Recovering Out Loud | Mike Howe, Founder of SoberHats.com

In this episode, Mike Howe, founder of SoberHats.com joins Never Alone Live to talk about the power of recovering out loud and why visibility matters in the recovery community. 

Mike shares the story behind creating Sober Hats and how something as simple as wearing a hat that says "sober." can spark meaningful conversations, reduce stigma, and help people feel less alone.

Never Alone Live features real conversations with individuals and families affected by addiction, offering hope, connection, and proof that no one has to face this journey alone.

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:14

Welcome, welcome, welcome everyone to Never Alone Live. Here we are today with our friend Mike from soberhats.com. Mike, I'm telling you, I am excited for this uh for this episode today. Uh, I think we're gonna have uh a lot of fun here. And uh Mike has been uh been you know a part of this since we started Never Alone Live and just giving away free hats and stuff like that. And so uh, you know, Mike, let's uh let's let's let's get into it, you know. Uh tell us uh tell us a little bit about Mike.

SPEAKER_00 0:52

Yeah, sure. First of all, sorry, I think I made us five minutes late because this is my first time uh doing this, so I do apologize. Lots of firsts uh since July when when sober hats was born. So I uh I'm Mike, as John said, I live in uh I'm just outside of Wilmington, Delaware. Uh in that small state that all anybody knows about it is Joe Biden lives here. But uh, or if you drive up to 95, you go through it. But uh I have an anniversary coming up. My sober date is 923, 2017. So next Tuesday, I'll have eight years. Yeah, very excited. Uh it's not my first go-around. I'm I'm 55 and uh I first came into AA in 1991 at the age of 20 years old when I was surrounded by my friends and they said, Mike, hey, when when we go out drinking, we we're worried about you because you you something's different. You you don't stop. And I noticed at a very young age that you know, my friends would get those little eight-pack of pony bottles of of Miller, and um at a very, very young age, I would have to have that and some southern comfort uh, you know, hidden. And um, I believe in the allergy of alcohol. So um through since then, since 1991, I've had different lanes of sobriety, all correlated with how close I've stayed to um my recovery and um you know, the people in my recovery, because my experience has been when I stop um practicing what I need to do, I slowly pull away and then my behaviors change, and then next thing you know, I'm not even thinking about it. I'm just on a self-will run run riot, and I find myself sitting on the edge of the bed saying, How did this happen again? And I've had eight years, I've had nine years, I've had seven years, and uh there seems to be something that's kind of pulled me away once things start getting better, and and once I get better. So um I'm I'm really you know glad to be in the position that I'm sitting in today. And one thing, you know, Krista and I were talking about this earlier, and I know we want kind of we could dive into this today, but I've been at the same company for 28 years, and and that same company has sent me to rehab a few times and um for you know for 30 days each time. And I've never up until recently talked about why or what it is. You know, I felt just this shame and this insecurity of if people knew and what if people knew, and um, I never said anything. And this summer I was sitting around with my kids. I have um uh an amazing wife, and I have two amazing boys of my own that are 24 and 20, and three great stepkids that are once 24 and two are 22. And we were all uh we were talking about, you know, what about if we did something to kind of wear our recovery, like show people and be proud of it? And that's where the sober period. I don't remember which I think it was my son Will. I don't remember, it could have been Kate, my stepdaughter, but somebody came up with the period, and we all kind of looked at each other and we were like, yes, that's perfect, because it's kind of like a full sentence within just sober period. And the whole concept was to recover out loud. And I'll tell you, I felt a big lift off of me once I did that, and uh, you know, really um gotten to a position that I I'm okay with whatever people know of of who I am. And since then I've been able to help multiple people that had no idea, but now have come to me and said, hey, you know, I want to talk to you about my brother, is is one instance that I had uh on the job. Um, but it's been it's been awesome. Been awesome.

SPEAKER_02 4:46

Thanks, Mike. You know, let's uh let's jump over into the comments for a second because we got uh we got a bunch of people that are joining us here. And Tiffany, Tiffany is uh is a friend that she's here every week with us, and uh she uh won the uh sober uh period t-shirt last week, and she said that she got it in the mail. That's awesome. And uh we've got a bunch of friends in here. Um, Ashley Allen is sober since 11022. Congratulations, Ashley. We're proud of you. We love you. You keep doing what you're doing, it just gets better. That's uh four days after my uh sobriety date. And so your your sobriety date is in six days, and you're gonna have eight years, Mike. Congratulations. Um, we uh there's uh Brad who's in the comments. Brad, uh, this isn't an AA meeting or an NA meeting. Uh no, but this is a recovery meeting where we talk, and Mike's telling his story about recovery, and it's what we what we're talking about is recovery. Is that a meeting per se? No, but it's uh it's the next best thing, in my opinion. Um, and today we're talking about spreading the message of recovery. That's our um that's our our subject, if you will. And Mike, we uh before you know we have somebody come on, we think about what is the subject gonna be, right? And you know, what better subject to talk about of spreading the message of recovery than than soberhats.com that has uh, you know, you guys are you know helping people recover out loud. We are, you know, sober period. It says that on the hat, it says it on the t-shirts, and now you have new hats and new apparel that's a clean period and all sorts of new stuff. Um, and this the recover out loud thing is just it's just taking over, and more and more people are doing, and you know, we're very lucky to have you involved in our community, you know. Besides uh this Never Alone Live, uh, we have a TikTok community that we meet every day at 10 a.m. Eastern Standard Time, and you're a big part of that community. We do a Zoom meeting Tuesday night, we do a Zoom meeting Wednesday night. You're part of those communities, you know. You're not just you're not just you're living this, brother. And uh I appreciate you. And I know there's a bunch of people in the comments that are saying they appreciate you as well. Um, so let's uh let's talk about you know how you got so you've been sober for coming up on eight years, so proud of you. Um, and let's talk about how you got the the sober period hats thing going. I mean, you just started it in July and it's uh it's it's kind of taking off. Oh, hang on, before we go, we're gonna give away some free stuff today. We're gonna give away some hats. Um, and uh Mike is graciously giving away hats today, and uh you guys stick around for a little bit longer because we're gonna have a scavenger hunt and it's gonna be awesome. Uh so thanks to my question. What uh what got you what got you going with this, dude?

SPEAKER_00 7:56

Yeah, it's you know, it's a great question. I mean, something just kind of came over me this summer that uh I felt like, hey, there's no need for me to be ashamed or for me to h hide this anymore. And um really it was in talking to my kids and my stepkids that the you know the idea was born and they just kind of pulled on it because they they have the technology experience, right? At their ages in their early 20s, I would have never been able to do any of this uh on my own because I could I struggle with email as we knew about being five minutes late, right? So um, you know, they knew how to set up a website, and you know, my my son Will has gone in and created a website for us, and he was able to figure out how to attach it to a vendor that would then fulfill the hat. So I'm not boxing them up and sending them myself. I do want to get to that point eventually or or get to the point from a volume perspective that we manufacture them on their own. But right now, when somebody orders one, it goes from the website um straight to the vendor for fulfillment. And uh, you know, your margins are a little smaller when you do that, but really this whole thing from the beginning has not been about cash in my pocket. The whole thing has been about a mission and honestly, it keeps me closer to recovery. I mean, you heard me say that I had various lengths of sobriety and then I would get away from recovery. And I I overheard my wife this past weekend, we got asked to do an event um on Saturday for an organization called Attack Addiction, which is here in Delaware. And um, I overheard my wife say to somebody how amazing this has been for me because it it gives me a purpose. And I come home and I'm I'm drilling down on, you know, how can I build, how can we get more followers? How can we, I mean, all the things that you do when you're involved with social media, um, it's been great for my kids. Um, I have, again, very creative kids that have been able to uh assist with this. My stepdaughter pretty much runs the Instagram site and does an awesome job. She comes up with things that I'm looking at and I'm like, I would have never thought of that in a million years. And or she'll come up with something that I'll be like, I'm not so sure about it. And then it has, you know, 3,000 views. So um it just shows that me of my own opinions, um, is not it. So um it's been an exciting venture that um has been really with all of my all of my kids helping out and weighing in and my wife as well. She's been a she's been a big supporter and proponent and and uh very supportive of it. She stayed with me at that event this past weekend uh all day long, helping me man the table. So as I was trying to figure out how to take Cash App over my phone. So again, shows that I don't really know technology too well. That's awesome.

SPEAKER_02 10:58

You know, I mean it yeah, the sober period hat, you know, it's uh it's be it's it does so much, you know, it's it's spreading awareness, it's spreading awareness, you know. And now with the new hats that you've got coming out, clean period, it's spreading awareness, you know.

SPEAKER_00 11:14

There's so I'm I'm really excited, and uh, you know, you know, John, let me let me butt in for one second because there's a there's a whole nother line. So we did we we got a lot of feedback from from a lot of you. A lot of times, people that are solely addicts don't relate, or or I shouldn't say don't relate to sober, but think of sober as alcohol only. Now, for myself, I think of sober as alcohol and drugs, but that's just for me. Some addicts don't really relate to that, and we were given that feedback. So that's where uh clean was born from. And um, we actually sold our uh our first one today. So um the other Katie. What's that?

SPEAKER_04 11:57

Katie said she bought hers.

SPEAKER_00 11:58

Yeah, I was just gonna say, I was just gonna say it was Katie that that bought the first clean hat today. So thank you, Katie. I I can't see whether you're in the in the stream or not, but um the other thing, if you think about people like Michaela, our good friend, that's a super supporter of all of us, we um have decided to come up with a line that's for kind of sober allies, so people that support people in recovery. Because that, you know, somebody I'll give you a perfect example. The sober shirts, my wife and I both wore to the event on Saturday. And my wife went into the Dunkin' Donuts wearing a sober shirt, came out, got in the car, and she's like, I felt a little hypocritical because she has five glasses of wine a year. Well, literally, we're talking like five drinks a year, she has, and she doesn't finish them, which I just don't understand, but that's the truth. Um but she felt a little hypocritical. So we're gonna come up with a line, a separate line of hats for sober supporters saying things like sober ally, period, sober supporter, period, sober minded, period. Um, so we're able to really, for a lot of you on here, you might have spouses that support you that are will have the same ability to, you know, for them to show that they're a supporter of somebody, and again, all around recovering out loud.

SPEAKER_03 13:16

I love that. Dude, that's that's so that's so great.

SPEAKER_02 13:19

And Krista, I want to come to you now because you've been rocking the sober period hat since the very beginning. Was he your first he was first?

SPEAKER_00 13:27

She was hat number one, and he was hat that is hat number one that you see on her head right now. Yep, that went and I did and I did send that one out myself because it came with like a little card that explained who we are. Um because I ordered samples and that's what I ended up sending to Krista.

SPEAKER_02 13:45

So I feel honored. Uh so I want I Krista, I want to ask you, you know, because this is you are a big proponent of recover out loud. What has this done for you and your mission to recover out loud?

SPEAKER_04 14:00

I love wearing my recovery. Like yes, I have a big mouth when it comes to it, and I can tell my story, and there's a lot of times I gotta be quiet, or I'm in line at the store, or like someone's noticing. I get compliments on all the recovery swag I wear. But these hats are like I love how simple it is because like a lot of stuff, it can be too busy. You missed the whole point of the hat. Um, and what's cool is I like started a little recovery clothing brand during COVID. It didn't really take it, didn't really take off. But I actually had the same idea and I did sober period or pray period. Like I would do simple words because it is a sense, it's like a full sentence. Um I think it's my favorite part about wearing my recovery is is like people will come up and tell me they're sober day because they want to tell someone they're proud of themselves. Like, and not everyone in their their life is maybe proud at the moment, or they're not comfortable enough to tell the people that they've hurt in the past, or like yeah, like some people just don't want to hear, like in your life want to hear about it. Um, or someone will go, hey, like, can you tell me where a meeting is, or can you tell me uh my brothers needs treatment? Can you help me with some ideas for treatment or whatever? And it just it opens the door to it opens like the silent door that needs to be opened, and you didn't know this door could even open. And uh, I feel honored that I have one of the first hats. And I added an accessory, my my lucky little fishing hook.

SPEAKER_02 15:36

But um that's amazing. Amazing. That's cool. I love that. All right, we'd love to do that.

SPEAKER_00 15:42

We would love to figure out sorry, John. We'd love to figure out an accessory to put um number of years on a little clip on the hat or or embroidered on the side. I mean, the the the possibilities are endless on where we could take it.

SPEAKER_02 15:59

Um to go back to the recovery out loud thing, you know, I am you know I've been sober for a long time and I am a 12-stepper from AA. And you know, AA is all about anonymity and being anonymous. And you know, that was in 1939, you know, it's uh it's kind of lost the anonymity uh a lot. I I am I well, I'm not gonna say AA as a whole has lost anonymity. I am not uh uh I am not anonymous about mine. And when I talk about my recovery and I'm able to talk to a newcomer or you know, meet somebody else who, you know, hey, uh I'm in recovery too. Dude, it's awesome. It's awesome. And these hats speak volumes. And somebody sees the hat. I have two hats. I have two sober period hats. I've worn them both times. I've had somebody come up to me and say, Hey, I'm sober too. It's not, you know, great, it's not a secret. Love it. Let's do this out loud. Um, okay, do we have a winner? Do we have a winner?

SPEAKER_03 17:08

Marie.

SPEAKER_02 17:12

Zero proof? Does it say zero proof?

SPEAKER_00 17:14

On the left hand side. On the left hand side. First hat first hat on the left hand side. What does it say on it?

SPEAKER_04 17:22

Marie says zero proof and Helen. Helen clean. Helen is the clean.

SPEAKER_00 17:26

Whoever said clean is the is the winner. And as we give out more hats, I'll give we'll give more, uh, I'll come up with another uh scavenger hunt from the website for you. But uh, whoever said clean is the winner.

SPEAKER_02 17:38

Okay, Helen. Helen, Helen is uh is I think Helen is our new friend from the uh from TikTok this morning. Helen, uh just uh send Mike and Helen send Mike an email that says uh and Mike uh and Megan, can you put in uh Mike's email in the comments? Just send Mike an email and uh and you're our first winner. We are gonna give away a few more hats as we're going. Um and uh this is gonna be fun. Um so we're talking about recovery out loud. We're talking about spreading the message of recovery. Um you know, Mike is uh Mike's company, uh soberhats.com. The hats are just the beginning, you know. What else do you got in store?

SPEAKER_00 18:27

Well, you know, we we've talked about everything from um, you know, how far could we take it in terms of clothing? Uh, how far could we take it in terms of t-shirts and hoodies? We do have a t-shirt on the website right now. So um, but you know, we we know that it's just the beginning of it that we could uh have hoodies and whatnot. But one of the most amazing things that I think could go bigger than just the state of Delaware is this weekend we were approached by a company called the Oxford House when we were at this event. And Oxford houses in Delaware are they're halfway houses, they're they're um sober living houses. And the state helps fund them. And there's actually 85 of them in the state of Delaware, each with you know, eight to ten men. There's men's houses and there's women's houses. And that two of the executives from there approached our table, started talking about us, said we love and by the way, when we set up at this event, we we were almost sold out of hats before the event started because people love them. Literally, that was the reaction. And a lot of the people that were buying them were people that are in these Oxford houses that were at the event. And and these executive executives from the Oxford House saw like these representatives from the state, I should say, I guess they are. And um, what they would like to do is they would like to have it so when residents hit the six-month sober mark, they hand them a hat.

SPEAKER_03 19:56

Oh my god, I like it.

SPEAKER_00 19:57

It's kind of like a badge of honor, and we could come up with a special hat just for them. That you know, we we have a lot of different, you know, like this is a new color that just came out, it's kind of like a deep orange, it's actually like African Clemson. Yeah, I love I love the orange, but we have a lot of different um hats, but we could come up with a different hat just for them. And I honestly feel like that could be done not just for these 85 Oxford houses, but some of you that have been through sober living experiences. I mean, think about it. Wouldn't it be cool if you hit a and it could be when you graduate, it could be when you leave, when you're walking out the door and it's just in a little bag and it gives you the ability to leave there with something that says, hey, I'm I'm clean or I'm sober, whichever one you know you choose. So really the possibilities there are endless.

SPEAKER_04 20:45

I love that.

SPEAKER_00 20:46

And and John, I wanted to touch on something you said about AA and anonymity. When you when I was some of you may have heard it when I was kind of telling you a little bit about my story, that was really hard to do because it is so ingrained in the back of my head, you know. I just keep thinking press, radio, and film, you know, and the anonymity piece. And I'm I'm hesitant to talk about it. Um, so I just wanted to say I I relate I relate to that. And and where I I do feel that it's so important that I recover out loud, it's it's a fine line, and I'm not quite sure where that is yet. So if others are struggling with that too, I certainly am struggling with that in terms of making sure that I don't break a tradition in anything that I do. Um, I I've had one person um uh uh kind of make a comment to me about that, like you know, I'm I'm capitalizing on you know the AA, and and that's really not true. Um, really, this is about my personal journey and and and and helping people so they don't have to do what I dealt with the past 28 years, not sharing it, not talking about it. I mean, think about that. It's so bizarre to me now. Sitting here to think that I would leave my job out of nowhere, right? After I'm sure behaviors that people were kind of scratching their head about, but I would leave my job out of nowhere for 30 days and come back in and not say a word. Like, what if I what if I had diabetes really bad and I was hospitalized? Like, what if that was my sickness and disease and I had to leave for a month? Would I come back to work and not say I'm diabetic and I I went into this is what happened? Like, of course I would, but I didn't say a word. Like to me, sitting here today, and it's it's the anonymity piece that always kind of pushed that down on me. But really, they're two separate things. This is just how I'm choosing to live my life now.

SPEAKER_03 22:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:45

You know, I mean, and and I'll I'll probably get, you know, you know, hunted down by the AA police for you know, all this the talk about anonymity. Um, and you know, is it breaking traditions? I don't think so. You know what it's doing? It's helping people stay sober. If if a person puts on a hat that says sober and that helps them to stay sober one more day, I'm not saying anything negative about it, but whatever it takes, recovery is so hard. And you know, to to put politics in it, to take to take things uh that could be beautiful and helpful, and you know, some somebody could be walking down the street and suffering, and they see Krista wearing a sober period hat, and they walk up to her and say, Oh my goodness, you're sober. How do I get what you have? Why, why, why is that why are we having an issue here? You know, the world needs more recovery out loud. We need to tell, you know, if if you are are are, you know, when when Phil Wilson and Dr. Bob got together, they went to the hospital and found AA number three. Had they not gone to the hospital, had they waited at their door for somebody to come to them and stayed anonymous and never gotten the word out, we wouldn't be here today. You know, uh, this is getting the word out. And, you know, and like I said, I'll probably I'm probably gonna get AA arrested now.

SPEAKER_00 24:17

But uh, you know, I'm they're at my door right now, knocking.

SPEAKER_04 24:21

Well, I think I think there's a stigma on the solution. Like there really is, because you have a lot of people that um may have been hurt from AA in the past or NA or any everyone recovers differently. And what we've been doing on TikTok and coming on these social media apps and stuff is we're we're kind of doing like a generic all-around recovery because it doesn't matter what it takes to get there. And I think the anonymous part is for me looking at it at this way, because I'm an AA, I got sober through AA, I love it, I I respect it, I respect that what they got going on. And if I go to a meeting, I respect with the rules and what they have in the traditions, all that, but I think it's more about keeping that person's story safe in the rooms and what they're going through in the rooms and not like going out and telling everyone, like, hey, Bob down the street, he's whatever, or you know, it's more, and if it's your story and you want to share it, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:22

And you know, Chris, I think that's really well said, and and I I got I have some clear examples of why it's so important. So I went to Washington, DC a couple weeks ago, and I wore the hat 100% of the time, so was everywhere I could possibly be throughout the city, and I can't tell you the amount of knuckle punches I got. You know, sometimes I didn't even know what people were doing, you know, they were just like walking up to me. Then I noticed that they're like pointing at the hat, give me a knuckle punch, a thumbs up. But there's something amazing that happened. I get I the I the hair of my arm stands up when I think about it because I believe this and it might not be true. But my wife and I were walking down the street, and a man was walking towards us that just looked he he looked um beat up, right? He he he didn't look like he was in good shape, his head was down, and he looked up and he stared at my hat. Now keep in mind, I'm not talking to my wife, she just happens to be next to me, but I'm thinking to myself, this guy is locked in on my hat, and he's staring at my hat as we walk as we walk by each other, and he's just staring at it literally like this. And I turn my head with him as we walk past. And my wife said, Did you see that guy? Like he was stunned. He looked like his eyes were gonna pop out of his head. I said, I know. I said, you know what? Maybe, just maybe. Imagine this. Imagine if two minutes before he was sitting on the curb and he said, God, if you're real, give me a sign. Give me a sign. And then all of a sudden, there's a sober period hat, you know, walking towards the guy. I I I kind of feel that way. Like I he his facial, I can't describe it, but my wife, who we weren't talking about at the time, we talked about it afterwards, felt and and described the exact same thing that he was impacted by it. And I I believe that that that that did happen. Or and if and if it didn't, if I'm wrong, if he was just like, look at this idiot wearing his hat that says sober. I believe that it could happen. And that hope and that belief, in and of itself, if I was never to make a dime, it makes it all worth it. Makes it all worth it.

SPEAKER_02 27:36

So yeah, that's I mean, spread spread spreading the message is the key, you know, spreading the good, spreading the word. Getting sober and staying sober is hard. And you know, we tell people to be enthusiastic about the recovery. Be enthusiastic about your recovery. If you are are able to stay sober today, you are crushing it. Because, you know, when everything in life is telling me to go out and drink or use drugs, you know, and I don't, that's a win. That's a win. And anybody out here in our comments that's watching, if you're celebrating, we're celebrating. And we're proud of you. And and you need to be proud of you. When I when I came in, I had such low self-esteem. I didn't like who I looked at in the mirror. Today, I'm proud of who I've become. I'm proud of what my program has has made of me. Today I love helping others. And you got you could have never, I would have never been able to say that before because the only person I liked helping was myself. Um, you know, today we're talking to Mike from soberhats.com. Anyone new and joining us, uh, soberhats.com, uh, Krista is wearing one of them. Um, it says sober period, and he's got all sorts of new ones that are coming out. Uh, clean period. Um, Helen asked a question earlier. What's the difference between clean and sober? And you know, it's uh, you know, clean is synonymous with na uh referring to drugs and and uh and sober is uh is generally referred towards alcohol, but they're two, they're one and the same. And you know, the I I mean, I uh I am an AA guy, but I'm clean, you know, and I'm sober. And I it doesn't matter. Um so we have already given away one free hat uh and via our scavenger hunt. Helen was our first winner. Helen, hopefully you emailed Mike already. Um, we're gonna give away uh another hat. Um, we're giving away we're giving away some stuff today.

SPEAKER_00 29:43

Uh I'll tell I can tell them what to look for on the on the website, John, if that's okay. Okay, and by the way, we're going to the website again. Go ahead. You give them the by the way. I wanted to point out that I came on and said, I'm gonna give away two. Usually we give away one hat. That's usually what I do. I give away one hat, and I know others have given stuff away. Today I said, Well, since it's me, I should give away two. And John chimed in and said, Well, I want to buy two to give away also. So thanks to John, we're actually giving away four today. So stay tuned. But I'm teaching you a little bit of how to use our website now. So if you haven't figured that out, but if you go to our website, right at the top, it says our inventory, right? Underneath that, it says something in quotation marks. It's very clear, right in quotation marks. So the first person that puts it in the comments here, um, and I can't see the comments, so I'm gonna have to rely on John and um Krista to tell me what somebody says. Underneath the words our inventory, it says something in quotation marks. And it's actually very important that you know this. So uh we'll we'll see.

SPEAKER_02 30:50

Learning learning tactic to it is, and we've got uh the the link is in the comments right now, and so all you gotta do is click it, go and read what's underneath our inventory. First person to put that in is getting a free hat. Helen already won a free hat. They're really fast.

SPEAKER_04 31:09

You guys are almost as fast as Mike's shipping, okay? Cash shipping, and it's free to smoke.

SPEAKER_01 31:16

That was cheesy. That was that was good though. I liked it. There is free shipping this amazing.

SPEAKER_04 31:21

It's in quotes, Amanda, in quotes.

SPEAKER_01 31:23

In quotes. What's it saying? Quotes. There it is.

SPEAKER_00 31:26

I see it. That's it.

SPEAKER_02 31:28

Amanda wins click comment to review color options. Amanda, you are our second winner. Oh, Paul, you were close. Awesome. Paul, you were close.

SPEAKER_00 31:39

We're listening. That's an important piece. I I think when you I I've gotten feedback um that people don't realize that, but when you go to the website and you see the hats and you might say, Oh, I like this pink hat, you might be thinking it might be in blue, you click on the hat and it's going to give you all the different color options and it'll show you pictures of it. So Amanda, congrats. If you email, if you email soberhats at gmail.com, you are uh your your information. You and I will connect later and just email me and say I was one of the winners. And I I got jobs making note of the name. So I think I know who you are, Amanda, from last night.

SPEAKER_02 32:17

This is awesome. So fun. Uh, we've uh in South Carolina, so we're taking over. We've given away two hats so far. Our buddy Jeff Vickers is in the comments right now, and uh Jeff is a friend, uh, another uh bald bearded, beautiful guy. So uh Jeff and Jeff's new book just came out. And uh Believe, Behave, and no, it's not what it's not the name. Jeff Become Become Become Believe, Behave, become. Uh Jeff, drop your drop the name of the book in and uh a link of where people can go for it. And uh, dude, this is awesome. And we've got so many friends joined us right now. And you know what, Mike? I'm very fortunate, you know, you've joined our community, and it's uh, you know, I get to, you know, we text all the time, and uh I'm glad to call you a friend as well, you know, and because this isn't just about, you know, this is about fellowship, you know, and we are we are constantly building our community and this this online community that that we built so full of support and and love and trust and vulnerability. And you know, there are people in here that have a few days sober. There's a people that have a few decades sober, it doesn't matter, you know, we're all in here doing it together, and uh, and I and it's awesome, and I love what you stand for. And you know, we're talking about the message of recovery today. Okay, Jeff threw his uh his book in the uh believe, behave, become. Uh Jeff, we love you. And uh, I'm I'm reading the book right now. I love it. Um, so that's phenomenal. Um okay, so uh oh. Oh, there's Vincent. Vincent comes here all the time. I'm telling you, I get so excited. We got a lot of people. Um that's good. That's a good thing. So, so what do people need to know about you, Mike? What's uh what what do people need to know about Mike?

SPEAKER_00 34:27

Yeah, that that's a good question. Um I I would say that the most important thing uh to me is my family and my kids. I've gone through I've gone through different phases in my life where uh I was kind of known for my career, my job. I I was uh out of high school, I was a friend of mine and I started a pizza place literally out of high school. We found a place that went out of business, and the landlord had the equipment, and we took it over and opened a pizza place. And I was kind of known as Pizza Mike. And then I owned some coffee shops in Philadelphia, and I was kind of that was my self-esteem is the fact that I own these coffee shops, and then for a while it was my job. Uh, but in in 2001 and and again in 2004, um, I had two beautiful children that absolutely are my are my life in terms of what's critical to me. And and then in 2014, I met my wife, and um, we got married in 2017, and my family went from you know, the three of us, me and my two kids, I split time with them and their mom, and we we have actually a great relationship. I'm very, very fortunate about that. I know that that's not the case with everybody, but I'm very grateful for that. But my family went from the three of us to to seven, and um we blend very well. For some of you that might have a blended family, it's not always easy. I I hear stories, but I'm very fortunate because all five of my kids get along phenomenally. We go to be on vacation every year for a week down to the shore, which if you know anything, the shore is Jersey. Everybody in Jersey call it, they don't call it the beach, it's the shore. Um, but we go down there for a week every year, and all the kids get along fantastic, and all the kids are thriving um in what they're doing, and I'm just super, super fortunate and and grateful. I mean, that that is that is who I am, and that is my life. Um, I I I got fortunate to have married somebody that's very opposite of me. Uh, I tend to be very high strung, a little bit anxious, a little bit of OCD. Sound familiar to anybody. And um, she is like the most chill person. Her her like her resting heartbeat is like 45. My resting heartbeat is like 70, right? Like we just go at two different speeds, but we complement each other very well. And um, that's that's what's that's what's important to me right now is whole is is my family, um, my relationship with a higher power, and you know, on top of all of that is my recovery, because I know that you know, if I put if I fray from where I am and put a drink or a drug in my system, if I make that choice, because that's the only choice I have. My experience with me is as soon as I do that, I lose the power of choice. It just disappears uh from me and and I'm unable to stop unless I'm in my experience, I've been removed from society and sent to rehab. I mean, that's just what it took for me because I wouldn't be able to stop. And so I know that for me to maintain all those wonderful things that I was just talking about, and one of them being my job, I mean, I'm very fortunate to be working at the same place. I I 28 years, like you know, I say all the time, by the way, that that if I was married to me, I don't know that I would still be with me, right? Like based on what I put my wife through. And and I don't know whether I would still employ me based on some things that happened. Like, you know, I'm so grateful for all of those things, which kind of if you pull the string on that, it all leads back to you know wearing it out loud to being proud of it instead of feeling like it's a shameful thing that people are going to judge me on. And and I can't say that I don't still feel that way. I gotta be honest with you, even doing this with all of you. Uh, you know, there's some people that I thought, boy, you know, if this person watches it, if this person watches it by any chance, you know, I I I need to watch, I need I'm still working on kind of cleansing myself of all that and truly feeling comfortable within myself to be completely out loud because I I I'd be being untruthful if I said it still doesn't kind of worry. I I don't know what the words worry, but um there's a little fear. I there's a little bit of fear that there's that there's gonna be judgment. And um I need to let go of it because I know sitting here with you right now talking, it's not real, it's not nobody, it's just not. I mean, could there be some 65-year-old man that I work with that if he heard that I was in recovery based on his life experiences, have have a feeling towards that? Yes, there could be, but that is far outweighed, far outweighed by the number of people that have come to me for for help or to just talk to because they understand and know that I've been through hell and I made it through. And if they're going through it, or if somebody that they love is going through it, that I'm here that they can talk to. That that's so much more important than somebody that's gonna potentially, and that I could be wrong with this, judge me because I had a problem with with alcohol and drugs.

SPEAKER_04 39:44

One of my favorite things about you is how you have your family involved in this and the kids, and you all your kids are in their like early 20s, late teens, right? And that that's when like my drinking went way out of hand, and I wanted to fit in, like, and that you are like breaking a stigma while having them involved, showing them that like you don't have to drink to have a good time, that redemption is real, like it's just the coolest thing to see you have them involved and them want to be part of it, and it's cool.

SPEAKER_00 40:18

It blows my mind. That's so that's so big. Yeah, it blows my mind that they're so good, that they're so well behaved that like if I had five of me, like of at that age in my 20s, I I don't know what I would do. I mean, I'm I'm so fortunate.

SPEAKER_02 40:35

We are in the process, we are in the process of breaking generational curses. This is that's what it is. I mean, I come from a family of of alcoholics and addicts, you know, yeah, and it is long way down the line of of people that are you know that have had this disease. And now with my children, you know, I tell my children, you know, my stories, you know. My daughter went uh a couple years ago. Now my daughter is the exact opposite of me, dude. And she is the most quiet, shyest person in the world, and she introduced me for a lead. And uh this was I she was 18, and uh she introduced me for a lead, and uh, and it was so cool, man. And she uh, you know, she does not, you know, have the crazy desires to go out and get messed up today, you know. And you know, we are you know in the process of ending generational, you know, addiction and generational trauma and generational everything negative that comes along with a life of addiction, we're ending that. And we do that by recovering out loud. We have to tell our children, you know, we have to we have to be honest, we have to be forthright, you know, and by wearing a hat that says sober, period, you know, uh, let's give away another hat. Let's give away another hat. How are we gonna give away a hat now?

SPEAKER_00 42:00

All right, let me tell you where to search. So if you pull up soberhats.com, there is a camouflage hat on the website. The first first person that can tell us the name of what that hat is. So we know it's a camouflage hat, but it's a sober, and you'll see a price there, right above the price is the name of the hat. So the first person that can say what the name of that camouflage hat is will win a hat courtesy of John, by the way. So, first two, if you're just joining us, the first two hats uh when we started, I said I'm gonna give away two this week. And John said, Well, since it's sober hats, I'm gonna buy two also. So look for the everybody for the hat. Look for the hats, hats for everybody.

SPEAKER_02 42:45

Everybody gets a card. Okay, con uh Karen said sober flat bell. She's got it. She's got it. She's gonna be decked out on all the things, Rob, you were so close. Rob so close.

SPEAKER_04 43:08

That's hype.

SPEAKER_00 43:09

So if you could email me at soberhats at gmail.com, tell me that you won, and then I'll kind of tell you how it's gonna work. Which basically you're gonna get to pick any hat you want, any color, whatever it is, you give me your address, and I have it shipped out to you. So it'll be that it'll be that simple.

SPEAKER_04 43:27

Okay, so even said you were hot, right? Okay.

SPEAKER_02 43:34

We are we are gonna give away one more, we are gonna give away one more hat before we're done today. So you guys stick around with us. Uh look at uh we're we're buying views right now. Um but I'll take it. I'll take it, I'll take it. Because I, you know, the so I wanna I wanna keep on this idea of spreading the message of recovery. What else can we do as as people in recovery? Yeah. Know uh what else can we do to spread the message of recovery? I think this is something that we should always be thinking about, you know. I mean, talking about it in our houses, you know, and you know, ending the generational stuff, you know, going to treatment centers, going to rehabs, wearing it out loud, going on TikTok, going on Facebook. You know what I love, dude? I love uh seeing all the sober uh hats uh online. I I I'll see a random, random video of uh Skylar Ray, and every video he has now he's wearing that hat. And uh, you know, Michaela and all the hats, all the it really goes with everything makes.

SPEAKER_00 44:40

So yeah, and listen, if you don't follow Skylar Ray, uh type it in and give him a follow. He's a hip hop artist that's in recovery that travels the country performing at rehabs and prisons. And uh these days I'm seeing his sober hat and all his pictures, which uh I absolutely love. Many of you, Michaela, I know you mentioned it. I mean, there I could go on and on for the the number of people that have you know kind of kind of supported. In fact, those of you that have won a hat, we would love it if when you get it, if you're comfortable with this, is do a little unboxing, take a picture of yourself, putting it on, and we'll we'll blast it out on on our special hash.

SPEAKER_04 45:21

Do you have a special hashtag?

SPEAKER_00 45:24

What's that?

SPEAKER_04 45:25

Do you have a special hashtag people should use?

SPEAKER_00 45:29

Uh that's yeah, it's really it's really so it's sober hats, yeah. But I think we'll we'll see it is if they tag if they tag me in it. Oh, yeah, wherever they do it, we'll see it and and blast it out.

SPEAKER_02 45:43

So it's awesome. You know, that talk, but when you know, today we're talking about spreading the message of recovery. Sober hats, sober period, clean period. You know, we're talking about recovery. Anything we can do to get the message out there that you know that there's hope, that uh that's that's that's big. These are these these are spreading hope, you know, that if Krista can do it, maybe I can do it. You know, that if uh Michaela is wearing a video, wearing a hat in a video, maybe and she's doing it, maybe I can do it. You know, this is uh I love this, I love what you're doing, and uh, you know, and I wanna I want to keep this topic going of what else can we do? What else can we do to spread the word? There's people dying, there's people dying out there all the time of of overdoses and and and and health issues, and there's you know, this is this is life or death. And you know, what else can we do to spread the word? You know, I think about that all the time, and I know you think about it too. Uh, you know, that's uh it's it's this is a we're at a critical stage, and with all the craziness going on out there, with uh there's there's a new drug coming out every five minutes, you know. It's it sucks.

SPEAKER_04 47:00

Uh it's evolving so fast.

SPEAKER_00 47:03

Yeah, you know, and Chris, so you're doing some trying to do something in your community, aren't you? That I I guess there's a lack of I've heard you say there's kind of a lack of treatment centers in your area. Can you can you explain a little bit about what it is that you do? What you're trying to do?

SPEAKER_04 47:17

Well, I'm in South Carolina and our community just got listed number one in the whole state of overdose rates. And um, we don't have any affordable recovery options. I mean, we have a nice one, but out of pocket's 25 grand. And someone like hitting rock bottom doesn't have that just laying around. And a lot of people don't have insurance that I that come to me for help. And um, South Carolina is just a whole different thing. And I'm in a resort area, so they don't want to advertise it, they don't want rehabs, they want you to make $200,000 a year to come visit here, like they they're up in the tourism, and um, but that doesn't mean there's nothing on our streets, like that illicit stuff is flooding our streets, it's so bad, and there's no solution anywhere. So, what's gonna happen? People are we're gonna be burying more people, and there's no way out for these people. So I find little opportunities, like every single person in this country has a right to a three-minute public comment in their community. So I found a way to go get my voice heard, and it's three minutes on the dot, they'll do like a basketball buzzard and they will they will cut you off, but you can go talk about something that's not in the meeting. And I've been making my rounds with that, or anytime I see a public official or state representative talking about anything, recovery or addiction, I'm emailing or calling, and I I've made my way in. Like the guy running for governor, the attorney general of South Carolina, gave me his personal phone number because he has a um fend-off fentanyl thing going on right now, and he's like trying to make a difference, and he's the only one in my state I see saying something about it, and everyone's keeping it hush, hush. And I think it's important that we're educating ourselves on harm reduction, on solutions, on recovery. What happened to Dare? Dare used to be in our schools, and I heard Dare's not a thing anymore because it kind of failed us because they didn't tell us that it was gonna feel great in the beginning, and then it wasn't, and it was gonna ruin our lives. But it just they just said, Don't do it, you know. And um, I remember Dare, and we had just say no and a couple other things. And my stepdaughter's in 10th grade, and they used to do Red Ribbon Week, but they wouldn't advertise it or say, like, here we're gonna do right. They would just say, Hey, it's Red Ribbon Week, and that was it. And uh now they blend it in with homecoming, and it just gets washed out, and they don't even talk about it in school, and it just it doesn't make sense that it's a big secret, but it we're um illicit fentanyl is the number one cause of death for people under 50, like more than cancer, more than car crashes, more than all the crimes. So speaking up, showing up where you can, getting in that little window, you know. But education's key, I think.

SPEAKER_02 50:06

You don't know what's I love that I love that. See, that's a that's exactly what I'm talking about. This is the the when we're talking about spreading the message of recovery, this is exactly what I mean, you know. And we need we need more people out there spreading the message more and more, you know, and the harm reduction and all that stuff. It all we need more, we need more, you know. We need uh this is a this is a a battle, this is a war uh we have going on, and we need to get out there and we need to do our part. Um, okay, we got one last hat to give away. Uh we've given away three hats uh so far, and I can't wait to see uh I can't wait to see all the new videos that come out with people unboxing uh you know I I did mine uh and I and I was I was over the room getting it, you know. Uh yeah, it's uh it's the it's the ugliest uh uh hat opening so far. It was it was good. Uh hang on, you know what? Before we get to a the summer miller, five years sober today. Summer Miller, congratulations. We're so proud of you. We're so proud of you. We love you. You keep doing what you're doing. It only gets better. It only gets better. It only gets better. Um, all right, so we got one last three hands to give away.

SPEAKER_00 51:27

I'll I'll let it roll. So look, let's do somebody that didn't win already. If you already won, you're gonna have to refrain from from from this. So let's try to get it in the hands of someone that didn't win already. So hey Rob, get ready. So on the on the website, there's one item that's not a sharp, that's not a hat. It's not a beanie, it's it's not a hat. There's one item. Tell us how much that item cost. That's what we want to know. It's not a hat, but it's on the website. How much does it cost? So all you gotta do is put the price in the right. I'm rooting for Rob. I'm rooting for Robert. You can still win anything on the website. It just we want to know how much that one item is that's not a hat. I feel like we need that Jeopardy music plan.

SPEAKER_02 52:15

How much does it cost? Mondo, 19.30. Manda, manda, 19.30. There you go. Oh, Rob. Oh my god, Rob! You were so close.

SPEAKER_01 52:35

Hey Rob, you gotta buy one. You gotta just buy one now, man. I mean, you you've come so close.

SPEAKER_04 52:40

We'll well we'll all go send him tiny dinos so he can buy every everybody everybody send Rob some some money for two galaxies.

SPEAKER_02 52:49

Um oh uh Mike, dude, this has been this has been so fun. And uh look at uh our numbers are going down. Rob left. He's gone. He's gone. Look at he's he's not happy. Look at this. Resentments are building as we speak. Um Mike, thank you so much for being here with us. Thank you for sharing your experience, strength, and hope. Thank you for all the stuff that you do to put the word out, and for everybody out there recovering out loud, you know, you could potentially be saving someone's life. It's as simple as that. Um, we love you. We're so glad that you were here today, and uh, you know, everybody go uh soberhats.com um and get your gear. Uh we gave away four hats today. Congratulations to all of our winners, and uh, we will see you next week. Thanks for having me. I really appreciate it.

SPEAKER_04 53:51

Thanks.

SPEAKER_02 53:51

Absolutely. Thank you, Bretta. Thanks.