Nutmeg Lit Fest Podcast
Where stories speak. The Nutmeg Lit Fest Podcast features conversations with authors, poets, and creatives, highlighting the voices and stories that shape our literary community on and off the festival stage.
Nutmeg Lit Fest Podcast
Finding Home, Finding Yourself | Vanessa E. Kelman, Author of Searching for Home
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In this heartfelt episode of the Nutmeg Lit Fest Podcast, we sit down with Vanessa E. Kelman, author of Searching for Home, for a thoughtful conversation about identity, belonging, healing, and the journey of finding yourself through life’s unexpected turns. Vanessa shares the inspiration behind her work, the emotions woven into storytelling, and what “home” truly means beyond a place. During our signature From the Page segment, listeners get a closer look at the heart behind the book and the woman who wrote it. Tune in for an inspiring conversation about resilience, reflection, and rediscovery.
Welcome to the NutMek Litfest podcast for Story Speaker. This is a space that celebrates authors, storytellers, poets, and creatives from Connecticut and beyond. Here we are lifting voices, sharing stories, and spotlighting the creativity that brings our literary community to life. Whether you're a writer, a reader, or simply someone who loves a powerful story, this podcast is for you. Get ready for conversations that inspire, connect, and celebrate the magic of storytelling. This is Nutmeg Litfest Podcast. Hello, hello, hello everyone, and welcome back to the Nutmeg Litfest Podcast. This is where stories come to life through the voices of the authors who write them and the lives that shape those stories. I'm your host, Janae Hernandez. In each episode, we take time to slow down and go beyond the book. Into the journey, that perspectives, and the person behind the page. Today's conversation is one that feels deeply humid. I'm joined by Vanessa, author of Searching for Home, part of a series, and she's gonna get into all of her books in her series, dabble into a little bit of the first one, and discovering that sometimes the detours in life lead you exactly where you are meant to be. But today isn't just about the book. We're gonna dig a little bit into Vanessa's perspective, her journey, and the moments that shaped the story she chose to tell. Vanessa, welcome to the Nutmeg Lip Fest Podcast.
SPEAKER_00Thank you so much. Happy to be here.
SPEAKER_01We are happy to have you here. And before we get into the writing, Vanessa, I want to start with you as a person. Share your journey and give us a little insight of what you actually did to hop on the writing off their series and journey as we all are.
SPEAKER_00That's a loaded question, Janaya. Okay, so um, I have been writing my whole life. I mean, it's just it's a part of me. I've been writing stories since I was a kid. Um, it took a while for me to write a novel, um, but the writing has just always been part of me. Even when I wasn't actively writing, it was always one of those things like in the back of my mind, like I should be writing. Oh, no, you don't have to worry about school and all that stuff. You should be writing instead. Um, so it's always just been a part of me. It's one of those things I just I can't shut down. Um, so like I said, I grew up writing stories, and then when I became an adult, I decided to take on a novel. It actually started at work. I probably shouldn't say that, but I have read it.
SPEAKER_01No, we gotta share. You gotta share. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00My first novel actually started with being bored at work. Um, like I said, writing has always been, you know, in the back of my mind as something I should be doing. So when presented with boredom at work and the inability to have a book to read or anything else to keep me occupied, I had to find something to do.
SPEAKER_01Hello.
SPEAKER_00So we had one of the few things that I had access to was a computer and email. So I actually started writing a novel to myself via email. Um, and that's how I started my novel journey.
SPEAKER_01Wow.
SPEAKER_00That was a while ago, though.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. So, how many novels do you have out actually published? And then if you can share a little bit, are you self-published? Um, do you have a publisher? We'd we'd love to hear more.
SPEAKER_00I have written seven novels. Seven. And I have one non-fiction self-help book. What? Um, all of them have been self-published. Um, I technically have a business, so I like have a publishing name kind of thing, but I they all are self-published. So I've I tried the traditional route back after I finished my first novel and just didn't work out for me. I'm sure you've heard the story before, you know, getting lots of no's that kind of thing, and nobody had anything bad to say. It was just they didn't feel strongly enough about it to pursue it. So I went the self-root.
SPEAKER_01Now, Vanessa, I have another probably loaded question. I love how you say the loaded question. You are one of not many that I hear you technically have a business. Do share and say to us listeners who probably can learn something today, why you decided to go that route.
SPEAKER_00Oh, let's see. I told you it was loaded to explain this. I'm just trying to formulate my thoughts. Um, so perhaps I should preface this by saying I come from a bit of an entrepreneurial family. Okay. So I am very familiar with owning your own business. Um, I have actually owned my own business previously as well. And so I know somewhat, you know, the ins and outs, legalities of what you should be doing. Uh, a big part of that is with sales tax. So in the state of Connecticut, as you may be aware, you know, we have to pay sales tax, but also as a retailer, as someone who is selling your wares, you are supposed to charge sales tax and then report that to the state, uh, usually quarterly. Sometimes if your sales are small enough, it can be annually, but in general, it's usually quarterly. Um so I knew that I wanted to be able to sell my books in person at events, and I wanted things to be as above board as possible. I was trying to make this a career in a sense, um, possibly just as a side gig, but ideally I would love to be able to do it full time. So I wanted to start things off right. And so what I did was I knew I would need to get a sales and use tax permit, which is registering with the state as a retailer that I would be collecting sales tax and therefore would need to report sales tax. So when I uh sell books in person at events, I essentially charge people sales tax. Though in my case, I roll it into the cost of the book. So on their end, I'm not paying sales tax, but on my end I am, like when I keep my paperwork, um, so I still am charging sales tax, and then I report it and I I uh pay, actually just paid it this morning. Um for the first quarter of this year. Um so to when you create a sales and use tax permit when you register with the state, um, you can do it as like a DBA, which is doing business as. Um, and that is what I chose to do. So it's not just under my name. I actually have a business name, it's called Word Collage Publishing.
SPEAKER_01I like that.
SPEAKER_00Wow. And so I um I decided to go that route instead of just doing it under my name because when I have my ISBNs, when I purchased my ISBNs, and I have it listed, you know, when you are as an indie pu uh indie author, indie publisher uploading your books, they want your imprint name, your publishing name. Yes so that it shows that as the publisher on record, when you um go to like an Amazon page or whatever, the the book page when you're looking to purchase online, it indicates who the publisher is. So I didn't want it to just say Vanessa E. Kelman because I wanted it to look more professional. I gotcha. There is still unfortunately a big stigma with indie authors, you know, people will think that they're inferior quality or just not worth your time. So to try to avoid that, I went with a publishing name so that it would look more professional, look more like a traditional publisher, where it wasn't just my name, but actually a publishing company's name. But because I'm individual, it's a DBA, so doing business as is technically the legal term.
SPEAKER_01So listen, we appreciate the learning, we appreciate the learning, and I also appreciate your honesty. Um, a lot of authors felt what you said, um, but we don't really speak it out loud. But it is sometimes frowned upon when you know, and looks more professional when you see so-and-so publishing company. Um, which I hope we kind of um in this day and age, with how many writers are out and how popular reading and becoming an author has become, um, that we can kind of get past that um, I guess, stigma to to say.
SPEAKER_00I'd like it would be nice. I think it's getting better. It's just not quite there yet.
SPEAKER_01I mean, a long we have come a long way, I will say that. It's actually, I've seen a lot of like stories formulate and um, you know, uh a lot of posts lately about you know, support your indie bookstore. So I'm happy that that wave um is come, but enough about them because we want to hear about you, Vanessa, and I want to hear how did your stories formulate and which ones are in the series, or and if any of them are independent standalone on their own, not included in the series, because you said you have seven novels out. Amazing.
SPEAKER_00I have seven novels. Um, so I wrote uh that very first book. Um, the first one I wrote was called Chasing Fate, and that one was the one that I started at work. Um and the idea for that, I did not have an idea for that one. Um, it actually started with okay, so let me preface this by saying when I made the decision, okay, I'm bored out of my mind, and what else can I do? I'm gonna write something via email. I had no idea what to write about. So as a writer, I mean, I'm sure you and every other even aspiring writer out there has like a shelf full of writing books. Uh and one of the writing books that I had was a story starter's book. So the book, I'm like, okay, I'll bring this to work. I'll kind of flip through, see if I can find something, and then I'll go from there. And the prompt, I believe, was an inanimate object that plays an integral part. And that's where I started. I decided that the inanimate object would be a ring, and in this case it ended up being a promise ring. So the first novel starts with that. Um, starts with a woman on a bus. Her name is Melanie, and she has a promise ring that was given to her by a boyfriend 15 years ago.
SPEAKER_01Cool. I love. Come yes.
SPEAKER_00So that one was my first novel. Um, and then after that one was written, of course, I couldn't stop there. So I wrote a second one, which was kind of a sequel, but more like a spin-off. It took one of the side characters from Chasing Fate and made her one of the main characters. And then I introduced a second main character. Um, and then I made a that one was called Accepting Fate. And then the third one that I wrote took a very small character from the second one and made her one of the main characters of the third one. That one's called Tempting Fate. So those three are kind of a trilogy. I call them my fate trilogy, but they're really more like spin-offs of each other. So kind of related but standalone stories. And then I took about 10 years off. Really? Because that yeah, the first one I published 2011, I want to say. Um, I had completed it in 2010, maybe 2009, 2010. Um, then self-published it myself in 2011. The other two were pretty quick after that. I had the other two within a couple of years. Um, but then you know, kids, life, things happen and stuff gets busy and it just gets pushed to the side. But as I had said earlier, writing is one of those things that just won't let me go. I have to keep doing it whether I want to or not. It's kind of uh I feel guilty when I'm not doing it. So I had to pick it back up. So in 2023, well, 23 is when I published it. I can't remember if I started it in 2022 or 2023. Um, but that's when I wrote the book that we were originally discussing, Searching for Home.
SPEAKER_01Yes.
SPEAKER_00So Searching for Home is the first in a small town series. So it had always been in the back of my mind. Uh I enjoy reading series that take place in a small town where there are lots of characters' lives intertwining and you know, affecting each other and ongoing storylines and that kind of thing. So I start decided I wanted to start writing that. And so searching for home was the first one, and I published that in 2023. And then the following year I wrote a second one called Between the Moments, which picks up where Searching for Home uh leaves off. And then last year I actually published two. I published the third one, which is a simpler life, and then the fourth one, which is a Christmas book, um, and has more of a romance slant. Um, all of my books in general are women's fiction. Yes. So they develop they focus more on the character development. Uh, there may be some romance in them, but they're focused more on the character development. And the Christmas one, a cafe Christmas, is more of a romance. Uh, so it does still have some character development in there as well, but it does uh focus more on the romance of the two main characters.
SPEAKER_01Now, my question for you, because it sounds like these are two different series, right? And your first group, your trilogy, what made you say, I'm not going to do like an add-on for the main character, but highlight and give spotlights to the supporting characters because you don't truly see that traditionally, right? In a in a trilogy or a series, it usually follows one character, and that one character is always the spotlight. And then this next group, which sounds very like fascinating, by the way. I love a small town because I always feel like it's drama, and no one really, no one really sees the drama to be like dig deep, kind of like um desperate hotspides, you know how like everything looks crisp and clear in Connecticut, and then you start reading and really digging into each character, and you're like, Oh, there's drama, there's drama in there, and I need to see it, I need to watch it, I need I need to read it. So, what made you go like a different route than you were traditionally doing, where you were taking some supporting characters and making them have their own shine? And then in this group, it sounds like it kind of is like an add-on to like your first one. Um, like what made you pivot uh if you if you care to share?
SPEAKER_00So, in some ways, they're actually very similar. Um, when I say that they're a series with lots of characters' lives intertwining and all of that, and there are storylines that continue, that is true. However, each book focuses on different people.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_00So when so the first book, Searching for Home, there are three, I would say, main characters. There's Addy, Maggie, and Mike. And the second book um continues with Maggie, but the characters of Addie and Mike just kind of become peripheral. They're not main characters in that book. So Maggie continues on, and then we learn more about um a couple of side characters that had been present in Searching for Home, and then introduce some other characters too. Um, the third one, A Simpler Life, is more standalone than the other. Well, I shouldn't say standalone, but it introduces new characters, and so other characters that we had seen in the previous two become more peripheral. Um, so we still see them, and like every once in a while get a peek. It's like, oh, you know, what are they up to kind of thing? And you can see kind of where their lives are going, but they're not the focus anymore. So each story focuses on different characters, different people in the town. So while we will see what's going on with characters we had met previously and read about previously, they're just not the focus anymore. Um, that may somewhat change. I don't know if you know, we'll have some come back and have more of a dominant storyline. I honestly have no idea. Really? Oh, there are just too many stories.
SPEAKER_01Are you writing something currently? Uh like I currently have three books in the works. Three books? Okay, I have a question for you. I have a question. Yeah, okay. Where do we find the energy, the stamina to keep like sometimes I'm not gonna lie, like I, after writing a book am burnt out, like I had to take a break, a mental health break. There's always things formulating, but how do you have the stamina to keep writing? I mean, you took a break, but it seems like even after your break, you just have been two in one year. Like, where do you dig deep? Where do you find the inspiration?
SPEAKER_00The inspiration has never been a problem. Um, the motivation and the stamina is a whole other story. Uh, and that kind of comes and goes. Uh, sometimes I am all about it and I could just dive right in. And sometimes it's definitely more of a slog. You know, it's really hard to get myself down and write, or even when I do sit down, the words just don't come. Um, but it's it just doesn't let me go. And the ideas never stop, the inspiration never stops. And it's like I can't just say, okay, I'm done and step back because that's not how my brain works. I have technically ideas for what the focus of like how many is it? Maybe like the next seven Pine Valley books will be or something. I kind of have them jotted down. So I let me preface this by saying I preface a lot of things here. Um, we okay, you may be familiar with the idea of plotters versus panters. Yes. I am a total pancer. So I have a general idea, but I have don't really know where it's going to take me.
SPEAKER_01Gotcha.
SPEAKER_00So what I have written down is basically just okay, I want to dive into this character, and this is what I have an idea for of like what might happen in this book. But I don't outline anything, I don't have anything really you know, formulated points or anything like that. I have no idea what's gonna, excuse me, what's gonna happen. So the way that I write is I will usually start with a character and a potential storyline. And I may have an idea of where it's going to go, like what I want the end result to be. Maybe now maybe. Um and then as I'm writing, I'm learning about these characters, I'm learning, they become real to me. So when I'm writing, I start asking myself, okay, what would they do in this situation? How would they act? What would they say? But I will say that with searching for home, what I had envisioned as the end when I started out is not how it ended up. I had a completely different path for Addy and Maggie. Um I expected things to go one way, or at least that's what I had in my mind as you know, this would be a potential solution to their issues, their concerns. And as I was writing, like, no, that doesn't fit Addy. That's not her. That wouldn't work. So it just took me in a completely different direction. Um, I was able to circle back somewhat, you know, get it where I ultimately wanted it to be, but the path, it was completely different, and how it ended up was very different than what I had.
SPEAKER_01I love listening to you guys. Uh I you know, I've learned so much from the authors from Nutmeg. Uh I always it always comes back to the characters are the boss, and the characters take us where the journey's going, and not us like writing out the character. They be they literally become real. And and they're like, nope, that's actually not what I want to do. We're gonna we're gonna go this way, and you're just here to write the words down. And I hear that in different ways, and I'm I'm hearing that also from you. Would you would you agree?
SPEAKER_00Absolutely, and it's sometimes they just don't let you go, and that's kind of one of the reasons why I have so many stories kind of planned out or you know, just penciled in because characters kind of grab hold of you and they're like, I want my story told next. Like, when's my turn? You know, so I have to figure it out.
SPEAKER_01Yes, so this has made me more intrigued, and we have a segment, one of my favorites, favorite, favorite segments is called From the Page. And this is when one of our authors get to make their story come to life. We get to listen, we get to dig in. And whenever you're ready, tell us what book you're gonna share and start reading from the page.
SPEAKER_00So I'm going to read from searching for home, and I'm going to actually start right from the beginning because I think that. That's the best way to start. There's no you're coming in blind. You have no idea what's going on. That's I think the way to go. And it just kind of introduces the character, the setting, all of that. So we'll give it a try. So searching for home, chapter one. Addie felt like she'd been running forever. Her lungs ached, struggling to breathe in the cool, damp air. It had to be less than a mile now. Surely it hadn't been this far when she was driving, though of course the miles had passed in a blur through the car's windows. Time had flown too as the darkness had descended. Addie paused a moment, bending over to rest her hands on her knees and suck in a few lungfuls of air. It didn't help that she was weighed down by her duffel bag. She thought about slowing her pace, but she knew between the fast approaching night and the crispness in the air she would be chilled to the bone in no time. She had started at a walk and had nearly frozen. Besides, the faster she got to civilization, the better. She was not one to enjoy nature in bright sunlight, never mind misty moonlight. One wolf's howl and she would be a goner. She was right about the distance, and less than a half hour later she was walking into a town center, panting and wiping sweat from her brow. It wasn't late. A glance at her watch said it was barely eight, but not much had appeared to be open. It looked like a small town, quaint, with a few stores and restaurants, and houses dotting the distance with squares of with squares of light. She supposed if it was day that she would see a cute little post office, children pouring out of a little red schoolhouse, and a playground filled with mothers pushing tiny tops and swings. She felt as if she'd walked into a nineteen fifties sitcom. Spotting a diner that boasted twenty four hour service, she turned her steps in that direction. She could really use a cup of coffee. A bell above the door jingled, and a waitress gestured toward an open seat at the counter. Addie slid onto the red vinyl seat, placed her duffel bag on the floor by her feet, and grabbed a menu from behind the napkin holder. A moment later the same waitress flipped the coffee cup in front of her and picked up a glass pot from the percolator. Coffee? Please. The cup was poured and the waitress disappeared for a moment or two before returning, pencil poised above a pad. What can I get ya? Suddenly ravenous from her run, Addie's eyes flitted over the menu. Get the salad, Adelaide. She could hear her mother's voice as clearly as if she were in the room. Add grilled chicken if you must, but don't you dare get anything else. Addie sighed. Chicken Caesar salad, please. She placed the menu back where it belonged. Her mother wouldn't approve of the Caesar dressing, but Addie was tired of bland salads with plain chicken. A girl must watch her figure. Coming right up. As she waited, Addie sipped her coffee and looked around the diner. It looked as she had expected. A family sat in the corner eating ice cream Sundays, a young couple sat at the other end of the diner by the window, gazing adoringly into each other's eyes. All that was missing was nope, here they came. As Addie turned back toward the door, a group of high school aged boys burst in, laughing and chatting up a storm. From the attire, Addie gathered they were a sports team, and by the ball one of the boys was tossing into the air she deduced it was basketball. The waitress who had been helping her greeted the boys with a smile. Did we win, guys? Cream dum, one of the boys shouted with a grin. The waitress whooped. Then pie's on the house. The young men piled into a couple of booths in the center of the diner, and the waitress showered them with attention, handing out thick slices of pie and glasses of water. By the chorus of Thanks, Mags, Addie surmised that the waitress's name must be Margaret, or some derivation thereof. Funny how she hadn't even thought to ask, or look at a name tag, or something. She really used to be more observant and more outgoing than this. Maybe the stress of the past few months was taking its toll. She could hear her mother scolding her again. Adelaide, you've got to get your head out of the clouds. What are you doing here in the middle of nowhere with people you don't know in a town you don't even know the name of? Pine Valley, Addie argued back in her mind. The boys' shirt said Pine Valley Panthers. The town must be Pine Valley. And I will end there.
SPEAKER_01First, is your book on audio? Not yet. And please, you do the reading. That you just made the characters come to life. They sounded so different. I felt them like please. If you do audio, make sure you read your own book. Amazing.
SPEAKER_00That is ideally my plan. Um, it's just a question of time and resources.
SPEAKER_01That word, that word time, right? That word time. I have a question for you. The idea of home can mean so many different things depending on where you are in life. And right now, in your season, what does home mean to you?
SPEAKER_00Well, I live in East Hartford. Um, I'm I mean, home is home is where I live. It's uh my kids, you know, my family. I um that's always been my idea of home, you know, being surrounded by loved ones and where you feel comfortable, where you feel welcome. That's really what home means to me. And I think as it relates to in particular the first book in the series, Searching for Home, the main character, Addy, is the one who's really struggling with that because she is basically running away from her old life and trying to start over and find that place, you know, where she feels welcome and comfortable and loved and all of that. So that to me is what home really means.
SPEAKER_01What do you hope your listeners get out of your books?
SPEAKER_00All of my books have a kind of running theme, and the same could be said of the the one nonfiction book I did too, and that is overcoming challenges, I guess is the simplest way to put it. Um obviously we all have things that don't necessarily go right. Um, that things that we have to overcome, either mistakes from the past or dealing with, you know, the aftermath of choices that we have made or things that other people have thrust upon us, or figuring out who we are, who we what we want out of life, all of that. So my general over, you know, overarching theme of all of my books is trying to empower characters and empower the readers who read them. Um, that, you know, even if life is not going that great, or even if you have things that you wish were different or better, that you can turn things around, you can make things the way you want them to be. You can kind of take charge of your life and really make things better, you know, find happiness, find that joy in life, and really become who you want to be and get what you want out of life.
SPEAKER_01Vanessa, this has been such a meaningful conversation. I really want you to know that your last statement touched and resonated with me, not just as an author, but as Jenea. So I hope that also resonates for you listeners and for you too, Vanessa, because sometimes you know we're very good at spitting the words out. And I hope that you take some of that in because it was really uh well received for me. Just I I thought that was important for me to share with you. So, not that this is just about your book. I'm so happy that we got to learn a little bit about Vanessa, the author. But if we want to get any of your books, where can we find them?
SPEAKER_00They should be available widely, uh, both in ebook and in print. Uh so of course, you know, Amazon and all of that, but also um through bookshop.org if you want to support indie bookstores, which I'm a big advocator for. And uh they should be all over the place. Uh there's there are links available through my website, vanessaekelman.com. Okay. And that can take you to a whole variety of uh individual retailer links, both domestically and internationally. They're available all over the place. I love it.
SPEAKER_01I love it. For our listeners, if something in this conversation stayed with you and it made you pause, reflect, or feel seen, like for me, take this as your invitation to explore these stories further. You can find searching for home, like Spinessa just told us, wherever books are sold. Thank you for spending time with us today on the Nutmeg Let Fest podcast where stories speak. New episodes drop every Tuesday. So until next time, keep reading, stay curious, and continue letting stories speak. Bye.