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Never Alone Live
Never Alone Live is a podcast dedicated to recovery, healing, and honest conversations about addiction and mental health.
Each episode features real stories from individuals in recovery, family members, and professionals who understand the challenges and the hope that recovery brings.
Recovery is not something anyone should face alone. This podcast exists to remind you that support is always possible, healing is real, and change happens every day.
Never Alone Live
Recovery Q&A | John Hayes & Krista Flanders
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In this episode John Hayes and Krista Flanders sit down for an open and honest Q&A conversation about recovery.
They ask each other questions they’ve prepared, along with questions that came in live from the audience, covering real experiences and perspectives.
If you’ve ever had questions about recovery, or you’re navigating it yourself, this conversation is for you.
Welcome! Welcome, welcome, welcome, everyone, to this week's edition of Never Alone Live. Uh, with you, as usual, is uh I'm Johnny and we have uh Krista Sober Barbie. Today's going to be kind of uh an interesting one because it's just Krista and I. It's kind of get to know your hosts, and uh and this should be a lot of fun. What we're gonna do today is we have prepared a few questions for one another that um we're going to ask each other and then we're going to uh open it up for comments. So, and we have a lot of friends that come on here, and uh we told them that they uh that that they're gonna be able to comment and uh and and we're gonna answer any questions that they have. So this should be an interesting day. Interesting day. How are you doing today, my friend?
SPEAKER_03I'm doing great. It's always interesting. Uh in the recovery world, I mean, we do all have a past, so I don't nothing's really surprised to me anymore.
SPEAKER_00So nothing surprises us anymore. Um and in why don't you uh you know what? Let's take the time, we'll introduce ourselves uh for people that you know have never watched us and stuff like that. You want to jump in, take a do a do a little uh do a little intro.
SPEAKER_03Hi, I'm Krista, a grateful recovering alcoholic, and I just celebrated 10 years sober in August, and I got sober in jail and then went to rehab and loved rehab and I loved the 12 steps and I loved recovery and I couldn't wait to come home until I felt accomplished. I felt like I had a purpose. So I came home and started recovering really loud back then, 10 years ago, and I didn't know anyone sober, and um I started to become a safe place in my community because I was just very loud and um people felt safe enough to come to me and ask me like where to go to treatment and meetings and stuff like that. And then I started TikTok during COVID being a new mom, and my husband had was struggling, and I kind of went viral overnight, and then I he got sober and I was like, Oh my gosh, I have a platform. So I've been consistently making videos and posting on social media for five years, and now we've gotten this cool little community, and I love it so much, and it brought us together, and then all the people in the comments I've met and become friends with, and it's it's been a wild ride, and I love it. And I the best is yet to come.
SPEAKER_00The best is yet to come. That's what a great I'm telling. So today we're gonna keep this real positive and we're gonna ask each other a couple questions, we're gonna field some questions from the comments, and this is gonna be so much fun. You guys can ask anything you want, and Krista will answer it. Uh, and we've got friends joining us already. Uh, Katie's here, and Brandy's here, and Kelly, and Divine Love. What's happening? Is that Koshana? Kishana, it's a pleasure, Koshana, and then our friend Tiffany. Tiffany has been on every single Never Alone Live, and we're so glad you're here. Um, so uh, you want to hear so and I'm Johnny, I'm an alcoholic and a drug addict, and I have uh I'll celebrate 22 years in January. So I have 21 years of of continuous sobriety. I've never um found the need to pick up since my very first drink. I'm uh, and Krista is as well, uh what the sober community calls a one chip wonder, meaning I've gotten uh I've never had to return a chip. Um so so that's me. And um, you know, we uh so we've prepared a few questions for one another. So we'll ask each other a question. Here we'll do this. We'll ask each other one question, we'll answer it, and we'll probably both answer it. And uh then uh then we'll go to comments and then we'll come back. And I've got because I've got a couple questions. I think they're a couple doozies. Uh so here's here's a good one. You ready for this one? Am I what yeah? Uh what's the what's the best thing you've learned about yourself since finding recovery?
SPEAKER_03Um that I am dependable. So for so long, I mean I come from a large family. I feel like I was a great family, but I'm the oldest of five. And for like most of my life, I've I it was I've been thinking about this recently too. I've been I was kind of like not shut out, but it was hard to get attention. There's a lot of us, a lot of us kids and stuff. So I never felt like I was like taken seriously. And I mean, I think I am a little funny, but I always felt like I was like the joke almost, like in a way. And now that like since this these last 10 years, people take me seriously. Like the mayor will listen to me, the chief of police will listen to me, people from my past will listen to me, and um I have more to offer than just being like the class clown in a way.
SPEAKER_00That is a great answer, you know. Finding so I you know when asking these questions, I started thinking about it myself. And what's the best thing that's happened to me since finding recovery is I truly found my purpose, right? I you know, I when we're when we're out there and our self-esteem is at our at the lowest, um, I don't know what the hell I want to do, what who I'm gonna be, what I should be, yada yada. Coming to recovery gave me purpose, it made me useful again, and helping others, uh especially helping others in recovery, is my favorite thing in the world. And watching people recover and seeing them get get more and more days has been the truest joy in my life. Next to watching my kids grow, watching my friends get nine days and ten days and twenty days and two months and two years, and and then them not having a higher power, and then them teaching higher power to someone else. It's it's it's amazing. It really is. So, you know, coming to recovery, I got a purpose, you know, and and it's been amazing. Uh okay, so your turn.
SPEAKER_03What are some of the unexpected blessings that came in long-term recovery?
SPEAKER_00The unexpected blessings that came in long-term recovery. You know, it's 24 hours a day, right? And you just keep going, and you just keep going. You do you and you 24 hours add up, and they add up until next thing you know, you're an old man and your beard is gray. And I used, I'm telling you, this thing used to be so dark brown. And you know, and but the blessings that have come, there's there's hundreds and hundreds, you know, my relationship with God, my higher power, how it's evolved over the years. You want to talk about so I mean I came into this program spiritually bankrupt. I I didn't have a God, I didn't want to have a God. No, thank you. And, you know, now because of open-mindedness, because of willingness and getting outside of myself and changing, you know, I have found religion and I am a Christian and I am now a follower of Jesus Christ, and I was baptized January 5th of this year, and you know, and and and I'm on the worship team and I sing for for for my church, and it's amazing being able to give back there, you know, because I'm telling you, when I went to church, I felt the energy, I felt the energy from the worship team, and it energized me. So now when I get to be on stage, I give all of my energy because I want to give it away the same way it was given to me, just like just like the program, right? We give it away to keep it, and and it's so rewarding. So, but if you'd have told me two years ago, you know, when I was 19 years sober, that I was gonna be baptized or that I'd be singing Christian music on, or I'd be listening to Christian music in my car, I'd have told you you're a crazy person. But here I am, right? And and these are the gifts, the open-mindedness that's led to the evolution of my higher power. That's uh that's that's a great question. That's a great question. What about you? What are the what are the gifts that uh you can't say the same answer? You can't I already answered this.
SPEAKER_03It's pretty close though, but that I wasn't I I should be thinking of that as my first, but that is a big one. I was baptized in April. Um and I didn't think there was a lot of things I was still like stuck on in long-term recovery, like my anger, and like there was just so many you could say character defects or shortcomings or and they're kind of they're being lifted off of me because I've put more into my relationship with God. But um my biggest um blessing, well, first off, and in rehab, I think when I started reading the AA book, seeing that there's promises, that's like what kept me reading. I'm like, what? I there's promises like you're gonna promise me and like I hold promise, like I'm gonna hold you to it. And they weren't wrong. Um and because that's a big word to promise something. And um I used to I used to make promises and never they never happened. I let so many people down. So but um my biggest one is I always wanted to be a mom and I got sober at 29 and a lot of my friends had kids in their 20s, and I just I didn't at this point I just didn't think I was gonna be able to be a mom. And I ended up falling in love and getting married and becoming a mom of two, and not just being a mom, but my kids have never seen me drink, and they don't ever have to see me be crazy like crazy Krista. Um my and one of my nieces too has never seen me drink. I have a 16-year-old niece that I don't know if she remembers a lot of it, but like I was crazy with her, like crazy, and um I can just see the trauma that some of these kids witness, and I see it today too. And some like people I know are just there's so many sad situations that kids are put through, and my kids don't have to go through that, and I I I know how to protect them, and I think being a sober mom is one of the best blessings that I got.
SPEAKER_00Amazing and being a wife, and of course, and being a wife, all right. So we've got a lot of people in the comments, and so we're asked today. Uh Krista and I are we've asked each other a couple questions and we're answering. And uh um, we uh we've asked it, give us a question in the comments. We're gonna answer any questions, uh, and we've got a couple of good ones in here already. But before we get to that, our buddy Mike is in here. Mike is from soberhats.com. If you see my hat, if you see Krista's hat, they say sober period. They also can say clean period. And uh what's the ones that he has for sober ally? Sober ally, you know. So even if you're not in recovery and you want to uh support and recover out loud, then boom, this is uh this is the guy for you.
SPEAKER_03So zero proof, zero proof.
SPEAKER_00So we're gonna give away uh three hats today. We're gonna give away three hats today. Um so the first hat is um, and so what we need you to do is we're gonna email Mike. Email Mike, and you gotta email Mike the key phrase. Brandy, I know you don't like this one, but but bear with me. We're gonna have we're gonna be giving away a few hats. So the first person to email um Mike, uh that Krista is smarter than Johnny. All you gotta do is email Mike at Mike's email address, which is soberhats at gmail.com. That there he is, soberhats at gmail.com. First person to email Krista is smarter than Johnny wins the first hat. And uh and we're gonna have fun today. This is super positive today, and uh so Mike, let me know who the first winner is, and uh and this one's gonna this is gonna be fun. Um okay, so have you read any of the questions in the comments?
SPEAKER_03Some of them. I'm scared to press any buttons on here. Um, what's your favorite saying from AA? Like a cliche one.
SPEAKER_00Who has that?
SPEAKER_03Amberlynn.
SPEAKER_00Amberlynn.
SPEAKER_03Amber, it's Amber.
SPEAKER_00Yes. What's your favorite AA NA cliche that secretly hits hard every time? Keep it simple, one day at a time, yada yada. That's a great one. That's a great one. What's yours?
SPEAKER_03I kind of have two because one that's like really short and one that's kind of a little long. Um, Faith over fear. I have to like remind myself all the time. Like, just your faith is stronger than your fear, you gotta you gotta just get out of the fear mode. But faith without works is dead. That's really my favorite, favorite quote.
SPEAKER_00Faith without works is dead. That's not what the work in. That is a good one. Jeff Vickers, are you still here? Jeff Vickers was in the comments for a few minutes. Uh, Jeff wrote a book, and uh, I actually I have my copy. Oh, an actual physical book, Jeff Vickers. It's called Believe, Behave, Become. Uh, he sent me a PDF, so I've already gotten to read it, and it's uh it's a great book. Everybody should go out and get it if uh and follow Jeff Vickers. Um, so my favorite is uh is my favorite na cliche is keep on keeping on. Uh keep on keeping on. I actually have it uh tattooed on me. Uh and and uh keep on keeping on was one of my grandmother's sayings. Uh my grandmother, of course, was 26 years sober when I got into the program, and she was my everything. And she told me keep it simple, stupid, and she told me uh keep on keeping on. She would write me cards for all of the uh like your birthday and Christmas or Valentine's Day, Easter. She gave me cards for all these things, and and it always said Johnny, and then it said love grandma, and it always said keep on keeping on, keep it simple. So now, whenever you know, I on I'm on Facebook and I've got a big recovery community on Facebook. Whenever somebody puts in their sober date, um, you know, and talks about their anniversary, it's congratulations, so proud of you. Keep on keeping on. And uh, you know, I spread that message, and it's it's been extremely wonderful, extremely, extremely wonderful. Uh and the winner of the first hat is Amber Leonardo.
SPEAKER_01Is that Amber?
SPEAKER_00That's Ember. That's Amberlynn. Um, as is one of our friends from TikTok, and she is the winner of the first hat. So we're gonna give away two more hats. Uh the the next hat we're gonna have a we're gonna have a contest in a few minutes. Um, and uh, but the third hat is the person that comes up with the best question today in the comments. The person that comes up with the question that Kristen and I both say, oh, that's a good one. That's uh that's how we're gonna rate this, by the way. So it's uh it's so Brandy, you better come up with a good question. See Brandy, I told you this is because Brandy is a little technologically challenged, uh, and she ain't quick with the emails like other ones. Um okay, so um Katie, our friend Katie asked the question a while back. How do you start reaching out to your community to spread the word? That's uh that's a big question. That's a big question. Krista, you are doing a phenomenal job of reaching out to your community and being being getting bigger, right? How uh how have you gone about that?
SPEAKER_03Anytime I see an opportunity like an elected official or just anyone talking about anything, addiction or recovery, I that's my that's my go-to. Like, I'll do an email, I'll find out. Like, I'm a researcher, so I'll figure out their email, I'll figure out their phone number. I mean, what's the worst they could say is no. Um, my first time going to a town hall meeting, I was asked because every state was awarded the opioid settlement fund some money, and then it's allocated to different towns and cities in your state, and they get they got a large amount and then they get a smaller amount out of that every year. And there your state should have a website that shows like there's proof, so they're held accountable too, you know, they're not just taking the money and rent. Well, they could be, but um and this the chief of police in 2023, yeah, 2023. No, wait, it was last year. I'm sorry, 2024, I think. Um, he reached out to me and asked where we should put the money. And I was like, What you want my opinion? Like he actually came to someone who because I just I I post videos, I speak up, I'm always sharing my testimony, like on my Facebook and stuff. And I actually got the opportunity to go, and that was my first town hall meeting ever. And I recorded it and I posted it kind of went viral on here on TikTok. But after that, I learned, oh my gosh, everyone has a right to a public comment. So then I started going to all the communities around me, the county, and you get three minutes, and I would write it down because I because they do like a big basketball buzzer when it's up, like it's kind of intimidating. So I wanted to make sure I got everything I needed to be said, and I just kind of speak on what we need. And then after after every meeting I've ever attended, I'll either get letters in the mail from people I've never met before that I don't even know how they get my address, but they do just congratulating me on my sobriety and thanking me for speaking up because no one wants to talk about it. So it's your opportunity. Like I've become friends with the attorney general of South Carolina, like he's listening to me because I saw he had a fight against fentanyl, and I reached out and then I got to meet him and he gave me his phone number, and it was just um very encouraging that they were listening to me, and then I just kept going more and more.
SPEAKER_00That's uh that's enormous. And you know, we had a couple weeks ago, we had the chief of police from Charleston County, South Carolina, where they're seeing a 40% decrease in in overdoses, which is amazing, right? Amazing. And he uh he was on here and he was very straight up with us, and he told us, go talk to the chief of police, go talk to, go talk to people. They say they don't have time, they're they're full of shit. Go and talk to them and talk to your chief, talk to the people in the community, raise, you know, just ask what they're doing with the opio opioid settlement funds. How are they doing the what are they doing to combat, you know, um the different things going on in the community? Because uh, we all get a voice, we all get a voice, and they need to they need to listen. And chief told us that. So I'm telling you that if you guys didn't watch that interview with Chief Christopher Rosier, he is awesome, and he actually responded to every single message in here, and he's he's gotten a bunch of messages that got that video got a lot of views, and he responded to so many messages, he's such a good person, and we're gonna have him on here again uh in the in the coming months. Um, okay, so one more question from here. Our friend Tiffany. Tiffany Tiffany has been here every Never Alone Live. I'm telling you, I love Tiffany. And now she's at one of our uh she's on our Tiki Talkie as well. And uh we go live on TikTok every morning, and a lot of people in here are our friends on TikTok that come over here and they're supporting us and they want to ask uh Barbie all sorts of personal questions, and this is awesome. Um, but Tiffany asks what's one coping skill that has made the biggest difference for you guys?
SPEAKER_01So coping skills.
SPEAKER_00I got you know I I I have I have two two men well there's a there's a lot right you know you know we get feelings right the best thing about getting sober is you get your feelings back worse thing getting sober is you get your feelings backing mechanisms how do I cope with these feelings and for me it's meetings I I went to a lot of meetings my first two years in recovery I was at a meeting every day and uh the phone having a network of people, your sponsors so important, but you know, having a network of people that I can call and having a fellowship that I can learn how to be a new person from, those are that's awesome. And then uh lastly, of course, is prayer and let and prayer is probably first on the list because first thing I do is I pray, you know, pause when agitated, pray, let God in the situation, and then I can I can go about my day. What about you, Krista?
SPEAKER_03Um, mine's kind of like yours, but it's talking about it. Talking, I used to not talk about any of things that were like really bothering me. I would be a complainer in my drinking days, but I never, it wasn't like really what was going on. And we were talking about this earlier. Um, it's really anything in life, not just recovery. Like I I'm in recovery myself, but I love someone who has struggled. So loving an addict. Um, I'm a stepmom, finding stepmom support groups, like any, like really any problem or any issue I'm going through, talking to someone who's been through it is probably the best way I can get through something. Because I I hear a success story or a miracle happen and it gives me hope. And it's like, okay, I can get through this. They got through it, I can get through it. And it's been the the probably the best thing I've done is talking about what's going on.
SPEAKER_02What is the question?
SPEAKER_00I'm reading some of the questions, and I like that some of them are they're now directed to us. Uh Katie Graham said, uh, how does self-esteem play a role in Barbie's recovery? Okay, so you get to think about this for a second. So how does self-esteem play a role in Barbie's recovery? And then uh Tiffany asked, and she even said, here's a good one. This if recovery had an award show, what category would Johnny win? So we'll uh we'll come to we'll come back to the oh the award show, uh, because probably class clown. Um, but uh, but I love that. What is uh what is self what role does self-esteem play for you?
SPEAKER_03It's huge now, but it's uh it's still hard for me to to take compliments. It really is. I get uncomfortable when people make me the attention and I used to want the attention. I used to drink to get the attention. And now that I like it, it still makes me a little nervous because I think I'm still in shock that people like that I am it like a good person because I mean I I've been sober 10 years, but I'm 39 years old. There's 29 years that I was just not in active addiction the whole time, but I was like a a lot like as a child, I was like a lost child. So I um I really think that um kids are busting in my room right now over there, um looking for iPads, but um it's it it means a lot to me now that I like people like me. I I don't know, I I have good self-esteem, but it still makes me ner I don't know, it's still uncomfortable. And one of our friends right here, Robert Worth, he's hype recovery, he talked about this not too long ago about like it is it's hard to hear compliments and stuff about yourself. It it just I don't know if that's just a natural thing or oh yeah, I'm not I'm not a fan.
SPEAKER_00I'm not a fan either. Uh compliments don't do it for me. Uh you know, I it's you know, it's like gratitude. Gratitude is an action word, right? If I'm if I'm if I'm grateful, I gotta show that I'm grateful. I can't just say that I'm grateful. Um, but self-esteem plays such a big part. And uh and and Katie actually came back in another question from Jayla. How does self-esteem play a role in Barbie's recovery and Johnny's? So no, I get I get asked that too. And self-esteem is so huge to talk about because when I came to the program, I didn't have any. I hated myself. I hated what I looked at when I when I I hated who I saw when I looked in the mirror, and it was it was horrible. And you know, it to get self-esteem, I have to do esteemable acts. And I have to change. If nothing changes, nothing changes. I have to do different things. Uh, you know, and instead of all the bad stuff that I did and all the harms that I did, I have to look at those. I have to look at my resentments, my character defects, my flaws. Doing the steps are esteemable acts. And, you know, and you know, I like to make my bed every day, and I talk about this all the time. You know, I make my bed every day, and and I feel good every day, every morning. I wake, I get up and I make my bed right away because that's what I think a man's supposed to do. And and that's just my personal thought and feeling, but it makes me feel good, like I'm starting my day right. And you know, we can do all sorts of little esteemable acts all the time, holding a door open for somebody, you know, and doing it intentionally because I am trying to help someone and I'm trying to live a different life. These are all things that that help with self-esteem. Um, what do you think?
SPEAKER_03Should we uh should we I have I have a question from Brandy because I'm over here on TikTok too. She said she's on three devices trying to win this hat. Okay. Um my question how do you keep the 12 steps vibrant in love and filled with hope in your life?
SPEAKER_00Oh, what's your answer on that one?
SPEAKER_03You gotta, you gotta, it's a faith without works is dead. You gotta live it. You can't just I've seen a lot of people through the years just do the the bookwork, just write it down just because, but you get what you put into it. You gotta you gotta do a daily surrender, you gotta like literally live the steps every day and be real and authentic about it and give it your all. And it does like uh the promises, they're real, and they they wouldn't put the word promise in that book almost a hundred years ago if they didn't mean it, because they would be being sued probably.
SPEAKER_00You know, that then you know you gotta give it a way to keep it is you know, watching people in recovery, watching people in recovery get recovery, watching the light come back in people's eyes, that's what keeps it fresh and vibrant, that's what keeps the spirit moving, you know, seeing God work through people's lives and seeing people change and seeing people get better, and seeing people who who acted out of anger and and would not act out of anger anymore, seeing people accept and have patience and tolerance and actually living the principles and seeing those promises come to life, you know. Um, you know, the 10th step promises, you know, we recoil from it like a hot flame, you know. And that's it's it's the way that it goes with alcohol and drugs, you know. We meet these people that are new in recovery who are having a tough time, and the thoughts are in their mind and they're thinking about it. Oh, should I do it? Should I not do it? Should I do it? Should I not do it? But eventually, after I do these steps, I recoil it from it like a hot flame, meaning I don't even think of the idea. The idea isn't even the idea of should I or shouldn't I is gone. It's shouldn't I, I shouldn't do that, and I know that, and it's because I work the steps, but you can't have the 10th step promises until you do the 10th step, you know. But uh, but we do the work and we see people uh you know heal, and it's amazing, amazing, amazing. Um, what do you say? We get give away another hat. Uh um the we'll do one more email to Mike. Um, you can pick what you what people have to email. This is the way this is the way we change it. This is how we how we do it. So, whatever Krista says here, you have to email this to Mike. Uh, it's soberhats at gmail.com. And you email what Chris is about to say to Mike, and the first one to do it wins hat number two.
SPEAKER_03First one to send their sober date to Mike wins a hat.
SPEAKER_00First one you don't like that? Yeah, I'm I'm reading, I'm trying to read comments, so we got a lot of comments. We got a lot of questions. It's uh it's pretty awesome. No, um, what is what a great question, Brandy Harris. Brandy's telling us that her question is a great question. Um let's see. Because and uh so pardon?
SPEAKER_03Sober date to Mike. He said ready, set, go.
SPEAKER_00Ready, set, go. Uh so the first person to send their sobriety date to Mike is the winner.
SPEAKER_03Umice, you have to send it to Brandy.
SPEAKER_00All right, so I have a great second question for for Krista. So we came up with a few questions for each other, and uh, this is one that I'm really kind of looking forward to the answer to. So this was a this was a you know, um, so my question, and I actually asked her this before. I shared this with her before, so uh it wouldn't be completely um oh no, where did it where did it go? Uh this is how has your recovery grown since going live every day? Uh and recovery out loud in general. So since we've been, you know, we've been doing this TikTok live every morning. Well, we we've just paused weekends, but we were doing it every morning since the 4th of July. That's four months. We've been at live every day. How has your journey um how has your journey changed? How has your recovery grown?
SPEAKER_03I'm talking about it more. I'm we're I'm finding out more stuff about things I need to work on, or um I'm learning so much about like other people's recovery. It's it's made my mind a lot more open. And like we're like worldwide, we have people from other countries, hearing people in England talking about what they're going through, and it's how universal it is, and it's grown so much. And um, I don't even I I love recovery, I don't get sick of it. I there's always room to grow, and it's really about healing. And um, I work a different program now, a faith-based program. So it's cool that people want to know more about that. And um I love how many more friends I have now, and they're like real friends that care about me and have heard my worst moments, but love me so much, and there's so much compassion, and I don't have any judgment. I mean, you have you have some weird trolls that pop up every once in a while, but there's a block option, so that's very helpful. And um, if you don't like something, you can just leave. Uh, but I love the lives, it's keeping me a lot more accountable too and consistent and things. And um, since we've been going live, I'm I'm doing my steps. I'm actually facilitating a group in person, so that's kind that's really cool to have this going on in like technology world and then real life, and it's just it's cool, it's cool.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I mean, you you your recovery out loud story is pretty awesome. I mean, there we meet people all the time that uh that tell us that they have been following you for years and years. You they've been following you in your entire journey on social media, and that's gotta be pretty awesome, you know. That's gotta be pretty awesome when somebody says, Oh, you know, I found you four years ago, and they're just reaching out to you today. And that's that's pretty dope, right?
SPEAKER_03That is cool. It's it's just you never know who's watching, you know, and that's why it's important to always be leading by example. My oldest child's about to be six, and watching them just kids are like sponges, but adults are the same way, like they're watching, and I mean, and it's important to be real and raw and not just all butterflies and rainbows, because it's not we're we're human and things happen and we fall short, and um it's it's crazy because TikTok really likes sad stuff, so you have to start with something sad to like hook them, but then the best part about recovery when someone finds it is there's always a happy ending. I mean, when someone finds recovery, there's a happy ending, so the thriller, the horror, and the happiness.
SPEAKER_00It's it's it's kind of amazing. So I I I I'm not anonymous, right? And everybody around me knows that I am in recovery, I'm sober, and uh and now joining up with you and doing this TikTok thing in the morning, I can honestly say that my I don't think my recovery's ever been stronger. You know, granted, we we're we're on a meeting every day, and some of these meetings are an hour and a half, two hours, and then and then we still jump into some more meetings later. And it's uh it's awesome. It's awesome. I don't think, I don't think my spirituality's ever been stronger because talking about God, talking about recovery, and actually being in the thick of it, you know, is the key. All that other all that other stuff is irrelevant, all the the social media drama, all the trolls, all the the stuff in the back end, it's all teaching me lessons, you know, it's all teaching me lessons and it's giving me an opportunity to teach lessons. If someone is talking about me, you know, I am not going to get angry. I'm not going to, the book tells me I've ceased fighting everything and everyone. So I'm not gonna fight. It doesn't it doesn't do anything. And by leading by example, you know, I've other people get to see that and see that. And and one of our friends, uh Carly, I'm gonna throw Carly's name out there. And Carly had an issue at work and she had something going on, and she told me uh the next day, and she says, Johnny, you know, I remembered what you do, and you know, pause when angry when agitated, cease fighting everything and everyone. It doesn't do anything anyway. All it does is make everybody more angry and make the community more angry, and that's letting the devil win. So I don't do that. I don't do that today. Where it's all about love and peace and joy and happiness, and uh, and we are free from that. We are free. I don't have to be angry. I get to be happy, joyous, and free today. And come here and and ask, listen to fun questions and give away hats and all that other stuff. Oh, we got to talk about Halloween. Halloween is this Friday. Halloween is this Friday, uh, and we'll be live in the morning. And I want to have a Halloween costume contest. The winner, who, and I get to be the judge, the best costume contest. Uh, if the best costume who wins gets a I'm gonna buy them a recover out loud hoodie. This is my recover out loud hoodie. It's got my sobriety date on it. If you guys aren't following Recover Out Loud and Dan Harris, you're missing out. Um, so that's on Friday, and we'll I'll talk about it more again tomorrow morning, but uh figured I'd announce it now while everybody's watching. Costume contest on TikTok live on uh morning miracles. Whoever wins, I'm gonna buy a uh recover out loud hoodie. It'll be awesome.
SPEAKER_03It's a good hoodie, too. It's a good hoodie, and they have different um patterns and stuff. The one I have has huge wings on the back and my sober day, and it's the best quality. So recover out loud. Do you want my question?
SPEAKER_00Oh yes, yes. Well, but J Love, J Love Jen Custer says, Do you both do recovery out loud within y'all's church community? Look at she made me say y'all. Y'all, y'all's church community. Yeah, I don't say y'all, but but I'm reading it. Y'all's church community, if so, how? And I know you do, and I do as well, but how do you do that?
SPEAKER_03Um, when I found out that I could do recovery at church two years ago and they had childcare and they fed you, I was like, sign me up. And I went and I got the book and I do recovery alive, which is kind of like celebrate recovery meets AA. Um, the author, John Eklund, is a therapist, but got sober through AA, worked on the the board of celebrate recovery and during COVID wrote this book. And it's a 12-step process. So good. And it's popping up in churches all over America. And I got the opportunity to go to their convention in February. It changed my life. Changed my life. Seeing they had um a motorcycle ministry there called Broken Chains. These guys were had motorcycle vests on that said, I love Jesus, their sober dates, I carry Narcan. I'm like, this is so cool. All walks of life. And then the pastor who's not in recovery, but talked about all where his shortcomings were and that he wasn't perfect, and it was a church revolution. Um, it's just really cool because I love AA. I love it, but I wasn't able to say exactly who my higher power was in there. So now I can claim Jesus for out loud, and um, it's it's a movement. I mean, Jesus is all over TikTok now. So and I don't get any hate for it, and actually my numbers have gone up since I talk about my face too on social media.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that's uh and and talking. I see, like I said, we were talking about before recovery out loud. You know, I talk about my recovery everywhere I am, and uh and I shared this with uh Krista and a few other people that my church, my pastor who I have become friends with, actually used me in one of the sermons for talking about surrender and recovery. And he said, My friend Johnny, who's got 21 years sober, and it was pretty awesome. And I have friends from church who have joined us on TikTok. I have friends on church who watch these lives when I share them on my personal page. Um, and it's uh it's awesome. It's awesome being able to bring my journey of you know not having a God to suddenly going to church and you know, being in recovery and being able to share that there and share the love and you know help others, you know, because there's everybody needs help everywhere. And you know, if there's somebody in the church that's suffering, I want to be there. And I and I can't be there if I'm if I'm being quiet. So recovery out loud is very important in church, I think. Um okay. So what's your last question?
SPEAKER_03What was the moment you realized recovery was more than drinking?
SPEAKER_00Oh, why are you gonna give me a banger at the very end? When did I realize recovery was more than drinking? It took a long time, took a long time because it's all I thought about. All I thought about were drinking and drugs, and I thought that being in recovery just meant no more drinking and no more drugs. And and it takes a long time for to realize and to for my mind to open up to the idea that oh, this isn't, you know, drinking and drugs are but a symptom. It says that in the book. The problem is up here, and with the, you know, the the choices I make, the decisions I make, my actions and reactions. And um, so I had a friend Brian uh when I first got sober. I've talked about Brian before. Brian was the coolest guy you ever met in your entire life with his slick back hair and he put his sock, he put his smokes in his sock so he didn't mess up his pants. He was just cool. And he told me, he says it takes 18 months for the fog to lift. And um, when uh when I got 18 months sober, I told him, I said, Brian, it's 18 months. I don't think the fog has left. He said, give it another 18 months. True story. Um, what about you? When when did you realize that it was more than drinking?
SPEAKER_03Um when I started, when I was in rehab. Well, so I was sober 30 days before I went to rehab, but it was in jail, and I was just hearing what other inmates were saying about being sober, their experiences in rehab, just all sorts of like treatment core, all those options. Um, and I had never been to rehab and I didn't ever want to go, but I was kind of out of options and had the chance and took the suggestion and went. But when they were, because I was in like a lot of workshops teaching us about different things in the big book and stuff. And I remember going like I was mad. I was like, why was I am I just learning about all this now? Every single person on this planet needs to be doing the steps, like when I learned about the steps and how it wasn't anything to do with drinking. It was about just fixing my wrongs and and being a good person and having a relationship with God and getting the like they're giving me a chance to say sorry for all the things I did. Like it was just there's a whole process and directions, the simple the simple, they are simple directions. We just like to complicate it. And um I think being there not distracted by anything because I was saying last night I was in a live and they were talking about like sponsorship and stuff. And I just I don't think I could have done it the right way if I didn't go to rehab. Everyone's different. But for me I had to be removed from all the distractions and just all that because I I probably would have ended up with a horrible sponsor and not want and not wanting to do anything they said or just isolating or something like that. But I didn't have a choice in rehab and they told me you do everything we say you won't have to come back and they were right. Like I did everything they said. And um it all made sense and it clicked and I think that's another reason I recover so loud too is I want the whole world to know that this has nothing to do with drugs and alcohol. We all need to heal like go on my Facebook and see the feed it's just complaining and depression and people mad at each other people bashing people and I'm like you the 12 steps will help all this so I just think everyone on this earth can benefit from a 12 step program.
SPEAKER_00I agree wholeheartedly did you see in the comments who won the second hat she did Brandy Harris won the second hat. Mike sent Mike sent us a text message fun dip brandy wins so Brandy congratulations on winning the uh the second hat uh we have one more hat we're gonna give away the the winner of this one is the one who comes up with the best question Mike you've been in here uh have you uh read any questions which whose question was the best um i'm uh I'm I'm I'm torn um so Amber asked a question for us uh if your recovery journey were a road trip what song would be blasting as you cross state lines isn't that a good question that's a good question what's your recovery song what do you listen to that that just says man that's it really like jelly roll is like I found him in rehab 10 years ago he wasn't he didn't have a lot of followers or anything and it was like underground music and um his music's a lot about recovery and I um I make a lot of my videos to his music and I think I think I would go with the liar song nothing but a liar because that booze is a liar look at you guys get you guys got Chris to singing on uh on live you ain't you ain't never heard Chris to sing on live before and I love worship music too like anything Brandon like I feel like because he's got tattoos and stuff he like helps us kind of get over into the worship side too so yeah I mean it's it recovery music is such a big aspect and uh oh and Skylar Ray Skylar Ray who was in his music is number one Skylar Ray's music is so awesome Benjamin Lerner's music is so awesome um there's a Christian singer out there that uh Joel turned me out to his name is Brian Joel and and and Joel my buddy Joel Anthony from the sober sessions says uh Johnny go check this guy out he's live right now and I went and checked him out and he's playing my favorite Christian song which is gratitude and it's so good and so powerful but when I talk about recovery there's there's a few songs that are really good for and important in my recovery Clean by Depeche Mode that's a great one um but I gotta go starting over by McLamore. That's the song that I talk about all the time you know you know being a one ship owner I've never relapsed and McLamore wrote a song specifically about his relapse and he has a song called Other Side that was on his first album that became big in the in the recovery community up and down the West Coast in all the rehabs right and then he relapsed and and he felt all the guilt shame and remorse and wrote this song called Starting Over and when people relapse and they say oh we relapsed it's kind of like the topic for the Zoom meeting last night um the you know they're they're filled with the guilt shame and remorse but I I always tell them they can they have something that I don't have they can teach to other people the redemption of coming back and in the end of Macklemore's song he says if I can be an example of getting sober then I can be an example of starting over if I can be an example of getting sober then I can be an example of starting over such powerful lyrics that just speak volumes and I and I and anyone who's who's out there who went and tried it again and found out it still ain't working you know they get to teach that to other people they get to teach them the things that that you and I haven't gone through you know that's experience strength and hope that we don't have and I want to I want to tell I want to teach everybody and help everybody everything but um that's one thing that I can't relate to however you know Macklemore gave me that song to help other people because they can they are an example if you can be example getting sober you're even bigger example for starting over because that takes a lot it takes a lot I don't know if I got it in me. If uh if I went back what and all I'd come if I'd come back you know so that's why I stay that's why I stay I don't got an I don't got another getting sober in me. Um let's see have you uh have you been reading any questions did Mike uh did Mike pick a winner I don't know I did see Marie wants us to go back and comment answers on all the questions we didn't get today so I think I will work on that too after this live ends I will go back and answer them in the comments uh it's not letting me go back there is one other one that I want that I saw Deborah Mason you Debra hello Deborah thank you for being here uh she asked a really good question now I can't find it um dang it oh how do you cope with the feelings and emotions you have to deal with once you have become okay so how do you deal how do you cope with all the feelings and emotions you have to deal with once you become sober I have a hard time with the guilt that I still carry and sometimes it makes my recovery hard you know we're and this is and it kind of goes back to what we were talking about before with feelings but um how do you cope with those feelings and emotions that you deal with once you become sober that's the that's the the the biggest thing that we talk about. So I don't mind talking about it again.
SPEAKER_03Yeah I think um prayer is my biggest thing though I like I don't have the answers and it's gonna just give me anxiety and make me spiral by trying to figure it out on my own and that's where that daily surrender comes in. I give it to God and I ask for help and sometimes I have to ask a human too but it's really my relationship with God and he doesn't answer everything right away. But I do get some peace and also writing too maybe writing your prayer down it's just it you gotta release it. You're gonna explode if you keep all this bottled up inside and um it's the only way I've worked through shame and I mean it's it it makes you worry it makes the it's just it's not good.
SPEAKER_00You got to get it off you and uh Deborah Debra today was so fun and so I'm so glad we got to have all of our friends in here and we get to talk about it and uh and yeah this was awesome and all you guys are awesome. Thank you for tuning in thank you for all the love and the support Mike from soberheads.com thank you for everything that you do and uh and Friday is uh we're gonna do uh uh the Halloween costume contest uh that I get to be the judge for um and I I'm bribed easily and if uh and whoever wins is gonna I'm gonna buy a recover out loud hoodie for and it'll have your sobriety date on it and it's awesome. And take a picture in your hat and tag soberhats.com uh just started making recovery videos so I'm stoked to wear my new hat Deborah we're stoked too winners share pics of your hat thank you everyone for being here with us thank you for joining us on our journey and allowing us to be on yours um you know any questions comments concerns please uh message Krista God loves you so do we and with that we're out there