Joshua Sergent (Holy Beardz) on Atheism, Suicide & Finding Faith

What happens when an atheist who survived three suicide attempts meets a Christian woman who refuses to compromise her faith?

In this episode of Never Alone Live, Joshua Sergent (HolyBeardz) shares his powerful story of addiction, hopelessness, recovery, faith, and how one encounter with God changed the course of his life forever.

Joshua opens up about his struggles with alcohol, drugs, anger, shame, suicide attempts, and the journey that led him from living recklessly to spending the last 24 years helping others find hope. 

Whether you're struggling with addiction, mental health, faith, or simply searching for hope, this conversation is for you.

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:08

Welcome, welcome, welcome everyone to Never Alone Live. I'm Johnny, and uh as always joined by Krista, the sober Barbie, and you know, in keeping with our theme for this month, which is all about uh faith and recovery, um, we are very honored to have uh Nick Sargent here, also known as Holy Beards. What's up, my brother? How are you doing?

SPEAKER_00 0:37

What's up, man? It's been good.

SPEAKER_02 0:40

So uh dude, this is uh we're really excited to have you here today. Um, you know, tell your story and hear about, you know, a lot of the stuff you're doing. So let's uh let's just jump into it. You know, uh what's uh tell us about yourself. Tell us about yourself.

SPEAKER_00 1:07

Bandit, my dog over there did not let me speak. Uh I've been 24 years clean and sober. I am 42 years old. Uh God saved me at the age of 18 years old. So he got me young uh from destroying myself at my third attempt at the age of 18. Uh I didn't believe in God, I didn't believe in any of this stuff, I didn't sign up for any of this stuff, I didn't want any of this stuff. I the last thing I wanted to be is sober, and the last thing I wanted to be is a Christian, to be honest with you. So none of this was my desire, none of this is what I wanted. I I didn't I wanted to live my reckless life, but when the Holy Spirit comes inside of you and uh Acts 1.8 says, When the Holy Ghost comes upon you, you shall receive power to be a witness unto me. And I am a witness of what the Holy Spirit can do in your life, the transformation and everything from following him for 24 24 years, man. That's that's crazy. But you know, it's that's God. You know, I found myself not even looking in the mirror. I had a lot of shame. We can be clean and sober, but have a lot of shame, a lot of guilt, a lot of anger. So there's always room for recovery and just outside of the clean and sober life. Because a lot of people they deal with shame their whole life for what they've done and they've in guilt of what they've done from their past life. They have a hard time forgiving their past life, and whenever we all know God has forgiven that, but still we know what we've done. But knowing that, you know, the Lord has forgiven me of all my uh sin and all that in my past life is a heavy weight that has been off of me. The where you know we I don't want to dwell on it. It may come in thought. 2 Corinthians 10 4 says to um cast down those those thoughts, you know, those those um imaginations. They come and go, but we know how to deal with it with the Holy Spirit. I didn't have much of a reckless life from no.

SPEAKER_01 3:46

He said he didn't have good internet because of all the storms, and he is in the country.

SPEAKER_02 3:51

Oh no. So he's gonna come back.

unknown 3:54

He'll come back.

SPEAKER_02 3:54

He'll be back. Uh this is actually one of uh Holy Beard's hats. When I I met uh Nick in Owensboro uh for Faith Fluence, uh, which is Jordan Wilson's event that he was just on last week. And uh I saw this hat, and I'm telling you, I fell in love right away. Just Grace, you know?

SPEAKER_01 4:17

Didn't get me one.

SPEAKER_02 4:18

No, yeah, because well, you were the first one to get sober hats, so I am the first one to get Grace hats. That's the way this works.

SPEAKER_01 4:26

And he has another one I like called it says disciple on it, or I think that's what it says. I want that one.

SPEAKER_02 4:34

Absolutely, and his I mean his message is just so strong, and you know, getting sober at 18 years old and getting his calling. I can't I hope that his internet connection comes back and he gets to join us because uh it's so amazing, so amazing. What do you think about this guy?

SPEAKER_01 4:54

Um, I met him a year a year and a half ago at my recoveries convention, and I never I didn't know who he was, and then I found him, and um his videos are so powerful. He praises people on these videos, and I read I go through the comments, and it's just what an impact he had. Like even if it's just one person, but um they're so powerful, and I've heard him his his testimony and him preach, and I got so much out of it, and just uh uses a lot of analogies and like makes you be able to understand what God's message is, and um I'm thinking I'm taking totally good.

SPEAKER_02 5:36

Me too.

SPEAKER_01 5:37

I hope he goes back. He's a tough one to get in in touch with too. So this is we're blessed.

SPEAKER_02 5:44

So that I mean, if we're uh this so we're talking about um, you know, spirituality and faith in recovery, you know, and this is something we talk about frequently, you know. What is the biggest uh gift that you've given that you've been given since you know embracing and and and growing spirituality and recovery? What's uh what's the biggest gift? Oh, here you can almost back.

SPEAKER_00 6:16

I'm gonna have to use looks like I'm gonna have to use my phone.

SPEAKER_01 6:20

I was gonna I was gonna guess that. It might be the same.

SPEAKER_00 6:23

It's it's all good. I've I've never tried string, I've never tried any of this. So of course you're gonna have some some issues, but it should be good now.

SPEAKER_02 6:30

I'm off my laptop, so absolutely you're all good on our end. Uh and we were just we were just we were just talking, uh, and I was asking Krista the question, what is the biggest gift that you've been given, you know, in in you know, having a spiritual, having a relationship with God, having a relationship with Jesus. What is the the biggest gift? Uh Krista, what is what is your biggest gift?

SPEAKER_01 6:57

Um, I think being removed of all the things I thought like I like was my identity, like being an alcoholic or being anxious, or um also the removal of like worry and um being able to get into his word and and have guidance for once, like real true guidance that I can like just live by and I I feel not alone anymore.

SPEAKER_02 7:31

So big, so big. Thank you, Krista. That's amazing. Okay, uh Nick, we'll jump back over to you. Uh you were right in the uh in you're telling us uh a little bit of your testimony. Can I I'm gonna ask a question? How was uh so you quit drinking and got found recovery when you were 18? What was it like growing up? Where did you grow up? Uh Harlan, Kentucky. And what was what was uh what was early early life like?

SPEAKER_00 8:02

It was it was okay. I had a I had a I I would say I had a pretty good child, child life. We wouldn't we didn't have everything, but we had what we wanted, so or what we needed. Uh mom, we know there's eight of us. There's I got five other brothers. I'm I'm the middle brother, got two sisters. Um mom stayed home, took care of all of us kids, went through school and all that. I graduated high school. Uh, you know, she did great uh for what she what she had to deal with with uh money. Dad was a coal miner, so had one income coming in, had to feed uh 10 mouths total, counting mom and dad. So I I've I've seen a lot of struggles, man. I have, but it's made me who I am today for sure.

SPEAKER_02 8:46

I mean, getting so again recover finding recovery at 18 is young. That is a very that's young to find recovery then. What was going on that uh that you know, where were you at when you were 18?

SPEAKER_00 9:00

My it was actually my wife. Um I I didn't I don't know why at the time I wanted to date a a Christian woman. I was living the life and somehow I felt drawn to to my wife. Her mom, her mom and dad are pastors, the uh her brothers are evangelists. So when I had to go see her, it was usually at a church or a revival. And then, man, I just found myself like just overwhelmed with the presence of the Lord. Now, I I've never did any recovery program or nothing like that. Uh you know, mine was out of this world, just like bam, at an altar experience. And uh, but my recovery from the recovery programs through celebrate recovery revealed some different layers, and that's what I was talking about earlier. My shame didn't go away. I may have not drunk or did drugs, but I had some shame I had to deal with. I had to deal with some anger, I had to deal with some other things in my life uh outside of just you know the drugs and alcohol that God instantly took away. And then, you know, I had pornography I dealt with for three years, um, you know, talking to God and stuff like that, talking to my wife. Uh there was no recovery programs that I could think of back in 20-some years ago. I I I I can't, I don't know. I don't know how long Celebrate Recovery's been out. I don't know how long a lot of these programs have been out. I don't know if they were popular at the time, but I do not remember ever seeing a recovery program uh going back 24 years now. They may have been, but they may have not been, you know, popular where they are at right now. So I've gotten to this point, me and God, like it was it was a struggle. I wish I had somebody to talk to. I wish I had a a circle of people that I can come and talk to, uh, you know, and and kind of confess my faults one to another as scripture says that way he may be healed. I didn't have all that. It was just it was me, God, and and my wife. Um, I'm very thankful for the programs out today that, as Barbie Dare said, I felt alone the whole time, you know, through this. I felt like I had to go through this by myself. Uh, and even though I did go through it by myself and conquered it by myself being God, I would have loved to have a group of people. And and I know I I get some hate from recovery groups when when I say that, but I didn't have it at the time. I I did, I didn't, I didn't know they were uh sources uh 24 years ago. I didn't know they were programs 24 years ago, so like they are today. I don't know. Was they how long has celebrate recovery been out?

SPEAKER_01 11:44

Do y'all know or is around 20-ish years, I think. I don't know. I'm not yeah, but I can relate so much with that. Like I was almost naive too. I didn't know anyone sober, I didn't know any of that.

SPEAKER_00 11:57

I didn't either.

SPEAKER_02 11:59

I didn't make that's why that's why that's why I'm I'm so in you know, I'm invested in this conversation because there's a thousand different pathways to get to the same destination. And when we talk about recovery, like I I got sober in AA, which has been around for today is actually the the birth of AA, June 10th is 91 years. And and and and a lot of people just don't know about it, you know. It 24 years ago, uh there weren't as many meetings, and there definitely wasn't an online sources, you know. But but uh but but you found something else, and that's what I that's what we want to hear about your journey specifically. And you know, so you went to church and went to church for a girl and and it got and it stopped.

SPEAKER_00 12:49

I mean, that's there's not much there. I mean, I mean, I I had four years of rebellion from 14 to 18. Uh, I had two years of drugs from 16 to 18, you know, and two years of drinking. Like, like I said, God got me early. Uh, you know, I'm not gonna drag this out to where I'm this big drug dealer or whatever. Uh man, back 24 years ago, they was it was small potatoes, you know. It was we had flip phones. There was no connect. I I thought I think maybe we had a flip phone. I I don't know. I I I think when I was 20, we had the Nokia 6010 of what they called the brick. I think, right? So like you had old phones in the house, like, so there was not a lot of stuff that you could do like you can today on phones, and that's why I believe there's a lot more struggles because you got to be careful how you use social media and technology and all that. It it it can get muddy, it can get worse. How many divorces have happened because of social media? You see what I'm saying? So, and I don't want to go deep into that, but a lot of people love to hear my story, but a lot of my story is two years of drinking, two years of drugs, and 24 years of serving the Lord. So, like it's more preaching and serving the Lord and evangelism than it is drugs and alcohol, you know, because I only had two years of that. You know, uh the Lord radically, when I say radically, he radically changed my life for me to still be clean and sober today without any programs, without any help, without any support system, without anything. Like I, it was me and him. But I struggled a lot because of it. But the struggle is who has it's it's how the struggle has made me who I am today. Because I lean more, and again, not against programs, but I lean more towards him than program because I didn't have a program. See what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_02 14:50

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 14:51

Sometimes we can we can lean more on a program than him, you know what I'm saying? So it's it's it's tough, man. Um, but I'm 42 years old. My daughter's 19, she's never seen me drink, she's never seen me do drugs, uh, or or nothing like that. It's it's an amazing story, man. My testimony is something within itself, how an atheist, how somebody, a three-time suicide survivor, uh, wanted to take his life at 18 years old and meets this Christian girl cruising town and don't want nothing to do with Christian girl or or a church, but starts going to church because of her. And that's why my testimony is my wife. You know, that's what I tell people because my wife, you know, I put a beer on her lap and I wanted to get with her that night, did not happen. Wanted to get with her that week, did not happen. That month did not happen. Like she stayed true to God. She she she was more true to her God. In other words, she didn't give in to the temptation. I laid the beer on her lap. She didn't even open it, she didn't even do anything. So I could not get her to do the things that I wanted to do. And because of that, I'm like, what am I doing? Why what am I doing with this girl? She don't she don't drink, she doesn't go out and party, she don't sleep around. Like, what's the deal with it? But I I I've I it's like the Holy Spirit was setting me up. So like he was continually drawing me towards her and and towards her. And then, man, I got saved out of church with her. And uh uh now we're uh we just celebrated 22 years of marriage, uh, May the uh 19th. No, May, oh man. May oh man, what my birthday's May 11th.

SPEAKER_01 16:25

You can't forget that date.

SPEAKER_00 16:27

Hold on. I I know, but look, my birthday's May 11th. My daughter's is May the 17th. I got so much going in May. May was it May the 19th, babe? Our anniversary. 29th, I'm sorry. May the 29th.

SPEAKER_01 16:47

Congratulations.

SPEAKER_00 16:49

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just honest, man. I'm transparent. I don't care. You don't have to edit that out. I I am who I am. I just got a lot going on. I barely even remember to do this with you dudes. Um, I've been in Alabama preaching Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday. I came in Monday night. Every night I've came in around one, almost one in the morning, four or five hours of sleep, getting up doing a lower again. So like I don't my calendar is a mess. But uh all of this, man, from from an encounter, and that's what I wanted to get at. There there is a true encounter with Christ that can change your life. Some struggle, we can be honest. We some struggle. That don't mean they're not saved. They're just struggling with Alpha, they're struggling, and that's what the Holy Spirit deals with people, and and the Holy Ghost is trying to get that out of their life, and that's okay. Some struggle, some gets it right away. I I can't explain it. I I can't. It's just how God does things sometimes. So mine was boom, but like I said, I went years uh with shame and guilt, condemnation, anger, uh, and uh went to celebrate uh recovery. God revealed some things when I did the book that I had some anger issues I needed to work out. And I think he does in layers. I love like the thing that God showed me about an onion. An onion you do in layers till you get to the center. And I think we're the center, and and like the Lord will just strip layers and layers and layers and layers and layers to get to that center. And that's how I believe that he does things because he had to reveal to me, hey, yeah, you're clean and sober, but you got anger issues, man. Like you're flying off the handle. You need to take care of this. You got jealous issues, you know. So there's all kinds of other recoveries that I needed to get, you know, and and and I'm great that I'm not drinking. Um it's awesome that I'm not done drugs, but still, you know, I got this anger issue I need to take care of, right? I I got this shame I need to take care of. I got this guilt of my drinking and of the things I've done. I've heard a lot, I love to fight. So if we want to get technical, my my my my years of fighting and going to jail, that's what I love to do. I actually would love to hit somebody in the face. Like I love that. So that was that was anger though, right? So anger to fight, you know. So like God had to strip those things. I've not been in a fight in 24 years. I used to fight every day. So that's what I'm talking about. So recovery has brought some, and I do 80% of my ministry is recovery, like celebrate recovery, recovery alive, like all these places I go and preach, they're recovery programs. The ones that was in uh they may have different names, like you, like you dudes. You know, you got a different name, but that's fine. It's still recovery and it is Bible-based. So, like uh, I do a lot of those, man. And uh I share my story, but pretty much I shared a word, I shared a message of hope that people can be delivered, you can be set free. I'm a witness of that.

SPEAKER_02 19:54

Nick, I'm telling you, you got such a powerful story, and you're just such a good speaker, and and you know, oh I don't know about that. No, you really do. I mean, and I mean I can relate, I can relate with you so much because I I've been I've been sober 22 years, and I got this ugly paw because all I used to do was get into fights back in the day. And I say it frequently, yes, I've been sober for 22 years, but I haven't been in a fight in 22 years, I haven't been arrested in 22 years. That's this is that gratitude, brother. This is that gratitude, you know, and grateful for God and grateful for all the, you know, this hat that uh so I got this hat uh when I met you, right? And I love it so much because when we were talking before about the things that we're so grateful for with uh our relationship with God is is the grace, is the forgiveness. God forgives us for everything, He forgave us for our past, He's forgiven us for our present, and He's even already forgiven us for our future, He's expecting us to do dumb stuff. So it's uh it's amazing when I saw this hat and I was like, Yes, this is what I'm talking about. When I think about God, when I think about Jesus, when I think about my relationship, is is this is forgiveness, and it's amazing, brother.

SPEAKER_00 21:12

Well, forgiveness can hold you back, and and people are living their best life while you're living your most miserable life. Uh, when you forgive people, you you let them out of it's it's they have until you cut the rope, until you forgive people, they're controlling you. They control your day, they control your attitude, and I don't want that. I don't want that in my life, so that's why you just got to learn, even if it hurt you, just forgive and go on with your life. God's got greater. You you you'd be amazed at the stories I get from people that want to take their life because of a divorce. And I'm like, man, this is just a season. This this too will pass. And then I talk to them a year later, now they're remarried and they're happy. And I'm like, see, they're like, because you you can't have. Things that happen, regardless if you're with God or not, things happen in life, man. Some people get dealt a bad hand. Life is tough out there. You know, God is not a controlling God. He's not going to tie up a woman and say, you got to stay with him. It's decisions. And sometimes we make some stupid decisions, and there's consequences from those decisions, right? So like God ain't gonna hold you down and make you do anything. Uh He's a gentleman. It's the decisions that we make. And some people make some bad decisions in life, like I have. And then I pray that I'll make better decisions. I'll think about it more. You know, do I really need to do this? Do I need to be with, you know, there's something called discernment. So like that's another gift of the Holy Spirit. Discernment. Do I need to join these people? Do I need to do this ministry or this? So you you start discerning things and God starts showing you through revelation. Man, all this stuff is deep, bro. Like this stuff is mind-boggling. You get into the word of God and you're like, whoa, like it just wrecks your life. Like, I think we're just barely scratching the surface, man, of what God's got and wants for us. Here is that, like, I've been in a lot of papers for being arrested, and that was in Owensboro for influence. Like, I'm an influencer, man. Like, God has allowed my past hurt, pain, failures, hangups to now influence other people to make the right choices. I'm an influencer. There's a uh I went and did a TV show. I I think I told you dudes about that. And now I have my own show. Like, I would have never thought that would ever happen, but God has made a way for that.

SPEAKER_02 23:50

It's so amazing. All the things that you're doing, all the things that you're doing. Let's uh let's I want to talk about that because you are an influencer, you've got a lot of followers, and and it's because you are consistently doing stuff, you are out there. I mean, you know, you're on uh uh on a in a truck and you've got a a you know on a truck bed and you're baptizing people in the back of a truck, you know, all the things you're doing, like what what else is going on?

SPEAKER_00 24:22

I don't dude, I don't even have room to do that. Um like I am I'm booked all I'm I'm taking appointments for next year, and I'm still looking for opportunities to go out of the four walls, and I still work, I hold a four to five hour job, the shirt here, the hype. Like I still work an everyday job and still do all this, and it's I don't know, man, it's insane. But look, I'm I don't want nobody to get mad, but I am made to run. I know there's people out there that's like, you need to slow down, bro. Like you're doing, I don't know. That's when the enemy creeps in, man. Because like I'm not saying I'm work-based. I'm not saying I love, I do love to preach, but I love my family and I make room for that. But I am made to run. I'm I'm one of them people, man. I'll get in my truck right now and drive to Pennsylvania to preach. I am made to run like Elijah outrun the horses. Like that's in me. That's the Holy Spirit, that's the fire. I don't ask for money, I don't ask for any of that. I I go love offering, like I'll hop in my truck, fill up my tank, 80 bucks, and go straight wherever it needs to be and preach the gospel and come straight home. Like, and one day, like I I'm made to run. God has somehow, my wife's like, I can't catch up with you. I'm like, well, that's fine. I'm just praying that God will allow you to run with me more. My prayer was to slow me down where my wife can catch up, but now my prayer is for her to speed up a little bit, you know, to try to, you know, and that's that's not competition because I I I I feel like when I slow down uh my calling and everything, the enemy really gets in my head, and and and it's called idle time. Listen, some people are great sitting on the beach with sweet tea looking at the waves. Not me. I'm the dude over there praying for somebody at the beach. See what I'm saying? Like I I don't know, I'm not I'm not an idle guy, I don't like idle time. I don't. I like I gotta be doing something. It's probably because I'm I'm ADHD as well, you know, mixed with Holy Spirit.

SPEAKER_01 26:38

But you're embracing it, you're embracing it.

SPEAKER_00 26:40

Oh, yeah, I love it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's it's high input. It's high off time.

SPEAKER_01 26:49

And and you you influence others because the Holy Spirit influences you, you know.

SPEAKER_00 26:55

Well, he's the ultimate influencer. You read Jesus, Jesus had one of the biggest ministries in the planet. Can we agree with that? Like, but again, he took time to go to uh Zacchaeus' house. Like, you know, and it's so it's breaking apart like the the I I always tell people true ministry is when you can sit alone with somebody at Waffle House at one or two in the morning and just love on somebody that's broken, and and there's no camera there. There's no there's no social media presence there. It's just that one-on-one, like like the woman at the uh at the well, like why did Jesus tell the disciples to go get food? Because I believe they would have judged her for who she was and they would not have shut up and Jesus wouldn't have been able to minister to her. So there's times, man, I tell people that one-on-one, man, it is great to have because when you when you can just kind of let your hair down or just kind of just relax and say, Look, man, I'm dealing with pornography because what's the chances of a crowd of a hundred people of me looking out and saying, Who's dealing with porn? Raise your hand. Like they're not, you know what I'm saying? But they'll come to you one-on-one and be like, hey man, um, you know, that's that's there's power there, man, that one-on-one, you know, and Jesus, the woman with the issue of blood, the same one. One woman touched them over, I don't know, 50 or 100 that was thinking that they was touching them, but she touched them by faith. So I'm I'm really honored, man, just for the the influence. Like we've been able to prevent 250 suicide. It went up from two, probably 245 from the show, from the uh faith fluents, to now I have real I've gotten 250 messages from people where they was going to take their life and they didn't because God chose to put a video of mine in front of them. And I have no power over that, but God does, and social media does, but God knows how he plays pieces right, he'll put this here, he'll put that there. You know, he knows, man. So he knows the hearts of people, and he'll put the right video at the right time with the Holy Spirit can change someone's life, man. And that's why I do what I do. I just don't do it for views and money for life. I've been doing it for 14 years. People look at the 7 million followers now, but I remember when I was getting two or three views per video, and that's because I watched the video two or three times. Like I literally, I literally can remember those days. You know, I I stayed true and obedient, and God said, I will build this for you. You continue to do what you're doing, and I the key to everything is not quitting. I would not be here today if I quit a year ago. We would not be having this, no matter how gifted I am, no matter how talented I am, no matter how anointed I am, if you quit, that is the only time that God's hands are folded. Because you quit, you quit on them. There's nothing else. It's sad, but like he's not gonna make you do anything. So if you quit, if you quit this recovery today and you get mad and and you say, you know, that's it. This recovery alone, is that what it's called? Never alone, you say that's it. You shut it down. Well, you just shut it down. You refuse you, but you're not refusing to quit because you know there's people that's gonna come on here and you know you're gonna help people. That's why you have this. It's it has to go beyond you. It has to be for them. That's that's why there's a hook in my videos at the beginning. How can I pray for you? How can I help you? You know, because people want they want it about them, let's be honest. That's what they want, right? What can you do for me, right? They don't care what your name is, they don't care if you're Baptist, Pentecostal, Methodist, recovery alone, uh, never struggle alone, uh, whatever recovery name you they they're looking for hope, they're looking for somebody. They're looking, they can care less, beard, tattoos, like they they can care less, right? Like they they're looking for that hope.

SPEAKER_02 31:17

That's it, that's the key. That's the key is the hope. And that's what you know. We we in with having our past, you know, our past becomes our greatest asset because we can people can relate. And once they relate to us, they can see and and they say, if okay, if if holy bears didn't need to take his own life, maybe I don't need to take my own life. And then then, and if if Krista can stay sober today, maybe I can stay sober today. But that the key is there's people that out there that talk the talk, and you know, and I believe that people follow you because you're actually walking the walk. You are out there, and maybe if it is your adhd, but that's your blessing, you know. I know people I know people who have uh, you know, they talk they talk about that ADHD is their superpower, yeah. It keeps them going and it keeps them going, and they and they they they hyperfixate on two or three things, and boom, and they focus on it, and they give all their energy and all their but their but to to you're walking the walk, and people see that, you know, you're not just you're not just out there talking, you are doing, and I'm telling you, when I see a video of you on the back of a truck and you've got somebody there that you have driven to to help them because they weren't able to get there, that is amazing. That's that's why I you know I was so excited for this because you are walking the walk, my brother.

SPEAKER_00 32:46

Well, you got you gotta listen. We we we believe that God's gonna scream and yell at us to get our attention. And how would my marriage look with my wife if the only way she could get my attention is she screamed and yelled at me? So that we believe that God is just gonna scream and yell, but it's a still small voice, like Elijah. And we we have to learn to turn down the loudness, we have to learn to turn off social media, we have to learn to turn off certain things and listen. And that's why I'm able to do the things you we got to be sensitive to the spirit because we can be busy, we can be busy and not accomplish anything. Look at Martha. Martha was busy, but Mary was worshiping the Lord, right? So just because you're busy, like I I want to be effective. If I'm gonna be busy, I want to see outcome, I want to see fruit. You know what I'm saying? And we all can start a ministry, we all can start a recovery program, but I want fruit. I want to see something come out of this, and that's when you have to get into the prayer closet, man. Roots, roots is grown in the prayer closet, intimacy with God. The anointing is intimacy with God. Like all this. The holy, like when I pray, I say, Lord, not by mind, not by power, but by your Holy Spirit, you can go through this phone, you can go through that jail cell, you can go to the drug dealer, you can go to those, Lord, and you can knock upon their heart's door. Like I believe that. That's why I say that, because it's not my strength, it ain't my ability, but to say that the Holy Spirit can't go through a phone, I'm not gonna limit him to that. I know he can. I know he can. I know he can speak through this show right here, any other show. He can use all three of us together here, and somebody's going through something that we're talking about, and God can use us right now at an appointed time to help reach someone else. He uses people. That's what I tell people. I said, God is God, but he uses people, and it's an honor to be used. He used uh look at the people in the Bible, David, I mean, Isaiah, you know, all of them. God uses people, man. So just we got a short time, man. We got short time here on this earth, and my goal is to try to impact as many people, their lives, and see as many souls saved as I can. And that's that's what keeps me going, man, is knowing that uh there's somebody, somebody needs help. And and God send me to that. I'm a hope dealer, right? So like send me. That's why we say send me, Lord, send me to the broken, send me to the discouraged, send me to those people.

SPEAKER_02 35:39

Yeah, there's uh there's a book by Rick Warren called uh A Purpose Driven Life. Uh, you've probably heard of it. I think Rick Rick Warren is wonderful, and it's 40 days, and you read it every day, and it inevitably leads you to your purpose. And you know, when your purpose is helping other people, you know, uh, you know, it's we we're we're we're brought into this world selfish, and we are we we live a selfish life for a long time. But once we get God and once we turn it all over to God, that's the elimination of selfishness, and then we don't gotta worry about us so more, and all we gotta do is worry about other people, and that's where life really takes hold, and that's where life really gets beautiful, is and you get to do it all the time. Krista and I get to do it all the time, you know, watching people get better, whether it's getting better from you know, alcohol or drugs, whether it's getting better from a gambling addiction, whether it's getting better from depression after divorce, we get to see this all the time, and these are the gifts, these are the gifts God gives us, and isn't it isn't gonna be you know something directly for us, but watching other people get better, and you get to do this all the time.

SPEAKER_00 37:00

Well, the scripture says to love your neighbor as thyself, man, for a long time. How can you love your neighbor when you don't even love yourself? So, and that's not being you talking about being selfish, that's not being a selfish type of love, but learning to love yourself in the image who God has created you to be. That's what that means. And when you realize that you are walking in your calling and what God's called you to be, then you can help others. In other words, it rubs off on other people. If if you hang out with me long enough, there'll be certain words that I'll say that you're gonna learn and you're gonna you're gonna say them, your wife or whoever's around you like, hey, where'd you catch that? I've been hanging out with Nick. So same thing. When we when we hang out with Holy Spirit and it rubs off on us, and people hang out with us, it's gonna rub off on them. And that's that's how all this works, man. That's why people want to hear testimony. People wanna wanna want to know, are they hope for me? And when you share your testimony, we're made overcomers by the blood of the lamb and the word of our testimony, right? Like it's the only place in the Bible where God puts testimony with the blood. Think about that. He's he's like, Man, this is so good. Your testimony is gonna use be used for so many people. I'm gonna put it in with the blood of my son. We're made overcomers by the blood of the lamb in the same sentence and uh the word of your testimony. Think about that.

SPEAKER_01 38:28

It's kind of like how you and your wife, you're the beginning of your relationship, you hung out with her long enough and you wanted what she had with God.

SPEAKER_00 38:38

Yeah, but I you know, I couldn't see it though, and and and I see it now. But the people that's hanging out with you guys, they probably can't see it until later on. The same way, they just there's like an attraction there, you know what I'm saying? You don't understand it, but it's Holy Spirit, man. Like the Holy Ghost and the anointing, like people are drawed right to the anointing, they're drawed to the Holy Spirit. Like, I don't know why I'm here. I love listening to you, Nick, but I don't know why. It's over the Holy Spirit, you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_02 39:10

You know, we've we we're very fortunate. We've gotten to see people get their children back, we've gotten to see oh, yeah, we've gotten to see people on sober day one and now have seven months sober, and they just keep coming back, and we just keep you know, driving home that they just keep going, it will get better, just keep going, it will get better, and then it does. And you know, hindsight being 2020, they look back and they say, Oh my goodness, thank goodness I had faith, and uh, thank goodness I listened, thank goodness I stayed the course because life did get better, because it will get better. You just gotta stay the course, stay consistent, be consistent, and you know, and don't expect it happen overnight. Don't expect it, you know, it's God's God's timetable, not yours.

SPEAKER_00 39:56

Uh what brings what comes to my attention is I I posted two to three times a day for 14 years. That's how consistent I am. I spend two or three hours a day just doing my own editing. I do everything myself. I do my videos myself, I do the editing myself, I do uh when I go preach somewhere live, I set up my own tripod and like I'm doing all of this when I sell merch and I'm I'm by myself, I'm setting up my own table, my own heights. Like it's it can, but that's it. That's the only way I know how to do it is stay because I don't look for people to help me. I don't. And I know that may sound weird, but I've been hurt by so many people. If you choose to help me, that's awesome, but I'm not gonna ask for it neither because um I'm gonna do this regardless. I mean, that may sound selfish to you dudes, but I'm I'm gonna do this with or without you.

SPEAKER_01 40:55

I can relate a lot to that.

SPEAKER_00 40:57

You know what I'm saying? Like if you're in, you're in. If you're out, you're out. I'm still doing this with your support or without your support. I'd love to have your support, but if you decide to leave, that ain't gonna stop me. I'm gonna still go preach. See what I'm saying? Um and that's that's how you got to be, man. You you gotta be that grounded where okay, fine. If you want to cut ties with me, I enjoyed the ministry we had, but I gotta go on without you if that's you if that's what you want to do. So I that's that's how it is sometimes, man.

SPEAKER_01 41:31

Keep going.

SPEAKER_00 41:32

You got to, you got to.

SPEAKER_02 41:35

So Nick, let me ask you a question. Now, this is this is gonna be kind of weird, but how many people have you baptized? How many people have you saved?

SPEAKER_00 41:44

I wish I would have uh did a and and I'm starting to do that now. Like everyone that's uh we've been prevented suicide. I'm now starting a group, a private group. And I wish I did this two or three years ago, but I wasn't thinking. And I'm sure y'all do the same thing, right? Like, crap, why didn't we do this last year or whatever? But it's just the busy life that we live. So, okay, so I've been able to prevent 200, but where are they at today? Like that haunts me. Like Billy Graham says this one of the word uh one of his biggest downfalls, he's seen thousands, if not millions, of people.

SPEAKER_02 42:21

Uh-oh.

SPEAKER_01 42:22

Did he freeze right when it's getting real good?

SPEAKER_02 42:25

Right, right when we're when he's talking about Billy Graham. Oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_01 42:28

I know.

SPEAKER_02 42:29

Okay. How powerful is this though, Krista? How amazing you are. I'm telling you, you're in all your glory right now.

SPEAKER_01 42:37

I'm it's so relatable, and just um from talking about forgiveness, that's where I was stuck in my recovery. And it wasn't until I started a faith centered 12-step program that I had a breakthrough and just it's all so good. And I can relate so much. And if you hang around the barbershop long enough, you're gonna get your haircut.

SPEAKER_02 42:58

You know, and then we we use that term in a negative connotation. We use it because you know, when talking about drinking, you know, if uh if you go to the bar, you're gonna drink, you know. If you hang go to the bar, if you hang around a barber long enough, you're gonna get a haircut. But it also works in the positive, you know. You go to enough meetings, you go and talk to uh some people, you know, you hang out, you actually get involved. You know, I see so many people come to meetings and then they go back out and uh and they went to two meetings and expected their life to get better overnight. You gotta it's gotta stick and stay, you know, and uh that might not be your program forever, you know, but uh it's gotta you gotta everybody needs a foundation somewhere, right?

SPEAKER_01 43:44

Yeah. Um and um I like how he said how like you're expecting God to like to be loud and come for you. You know, but you have to quiet, you have to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit. I love that part. I love that. You do you? Have to like quiet your mind and quiet everything.

SPEAKER_02 44:03

I mean, a lot of this sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. We're talking about all that stuff, right? In that one conversation, you know, uh prayer, talking to God and meditation, listening. And what does that even mean? What does that mean? Now, I think when you're having a conversation with like-minded individuals and you've prayed to God for help and guidance, and God puts people in your life, and God put you in my life, and you've helped me so much uh through the this past year that we've been doing or not, you know. And uh, you know, not that I think that you're God, but you're a vessel, and sometimes it's some of the stuff that you say. Well, it's crazy, and I think you're a crazy person sometimes. I you know, there's a lot of things. Don't get offended. Carly, she Carly, you see it, she's always getting offended. Look at I go, I give her one compliment, Carly, and now she's offended.

SPEAKER_01 45:03

I I have a hard time taking compliments, I don't know why. Um, but also him talking about how God um he knows our heart and he knows what we need, and how he'll his video will pop up on somebody who needs to see its feet. It's kind of like Kindle with Hitwalking America, you know.

SPEAKER_02 45:22

Absolutely, yeah. I'm telling you, the FYP, you know, the the people who don't know what the FYP is, it's the for you page, you know, for you page. Uh the technology and AI is gonna tell you uh what you need at that moment.

SPEAKER_01 45:37

It's God's algorithm.

SPEAKER_02 45:39

God's algorithm, you know, or onto some, you know. I'm telling you. If uh if and because I I ran across holy beards, you know, uh uh randomly, randomly, randomly. All of a sudden I got this uh this big guy with this big beard, and he's and he's baptizing people and he's out and he's doing it, you know. And uh that's uh I know that's uh something to emulate, you know.

SPEAKER_01 46:05

It's uh, you know, one not that we should all go out and start baptizing people, but uh it's uh to be his videos that caught my eye were like him kneeling in front of his truck with the perfect sunset behind him, you know, like that's what got my caught my eye, you know. And I and how he makes it about others. You have to make yourself less so you can make God more, you know, and that was good too. It's gotta be a that's not selfish making like making sure you're okay so you can help other people.

SPEAKER_02 46:40

But it's I mean, and it's humility, I'm telling you. Everything I mean it's uh coming from the program, you know, that I come from, and you know, it's uh I hear it in other things because I mean uh as much as you know, we don't want to say that there's not any influence in my program, but uh it's it's based a lot on Christianity and you know, and uh the talk of forgiveness, and you know, and even it's in the it's in my book, Act the Good Samaritan every day. That's a a direct story from the Bible. Uh and you know, and it's true, and I do I try to act a good Samaritan every day and be able to actually be of use and help and stop and help, whereas other people aren't gonna stop and help. They're gonna just keep going by, they're gonna walk past the person suffering. The Good Samaritan is the person that no matter what, whether your enemy or your friend, you still stop and try to help, and you try to be a part of, you know, and uh I love I love the story of the Good Samaritan and the fact that it's in my program, you know, it's uh I love that even more. Um and this uh just the power of prayer, the power of prayer, and you know, asking for for help, and that's humility. And every time we ask for help, whether we're asking God for help, whether we're asking another person for help, you know, whether we're asked whenever you go to if you go to meetings, if you're at a meeting and and they say, Who does anybody have a step or topic? As much as I don't want to raise my hand and I don't want to talk about the stuff going on my life, sometimes it's just enough awkward silence. Anybody have a step or topic? And then it's like 10 seconds of nothing, and finally I go, Oh, yeah, but you can't help yourself, it just comes out. I got something I need to talk about, and you bring it up to 20 people, and you know, you get to your, you know, 20 different perspectives on the same problem, and you're able to build that's God, that's what God does. God talks to us through other people, and I'm and when I'm not thinking about what I'm gonna say next, and I'm actually listening to the people, that's meditation, in my opinion.

SPEAKER_01 49:05

Yeah, yeah, you're listening, that's what it is meditation, listening to God. Um, I like too what he said, how um you go, I don't know why I'm here. You know, like what brought me here? I don't I don't know why I'm here. And it's kind of like how speaking up in a meeting, you don't know why, but you do it, you know, and it it ends up helping somebody if it helps yourself or helps another person that was too scared to say something, you know.

SPEAKER_02 49:35

You know, having so good. Having the platform that we have, especially in the TikTok in the morning, you know, there's then so many times where we bring up a topic or something, and it's something that I'm dealing with personally, and I bring it up as a topic, and then you know, how many people that come through say, I relate to that, and I'm I'm going through that same thing right now. It's uh, you know, it that's is it odd or is it God?

SPEAKER_01 50:05

Yeah, and that's kind of how I pick topics for the Zoom meetings I host. Like last night, I I told them, I said, I'm I kinda asked this question because I want to hear what you guys gotta say. I want to I need something from you guys.

SPEAKER_02 50:19

So it's not always that way, but a lot of times I will do that because I do, and I I do want to feel that connection with somebody that I'm not the only person thinking that, you know, you just feel less alone, and then and some sometimes you know, we might not have the answers, but you know, just having the same problems is enough, you know. Just having the same problems. It's uh we're never alone, never again. That's our new podcast. That's our new podcast.

SPEAKER_01 50:52

We're gonna have to have him on our podcast.

SPEAKER_02 50:53

We we will. Um, and uh unfortunately, I think we're gonna we're running out of time here. Uh, we're gonna thank Holy Beards for coming on. Uh, we're gonna put in the comments all the places that you can go and find Holy Beards. He's on all the social media platforms, and he's uh he's just a wonderful human being who wants nothing more than to help other people. And you know, uh, and our platform here is um we want to help those that are helping others. So, you know, uh he's always welcome back. I think he just I think he just texted me. He's uh he's been having technical difficulties.

SPEAKER_01 51:33

Uh the enemy was gonna try to stop us somehow, somehow.

SPEAKER_02 51:37

Just uh, but uh just thank you all for being here. Thank you for, and we're gonna share this out so people can see at least uh the stuff that he was talking about in the beginning. But thank you, thank you, thank you, and we'll see you next week.