Women in Recovery & Empowerment | Trish Kane

In this special Women’s History Month episode of Never Alone Live, Trish Kane joins the conversation to discuss women in recovery, empowerment, healing, and finding strength through sobriety. Trish shares her personal recovery journey, the struggles she faced before getting sober, and how recovery became a path toward reclaiming her life, confidence, and purpose.

The conversation explores what true empowerment really means, breaking cycles of self-destruction, and the importance of women supporting women through healing and recovery. 

Recovery is possible. You are never alone.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:14

Okay, welcome, welcome, welcome everyone to uh Never Alone Live, and we are here as usual with Krista and uh so Krista is the sober Barbie, and I'm Johnny from Never Alone Recovery, and we are we have the greatest guest, uh Trish Kane, a friend of Never Alone Live. She's been on here multiple times, but today is different. Today is our first live for Women's History Month, and so our our live today is women in recovery and empowerment. Uh isn't this a great one? Isn't this a great topic? Yes, I'm excited.

SPEAKER_02 1:00

Girl power. I'm all about the girl power. Yes, let's go.

SPEAKER_01 1:04

Girl power.

SPEAKER_02 1:06

Girl power.

SPEAKER_01 1:07

Yes, and uh um okay, so what I did is I looked up the what is empowerment, right? And and just a quick Google definition, authority or power given to someone to do something. Um, but I really like this description. Listen to this, listen to this. Are you ready? Uh empowerment, the process of becoming stronger and more competent, especially in controlling one's life and claiming one's rights. Oh, is that so good?

SPEAKER_02 1:44

Love that. Claiming one's rights.

SPEAKER_01 1:47

That's so good, right? So here we are. We're talking about empowerment. Trish, uh, so great to have you. Let's uh let's talk, let's introduce people who never met you before. Um, and I got a bunch of questions for you about this topic, but what uh let's talk about who is Trish.

SPEAKER_02 2:04

Hi, for those that have never met me and never seen my face, I am Trish Kane. I am in recovery. My recovery date is November 17, 2014. Um, so a little bit over 11.25 years. And uh basically I tried to uh get sober for probably about four years prior to the grand finale, as I call it. And I struggled with staying stopped, even though I had a lie that my brain was playing in my head that told me I could stop when I wanted to, but just not yet, you know. And um, I wound up actually dying and didn't think that was gonna happen to me, but that was not a good day before the dying part. Uh that day lasted from Friday night to Sunday. Um, I know Saturday night until Monday. Um, and it wasn't it wasn't a good time. Uh two strokes, nine-day coma, went to the other side through the tunnel. Uh, had to learn how to walk, talk, think everything again. Um, had a real lot of ailments from the strokes and the OD that I experienced. And um, I love this topic because uh today I'm the founder of a platform and a community and a movement called Healerverse that helps people to heal spiritually and holistically, uh, which is the 11th step in any 12-step program and the often forgot one. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:47

That dude, so the the fact that you have found recovery after, you know, a very traumatic experience and have taken off since. And you know, being a business owner, and you know, I dote on Trish a lot, I know, but uh, she's a business owner. She just got back from India where she spent her birthday and travels the world by herself and you know, and is on you know, boards of companies and does uh, you know, conferenced uh panels and all this other stuff. So she is, you know, the when we talk about empowerment, right? You know, and the I'm gonna read this one more time. The process of becoming stronger and more confident, especially in controlling one's life and claiming one's rights, you know. We have the right now to to become bigger and better people. And now with you know, women in recovery, you know, this is the story that I hope that they all hear and say, I can do that too, you know. And we got a bunch of our friends in the comments, and uh, we're asking the comment, what do women in recovery struggle with? So we're gonna read some of those as we go along. But I have a question, you know. I've got a lot, I really did a lot of questions, we did a lot of research for this one, you know. Um, balance. Let's talk about I want to talk about balance, you know, and being a woman in recovery and being a business owner. How do you balance recovery and business and self-care and all the other things that you need to balance to make it all work? And you're on mute.

SPEAKER_02 5:37

Yes, because the dog started going crazy. Sorry, guys. I I changed rooms, but some idiot is knocking on the door. So right now I need to also balance serenity because, like, I didn't want anyone to knock on the door or bother me during this. Hey guys, so how do I balance stuff? So we were just talking about this before we hopped on, and I'm sorry about the dog barking in the background. Um, usually people don't even knock on my door. Like, can you believe it? So we talk about the four-burner theory, and it's very much trending on social media. A lot of people are talking about Mark Zuckerberg and all the different uh like business celebrities and and Cody uh Cody Sanchez was talking about this yesterday. But the four-burner theory, right? Family, socialization, and friends, work and health. And realistically, two go out the window, right? Because we can't do all that. And how do you balance all that? Usually two go out the window. So I would say socialization went out the window for me. That's typical for CEOs or founders or whatever. Um, and also health went out the window to the last three years for really diving into business, right? Um, we as people in recovery really we have five, right? We really have five because recovery is like a whole different ball game than just health. Um, it's uh it's a whole program that we need to follow. And what's nice is that sometimes we can integrate the recovery within those other four burners. Like I have family members in recovery, I have friends in recovery, and that is kind of my social life these days, besides work. Um, and some of the things that I do is it's like whack-a-mole, like the like the um, you know, other uh like defects that we have. Um I I just go back and forth, right? So honestly, with having over 11 years, sometimes I will for like six months, I'll go to one meeting a week. And then I'll do the steps in my head and and practice these principles and most of my affairs. And then I'll go harder into my recovery. So lately I've put recovery closer to the top along with work. Um, and that's good because it's kind of just what I need right now. I will say, the more recovery that I do, the better everything else goes. Um, because that is like the foundation of everything else in my life. Um, so when I'm like taking care of my recovery, what like kind of what does that look like, right? Meetings of the fellowship that I go to. Um, I just took on a new sponge. Yeah, I'm speaking at two treatment centers, one tonight and one on Monday. And like I love doing that. That's my favorite thing. Birthdays, holidays, I've spent a lot of those in treatment centers. Like, I'd rather do that. I'd rather be of service. Like nothing else really matters, to be honest with you. Um, even my company is service work, honestly. It's for profit, it's a C Corp. But um that's because that's what investors like to see, you know, um, in order to like grow and like be legitimate legitimatized. Um like that, that's just the route that I went with that. But um, yeah, it's it's honestly uh like whack-a-mole sometimes. Some of the years in my recovery I spent because I go 100%. I shared this on stage at your guys' event, right? And another one's upcoming that's exciting. Um, but I go 150% in whatever I decide to do. And there was like three years in recovery where I did like two to three workouts a day, like hours. And I got really strong, really fast. And then I was like, what's next? What's next? What's next? Doing CrossFit competitions, right? Spartan races, like invited to compete for the US for Spartan. But then it's like, all right, well, I already accomplished that, and I kind of stopped working out, so now I'm trying to like inspire myself to multitask and to go for walks at least, so I don't be like I'm dragging my booty around. But honestly, if if the recovery falls out, then we have nothing for real.

SPEAKER_00 10:17

Yeah, it's kind of like you gotta kind of mix those burners too. Like for me, I try to add recovery into all of it, even into my family. Like, I have two young children, and I I I practice my steps with that. Like, I'm trying to lead by example, and um, I watch them make little mini amends with each other and um bringing my recovery to my health and my health to my recovery, and my recovery to my socialization and and all that. I mean, we gotta kind of learn how to mix it, but it in the beginning it's hard because you focus on one thing and the others kind of fall flat, you know.

SPEAKER_01 11:00

Yeah, but you know, we're we're talking a lot about you know the business world because Trisha's gotten in fallen in recovery and then uh and then got into business and runs her own business and doing extremely well there, you know. And Krista, I love it. You're a great example because you uh are you know home with kids and you know that's a that's running a business. That's running a business right there.

SPEAKER_00 11:25

Hardest one I ever had.

SPEAKER_01 11:26

That question about balance, you know, that's just something that everyone can relate to, not just women, you know. Um, you know, today we're talking about women in recovery for net for women's history month, but this is this is a conversation you know, I get a lot out of hearing how other people balance their lives too. And um, so we're asking the question that in what do women in recovery struggle with? And our friend Jenny Mack, she says, as a woman in recovery, my biggest struggle is getting past that I became an addict while my grandson was dealing with things. I can't believe I did that to him. The guilt, the shame, the remorse. So let's talk about it for a second. Let's talk about the guilt, shame, and remorse that came along with being a woman in recovery. Trish, what do you think about that?

SPEAKER_02 12:16

Yeah, oh my gosh. Literally, I was so scared when I um like at first, like my first job I was waitressing, and then um, and I was like in a call center, which was a lot of people in recovery, but um in the third year of my recovery, I graduated with my master's degree and I started to work in a corporate job. And honestly, I would hide in the conference room, like crying, and I would text my friend and she would come, she's like, it's okay. She knew I didn't even have to say anything. She was my halfway house roommate. Um, that got me this like big position, you know, and um, and I did her resume. It's so funny, but I was like so full of guilt and shame and fear. Like, what if they find out who I am? That's very much transitioned to like old lady. I've been sharing about this lately, exactly like this old lady in the nursing home that doesn't care anymore, you know. I do not promote the 12-step program that I'm in. That's private, you know what I mean? And anything else I do, but I don't care if I say in public, hey, like I was a cocaine addict, or like I literally am an alcoholic, like I don't drink because honestly, I think it helps more people than it hurts people. And it's so funny too. Like, I feel grateful that I'm sober because people act so dumb, you know, and and I'm like, damn, thank God, like I'm sober because even like my temper's gone. I mean, I didn't know how to show up to doing anything for goodness sakes. I wanted to so badly, and and my morals and values were like they weren't in alignment with what I was doing, and it was that's a really bad place to be, you know. Now, like I I just I've worked through so much of that I've healed the heck out of myself, but it takes time, you know. So it's like hang in there, like it's gonna get better, you know. Time takes time, it's healing, you have to heal. The doing the steps or something alike is great, and then you have to heal the heck out of yourself and you know, uh dip your toe in, maybe, and then go home. Dip your toe in a little further and then go home, you know, and get that community around you, and all of a sudden you'll start to feel like you can go anywhere. Like I was in Dubai, not India, but India hopefully soon. That would be awesome. Um, yeah, for like eight days, and uh it's awesome. I could go anywhere. And then today, too. One of the things is that I like talking about the past topic, but I'll go in my room and I don't care if people are texting me, Trish, what are you doing? I need time to myself sometimes to regroup so I could show up like a beast, you know, and like the happy, joyous soul that I am.

SPEAKER_01 15:02

Yeah, I love that. I love that. What about you, Krista? Uh the the guilt, the shame, the remorse of being a woman in recovery.

SPEAKER_00 15:11

I don't think I I had it before I got in recovery, the worst. Like the sh like the guilt, the shame, like people telling me I had a problem. And like, I don't have a problem. I'm just trying to be just like you. Um but I did have a problem. And I think when I was accepted in the fellowship and like was around people that understood me and loved me for hearing about like my worst moments and stuff, I finally felt like understood and loved. Like these people love me more than my own family, and my family still has a hard time like accepting me for who I am and out here talking about like the stuff I've done. But I feel like a lot of people miss the point of the healing part, you know, and we're healing, we're heal, we're constantly healing. And um I as a woman, I think um you just you feel like like you're supposed to like do all the right things, get married, then have babies, and that you know, and do like the thing the like the picture perfect woman and how they're supposed to go. And um I did it all backwards. And so there is like a little like shame in that, but I own it now. And um, I'm not I don't regret the past, but it did it did help shape me for who I am. And there's so many people out there, like if we sat in the shame and guilt of what we did or how things didn't turn out, we'll be miserable. Like owning it, embracing it, and moving forward, and then using your testimony to help somebody else is like the most empowering thing ever. Like, that's where the empowerment comes in. Your dogs are very more well behaved than mine.

SPEAKER_02 17:03

She I walked out the room, she was sitting there like, hello, that's my mom's dog. Yeah, hopefully they don't bark, but I have to get my charger at the very least. Sorry, guys. You know, like that's another thing from working from home. And and uh yeah, similarly, like I I don't have like babies that came out of me, but I have dogs. Uh Lauren said, Look at the puppy. Yeah, this is Lola. She's a baby, yeah. No, yeah, she's really I know, and honestly, like you know, I I can't tell everybody what to do, but having a dog makes recovery better for sure. Because I think a lot of us are sensitive. Oh, she wants to get on camera. A lot of us are sensitive, and it really helps to like how like how Krista has kids and like dogs and stuff, just that helps us to be in our feminine too. Like the love we have females have so much love to give. We have so much love to give, you know. And it's like, I think too, maybe that's why we were using substances too. We were trying to fill the hole within ourselves, whether we didn't feel accepted or we felt like we didn't fit in, and all of a sudden we took it really far, and we didn't mean to, a lot of us, you know. We didn't know what was happening to us, a lot of us. If I can speak for myself, I didn't know I was gonna wind up like that. I wouldn't have done it, maybe. You know what I mean? If it was like here's the crystal ball, this is how it's gonna go down. I mean, I'm sure like my like soul knew what was gonna happen because it had to happen for me to do whatever I needed to do and to learn whatever I needed to learn, but like at the same time, like I don't know, and at least it brought me to puppies. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:55

Well, I I love I love what I love what we're talking about here today with the empowerment and the act of becoming stronger and becoming more confident, you know, having uh drug addiction, having alcoholism, having uh mental health issues, anxiety, depression, PTSD, bipolar, um, you know, but a big one we all have in common self-esteem, you know, self-esteem issues. And it's like the further I went down into you know the the addiction, the further away I got from loving myself. So to the conversation of empowerment and the ability to build that self-esteem again, and is so is so big, and you know, and honestly, being a man in recovery, and we're talking about women in recovery. I I know I I think women beat themselves up more. That's why guilt, shame, and remorse. I think that they beat yourselves up more because you have different expectations. I'm a guy, I was expected to be a fuck up, so it was, you know, you know, and uh, you know, those are my yeah, but y'all have that ego, okay? And uh, and nobody wants to admit when we're broken, but we do that surrender to win, right? Once we finally surrender, once we finally give in, we can get that second life. And and you know, Trish, you being on here and being an example of someone who is really, you know, blossomed is uh is extraordinary. Um, so it's uh it's it's awesome, it's awesome, it's awesome. And our friend Brandy just uh just put in a message. So being in ministry as a woman. So Brandy, she's been on Never Alone Live before. She was our last episode in of the year last year, and her and her husband. But being in ministry as a woman requires so much courage. I celebrate women, be brave and thankful for God's love. That's amazing. Love you, Brandy. I got a little goosey bumps right now. Um, but I love this topic and I love what we're talking about. Um, and but I want to something positive. Okay, so what are the advantages? What are the advantages of being a hang on, I can't read my own writing. Um of being a woman now in in recovery.

SPEAKER_02 21:28

You want to go first?

SPEAKER_01 21:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:32

Um I think you kind of said it earlier. We're I feel like we're a little more sensitive than men. I mean, you it's easier for us to kind of express how we feel in that moment. Like I'm sad, I'm happy, I'm I feel depressed. Like I'm married and my husband's in recovery, and um I know we're we're everyone's different, but watching him, I can tell like when something Things wrong, but he still won't admit. I gotta kind of like drag it out of him. Versus me, I'm like, I'm depressed today, you know, like, or I'll tell I can, I don't know. I think we have a way of um expressing ourselves, like our feelings a little easier. But um it is like a learning process too. And all I can do is lead by example. And I notice like he gets a little better as as he like watches me maybe talk about how I feel. But I think that is helpful in getting other people to open up because a big reason of what led us down the path of addiction is us staying closed off and not talking about how we feel or what we're going through, you know. And and that's I think that's one of the most healing things is to to talk about a problem shared is a problem cut in half, you know. And um, I think that might be like an advantage women have women have, but men can do it too, they just gotta um be courageous, like Brandy said.

SPEAKER_01 23:05

That's so big. That's so big. Uh young a young man, I learned uh I don't cry. I don't cry. Boys don't cry, you know. That's uh that was a rule, and you know, so take those feelings and just shove them way down deep. And you know, and it's it's different, it's different for the sexes. Um Trish, what do you think?

SPEAKER_02 23:26

Uh well, I think that yeah, like I think some of the benefits to being a woman in recovery is that uh I can be a lot more nurturing than men, and um like it's easier for me to like slip on in there and help somebody because I don't look like I'm going to hurt them. And um when I am in my feminine, I'm able to bring a nurturing side that maybe men don't have as much of. Uh, and like kind of like different superpowers that women hold within themselves, um, especially in recovery, allow men and women to be able to find a safe place to come and share and speak to, um, especially when there's no motives. Um, I've been a sister to a lot of men in recovery and also to women, and I don't do things the same way as everybody else. I don't think we're supposed to. There is not really a rule book or a guidebook, but part of, I mean, there's the there's books in different programs. That's not what I mean. I mean of how to act in real life. There's not like, you know, um necessarily guidebooks of how to uh be nurturing or whatever. Um, it's trial and error, right? Um, so I think that too, like I don't have to drink. Like I even when I'm in Dubai, like I could go back to my room, I can drive, I can do all these things. I'm not gonna wind up in jail. I don't have to worry about Uber. If I don't want to go out late because I don't like late drivers on the road, I can say no. Like as a woman in recovery, because also, like, you know, I think too, we once we get sober and we're clean and sober for a long time, there's a specific trait to people in recovery in general that we just glow a little lighter, which can attract light and dark, and then we have to protect ourselves like in a beautiful way. Um, and all of a sudden we have these boundaries and we get to choose who we're gonna help to. Just because somebody says they want help doesn't mean it's our responsibility. Um, and even because we were nurturing towards somebody yesterday or a year ago, it doesn't mean that we're their person now. We can suggest that they go talk to somebody else, like any exes or something. Um, and yeah, I mean, it is a superpower. Like, for some reason, last Sunday, somebody got in my face. They thought I was talking about them, and it was wild, like you know, and because I'm a woman in recovery, I didn't swing. That's pretty good. Back in the day, Trish would have gone and found the biggest dude in the bar. I would have. And if there was a fight that went down, I was gonna go in the middle of it, even if it was two big dudes fighting. That doesn't make sense. Like sanity has returned, right? Um, and that was a little bit of a tangent, but I think that's kind of where I'm at too, recently. Like different examples and stories, too. Like, you know, we start to get stories and examples, and honestly, everywhere I go, like people start to smell like alcohol or they're drinking and they're acting stupid. And I'm like, shout out to God for getting me sober, you know.

SPEAKER_01 27:03

No, it's uh it's it's I love that you said nurturing, you know, because you know that's the big I mean men and women are different. Can't you can't deny it? Women have a womb. I can never carry and birth a child. You guys can. It's different, we're different. Um, women have natural nurturing capabilities that men don't have. I can't feed a baby from my body. It's it's not the same. We're not the same. Um, but you know, when it comes to recovery, you know, we we we while we're not the same, we all get sober together. And you know, we're all following the twelve the same 12 steps. Now, I've talked with, you know, I have a lot of women friends that go to meetings with me, and they go to meetings where, you know, you walk in a room and there's 12 guys and two ladies, you know. There's is that a is that a huge hindrance, especially if you're a newcomer and you walk in the door and it's just like a bunch of dudes hanging out, you know, would that be then sure it would be uncomfortable?

SPEAKER_02 28:11

I think it depends. Uh, a lot of women, especially early on in uh trying to get into recovery, might feel more comfortable with men, to be honest with you. Um I didn't have the same relationships with women, and I wasn't all about girl power as much as I am today uh in recovery, like because now I have a special appreciation and love for women. But when you're new, I think too, like, you know, it's kind of good to have both sides that can be there and supportive, the yin and the yang.

SPEAKER_01 28:47

Yeah, absolutely. Krista, what do you think about that?

SPEAKER_00 28:50

Well, from my experience, I remember I went to rehab and um that was my first sober days. And everyone is all the girls were boy crazy. It was it could be a little tricky in the beginning, but also you have to put into effect what trauma this person was before, and um what trauma they the person was in before, like if they were hurt by men in the past. Um can you say hi to them? See, this is real life. That's it.

SPEAKER_01 29:29

You know, first question on balance.

SPEAKER_00 29:33

I think um boundaries is you gotta know your boundaries too, because I mean there are men and women can both be predators, you gotta just like be aware of that. But like I was hurt by a lot of women in my past, like I was bullied. Um, I I was always a tomboy, I got along with guys better. Um and but I also like used my looks to my advantage too, and my past. So it was uh trying to I was glad I was with just women in the beginning, but now I I can hang with everyone, you know? And I get a lot, I have a lot of like men that are big into my recovery, like Johnny's a good friend of mine, and then um the guy that runs my recovery group, I'm 10 years sober, he spoke at my rehab 10 years ago, and I just when I came home, I like I watch I stayed close to him because I knew he was doing something right, and um he started a whole ministry and all that. So I think you gotta just be you gotta be cautious in the beginning, you know, and put into put into fat like remember the trauma that someone's been through too, you know.

SPEAKER_02 30:46

I I love that you said that because like you know, once you take away drugs and alcohol, what's the first thing you're gonna go to? It's either relationships of like sexual nature or binge eating or not eating. I think those are like the top three from my experience. Um and all those usually take you out, like you know what I mean? Maybe not the food as much, maybe because if it's an eating disorder that goes back to the drinking and the drugs, but um yeah, like my go-to at first was men. That was my go-to at first, it's my comfort zone.

SPEAKER_00 31:29

Well, love is a drug too, I think. 100%, yeah. It's a dangerous one, it can be.

SPEAKER_02 31:34

Yeah, yeah, well, because it's like that adrenaline that high that, like, you know what I mean? It's like so it makes complete sense. And seeing like how many people have gone out because of that, too, and like just how when we get sick, like we don't have the rationalization that we typically do when we are spiritually fit, or sometimes things just happen too, but I think the go-to is relationships for most people. It doesn't matter if they're in a relationship or not, it's usually like the sickest people in there, you know.

SPEAKER_01 32:10

Yeah, but um, you know, okay. So, first off, I have uh, you know, there's another difference, you know, between us. I have never been able to use my looks to get anything. You guys don't even know, Trish. If I had hair and if it was like Fabio, you I'd be unstoppable. You better watch out. Uh, but you know, this is uh this is amazing, and you know, I think the uh, you know, so that kind of brings us to my next question. And I'm gonna read Lauren's comment. Lauren is a friend of ours from the Tiki Tacky. You met Lauren in Florida in South Carolina. Um, being a woman in recovery, able to share experiences so that we can help other women out of the trenches of addiction. Um, we can empathize with the men and help bring out their emotions and share. That's big, you know. That's the we get sober together. But I think, you know, it when it comes to experience strength and hope and dealing with past traumas and dealing with this and dealing with that, you know. Um, I know uh there's a bunch of women's meetings around here, and I know the that you know never alone hosts a uh a women's meeting on Sunday nights that Christa chairs, and it's uh nothing but good things that we've here heard from it, but uh you know, I want to talk about the unity, and that was our topic this morning on uh on the Tiki Taki in the the the meeting was all about unity. How do we keep the unity for future women in recovery? That was a good one, right? No, Chris uh Trisha's not enthused. What do you think, Chris? How do we keep the unity for future women in recovery?

SPEAKER_00 33:58

I think we're my the first word that comes to mind is respect. We have to respect one another. We can't like judge one another. Um because I I feel like we were all judged. I personally, that was a big thing for me. Um, I'm still trying to heal from the judgment from my family, from my community. Um never being taken seriously. But when someone shows me respect, they're looking for donuts and throwing avocados at each other. Um, but respect, we have to respect one another. We never we didn't give ourselves respect in the past, we weren't given respect, we probably weren't giving respect. So um respect goes a long way. Like, yeah, that's my answer.

SPEAKER_02 34:54

John, it's not that I don't love that question, that's just deep, you know what I mean? And that's like probably the most important question anybody could ever propose. Because like there's no more uh solution than what the heck, you know what I mean? We were blessed with such a big gift, and it's like, how do I even answer that? Because it's the most important thing, and I think it's it's it evolves and it changes and it's different. Like, of course, like to treat each other well, to not break out in fights. I've seen some stuff happen that I'm like, this is insane, you know. Um, in groups, um, but more often than not, I don't see that, so I don't want to like make people think it's like, oh yeah, that's what I'm gonna get. No. Um, but yeah, I think it's just important too. A lot of us forget, like, there's all the 12-step programs have traditions, um, and they are all around unity, even though the first one talks about unity, and then um, like you know, basically coming together to help people is so important. And oftentimes, if we go into a room, this is something that I think we all screw up on. And I hate this is not a call-out session, but it's like when we go into the room, we go straight to our friend instead of the girl we've never seen before, and then maybe we're talking to our friends after instead of what about that new person we forget, but like that should be the person that we go to, you know what I mean? And uh continuing on to create different opportunities for people to find solutions because the solutions are not one size fits all. We have like suggestions, and what we have is our own experience. My experience has been uh like different things, and it's kind of what it was in the beginning, right now. Um, but also it evolves and changes depending on where I'm living, where I'm at in life, where's my mental health, where's my spiritual health, where's my physical health, like that foreburner approach that you spoke about in the beginning. Sometimes, like I didn't really do as much recovery, and I was doing more like work and stuff and outside stuff, and then um like once a week, and that was it. And is that holding on by thread? Maybe. Not maybe not that I'm gonna go drinking, but that you know, like basically that my priorities aren't what they're the best for me. Um, also, like one of the things that I appreciate about this question is one of the things that I struggle with is that I wind up spending a lot of time by myself, and that's not a good place for me to be. But I think that if I didn't spend so much time by myself, I wouldn't have realized that I needed people around me. And the last like month particularly, I've made it like very important that I stay around people. I had a friend stay here for two weeks. One of those weeks I went to Dubai, and that kind of made me realize I need to be around people, and being with you guys in Charleston was right before that, you know. And then I had a friend here from Orlando last night that's one of the healerverse practitioners, and I'm like, what's everybody doing? Like, I used to not like leave the house for like three years when I was building the company, you know, but I didn't realize that until like you go back in, you don't realize how far out you are and how much it sucks. From my experience, I need you guys, you know, too.

SPEAKER_01 38:36

We all we all need to hear anymore. We all need each other, and I love the the recover out loud movement, right? So the recover out loud movement and people going on social media and saying, I am in recovery, my life is better, I'm doing well, sharing experience, strength, and hope with communities that they might have never been in front of before. And I'm a big fan of HI. HI, for those who don't know, stands for hospitals and institutions. And by you know, whenever I go up to a detox or into the treatment facilities, um, you know, it's it's best if a man and a woman go together so that when we go in, we're a unified front, the unity's there, and then we're speaking to whoever is in treatment and giving them the message that we can do this. And you know, I've gone up to the rehabs into the rehabs and up to detox uh way too many times with with me and another guy, and there's three women in there, and you know, it's the we're speaking the same language, it's unisex, but at the same time, a one woman talking to another woman just hits different. It's it's it's the way it is, and um, so as far as this question goes, and I shouldn't be answering because I am a guy, but I'm going to anyway, and uh, but keeping the unity, keeping the message on the forefront and getting out and saying it and giving that experience strength and hope is so important, and you guys do it so well, and you know, we you know, we all just should be emulating one another, finding the good points in uh someone else, and then trying to put that into our own life. Uh, so I I thought I think you guys answered this these questions great. Um, I've got I've got a couple more. You ready?

SPEAKER_02 40:32

I'm happy that you answered that, John, real quick, because uh no, it is it is good for for you to speak as well. We were talking about it beforehand, how important men are and how we celebrate men too, you know? Yeah, big time.

SPEAKER_00 40:48

We love you guys. You guys are our brothers. Yeah, they were joking that the men get 11 months and we only get one.

SPEAKER_02 40:57

I'm doing HI tonight. I'm so excited. I'm so excited at a detox and also a mental health facility.

SPEAKER_00 41:06

I would have loved to hear your story in recovery. Like, what?

SPEAKER_02 41:12

Oh my god, it's different every time because, like, I you know, it's like when you're in recovery for so long and like 11 over 11 years is a long time. It is, it's fucking amazing. This is so cool. Like, I literally I'm telling you, I feel like the old lady in the in the nursing home. I'm like, I don't care anymore. Here I am.

SPEAKER_00 41:34

Well, and early in recovery too, I felt like my story was kind of short. And now that I tell it, I'm 10 years sober. There's so much that has happened and evolved in my recovery as well, and then other stuff that's coming back to me.

SPEAKER_02 41:48

Well, when we have like 45 years combined right here, yeah. Holy Toledo, we're not even old.

SPEAKER_00 41:56

No, you're trying to say we're an old timer, not old timer.

SPEAKER_01 42:01

It's it's strange because we all have so much blonde hair. You guys have the blonde hair on your heads. I've got all this blonde in my beard now. That's what that's what I'm going with. This is blonde, not gray. Uh uh, but okay, so I have questions. Um what do women in recovery need as opposed to men? What is what are the differences? What do what's what's what are different needs that women have to attain recovery over men? I know that's a tough one. More tissues, more tissues.

SPEAKER_00 42:36

Just kidding. No, guys are babies too. So that's a good question.

SPEAKER_01 42:44

You know, and what is there is there a difference? Do we not? I mean, we all do the steps. We all do the steps the the same, you know, they're written in a way to where they're, you know, we can all just go through them, um, you know, and like a fourth step, you know, what's the difference with a man doing a fourth step and a woman doing a fourth step? We all write our resentments, our fears, our sexual misconduct, and our harms. And then we tell these to a sponsor. Uh, whether you're working a program or not working a program, whether you're an N A, A A, C A, C R, whatever, is uh is there any difference in your guys' opinion?

SPEAKER_00 43:22

I don't think in my opinion, but I did notice something because my husband and I did our steps this last time, like side by side, and women take longer time to express how they feel. They take their time and men are short short and they just get straight to the point. And I think like time women need an extra hour. But there are some talkative men out there. I mean, but that's what I noticed between us. But like I think we're the same. It's the same. I mean, there's no we're all equal, I think, and all that. And we all have the same heart. We have basically the same hearts and we're healing kind of the same in a way.

SPEAKER_01 44:06

Interesting. What do you think, Trish? Is there any difference?

SPEAKER_02 44:09

I think women need women and men need men, honestly. Um yeah, there's something really special about that. Hi, Jolene. In the comments. I think hi, babe. I think women need women and men need men. Uh, not that we don't need each other, but man, when I walk, because sometimes I forget so much of my life is co-ed. And like I'll walk into a room that's all women and it feels so different. And I'm like, oh, it feels so good. You know, it's like there is uh there's something so good about it. Because a lot of times, too, it allows us to take the shield off, you know, and to like be in our feminine. I love that. I love when the room is all women, it's like different. We get to show up differently.

SPEAKER_00 44:59

That's what the women say after our women's meeting every week. There's just a different vibe and all because it's just yeah, all women, and I think the men feel that way with the new men's meeting we got.

SPEAKER_01 45:08

Well, that's what I was actually just gonna bring that up because uh we just started a men's meeting and it's on Thursday nights at six o'clock central, and it's on Zoom, and it just the guys with the guys just hits different. Uh, I can't explain why, and maybe it's because we can share our feelings and emotions, and it kind of strips the ego away because we're not performing for the other sex. Um, and I'm assuming it's the same with the women's meetings, is that you know, you can just share a little more openly, you can do things a little more different, um, because it's uh a unified front. Um and in we do the women's meeting on Sunday and the men's meeting on Thursday, and then we have the meetings that are all together, uh, that are just I mean, it's all phenomenal, but I think it just hits different.

SPEAKER_02 46:00

Yeah, it's softer in the women's, like when it's just women, which I really love because I'm not used to that at all anywhere in life. So, like when I walk in and it's all women, like uh assuming the women are like doing the work on themselves and stuff, but it's just it's nurturing, it's soft, it's more peaceful. It actually allows me to take my like very masculine at times personality and tone it down. Yeah, I don't have to like, you know what I mean, go to New York and like or business or like whatever, like that I do or whatever. And and um, even like the healer community is like very feminine feelings, nurturing, healing, soft, like and just enlightened. And and it is the age of femininity, like it's um the age of Aquarius on the spiritual side of things, and even though Aquarius technically um some people say it's masculine, some people say it's feminine, it's like the age of uh a lot of people are starting to heal, and to even be able to have this conversation on social media, what we're doing right now, that's very feminine because of this stuff, similarly to what John shared, you know. His like basically growing up. I hope it's okay that I say this, but you said it the way that you grew up, or like not saying that it's your household either, but the beliefs that you had that you had to be a certain way, no crying, you're a man, da-da-da. Yeah, it's like it's really cool that we even get to do this and that John's here.

SPEAKER_01 47:38

I like being thanks for inviting me. Uh I'm gonna I'm gonna move over to the comments because my dumb dumb buddy Mark says, uh, women with women, men with men, indeed, keep it simple, you know. Uh the the people that want to fight it, don't make it complex. Uh it's just let's just let's just let it ride and do what we do and and help everybody. And uh, and then Lauren said the women's meeting always runs over. She is right, we need the extra hour lol. It's funny, the men's meeting always done early.

SPEAKER_00 48:16

See, see, I just that's a that's an observation, okay.

SPEAKER_01 48:24

And uh uh this is this has been phenomenal. This has been awesome. Um what are my other uh the other questions that I have? Um and this, you know what, this is gonna, I want to bring it back to business for a second, Trish, if you don't mind.

SPEAKER_02 48:43

Um pleasure.

SPEAKER_01 48:46

What are the challenges? Uh, you know, what are the challenges of being uh you know modern day? Modern day. I mean, back in the 50s and 60s, it was a totally different ball game. Uh, but what are the what are the hindrances of being a woman in business now? You know, having having 10 years sober, having you know changed and grown and all this stuff, what uh what are still your hindrances?

SPEAKER_02 49:15

Uh being in recovery.

SPEAKER_01 49:18

You mean so being in recovery, being in business. Um, you know, what I mean, because that's you know, because we we we get into recovery, right? Yeah, and then we get to have having a life. Yeah, have a life, and we get to move on. And some people get into business, they get jobs, they get this, they get that. Um, now I would I just you know, since we're talking women empowerment, you know, and you know, I want to talk about your your business life, your business career, how it's been um in modern day, you know, being a woman in business.

SPEAKER_02 49:52

Easy question. So, oh thank you. Yeah, thank you for asking that. So I would say that there is none. I am so much happier being sober at this point. Like, honestly, I'm not missing out on anything. The only thing that sometimes sucks that um I'm not saying this could be nice because of the consequences, but you know, people get to drink and wake up. Sometimes I'm tired and I don't want to go because I'm like, uh like that's all like I'm gonna drink, get there when I drink, and I don't can't really drink caffeine after a certain hour anymore. You know what I mean? Because then like it gives me anxiety. So, like, besides that, honestly, damn, like I'm happy to be sober. There's nothing like that I want to do that involves drinking. I can still go everywhere, everywhere. And honestly, sometimes I leave because I have way more love and respect for myself now than I've ever had, even two weeks ago. You know what I mean? Because I'm always growing and healing and evolving, and I don't want to be around nonsense, like I don't have time for it. I really don't, and it's not intolerance, it's just self-love, self-preservation. And I am badass, you know, and I have a certain level of like respect that I demand these days from everyone, from men, women, but even men with the drinking and stuff at these events and how stupid they act and how delusional they are. Like it's God bless you guys. This is a coming from a loving place, but I'm gonna tell you to come correct or don't come at all, you know, and that's it though, and then we move on, you know. Because you're drunk, you think you can get with me. Why would a girl like me want to be with you drunk? Why? Like, you know what I mean? You're out of your mind, out of your mind. We need to record that and put that everywhere.

SPEAKER_01 51:44

I love that. Um, Megan, make that a meme.

SPEAKER_02 51:47

Make that a meme. Like, why would a girl like me with 11 years sober want to be with some idiot that drinks all the time? Why would I want that?

SPEAKER_00 51:54

Never, and there's so much power with having a clear mind. Hell yeah. Why would you not want to be clear headed? You know, yeah, I already like they're just it's so jumbled up, they don't know what they're doing, they can't control their anything.

SPEAKER_02 52:11

Yeah, and I don't say that with ego either. It's like it's like I damn near deserve that after I'm 41. I started very young in business, very, very young, and I had to put up with a lot. I like you know, what did I like 19 or whatever when I started in New York? I'm 41. Can you imagine all the stuff I've had to deal with? At this point, I'm just like, yo, no, no, maybe you would have had a shot when I was drinking, but I'm not like it's so cool. It's honestly it's empowering to even say that out loud. Yeah, and to also give women the motivation to it's not it's not like a negative thing, it's cool. Like self-respect is cool, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 52:56

You know, this this today's topic was very it was, I think, extremely important. Not just about, you know, women in recovery, you know, because that's that's it's a big topic in itself, but the empowerment and the growth and the change that comes and the hope of of things to come. And you know, seeing the example of you two phenomenal women and all the women in the comments, you know, who have grown and gotten in there. Some people in here are, you know, four months sober, and they are just in the process, they're just sprouting and are gonna grow into huge uh you know, powerhouses that get to help other people and and do dynamic things with life, you know, and and then and then we've got some other old timers in here with years and years sober that I hope see this and say, look at just because I have all these years sober, I can still be more, I can still do more, you know, and as as as a man and as a person in recovery, I I I mean I make new goals and and things for myself all the time, you know. And and today I get to accomplish those goals, right? Because, you know, we've we've all gotten to be empowered because of recovery. Oh excuse me. Look at once I once I take the glasses off, you never know what's gonna happen. Look at that, I'm like incognito now. Krista didn't even know who I am. I've always had my glasses on, and it's because you've seen enough for today. Because it's because once once uh once Mark gets in the comments, I don't need to read anymore.

SPEAKER_02 54:39

Well no, I love the support that's happening in the comments right now, too. It's amazing, it's really beautiful.

SPEAKER_01 54:45

It really is. Yeah, yeah, it's it's all the love, it's all the it's it's everything, you know, and we just go out and we love one another. And I really like the fact that you guys both said the word respect. Just we go out, we love each other, we respect each other. We all are sick people trying to heal together, and you know, if we if we get through it, and uh, you know what? It's funny because I know Trish, I know her story. I know that she got into the stock market at a very early age, which was predominantly a boys' club, and um, you know, and I was gonna ask for a bunch of stories on that, but uh, we're gonna save that for another and we're gonna keep this real positive, and uh you know this is this has just been great. This has been a great live stream. Yeah, do you guys have any uh afterthoughts or comments that you'd like to say to everybody that's gonna watch this? Nope.

SPEAKER_00 55:48

I tried to mute for a second because they just came back in from outside, but um, I think also another thing is is we have respect for ourselves, and that was a thing I didn't have before recovery, and it's huge, and I am grateful that you um brought Trish along today and um girl power, girl power, but we couldn't do it without the boys either. So we are all equal at the end of the day, and we need each other to to we all need each other in this recovery world and community, and I'm grateful for it.

SPEAKER_01 56:21

You know, our friend our friend Carly is in the comments right now, and who's a recovery ally? Our friends from Recover Out Loud, uh, who they do those hoodies and stuff like that. You met them in Charleston, they uh they've got a new recovery out loud ally platform. And uh, I don't know why this this just kind of jumped in my head, but you know, the founders of AA, Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob Smith, um they did they put they did a lot of work to get AA going, but they would not have been anywhere without Ann Smith, that's Dr. Bob's wife, and and Lois Wilson, who was Bill W's wife. And you know, Bob and Bill were the drunks that got together, but it was Ann and Lois that that that pushed and and really got this thing going and made it what it is. And so, you know, women in recovery empowerment. It's uh you know, I'm so grateful you guys are here today. Grateful for all the people in the comments. Brian, Brian, do you see Brian in there, Krista? Um, that's Buster McFly. Oh, Busta in comments, and it's like uh if I'd have known it was Buster, I'd uh we'd have been reading all those. Thank you. Thank you for being here, you guys. Uh, this has been so awesome. Next week, we've got uh a big group of uh of crazies that are gonna be on here.

SPEAKER_02 57:50

Amazing, it's gonna be awesome, and also like um every Friday we do a round table on Healerverse, and we feature one of the practitioners. So if you're interested in learning about spiritual and holistic healing, and we're gonna be doing a lot with recovery this year too, helping people with like you know, step 11, but also like health and mind, body, and spirit overall that's not agnostic to any 12-step program, but can also include that. Come join us, the website's 5dhealerverse.com.

SPEAKER_01 58:22

Megan, can you make sure you put 5dhealerverse.com in the comments?

SPEAKER_02 58:26

Yeah, I wasn't going live on the healerverse channel accidentally instead of my channel.

SPEAKER_01 58:32

That's our favorite all over the place.

SPEAKER_02 58:35

It's good, it's good, it's good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's all good.

SPEAKER_01 58:39

Well, thank you guys for being here. And uh thank thank everyone in the comments. Uh, we love you guys, and uh and we're guys just just grateful, grateful, grateful. Um, thanks for the conversation, and we'll see you guys next week.

SPEAKER_02 58:54

I loved this reunion. We'll see you guys next week. Love you guys.