencies? Yes, he had severe emotional, physical, all kinds of abuse. Poverty was in foster care, like trauma, trauma, trauma. Severe trauma.

SPEAKER_04 7:24

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 7:25

And he and I met in law school when we met. You know, again, we know so much more now about trauma, but when we met in the you know, early 90s, it was like, yeah, I had a bad childhood, yeah, I did foster care, not a big deal. I'm over it and I'm successful now. Woo-hoo, yay, let's move on.

unknown 7:40

Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 7:41

Yeah. And you don't just go. No, you don't just move on. There's no processing. No. No, no, no. That that's bypass doesn't work.

SPEAKER_07 7:50

Every bit of energy, every experience that we've had in life, the energy of that is still within us and still within our body.

SPEAKER_02 7:59

Yes. Yes. And over the past eight years, he has been doing such deep spiritual work, working with, you know, a therapist, doing energy work, doing meditations, doing healings. We've done Peru and uh Mount Chaston. We've done all of these sacred pilgrimages sites. He's doing so much work to process that. And through it all, I mean, it's not like it's just, oh yeah, he did the work last week, and then this week everything's great. There's layers that come off and understanding, and part of that understanding, like what you were saying, Annalisa, with it's it's more like an addiction. He was he hurt, if if anybody hurt anybody, he hurt himself. He hurt, he was betraying himself, his integrity. And he had to do the repair, not only in our relationship for the integrity of us as a couple, but his big deep dark work is for him and himself and getting his soul back in alignment and being able to look at himself and more.

SPEAKER_03 9:08

Yeah, none of that had anything to do with you or the person being betrayed because it's all about them not feeling even good enough for you.

SPEAKER_02 9:15

Yes. Which was so ironic because he's completely ironic, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Because same thing he'd say, the more that you did, the more I would see I was not worthy.

SPEAKER_03 9:25

Exactly. Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 9:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 9:28

How fortunate he is to have you.

SPEAKER_05 9:32

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_03 9:33

Yes. To have this level of communication is kind of incredible. And not the average person's experience.

SPEAKER_02 9:40

No. No, it's not. And, you know, depending on what people believe, but it was such our soul plan. I was saying before the show, um, with talking with Susanna a little bit, had I found out about the infidelity at any other point in our marriage, it would have been an implosion. Absolutely. Yeah, destroyed each other. It would have been awful.

SPEAKER_03 10:06

Yeah. I probably I would have ghosted. I would have been like, never again, not talking, not seeing you. I don't care who you're related to, I don't care if you're my father, my kid's father. Yeah, I would have done that.

SPEAKER_05 10:16

Yeah. Well, I I really admire you. You're a strong person. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 10:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 10:21

Could you absolutely be able to be able to do that and reconcile them in the world?

SPEAKER_03 10:25

In the midst of your pain.

SPEAKER_05 10:26

Oh my gosh. I can't even imagine. I was done. When that happened to me, I was done. I couldn't deal with it. But I have a family member, I won't say who, but I have a family, a very close family member who went through that as well. And she took her husband back. And they are best friends. I mean, they have such a great relationship, and I really admire her for being able to do that. I yeah, so I I totally respect what your decision to do that. That is some people can't. Some people can't do it. No. But if you're able to do it and then get the help to try to fix the underlying reason, then there's a lot of admiration for you for that. That's yeah, that's amazing.

SPEAKER_03 11:09

And you're helping so many people now, yeah. You know, just by your own experience.

SPEAKER_02 11:15

And you know, it's definitely was it hard? Yes, it was the hardest thing I've ever done. But for me, it's also brought me such a level of growth and understanding and compassion. And I think sometimes we're supposed to do that work. And I think sometimes we're also supposed to say, and no, done. You know, what what whatever the decision is, it almost doesn't matter. What matters is what am I learning from this? Is my lesson the kind of boundary, never talk to me, never see me? Or is my lesson, how am I going to grow from this? How are we going to do it from this?

SPEAKER_05 11:55

That's exactly right. There's a learning opportunity there. Every, it doesn't matter what bad thing. And I've had some really bad things happen to me. And I take that as a learning experience. What is it about me, for one thing, attracted that thing, that bad thing to me, and what can I do for myself to prevent that from happening again?

SPEAKER_03 12:15

And when we say stuff like that, it's not that, okay, I'm gonna start forgiveness right now, or I'm gonna do yeah, you gotta process your own pain. You gotta process the anger. You gotta let yourself have the anger, let yourself have the feeling of betrayal, just don't like submerge into it for too long.

SPEAKER_02 12:32

Yeah. Yeah, I mean, absolutely. I screamed and writhed and sobbed on the floor and couldn't get up and vomited. And you know what I mean? For a long time. And then we got help, and then we did rage-releasing practices where he would hold my rage, and then he would, you know what I mean? It's it's like this is a long journey. We took time, we took money, we took resources, and we did the uncomfortable work. And along the way, we both kind of had the attitude let's see where this goes, because our goal was for each of us to be better people, more happier, healthier, healed people. And if we ended up together at the end of that, that was wonderful. And if we didn't end up together, that was fine too. We would be better. Yeah, the work was done. We'd be better for it. We'd be better divorced people.

SPEAKER_07 13:31

Would you be open to hearing what I picked up?

SPEAKER_02 13:36

Please, I would love that.

SPEAKER_07 13:38

About the two of you. Is the the lifetime that is being highlighted. Now I'm sure the two of you have had many lifetimes together, but the one that's being highlighted is Mesopotomia, where there was um he was a family member. I'm not quite sure what capacity that was in, but there was a lot of violence. And so in this life, what I'm picking up is the gem for you is compassion. And the gem for him was cruelty and how not to be cruel. So he had to exhibit cruelty and learn from you, from your compassion, a better way.

SPEAKER_02 14:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 14:30

That that's what I'm getting.

SPEAKER_02 14:33

And that resonates because I mean in a lot of things, but his whole life, he's been around extremely cruel people. And, you know, he talks about that in the things that he thought were normal. You know, he has one story where his mom beat his younger brother and whapped him, I think it was 47 or 48 times with a hot wheel trap.

SPEAKER_04 14:57

He was locked, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:00

He got locked in a garage filled with crickets where the crickets were all over him overnight. I mean, just things where it's like that's not that's not humane.

SPEAKER_03 15:10

No. It's it's amazing he didn't actually become like someone with with DID that he didn't split off.

SPEAKER_02 15:15

I know.

SPEAKER_03 15:16

In some way. Those are things that happen to people who've been diagnosed with DID.

SPEAKER_02 15:22

But in a way, the chronic cheating was a split. That was his created double life of getting all this validation and feeling important.

SPEAKER_05 15:38

That makes sense.

SPEAKER_07 15:39

Definitely. Wow. Wow. When I hear stories like that, it just is heartbreaking. It is.

SPEAKER_03 15:46

It is the the compassion that I have for that person, even though they've done something really, really kind of horrible. I mean, but you have to see where they came from. It gives you a whole different perspective about why they their survival technique was incorporated, something like this.

unknown 16:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:06

And I'm glad you said it that way because it is a survival technique. And when you can see it as a survival technique, it helps you understand. And same thing. I help me understand it's not about me, it's not about our family, it's not about love, it's a way that he uh survived.

SPEAKER_07 16:27

Wow. So in your reclamation in working with people and talking about healing, what's the difference between simply recovering from betrayal and actually reclaiming yourself?

SPEAKER_02 16:43

Yeah. When you just recover from betrayal or any kind of injury, it's just getting back to where you were before. And let's face it, where we were before is usually not the ultimate, oh, happiest, healthiest, most glorious place. So that's what I think is so powerful about betrayal or any kind of trauma. It's a catalyst to go deeper, to let go of all of those bad habits, to let go of all of those places where we've settled for less, to let go of all of that, and to finally say, you know what, my life is just kind of unfolded in front of me. And now I'm choosing to build it. Now I'm choosing to create and to be more fully myself than maybe I ever have. Because I know for me, over the years, having kids, life just beats you down. And I would put myself last and I would get tired and I would just settle for things. And when I had my betrayal experience, it was like, no, no, no. I'm going back to the fullness of Laura. And it's not that I'm just falling into this being asleep, living my life. I'm creating my life, and it's going to become everything that I've ever wanted it to be. Because this is my life and it's going to be fun.

SPEAKER_06 18:04

Right. We have to create a new identity.

SPEAKER_02 18:08

Yes.

SPEAKER_06 18:09

Essentially, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:10

Yeah. Yeah. And I go ahead. Sorry. No, no, no, no. Go, you go. I know I was just going to say it was interesting because for me, a time where I felt really, really truly myself was when I had first gone away to college. You know, it's like I was on my own. I didn't have an identity. People didn't know who I was. So I could finally fully be me. And I was able to tap back into that. Remember how that was, Laura, when you went away and nobody had expectations of you. How can you do that now?

SPEAKER_06 18:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 18:45

It's becoming complete.

SPEAKER_02 18:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 18:49

I often have that feeling when I travel. If I go somewhere that nobody knows me and I'm just the explorer in this new place, I feel fully myself where I become somehow.

SPEAKER_05 19:02

That's what happened to me when I moved here to Seattle. Yeah. I it's like I shed the past because I lived in Jacksonville for 35 years, and I was on my spiritual journey during that time for most of that time. And a lot of unpleasant, bad things happened to me in Jacksonville. So it's like everywhere I went, it was a reminder of, oh, this thing happened here. Oh, this thing happened there. Blah, blah, blah. And now that I'm in a place that I've never actually lived before, it's like I shed that shell and I'm a butterfly now. And I can be myself to whoever I meet. And when I go places, it's all brand new. It's all brand new memories. It's, and this is my opportunity to create all those brand new, wonderful, happy memories.

SPEAKER_02 19:47

Yeah. And so often do we recreate the past because it's familiar.

SPEAKER_00 19:52

Right.

SPEAKER_02 19:52

Just yeah, having that awareness that, uh-uh, this is a fresh slate. This is good. Yeah. Not, oh my God, I've been damaged and it's awful. Right. You can recreate what's good, but what uh what do you want that's new and different now?

SPEAKER_03 20:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:07

Because we're different people. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 20:09

Often the fear is completely unfounded too. I mean, you're afraid of new things or you're afraid of change or whatever, and it turns out it's the best thing that ever happened to you.

SPEAKER_05 20:17

Oh, absolutely.

SPEAKER_07 20:19

Terry's energy completely changed when she moved to Seattle.

SPEAKER_05 20:23

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 20:24

Wow.

SPEAKER_06 20:24

Totally changed.

SPEAKER_05 20:26

Honestly, I feel like a hundred pounds lighter.

SPEAKER_06 20:28

Wow.

SPEAKER_05 20:29

The energy here is different. The the energy in Jacksonville is very to me, it was very repressive and heavy. Here, there's so many more people that are open-minded to things that I'm into. So that really helps a lot as well.

SPEAKER_07 20:46

I was going to ask you what parental betrayal looks like, but I think your your husband kind of covered that.

SPEAKER_03 20:57

Yeah. Um experience.

SPEAKER_07 21:02

But what are some of the other parental betrayals that can happen to a child? Just like being ignored or neglected, or yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:13

The parents being not being seen for your full self. You know, I think there are so many parents that assign identities to their kids. Well, you're the smart one, you're the funny one, you know, you're the one that has it all together. You're the one, and the child is constantly being told what to do, even if it's positive. You know, you're the good daughter. You're the one that I count on so much. That can sound like I'm being positive, but whoa, that's betraying who the child is. And then the child doesn't know who they are. Who am I? Because I keep being told I'm the perfect one, but I don't feel perfect. I can't, I can't let people know that I'm sad.

SPEAKER_06 21:51

Yeah. Yeah.

unknown 21:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 21:53

And then and then on the other hand, you've got um the child who was told you're stupid, you're ugly. You're worthless, you'll never be anything. You're get out of my face. That's what that's what I live through. Yeah, that's what I live through. And and that just that can ruin a person's life forever. Yeah. If they don't do something about it. It did for me, it ruined my life for a lot of years. But I had to do the work.

SPEAKER_07 22:20

I think one of the mistakes that so many parents make if a parent leaves the family is not talking to the children and they just disappear. God, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:33

That's a tough one. Because then what what of course the child is gonna think, what did I do wrong? Why did I scare them off? I bet it's me.

SPEAKER_03 22:43

No. I was too loud. I didn't eat my vegetables. Uh you know. Whatever. My kid is gonna internalize all of that.

SPEAKER_07 22:51

I wore pigtails and daddy didn't like my pigtails.

unknown 22:55

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:57

And then think about some of that parental language too, like, don't make daddy mad. You know, we again things that are just said without thinking about it because we were told by our parents and they were told by their parents. But what does a child think when you're like, don't make daddy mad? The child then thinks, I have the power to make daddy mad or to make daddy happy. So anytime he's mad, it must be because of me. It's not fair. And it's not true. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 23:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:27

He's responsible for his emotions. We can't make anybody feel anything.

SPEAKER_03 23:33

Right. Right. And that is definitely not taught.

SPEAKER_02 23:36

No.

SPEAKER_03 23:37

At any age, you you kind of figure that out or you go to therapy. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:43

I mean, even now, you know, in marriages and with some of the people and couples that I work with, it's like, well, she made me and he no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Unless somebody has a gun to your head and they're telling you you will do this, that's the one. That's not happening.

SPEAKER_01 23:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 23:58

Yeah. Yeah, I agree with that. I didn't make you do anything. You did it. You did, you know, you chose the whatever reactions or choices.

SPEAKER_06 24:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 24:09

Yeah. So that's the thing. We we all have to take responsibility for ourselves and our actions. Yeah, 100%. Absolutely. It's not.

SPEAKER_07 24:20

All right. You created life choreography. I love that name because it suggests that we can become active participants in creating the next chapter of our lives. What exactly is life choreography and how does it help someone move from surviving a painful experience to creating a life that feels truly their own?

SPEAKER_02 24:42

Yeah. Oh, okay. Think about we've seen plays, we've seen dance routines, we've seen those things, right? Going back to Shakespeare, all the world's a stage, and we're just players playing our part. Here I am in my own little life. I have the set, I have supporting actors, I've got lights, I've got cameras, I've got like music, I've got all the things. I've got my life plan. Somewhere along the line, an actor walks off stage, the orchestra stops, the lights go out, I trip on my costume, things happen. How do we improvise, but not only improvise, how do we still make it good? How do we keep moving forward? Because it's all the things. It's not just once I get a good job, then my life will be happy. Once I find love, then my life will be happy. Once I lose these last 10 pounds, then things are gonna be happy. There's all of these moving parts. And when life choreography is about me in the center, this is my life, this is my performance. How do I control the props? How do I control the set? How do I make choices that will still make this good? Because too often it's this happened to me and that happened to me, and they did this to me. You're in charge. This is your performance.

SPEAKER_06 26:03

That's right.

SPEAKER_05 26:04

So is this like a seminar or a or a teaching? I mean, how does this work? Program. Is this something you sign up for?

SPEAKER_02 26:12

Or Yes. Yes. It's I work with people either in the six-month chunk or just one-on-one sessions for people who are like, I can't really commit to six months. And that's what we take them through. What is it that you want? Who are you? What are the labels and roles and scripts that you are ready to shed? Do you need to learn how to re-regulate yourself? Do you need to go get some trauma therapy? How do you reorient to putting yourself at the center of your own life? Because most people do not have themselves at the center. And that's a fundamental problem. How do I reconnect to myself? And then how do I re-choreograph? How do I so many people you say, what do you want? And they're like, I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 26:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 26:53

Well, let's figure out what you want. Let's do that. And then pivot along the way wherever you need to. It's a process. And that's why I said I like working with people in six months because over six months, it gives you a time to tank. It gives you a time to have all your internal stuff come up. It gives you time to be, yay, totally enthusiastic. It's enough time that we're living life and we're moving through it, and we're not just whoop-dee-doo inspired because they went to a weekend seminar and I lived on a high for a week and then I went back and nothing changed.

SPEAKER_07 27:29

Yeah. Don't you have like a free consultation or something you do for free for people? I think I saw that on your website.

SPEAKER_02 27:39

Yeah, I've got a couple of different things. I've got a free betrayal recovery guide. And if you want it, just go to betrayal recoveryguide.com. And I've got some of the somatic practices. I've got a message from the librarians. I've just got like a five-day, one thing a day to start getting you thinking and walking and leaning in the right direction. And then from there, you reach out to me, we set an appointment together, we talk, and we just figure out what are you ready for? What are you not ready for? But you're interested in maybe sometimes being willing in the future to be there. And we just guide from there because it's being responsive in the moment. It's not forcing anybody to do something they're not ready for. We have to be ready, and it takes time to be ready.

SPEAKER_07 28:23

One of the things I wanted to get into was your somatic exercises and things like that. Is there something that you can briefly give people who are listening that might have anxiety or have racing thoughts? Is there a breathing exercise or something touching your body, you know, in your chest, uh solar plexus area, or something that can calm the nervous system down? Do you have anything briefly that you might be able to do?

SPEAKER_02 28:53

Yeah, I have two very simple things. The first one is placing your hand on your heart, putting your other hand on it, and moving the skin in a gentle, slow circle. See how you can move that skin and focusing on that and just moving your attention towards that little spiral, that little circle. And that's a heart hug. And if you feel like reversing it, you'll know if you want to reverse it. And if you're like, no, it feels good this direction. But usually when I reverse it, I just feel that energy be like, ooh, feel that? That feels nice. Yeah. Very soothing, connects us right back into that heart energy, and it calms us down. So that is the first thing. If you're scattered, this can bring you right back in. The second thing I was gonna say, sometimes we're so scattered that being calm like this does not work. And that's just taking your hands and just flapping them, shaking them hard and fast because you start building the energy in your wrists, your forearms. Pretty soon your neck gets tight, your shoulders get tight, if you're standing, your core gets tight. And then you can just drop it, shake it out. And sometimes that is what you need to complete the stress response and to bring yourself back into a state of calm.

SPEAKER_05 30:21

I could almost feel myself, not right this second when I was doing that, but I could almost feel how doing this and tensing up your whole body and shaking your whole body can lead to like a uh a release, a breakdown, like a breakdown, you know, like that. Yeah.

unknown 30:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 30:36

But even just doing that, I felt a distraction, a pulling out of where I was.

SPEAKER_05 30:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 30:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 30:43

I could feel everything in my solar plexus kind of relaxing. The energy moved from my chest down into my solar plexus and just like.

SPEAKER_02 30:56

You're welcome. You're welcome. It's and try try one, and if it doesn't work, try the other because it does depend on what is going on with your nervous system, what you need. But that's an activator and a relaxer. So one of them will work.

SPEAKER_07 31:11

When I was doing doula work for the dying, and I would sit vigil with people, uh, mostly elderly people who didn't have family and in nursing homes. The greatest gift that, and I don't even want to say a gift, because it's not like we're gifting something to this person, but what we're doing is we're holding space for that person in their last moments on this earth. And the the way I think about it because of my doula training, is that if we can hold space for ourselves and have the compassion for ourselves, like the compassion it takes to sit with someone who's dying, because actually there is a part of you, aspects of you, when you go through betrayal and and other trauma, there are parts of you that are dying, right?

SPEAKER_00 32:05

Yeah, absolutely. So your identity, your future. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 32:10

So if we can hold space for ourselves and have compassion for ourselves, and I don't think a lot of people they think maybe they don't deserve that.

SPEAKER_02 32:22

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_04 32:23

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 32:25

So well said, yes. Or I don't deserve it as a big part of it. And I also noticed in myself and in others too, almost this pride that I can do without it. I I I don't need to have needs, I can suffer through myself.

SPEAKER_03 32:44

Well, we've been praised for that. Yeah. Oh, you're not the child that I worried about. So we're just gonna be on the burner there. I have to focus on this child for this reason, but you're you're great. I love you so much because you're just over there.

SPEAKER_07 32:59

Yeah. Oh my gosh, that's so true.

SPEAKER_05 33:03

Yeah, it is true.

SPEAKER_07 33:04

Wow. All right, so your work brings together law, emotional healing, somatic therapy, hypnotherapy. I I love that part, hypnotherapy, and spirituality. Why do you believe that healing needs to address all of those levels? And can you tell us about the librarians?

SPEAKER_02 33:27

Ooh, I'd love to. Oh, I know about the librarians. Yeah, healing needs to address all those levels because we're multifaceted beings. And, you know, like I said earlier, sometimes we think, well, if I just lose 10 pounds, everything will be fine. No, if you lose 10 pounds, your body might be healthier or thinner, but your mind and your spirit, it's you have to do everything on every single level. You can't just pray it away and you can't just work it out away, and you can't just therapise it away. You need to do everything. Now, the librarians are a group of guides that I channel. What they tell me they do is they sit kind of outside the Akashic realm. They look that so the Akashic Records, for people who don't know, is basically the record of our soul, our lives, our lessons, all the things that we as individuals has have done. So when there's like an Akashic record reading, you're going in and you're reading your own records. The librarians on the outside of that, they extrapolate the themes and the lessons. And then they keep the record of where humanity as a collective is going. So if you look at, say, the records, there's betrayal is definitely a lesson. Povert consciousness is a lesson, or mentality is a lesson. Like, think about all of these lessons that humanity moves through. So they are pulling all of the individual stuff that we've learned and they're recording it collectively. This human collective consciousness right now has moved through to this level. And what I think is really fascinating about them is they say when we do the work, yes, we do the work for our own soul, for our own growth, but we're also doing it on behalf of humanity because everything that I've learned from my betrayal experience is now elevating collective consciousness. Everything you've learned, you know, whatever it is, is also elevating collective consciousness. And it's really helpful sometimes just to get out of yourself. It's not just about me, it's about how am I leading and contributing to collective consciousness. And boy, does that feel good sometimes because it's not just me and my little story in my little household. It's I'm bigger than that. We are all one, and I'm a part of something, and I'm gonna do my part, not gonna let everybody else down.

SPEAKER_07 36:07

Briefly, an experience that I had one day, and it only lasted maybe 30 seconds or so, was that all of a sudden I was I don't even know if I was out of body or not, but I was experiencing, I guess you would call it my true self, not even my higher self, but the person that I am that I will be connecting with when I die.

SPEAKER_04 36:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 36:34

And in that experience, I was experiencing the experience is basically what I was doing, is that in that, every life, whether it was in this reality, another reality, in between lifetimes, every experience that I had, every thought that I had ever had, every emotion I had ever had, was in that. And within that, there was no judgment. It was experience that created who I am, and that is true for everyone. We are so much bigger, so much more than what we think we are. Are you open to channeling today?

SPEAKER_02 37:23

Sure.

SPEAKER_07 37:24

That would be awesome. That would be fantastic.

SPEAKER_02 37:27

Yeah. Is there something that you want answered or insight on that I can ask them about?

SPEAKER_03 37:35

Ladies, what thinking? Um trying to keep it universal, less than perfect.

SPEAKER_05 37:40

How do we stay positive in a world that's in such chaos? Oh, that's a good one.

SPEAKER_02 37:46

Okay, let me check. Thank you for posing the question about positivity. What we want to connect into is the idea of positivity is a very human idea. From where we sit, it is not positive, it is not negative, one is not good, one is not bad. They are unique human experiences. We think your question may be more focused on how do we keep learning, how do we keep growing, how do we keep expanding? And what you might not realize is sometimes the dark experiences are the experiences that cause you to grow more. So it is not about focusing on the positive, it is not about focusing on the negative, it's about focusing on your expansion. And if holding the dark in somebody else's reality helps that person to grow, you have also grown as well. We also think that your question is leaning towards joy and happiness, and how do you feel good in your conscious reality? And that is a very different question. What we will say around that is are you not happy even when you are experiencing things that sometimes are dark? And we challenge you to think about that because sometimes the experience of feeling is the experience that brings the most joy. No, we are not saying that you feel happy when you are in your darkest space, that you are feeling more fully than you have ever felt sometimes when you were in your darkest space. You are letting yourself expand and grow and connect and feel. And even in that pain, you are having a very human experience of feeling. Thank you. And they're out.

unknown 39:23

Thank you.

SPEAKER_07 39:24

Wow. That is cool. Thank you very much.

SPEAKER_05 39:27

It was the second part that I was asking about. The how do you say how do you stay in joy and happiness when when you're living in a crazy world?

SPEAKER_02 39:36

And it is a crazy world. It's a crazy world.

SPEAKER_07 39:41

I was thinking the other day, oh yesterday actually, that in my lifetime, and I was born in 51, so I've been privy to a lot of changes in this world. And like someone else had mentioned, that at every juncture when crises happened worldwide or within the United States, we thought that was it. You know, that things were going to crumble, things were going to uh shatter and be destroyed. And we've always gotten through it. Yeah. Always.

SPEAKER_05 40:14

And we always will get through it.

SPEAKER_07 40:16

Yeah. Yeah. My experiences, because I remember when the Bay of Pigs happened, and I was brought up in Miami. So my mom and my brother and I were living in Miami, and it was Cuba's very close. And my mother, I remember my mother being so frightened. Being a kid, it was like, huh. Right. What can he do? I don't know what that is, you know. I don't know what missiles are, and I I don't know, you know, anything. So it didn't affect me. And even while having a career and things went wrong, and we had fluctuations in the stock market and uh, you know, a big crash in 2008, I never let it bothered me. But this energy that's happening right now seems very different.

SPEAKER_02 41:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 41:09

It is very, very different.

SPEAKER_03 41:12

That's remarkable that you say that because I was thinking that too. When I was in middle school to high school, it was all about nuclear weapons were about just on the verge of being shot over to us. And we were gonna be annihilated. And if you weren't annihilated, you're gonna suffer through this horrible burning or you know, radiation. It was just you had movies like testament and and things that just seemed like it was just gonna be devastating. Dying would have been much better.

SPEAKER_07 41:39

Yeah, yeah. We had the exercises of uh drills of hiding under our desks because of a nuclear attack. Yep. Yeah, what's gonna do hiding under a desk your ass goodbye, basically, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 41:56

It was gonna do nothing. That's what it was gonna do.

SPEAKER_07 41:58

You know, and now kids have drills on um shooters active. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know if we can say that, but yeah. Oh, I'm sorry. That's all right. Pew pews.

SPEAKER_04 42:10

Pew pewes.

SPEAKER_07 42:14

Yeah, it was it was crazy. It was a crazy time. We had we also had movies. It was end of elementary school. It wasn't in junior high. We called it junior high, now they call it middle school. Where we had movies on recognizing communism. And if you knew anybody that was a communist to turn them into the FBI. I remember that. That's wild. And then we had movies. I mean, this was such indoctrination.

SPEAKER_03 42:44

Such PS there are PSAs on that, like you know, by famous people saying, Hey kids, you know. You know, and Reefer Madness.

SPEAKER_07 42:53

Oh my god. They did all of that in in the school. Plus in Driver's Ed, show us graphs.

SPEAKER_03 43:02

Asphalt, blood on the asphalt. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_07 43:05

Uh we saw bodies and everything, you know, probably actors, but totally remember that.

unknown 43:10

No.

SPEAKER_07 43:12

So we've all, you know, we've gone through this stuff. It's the same fear in a different form.

SPEAKER_03 43:20

But you're right, it feels different now, though. It does feel different.

SPEAKER_07 43:22

It does. It does. It feels very, very different.

SPEAKER_03 43:25

And I don't know why. Is it just some older?

SPEAKER_02 43:29

Yeah, something that the librarian shared with me about that at one point, because people have asked that, I've asked that, is we are so much closer towards collective consciousness and oneness now than we ever have been. And before we would have these little pockets of fear and these little pockets of the whole world was in different places. We weren't as connected. So now the whole world is connected and it becomes a collective fear instead of just in the US. Because, you know, and say, Thing like my high school was in the 80s, and it was all oh my gosh, the USSR, and you know, all yeah. Yeah, it's all these, it's the same, but it's different, but now it's more global, so we have more souls experiencing the same thing, and it's still still more visible.

SPEAKER_03 44:19

I didn't think of that.

SPEAKER_05 44:20

That's true, it's amazing, which makes it way more intense.

SPEAKER_03 44:24

Yeah, yeah, it's in our face.

SPEAKER_05 44:25

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 44:27

But there's still a narrative that's being produced. It's not necessarily truth, it's somebody's idea of what we should collectively think or idealize.

SPEAKER_02 44:37

And what they've also told me is it's going to, you know, it feels like it's ramping up and things that are happening. You're like, you're kidding. It started with this and now it's this, and oh my God. It is going to keep getting that way because it needs to push us to the point where we start looking out, stop looking outside of ourselves, and we start looking inside of ourselves to find that truth.

SPEAKER_06 44:57

Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 44:58

So it does have to get like it's a circus right now. Yeah, it needs to be way more of a circus where we all say, I'm out.

SPEAKER_07 45:05

Yeah, had enough.

SPEAKER_02 45:07

Jump off the carousel.

SPEAKER_03 45:09

Yes.

SPEAKER_07 45:11

Exactly. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Is there anything that we have not touched on about the work that you do?

SPEAKER_02 45:20

What about the flaunt?

SPEAKER_07 45:22

Yes, yes. Tell us about flaunt.

SPEAKER_02 45:25

Flaunt is so fun. Okay, that work is born from, you know, when you have something bad happen, you collapse, you crumple, you fold in, you internalize. And flaunt is the opposite energy. It's, you know, like we were saying earlier, yeah, I got harmed. I can still be fully myself. What I do with flaunt, and it's a combat combination of somatic practices, is I have people physically take off all of the things that they want to take off. If you've ever seen burlesque, it is not about, not the movie, just the concept, burlesque dancing. Yeah. It's not about actualizing people, it's about layers, it's about seeing what's real underneath. Burlesque performers are all sizes, shapes. One of my favorites, burlesque performers, has had a double mastectomy. It's not about perfection. Yeah, it's about revealing what's there. And for us, it's the persona, it's the shadow, it's the self. And it's how do I strip down and reveal my shadow? How do I show you, ha ha ha, this is a mask, this is a push-up bra. I don't really look like this, but look at how great it looks with the push-up bra. It's making fun of that and being okay with that and being real about it. And my flaunt process is that very somatic process of what am I taking off? What am I putting on? And I'm aware of what I'm concealing and revealing. And I'm letting you know that I'm aware of what I'm concealing and what I'm revealing. So now I'm just in my authentic nature. Here's my shadow, here's myself, here's the masks. And that's where our power lies is not trying to pretend that we're somebody else that we're not. Yeah. That's great. I love it.

SPEAKER_07 47:15

Where you are, do you just work one-on-one, or do you have a place where you can gather some people together to do to teach the somatic exercises and things like that?

SPEAKER_02 47:29

I do both. And quite honestly, since COVID, a lot of the in-person stuff has just kind of gone away. And I've not gotten back into a real routine of doing that. But oh my gosh, I want to. So I'm I'm glad that you mentioned that because once again, I'm like, oh, I want to get back into that. Because there's nothing like being in the room with people and playing, yeah, experiencing.

SPEAKER_07 47:52

How do you think that dance helps people?

SPEAKER_02 47:57

Oh my gosh. All first of all, all humans throughout all cultures dance. It's one of the things that unites us and makes us unique. Ceremonial dancing, grief dancing, uh, rain dancing. It's just that connection with our body, with the heartbeat of Mother Earth. It syncs us with other people. When we're like at a stadium at a concert and you're dancing with people, it's like this sense of euphoria. And it's one of those places where we can be really real when we're really just letting ourselves go and dancing. And I really think even if you just turn on a song every morning while you're getting ready, we should dance every day.

SPEAKER_00 48:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 48:36

Mm-hmm. Combination with music frequency, anything like that. The the idea that your heart is the first instrument that ever was because of the heartbeat.

SPEAKER_02 48:45

Yeah. And then you're in utero, you're hearing your mom's heartbeat. It's it's a symphony.

SPEAKER_07 48:50

I never thought about that, Annalisa. That's so cool. Yeah. I didn't think of that.

SPEAKER_03 48:56

I stole that.

SPEAKER_07 48:58

That's all right. Wow. I've never done somatic exercises. So this is intriguing to me. I really want to.

SPEAKER_02 49:08

I would love to. Let's get together and play.

SPEAKER_07 49:11

Okay. That'd be fun. Yeah. Okay. That would be fun. Oh, part two. Because I uh both Tom and I teach people, Tom being my husband, to listen to your body, to be emotionally aware, to be in command of your motion emotions, not controlling them, but be in command of them and listen to your body because your body is speaking to you before your mind. So is that pretty closely connected to the somatic?

SPEAKER_02 49:40

Yes, very, very closely connected. And it's letting it flow. And one of the things that I do is just a sacred dance where I just put on some kind of frequency music with people. And yeah, I've been doing this on Zoom. And it's how is your body wanting to move? And sometimes people you want to roll on the ground, and sometimes you want to ah, and it's just setting you free and giving you permission to move into what your body wants to do. And truly, eight times out of ten, somebody is sobbing or laughing because it's the release that they needed, but they've just haven't allowed themselves to get there. Because even when you say, turn on some music and dance, people get self-conscious. Here I am, step clap, step clap, step clap.

SPEAKER_04 50:27

You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 50:28

And when you have somebody who's just in the room or in the Zoom room with you and you're flowing and you're somersaulting and you're rolling, whoa, it's powerful.

SPEAKER_03 50:39

I had that experience in a tantric weekend. And when I say tantric, I don't mean it was an orgy or you know, weekend of sex. I mean it was literally the practice of Tantra, and dance was a part of that, and and exactly that happened. Like people were doing all sorts of movements that you weren't expecting, they were just being encouraged to do what they wanted to do, and a lot of it ended up in purging and prying and in in the best way. It was amazing.

SPEAKER_02 51:05

Yeah, it is amazing because it's just the flow of energy. Yeah. And we get so constricted with how we should be.

SPEAKER_07 51:12

That's what I like about massage. I've seen a lot of people, after getting a massage, have that emotional release.

SPEAKER_03 51:20

Yes.

SPEAKER_07 51:21

That is so healing in itself. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 51:25

I often say, look at toddlers, like a toddler having a tantrum. That is free-flowing energy. And that is so beautiful. And if we got down on the floor and rolled and kicked and screamed, we would be better for it. It's just like so much better.

SPEAKER_05 51:42

I've done that. I've done that.

SPEAKER_03 51:43

Why do we stop ourselves from crying when that's the exact thing that clears a lot of energy? Yes. When it really does make us feel better afterwards. But we're constantly trying to stop ourselves from that emotion. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 51:56

Yeah.

unknown 51:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 51:57

Men typically are like that, but uh women are, you know, obviously we're more emotional. But yeah, there's still a lot of people out there, and I was one of them for a long time that I'm not gonna cry, I'm not gonna cry, you're not gonna make me cry, you're not gonna make me cry. But I've always but I cry. I I cry, I don't cry a lot these days, but I used to. And just the release and the feeling of being of feeling that release afterwards, it's just so healing. Yeah, so healing and so important.

SPEAKER_02 52:26

Yeah, and same thing with making noise. And women don't make ugly noises.

SPEAKER_03 52:30

Oh my god, that's so true.

SPEAKER_02 52:32

You know what I mean? And that's one of the things, same thing when I do in the somatic, it's like, what are the noises? You know, and people are like, oh, that sounds ugly. Yeah, and do you know how it feels? Like, get in there, ha, make, don't hold yourself back, and I won't scream into the mic anymore. But you know what I mean? It's like these are your death cries, let them out. It should be ugly, it should be guttural. That's reconnecting you to your primal self, and it's that's your power. Take it, take that power back.

SPEAKER_03 53:02

Oh, you just made me realize something. I've gone back into singing with a teacher, and a lot of the warmups that you do, a lot of the practice that you do are really ugly sounds, and you have to be okay with uncoordinatedness and singing wrong before you can sing right, and it's getting back into that kind of feeling of like just screw it, just just do it and make it happen. And it is so freeing. It's not pretty, but it is so freeing.

SPEAKER_02 53:29

Right. And we're just so conditioned to being pretty and sounding pretty, and it's like, oh no, be who you are.

SPEAKER_03 53:36

Yeah, yeah, where you're at, right there.

SPEAKER_02 53:39

I love that you said that about singing. That's perfect. I want to hear an example. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 53:45

Come on, Annalisa.

SPEAKER_05 53:47

Come on, of the bad stuff. Yes, the ugly stuff. Oh, come on.

SPEAKER_03 53:51

The ugly stuff. We have okay, we have a new uh warm-up that my teacher gave me. Like, sorry, I don't want to wake up the neighbors, but that's the kind of stuff I have to do to get it a placement that is gonna sound amazing, I they promise me. Yeah, it doesn't sound that way now.

SPEAKER_05 54:19

And you just inside the whole world. That's awesome. Don't you dare edit that out.

SPEAKER_07 54:26

Oh, oh no. All right, so it everything that you have talked about today, which has just been amazing, is there any anything that you can tell someone who's listening who has experienced betrayal and feels like their life has been completely shattered? What would you want them to know about who they can become on the other side of it?

SPEAKER_02 54:48

Oh, I just to wrap it up. Yeah, I there is so much good. It is the catalyst. Like I said, it's not about being broken, it's about being broken open. And you get to choose how you grow, and you get to choose which direction you go in. And truly, if you want to remain bitter your whole life, that's your choice too. But this is your opportunity, and very few people are given such a fresh start opportunity. What are you going to create? Who are you going to be? What did you what are you afraid you messed up along the way? This is such an amazing opportunity to come back home to yourself and to experience newer, higher levels of joy.

SPEAKER_07 55:31

That's awesome. We are so honored to have had you here today.

SPEAKER_02 55:35

So grateful.

SPEAKER_07 55:36

You're such a beautiful woman, inside and out.

SPEAKER_02 55:39

Yes. Thank you. So much so mad.

SPEAKER_07 55:42

So much that you're doing for people. It's such a service. It's pretty special. Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_02 55:50

You're welcome. Thank you. Part two. How can people get a hold of her? You. A couple of different places. If you want to get the betrayal recovery guide, go to betrayal recoveryguide.com. That's easy. Um, my website is Laura Cheadle, but the way I spell Laura is L-O-R-A, which is a little different. And then Cheetle is C-H-E-A-D-L-E.com. So Laura Cheadle.com or Betrayal Recovery Guide dot com.

SPEAKER_07 56:17

I listened to part of your TEDx talk.

SPEAKER_02 56:20

Thank you. Yeah, that was great. Thank you. Thank you. Good. The audio on that got so screwed up, which made me really sad.

SPEAKER_07 56:26

But it happens.

SPEAKER_02 56:29

It does. Technical difficulties.

SPEAKER_07 56:31

I'm sorry. It's a technical difficulties. Yeah. Yeah. And it doesn't take away from the message at all.

SPEAKER_02 56:36

Good. I'm glad. Thank you. Yeah. And I'm serious. If you want to get together and do a Zoom cinematic thing. That would be awesome. I'd be we'd love to. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 56:47

I mean, I have a friend who might be interested too if you're open to another person.

SPEAKER_02 56:50

Oh, totally. I think it would be fun. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 56:53

All right. Great.

SPEAKER_02 56:54

Make that happen. Sue.

SPEAKER_03 56:57

We put it all on Sue.

SPEAKER_01 57:00

Go, go, go.

SPEAKER_03 57:02

Yes, come on. Make it happen.

SPEAKER_07 57:05

It'll happen.

unknown 57:07

All right.

SPEAKER_07 57:09

We could we could even maybe do uh some readings for you. Yeah, absolutely. I'd be happy to do that. We can do like a group reading for you.

SPEAKER_01 57:18

That would be amazing.

SPEAKER_07 57:20

That'd be fun.

SPEAKER_01 57:21

Yeah, that would be really fun.

SPEAKER_07 57:23

Yeah. All right, everyone. If you enjoyed this episode, please like, share, make a comment, share with your friends who might need this information that Laura has given us today. You can find us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, iHeartRadio, YouTube. So take care. Be curious. Love yourself. Love your life. And we will see you next time.

SPEAKER_01 57:48

Thank you, Laura.

SPEAKER_02 57:50

Thank you. That was fun.

SPEAKER_07 57:51

That's not the closing I wanted, but that's just the way it is.

SPEAKER_03 57:55

That's okay. Are we still being recorded?

SPEAKER_07 57:57

No, I'm gonna turn it off.