She Said What She Said

Episode 3: Respect Isn’t Heavy Lifting

• She Said What She Said • Season 1 • Episode 3

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Ever walked into a room and felt the air change, like the silence just got loud on purpose? We unpack that moment and everything that follows for women in male-dominated fields: the double standards, the invisible labor of being “twice as prepared,” and the quiet discipline it takes to turn skepticism into respect. It’s a real, unvarnished look at how competence gets judged, how credit gets lost, and how identity can either shrink to fit a mold or expand to reset the room.

We trace the arc from stereotypes, what a “construction professional” is supposed to look like to the choice to show up fully, whether that’s steel-toe boots or manicured nails. Along the way, we dig into the difference between equality and sameness: equal pay and equal expectations are the baseline, while compromise is about context, not tradition. We talk mentorship that matches the current industry, practical strategies for claiming credit without apology, and the mindset shifts that keep you from internalizing other people’s ceilings.

Zooming out, we reframe what counts as construction. Automation can speed office workflows, but skilled trades still solve chaos in real time. We also call out the cost of silence for men, where old rules punish emotional honesty and stall communication. Healthier norms help everyone move faster and smarter.

We close with a listener challenge: whether you work in a male-dominated field or not, what’s your biggest struggle, and what profession would you choose knowing the barriers, and why? If this conversation resonates, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs a nudge to take up space, and leave a review so more people can find these stories. Your voice helps this room keep expanding.

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A Different Kind Of Story

SPEAKER_01

She said what she said.

SPEAKER_02

Welcome back to episode three. I'm Saha. And I'm Anish. And today's episode is gonna be a little bit different than what we have been doing in the last two episodes. It's just gonna be more a different story, Anish.

Walking Into The Quiet Room

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, it's it's still a story, it's still uh opinion from someone or experience. And um, we're just kinda going into a more delicate topic per se, not so gossipy, um, more like real and real life, I would say stuff that people need to hear, right? Yeah. Um, so our story today uh takes place on a site, and it is uh towards women working in uh male-dominated fields and what we experience uh by doing that. So um the first thing you learn when you work in a male-dominated job isn't the technical stuff, it's how loud silence can be when you walk into a room and everyone stops talking. Not because you did something wrong, just because you're new and also because you're a woman.

SPEAKER_02

I love that statement that I mean it's so powerful that not because you're new, it's because you're a woman. Because that's so true. You could literally I can be smarter than you, and if we walk into a room and it's me with and uh another man, they would always think the man is smarter, he knows better rather than me. Only if you're cooking or queening.

SPEAKER_01

That's when you take the win. I swear. Um, so you learn quickly that uh you'll be called brave for doing the same job a man is called qualified for. Damn. That your mistakes will be re remembered longer and your wins will be treated like happy accidents. Damn. So I guess, you know, even though I find that women tend to learn from their mistakes and always trying to be better and doing better the next time, as men are more like because they they don't get the same trouble or they don't get the finger pointed at them when they make that mistake. Exactly. They kind of don't learn from it, and it keeps happening and happening. Um, so it's one of those uh in the end of the day, if you're a woman in a male-dominated field, you're probably doing a hundred times better than the men alongside with you.

SPEAKER_02

Exactly. And just like she said that but when you do some one thing wrong, the next time they're like, Well, yeah, but like do you remember when you did this? So I just don't think I can trust you right now. So let's give it to this person for now. And it's so stupid because like you it was one mistake, let's move on.

SPEAKER_01

I learned from it. Exactly, let's move on. So you'll get asked, so are you what do you actually do here? Even though your name is on the plans, your signature is on the emails, and you're the one they're calling when things go sideways. Don't we love fixing mistakes for others and then not getting the credit for it?

Double Standards And Invisible Credit

SPEAKER_02

Um that happens more often than anybody thinks, I feel like.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, yeah, it does. I uh everyone above you will get the credits for it. That's just reality. You will be told you don't look like you work in a construction, technical engineering, you know, anything. Male loving it. Yeah. Which is funny because no one ever seems to know what that's supposed to look like anyway. Oh, get a girl. I mean, do I need to wear car heart and um like have my knees all like you know, my the pants all like washed out on my knees? Do I need to have boots and be covered in dirt?

SPEAKER_02

Like just because I look cleaner than you doesn't mean I do less than you.

SPEAKER_01

Thank you very much. I've been um I've been seeing this girl, she works on site, she's a welder. And in the beginning, when she started, she didn't do the her nails or anything like that. And I identify a lot um with her. One, I was always that type of person, but it was just who I was. And I work on the this on the office, so I technically doesn't matter if I have my nails done or not, doesn't matter if I have my hair done or not. But for her, it was the less feminine I look, the safer I am at a job site.

SPEAKER_02

That's crazy.

SPEAKER_01

Eventually she started doing her nails, and she was like, Nope, I'm not gonna stop being feminine because that doesn't affect my work and how good I am at it.

SPEAKER_02

Exactly. Because at the end of the day, you cannot keep ignoring the good work I do, like you can't keep ignoring it.

SPEAKER_01

And in the end of the day, a lot of girls can do everything, even with big ass nails. Absolutely, I totally agree. Okay, so I lost myself here. Um, okay, some days you feel like you have to be twice as prepared, three times as calm, and five times as patient just to be taken half as serious. Oh my god. Like, yeah, I'm I'm a firecracker, being calm is very hard for me. Let's be real. Um I'm I will I will yell if I feel like I'm not being taken serious.

SPEAKER_02

Because I feel like but like the defender is like a lot of times depending on who it is, what type of person you are, right? But a lot of people, a lot of girls, I should say, but don't yell because just it's not that because they're not mad enough, it's just because like that's not like they can't bring themselves to, right? Yeah. But and that's why I think it's so much easier for those people to not be taken as serious.

SPEAKER_01

Or people walking all over them. Exactly. Like I understand that right now a common comment in our culture and our society is women do not have enough feminine energy. And reality is a lot of women needed to step into the masculine energy to survive. We are being encouraged to study and to do something of ourselves and not depend on a man. And I agree with that. Like, yeah, we should, we should be able to support ourselves because look grandparents, for example, like reality is if my grandma didn't learn how to work for the money, my family would have not eaten. My grandpa died, my my grandma was in her 40s, she was very young. Yeah, so can you imagine?

SPEAKER_02

Exactly. That would have been like, especially with younger kids, if you didn't know anything about job and you were just staying at home, it's so much harder to start over. Not just to start over, but to start at anywhere, like to feed your family.

Twice As Prepared, Half As Serious

SPEAKER_01

Exactly, exactly. So I'm happy that society accepted the fact that women do need to work, women should study. Um, but I still like there's so much more that we can do. There will never be fully equality, and I agree, it's good that there's not. Like in the end of the day, men have qualities that we do not have and will never will have because of it's just how we were born.

SPEAKER_02

Like it's literally a man, a woman, it doesn't mean that one is stronger than the other. Exactly. Um it doesn't mean that everything has to be the same. Yes, because that's what I I've seen, I've I saw this video, and this somebody was saying that when we say that we want equality, we're not saying uh we want to be as strong as a man, we wanna like do this as like a man. No, same respect.

SPEAKER_01

That doesn't cost you nothing. Yes, and in the day, if we're doing the same job and I'm performing the same way as a man, same payment, same salary, same expectation. Exactly. I shouldn't receive less because your expectation of me is less when it shouldn't be. Exactly. You know, it's things like that, but then reality is I don't want to be equal, and then when it comes to carrying stuff, I need to carry as much as you. No, I can't. Physically, I can't. Exactly. So no, but then you want me to cook, you want me to clean, I will do that because you know, yeah, you carry three times all the boxes I did, you're more tired than I am. Yeah, I will clean.

SPEAKER_02

I will cook creating compromise. Exactly. It's all about compromise, right? The only difference is just don't expect it blindly. Like exactly. If but the difference is, right? If we're doing the same job, the exact same job, no heavy lifting, no thing, and we come home at the same time too, and you're like, So what's for dinner? Get the hell out of my face. Like, yeah, we can cook together. We can cook together. We came home together, we did the same way, we were both tired, so let's cook together. But like the expectation that it should is always like, oh, it's just woman should do it. I think that's what rubs me off. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01

So um, you know, there there's one thing that no one will warn you about uh when you start in a male-dominated field, um, and that's uh one day you stop shrinking, you stop explaining yourself, you stop apologizing for taking up space, and suddenly the room adjusts. Not because they gave you permission, but because you never needed it. You don't just belong there, you help redefine what there looks like. Well, I think that that that's like a beautiful ending.

SPEAKER_02

I love that. I just the way it was read in, it literally sounds like a poem.

Equality, Respect, And Compromise

SPEAKER_01

I know, and I you know what, like I am grateful for in the end of the day for the people that I have above me at work. Yeah, um they gave me the opportunity for me to be where I am.

SPEAKER_00

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01

Um and I feel valuable, you know, like when you have when a senior position, and that senior position is a man, and they listen to you, they care about what you say, and they see something in you, that gives you the validation. A lot of girls out there, they do not have that. Um and I think they also do not look for it per se. Like I I got into this, but I also went headstrong and I was looking for what I wanted to be, but not within the same sex. Because I know that for a woman to be where I want to be, yeah, they one would have experienced uh things a lot different than I was gonna experience now, and that probably would have sold me down. And so a man will somewhat experience it closer to what I'm experiencing because industry is changing, mentalities are changing, so it's not as hard. Um, so then it's like okay, their perspective will be still different, and it will help me grow, it will help me see what I need to see to get there without putting the fear or the stress behind my process.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, exactly. Like sure, there might be some different ways that you have different roads that every everyone gets to get where they want, and that's totally fine. There's nothing that says that everything has to be the same road to get where you want. Because I feel like a lot of me, I'll start with myself. I do stress a lot about the future. I don't know. I'm like, oh my god, what if this doesn't happen? What if that doesn't happen? What if I let this down, I let them down, you know? But the reality is like there's some things you just don't have any control over. Just work hard, yes, focus, yes, and it will get there.

SPEAKER_01

If it's what you want it, you will get it. And your pathway will be different than everyone else who gets the same place as you. Absolutely. The way you like we can go through the same experience and your understanding of it, your feelings will be completely different than mine, right? So we need to respect that, even like you know, I think a lot of like kids, and when you're grow up, like you're a big you uh you're a big family, right? Your parents will tell you, oh, you know, you grew up the same way your older brother grew up. Yeah. It's like technically, yes, technically not. The way your brothers experienced your parents was different. Your parents the way they the the person they were at the time that they were, you know, raising raising him, yeah. They were different people. Absolutely. So it's the same within anything in life. You will always experience a a different side of a person, even if you're experiencing and dealing with the same person.

SPEAKER_02

That's I totally agree with that. That's very true.

SPEAKER_01

So, uh Saha, are you going into a man-dominated field after you hear this? After you like hear my experiences, kind of see where they're all this at. Are you ready or like would you still want to go into a man-dominated field?

SPEAKER_02

I'll say it this, okay? Just like in the story when she was saying what does that even look like? What does that even mean? But I get it, right? I get I get it, but it's it's just the so stupid that this has become a thing. But where I'm going, I do think it is very male dominated. Especially oh, it's so male dominated.

SPEAKER_01

Everything is nowadays, like it's hard to find a job out there.

SPEAKER_02

That's what I mean. That's what I mean, right? I mean, like, everything is I'm a nurse.

SPEAKER_01

You want to be a nurse? Even nurse. No, that's still that's still a woman's. That's still uh a woman feels.

SPEAKER_02

And God for them. I mean, they're strong ass.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, but because you know what? That's one of those. It's like it started as a very woman-dominated, and you see more and more men going to nursing. And I would say, like, some of them, they're a hundred percent better than the woman. Like, you know, it's one of those. I'm like, we should not be judging or like making someone feel like they're out of place just because the role that that would when that was created was for one specific sex.

SPEAKER_02

Absolutely. Uh, because like let's say woman-dominated fields. If a man went there, when have you heard a story of um the man saying, Well, it just felt weird, I didn't felt like I fit in there, they treated me differently. They probably taught it.

Stop Shrinking And Own The Room

SPEAKER_01

Here's the thing. You walk there! Here's the thing. Like, you walk around and reality is women do complain out loud. Women will say what they actually think, it will kind of like start they they will start a movement. Men like look at mental health. Men are probably the the sex that suffers a lot more mental health than women. One, because they do not talk about their feelings and they do not express their thoughts, that builds up, and then once they reach a point when they do have mental health illness, they don't find help. So that's a that's an example. And who said that system up? Who said that? Because you cannot talk about it.

SPEAKER_02

Who said that system up?

SPEAKER_01

It's them, they make their life harder for themselves, they like true, but now it's it's on us to change that. One for like our future kids, um uh you know, like set up a standard and make sure everyone is within that open mentality and stop putting titles and subtitles and everything in society.

SPEAKER_02

I agree, I agree. I think we're in a generation that everything needs to have a meaning, has have a title, like you said.

SPEAKER_01

Except for relationships. Those ones still no titles, no commitments, um, but everything else it needs to be black and white, I guess. And it's man again, right?

SPEAKER_02

I'm not saying that.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, it goes both ways, actually.

SPEAKER_02

And I just wanna put out there that just because we're saying this, we're not saying like, oh my god, I hate man, and like all of them are the worst, and like all of that. Everyone has their bad and good, okay? Like, yeah, they're good men, they're good woman, they're bad woman, they're good bad man.

Mentors, Mindsets, And Different Paths

SPEAKER_01

The little once again, it's because we speak up. Um, I think if men actually started speaking up and saying what they actually feel, um, you would probably see that a lot of men go through the same things. And like again, I've met guys in construction that they do feel out of place, maybe because they do at some point have a little bit more or endorse a little bit more of their you know feminine side, not exactly like they're more feminine than masculine, it's just like we all have feelings, and feelings and thoughts tend to be more of feminine energy. Um, when they do embrace more of that, when they are more about like communication and you know, let's talk it out. A lot of old school men tend to see that as weakness. That's true. So it makes them feel out of place. That's true. And it's like, why are you making another fellow man feel out of place? Because he's trying to solve your issues, he's trying to help you work through something.

SPEAKER_02

Exactly. Like you're making it harder for yourself, babe. Like I'm saying, that's what I mean.

SPEAKER_01

Like communication, like another thing that we need to fix in male-dominated fields is communication. Please! Like, let's work on that, please. Yeah, no, there's a lot of things that I'm like, okay, there's so much work to be done out there. Um, but as of like where I stand right now and the feeling like the most difficult part of joining the industry is done and over with. I still feel like there's things I'm like, yeah, we can work on it.

SPEAKER_02

Like, and I just know if anyone can do it if it's your baby girl.

SPEAKER_01

I'm doing it, I'm I get involved, I I try to learn things. I like meeting other people within the same mentality, the same mindset as me, and trying to encourage women to join the trades and construction. And when I say construction, it doesn't mean you need to be on site. I'm not. Um, and I see like a lot of kids, they do not have the education they should. So when I say, Oh, do you want to join construction? They're thinking, No. And then I'm like, okay, what's your plan? Oh, I want to be an architect, I want to be a civil engineer, I want to be a structural engineer. And I'm like looking at them and like, that's construction. Like, yeah, you're not gonna be dirty all the time and working with your hands and doing the physical construction of the of buildings and infrastructures, but you are gonna be designing them and studying them and making them happen.

SPEAKER_02

That's true. Because I do believe that when it comes to construction, a lot of people quickly think it's the people that it's on hand that do the building, that do yeah.

SPEAKER_01

They're the main people, they're the ones that we should take care of and be there for them. One, because there's less and less labor out there, yeah, there's less and less young people that want to do the hard job, and um, without them, we cannot build like E uh AI AI can take over a lot of the office stuff stuff, yeah, but it will never take over the on-site. The on-site building stuff. Like even people can say whatever they want. Yeah, you can create machines for everything, it will never be perfect. Machines cannot take over every single thing.

SPEAKER_02

I totally agree. Machines, sure, you can find a machine for digging, you can find a machine for thing, but they cannot actually put it together when you're all like The present. Exact. I agree. I agree.

SPEAKER_01

Perfectionists will not approve.

SPEAKER_02

Um, but yeah. I think uh I think this was a good topic. I like this topic. It actually got me thinking a lot, you know. And I thought I thought at first that I wouldn't have a lot to say, and I'm like, now that you've got me heated up.

SPEAKER_01

You know what? I'm gonna leave a question um for the listeners and for you for the next episode. Uh and we'll start with your answer to the question. Okay. And that is, um, it goes the same to the listeners. If you're not in a male-dominated field, or if you are, what is it? And uh what has been your biggest struggle? And then for you, because you're not, you're still in school, still studying, what would be the profession that you would choose, knowing all the struggle the woman went through and are still going through, and would you why would you choose that?

SPEAKER_02

Okay. So that'll be yeah, that I needed to do do some studying for this.

SPEAKER_01

You need to think based on your you know personality, who you are, what would you pick, and why would you pick it?

SPEAKER_02

I agree. Okay, this was a nice episode. Well, thank you so much for listening. Yes, thank you so much for the support.

SPEAKER_01

We have listeners all over the world.

SPEAKER_02

I know. I'm actually really surprised, but I'm so grateful too. So it's amazing. Everybody, all right. This is what it is. She said what she said.