The Wonderashleighland Show

A Message for Visibility

• Ashleigh Burton • Episode 33

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0:00 | 32:08
SPEAKER_01

You guys want to know something so wild? So last night, I want to say I was having a dream, but honestly, I'm like, was I half asleep? Or maybe a little more than half, but like I feel like there was some level of me being conscious to this. Anyway, I was having a dream of like giving this podcast essentially. In my dream, I was on a walk and I was just totally freestyle flowing this message, this podcast that wanted to come through. Or like this message that wanted to come through, but I'm doing it in like literally this format. I'm out on a walk recording into my headphones because I'm recording a podcast. And honestly, I'm I'm like, I'm I'm running with it. I fuck with it. I like the message, so we're doing it. We're doing it. I just think it's so funny. I've never, yeah. So in my dream, I'm saying something to the effect of like, okay, you guys, what should we talk about today? I feel like there's a lot of like mini, like miniature messages that want to come through for today's episode. Like, where should I begin? And then I say something like, oh, I know, miniature messages, like those are supposed to be for my Instagram, right? Wrong. My Instagram is literally for whatever I want to post whenever I want to post it. Okay, obviously, and like now that I'm saying it out loud, I'm like, yeah, this is a little, it's not weird. I'm more just like, I don't know. It flowed together so seamlessly, so fluently in my dream. That short-term memory loss, though, I don't remember exactly what bridged the gap. But at some point, or in some way, I start articulating how I don't know, it just led into this whole soliloquy about visibility. At some point, I started talking about how, like, you know, social media isn't for any one thing in particular. It's really just whatever I want to post when I want to post it. And it's like I could pick up on the confusion andor the resistance of how people would react to me saying that in the dream. Um, because a lot of people have a limited perception about visibility. And so, anyway, the the message in the dream, the the what end I ended up talking about in the dream was this whole spiel on visibility. So that's what I'm gonna do now. But the point in the dream that made me realize, like, oh, there's something here, like what ended up coming through was this message about how, and this makes sense, right? Like, I feel like visibility is another one of those buzzy topics, and honestly, as it should be, like it's an it's important, and people should revolutionize their relationships with visibility. Um, what was coming through in this dream though was a message about how for a lot of people their understanding of what visibility is and what it can do for them. It's not that it's incorrect, it's that it's incomplete. And I'm getting that a lot of people think that working on your visibility starts and ends with you working on like increasing your capacity to have more eyes on you, which you know is absolutely a part of it. But this message is like that's the part that matters the least. And I agree, I agree. Maybe these are my own subconscious biases coming to the surface that I would have to agree. I'm gonna be making a big assumption here with literally no research or tangible evidence to back it up. But how this feels is like I get the sense that a lot of people are working on visibility on the level of I am increasing a capacity for this part of me or this version of me to be able to be seen by X amount more people, which again is fair. I'm not trying to take that away from anybody. But again, it's like if that's the only way, if that's if that's your only concern around visibility, that's again, it's just it's incomplete. There's a lot of holes in that. And this message is here to fill in the holes. If you really want to revolutionize your concept of visibility, your relationship to visibility, this message wants you to consider. It's like take what I just said off the table. Make that an unpriority, just remove it. Make that not a goal right now. Who cares? Instead of focusing on, I really want this part of me to be visible, I really want this thing to be visible, my journey invisibility is getting comfortable with this particular self-expression, being comfortable with a thousand more eyes, a million more eyes, however many more eyes on it. It's like, swipe that off the table. Instead, this message would have you consider however many eyes are currently on you, the 10, the 20, the 30, the one, the one eyed, however, many eyes are currently on you, what will revolutionize your relationship more quickly, what will deepen your capacity to be visible, and honestly, what will get you ready for the other goal you had on the table anyway, in a much, much, much faster way. Consider that visibility isn't about your ability to have more eyes on you. Visibility is your capacity to allow the eyes that are already on you to see more of you. True revolution of visibility is in increasing your comfort in being able to allow the eyes that are already on you to see more of you. There's a message here about the more and more you put a certain version of yourself on a pedestal to be seen, you are concurrently taking light and visibility away from other parts of you that also deserve to be seen.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, are you with me here?

SPEAKER_01

It's like you may have we'll go with uh professional, you may have this professional version of yourself that you feel really strong in, really confident in. You're like, this part of me, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, deserves to be seen, deserves to like have a mic, she has something to say, and like she's ready to say it, she's ready to be seen. And if at the same time you still feel very shameful towards the part of you that's like, I don't know. I don't know, the part of you that's like really silly. Like if you feel like there is a part of me that's really ready to be visible, that I want to be visible, deserves to be visible. But then this other part of me, like, I don't want that to be seen. It's like you are that's not, I don't want to say that's not true visibility, but like in a way, in a way, that's the message I'm getting. You will get farther faster in your journey with visibility if you just own the fact that all of you deserves a seat at the table. All of you deserves to have the mic. And that doesn't mean all of you needs to be speaking into the mic at once, and you need to be every version of yourself possible in every second. It just means that in the grand scheme of everything, there isn't one version of you, there isn't one part of you that deserves to be seen and heard and visible more than the other parts of you. And so if you're really pushing for a certain version of you to be seen and you're ready for a certain version of you to be seen, while at the same time trying to dim other parts of yourself, it's like visibility needs you, it wants you to have this come one, come all energy. And wherever you're perceiving that, like in order for this version of me that I want to be visible to be more visible, I have to dim these other parts of me because they would detract from this whatever characteristic of me, it would detract from their competency. This message is saying, like, no, like energetically speaking, the energy you are putting into dimming the other parts of yourself and not wanting them to be seen is also detracting. Like you think you're dimming those parts of yourself in order to like make this one part of you brighter. It's dimming all of you. You dimming any part of yourself is you dimming every part of yourself. You really wanting a certain part of you to be to be visible, and I don't want to say at the expense of another part, but just like you trying to manipulate the perception, right? I'm really open and willing to be visible, to be perceived in this way by a lot of people for this thing. If you're holding that in one hand, but in the other hand, you're holding on to, but this part of me, I need to stay turned off. I don't want people to see this. I still have a lot of shame around this. This is not a part of me that I am comfortable being visible. It's like you can only shine as bright as however dim you are keeping whatever part of yourself that you don't want people to see. Okay. The professional version of yourself that you are like, I'm ready for people to see and experience this. I know it could have a great impact, whatever, whatever. That part of you can only shine as bright as however dim you're keeping the part of you that's, you know, a little fun, a little silly, a little what you might call immature. Whatever the lowest light setting you're willing, or sorry, whatever the highest light setting you're willing to shed on that version of you is how bright the professional version of you that's ready to be seen can shine, is the message that's coming through. And so you may feel like this professional version of you is ready to help thousands of people. But the message I'm getting is like that can't happen as long as you are unwilling to let more than like I don't know, the 10 people who know you really well and who you let see this silly immature side of you. Like if you're only, if you're not willing to let if you're not willing to let that part be visible, it's like you know. But again, this isn't just that that's just like an example, and it doesn't have to do with like two parts specifically. It has to do with like until you are comfortable being visible in your entire who you are, until you can own that and stand confidently in that, until you're not operating out of fear that there's some part of you that might be perceived, and until you're not gripping for control around what that perception is in the first place, visibility wants you to know that that's gonna be an uphill battle. Maybe not impossible. I'm not trying to say I don't I don't speak in absolutes, but like, yeah, visibility wants you to know that like energetically you're gonna be working against yourself there. And it's just letting you know that. Like it's just making visible something that might not have been visible to you. Okay. Talking about perception is lighting something else up for me. And I get this so deeply because you know, I did this um, what would I even call it?

SPEAKER_00

I did this energy healing cohort back in 2023.

SPEAKER_01

And um for for one of the two-week increments, we were working with visibility. And at the time, that was something that had never crossed my mind. It was like, I think that was the first week we were working with visibility, and then it was like the other weeks we were working with the energy of money, we were working with the energy of imposter syndrome, and those things really resonated with me. Visibility, I was kind of like, meh, like I don't really care, but obviously I'm gonna be open and receptive to whatever it is they're talking about. And so that experience for me was kind of like a wake-up call to me, even realizing that, like, oh, I do have stuff with visibility. Like, I am, like I am resistant to visibility, and I didn't even know that. And one of the ways that came up for me had to do with like um, like I realized, like, oh my gosh, I have this major block around, this major fear of being misunderstood. And what that looked like for me was I would rather be hidden, I would rather be invisible than for people to be able to see me and misunderstand me. Or worse, for people to see me, understand me, and then just not even like fuck with what I'm saying or what I'm bringing to the table. So see me, understand me, and then like still reject me.

SPEAKER_00

And what all that boils down to is perception.

SPEAKER_01

If I'm not able to have a hand in, if I'm not able to control the optics, or if I'm in a situation where I'm like, I'm not gonna know how other people are perceiving me, that I didn't even realize it until I was doing this cohort, but I was like, oh yeah, like I'm massively uncomfortable with that. Like that's a no-go for me. And so the goal in working through that and in releasing those energetic blockages was not figuring out a way that I could be more in control of how other people perceive me. The work in that is learning how to not give a fuck how other people are perceiving you. Whether people are understanding you and are just like, meh, don't care, not for me, whether people are just entirely misunderstanding you, not feeling the need to correct it. Because the other thing is people cannot see in you, perceive in you anything that they are unable to see or experience for themselves. In fact, anything that people can perceive about anything, not just other people, but just about literally anything, it all boils down to their own karma. It really doesn't have anything to do with you. But anyway, my whole point, and what this has to do with visibility, is a lot of people, again, are working on visibility from the level of there is a part of me that I have really been growing confidence in. And I love this part of me, I'm proud of this part of me, I'm ready for this part of me to be seen and perceived in this way. And so I need to increase my capacity to be visible, right? Like I need to, I'm ready for this part of me to be seen. And so, in order to do that, I need to get comfortable with the idea of hundreds, thousands, millions of people witnessing this part of me. And that is kind of working from the top down. And visibility is here to say you will get a lot farther, a lot faster, if you just accept every part of yourself and can find comfort and safety in if any part of yourself were to be visible. And if any part of yourself were to be visible and perceived in a certain way, that you'd like essentially rather it not be perceived or you feel is incorrect or misunderstood, or whatever the case may be.

SPEAKER_00

If you can maintain comfort and visibility. If and when that's going on.

SPEAKER_01

If you aren't, if you can maintain fearlessness at the thought of any part of you maybe being seen or perceived in a certain way, visibility wants you to know that you are going to get exponentially farther, exponentially faster in your journey to visibility. And in the process of doing that, you creating capacity to have the hundreds or thousands or millions of eyes on you is just going to be a natural outcome of that. And that is because yeah, it's like your ability to not really give a fuck what other people are perceiving in you. And not just to say it, right? Not just to defensively, like, I don't care what other people think. But you know, you're saying that out of pettiness and spite because at the end of the day, you do. I mean, if you can genuinely feel neutrality about, like, oh, that's what that person thinks, that's what that person saw in me, okay, and keep it moving. That is evidence of secure attachment within yourself.

SPEAKER_00

And you being able to build that muscle, flex that muscle is inherently your capacity to have however many eyes on you and not give a fuck.

SPEAKER_01

And feel very secure in who you are, to know yourself, to know your heart, to know your purpose, to keep waking up every day and going after the things that you want to go for, to live in your truth, all that good stuff.

SPEAKER_00

So that is the message that came through in my dream. Thank you, subconscious mind, and whoever else was involved in that. And yeah. Like, is there anything else I want to say about this? When you get really comfortable with the ten pair of eyes that are on you, seeing you for who you truly are, not for who your ego wants you to be perceived as.

SPEAKER_01

That will do more for your visibility journey than getting up in front of ten thousand pairs of eyes and working hard. Because imagine, even if that professional version of you got up on stage in front of ten thousand people and controlled the narrative perfectly, right, in accordance with who your ego wants to be perceived as how good you are, how smart you are, how capable you are, etc. If there's any part of your energy that is performing, catering to an audience, right? To get them to perceive what it is you want them to perceive. If that goes well, that is like that is gonna be a feedback loop that keeps you even more stuck where you already are, even more resistant to embodying full and total unconditional love for yourself. And it's like the effort you had to put into that, you're basically going to be proving to yourself that you could like need to continue putting that much effort into dimming certain parts of yourself, gripping on to control a narrative.

SPEAKER_00

And so you will continue to be a slave to your ego.

SPEAKER_01

I'm not saying this isn't me saying that, like, oh, you're giving a professional whatever presentation and you're just like F it, I'm not gonna prepare, and I'm just gonna go on stage and be really immature and silly. That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying if you only feel pride in yourself and love for yourself in that moment, but in moments when you're being like if you can cringe yourself out, if you can cringe yourself out if you're just like by yourself, being yourself, or if you're just like in any situation and you're just being yourself and you cringe yourself out, like not a good sign. Not a good sign. A lot of us, it's like if you cannot even be weird in front of yourself, if you cannot love and accept yourself in all of your weirdness, how do you expect anybody else to accept you for who you fully are?

SPEAKER_00

And you know what? Maybe some people don't expect that, but they should.

SPEAKER_01

But they really, you really should, and you should start with yourself. Anyway, where was I going with that? I guess I'm just saying, like, if you can love the version of you that's silly and immature and weird when she wants to be, when she has something to say, if you let her come to the table and have space to be herself, and you witness her and you love her, and you're like, damn, you are, like you are everything. I adore you. If you give that version of yourself just as much admiration and attention as the version of you that did that presentation in front of 10,000 people, it went really well.

SPEAKER_00

Like that is so important.

SPEAKER_01

When every part of you feels like there is room within you for them to be embodied in love, for your full self to come to the table when it has something to say, there's room for it to say it, and you will listen and you will give it that level of love and attention. Like the level of love and acceptance and visibility you are willing to give yourself is mirrored and reflected in the relationships and the perceptions of the people around you. Okay. So your ability to witness all of you and allow other people to potentially witness and perceive all of you in whatever way they're going to perceive it, that is how you expand your capacity to be visible. And you will be having not even just way more fun in the process, you will be free in that process. Truly free. Okay. Love you guys so much. Happy fucking Monday. Um, that's all okay. Love you guys. See you next week.