Episode 5: He Ghosted, Brought Another Woman, And Still Wasn’t The Red Flag?

The night started like any other mixer: quick intros, polite laughs, and small talk that rarely sticks. Then a conversation clicked, time rushed by, and a quiet spark turned the parking lot goodbye into something that mattered. What followed wasn’t a rom-com beat it was silence, a last-minute invite, and a shock at the next event when he arrived with another woman. That’s where the real story begins: not with butterflies, but with boundaries.

Transcript

Welcome & Story Disclaimer

SPEAKER_00 0:00

She said what she said. Welcome to episode five. I'm here with another, we're here with another story. I stayed out of this one, I guess. And to be honest, this one 100% I don't know nothing about. So I'm gonna be my reactions are gonna be as raw as possible. So I'm gonna hand it off to Anish.

SPEAKER_01 0:25

Yes, I'll read the story. It is not our story, guys. Again, disclaimer Okay.

The Social Butterfly At The Mixer

SPEAKER_01 0:33

So female 27 has always been the kind of person who can walk into a room full of strangers and leave with a handful of new connections. Networking events, meet and mingles, mixer, those spaces are basically her playground. We love we love social people. Absolutely. Right? I am a social people myself, so.

SPEAKER_00 0:58

I wouldn't like I cannot say the same, unfortunately. And you're not there yet. No, you're gonna bloom eventually. Hopefully, hopefully.

SPEAKER_01 1:08

She's naturally social, curious about people and never afraid to start a conversation. So when she walked into this particular mixer, she expected the usual friendly faces, small talk, maybe a few new contacts to add to her phone, nothing unusual. This sounds like speed dating.

SPEAKER_00 1:29

Well, I feel like work events sometimes feel like that. Like you meet new people for the first time, and like you have to like start a conversation. But you gotta keep it professional.

SPEAKER_01 1:40

You know what I mean? There's never anything like 99% of the men are married, so except that night felt different.

Flirtation, Numbers, Then Silence

SPEAKER_01 1:49

Among the crowd was someone she connected with a little more than usual.

SPEAKER_00 1:53

Ooh.

SPEAKER_01 1:54

The kind of conversation where time moves faster than you realize. They joked, tigsly, teased each other, and the energy between them felt effortless. The kind of chemistry you notice, but try not to overthink. I mean, I'm an overthinker.

SPEAKER_00 2:11

I feel like it's hard to do. I'm like run, run. I feel like it's hard to not overthink when something's going well. Nowadays? Yeah, you am. What's happening here?

SPEAKER_01 2:22

The shoe's gonna drop. What is it? Are you serious, killer? Maybe it was also the voice of her friend echoing in the back of her mind, you never know where you'll meet someone. I mean I true, that's why you always dress apart. Hell yeah, hell yeah. But I don't think it makes her is a place. At the end of the night, they walked out together toward the parking lot. Under the dim lights, the conversation slowed down into that slightly more personal territory people reach when the night is ending, but neither one really wants it to.

SPEAKER_00 3:01

I feel like those are the best conversations and

The Text Return And A Surprise Guest

SPEAKER_00 3:05

the best time when the when they're like you know you have to leave, but like you won't don't want to.

SPEAKER_01 3:11

I have a thing, like people tend to trust me with shit. So I'm always like, I don't wanna I like you know, like when things start getting too real and I barely know the person, I just like nope, shut up, nope, don't say it. I don't wanna know. I'm like, I don't want to bury other people's problems. Like, I'm not a therapist. And like you want me to you want me to keep it to myself? Of course never, we share with each other. That's when he mentioned his age, 32. He shared a little about himself just enough to make the moment feel a bit more real. And judging by the way he lingered before saying goodbye, the girl wasn't the only one who felt the spark.

SPEAKER_00 3:54

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 3:55

They exchanged numbers. On the drive home, the texting started immediately. The playful

Separated Or Something Else

SPEAKER_01 4:02

kind that makes you smile at your phone in traffic. But then silence. Silence? Like for that night? No, why would you text someone right after like you just met them? Like, like, give it a couple.

SPEAKER_00 4:16

Give it a couple hours.

SPEAKER_01 4:17

I would say. Hours, literally. I g I guess there was actually a spark here, but I guess not because there were silence. Two weeks went by and not. Silence for two weeks? I was thinking like that night. She got ghosted. See, I knew there was something wrong. The shoe was gonna drop. Luckily, the girl already had tickets to another networking event. Same kind of mixes, same crowd. She didn't think much about it until the day before the event when her phone went up. It was him. Oh my god. Like two weeks later. Hello. Like nothing had happened. Yeah. Like they never talked. Yeah. You know, like, yeah, they met. Yeah, I'm I'm this, I'm that. Okay, good to see you. Nice to meet you next time, right? No. The guy texted, inviting her to go with him. Oh.

unknown 5:13

I guess.

SPEAKER_00 5:14

To like to that

Vanishing Act And The Reveal

SPEAKER_00 5:15

next time.

SPEAKER_01 5:15

Yeah, I guess thank god thank god she already had tickets.

SPEAKER_00 5:18

I I swear to God. Because either way, it whether I had you had tickets or you didn't, I would have never accepted that. I would have been like, babe, two weeks of ghosting and you're here. You better have a big good explanation. Exactly. Before you ask me to go to an event with you.

SPEAKER_01 5:39

Now that felt promising, but when she arrived at the event, she realized something she hadn't expected. He brought another woman. Shut up. I just I would ignore him for the rest of the night.

SPEAKER_00 5:55

The rest of the night?

SPEAKER_01 5:59

Most like if you ignore him for the rest of the night, he would cool in, you know? Kind of like not text again, because she ignored me.

SPEAKER_00 6:06

Nah, the audacity of you texting me to go with you and then showing up with somebody else

Open Relationship Or Just Confusion

SPEAKER_00 6:10

is insane. It's absolutely insane.

SPEAKER_01 6:14

He so at first she wondered if she had completely missed misread the first night. Maybe she imagined the chemistry, maybe that connection was just friendly conversation. I would have think that too. I would have been like, oh crap, finish. Come on, he's probably gay. No, no, it has no explanation nowadays. Read like I would be like, really? You didn't pick up your radar is off again. But strangely, the night didn't feel awkward. They still spent most of the evening talking, laughing, teasing each other like they had before. The playful energy was still there. That's when the real details started coming out.

SPEAKER_00 7:00

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 7:00

So there is something else. Oh yeah. Here's the shoe drop. So the guy has two kids. Oh. And he said he was separated. Well, separated in quotes, okay? Why are

Choosing A Conversation Over Closure

SPEAKER_01 7:14

we calling? Why are we? I don't know. I'm reading the story, let me get there. In the girl's mind, alarm started ringing. Like run. The little voice in her head was loud, but curiosity has a funny way of overpowering common sense. Here we go. Common sense people. Stick with common sense. Protect yourself. Like don't get into this what this girl has got into. So instead of walking away, they kept talking. Soon they were having phone calls, long ones, real conversations. Eventually they met up again and they kissed.

SPEAKER_00 7:55

So without explaining what the girl was thinking in her head?

SPEAKER_01 8:00

I mean, at this point, I feel like there's a lot more in here that this girl didn't want social media to know.

SPEAKER_00 8:06

I bet. Because like it doesn't make sense. Because who's gonna just be like, okay, let me talk to you more then? Okay, let me go ahead on the time. Okay, what's the details? We need to write a little bit better.

Seeing The Man Behind The Mess

SPEAKER_01 8:20

So that weekend they kept talking Friday, Saturday, mostly when he wasn't home. But then Sunday came and just like before, he disappeared again.

SPEAKER_00 8:30

Okay, this is the this is this is your cue. Let it go. Just let it go. Let it go.

SPEAKER_01 8:38

At this point, she was done playing guessing games, none of it made sense. Hell yeah. How does someone share personal stories first, kiss you, and then vanish like that? Monday morning, the truth finally arrived. So I guess he came back. He wasn't separated, not really. He was in an open relationship. So this guy has two kids and he's in an open relationship. I I'm lost.

SPEAKER_00 9:12

Open also, like they're married, but they can date other people. I guess. They're not monogamous.

SPEAKER_01 9:20

Yeah. He explained that they stayed together because of the kids. The relationship itself had been emotionally over for about a year. They lived under the same roof, but there was nothing romantic left between them.

SPEAKER_00 9:32

Oh, so it's not an open relationship. It is a weird rule, it's a real it's a very confusing situation. I can tell, because like usually open relationships, like they the part the husband and wife are still romantic with each other.

SPEAKER_01 9:47

And it's more of like a swinger.

SPEAKER_00 9:49

Exactly, yes, that's the word, swingers.

SPEAKER_01 9:55

Exactly. But this man is more complicated than that. I guess so. And then he said something unexpected. He told her they could talk in person if she wanted, but he also advised her to walk away. Oh

Friendship As The Boundary

SPEAKER_01 10:12

Sarah would you have walked away?

SPEAKER_00 10:13

Yes, unfortunately. For me. Because if a man tells me to walk- What about the questions that would have come up in your head? You wouldn't walk away from those? I understand. But then when I feel like when a man tells you to walk away, you take that and you're rad.

SPEAKER_01 10:28

I guess this girl is not a quitter. And more importantly, she hates unanswered questions. So she wasn't able to walk away. Okay. So she did the opposite of walking away. She scheduled a time to sit down and talk. Damn, okay, girl! By the end of the week, they met up, not no flirting this time, just questions. I like her lots of them. Like her. Straight to the point, right? This is either it's uh make it or break it.

SPEAKER_00 10:55

Exactly. She was like, because I like you, because I felt something that like I haven't felt with a lot of people in the past, I'm not just gonna give up on it, but I'm not gonna go into it blindly either. Yeah. So I'm gonna come with actual questions. And if you answer them, we'll see.

SPEAKER_01 11:12

Right. Slowly the full picture came out. The complicated reality of two people staying together for their children, the

Kids, Divorce, And Hard Realities

SPEAKER_01 11:20

emotional weight he'd been carrying, the responsibility, the exhaustion. And somewhere in the middle of that conversation, she stopped seeing him as the mysterious guy from the mixer. She started seeing a tired man trying to hold his wife together. Oh poor man. Kids are complicated. That's reality.

SPEAKER_00 11:42

Exactly. And to have well, how many two of them? Two, yeah. To have two of them and they're young, I'm guessing, because this is kids, you know? Yeah. Then like it's even harder.

SPEAKER_01 11:52

And if they were older, they he probably would have walked away. Like, yeah, you can, you know, you spend a week with me, you spend a week with your mom type thing. Exactly. That's how most people do. But reality is, like, I come from divorced parents. I was young when they got divorced, and at this point I'm like, yeah, it is what it is. It made me who I am. But as a there was a lot of struggles. So looking back, I'm like, probably if they had actually separated when I was older and I didn't need to take so much responsibility, or the responsibilities that I took at the time were actually matching my age when they if they got divorced later, then it probably would have been better for me.

SPEAKER_00 12:33

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 12:34

So I kind of I can see a little bit of why would you try to hold to s hold something that there's nothing there anymore to hold. But again, we don't have kids, we're not married, so absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 12:46

But I feel like this the saying of like, oh, we're together for the kids has been going around for decades now, okay? Because at the end of the day, for parents, I'm pretty sure that it's so much harder to see their kids go through a big

Hopes, Risks, And What Ifs

SPEAKER_00 13:00

change of not having mom and dad in the same house or not even having mom and dad what you thought were like lovey dovey people.

SPEAKER_01 13:09

It's funny because I in my mind I'm like, I'm pretty sure some of I don't know how old the kids are, like she doesn't mention it on the post, but I'm like they probably figured it out by now that there's something going on. Like kids are super sensitive and they feel everything, so I'm like, yeah, you cannot hide it forever.

SPEAKER_00 13:26

That's why I'm saying, like, it's more the just the thought of the parents, the elder, the grown-ups that think like, oh my god, I'm protecting my children, so I'm doing this for them. But sometimes like they fail to see that they're not actually protecting anybody. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 13:42

So they ended up grabbing dinner, and somewhere between the honesty and the vulnerability, she made a decision she didn't expect. Yes, they could have pursued something more exciting, something messy, something secret, but instead she chose something different. She chose to be his friend. Someone who listens, someone who gives honest opinions, someone who may help widen the weight he's been carrying. That's big of her. I don't have time for that. Not a paid therapist.

SPEAKER_00 14:16

No, that's actually like I was like, okay, girl, I guess you go.

SPEAKER_01 14:21

Right? Like you're okay with it. It's gonna be a tough one because I guess there was chemistry there, so let me know about that. Let me know. Let me know how that sounds. We need an update. Okay, continue. Because sometimes the connection you feel with someone isn't meant to turn into romance. Sometimes it's just meant to teach you something about people, about timing, about boundaries. But she would be whying if she said one tiny thought doesn't still cross her mind from time to time. Maybe someday it will become something. She won't just be there almost. Maybe someday she will be something more. Yep,

Reflections, Updates, And Scheduling Note

SPEAKER_01 15:05

I do it. Our girly pops think the same way. They're like, I can change him. I don't know if that if it's a change or if it's you know, I'll be there once he figures it out. She's still there. Reality is men are wired different than women. We're pretty much like we know what we want right away. We can figure it out. Men, they normally just go for whoever is there next. Like, you know, like so maybe she will have her dream. I guess. Was that the end? Yes. No! I want an update. I need an update. Um I'm gonna I'm gonna try and find out who actually wrote this. Yes, please, because I am like now I'm dying.

SPEAKER_00 15:48

Cause I'm like, girly pops, what like you actually can't stay friends. It goes both uh two ways. She either just bec stays friends and helps him like sort out what he should do with his life, and like, you know, sometimes you actually do need support when you feel alone in this world, and the only thing you can see is like the people you were used to before that don't give you the same advice that you need, you know what I mean? Or my guy finally saw the truth and it was like, I don't want to lose this girly pups, so I'm gonna try to change some things around here. Yeah. And no, I don't know which one is it. I don't know either.

SPEAKER_01 16:29

You know. So yeah, we'll try and find an update for this.

SPEAKER_00 16:34

Please, that was a good story.

SPEAKER_01 16:35

It was a good one.

SPEAKER_00 16:36

That was a really good one. It had a lot of emotionally death to it. I know.

SPEAKER_01 16:40

I mean, like someone gotta be courageous to post this on social media. It's just like it's one of those, like, so many people can judge you.

SPEAKER_00 16:48

That's true.

SPEAKER_01 16:49

Because I I feel like you look around and girls that get involved with someone, even if like their relationship is already over, but you get involved and there's still something going, you always gonna be a rum record. Absolutely. And that's the title the the society will put to you. If it's the other way around, the guy will like the the woman that is married sleeping with someone else, she's gonna just be a bitch and she's gonna be the problem, right? Or you destroy your own home.

SPEAKER_00 17:20

And also, like, okay, let's not get I feel like the story was so nice that I forgot the best one. I'm like, what if the man is lying?

SPEAKER_01 17:30

I mean, that would have been that that's a possibility.

SPEAKER_00 17:34

That would have been a good lie. But then I'm like, I wouldn't put it in.

SPEAKER_01 17:40

She said that she decided to be friends. That's true. Like you were not gonna get anything done.

SPEAKER_00 17:48

That's why I need an update. Because I'm like, I feel like it didn't tell me exactly more about the guy per se.

SPEAKER_01 17:58

Maybe, maybe maybe he will post at some point. I imagine that would be like my point of view. Right? He's gonna find the story and he's gonna be like, wait a second, you're talking about me?

SPEAKER_00 18:11

Well no, I just hope they're they're either friends still or made it into something else. So we can hear about it too.

SPEAKER_01 18:23

Sure. You know what? It's scary. Wait, what if they make it into something else and it's he doesn't figure out his life? Like, poor girl. She's gonna go through the ringer for no reason.

SPEAKER_00 18:34

See, that's what I mean. That's why it's never like whenever when even when she said like okay, like I'll be friend, I'm sure in her mind it wasn't just like 100% friends. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 18:47

Yeah, I'm like on the end, she said, Oh, there's always that thought that crosses my mind, right? So I'm like, I bet. I'm pretty sure she's kind of like, oh, you know, maybe I back up like exactly, exactly. Will he? Will he though? You know, based on today's men in today's world, communication is none. They just don't care, they live in their own bubble and they don't actually realize what's around them. So that's always that, right?

SPEAKER_00 19:19

That's true. That's absolutely true. Okay, this I mean like and so much thoughts in my head myself that I have so many questions that I want to know. But at the end of the day, it's like the type because when she first started saying like she felt like she had known him because this the conversation went so flowing. I feel like those are so you don't find those anymore. No. So when you do, it's like you either hold on to it or you regret it for the rest of your life. It's hard to make a connection with someone.

SPEAKER_01 19:58

It's funny because like you you know me, like I go to I go to a lot of like work-related events. Yeah. But it's one of those like I go I go to make connections to see, okay, what's my next step? You never go within mind, it's like, oh, what if I see some like we dress apart, we always dress apart. Uh that that's embedded in my mind. Every time I leave the house, I'm like, what if I see someone? I better look decent. So you're never gonna see me in pajamas outside. That's reality. Yeah, as it should be. But it's for me, I'm like, I walk around like I'm already in a relationship, don't talk to me. I'm too busy for you. That's why I'm single. But it's just like it's crazy. Like, I would like to know who actually like kind of started talking to who first.

SPEAKER_00 20:48

Oh, like the guy approached or the girl approached.

SPEAKER_01 20:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:51

From what I read from my girl, the girl, I feel like the girl's not the type of person to she would approach for connect uh for work, yeah. I guess related thing, but I don't think she would approach to be like, oh my god, I like that guy. Oh my god, let me go talk to him about something else other than I kinda wanna see a picture.

SPEAKER_01 21:13

I wanna I wanna be like, is he worth it? I'm like, is he worth it? Ador the trouble you're going through. I'm gonna so there's a Facebook page that is uh are we dating the same guy? So I'm gonna keep an eye out in case in case this girl is like from like local and she posts this because then I'm like, wait, the story matches. Let me see if she posted a picture.

SPEAKER_00 21:35

Yes, please be on top of that so we can have another.

SPEAKER_01 21:38

That'd be funny. What if then she's actually vocal and she posts in the wife like comments?

SPEAKER_00 21:44

Imagine the wife says, And to find out the truth, it should find out if she was lying or not. Oh my god, that's true. No, I really hope it's that's not the case. I really hope that's not the case. Don't piss me.

SPEAKER_01 22:00

Guys, we went to apologize for missing a week of podcasts.

SPEAKER_00 22:04

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 22:05

But our uh Saha was very sick, and uh we wanted a nice voice for this. Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 22:12

Sorry you guys again I was under the weather and I had my voice was just gone,

Closing & Promise To Follow Up

SPEAKER_00 22:17

so I we couldn't even record. So that's why we missed it. But we're back now, we won't be missing another one.

SPEAKER_01 22:23

I feel like we probably can do next week too, like two weeks in a row of posting and then go back to our normal schedule.

SPEAKER_00 22:31

I'm down with that one too.

SPEAKER_01 22:32

Right? So pray for us to find an update within a week. If not, we'll come up with a new topic.

SPEAKER_00 22:38

Yes, and but still watch out because one thing in each, she won't give up until she finds the update. Oh, I need to. She'll find the person in contact that be like, can you just tell me what? I guess. But okay, so thank you so much for listening to today's episode. And this is She Said What She Said.