Freedom & Empowerment in Recovery | Marcy Hopkins

In this episode of Never Alone Live, we sit down with Marcy Hopkins, host of Wake Up with Marci, author, speaker, and recovery advocate, for a powerful conversation about addiction, trauma, healing, and personal transformation.

Marcy shares her journey from childhood trauma and years of alcohol dependence to finding lasting recovery, purpose, and freedom. Through honesty, resilience, and self-discovery, she opens up about the challenges she faced, the lessons she learned, and the hope she found on the other side of addiction.

This conversation explores recovery, empowerment, healing from the past, building self-worth, overcoming adversity, and creating a life filled with purpose. Whether you're in recovery yourself, supporting a loved one, or simply looking for encouragement, Marcy's story is a powerful reminder that change is possible and that freedom begins with taking the first step.

Never Alone Live is dedicated to sharing real stories of recovery, hope, healing, and transformation so that no one has to walk this journey alone.

Transcript

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Welcome, welcome, welcome everyone to Never Alone Live. It's a great day today, and we're very excited. I'm Johnny, and as usual, we have Krista, the sober Barbie, and a very special guest uh from Wake Up with Marcy. Um, Marcy is here today and talking with us. Marcy, you are a novelist, you've written books, uh, and you uh you have your own podcast, so we're gonna learn all about that. But why don't you uh why don't you tell us about yourself? Tell us, give us a little experience, strength, and hope. Yes, thank you guys so much for having me on. First off, it's uh absolutely fabulous to be here, and I love that we can have these conversations to help others out there to know that they're not alone. Uh for me, boy, we gotta rewind really far. I'm not gonna bore you with all the details, but I will say that my life started off with a lot of trauma. And when I was about 12 years old, it was the first time I drank alcohol. And it made me feel a way that I'd never felt before. Uh I felt happy, I've escaped. Um, in it was it was a feeling that I wanted to continue having. And that started my relationship with alcohol, really, my journey with alcohol. So I started experimenting with alcohol. My mother married a man and they allowed me to drink with them when we were on vacation and at different times. And it really started off probably for me about eighth grade. I started drinking during on the weekends, and it just continued that way until I was out of high school. And then I drank every day. I drank every day of my life, except for the times that I got in trouble. When I was early 20s, uh 1920, I got a couple of DUIs. And so during that time, I I tried to stop drinking, but the the idea of forever was so terrifying to me. And even though I had to go to AA because the courts made me go, I couldn't believe that I was actually actually an alcoholic. So I continued my life with alcohol. I had ups and downs, good times, bad times, but I will say that it was a constant for me. And it created a lot of problems in my life. But when it came to relationships, because of the sexual abuse and the trauma that I had and abandonment, and then the alcohol, there was a lot of fighting and dysfunction and hanging on to relationships that were not positive in any way. But I did ultimately go through college. I started uh I started a career in media, and I actually did very well. I ultimately became the director of on air promotions in LA for Fox Cable Network, and I met my husband in LA, got married, and again, I was still drinking every day, but it was just the norm. I get home from work, I'd drink alcohol on the weekends, we drink alcohol, and I tried to maintain what I thought normal was, um, just because drinking every day was normal for me. It's what I knew. It was just that I knew that I wasn't my mother, and my mother had terrible alcoholism, and her her path was very different as far as blacking out and then ultimately in jail and uh rehabs and such. So I wasn't my mom. And so that was my bar. And I was managing a life that looked pretty damn good from the outside. When I was about 40, I decided to get in front of the camera. At this time, I had two children, was living in New Jersey, about 25 miles outside of New York, decided to get in front of the camera. And it was, and I also now I'm I'm in my 50s now, but I realized that I was going through perimenopause. So I had whole storm brewing inside of me. And I was trying to manage my kids. I didn't want them to feel abandoned. I wanted to be there for them because I never wanted them to feel what I felt growing up with my family. Um, I started using alcohol as liquid courage when I was in front of the camera because I was had no confidence and just I just felt judged all the time. It was a very, very difficult career for someone who doesn't feel confident about themselves or have self-love to pursue. Um, and also my husband worked all the time. And so, and then with the perimenopause and feeling like my life was falling apart, it was just a very difficult time. And my alcohol was elevating and elevating, meaning I started drinking during the day. It wasn't just in the evenings anymore. I started hiding my alcohol. Um, it was it was causing a lot of problems in my relationship with my husband. Um, and I ultimately did try to stop drinking. And I went into AA, and when I went in, that was in 2014. I was sober for about three months, and I convinced myself that I didn't have a problem. I was comparing myself to others in the room, my story, I was still raising my kids, I had the career, I had the husband, part of community. So I was like, I am not, I am, I am not an alcoholic. I just didn't believe it. And and like I said, that I was comparing the story. Within that year, my drinking elevated to a level that was very frightening for me. And I was thinking about it all the time that I needed to stop drinking, but I didn't know how. And I was so fearful of it, I couldn't imagine my life without alcohol because it was what I'd always used to cope with life. Well, ultimately, the last day of drinking was October 3rd, 2015. I'd gone for a modeling gig. Ultimately, I showed up at the gig and I convinced myself that I didn't need the alcohol. I didn't need my liquid courage. Then I found out that I was at the wrong mall. Um, I was modeling a clothing line that day. So, what did I do? I go into chaos, I jump in my car, I start drinking my liquid courage, I'm going as fast as I can, I get to the gig and I walk the show, my friend was there, we go out drinking afterwards, and ultimately I ended up getting a DUI. And I went to bed that night as a victim. If my life were not so bad, that this wouldn't have happened. But something happened that next morning, October 4th, when I woke up. I was, I felt like if I didn't make the change, that I was going to lose everything that I had built in my life. And I didn't, I knew in that moment that I didn't want to lose it. I thought I wanted to change, I thought I wanted a divorce, I thought I wanted everything different because everything was everybody else's fault. But in that moment there was a shift, and I knew in that moment that I needed help. And I went downstairs and I sat down with my husband and I told him I needed help, that I was an alcoholic, and he ended up embracing me. And it was the first time that I had felt love, that unconditional love that I'd been seeking my entire life. And there was just such a release. And I didn't have to fight anymore, I didn't have to lie anymore, I didn't have to cover up my pain anymore. And I surrendered and I went back to the 12-step program, and I'm over 10 years sober now. I never look back. I did everything I was told to do. Marcy, this is amazing. And you know, whenever we have people on here, right? You know, there's uh there's always so much. I mean, we have extremely different stories, right? And but there's so much hope because there's always something relatable. Like you and I have so much in common because it was my modeling career that never took off. That uh that that yeah, that uh Krista, that was so funny. Krista doesn't even laugh at my jokes anymore. This is how this is our relationship now. That's uh she doesn't laugh at my jokes. My eyeballs just get big. Uh Marzi, that's so awesome. And you know, so this month is it's uh National Women's History Month, right? So we've uh we've uh this month we've had strong women on here that you know it's all about empowerment and everything like that. And that's so we're very grateful that you're here and you're sharing your story and things like that. You've uh you've done a lot in your recovery, you've done a real lot in your recovery, and you are helping people like crazy. And you have a podcast called Wake Up with Marcy, and you've written a few books, uh one of which just came out, correct? Uh April 7th, yeah. April 7th. Look at it, look at it. Yeah, and uh, you know, I do I do a little homework. We do a little homework around here. Um, but uh let's talk, let's talk about that for a minute. Let's talk about okay, you're in recovery now, you've got some time, and you decide to to take it uh out loud because this is we talk about recover out loud a lot around here. And I'm wearing a recover out loud hoodie right now. That says recover out loud right there. Our good friend shout out to recover out loud. Uh um well, let's talk about uh about your books and talk about your podcast. Yeah. Well, first off, I just it didn't start off where I was recovering out loud, right? Because it there was a lot of shame and a lot of guilt and a lot of healing that I had to do before I got to a place where I knew I wanted to do more, and I knew that I wanted to help others that were going through the same. And what happened was is I I decided that I wanted to do, there were a series of things that happened, but I started a Facebook live show actually called Coffee with Marcy, and I kind of harnessed all of my uh knowledge in front of the camera, behind the scenes, and such, and I wanted to do something in the community. And at this time, I wasn't really sharing. This was about a year into my recovery, and I wasn't really sharing my story yet. And I this show was taking off, I was sharing about the entrepreneurs and the nonprofits in the community, but then what I realized is that everyone had a story, right? And and how they got to the place that they were. And my story was changing. I was starting to live this life of happiness and joy and live a life that I never thought that was possible. And I got in contact with someone that had a streaming network and they wanted to put my show on. And from that, that's where Wake Up with Marcy was launched. It's now a podcast, but it was a TV show for about seven and a half years. And the show was really about sharing stories of transformation and hope. Because it's through our stories that we can help others and help others to know that they're not alone and recognize we can all relate in a lot of ways through the things that we're going through, and how did we get through them and help others to get through them also. So then through that experience, I started becoming more and more open with my story, with what I'd gone through. And I and I continue to become more and more open because it's so important for me to change the narrative around this disease and normalize the conversation so more of us can seek help because it is within that isolation that we stay sick. It's feeling like I'm the only one going through this. I have to heal alone when you do not. You are not alone. There's over 48 million people in the United States alone that suffer with substance use disorder. So I knew through this time that I wanted to do something, and that's where my TV show came from. Wake up with Marcy's more about like waking up your subconscious, right? Because we we really only when we're awake, we're only using about you know 10% of our brain, and it's like all of this programming behind that's going on, and it's about changing all of that through our healing, changing our mindset, our narrative, how we think, rewiring our brains. And through so through that time, really, God is a big, big part of my healing journey. I couldn't have done this without Him. And I feel that each thing that I've done is guidance through through my higher power. And so all of a sudden, I started hearing from people, when are you gonna write your books? When are you gonna do, you know, when are you gonna write your story? And that's where chaos, uh, chaos declarity came from, breaking the cycles. Um generational cycles we need to break, and and seeing the signs is about seeing the signs from from the other side. And then now I had for about two years in my head the book Wake Up, You're Not Broken, What to Expect the First 30 Days of Sobriety. I kept fighting that. I kept saying, No, I'm not gonna write a book about sobriety. I'm not gonna write a book about this. And then I finally acquiesced after two years of thinking about it, and I'm so grateful I did. Because what this has done is opened up so many doors to me as far as helping people in those first 30 days and helping people in recovery centers and being able to align myself with nonprofits that are helping others with alcohol use disorder and substance use disorder. So my path has been turning my pain into purpose, and there is no shame in this disease, and that's what I want people to know and to understand because we've had this narrative for so long that we kept it hidden. We kept the shame inside our families, and this is a family disease, and we need to normalize this conversation and understand the help that is available. So that's just become my purpose, and I'm so grateful to have been put on this path in life, really. This is this is phenomenal, Marcy. And we have uh your books are right here on the screen with us. Uh thank you, Megan, for throwing those up. The links for Marcy's books are in the comment as well as her podcast, Waking Up with Marcy, or Wake Up with Marcy, excuse me. Um, and uh this is so awesome. And you know, we uh we talk, like I said, we talk about recover out loud. I'm gonna drop over to Krista for a second because Krista is a recover out loud champion. I'm so glad you guys got to meet. And you know, one of a person we interviewed a few weeks ago, our friend Kyle from Wisconsin, he started a company called Normalized Sobriety, and he from Wisconsin, where he says that they've normalized drinking so much, and there's underage drinking, there's all this and all that, and I mean it's legal. And uh, so he started normalized sobriety. So we are all really on the same page. But Krista, go ahead. Let's uh Krista uh started uh she with recovering out loud. Go ahead, Krista. Um, I love that you're you said pain to purpose, because um, I mean we we didn't go through this for no reason, you know, it's to help someone else. And um my journey is uh is a little different, but I I grew up on a resort island where everyday drinking is like normalized, and um, especially underage drinking, and I just I was different than everyone else. And I um I turned to social media when I was losing my husband to addiction and I went viral overnight, and then he got sober. I was like, I have this platform, and I noticed it was during COVID, and I noticed a lot of other people were sharing their recovery really loud. I'm like, okay, I've always recovered out loud. I wanted to tell everyone how just these steps like the steps are just amazing and help you be a better person, really. We all go through hurts, habits, hangups, and um we can all benefit from it. But um I just there's so much power in seeing someone else's eyes get their lights back. And um I just social media has been a game changer in all of it, and I'm so grateful to have to meet you, and I I gotta get these books now. I gotta imagine getting those books in recovery, like they probably help so much. Yeah, Chaos to Clarity is just you know, it's funny because I'm working on an audiobook for that now, and so I'm I I I released the book three years ago, and recently I've been I've won some awards for it, so I'm very grateful for that. And I decided to do an audio book, so I'm listening to it again, and so much of it is about overcoming the trauma too, trauma in our lives, and that's a big part of it, right? Because we drink too numb. There is there's something that we're usually pushing down that that we're we're not facing, and and overcoming that. And so I just realized like the book Chaos Declarity does talk about my recovery and addiction and such, but really it's about overcoming and and becoming triumphant over the past abuse that I went through and changing my mindset and just becoming the best version of myself. And what I did learn um through those steps, because those steps saved my life. I I had so much therapy in my life, um, but it was through those steps that really there was there was this huge ability to to heal in a whole new way. And uh I I I've always said, I wish everyone had those steps. I wish we could implement that in everyone's lives because you become uh just emotionally intelligent, you want to give back, you become spiritually fit, you heal from your past, you know, you know your part. Like there's so many great things that come from it. Um, so maybe that's something we can do. We can start implementing these steps and and making them more normalized. That's uh you're you're preaching normalized steps. Normalized steps normalize some sort of uh of therapeutic values in our lives, you know. Uh the book told me if I could do it on my own uh morals and convictions, I'd be okay, but I couldn't. Uh, my morals and convictions, my rules for life that I broke over and over again, they uh they got Got me here. You know, they got me to the bottom of the bottle and and into uh into an addiction. Um, you know, so the the idea, the premise of everybody working steps, that's it's amazing. We talk about it a lot. We talk about it a lot. Krista, that's one of Krista's platforms. Is she says everybody needs to be working steps? And it doesn't matter what steps, yeah. Yeah, you know, we've got and I the so we're very program uh agnostic, right? We uh we love all forms of recovery, whether you're working in AA, NA, CR, CA, whatever the case may be. If you're if you're not working a program, but you're trying to live a better life and you're hanging around uh the tiki-talkie streets, you know. Uh we got a lot of that. Um, and uh it's anybody trying to do something better, and you know, finding a power greater than yourself, that's it's so enormous because when I run the show, it goes wrong. When I have a higher power that runs the show, it goes how it's supposed to go, and I can accept it, whether it's good, bad, or indifferent. So uh that's awesome, Marcy. But let me ask you a quick, I got some questions. I've got some questions. I like my questions. Um what is what is your favorite thing about helping people? Where does where what what does it for you? My favorite part about helping people is the gift that I receive, really, in in in my heart, knowing that giving of myself is is helping someone else, but it's also the biggest gift is is for how it makes me feel, the fulfillment that I get from that. I I know that we we give and we say we do these things to help other people, but at the end of the day, it is about helping ourselves too. And that's what that that's what keeps me that's what keeps me going every day is that that fulfillment that I receive from giving of myself to others. It's so amazing, it's so rewarding. The 12th step says having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we try to carry this message to others and practice these principles and all our affairs. And uh it's it's so amazing because when I'm helping others, I am building my relationship with God. So, you know, in helping others, it helps me. And it's so amazing. And I love everything that you're doing. Crystal, the same question. Let's uh let's what's your favorite thing about helping others? You're on mute. Oh, there she goes. I'm here. I'm having a little technical delays, but I'm here. Um, what is my favorite thing about helping others? Yes. Um, you can't keep it if you don't give it away. Uh you know, and um it is, it's it's it is what I receive back as well. Um, it's the light in those people's eyes, it's seeing families reunited, people getting second chances. It's the result of it. Even if they don't take the help, you're still planting around the way. It it hopefully will be watered, but um it it's just it's putting my pain to purpose. Like, I didn't struggle all those years for no reason. Like my life's not a waste. That's like my favorite part. I'm telling you, it's just watching people grow, watching people get better. So we've got uh we've got a lot of people in the comments, and I'm gonna dote on one person in particular as a a woman uh who she got sober on Tiki Taki. And the first day she says, I don't want to do this anymore. And group of women wrapped their arms around her virtually and stayed online with her for 24 hours, and she they stayed up and and got through that first day, and now she has uh five months, and it's so amazing. We're so proud of her. Um, you know. So I'm not gonna call out Lauren's name, but uh uh see that was funny. Krista doesn't laugh at any of my jokes anymore. It's fine. I don't need Krista to laugh at my jokes, Marcy. You and me can be best friends. She's not my best friend anymore. Uh I'm over here speaking too late for her, she can't hear. I know, right? I this is this this is so good for me on my end, Marcy. Her technical difficulties work for me. Uh, but uh this is great. I love this. Um, and you know, but so okay, so from your TV show, from your podcast, this is a I like this question too. Who is your favorite interview that you've done? Who because you've interviewed a lot of people. Um yeah, we talked about this question beforehand, and when when I asked, when I told you about it, you kind of went, you kind of gave me that face, but um either way it is because I I mean I think I've done 500 interviews. I mean, I I have done so many interviews, and I I honestly I love every interview that I do because I get something out of it, and I know that I'm giving to someone else that's listen listening through that conversation, and it's so amazing what people have gone through in life, and and now that they are giving back and helping others, and there's so many of us that and we're like just creating this incredible community, not just in alcoholism and addiction and and recovery and mental health. I mean, it's in all aspects of life. But I will say the one person, and and actually she's a celebrity, uh, Patricia Heaton was on my show, and she always stands out for me. Um, and the reason being it was during COVID that I had this interview with her. And it's just that she, you know, every every I've been watching Everybody Loves Raymond, and you know, she just seemed like this really down-to-earth woman. And she got on and she started just sharing her truth that during COVID, she started drinking more, she started drinking during the day, and just realizing that how it just how it was affecting her life negatively, and she had to make that change. And I I just think it it was just she came on and it was like talking to a friend, you know, just knowing that celebrities are just people too, that that they go through the same, and just how honest she was when she has this, you know, she has this portrayal of a person that she has to, or we think she has to be, right? But yet in that honesty, there was just such a connection, and I feel like so many people could connect to her on a different level. So, right, the this disease has no boundaries, right? So I just for some reason that one interview just really touched me because she didn't come on necessarily to talk about that, and she just was so open and honest, and and I just showed it just showed so much strength, and that we all have it within us. That's so amazing. I love what you said there, and it does it doesn't matter how much time you have, doesn't matter how much time you have. It's uh the person that woke up earliest is the one who's most sober, you know, and we're all just 24 hours away, you know. This is it. We all have today. Yesterday was gone, you know. We did great, we didn't drink. Today is the question, and if we do good today, we can build for a great tomorrow. Um, and that that's so awesome. And you know, uh everybody puts their pants on one leg at a time, it doesn't matter, you know. And this disease doesn't care if you're a celebrity or and not a celebrity, it doesn't care if you're a man or a woman, doesn't care what race you are, doesn't care what religion you are, it is trying to take us all out, and uh we stand together and we can fight against it. And that was so great. I loved everything about that answer. Thank you, Marcy. Krista, we've done a bunch of interviews. Who's been your favorite so far? She's gonna say Marcy. Thank you. Yay. Oh, she is having she's having so many glitches. We miss you. She's so mad at me. Who's our who's your favorite person? So frustrating. So frustrating. Um my favorite person. So delayed. I'm telling it's like she's giving us dramatic pauses, Marcy. This is uh we got you. You're we got you. What is it doing? Uh probably the sober girls group chat. Oh, yeah, that was so good. We had uh so between um these eight women that were on here a couple weeks ago for uh Women's History Month, uh, they started this group chat, they go on vacations together, they do all the stuff, and you know, there's uh a hundred years of sobriety between them, and uh and it's just there's so much love and so much uh so much they care, they care, they care about one another, and they care about helping other people, and that's their common bond, you know, they're in recovery, they help other people, and they're all uh Instagrammers and Tiki Talkers and all that stuff, and it's so great. Uh I and I knew I knew Krista was gonna say that, but uh um okay, so uh so you you've got a big Instagram following, you're big for your podcast and stuff. On one of your Instagram posts, uh semi-recently, I think, you wrote uh, you know, about the the quiet of early recovery. The quiet of early recovery, um, which uh that took me back, and it took me back and it made me think a lot about the quiet of early recovery. Tell me your thoughts on that. Yeah, the quiet of early recovery. Well, the quiet of early recovery for me is really it's you feel like you're in this alone, and you you have so much shame and guilt, and there's so much suffering. Uh and that's that's the quiet reality of the beginning of this journey. And the thing is, is that we have to be a part of a community, and we have to start speaking our emotions and our our feelings, and really listening to others so that we can break free of that quiet suffering. And the more and more that we feel comfortable in that and we can forgive ourselves for that, we have the ability to then find our voice. It's so big, you know. When when we come into recovery, we suffer from low self-esteem. And it's that's a common factor, you know. And you know, if uh if we were all winning, we probably wouldn't be at meetings. But uh, we get in there and the guilt, the shame, the remorse, the sadness, the sadness of the person that I had become, you know. But uh, but you know what I think hit me the most uh about this statement was the the lie. The lie. I had been living this lie trying to get people to believe that I was doing way better than I actually was. And the dishonesty, and I lied to my lied to myself uh more than anything, and and the quiet of it all was not being able to say what was actually going on with me, and you know, what was actually going on in my head and what was actually going through, not being able to be honest and talk about these things. So when I when you when you when you wrote that about the quiet, that's what I really thought of. And I know you talk about trauma a lot, and that's that's so big because people will take that trauma and just bury it deep inside and live with it because they're so scared to talk about it. Um, and you know, with with people like you and people like Krista and people that are recovering out loud, and they're telling on this trauma and allowing other people to to relate and come back and say, Oh my goodness, that happened to me too. And then they can be vocal about it. That quiet is is is you know breaking free, and it's so awesome, you know. That's go ahead. Well, just when it comes to trauma, I mean, this lives within our bodies, even though we think that we're not going to think about it or we're gonna push it down as far as we can, it's still always there, and the trauma affects our brain. It's like there's all these things that we can do, but the reality is how this trauma changes our brain, how alcohol changes our brain, right? And and it's it's the things that we learn through the program or each other that can allow us to rewire our thinking and release that trauma so that then we don't have to continue to live with it and let it overtake us. So, you know, like for me, like writing my book, Chaotic Clarity, like I you can tell your friend all day, maybe that about a trauma, traumatic uh event, but you're not really healing from that. You're just staying in the story, right? So we tell it, we tell a story to as many people that maybe will listen or that we feel comfortable with because you we want them to feel sorry for us, but it's not really necessarily, it's what it's more about being a victim. And so it's about learning how to really release it and heal from it. And uh, you know, writing my book was very, very cathartic for me. I mean, I those things no longer define me. They're no longer, I never, I don't live in those stories anymore. Um, it's something that happened to me. It's something that happened to me. And um I don't have to stay stuck in that anymore. I don't have to be the girl that was sexually abused and made decisions from that that that I wasn't happy about. Um and it and to know it wasn't my fault. There's there's other things that I've started becoming very vocal about uh from that also. And you know, that's about being raped in a in a situation where you've had too much to drink or in a blackout and you feel shame that you put yourself in that situation and it's not your fault. So it's just the more and more that we heal, the more and more that we do the things that we're told to do and we take the action every day, the more we can become vocal and heal from the things that we we have hidden for so long. Because every year, every moment that I do this, I get stronger and stronger and more verbal about my story so that I can help others to know that they're not alone in that. And there's so many of us that stay stuck in the things like that I did this, I'm shameful for that. Well, no, somebody took advantage of you in a situation where you weren't of your right mind. It doesn't mean you asked for it. That's somebody else that made a terrible decision, and you don't need to live in that shame for that. So I'm just sorry, I'm kind of going on a rampage. It's just no, absolutely no. This is this this is the that quiet that we're talking about right now. This is where people, you know, it's this, you know, anybody who's been in that situation that you're in, there's so many that are living that same exact scenario that you're talking about right now that have been in a situation that blame themselves. No, it's not your fault, right? It's not your fault, and that's uh, and by being able to vocalize it and get out of that quiet of early recovery, um, is uh is you know that's what will ultimately break that cycle because that's the cycle, that's the cycle. I live in my head, I have grief over things that I think are my fault, and I drink over them, I use over them, and I numb those thoughts and numb those feelings. The problem is that when the numbing goes away, those thoughts and feelings are there again. And what do we do? After your nervous system and all is like so. Now we drink more and we use more and we do more, all to numb those things when in all actuality it was never your fault to begin with. And this is where you know, you know, people like you that are talking about it and recovering out loud and saying what needs to be said. I'm telling you, it's uh the we go on TikTok every morning, right? And we've been doing this since last July. So coming up on uh like nine or ten months. I've learned so much in in this time because we're it we're meeting people from all over the world, and we get lots of new people that come in and they're struggling, and they don't know why they're struggling. And but these these are the rationales, these are the reasons. This is the uh the alcohol and the drugs are but a symptom. It's it's it's in here, it's these thoughts and feelings that need to be expressed, need to be talked about, and you know that's that's the biggest. That's the biggest of them all. I just started uh my venture on TikTok, so I have to find you on there. You have to, you have to. It's uh every morning, it's uh now. Do you go live every morning or you're just posting something every morning? No, we go live every morning, and uh we're live every morning, we're live every morning on Tiki Talkie from 10 a.m. Eastern Standard Time till around noon. So we get about uh between an hour and a half, two hours on average. Uh, we bring up a topic and we'll talk about it, and and we bring up a lot of people. So we get an average of between 20 and 30 people that come up and share on that topic specifically, and uh, and I'm telling you, it's so amazing because it's the it's all the programs and it's all the diseases and it's everything, and it's this hodgepodge community that just come together with vulnerability and trust and love and helping others, and and it's it's awesome, it's awesome. But I've but you definitely I hear way more stories than I would have ever heard just sitting in an AA meeting. Um and and it's it's it gives you the ability to be able to help others more, but if just by having more resources. Yeah, I love that. I love that. Look at and Krista just frozen there. I feel so bad for her with the technical difficulties. Um, so you I want to talk, I want to talk more about your interviews on uh on your show and on your podcast, because you know, there are there are a lot of controversial topics out there. How do you deal with because I mean you cut you bring people on and you know they have a uh they have a controversial, you know, idea, then this is what they're going with, you know. And how do you deal with that? What goes on when uh when that kind of stuff happens? Well, you know, it's funny you say that. I don't I don't really approach controversial um topics. I don't I don't want to touch it. I'm that I don't want to be a part of that. So really I don't have there have been a few times that I've had guests on that controversial things going on in their lives and maybe I didn't realize that and they I had people comment about the person like why would you have them on but I you know I don't want to make anything about I don't want any energy wasted on a controversy in any way. Right? We're we're all together trying to learn something trying to get some help in some area and you take from it what you will but so I don't really touch the controversy and in the things that I do. See now and the reason I ask and that was kind of a loaded question is and it's because next month we are going to be talking about a controversial subject and uh where I where some people call it controversial some people don't but we're going to be talking about math you know medically assisted treatment and you know all of the variations of it we're going to be talking about the advantages of it we're going to talk about the disadvantages of it and you know and this is another thing that you know has opened my eyes and it was actually a guest on never alone never alone live that we had a few months ago that just changed my life forever. And you know me being I've got you know I've been sober 22 years and I go to AA meetings and I know about it you know and I and I've become a stuffy old guy who's stuck in my ways. That's how it works, you know um and uh but I don't know anything about it. So when you know we were interviewing someone who talked about being sexually assaulted as a young person and what did they do? They turned to H. And H numbed the pain and got arrested and all this stuff happened and just that the H never went away because the thoughts never went away and you know she was able to get on Matt and actually get some relief and now she's been sober for coming up on two years and you know she she still does the MAT program but she's gonna wean down and but she isn't using her drug of choice. She isn't on that anymore. And you know I'm telling you it was that story that just said okay I know nothing and this is beautiful and anything that's gonna help somebody get off of something like that is is amazing. So that's why I mean I it's it's gonna be a controversial month. It's gonna be a controversial you know I I appreciate you talking about it I have I have somebody that works um in a recovery center Mountainside recovery which is a recovery center that I'm close with. And she I have expert contributors in my book and that's one of the things that she will be talking about. And I think that that everybody's sober journey is very different. And I think that we do need to be open to all the different ways that people can get help. What work works for one doesn't mean it's going to work for another and if something helps them then I think that it's important that we're open to it. And but it's a choice that somebody makes and I myself I don't go to AA anymore. I I haven't been going for years. And I of course was one of those people that was in AA that the seed was planted that I would be scared to death that I would relapse if I didn't go back. But there were some very negative things that happened to me within the program. And so I have I work the program on my own in many ways if that makes sense. So absolutely and you're right in all forms. Yeah AA save me um but I don't go anymore but I I appreciate that you're going to talk about that because I used to think you know my mother would talk about that and she ended up dying from her disease and my husband and I would say well she's weak if she's going to be needing to everybody just wants a pill to make it better. But you know what maybe my mother would be alive today and sober if she had gotten that help. And that you know you know what that is that's open mindedness and being open mindedness to all forms of recovery. And we can talk about being open minded all day long but until we actually are until we actually you know uh uh accept everything and it's it's it's a whole different ballgame and you know this this all doing all this that we do on here with Never Alone Live the TikTok the the videos the this that it has just opened my eyes to how closed minded I was for such a long time and you know but it's uh it's amazing once uh once you open your eyes because it's freeing and there's and a lot of people that hopefully will be able to get and receive the help that they need um and it's just it's amazing and uh you know Krista is like you she uh she worked AA and then she moved on to a different program which is uh Christian based and it's called Recovery Alive and she loves it and she's actually teaching it to other people and going through the steps with other people I'm so proud of her don't tell her I said that though I don't want her to get big head and it says in the comments that Krista Krista has a new laptop en route as we speak so come next week we'll uh come next week it'll be all different um a miracle um there was uh there was one other question I thought I had uh uh oh what what what have you learned and I know we've kind of danced around this uh this question and topic and everything else but what is the biggest thing that you've learned from all of your interviews and all of your book writing be it from someone else or just about yourself oh well I think one of the biggest is that we are capable of all things and it's really just the belief that we have in ourselves and I just learned that I can do so much more than I ever thought I could do in life and just learning to dream bigger and bigger because I always thought so little of myself and I never thought I was capable. And as I continue to follow the path that God has put me on and I believe in myself and and even if I'm afraid I do it anyway um I realize that I I can do I can do what I need to do to make a difference. And even if I'm doing it afraid because it anything in our lives that we do it's not about waiting until we're ready it's about taking the action and doing it. Because if we wait until we're ready we're never going to do it. Even if I'm afraid I do it anyway. Marcy Hopkins thank you so much for being on here with us today. This has been so amazing and I uh what a great conversation and I really hope that uh some of our friends who are on uh in the comments you know and they will all agree with me uh that this was phenomenal and what a way to end uh women's history month um Marcy uh thank you so much thank you everyone for coming out here and listening um everybody go follow Marcy uh she's gonna be joining us every morning uh Tiki Talkie now um and uh and we will uh see you all next week uh God loves you and so do we um have a great day