We Got High Before Dr. Phil | Three Sisters' Recovery Story

What are the odds that three sisters would all struggle with heroin addiction, appear on Dr. Phil together, and survive to tell the story?

In this episode of Never Alone Live, sisters Amanda Crossley, Valeen Holloway, and Tiffany Holloway share their incredible journey through addiction, treatment, relapse, recovery, and rebuilding their lives.

The sisters discuss what it was really like being filmed while actively using drugs, traveling to Hollywood for Dr. Phil, entering treatment, and having millions of people witness some of the darkest moments of their lives. They also share how recovery looked different for each of them, the challenges of staying sober when family members are struggling, and how they support one another today.

This conversation is honest, funny, emotional, and filled with hope. From heroin addiction and national television to motherhood, healing, and recovery, these sisters prove that no one is beyond redemption.

Whether you're struggling yourself or love someone who is, this episode is a reminder that recovery is possible and that it's never too late to change your life.

You are never alone.

#NeverAloneRecovery #NeverAloneLive #Addiction #podcast #wedorecover #sober #sobriety #DrPhil #AddictionRecovery #RecoveryPodcast #Sobriety #HeroinRecovery #RecoveryJourney #RecoveryIsPossible #FamilyRecovery #MentalHealth #RecoverOutLoud

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

I don't welcome, welcome, welcome everyone to Never Alone Live. Uh strap in and uh buckle up because we are gonna have a good time today. I'm so excited. We have uh, as usual, Krista, the sober Barbie, I'm Johnny, and our friend Amanda. Amanda, who is a longtime friend of Never Alone Live. You've been on here a few times.

SPEAKER_03 0:38

Um yeah, this is my third time.

SPEAKER_00 0:41

Your third. I you're you're on here more than I am. That's awesome. Um, and uh we are joined here by your sisters. Uh, you want to introduce your sisters?

SPEAKER_03 0:52

Yeah, so uh we have Valen here, she's my older sister, and then we have Tiffany here, she's my little sister, and all three of us got loaded together, and now we're all sober together.

SPEAKER_00 1:10

Okay, so you know, I I was thinking a lot about this. So 12 years ago, right? 12 years ago, you guys went on Dr. Phil, and you went on Dr. Phil and just came out and said it all, and you know, talked about your talked about your addiction, talked about your disease, talked about everything. You know what? I want to say that you guys are kind of like the originator of recover out loud, right? You know, this was this was before, you know, uh uh the recover out loud movement was enormous, and you guys were out on Dr. Phil just straight up saying, Yep, here we are.

SPEAKER_03 1:50

Um pretty much blasted our like addiction, you know what I mean, and like our deepest, darkest secrets, and not really knowing, just knowing that we were gonna go to treatment and but we didn't know like what was gonna happen like next. But like, yeah, so we are truly like a success story, you know, and that all three of us are heroin addicts and like we're all still alive, you know, which is you know, I mean, thank God, you know.

SPEAKER_02 2:21

It's crazy though, because I don't think that we did it intentionally. Do you know what we went into this? I don't think grasping fully what was going to happen at all.

SPEAKER_03 2:30

We just wanted treatment. We don't we don't come from money and we didn't have health insurance, and we knew going on there, that's all we were thinking about is that we would go to treatment. We like totally missed the point, the part of like, hey, you know, the whole world is about to see like all of this happening.

SPEAKER_02 2:48

I have no idea why I told him the truth about everything, like literally everything. I have no clue.

SPEAKER_00 2:54

Dr. Phil just pulls it out of you, right?

SPEAKER_02 2:57

Oh no, this is before we met him. Yeah, they were very honest. I was so honest. I told way more stuff than I ever would want the whole world to know about me, ever.

SPEAKER_01 3:08

And he asked really hard questions, and they they answered it. I would have curled up in a little ball and cried. I probably think I was super high.

SPEAKER_00 3:17

We were high, I was very high. So you were high while you were on Dr. Phil, while you're coming clean, we asked them that too.

SPEAKER_02 3:27

They followed us around for a few days um beforehand with the like the camera guy, you know, with the mic and all that. So we were just doing drugs.

SPEAKER_03 3:38

Yeah, we flew to Hollywood with drugs because we we would be sick if we didn't have anything, so we needed to get high, and so then um we all did like our last shot, like right before like walk, like before we went into the studio.

SPEAKER_00 3:54

Yeah, that's wild. That's wild. All right, so let's talk, let's uh let's let's go around. How what was this experience like for you to go on Dr. Phil to talk about it just uh and being blunt and honest?

SPEAKER_02 4:08

I think that I had a whole made-up life. Um, and I had all these lies because I was constantly trying to get something from everybody around me, and everything was made up, and it all was my whole life was based around drugs. So going and then doing this, and then everybody knowing everything about me. It was when I woke up in treatment, I just remember like I was dope sick, and I remember thinking, what the hell did I just do? I don't even think I took what I could take in what just happened. And uh, you know, and then after that, everybody knew everything about me. And to be honest, I think it was like a blessing in disguise because then I had no more secrets anymore, you know, and there was nothing anybody could say that was going to, you know, be worse than what I already just said about myself and really accepting that. And then I had a lot of people reach out to me, you know, saying how powerful it was. And people were showing up at the treatment center I was at, saying that they watched the episode, and that's how like their parents sent them there, or that happened probably like seven times while I was in there for five months, six months. So it happened a lot, and that was like the reward was you know, and I was getting my life back. Was it a little shameful? Yes.

SPEAKER_00 5:26

Tiffany, Tiffany, same question to you. What was uh what was your experience like with all this?

SPEAKER_05 5:34

Um, so when we like got the call that we were going on Dr. Phil, I just got out of jail. So I uh I was in shock, but I just wanted all of us to get help, you know, because if one of us would get sent away and then we'd come right back and start using again because the other two are still using it was just like hard. But then uh yeah, I got out of jail and I was much heavier in weight, and I had pimples all over my face, and I was like, oh my god, we're about to go on national television and spill all of our shit. And uh yeah, so I I was kind of just like in shock, and then when we went on stage and did that whole thing, it was still just like surreal. Like, is this really happening? And then same, like I woke up in treatment, just like what the hell just happened? What the I I was just more like in shock, like it it just wasn't real.

SPEAKER_00 6:31

This is this is this is so wild. So millions of people saw you guys on Dr. Phil. That millions of people, right? And uh, you know, he's a very popular show. Um, how did uh and we'll and we'll start with you, Amanda, because I don't think we asked this question. How did how did you feel after knowing that millions of people saw you kind of at your worst?

SPEAKER_03 6:57

Um, well, I was like really secretive about it. Like I lived like a double life, like a lot. I feel like you know, I I like hid it for a long time. So when I knew that that was gonna happen, yeah, the guilt, the shame, everything was like kicking in. And um, and then I like the show aired in November when we were all in treatment. So I watched it and it's like TV, right? You know, like yeah, I lived through it and I was on the stage and it was bad. We didn't realize how bad it was until we got on the stage, and my parents, like Dr. Phil's Yona at my parents, like and everything that happened, that's all I remembered, but I was also high. So, like when I lived, I was like, whoa, that was traumatic. But then when I watched it and saw how like I only watched it twice ever in my life, but when I watched it the first time I was in treatment with like all the staff and everything, watched it, and it was worse than I thought because you know, my parents did their their interviews. I didn't get to hear what they like said secretly. I didn't get to hear what my sister said secretly, like you know, in the interviews. And um yeah, it was just really, really bad. So I was just like so fearful. And but then like Valen said, I started getting all these in my Facebook, you know, everybody in my town was sharing like like one little clip, you know, and I just but I got like probably like over. I opened up when I got my phone back, I had like 500 messages in Facebook of all these people like rooting for you and just like da da da, you know what I mean? And then I was just like, okay, and I was going through it with them. I wasn't like alone in it, and you know, so that's why it just it felt like you know, better. And then everybody started opening up, messaging me about like, oh, my brother's going through this, or like, hey, I'm going through this. And so then that's like what we talked about. It just became like, okay, whoa, this is like this is happening everywhere, you know what I mean? And like it it is like my superpower now. Like, what am I gonna do with this, you know? And um yeah, that's when like the recovery journey like really like took off, but of course, guilt, shame, and like everything, because it's just like cringy that like that, you know what I mean? Like this be this wasn't supposed to be our lives, right? And like there it was happening because it could happen to anyone, but you don't ever think it's gonna happen to you.

SPEAKER_00 9:21

So it's so and so we know a bit of Amanda's story. So Amanda came on here and told us that that you guys, uh Valen and Tiffany, you guys were the troublemaker, she was the good girl, right? And uh, and then now here I'm I'm quite this is me asking, is that true?

SPEAKER_01 9:38

Was that usually what the middle child says?

SPEAKER_00 9:41

Was that how it went down? I mean, we we need it's actually kind of true. It's actually kind of true, it's kind of true, okay.

SPEAKER_02 9:47

Yeah, but she's just a lot better at hiding it. Oh okay, like that's yeah, she's a lot better at hiding it. I am always outwardly just you know, spazzy.

SPEAKER_00 10:05

What's the what's the age differences between you guys?

SPEAKER_02 10:09

I'll be 39 next week.

SPEAKER_03 10:11

Yeah, so we're all two years apart because I'll be this year, I'll be 37. I'm 36 right now, and then Tiffany is uh 30, and then I'll turn 35.

SPEAKER_00 10:26

So you guys partied together, and you guys were probably each other's best friends and worst enemies when you're out there partying. Um, and then you get the opportunity to all go into recovery together. Was it kind of the same thing? You're the best friends and the worst enemies as well. Yeah, we're sisters. I'll give that to you, Valen.

SPEAKER_02 10:50

That's uh we're sisters. I feel like we always I don't know. If you have sisters, you know, we we fight with each other, you know, always and forever. There's no dishonesty if we are upset with each other, we let each other know. But we recover very quickly from it. We don't stay mad at each other, and we've been through a lot together. So they'll always be my best friends and my biggest op at the same time, you know, my sister.

SPEAKER_00 11:20

Well, I mean, because you guys growing up together, you get you get a different camaraderie than you know, people that you might just meet at the rooms. I mean, it's it's you've all gone through a struggle together, but growing up together, it's just different. I've got I've got multiple siblings that don't know all the dirt on me, and it's uh they know everything. And so they're quick to you know throw a judgment out or throw something else out or you know, uh poke at me when I I need to be poked at. So that that had to that had to help a little bit in recovery, right?

SPEAKER_02 11:54

You know, I always tell people that my sisters could probably shoot me in the leg and I would still text them happy birthday. With that's you know, that's how I describe my relationship with them.

SPEAKER_00 12:07

Yeah, so uh Tiffany, what do you what do you think about that? What was it like going to treatment? You guys all went to the same treatment together. No, wait, wait, wait, back up. So tell me what happened after you went on Dr. Phil. After you went on Dr. Phil, what happened after that?

SPEAKER_02 12:26

They sent me to an island in Texas, yeah, because I was the ringleader, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 12:33

And I went to Orange County, uh, California to treatment, and Tiffany, they sent her to Orange County, California too, but we went to all three of us went to different treatment centers, and they told us we were not allowed to like talk to each other um for some time and like be around each other, like you need to separate, is what they like said to us.

SPEAKER_02 12:56

Yeah, we weren't allowed to talk for six months, seven months.

SPEAKER_03 13:02

Yeah. But we I mean, like, of course, we like text each other and stuff like that, you know what I mean? And then Tiffany, my treatment center, I they took me to a meeting and I saw Tiffany there at the meeting, and I was like, Oh my god, like and then staff found out, and then they wouldn't allow me to ever go back to that meeting that she would go to, and they would send me to a different meeting. So, but yeah, they wanted us to be separate because you know, I guess like it's true, like we just were it was a toxic relationship with all three of us of getting like high together, you know, and like all it took for us is if like one bad day, like we would be like, dude, let's just go get high right now. You know what I mean? Like, that's what we did, you know, together. So it was smart, like code codependency, yeah, with each other, so codependent.

SPEAKER_02 13:54

My mom, too. Yeah, so yeah, it was we were all super sick together, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:01

See, I don't I don't get it. I mean, I understand you guys uh use together, and you gotta kind of separate, you know, people, places, and things, and but you also are probably each other's best cheerleaders, right? You know, and you push each other on, and and I mean that's in for recovery for me. That's what uh that's the big thing that we do, our the tiki-talkie in the morning, you know, love that, and we get to be cheerleaders for everybody that comes in, and uh and I can see you guys being great cheerleaders for each other, but maybe not initially, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:36

Not an easy heal on our own.

SPEAKER_03 14:38

Yeah, we needed to heal on our own, but then like I'm as like I said, once we got our all got our phones back, we all text and like talk to each other on the phone, but we just like couldn't like see each other, and that was like okay, you know.

SPEAKER_00 14:56

So um Amanda, you went to treatment and have stayed sober ever since, and and then now you guys have both have had issues uh since then, and you didn't stay sober right away.

SPEAKER_05 15:10

No, no.

SPEAKER_00 15:12

So what happened? Dr. Phil didn't fix you.

SPEAKER_05 15:16

Take it away, Tip. Uh so take it away, T. So after Dr. Phil, I was sober for a little while, and uh, I was still very sick mentally. So I uh I did start smoking weed again when I was in California, and then I moved back to New Jersey and I uh had one more run at it. I uh I had a myth run and then I had another heroin run, and then that's when I called Valen, who was in Texas, and that's when I went to treatment again, and that was the last time I done heroin, so it was more like I left to my own devices, I retreated back into my old ways, and I sat there like, How did I get here again? But I I wasn't done, you know, like uh even with going on national television, going to treatment, it just I I wasn't ready. So then I had a few more runs at it, and then now this time, I mean, I haven't done hard drugs in years, but I couldn't stop smoking weed this last time, so now that's why I'm sober a little over two months because I I finally put it down and uh made the jump to sober Sally.

SPEAKER_00 16:34

Well, I mean, there's a there's there's a difference, right? You know, there's uh you know, there's a lot of people that are Cali sober. Um, there's a lot of people that are 100% abstinent. There's people on Matt, there's people, you know, there's it's different strokes for different folks, you know. You got off your the hard stuff, you know, and uh, you know tried a few other ways.

SPEAKER_05 16:59

Well that was the thing, like being Cali sober well.

SPEAKER_00 17:06

Uh-oh, she's breaking up on us. She's breaking up on anybody else or just me?

SPEAKER_03 17:09

Yeah, me too. No.

SPEAKER_00 17:17

Look, uh, someone in the someone in the comments, Rochelle uh says, I'm from California, but not California sober. I thought it was kind of funny. All right, so Val, what's uh tell me your story? What happened?

SPEAKER_02 17:32

Um, oh my god. Okay, I got a year sober and then I started smoking weed, drinking occasionally. Um, I got pregnant with my daughter. So I was sober again until I had her. And then, you know, mentally I was unwell, but uh there wasn't really any like, you know, consequences that were super terrible. It's not the same as like when I was, you know, doing heroin. So I just kind of rode that out for a while and uh not really like, but very unwell mentally. And then in 2021, I um it was around, it was right after like all the shutdowns, COVID, and uh I was a manager in a restaurant and I started working a lot of hours. And then the thought crept in, I should, you know, take some Adderall, that'll help this. And then within, I don't know, six months, I was doing mess. It just took one person to say, Do you want to do some mess? And I said, Well, sure. I was super afraid to do heroin because I was, I just feel like in my brain, I told myself that if I ever did heroin again, like that's it, you know, like that's what I sell my soul for. I did mess for about seven months, I think, and I had every consequence on a man. It was an actual nightmare. Um, and so then I haven't done hard drugs since 2021, but I would drink or smoke weed occasionally, and um, so that stopped December 4th, 2024. So now I've just been sober sally, as Tip would say.

SPEAKER_00 19:04

Love that, love that, love that Amanda. So, how did how did it feel for you, you know, getting sober? You guys all went through this experience. Well, you hit went through a lot of experiences, but then you go through the Dr. Phil experience, you go, you get sober right off the giddy up, you know, and then you see your sister struggling. How did that make you feel?

SPEAKER_03 19:26

Um, well, at first, like in the very beginning, you know, I'm like, oh, this is cool. We all have the same sobriety date, like this is awesome. And then once Tiffany, like I found out like she was smoking weed, because that like I think she maybe lasted like almost six months sober. And you know, I was just kind of like, oh damn, you know, but like I don't know, I was like, okay, maybe this will work for her if that's all she's doing. Like trying not to be like judgmental. And then when Valen, after like a year sober, because she was like, we started really talking about, you know, like we were both in a 12-step program, really like relating that talking, sharing our like recovery, and then she was like, I'm not gonna, you know, be sober anymore. I was like pretty like bummed out, but again, like I was just trusting, like I truly didn't know like what worked, you know what I mean? Like if they wanted to drink a little bit and smoke weed, I was just like, okay, whatever. But then and it wasn't like causing issues in their their lives, right? And then obviously when the big things happen, and you know, back on heroin and like smoking meth. Then I was like, I find myself like you know, I know all the things, I know, you know, that I can't fix anyone, get anyone sober, but like I found myself like everything went out the window, like screaming, like, you need to get help, you're going. Like, all like you know, it's just like everything went out the window. So I was definitely bummed, you know, but trying to be supportive still and not trying to like judge and um but yeah, it was hard, you know, because I just knew that if they to just stay sober, like none of this, like this wouldn't happen, right? Because we get this like freedom, we know what it feels like, we want everyone to feel it, so I wanted them to feel it, right? But also I know that I can't I'm I couldn't push it on them, but we would get advice for sure, and then they would feel like they couldn't come to me because it was I'm I'm already sober, like it's I have it easy, like they don't know I don't know the struggle anymore because I'm already doing it, right? But so it was just like hard, you know, but I feel like we navigated it pretty well and like constantly were like supporting each other each other because like again, like you said, Johnny, like I we are each other like biggest cheerleaders. I mean, and I can talk shit and say whatever I want to them, they can do that to me too. But like if you two talk shit about them, I'd fight you both. You know what I'm saying? Like that's just how it goes with us. So like It's it was just it was definitely hard for me because I wanted them to be sober so bad, but they just needed to figure it out themselves. And they did, you know, for now.

SPEAKER_00 22:13

And and and it's so hard. It's so hard, you know, because I so from my own personal experience, I have family members that, you know, have found recovery. And you know, my little sister, who I I love more than anything, her and her husband. Uh, it was our big piss party is Christmas Eve, right? And they missed Christmas Eve because they were too drunk. And the next day I get the call and I I lost my shit and I went crazy and I'm yelling and screaming, and you missed Christmas, you know, and uh and but that led to they I dropped both of them off at detox the next day, and uh they've been they both have been sober for seven years, but I I I got out of it right after that. I took them to detox and then sent them to meetings where I had friends. I knew that I could not get them sober, keep them sober, I could give them a push, but that was about it, you know. And when and fan dealing with family is like that. Dealing with family is hard, you know.

SPEAKER_02 23:21

I tried to fight Tiffany like deal with family.

SPEAKER_00 23:23

I know her family.

SPEAKER_02 23:25

Yeah, I tried to fight Tiffany like three times, I think. When I caught her.

SPEAKER_05 23:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:33

Right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 23:35

But I got to the point where I would hide it and then Malling would see me, and then she would ask me and be like, dude, are you back on drugs? And I wouldn't even lie anymore. I would just be like, Yeah. And she'd look at me like, oh shit, I wasn't expecting you to tell me the truth. So yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:55

You know, dealing with dealing with family is the toughest. Krista, you want to talk on this one?

SPEAKER_01 24:01

Well, I can't um speak a lot on what's going on with my family, but I'm one of I have two sisters, too. And what one's an ormy and one thing I I I can't speak on it, but um, I know what it's like to love somebody who is struggling and you can't recover for them. My husband struggled quite a bit, quite a bit. And um I kind of can relate to Amanda, like I got it, you know, and and I tried to do what I could for him, and then I think I tried to recover for him was the thing, and then he relapsed, and I was like, You're married to sober Barbie. Like, how could you relapse? And it was like the whole thing, and um, but everything goes out the window, everything goes out the window when it's family. Like, I can love the stranger down the street, but when it's like someone you love, it's like literally everything goes out the window when you're trying to be compassionate and whatever, you know, and um it's hard, it really is. But once they get it, it's cool to have somebody in your corner that you can talk to and understands like the whole recovery part, and you want to heal together, you know, you want to be better. And um, I love that you guys are like a triple superpower now, you know, it's pretty cool.

SPEAKER_00 25:22

It all boils down to like-mindedness, and you know, we have the like-minded experience of using, uh, but when you had the like-minded experience of being raised together and learning and playing together as children, and then you know, you've got it it all expands, it all becomes bigger, and uh, and you know, and it's a it's a beautiful thing. I know it is between my my sister, my brother-in-law now, and you know, we have a a shared thing. And my grandmother was the person that got me sober. Uh, she was 26 years sober when I came in. She never went to a meeting with me. She never uh she sent me to her girls, and my first meeting was uh me and a bunch of old ladies, but uh uh she never went to a meeting with me, and she knew that she couldn't get me sober, but she could be a cheerleader for me, and she rooted me on, and she was the greatest. And uh and uh and I love that you guys have each other, even though I have a question. Amanda, who would win in a fight between Tiffany and Valen?

SPEAKER_03 26:27

I mean, honestly, it's like hard because Tip, like I feel like has like the strength, but Valen, like I always she's very scrappy and like psycho.

SPEAKER_05 26:37

Like she has like she has the crazy, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 26:40

She has like the crazy in her, you know, so it would definitely be a close call for sure.

SPEAKER_02 26:48

I think Tip's stronger than me now. Yeah, look.

SPEAKER_00 26:55

That's my that's my favorite question of this uh of this conversation today. Uh that was unscripted and uh it's a good question.

SPEAKER_02 27:05

I'm getting a little older now, you know? A little older.

SPEAKER_00 27:09

Well, a little older, a little wiser. Uh so what do you do now? What do you do now to keep your sobriety? And who wants Tiff, we're gonna go with you first.

SPEAKER_05 27:22

Uh so currently, right now, I'm kind of raw dogging it. Uh, I know that I should be more intertwined with the program. I mean, I uh I'm a workaholic, so I work a lot. And uh so I started when I first got sober a couple months ago, I was like, I dove deep into it, but then we got to the four step and I kind of like you know, shut down. And I'm fully aware because avoidance is one of my uh main patterns that I I hold on to. So I know right now that uh I need to reach out to my sponsor and finish this four step and do a fifth step. So it's just me swallowing my pride and and getting back into the mix. But currently, right now, I'm I work out, I uh I try to stay positive, like uh do affirmations and I go the spiritual route and I just like it's a lot in my mind, but I do need to like jump back into the program, get some relief because I'm kind of raw dogging it at the moment.

SPEAKER_00 28:30

Nice uh we got we hashtag, make sure we put hashtag raw dog in there. We want to come up on all the the Google. If somebody puts that in Google, we want this to pop up.

SPEAKER_06 28:45

So yeah, right.

SPEAKER_00 28:50

What do you do? What's your uh what's your recovery like now?

SPEAKER_02 28:54

Um, so I've been in therapy weekly for like uh three and a half years. Um I just got back into the program. So I've been going to meetings again for a few months. I try to go at least like once a week. Um, you know, I have a sponsor. Um I I journal, I read a lot before bed. I do all sorts, oh, I work out. Um, I do a lot of different things. I try to meditate at least like four times a week. I'm one of those like freak shows that like in the beginning I did anything that I thought would help. And then anything that sticks, I don't have it in like I don't have it in a routine, but I do them regularly, you know? So I just be doing all sorts of stuff because I have to. Sometimes I wake up very mad because I'm real tired of doing all this stuff, but I have to remember why I'm doing it.

SPEAKER_00 29:46

You know, you you also you also sniper in on Tiki Toki meetings. Just creeping, just creeping, just creeping. It was uh I'm gonna tell this to everybody. So I were we had our first conversation the other day to talk about what we were gonna talk about, and it was just us, the two of us on the call initially, and it's just I kind of like I know you're like what what do you mean? Comes into the meeting and that but doesn't come in and talk to us.

SPEAKER_02 30:16

Well, because okay, I'm getting ready for work, or I'm at the gym, or I'm at work, or I'm driving to work. So I in that time frame, I have a lot of activities, so I'll comment a little, you know, go birds or something like that, and then I keep going.

SPEAKER_00 30:32

She got more excuses than anybody. I got a lot going on.

SPEAKER_01 30:36

I think I'm a mother, you know. I see honesty. I see honesty. Not there's a lot.

SPEAKER_00 30:42

I can't come up with that. I'm walking the dog and I'm doing this, and I got this, and I got this. Okay, I'm good with it. I'm good with it. I'm just uh busting your chops. But uh, and and Amanda never comes on our Tiki Takie. I think these guys should come and take over the tiki tacky.

SPEAKER_03 30:57

Okay, we're on like a different time. It's like 7 a.m. Yeah, and I'm getting the kids ready for school and taking them to school.

SPEAKER_00 31:07

It doesn't matter what I say right now because I got there, guys. There's too many women in here right now.

SPEAKER_01 31:13

I'm the fourth sister, yes. So we're five years. I'm actually the oldest. I'll be 40 this year, so I run this.

SPEAKER_00 31:20

I got so let's uh let's uh we're gonna we're gonna kind of pivot, right? Um, you know, uh I want to talk about the recover out loud movement, and because you guys are you guys are all influencers. And but first you got you know on Dr. Phil where you were seen by millions and millions of people, but now you guys are on the Instagram and Facebook and all this other stuff, and you post a lot about your recovery, you post a lot about life. Um what's what's that like? What does that look like for you guys? Amanda, I'll start with you.

SPEAKER_03 32:00

Um I feel like I just like do it. Um, I'm like a huge recover out loud, you know, person because I know for me, like it's just some like I needed I need to see people that like you know are actually doing it, you know, that can do it and it is possible. So like I hold on to that. So um but yeah, like again, like I said, it's just like my superpower now, and I just like to, you know, share with others, like, you know, this the struggles and like the good things and then still struggling, like sober, you know, life isn't perfect, things still happen, you know. So um I think that's like why I do it. I don't like every time we all post together or we post, like I don't I don't do it like for for the views. I don't ever look at the numbers or anything like that. It's just because like I just do it because I just like like to, you know, and like it's just like it's kind of like fun for me and I I get a lot of messages. I've sponsored um women like across the the country, like you know, just like it's just super cool to do and to carry a message. And I feel like like you guys, like we just all have a story, you know, to share. So like why not? And plus again, like the people seeing that the bad part on Dr. Phil, it's just like good to share now. Like, hey, like look, look at what happened, like this is where we're at now, and um, especially when we're all together and we we you know just like make videos together because it's just like we have really dark sense of humor, and a lot of people relate to that, you know, and it's just like and then a lot of people don't, and then they they just hate, you know, and and that's okay too, you know. But um yeah, it's just uh it's just a cool thing to to do now, you know. But as aside like from that, I do stuff like outside privately. I don't film like everything, you know. I do work as a 12-step program, I do sponsor a lot of people, I do speak at treatment centers and like all these like other things. I just like don't like film like a lot of that. That's just like my like real, like you know, some things, it just whatever I want to put out there, I do, you know. But I think it's just again to share.

SPEAKER_00 34:24

Absolutely, you know, we had a conversation this morning on uh on the live stream, and the topic was uh we turn our pain into purpose, and you know, I would love to hear what you guys think about that, especially having you guys have so much different times in sobriety, you're in different stages of your journey. You know, what does that mean to you, Valen? What is that what is turning pain into purpose mean?

SPEAKER_02 34:51

I I don't I feel like the vibe with all three of us, none of us can lie and we just like say things, you know. Um, I can't stop myself from being me. And I carried around all this pain, like, you know, losing custody of my daughter, uh losing a lot of friends, um, you know, family problems, marital problems, all these things, right? And then I find that when I talk about these things, not even just like, you know, on online, but in real life, that most people unfortunately will relate to something you got going on in some way, shape, or form, or they know somebody. And I think that's what's giving me purpose. You know, and it's it's it's a lonely being in pain, it's lonely. It's so lonely and it's so isolating, and it's just, you know, and then you talk to somebody who who gets it, or somebody hears what you're saying, or you know, somebody feels comfortable enough to tell me what they got going on because you know, I'm open about my pain. And I think that's like what my where my purpose lies.

SPEAKER_00 36:03

Yeah, and that's a that's a beautiful thing. And that's see, this is where you know, it's more than just recovery from alcohol and and drugs. It's from it's from mental health, it's from life, you know. We all have traumas, we all have things we're going through now. And when we recover out loud, we're not just recovering from uh substance, we're recovering from what's going on in here, you know. The depression, anxiety, mental health stuff is just is just something that we all need to be talking about all the time, I think. And because that's truly what helps people the most. And you know, hey, I'm I'm broken. And just saying that, just saying that, I'm broken, you know, that helps somebody because they get to say, Oh shit, I'm broken too, you know, and uh, which is amazing, and I I love that. Um, Tiffany, what do you think about all this pain in the purpose recover out loud stuff?

SPEAKER_05 37:03

Uh, so I'm more of a closed book when it comes to that kind of stuff. I mean, like, I I talk to my sisters about it or my friends, but like I'm not online saying all of my stuff. Where I'm starting to get a little more comfortable with it, and because uh I do have a crazy story on me because I was insane when I was in active addiction and I was very impulsive and I did a lot of weird, dumb shit. So it's uh it's more of me just getting more comfortable in it. I mean, with my real life and friends and like people I meet on a daily basis, like I do like if a conversation, I will say something random and they look at me like, what the hell? Like, I didn't know that you had a past like that. So it it does, I do make it relatable to people that I meet in real life. It's just now getting more comfortable with doing it online and recovering fully out loud because I have just always hid, you know, and and hid my problems and pain, and just I'm not big on talking about since Dr. Phil kind of shut me down because it was like, okay, well, let me put all of your shit out there on national television. So then it's like, ooh, I'm just gonna clam up and uh just speak when it gets to a point of like, hey, this is like really crippling me, and then I'll talk about it. So I do know that I'm getting better with practice of like opening up and talking about it more and more, and it does feel good, and and it does help me help others, which is like the goal, you know, help another person, and and it makes you feel better, and and uh so it's just more of me practicing it because it is something that is foreign to me, and especially with having both my sisters now, like really talking about it all outward and on a daily recurrence. I'm like, okay, like I it is it is possible, and they they're my biggest fans, and they're like Timmy, you should you should talk about it more, you should, please, you should, this and that, and I'm like, you know, it feels it feels good to have that validation because it is something that I've just been fearful of because I've always just been better about hiding, hiding my pain.

SPEAKER_00 39:27

See, and and I and that's why this is so awesome to me because all the different perspectives that we have, you know, and you know, I've been sober for a long time, and it's only the past year since I got introduced to some crazy blonde that um that I you know I'm out and talking about this on social media, you know, and uh, you know, Krista said, Hey, let's just uh go on Tiki Talk and read for 10 minutes, and you know, now we're on there for two hours a day and we get to genuinely help people, and it's changed my whole perspective on all of it. And um, you know, I uh I was that you know not a fan of social media before, social media recovery before, and you know, and now it's like it's just a whole different ball game because people can relate and they can you know get better because they're seeing your guys' journey and they're and they're watching you guys, and and it's amazing. I'm and we get we got Krista who is the uh the the recover out loud influencer. I'm telling she's she's she's a favorite for a lot of people, you know. And how long you you've been on for five years doing this, right?

SPEAKER_01 40:42

Six covet.

SPEAKER_03 40:46

Yeah, yeah, and I've been like following her since back then. We've been friends on social media for like a long time.

SPEAKER_01 40:55

And I watch their whole the whole sober girls group chat like develop and like see all of them come together. And but with recover out loud, like there's such a release. Like it is it's pain to purpose, but like there's just a release of just sharing it out there because you don't know who's gonna see it. Like I know so many people who are just when they're down and maybe going through withdrawals or whatever, and they're just sitting there scrolling and like just praying for a sign. And what if like one of our videos is their sign they needed to see, you know? Because when I went when I went on social media, I was desperate for prayers for my husband. I was about to lose him to addiction and possibly bury him. And I just I needed prayers and I had I got them, you know, and then I I realized I had a platform and I had to switch it up and I'm like, you know what? And I'm watching Amanda and a bunch of the other girls just sharing their story and talking about recovery, like making videos about it. I'm like, wait a minute, I got a story to tell. Let me let me post my mugshot, and then it went viral and it just went from there, you know. And the messages you get like that are like my mom's struggling or my sister or asking for advice, or they're just proud to say how far they've come, you know, and they just want to tell someone, so it's cool.

SPEAKER_00 42:22

Oh no, Valen left us.

SPEAKER_03 42:24

Um lost Valen.

SPEAKER_00 42:26

She's left. Oh no, she's back. Um, but uh it's it's so it's so great that you brought that up. The sober girls group that, right? Which Amanda, you're a big part of, and you guys have all been a part of it, and you're friends with all these girls and stuff, and and I love it and love seeing what they have going on because there's so much happiness and so much joy, and you know, and I've requested to be a part of it like six times. I keep denied, I don't know why, but um, but honestly, no to the for no seriousness, you know, watching you guys, you know, just live life and and be joyful and be grateful for your recovery. It's like it's like it's like we're we're girls and we're pals and doing what we do, but recovery first, and that's amazing to me. I mean, it really, really is. And uh so this whole and now you guys and the video you did with your mom. Let's talk about it for a second. Let's talk about it for a second because it was awesome, and it got like 100 billion views, and it's uh which is even better. Uh, Valen, what did your mom think about doing this with you guys?

SPEAKER_02 43:44

I mean, we didn't really think this out too much. Amanda was like, I found this sound, we're just gonna, you know, make this TikTok real quick. That was the third go at it, and I'm like one or two times and I'm done, you know. So this is the third time we Just did it and we moved on with our life. And I didn't think I mean it's always the weirdest videos, you know. But my mom is like just so happy that we're all well, you know.

SPEAKER_03 44:13

Yeah, like she just was like, Oh, okay, like this thing. I'm like, we're like, mom, you're just basically we're like, mom, we're just gonna sit here and we're gonna do this like sound, and the song is so catchy and it's real life. Like, we used to the sound is like, mom, can you lend me five four bucks? Like, you know, and can you give me lend me 20 bucks? And like we would always ask her for money when we were getting high, so just put like us in active addiction, and like a lot of people could like relate to that, like, oh my gosh, like, yeah, you know, and the song is annoying but catchy. So, like, when it did hit it hit like over seven million views just on Instagram, and it was just like, Oh my god, kind of like you know, it's like Dallas say it was so silly, so dumb, so like little, but of course, people like argue in there, you know. And then there's a lot of comments that want to know, like what all three of you? Like, all three of you like are addicts, like that's crazy. Like, your poor mom, you know what I mean? And and now that and they want to know the story, they want to know how, what, why. So, like, this is actually perfect timing that we're like you know, here doing this because there's so many people like I'm so confused, what and then a lot of comments, were you guys on Dr. Phil? Like, you know, just a lot of things like that, too. So it was silly and crazy.

SPEAKER_00 45:43

So, Tiffany, being kind of a private person now, uh, and you know, having a family of people recovering out loud, and they get kind of thrown into the mix. What does it feel like, you know, uh being involved in in this one? You know, it's like you don't, I don't think you get a choice, right?

SPEAKER_05 46:04

Uh I got uh of course I get a choice. I mean, it just kind of bullied me a little bit, you know. But it's uh it's it's fine. I mean, at first it was kind of weird because I'm like, ooh, but now that I've been doing it every now and again, I'm like, okay, like it's funny. Like we make we made that video and we were literally like all together on a family vacation in Florida, and we were just like would like make random videos, you know, and it was it was just more fun, and like we would laugh and it would just like shooting the shit, and then yeah, when it got a bunch of views, I was like, holy crap. But also, too, like it just makes it it makes me want to strive to do it as well, because I mean, like I'm very proud of them and I I love to see them grow and you know preach online and help others, so it's like yeah, I mean exactly what Sarah Barbie said, like I got a story on me, and and it's pretty wild. So it's like if if if I say something I could help another person in some way, shape, or form, like that's that's cool, you know. And I I've always known that, but now it's like registering in my brain, especially like with the internet and social media being like in every aspect of every way of life. So it's like, yeah, I mean, I should open up and I should tell my story because you know, someone definitely is gonna be able to relate, especially now, like, hey, I stopped smoking weed a couple months ago, wasn't ruining my life, I didn't lie, steal, cheat. I wasn't a piece of shit, but it was like I needed to stop because I wanted the mental clarity and to and to live life and not have a vice to like a crutch to change the way I feel in some way or form. So it was like it is different and it is an adjustment, but I am gonna make the attempt to be better about it because well, look at you're on this.

SPEAKER_03 47:59

You came on doing this with us, that's huge, you know.

SPEAKER_05 48:05

Yeah, this is uh I was very nervous about this, you know, very because I respect you guys, and I also I just didn't want to be like clam up, but I'm also like, okay, cool, just be myself.

SPEAKER_00 48:21

Absolutely, and you're doing great. And we're I'm so grateful that you're on here and you're on here with your sisters, and you know, when you were talking about, you know, the okay, so we're on a trip and and we're in Florida and we're having fun and we're doing our thing. This is these are the gifts of recovery, right? These are the gifts that we get, and so that uh that segues into my next group question: what is the biggest gift that you've received in your recovery? And it can't be a relationship with my sister because you guys would all say that. So uh Valen, we'll start with the oldest to youngest.

SPEAKER_02 48:58

Um peace because everything that I've ever done my whole life, and this is also in sobriety. Nothing was peaceful. I'm a spaz. Anything that happens, very traumatic. It's like, you know, we go to a hundred real quick. Um, but you know, peace, I problem solve, I have boundaries, my relationships are healthy, you know. I'm healthy, I have healthy coping mechanisms, and that's what I mean by peace. Um, like I genuinely have peace of mind now, and bad stuff still happens all the time. Life always be life in, but I'm able to handle them with peace now.

SPEAKER_00 49:46

That's amazing. And you're the the the peace that we get in because we we all lived a life of chaos and craziness, and and and and it we can it can follow us, you know. And it's I think peace is a is making a choice and and setting those boundaries. I love that answer. Wait, great answer. Uh Amanda, what's yours uh what's your biggest gift of recovery?

SPEAKER_03 50:11

Um probably, I mean, and I've always said like freedom. Did you guys hear that hear that or now? I mean probably it's not crazy.

SPEAKER_00 50:22

I don't know what that's probably I think Tiffany ran over a cat or something like that.

SPEAKER_04 50:26

I don't know what that is like it's like a tip.

SPEAKER_02 50:33

Okay, um like a gremlin.

SPEAKER_03 50:45

Okay, okay. Um the biggest gift of you know my recovery, I would say, is like the freedom to just do like whatever, like for us to go on that vacation into Florida, like you know, everything my life revolved around like you know, like life interfered with my like getting loaded, you know what I mean? And that's all like I thought about, and it was a full-time job. I would never be able to do anything, like couldn't attend family events, do anything, you know. So just being able to just, you know, do whatever I want, like you know, and then being able to like just get in bed, like the only set like the peace, like when my head hits the pillow at night and just having some peace and serenity in my life, and um, yeah, that's like the biggest gift.

SPEAKER_00 51:29

Oh, that's uh that's beautiful. That's absolutely beautiful, being present, being being present for life, being present for the family, being present for for all of it, you know. That's it's uh it's amazing. Um, so Tiffany, I don't know. She was gonna say that her greatest thing was her cat, but she wants so much for that. Uh Tim, are you there? Tiffany's gotta come up with a new answer. Tiffany, what was what's your uh what's the biggest thing since we got?

SPEAKER_05 52:00

You guys, you guys sound like Alvin and the chip monks right now.

SPEAKER_04 52:07

Yeah, we heard like for a second, like something.

SPEAKER_00 52:12

Well, oh boy, yeah. So it's a gift of recovery. She gone. She gone.

SPEAKER_02 52:18

She gone.

SPEAKER_00 52:18

She gone. She ran over Chris. Krista, what's your biggest gift of recovery?

SPEAKER_01 52:28

Um I think being taken seriously, finally, for once. I was a joke for a long time. Um, today I get to go pick up the keys to my own sober living house. Like, what? You're giving me keys. What? I'm still like pinching myself. Um, but just to to be asked to to like speak and um I don't know just being accountable, you know.

SPEAKER_02 53:02

That's so badass. That is so badass.

SPEAKER_01 53:04

Yeah, that is.

SPEAKER_03 53:05

That's congrats, Krista. That's awesome.

SPEAKER_01 53:08

Thank you. I'm big girls. Um yeah, like what I wasn't even allowed in the bar.

SPEAKER_03 53:18

Yeah, and that's also crazy that we're all like, you know, like we have kids, we're in charge of like little people, like I know that and they're celebrating birthdays, and they're still, you know, like it's wild.

SPEAKER_00 53:29

Yeah, it's I'm telling you, it's so amazing, and you know, having you guys on here with us today is amazing, and you know, so we've got a new podcast. Oh, look at Tiffany's entering. Okay, um, now there's gonna be two Tiffany's, I think. Anyway, uh the little sister, okay.

SPEAKER_01 53:48

The little one.

SPEAKER_00 53:50

So we have a new this is never alone. Never alone live is you know, we do this every week, but we have we're starting a new podcast, and you guys are gonna come on our podcast and we're gonna watch some of the Dr. Phil episode and see your reactions after Amanda. You've only watched it twice.

SPEAKER_03 54:11

Yeah, and I'm pretty sure my sisters like did too. They've only I'm pretty sure they've only watched it like twice, too. Like once when it aired, and then like one other like time. We've seen clips of it, but like, yeah, we've never fully we've never watched it together. Actually, funny story when we were all just in Florida, it was actually airing on the TV, but live, yeah. But we didn't like watch it, it was like yeah, live that's like a sign, isn't that crazy? That's why so random. We got text of pictures of like you guys are on the TV, like right now. Like, and we but yeah, Donny, you gotta watch it.

SPEAKER_00 54:46

I'm I'm gonna watch it with them. We're gonna do a podcast. I'm gonna watch it with them. I'm gonna they're gonna give their reactions. I'm gonna give my reaction. I'm sure the whole time I'm gonna sit like I learned a lot. I said a lot, and I mean, and but that's 12 years ago, you guys. That's uh, you know, that's the the Tiffany, Valen, and Amanda from 12 years ago. You know, we uh we're very fortunate. We get to know you guys now, and we're gonna experience what it was like 12 years ago. Um, all right. So before we cut off, before we cut off, you have we have this platform. What do you want to say to people? You know, we're all we all recover out loud. We know that our sobriety is extremely important to us. But what if you could if you could talk to anybody, what are you gonna say? Amanda, we'll start with you.

SPEAKER_03 55:41

Um, I mean, reach out, you know, talk to anybody. Um, so you know that like you're not alone in this. Like there's just so many people that struggle like in silence. Just like reach out, talk to anybody. Anything is possible. Um, you know, I just like want people to like believe in like themselves. Like, I hate, you know, because I was stuck in a cycle of like I'm a piece of shit and this is just who I am forever, you know, and just know that they that's not who you have to be, you know. You can change. I'm a strong believer of like when people say like people never change, people change, right, Tim?

SPEAKER_05 56:22

Yeah, I got it, I got it to work.

SPEAKER_04 56:24

You guys sounded like Alvin and the chipmuggs, and I couldn't get it to work. You sounded like you were like running over a cat. Like that's why I was like laughing.

SPEAKER_05 56:36

Yeah, I don't I just tried everything. I didn't know what the hell just happened.

SPEAKER_00 56:40

We're back. So good. Amanda, thank you, Tiffany. Before you before you run off, we're gonna what is something that you want people to know? You get you got a platform, you got a message to put out there. What do you want to say to people?

SPEAKER_05 56:58

Uh never give up. Don't give up. Just keep keep doing what you gotta do for yourself, focus on you, better in your way of life. Uh, just you can only control your actions, your behaviors, your reactions, the way you think. And uh once you just start fixing your mental, uh just you know, it takes the same amount of effort to be negative as it does just to be positive. And uh if you just you are what you are what you attract, so it's like if you are polypussy pants all the time, then yeah, things are gonna happen to you that will constantly piss you off. So it's just never give up and stay positive.

SPEAKER_02 57:43

That's another half activity.

SPEAKER_01 57:46

He's right, he's taking notes.

SPEAKER_00 57:50

We had to write that down. Yeah, um, you got a platform. You can say anything to the world. What is it?

SPEAKER_02 58:02

She's gone again.

SPEAKER_00 58:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 58:11

I think you know, uh goes along with never give up and you know, just keep trying. Um, you know, over the years. I've had friends get sober and be in recovery, like, you know, whatever the terms are, all different ways, you know, and you know, nothing is the same for anybody. And we're three examples of that. We've all recovered differently. Um, you know, we do similar things, you know, whatever, but just keep going, never give up, and you know, find what works for you until whatever it is sticks. Because there is always, and I, you know, I had a friend who um has a year sober now. He's on Matt. And um, I told him a year ago, I was like, I promise you, like things will get better. And they did. And he texted me uh like a few weeks ago and he said you weren't lying, things did get better. He's like, I didn't believe you, you know, and all I did was want to get high. And all I could say to him was, I'm so happy you didn't give up. You know, don't give up. And I told you so.

SPEAKER_01 59:16

And I told you so, and I did say that. Yes, I did say that. I joke and say that's why I'm in recovery, so I could tell you I told you so. You know, because we're not wrong about this.

SPEAKER_02 59:26

No, Amanda, you weren't wrong.

SPEAKER_00 59:29

See, and Amanda says, I told you so. So then you didn't get to say it, Amanda.

SPEAKER_03 59:36

You didn't say it.

SPEAKER_04 59:36

I told you so.

SPEAKER_00 59:38

I set you up. This has been so fantastic. I want to thank you guys for coming out here and sharing with us. Um, I know that everybody's gonna get something out of this. Um, and uh love what you guys are doing, so keep doing what you're doing. And uh, and I can't wait, we're gonna do a podcast. And not only are we gonna go through the Dr. Phil, but we're gonna do one-on-ones, and you guys can talk trash about the other two. And we're gonna start a whole family feud, and uh this is gonna be like reality show, like a reality show. Yes, might be on to something.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:12

This is something I'll be so good at this.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:14

But uh, thank you, you guys, and uh thank you everyone for for listening in today. Um, you know, God loves you, and so do we, and with that, we'll see you next week.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:27

Thank you for having us.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:28

Thank you for having us.