Finding Your Purpose | Part 2 | ft. Dr Zara

Picking up where we left off, we continue the conversation on finding your purpose and hearing God’s direction for your life. Zara is a pediatrician and shares the story of discovering her calling at a Revival-themed conference, only to now find herself on the Revival Podcast, a full-circle testimony of how God can use one moment to redirect your entire life. We also explore why knowing your calling may be one of the most important foundations before dating and choosing a partner based on scripture.

Transcript

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Host: Smilla 0:00

Hi guys and welcome back to Revival, a podcast where we reflect, we restore, and rebuild. Today I'm not alone. I have our very first guest. Zara. I'm gonna let you introduce yourself.

Dr. Zara 0:14

My name is Zara. I'm Smilla's friend. Daughter of God. Daughter.

Host: Smilla 0:20

We love that. We love that. I feel like. What should I say? I don't know. I feel like the thing was right. Yeah. This part two. Yeah. I had pardon me. I had two, I guess, groups of people that I kind of thought about when it comes to like inviting for this topic. Because as a creative, most people around me are creatives. And especially regarding like purpose, it's so many people where I feel like that I've heard their testimonies when they're like leaving their jobs and they're like they're starting the career, like your sister being one of them. Like, and I feel like it's creative, creative, creative. And I feel like most people, and that might just be my assumption, is hearing those testimonies as well. But it's nice to hear testimonies of purpose when it's actually about like not jobs that are necessarily less creative, but just now in the creative industry, if you would so say. And I think it's important that people hear both, and not just because I feel like even on social media stuff, there's so much um public testimonies about people that are in the creative industry. I feel like, but I haven't come across so many people that are from like the industry that you work in, for example. Um, hence why I brought you on. We met in church. Yes. Basically came up to me and was like, hey, yeah, let's go out. And I was like, Yeah, exactly, let's do it. And here we are. Yeah. I feel like I'm very honored, like, to have to have you in my life. I think that you're a big representation for me, not just that age don't matter, because you can you can be in one room and you can be older than the most, you can be one room and seem like the youngest in the room. But I mean that's a compliment because I think you whether that is the people creating that safety for you to be the silly goose and the loose, as you call it, or whether that is just you know how you feel comfortability-wise, anyway, but knowing your story and your testimony, and I think people that have some sort of trauma stamp on their on their life and still being the most joyful person that I know, it's like I really, really like respect and admire that about you.

Dr. Zara 2:27

My also just also about you as well that you just love God so fiercely, and so like it's it, it's God or nothing, and I just love that. I think that there's not many of us in our generation that are that way, and and there is a place for that that that God calls us to absolute holiness and to follow Him with all our hearts. So it is like I just love that our friendship gives me that encouragement to be that way as well.

Host: Smilla 2:53

Oh with um further ado, we're gonna pray first before we start off. Um as many of you know, I got some instructions um on the train for like the podcast, and this one, the part two, was a lot of the things that I already kind of filled in the first episode. So I thought this would be a good place where we just kind of continue the conversation um to share some more wisdom with some help from a fellow help me. Um yeah, without ado, let's pray. Yeah, Father God, I just thank you, Father, that we are able to use this platform for your kingdom, Father. I just uh thank you for the words and for um just all the tools and wisdom that you will share with us today, Father. I just pray that you will use us and that you will speak through us, Father. Um, and that whether people are on the gym or at home or watching or listening, Father, that you will speak to their individual season that they're in, Father. And that they will be overwhelmed by your Holy Spirit and just cause a revival in their life, Father. In the name of Jesus I pray. Amen.

Dr. Zara 3:58

Amen.

Host: Smilla 3:59

Um I kind of first want to ask you where you kind of first heard purpose, like before you even like got it or received it. Like, did was that something that you felt led to explore? Like who told you about purpose, like for the first time? Yeah.

Dr. Zara 4:16

I think for me specifically, one of the testimonies is that I've always known that I was going to be a pediatrician. God had told me ever since I was a little girl myself. Um, and even when I don't remember the memory, my parents will often tell me the exact moments where I had like announced to the entire house that I was going to be a children's doctor, and so I lived a lot of my life just believing that all he had for me was to participate in the physical health of children, um, and it's been really encouraging to see that I was limiting myself, but that no, he he has more, and and he will use my job, which is one of the areas, but that's one out of five ways that he has um very, very clearly told me that he's going to use me. I think like at school, you always hear purpose being used in the general um scheme of things, and like the person that creates a thing is the one that defines the purpose of that thing. But with regards to like what that looks like for me spiritually in my walk with Jesus, this was literally last year. Um, at the beginning of the year, I had spent some time with my family who were abroad and had attended their church and a conference where God had very clearly told me that last year at the time was going to be a year where that was going to be very youth heavy and as well that London was going to be my home. At the time I didn't know where I was going to move, so I just was like, yeah, God, okay, whatever. Fine, we'll see. But then I also laughed because um I work with children every day, and so I just felt my life is already very youth heavy. What do you mean by your life is going to be very youth heavy this year? Um, fast forward to a couple months later, I had been getting like short-term contracts, and I got this long-term contract in a very competitive program that meant that I was going to be in London for seven years, and so I just remember almost like a smirk on God's face being like, I told you, I'm being like, Alright, God, I see you. Um, but also um a few months again later, I then attended another conference that I just honestly didn't know what the conference was about. I just felt like I needed to be there. Very last minute, I applied for leave and went to that conference. And it's called the Awakening Project. And it's a conference that's hosted by three churches in East of England, one of them being your church.

Host: Smilla 6:44

And they swap locations as well.

Dr. Zara 6:45

Yes, yes. And um, at that conference, um, a lot of the themes that we were going through was what revival was, what revival looked like for our generation, but also what our awakening projects are. And to use the language that we use, it would be your God-given assignments, what was God inviting you to partner with him um in the season of your life, or what was your calling that he'd put for the rest of your life. Um, and I realized I'd never actually thought about it or asked him about it. At that conference, we were put in a group in the penultimate day, and it was a group that just had very young people, um, which is always a dream for me. Find out why. And so um I sat there and the the host of the group was kind of inviting us to reflect as a group what our awakening project, our God-given assignments were, and what our calling over our lives were. And I knew that I didn't know. Um, and so I just listened to these young people say with such certainty what God had told them to do in the season that they were currently working, walking in, rather, and also as well for the rest of their lives, and they just knew that they knew that they knew, and it was just beautiful to see, but it was also so encouraging and um very remarkable. So I remember getting on the bus home. Um, I am very, very honest with God with my feelings, and so I just let him know very, very sternly how unimpressed I was that I didn't know. I never asked, so it wasn't his fault. Um, but um, I was just telling him how like I was going to go with my own testimony the next day, whether he liked it or not. I don't know how he was going to tell me, but he had to let me know. Yeah, um, and in his kindness and in his grace, he just very gently, almost immediately told me, I have called you to help the pediatric population experience wholeness in in their lives. Um, that's physically, spiritually, emotionally, relationally, and mentally. Um, and so I was very excited. I'm like, Whoa, you speak, you're speaking, so good now. I know, but almost immediately I I felt really sad, and I said, Oh, I don't think that it's fair that I get to help or walk with people experiencing wholeness, and I haven't experienced that in my life. Um, and again, almost immediately, still on this intense tube ride home or bus ride, and just felt God give me flashbacks to the things that He was already doing in my life and the evidence of you are experiencing these things, and you have already experienced some of these things. And so, if I think about it even like physically, I used to have migraines more times in a year than I was migraine free. I didn't know what it felt like to be migraine free. God completely healed me of migraines miraculously, where the doctors didn't know what was going on. Um, if I think about it emotionally or mentally, I used to have anxiety as well all the time and didn't even have the language for what I was experiencing because I didn't speak about it with anyone. So I would just be in my own head and in like a lot of turmoil. And in 2020, God revealed to me that I was having anxiety or panic attacks and then gave me the promise that He was going to heal me from it, and again, don't experience anxiety. I now almost don't even know what that feels like, and that's just such a gift to me. Um, and um relationally, I think like everyone else, like we've all gone through struggles, right? And so in my life growing up, I'd been through difficult situations. Um, and God had taught me very early on radical forgiveness, and so the way that I felt like he did that in my life was that he um helped me to see the people slash institutions that I felt had been unjust to me or had wrong wronged me. Um and he showed me that he wasn't only for me, but that he was also for them, and that his dream for the world was that we would all be reunited with him, and so they were my brothers and my sisters, and I should be for them as well. And so, yeah, and so I just he was teaching me and training me to forgive and to truly forgive people, and showing me that even if I don't get that reconciliation that I want to hear on earth, that like I have him and that he is the ultimate um reconciliation that I would need. And finally, I think spiritually, um, just prior, so in 2023, I lost a family member that was really close to me. Um, and this person was someone that loved Jesus like with all their heart, like sold out to Jesus, obsessed with Jesus, and losing them made it really difficult for me to connect with God as a father. Like I would go to Jesus when I could and vence to him about how disappointed because he was my friend, like Jesus my savior, Jesus my friend, my brother. Um, and I would vence to him and be so disappointed, but like I could not worship God the Father, I just couldn't. Um, and I felt a lot of shame with that as well. That like I I know my parents have brought me up, and I know God is real, yeah, and I know that he loves me and he is for me. So why can I not just like let go and still worship him? Um why am why am I only worshiping when things are good? Um, and he gave me flashbacks to again through that time of intense grief, how people in my life um he was using them as his hands and feet, and so people would call me randomly and be like, Sarah, I just felt like I should sing this song over you, or I just felt like I should pray this prayer for you, and like God's children literally held me and my family like this, and just carried me through that season. Um, and God was showing me how even when I felt weak, that He'd provided for me and that He was still bringing about that spiritual wholeness in my life, and like still and then He said, Look, look at where we are. You can worship me now and you can pray to me now. You don't need someone else to do that for you, but also you can yell at me, you're yelling at me in the bus in your head, like that's how far we've come. We've come to that point of our relationship as well, where you you are close enough and honest enough with me. Um, and so yeah, he'd shown me how he'd done all these things in my life, and also then showed me moments in my so in my day-to-day, I am a pediatrician and I work with kids, and he'd shown me how um he was already using me in my calling graciously, and I didn't even realize that he was doing that, and moments with with my patients or their families that stood out to me, and like it was so evident that I was only able to reach them because of the Holy Spirit and the way that he was ministering to them through me. So, yeah.

Host: Smilla 13:49

Planting seeds, not even knowing it. Yes. So on that bus ride, after all those flashbacks, was like the confirmation that you were walking in purpose, would you say? So, how would you describe your assignment and calling?

Dr. Zara 14:02

Yes. So I think that um God's given me a few assignments. Um, the the most recent one that He has given me was that I was then asked to like step up to a position of leadership at church with youth, um, and just um stewarding the youth of my church um in the way that they should go, like the Bible says. And I I know that my calling, again, like I said, is to serve the young people and to help them experience wholeness. Um, and so I know that this goes aligned with my with my calling. I feel like there are a few other assignments that I'm still kind of waiting for how they they fit into my calling, but I know very clearly that those are the things that he's asked of me.

Host: Smilla 14:42

But calling-wise, like you're who you would say it's youth.

Dr. Zara 14:45

Oh yes, absolutely.

Host: Smilla 14:47

From the babies to the teenagers, I would say, yeah, that's my I think the posture that you kind of carried, or like I guess attitude that you carried with God and the bus ride, the stubbornness, I can somewhat relate to that. Because that was me. Yeah. Before I found my purpose. Yeah. I think like you, I think I felt very drawn towards the Who, like I was very drawn, very young towards like the arts, like the people around me, not internally my family, but outside of my family. Like my aunt was a model, my uncle was a musician, and my other uh my two grandparents, one was a photographer and one was a director and actor. Um, my sister danced, my mom was a stylist and makeup artist, and then chefs. And I think all of them, like everything that they do, I now today are doing in some shape or form. Um, and I think God was kind of planning seats of like, and I think also it helped me once I then received the calling because I've already seen my family walk in that a little bit, so it didn't feel too impossible because I was like, I've seen that before me. Yeah, um, I also grew up in like a blockbuster store, which is how I learned English, because I was just watching films. So I think it's kind of like how how many people in the Bible were planted in the environment where their calling would take place. It that's how it felt with me as well. Like now looking back, I'm like, how did you not get your purpose and calling earlier? Because like your assignment was clear as day. It's like you're literally surrounded by everything that you're doing now. Exactly. But it's so easy to kind of be blinded by by the things around us. Sometimes we're so close to something that we don't actually see what it is. Yeah. And we have to kind of step back and be like, wait, yeah, what's in front of me? Um, but for me, I was I was the same. It was, I think it was just after the pandemic. Um before the pandemic, actually, prior, I had just gotten an opportunity to uh be a choreographer in France. Yeah. And it was a six-month contract. And the only reason where I got that job was because I was pretty broke. And I really wanted to go to dance classes because I used to be a backup dancer back in the day. Um, and it was still a hobby. And I went to a few editions because I realized classes are like £10, but additions are free. And I was like, if I just go to these editions, not caring about if I get the job or not, I'll get free dance classes. So I went to one where you had to like sing two songs, you had to perform something, but then it was like loads of different choreographies that you had to learn. I was like, it's free. I get feedback. Okay. I went and it was over 300 applicants. We were down to 100, we're then down to 20. And then they sat me in a chair and we were like, Yeah, we want to send you to France. And I was like, Wait, what? I didn't even look up what the job was. I was literally just there for the free dump class. No jokes. Have my head just like, yeah, we really love you. Hatchella, we love you. Here, like, let's, yeah, but we really want to send you. Like, okay, what's the job? Um, I then ended up quitting my job at the time, but then pandemic hit, France Closed Borders. So just as I was about to go, I was like, okay, well, clearly this wasn't God's plan. Um, but I'm like, how long? Because at the time I was working in a restaurant, um, as I did like kind of like film and and photography and stuff on the side. Um, and I was like, how long am I gonna do this? Cause I don't feel called to be a waitress. Um, I don't I feel like I'm getting drained and yada yada. And then I decided to go to Sweden just to visit my sister for three days. Turned into one and a half years where I was a teacher and assistant nurse, and up in the beginning I was quite depressed because like all those creative outlets that I would do um back home in London, I wasn't able to do there because I couldn't I didn't have my photography studio, I didn't have all, you know, all like my agent and everything, I couldn't have any clients in Sweden. Um so it did remove a lot of opportunity for me to to be there for God. And at first, like during the I guess depressive season, I was quite like drained from not being able to do the creative creative things that I like to do. But then after that whole journey, then going back to London, I was thankful because not only now did I have like uh savings, and I was still employed by the like the same restaurant while during those years. So there was like this furlough of shame. I don't know if people know about it. We thank God for that. Um so I was still employed because France shut down. So I was still employed technically by the restaurant. I was just stuck in Sweden and couldn't work. So I came back still being employed by that place, now had savings, now had skills that I wouldn't have gotten because now I had lots of patience for being an assistant nurse, lots of like business skills and presentation skills of working with um with kids and having presentations and being with teachers, yada yada yada. And I started, not know if this is relevant to anybody, but I started as a substitute teacher and then I got promoted to a real teacher. Um so I taught uh social sciences and humanities and I taught Swedish as a second language for year 11 and year nine. So up to there like 15 year olds. So I don't know, in UK the school system is slightly different in terms of years, but um had the younger kids as the substitute teacher and then I had the older kids as the um when I was into teaching. But yeah, got back, now had savings, and now I was like, okay, now what?

Dr. Zara 20:19

Yeah.

Host: Smilla 20:20

And I was very, very, very stubborn. Very stubborn. I was like, Really? Sure. I I think I don't know what got me to decide to fast, whether there was we I don't think we fasted with the church at a time, but I just think I something just made me want to fast and pray. Um and I did that with strong stubbornness. And I think I I think I fasted and prayed for a month. And it was solely just like, God, tell me what to do. What do you want me to do? On the last day, as I was putting a pan on the stove, God was like, Your purpose is this. And it kind of felt similar to kind of what you described when he pulled out a lot of memories from you, like it was already within you, balancer was already there. That's kind of how it felt, because it was some like it was like a shift where like I knew exactly what it was. Um, and it was to be aligned in the creative industry. And those lines when he said that to me, I feel like it would it was something that really made sense to me. Because I always thought that like your calling an assignment, like it's one thing, your assignment is one thing. You spend your life lifetime doing this one assignment when actually biblically we see that that's not true because many people in the Bible had multiple assignments, but that was just my view at the time. And I was so ready to give up like photography or like my acting or like all these different cause I did so many different things and I thought, oh like surely it's just one thing. Um and when he said like to be a light in creative industry, it made so much sense to me 'cause it explained like my who, who I'm I'm called to. Um But also that like I don't have to necessarily give up anything of them, but rather just adjust them to fit according to him. And the next thing he said was I needed to quit a job. I needed to open up a studio and I needed to trust that every month I'm gonna provide. And I was like, hmm, hold on, because I only fellas. I was just like, I was crying obviously at the same time because I was like overwhelmed by the Holy Spirit but the instructions. I was like, Lord, what about comments? Open up the studio. What about rents and all of that stuff? Because like the only reason why I even had the witching job at the time was so I could fund like what I felt called to do and all this creative outlets on the side. And now he's telling me you need to leave that. Leave what's comfortable, what's convenient, and what's holding you steady and trust in trust in him. And I took that leap of faith. And I think two reasons why it made maybe my situation slightly easier to do so was that two, I'd just come back from the pandemic with some savings from the nursing and from the teaching. And two, two years prior to me receiving my purpose, my flatmate had uh received from God for her to quit her job and to go into her calling of directing and acting full-time um and being a writer. And I remember when God told her that, and I was like, Oh thank God God did not tell me because I'm not ready. And I think also her walking boldly in that really helped me to walk boldly when when it was my turn. Yeah. And um in my head, I was like, oh, but if worst case scenario, I do have some savings. And I think God really knew that. So he definitely waited until those savings were no longer there. I think I was like, I don't know how many months in. Maybe like I don't even want to guess. I remember like I invested some of the studio which I opened and I started, as he said. But then I remember London Fashion Week came. So say I came back in like summertime. We were now in like around September.

Dr. Zara 24:16

Yeah.

Host: Smilla 24:17

Um, and I really wanted to go to London Fashion Week. And for those who don't know, like if you're not invited, tickets are like 500 pounds plus. There might even be more now because of inflation. Who knows? But back then it was like 500 pounds plus, and it was this one specific uh fashion I really wanted to go to. It was multiple different uh designers, it was um a very it was an icon performance, it was it was a lot, and I was like, I really want to go. But I was like, God, do you want me to go? He's like, Yeah, and I was like, You want me to spend all that money? And he's like, No. And I'm like, I was probably just being Dululu. So I left the conversation thinking, I was just talking to myself in my head. I then only with like 600 left in my account, um, I got a uh I landed a gig for a Disney Plus show. And so we performed for a couple of days um in Waterloo for this new series uh called Y the Last Man, I think it was called. Um and it only had one season. But after the last day, I slept at one of the actresses' house, and in the morning she comes in, she's like, Smilla, I have these two tickets to Lana Fashion Week. Do you want to go? And I'm like, What show is it? And it's the exact same show that I discussed with God, and it really reminded me of that verse like you don't understand now I'm doing, but later you'll understand. And on that show is where I met like my next uh client, and then on that job I met the next client and the next client, and that's kind of where it took off. And here we are, and I think we're almost like five, six years later, and I'm still standing, and it's literally every single month has been a testimony after testimony, but it really s started with like a surrendered, stubborn posture of being like ready to receive anything that he might say, and I think it's the same type of posture that you described on that bus, and I think that is maybe why some people are not hearing the reply because they don't have the posture of actually being available to like receive anything he might say, regardless if it's something you don't want to do or something you do want to do. I think both of us were ready to just like whatever, yeah. And I think that's that's the that's the posture that he wants and seeks for is like him above any of our desires that it's him first. Yeah. Um how would you describe like hearing God's voice for you? Like, how do you know that it's him and what is the sound? Because like for me, I would say it's like a thought that contrasts my own. Sometimes it will be like like a male type, like I don't know how to describe it, but it's like it's like I guess a voice in my head that's very very strong, yeah, and like silence everything else. Yeah, um yeah. I don't know. How would you describe here like what is hearing from God to you look like?

Dr. Zara 27:12

I think similarly, like I feel like I would want things that are a bit more comfortable and things that are easy, or just God, like you were saying earlier, like pushes us, and so um it would typically be a strong impression on my heart. Whether I'm reading his word, I get dreams as well of like what he's wanting me to do, but very strongly that I cannot like ignore it. Um and it's it's not aggressive, it's it's strong, but it's gentle at the same time. Yeah, um, and if I line that up with his word, then I know that that's like it goes in alignment to what his word says, and so I can trust it's exactly true. Um, and so that's mostly how I hear God is through that impression while I read his word, like things will stand out, and it's just a strong impression. Yeah, or oftentimes he will take me off on a tangent if someone's saying something, I might just pick up one thing from that and he's like leading me somewhere else to teach me something else.

Host: Smilla 28:12

Do you feel like you you mentioned earlier how you were given multiple assignments and you're still trying to figure out how they all kind of come together for your calling? What what would you say are some of those assignments? And did they come at the same time? Did it come sporadically?

Dr. Zara 28:29

Yeah. Um I think the again the one of the things is again stepping up to leadership with youth, and that was one of the assignments that God was teaching me, and part of that was like learning youth, um, because in teaching them about God's word, I get to hear about their lives and hear about their stories and see what God's doing in their lives. Um, and so it's I can see how that's um connected to my calling. When I moved to the UK about three, four years ago, God had asked me to buy a piano and to start learning it and um to kind of engage in worship in a very anonymous way. Um but he hadn't the the the instruction he gave me was get a piano, start learning, you're going to do worship in an anonymous way, and that was it. There was not really an understanding of what that meant for my calling, and it's something that I have just done out of obedience. I often say that I used to be a person that just needed to know the details, and she's very much like if you accidentally tell me something, I'll just take it and run with it and just do my own thing. Yeah. And I think um some of that waiting for his instruction is probably building the character that I need for that specific assignment. That's so good. Just waiting for that.

Host: Smilla 29:50

Yeah, I think even I remember like not that long ago, I was running.

Dr. Zara 29:57

I know the story.

Host: Smilla 30:00

And God was like, I need you, I need you to stop and talk to this woman. So, or not even stop, it was just like, I need you to tell this woman I love her or something. And then I I remember running past her and I was like, just let you know, like Jesus loves you. And I kept like running because I was on a run. And God was like on the way as I continued running. God was like, honey, I needed you to stop and help her with the bags of the start. I was like, oh. But at that point, I've already run around oh two. Um I think I'm also bad sometimes where we like we get some of the instructions, but we don't actually wait. If are you done, Lord? Yeah. Because like as we are talking now, like we will wait for like the kind of little silence before we will then assume and jump to the conclusion, like, okay, you finished speaking.

Dr. Zara 30:50

Yeah.

Host: Smilla 30:50

And I have the same kind of thing with God many times where I'm like, okay, well, it it's silence now, so he must be done. When actually sometimes he waits for you to complete the instructions for you to get to the next thing.

Dr. Zara 31:01

Exactly.

Host: Smilla 31:01

And um I I I think also like even during you know, during the pandemic, he was definitely building my character to be able to hold the the assignment that was was to come. Exactly. But yeah, we definitely don't have the full understanding, like even his like complete of of why he's putting certain things in its time. I think some parts is like us delaying delaying his his plan. Yeah. Um because we have a choice, it's free will to follow him or not. So I think we can delay uh blessings in his plan, but I think many times he also knows us in terms of like how much we delay working on our character and and and storting our gifts, like it will be a bit of a delay before things come to pass because like he's not gonna put you into into war if you don't have your sword and your shield, like it wouldn't make any sense. Yeah. Um so I think um everything has its its time. Yeah.

Recognising Your Season

Host: Smilla 31:57

In terms of like season of of just life, or even how you see like generationally what group stood out to you when we talked about in the last episode of like how like we had group A and group B and group C, and group A being the group that had um received their their c uh their calling but not received their assignment. And group B being the group that had received both but too scared to commit, and then group C being the group that hadn't received any of the calling or the assignments, and I are kind of in that place of just like waiting or don't know what to look for, or maybe not even being able to hear God. Was there any group that kind of stood out to you?

Dr. Zara 32:40

I think um I could fully see myself as group A in certain ways where I have received some of my godly assignments, but still feel like I'm still waiting either on instructions for the instructions with that, or feel like there are probably other assignments that are coming, and I just have to wait for that. But I think that even with all my assignments, I have felt like group B at some points where like I know what God's asked me to do, I know what the assignment is, and it just feels so overwhelming that I am afraid and I literally have to go back to God for strength and be like, I you need to give me the strength, and He does, He provides when He calls you.

Host: Smilla 33:18

So I think I don't know if I've been in all groups at some point, surely. I think I've I do feel like I felt like group C in that point where I was in the kitchen and just like praying and fasting, forgot to tell me what the purpose was because at that point, even though unconsciously I have an inkling, I relabeled that inkling as my own desires, and then thought that those desires might not be the Lord's desires for me, that might just be my own. And I was willing to put all of my desires down to follow him, and I think in a way that was me identifying as group C because I was like, I don't know what I'm doing, I don't know what you want me to do, what am I called for, who am I called for. Um, and then I think I then got to like um like when that line came of like you rely on the creative industry. That's kind of when I got to group A of being like I have my calling, I know who I'm called to, like the who of the industry and the people that um I'm called to um to share my testimony and to help their build their faith and come to Christ. Um but hadn't got the instructions and then the instructions came, and then it was just a little bit groupy, you know, when you you got both, now you just have to commit. He told you to quit your job, you know. Trust, trust, trust in God. And to be fair, I also want to say that like it wasn't an easy journey. I know I mentioned like how I'd seen my old flat mate um you know, do it and how I had some savings, but like even though he waited till to the last point, even with my savings, like it was still month after month. Like I had to walk in faith, and it was times where I walked up, so our pastor, and I was like, I'm thinking about selling my accomplishment because money was sure. We're out here living in our calling, and it's now it's financially prosperous, you know. Yeah, and I think it's definitely like a testament of the testimony many times where he's like maybe told me to do like my tax return early, and I avoided it. And I was like, no, no, no, God, I can't do that right now. I have to, I have to like, we have to pay rent, we have to do this. Little did I know that I would get tax return and like um money back, like lots of different, lots of different stuff. Like it's been such a testimony every single month where where God has like showed himself. Um even recently, I I didn't say that in the last episode why that episode was posted so late uh because I was abroad for almost a month. Um and that also I think just came from walking in obedience. Um I was kind of saying to the Lord, I was like, God, I know I'm walking in my purpose and in my calling, but it would be so much just you know, a little relief just to like move to Thailand and grow my own food and cuddle elephants and and and lions for the rest of my life. And three hours later I got a contract um to go to Thailand. To cuddle wild and um and then three days later I got another contract for Bali to cuddle elephants. So I think I think that was God's way of saying, like, you think that this will be your satisfaction or relief or like this comfortability that I guess I was kind of seeking for a little bit, because sometimes I think we have this longing to feel this like I'm here, like I've arrived, or like um and even during that journey, like I met so many people and got to share my testimony or um obviously got the lions and the elephants. Um but I think I definitely noticed like I wouldn't be able to enjoy any of that if I didn't have God. Like it was it was a big wake-up call and a nice like recharge. But once I got back, I was like, it wouldn't have meant anything. Yeah. If yeah. And I think many times we might have this whatever that looks for someone, if that's a career, when I get to this this title in my workplace, or when I get to like when I get my own house, or when I get married, or when I have my kids, or like whatever that looks for someone that first of all, it it it literally does not feed that void that we're trying to fill unless you're feeding it with with God. And two, if it's above your desire for God in the first place, you've made it an idol.

Dr. Zara 37:39

Yeah.

Host: Smilla 37:40

Like what would you think generationally uh in terms of like making things an idol, I guess, especially within like dating wise, is our focus misplaced? Would you say that most people are, especially I guess in the Christian culture, like do you think that we're very good at deciding if something is like above God or not? Because in my opinion, I I think I'm I'm around a lot of people where I feel they might be seeking

Is My Prayer Becoming an Idol?

Host: Smilla 38:09

praying for something to God, but actually unconsciously placing it above God, desire-wise.

Dr. Zara 38:16

I I think I agree with that. I feel like in the Christian community, maybe I don't know if as much in in the UK, um, but we get married really early, isn't it? And so I'm surrounded by lots of friends and family members, not my siblings, because I'm still waiting that are already married and are already in that life stage, and naturally it can sometimes feel like, oh wait, I should not not out of envy, but maybe sometimes just out of like if this is what this group of people are talking about, I should be talking about the same thing of um wanting to be married and so praying into that, but yeah, I do feel God very, very kindly reminding us that like it's Him above it all. A marriage is not something that's promised, for instance, to me specifically. Maybe other people received that promise, and so if I never get that experience on the side of heaven, like he's still enough, and and there's still work to be done. In Matthew 9, um, I think it's verse 37. Jesus is talking to the disciples, and he's speaking about how um the harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few, and he says, Therefore, pray to the Lord of the harvest that he may send laborers to his harvest. And I think when you talk about idols, and and in my life, I'm I've certainly probably made that an idol. Um, when when I think and I sit, and instead of concerning my things with like what does God want for my life outside or inside of marriage, whatever that looks like, then I'm saying, well, that harvest that you have, Lord, is not that important. Like this harvest of me being in a relationship with something is with someone is more important than whatever you have for me. And that's not the case, like they're both gifts, and and there is uh a call to us to stay awake and alert, like there is work to be done here on earth, and so it would be such a shame to finish this earth, like our time on earth, and go to be with our Lord, and He says, Oh, yeah, you're my son or my daughter, but you actually never really contributed to the kingdom because you're waiting for marriage. Like, how crazy would that be?

Host: Smilla 40:30

Yeah, oh for sure. Yeah, I think it's I think I found out very early, yeah, like the family ties to strongholds, because I think sometimes when a family member has made something an idol, yeah, it's very easily transferable. Yeah. And I think for in my family it's been money, it's been fame, and I think I was I guess fortunate enough to be able to tackle those things very early. But it's still I think temptation that come sometimes like came I think early, like when I was walking in purpose, especially in the industry that I'm in, where I'm like around all these like actors and and like very big people to now being able to be like talent management and actually like care for them, and it's been such a a humbling experience where now I'm more drawn to like taking care of them than to be them.

Dr. Zara 41:25

Wow.

Host: Smilla 41:25

Because I see such a need of like just the darkness that that's around this industry and around these people and what they have to tackle with and how it's shaped them like character-wise mentality, both good and bad, yeah. But have such more of a heart to like care for them than to like be them. Yeah. I don't know. In terms of assignments, like you have gotten yours like in different seasons, and like kind of just applied them and abided them.

Dr. Zara 41:55

Yeah.

Host: Smilla 41:56

Um I think for me, majority of the assignments came at the same time at first. Yeah. And then I started getting like separate ones, but I feel like the only separate, like the small ones, I don't even know if I would remember any that like I guess sticks out, but like this podcast, for example, because I feel like the assignment of like starting the studio, yeah walking about it. I feel like that was something I walked in, but then I don't feel like the next assignment has come until like this podcast came along, which was something that did I guess come a bit earlier. I just ignored it for so long.

Dr. Zara 42:28

Yeah.

Host: Smilla 42:28

And God had to keep sending multiple people to tell me to start it.

Dr. Zara 42:31

Yeah.

Host: Smilla 42:32

But it's similar to like the piano assignment that you had, where like I did not understand and still don't understand how this podcast like fits into like my calling necessarily. Because in my industry, I don't know if anyone's listening like know about Christian actors who are actually like Christian actors. Um it's very it's a lot of persecution for Christians in my industry. They do not like Christian because we have boundaries. There's certain things that we don't do, whether that is kissing on camera or like cussing, like certain scripts or stories that we would not get ourselves involved in because of spiritual warfare. Yeah it's it's a lot of um I guess judgments that people feel because most of the people in my industry will be having a lifestyle that's very opposite to what Christ has laid down before us. And um also my industry knows that Jesus exists. Like very much so. Yeah. But they also know Satan exists. They just count on everybody else to know that. And Shaina said that very well, she's an actress as well. And it's I've seen that before me and I said she described how she was seeing people putting in satanic symbols on sets and stuff, um, expecting nobody else to see, and nobody on the screen would necessarily see them. But it's just to make the films more successful and yada yada. And I've seen that too, like there'll be directors and producers going into rooms doing satanic chants to make the film more successful or Just be wearing things on set um to I guess like do rituals and stuff, whether that's in their secret place or together. It's like it's very evident that like it's Christ and Satan and like it's a it's a very Babylonian rituals, paganistic stuff that still goes on to this day. And I think that's why it needs light. And I remember when I told my mom that I wanted to pursue this. This was when I was younger before I even knew that this was my calling or anything. And she sat me down with multiple women saying how like this is sat this is satanic work, like you should not be doing this. And one of the women was like an ex-actor who had like broken her leg so she could no longer perform.

Dr. Zara 44:43

Yeah.

Host: Smilla 44:43

And she was saying to me, like, Jesus broke my leg and what's to that. And I kind of responded in a way where like I don't think it Jesus has the same plan for everybody. And whether he wanted to use you now to like you evangelize and you pastor, that might be his plan for you. But for me, I feel like is to be aligned in this industry. And this was before even God told me to be aligned in the industry. Little did I know that I would literally like it's so silly. I should have known in that kitchen that they like you literally told yourself that this was what you're doing years ago, and now you're asking God to save for you. But I think even to this day, I think sometimes we will have people around us that'll be telling us like this is not a good idea, or um, I don't know if you should do this. Um, and I think a lot of creatives might hear because jobs like yourself like are very respected in our culture, like being a nurse and being a loreing and being, you know, like my dad wanted me to be an architect. I think sometimes we only get told like the feedback based on their opinions, yeah, and what the economic state or or worldview looks like, and not actually them like taking time to pray about it. What does God say about this? And I think it's important for people to, I guess, um evaluate like who they are around, who's speaking into their life, and is their opinions of like where you feel called to, whether you were in group A, B or C. I think especially if you're in group B or A, like when you've like kind of feel drawn to like you you feel like you know you're calling or assignment, but you either have people standing in the way saying that I don't know if this is a good idea. Like if I I if I said any like anything about the whole kitchen conversation with me and God to anyone else, I think people would have thought it was nuts. Like you quit your job, like what are you gonna what's your income gonna be? Exactly. And I think even my dad was like, So what were you gonna what are you gonna earn? I'm like, I don't know yet. It's uh what we shall see. And I think that's literally sometimes with God, it's like Abraham, like go up and walk. He didn't know where you still go up and walk, yeah. And um I think although we don't have his conversation with his wife recorded, if he even was one, sh and obviously in that time like you submit to your husband, like he was very but I'm very curious. I'll add her to my list. I have a list, guys, of people I want to talk to when I get to heaven. She'll be on the next after Onan. Um about like what her process was when they were just told to go, and especially like who knows, God might have spoken to her too, but like I think it's interesting to like know whether it was a bit of fear there, whether she was like kind of like Job's wife, where it was like kind of rejecting the idea of what God had told them to do, or whether it was encouraging and like I trust you fully. You know? Yeah.

Support System Mindset

Host: Smilla 47:46

Do you feel like you've always had like a supportive circle around you, or do you feel like you have like when it comes to like going after your calling and assignment, has there been people that could have possibly been shutting your journey down a little bit? Yeah, absolutely.

Dr. Zara 48:04

Um in school I wasn't very good at certain subjects, and so I had a teacher that just made it her mission to tell me how I was never because she realized that I wanted to be a doctor and made it her mission to let me know that she didn't think this was something that I could do, and this was someone I respected as well. So it was very it could have discouraged me. Um, and every day I would come to school, she would remind me of like, you know, you need to stop doing this subject, so you need to switch and go to the arts and do something in the arts because if you don't do science, you can't do anything else in science, you can just go to arts. That that was her process. That's so interesting. Usually it's the opposite. That was her process, and she was like, Yeah, she doesn't know that I'm not good either. Let's go. And like I think that if I did not have the parents that I did, um I would because it almost felt like bullying, I would probably have been like, you know what, I cannot come every day and be told what I cannot do. Like, I'll just try the arts and see. Um, and I knew that I couldn't go home to my parents and be like, Well, yeah, switch subjects because my teacher doesn't think I'll be a doctor. They'd be like, Are you crazy? Who said that? Um, but uh I I my parents growing up very much got us into the habit of applying to things that we weren't equipped for. It would just apply to crazy things, and the the underlying message behind it is like, why not you? Like, why can't you be the one that they choose to do this job? Why can't you be the one that they so that's kind of how I've grown up and and very grateful for that support of like would do anything. It was one of a point when I went for my initial medical exams. So in in Nigeria where I'm from, you when you finish secondary school, you get to choose two different courses that you can do. Um and then you do the exams for both of them. And so I'd put medicine as my first choice, but put engineering as my second choice. And went into the medical exams, and it was just such a chaotic day that my dad was like, you know what? You already received an offer for engineering. If you decide you don't want to do this anymore, we can just leave this. This is crazy. Um, and just started weeping because I I knew that I knew that that's what God had called me to do, and so had that. But yeah, I feel like I've had really good family support that that's helped to combat like everybody else telling me what I can't do and what I can't do.

Host: Smilla 50:34

I think obviously as part two, like I wanted to continue the conversation from the other episode. And I I think especially pouring in to those groups, like depending on whichever person where they are.

Groups A,B,C

Host: Smilla 50:49

Like I was saying, like how I've been in every single group at some point, and I know many people that are in group C and I know some that are um in group B, like they have both, but they're just scared to commit.

Dr. Zara 51:04

Even just hearing you talk about how you were group C, where initially I hadn't thought that I'd spent any time in group C. Um, I could see myself in that group as well, in that room in this conference where everyone else knew what God had called them to, and I just didn't know. Um, but I often spend some time in group B as well. I feel that there are a lot of things that God has asked of me that feel a lot heavier than I can hold. Um, and perhaps that's the point is that in our weaknesses that He's made strong on our behalf. Yeah. Um and an encouragement is just in my life, just looking back on all the things that and a big thing for me has been actual physical strength. Like my work is it takes up a lot of my time, so not even feeling like I have time for things. Um it's been a temptation to say no in the past when God has asked me, but I found that when I've said yes, that he has given me physical strength and he has expanded my capacity to hold different things at the same time, yeah. Um, and whether that's even giving me wisdom with how I manage my time, like these are all things that he's teaching me and growing me and helping me in in doing his will. He doesn't just come and send me and say, Oh, this is the assignment I have for you now. Go off, like go and do it. Yeah, no, he is walking with me step by step, holding my hand, providing me with all the tools that I need, even if it's as silly as me being like, God, I'm so exhausted, I can't do this. Yeah. I wake up and I'm screaming down the whole house with like the strength that he's given me. Yeah, like he really truly provides um for everything that he's called us to do.

Host: Smilla 52:50

I think it's a very common posture. Like, um, I've done

Saying No To God

Host: Smilla 52:55

it myself, or we might be given an assignment, but we make excuses by not to do it. Yeah. Because excuses sounds better than saying no to God. Yeah. Because then it's a reason why we're saying no to God. Let's just cut the excuse and let's let's be real here on it. You don't want to do it. And I think I remember saying you do the analogy earlier about like the rubber band, like you have to be stretched for the rubber band to propel and to like to fly away. And I think sometimes if if we're praying to get to that other side of that job or career or calling, whatever it is, like God has to stretch you to be able to do that and to be able to hold what's what's ahead. Exactly. And I think we don't even know our capacity, like you sometimes if I when I was younger and I would be playing with those like hairbands or like rubber bands, like you couldn't really predict when it would snap. Yeah, and I think it's the same time with us. We think that we know our capacity, yeah. We think that we know like that's why we can make excuses to God because like we know ourselves, like I know I can't handle this, Lord. Yeah, you're gonna have to give to someone else, or you're gonna have to do something different. And actually, like, girl, he made you, yeah. He knows your capacity, and sometimes most of the time in those assignments when we have an excuse that we're too exhausted, or whichever it is, is when we find out that actually we're not, or we grow that's when we grow and get the tools we need to actually execute it properly. Exactly. Like suddenly we add more, but we actually have more energy. Yeah. And I think that's also him giving you the tools to be able to do what he's called you to do. And I think sometimes we forget to trust in that that when he gives an ac an assignment, we look at our situation now and that of the situation that might be when we're actually walking in what he's called us to walk in.

Dr. Zara 54:40

Yeah.

Host: Smilla 54:40

Because those those are two different situations. Exactly. I think it's it's very important to like to know that his why and why he's doing certain things is beyond beyond our logic. And many times we don't need to know why. And we don't need to know when. I think we need to constantly pray, constantly be ready and steward our readiness. Yeah. Meaning like evaluate whatever strongholds or whatever areas in your life that you might need to get rid of so that you can surrender yourself with the Lord and be ready when he calls you. But if he does call you, and like your assignment of piano, my assignment of this podcast, which contradicts like the industry I'm in,

Obedience > Full Understanding

Host: Smilla 55:19

even though it doesn't make sense, sometimes we don't need to know like why it makes sense or not make sense. Yeah. Sometimes we just need to abide. Yeah. I can't remember when this conversation happened with that boy that I told you about earlier. I think it was in school, and I don't know if he came up with it or if someone told him about it, but he was a puzzler. He loved his puzzles, had so many puzzles, yeah, and it came to a point where either he got bored or he got the idea from someone to basically flip the puzzle upside down and put together the puzzle without knowing the full picture.

Dr. Zara 55:54

Yeah.

Host: Smilla 55:55

And he could kind of start by seeing which puzzle pieces were shaped, like the corner pieces. He would put the corner pieces to one side, and he could obviously see which corners like shape the right side, left side, etc. And he managed to put together and his rule, he was very committed to not see the picture, to not flip them or anything, not see the colors. And he managed to put the puzzle together and then he would flip it in the end when all the puzzle pieces were together. And I think that's sometimes our walk with Jesus. It's like we won't know what the picture looked like if we're walking the right direction, but we are following the instructions. What puzzle piece does he give to us? What puzzle piece does he want us to connect to one another? And then when the day comes, he comes back. I think that's when we will see the full picture of like why all those puzzle pieces needed to be gathered in that way, in that order. Um and we have to not maybe long for that seeing the picture first. Because many of us want to see the pictures before we start puzzling.

Dr. Zara 57:00

Me.

Host: Smilla 57:01

Yeah. No, me as well. Like I think we want to know how, but when, but who but actually sometimes we just need to take the step and just like trust like if he did it for Abraham, Moses, and everyone in the Bible, he's gonna do it for you. Yeah.

Feeling Unqualified

Host: Smilla 57:14

You said something earlier regarding like Tana uh doubts, the tools that you have in the moments, like with assignments.

Dr. Zara 57:23

I mean, there's so many ways that I feel underqualified, even in my actual job, like even in the thing that I have trained for. Um, you're just faced with excellence all the time, and that that just subconsciously sometimes you then go, Oh, I should be more excellent, I should be better at this. Um, and very early on, um, in the past, when I used to deal with anxiety as a result of this perfectionism, and everything needs to be perfect, I need to be 100% everything. Yeah, God was showing me or telling He very clearly said, I've not called you to be perfect, I've called you to be obedient, and that obedience is better than sacrifice. It literally is that um if in all the ways that I have felt so underqualified that God is more than able to do exceedingly abundantly above anything that I can ever ask him for. Yeah, um, and as long as I bring my weaknesses to him, it's okay. Um, because he he is the one that has the vested interest in everything that he asks of us. He like he doesn't need us, but like yeah, but he absolutely doesn't need me. A weak vessel, but like um he gets the glory when we obey him, and so I can trust that I have a God that's big enough not only to assign me things, but that he can provide me with everything that I need, yeah, and that he can hold all my fears and worries and he can make his strength cover me.

Host: Smilla 58:54

Yeah, um, yeah. And I think it's a big encouragement. Whatever group that you're in, whoever's listening, like I think don't don't doubt that that season is gonna stay. If you're in group C and you're still trying to figure out what calling in a Simon even is and like learning to hear from God, seek him. Like the deeper you're rooted in Christ, the more of Christ you'll get. Exactly. Um I think it's the same with like um like group A. If you know your who but you're still trying to waiting on your instructions, whether that is God working on your character to be able to hold what he's about to give you, or whether you're doubting uh your capability to walk in it. I think like I I remember mentioning Moses and his stick and like the wonders that he did with that thing.

Dr. Zara 59:42

Yeah.

Host: Smilla 59:42

I think we we can't doubt whatever tool that that God is giving you if he says go, go.

Dr. Zara 59:48

Yeah.

Host: Smilla 59:48

And I think again, same advice as I gave to like group C is like just be rooted in Christ.

Dr. Zara 59:54

Yeah.

Host: Smilla 59:54

Like generally and speak to him like often and have like share time and practice hearing his voice and practice hearing your discernment, just as Eli did. Like I think it's important to um to steward like our capability to be able to communicate with God. Because the stronger that line is, the stronger you'll be able to hear him, and the easier you'll hear him, the I think the easier you'll feel in just walking in certainty. Not that that's something we should strive for, because like he doesn't want us to walk in certainty because then he doesn't require faith. The whole point of faith is to like walk even though it feels a bit shaky. In terms of dating, in the last episode we spoke a little bit about how Genesis um speaks about giving Adam um a calling before and an assignment before he even got Eve. Was is this something that you've kind of already clocked and applied to your life, or do you think that in your courting life or in your walk when it comes to dating, is that something that you kind of disregard and you think solely about their relationship with Jesus?

Dr. Zara 1:01:07

The first idea, because I my f my parents' story, I don't know if I've I think I've told you this story before, but essentially God had revealed to my dad that he was going to marry my mum. That was the person that he had for her, for him. And then my father, being a very intense man, like was like, good, I'm going to pursue her. And so he like got on it. Um, and my mom, who initially did not realize this, because my dad didn't say to her, God told me you're going to be my wife, he just pursued her. Um, God then revealed to my mom that my father was going to be um her husband, and I think that it's a beautiful story, but it's it kind of warped my idea of what um partnership would look like, and so I always felt like there was like God's really intentional, and so even in this area of my life, there would be one specific person that he will bring to my life, and that is my husband.

Biblical Dating

Dr. Zara 1:02:02

Um, and it wasn't un until like a few years ago where I was in a group and we were just discussing marriage and and dating and courtship and and everything, and um we were trying to decide do you guys believe that there is the one, or do you believe that there are many people that God would give us the permission to get married to? And of course, I was like, I have this testimony of my parents, I believe that there is the one. And the first time I'd ever heard anyone talk about marriage with regards to purpose was at that point where um one of my best friends at the time he was talking about how he's just like his personality-wise, he's just a very quiet person. So he just sat listening and then comes up with the wisdom that he always does, and then he just said, 'Oh, I think that marriage is not really for us,' and so it it must be that we have to choose people that help us to glorify him. And he didn't use the word purpose, but that was the underlying story behind it. Yeah, and so I'd never heard that, and I was like, I can get behind that. When people would tell me, like, what if your person died? I was like, My God is good, my person will not die. He's sovereign. But that was the first time I was like, This is an argument I can get behind because this makes biblical sense, yeah. Um, and and because I had not been actively dating, it would be something I would think about as a group or in a group setting, yeah, and maybe sometimes think about by myself. But it was only recently when you you mentioned about Adam and Eve even before the podcast, and I was like, I'd never actually clocked that he didn't get his assignment before that, yeah. Um, and that's that's that's so incredible, and it is um just an encouragement from God, right? That we we are giving free will, yes, that's great. Um, but are we freely choosing people that are not the right people for us, whether or not they're Christian? Um and it's something that I will definitely be considering when the time comes. Um, but yeah, it's really important that the person that I'm going to be with is someone whose calling aligns with mine so that we can actually help each other as God had intended.

Host: Smilla 1:04:09

Yeah. I think even this morning when I was rereading that Genesis passage in Genesis 2, I believe.

Dr. Zara 1:04:18

Yeah.

Host: Smilla 1:04:19

Um, even when the Lord said in verse 18, it's not good for a man to be alone, I will make a helper suitable for him. Yeah, you would assume that the next verse, even how I remembered it, is when he created Eve. Yeah. He didn't. The next No, but like in verse 19 it continues, now the Lord God has formed out from the ground all the wild animals. So he continues with the assignment and the calling.

Dr. Zara 1:04:45

Yeah.

Host: Smilla 1:04:45

So it goes to say, it's not good for you to be alone. I'll make a suitable helper. But then it goes to give him an assignment and calling. So you would have thought that if it's not good for him, it's an urgency. Yeah. And it's an urgency for that suitable helper, but that didn't come after the calling assignment. So I feel like the order of how God, our perfect God, like solves the situation. Yeah. I think we don't reflect on that enough because we think like, oh my god, it's not good for mental. Therefore, Eve. But Edith didn't come. Like she didn't come until verse. Until deep sleeper into deep sleep. He's still in a way. Yeah, exactly. 20. I think verse 20. No, 21. Yeah. So he tells in verse 18, it's not suitable for him to be low. Wow. So verse 19, he gives him a job and a in a task. And then he gets the suitable helper. So I feel like that's the order of that. Yeah. I don't feel like we sometimes apply we have such an urgency to like find a helper, especially if you know what group you're in. Like, especially if you're already walking and you have the understanding of the language that we're using of assignment and calling. Yeah. And you're already walking in that. Yeah.

Dr. Zara 1:05:59

I don't know.

Host: Smilla 1:06:00

I think uh some people will disregard I guess the the way that the marriage was built and made and what it was made for. I think sometimes, especially as a church, we are very good at following what other Christians are doing and what other churches are doing um instead of what the Bible is actually saying.

Dr. Zara 1:06:22

Mm-hmm.

Host: Smilla 1:06:23

And I've made that mistake plenty of times as well, where it's like you learn from who you are around and I think especially churches from small things like I bring up sometimes so like churches always giving out like sweets and bakery and a lot of things, but then the Bible tells us to care for our godly temple, our bodies. Or um I don't know, I guess it goes from different areas to like dating life and and marriage, but what I'm trying to say is whatever values that you have and boundaries that you've made in different areas where there's dating life, your finances, in in your work with Christ, are those based on the Bible or are those based on what you've been seeing around you? Yeah, that's so good.

Dr. Zara 1:07:07

And that happens when we don't go back to the person that's made us and say, Oh, what is your purpose? Like you were saying in the beginning about purpose. Like we need to keep going back to our creator and being like, Why have you created it? What is the purpose for marriage, for instance? Yeah, what is the purpose for this? Like we have the Holy Spirit available to us, so there is not an excuse in the world to just blindly follow. Yeah, um, God has given us all of Himself, including His presence. Yeah, and what a beautiful thing that is, is that we can pray to our God and be like, Lord, I actually know that this is what I see around me, but you can speak to me directly. What have you said about this thing? This word is full of all sorts of examples, isn't it?

Host: Smilla 1:07:52

Do you think there's a fear of people hearing him? Because I feel like most people in that situation scenario where you like when you like you said, you can just go back to the Lord and hear him, but many people can't hear him. Yeah. So what do you think? Because then I'm I'm assuming this may jump into the conclusion that it might be a group of people that like are in that scenario and then they go back to like a leader or someone because they know that they can hear God instead of actually trying to learn to hear God themselves, or they may just avoid it because they like afraid of what he'll say. Yeah, yeah.

Dr. Zara 1:08:30

I used to be the person that would rely. So I grew up in a Christian home, and subconsciously, when you know someone's always praying for you, what's the point? Pray is hard. Why would I pray? My mom wakes up at three and prays over the house and anoints every single door. Covered, I can concern myself with other things, and so um I subconsciously lived like that, not really like not actually obviously knowing that that's what I was doing. And I moved to university where I physically moved out of my parents' house, and the very one of the very first things that God spoke to me was like, I don't want to just be the God of your father and your mother, I want to be your God. Like, I want you to know me as your personal God. I do not have grandchildren, and um, and that was just an encouragement for me that, like, of course, I'd been around his presence, but I don't know that I fully knew him, and that's a shame. Yeah, um, and was encouraging of like then he started teaching me how to read the Bible, and then he started teaching me how to sit in his presence and listen. Um, so God is not a mean God. The Bible says that if you seek for me with all your heart, you will find me. That is a promise that he gives us, and even when we don't know how to, it says when we don't when we lack wisdom, we can ask of a God that gives so freely wisdom. If I come to him and I say, Lord, I've been trying to hear your word and I like your voice, and I can't hear you, like, can you please speak? He will like he will find a way to reach you. That is the history that we have with him from time beginning. God comes and he reaches out to us um wherever we are at, and so I know that it's a promise that he'll fulfill. And on the on the flip end of like being the one that's just afraid of what God will say, because like if I ask him and then he tells me to marry this person that I don't want to marry, I have to do it. Yikes, yikes, um, but I think the verse that comes to mind, there's a verse where God um speaks about how it says, not a good thing does he withhold from the righteous. God does not withhold any good things from the righteous, so we can trust that whatever he has for us will glorify him, but will be good for us. Um, and that's just an encouragement. I've had so many testimonies of people being like, Oh, I don't want to do this thing that God told me to do, or a family um friend that said, Um, they're not a family friend, sorry, they're friends. Not my family, no, not my family friends. They were talking about how like they knew that God had called them to come and evangelize in other countries. I just remembered, not me landing on camera to come and evangelize them. They were like, Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're so happy to go out to the nations for you. Lord, anywhere but India, guess where God sent them to India? All their children, if not all, maybe all but one were born in India. Like, and the testimony of them now have spent decades in India and they've come back. And the testimony that they have of that was like, we cannot imagine a world where God did not send us to India. Yeah, is that like just encourage, just look at the history you have with him. He has never been mean, he's never been bad for you. So why will he start now?

Host: Smilla 1:12:01

That's very similar to like me with London. I could never see myself living in London. What do you mean? What do you mean, London? So when I before I moved here, I've lived here for about 10 years now. But before I lived, I grew up in Sweden. Yeah, um, but I was drawn to America, yeah. LA. Like most Christians, like I feel cold to to move to Los Angeles. I was one of them. I yeah, past that season now, thank God. But um, but because of the visa situation situation, and I felt like obviously I was drawn towards like the arts and stuff. Yeah, um, my mom out of the blue was like, Why don't you move to to London? Yeah. And I was like, What?

Dr. Zara 1:12:42

Yeah.

Host: Smilla 1:12:43

And once like I made some additions, uh, got into some courses and and yada yada, and now I had packed my bags and like I was moving to to England, London. She was like, I've never said that. What do you mean? Where are you going? What? And it was I think God spoke through her. Like now and now I can't imagine being in America. What I used to live in Florida Fort Myers, but now I can't I can't imagine now, especially little did I know that the whole Hollywood industry would move here because of the financial state and all the strikes and everything that would happen. And and I think living here as well, it's been such a problem solver to what could have been. Yeah. Um, so I definitely sometimes I don't think that God will let you do something that you absolutely like hate unless you completely surrender to it. Because I know one woman that was she was called to like start her business and she she like started walking in that assignment, started her business, but then God told her to um to quit and go back to her um like old job, which was like uh I don't know what it's called when you like put prices on products on shelves, like Sainsbury used to like get a shop. Um and to her, obviously that was downgrading and going backwards, but she realized during that journey that she had been idolizing where God had placed her to the point where she forgot almost her relationship with God. So she then spent years by choice, even though she then had the opportunity to go back, but she chose to stay in that shop because he kept her humble and she was working on her character. Yeah, and I think many of us will like God will work in our character with us being like subconscious, like we will just be the Lulu and God will mean meanwhile, like work on our character. Whereas she was like conscious that she was choosing to work on her own character, and then she then started a business and it like flourished and but she was able to do it tighter with God.

Dr. Zara 1:14:38

Wow.

Host: Smilla 1:14:38

And I think it was such a cool testimony because we hear so many success stories when you come from like the shop to the career.

Dr. Zara 1:14:46

Exactly.

Host: Smilla 1:14:46

But then we many times forget maybe that like actually you know, if if God was there before and thereafter, yeah, you need to still have that same walk with him. Exactly. And I think when we are then losing our walk, it will be consequences, and whether that is like we read like Solomon and and Samson's wisest and strongest men in the Bible that we're both fallen by lust, like regardless if they they both had God in their life, like it will be consequences, but I think sometimes in life we have to kind of reflect on I guess the situations, or not situations, but like the seasons that we enter into. Are we entering it with God tighter or further away? Yeah. I think sometimes we just think of like we're with God and that's it. But I think sometimes we need to think about what's it called, not distance, but like space. Same thing as distance. Yeah, I'm thinking of a word, I can't figure it out. Yeah, but basically, like, are are we tighter? I think the goal should be like each season you enter into should be tighter with God, is what I'm trying to say. Yeah. Rather than being the same. Because if you're in the same, you're never growing, and if you're never growing, that to me is avoiding God's design, because God's design is to grow exactly constantly. Hopefully, this was helpful to some of you. Um we didn't really like plan as much, but um it was interesting to continue the conversation. I could continue this for ages, as you know. I think it's a lot of of good little beans and bobs in here of of things that we all as Christians in our walk with Christ like reflect on when it comes to marriage and purpose. But I think I think something that I don't hear much preaching on is like you're calling an assignment and actually breaking that down, and especially how it biblically explains it intertwining with marriage. I haven't heard anyone broke it down, so that was a big revelation for me when God spoke that to me. But um, yeah, any um reflections, the rhythm you want to give the people.

Dr. Zara 1:16:52

Um God is good and He is for us and yeah, we just obey Him and He will take us where we need to go.

Host: Smilla 1:17:02

Um I really wanna want us to pray for for those groups. Um and I think for yeah, I think just depending what season they're in, but specifically group A and group B and group C when it comes to to calling an assignment. Um so if I pay for group Do you want to pray for all of them? Yeah. Yes, yes on the show. Absolutely. I'll um I'll do a little popcorn prayer. I'll I'll pop in after you, but but yeah, if you can pray for group A, B, and C.

Dr. Zara 1:17:40

Heavenly Father, I just thank you so much for all that you are. I thank you for your goodness. I thank you for your mercies. I thank you that you are such a good God that um has such a good plan and a hope and a future for your people. I thank you that not only do we get to enjoy being sons and daughters, that we also enjoy partnering with you in everything that you ask of us and call us to do. Um so Lord, I just again thank you so much for the wisdom that you speak through Smilla through this podcast um and and just how you are using this to touch my life personally. Um I just pray, Lord, right now that for every single person listening, for instance, if they're in group A, Lord Jesus, I pray that they that you'd give them patience and as you build character. Lord, I pray that they would know that this is not a wasted season, that there is nothing that is wasted with you, that you use it all for your glory. Um, I pray that you continue to encourage them as they wait for the prim the green light to go. Um that that this is important work too, just as you prepare Jesus to walk in his ministry, just as you prepare David to be king, that there is a season where you are anonymous and it's quiet, but that does not negate the the strength of it. Um I pray that you continue to equip them in their godly assignments and in their callings, um, so that when when when they get the green light, that that the character that is just yielded from that that fruit that is yielded will will just be able to hold everything that you have for them. I pray for group B, Lord Jesus, um and the people these people that um have received the assignments, have received the calling, and just are doubting or are fearful. Um I pray, Lord, that they will just feel encouraged um and know um that you are with them. You said you will never leave them or forsake them or us. I put myself in this group as well. Um, you'll never leave us or forsake us, and we can trust you. We have history with you. You're a God that has always come through. Um, this is there's nothing new under the sun, there's nothing that surprises you, Lord. And so I pray that in the moments that feel really intense and um where doubts and fears and anxiety threatens to take away the vision that you have given, Lord. I pray that you'd just be this still small voice reminding them, like, son, daughter, you can turn to me, Lord. I pray that they would remember that they can rely on you, they can look to you, who is the author and the finisher of their faith, as your word says, Lord, that you you hold it all together and you have it all for them, and that you have the tools available, you have the strength, um, you have the courage, everything that you've not given us a spirit of fear, but of love, of power, of sound mind. And so I just proclaim that over group B, that um that they just be reminded to turn to you and to rely on your strength um in our weaknesses, in their weaknesses. And I just pray for group C. Lord, uh people that feel even if they've been walking with you, they feel like they don't hear you, they they've never received a calling because they they don't they don't know who you are um or hear what you you're asking of them. Lord, I know that your Holy Spirit speaks. So I thank you first of all for your Holy Spirit that lives with us. Your physical presence is manifest here on earth with us. What a gift that is, and so I just pray, Lord, that you give group C a desire, an increased hunger to see you more clearly, to hear you more clearly, Lord. I pray for a break off of the scales of our eyes, Lord. I pray, Lord, that you open our hearts to hear you, to understand you, you soften our hearts to receive the things that you ask of us. Um I pray, Lord, that there just be such an awareness of your presence, your tangible presence with them. Lord, I pray that as your word says, as they seek you, they will find you, Lord. Give them the strength, give them the grace to seek you with all their heart, withstanding nothing else, withholding nothing, um, that they would just run and and seek you so persistently until they find you, that you are there, you are never absent. Um, and I pray, Lord, that that um yeah, that when they find you, that they just be so excited um to do your will, to do everything that you are asking of them. Um yeah, we just bless you. I thank you so much for your goodness.

Host: Smilla 1:22:23

Lord, I just thank you for for just speaking to us today, Father. I just pray for whoever's on the other line of this, whether this is being sent to someone or re-watched by someone, Father. I just pray that you just give their individual revelation to them, Father. I just pray that you just plant a seed in their hearts, regardless of a group or season that they're in, whether they lack courage to commit, or whether they are in a season where they're waiting for instructions, or whether they are waiting to hear you, Father. I just pray that the seed that you will plant will be a just a seed of surrendering, Father, of just opening up their themselves to fill more of themselves with you, Father. Um I pray that we get the courage to just draw closer to you, Father. Um, and just as in the Bible and in Exodus, when people have to cover up in your presence, Father, I pray that regardless of what's blocking us from you, that you'll be able to just reveal that for us, Father, so that we can just prepare our lives, our seasons to make a room for you, Father. Yes, Lord. In the name of Jesus, I pray. Amen. Amen. Thank you so much for coming on. Maybe first of many. Who knows? Who knows? Who knows what the Lord hopes? It's beyond our logic. But no, it's been such a pleasure of hearing your testimony and and yeah, just your obedience as well.

Dr. Zara 1:23:48

Like, I just have this sense that like generations, I know like I was saying that our generation is blessed, but I think generations to come, like, thank God for technology and the fact that we can store these things, but like these will be things that people will still from time to time will just like reflect on, and and that's like made possible because you said yeah.

Host: Smilla 1:24:10

Unless you know the trumpet comes.

Dr. Zara 1:24:12

Unless the trumpet comes, like like you always say.

Host: Smilla 1:24:15

Yeah, so I'm I'm that Dululu person, although I'm pretty sure um I'll be surprised if God doesn't come and collect us by 2030. I said it. 2030. Just the you have a bumper. Um just in the world. I'm just sending. I'm just sending it coming soon. All these people are building their bunkers.