Stop Wearing the Mask: The Courage to Be Real | Ears to Hear #23

I explore the invisible masks we all wear, the brave faces, the “I’m fine” lies, and the walls we build to hide our struggles. I dive deep into why it feels so scary to admit we’re not okay, why we avoid asking for help, and how pretending everything is perfect is quietly hurting us and our relationships.
It’s time to stop performing. This episode encourages raw honesty, the courage to be vulnerable, and the freedom that comes when we finally take off the mask and let people see the real us.

Title Song: Nothing but the Blood of Jesus by Free As a Bird

Sponsors: Be the first

Find me @:

Email: rjmcrae.biz@gmail.com

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@reedmcrae

Tiktok Ears to Hear: https://tiktok.com/@ears.to.hear.pod

Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@reedmcrae 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:08

Thanks for tuning in to Ears to Hear Today, and my admonition today is for each of us to take off our masks. This comes from a deep and personal place that I want to talk about. But I think we often as Christians put up walls and we hide. I think this is just human nature. It's to hide and to not share the truth about what we're going through. And that can be for a myriad of reasons. For me, it often was because I felt like I didn't want to let people down. I didn't want to be somebody who asked for help. I don't know where I picked that up. I just like the idea of not needing help. I can do this on my own. I can fix this. I can figure it out. And I think in that is pride for sure. It's also probably insecurity. I was probably insecure in my ability to be vulnerable, to be truthful, to be honest about I need help. I need somebody to guide me through this experience that I'm going through. Some people hide for many other reasons. Maybe it's shame, it's guilt, maybe it's fear of judgment. Uh the list is probably endless. But I think a lot of us, and we don't recognize it, but a lot of our neighbors, a lot of ourselves, we put on masks, we wear out each and every day a face that we want to be seen as. Oh, he's doing good. He's great. All is well. And I think when people like ask, like if somebody asks you how you're doing, it's very common to just say, good, you know, nothing new. Um I have a friend, he says, as good as it gets, uh you know, I'm chilling. Uh another day in paradise. That's another one a friend of mine says. Is that the case? Is it another day in paradise? Do we feel that way? I don't think so. I really don't. I mean, when was the last time? And I have somebody who when I like it depends, you know, I'll see them and I'm like, oh, like how you been? And depending on the day, the time, you know, they'll tell me, you know, um right now I'm like doing okay. Like, I don't feel great. Oh, you know, talk to me, like what's going on. Oh, and they just tell me, and it's very like matter-of-fact, and it's refreshing because it's not it's never in a way of like woe is me. And I think there's two ends of the spectrum. We can pendulum swing to the side of like desperation and attention seeking, where you know, everything is gloom and doom always. And we know people like that, where it's just no matter what, something is wrong. There's something to complain about, they're not happy. This person at work said this, their career is going south, they're too poor, they you know, which are real concerns, but can they ever have the capability to find a positive silver lining in it? Some people just don't have that. And so, why is this important to being a follower of Christ? Like, why is being vulnerable and honest important to bringing others to Christ and bringing ourselves to Christ? Well, I think it's because that's what Christ did. Like, Christ never lied about how he was doing. I mean, he was very like evident with his apostles, and like he couldn't the reason he didn't fully explain to them the nature of the resurrection that was impending was wasn't because he didn't want to tell them. They the comprehension wasn't there. And we like we read that vibe through the New Testament of Christ with the apostles, where he would tell them things and he'd parabolically explain to them, I'm gonna go away, I'm leaving, but I'll be back soon. Like, what are you talking about? And I I I don't know, I think they understood more than maybe the the New Testament portrays, but there's a reason, you know, he's gone, and Peter's like, I'm going fishing, I'm out of here. I'm just gonna go right back to the life I lived because that's what I know, and my master's gone. And, you know, that's the same Peter who with Christ not too long before had told Christ, you know, where would we go? Like if you leave, like where am I going? Like you have the words of eternal life, no one else does. And to some credit, Peter did just that. He didn't go to some other master when Christ was gone. He went fishing, he went back through a life he knew. Um, but Christ in all regards was like honest with people, and he'd obvious you know, he'd obviously get emotional with some people and be real with them, and he would try and like relate and understand. And when he was sad, he was sad, you know. Christ cried like he, you know, with his mother had intimate moments, and uh I just don't think anywhere as a Christian we're required to 100% of the time be a hundred percent good. You don't always have to be alright, and for me, this comes from a personal place because for the better part of a year, year and a half, I did this, and I think I've discussed this in like old, old YouTube videos, but I like totally wore a mask, I totally hid who I was and pretended like it was just sun sunshine and rainbows in my life, and I didn't want to let on that I wasn't doing well, and frankly, it's because up until that point in my life, like I had always done pretty well, like not like I had done well, but like I was good. I was, you know, I'm a I default as a happy person. My disposition is such that I'm happy, I'm chill, uh, just kind of go with the flow, and I want to maintain that. I like being that way, I think it's a better way to go through life. So either way, you gotta go through stuff. So you can either go through it with like a positive outlook and just accept it, or you can like wrestle every situation you go through. And I just think that's inefficient and harmful to our spirits personally, and so you know, the first time I had gone through this point of like I needed help was when I went and moved to Africa for two years, the first six months. I mean, I was like crushed, and that was so crushing that I couldn't I couldn't hide it, like I literally could not hide the struggles I was going through. I mean, I was crying myself to sleep like every night, more or less, and it was just really hard, and you know, there's moments of good throughout the day, but it was just a very hard experience, and I was forced into and I don't want to say forced, like I didn't have a choice, I did, but I had really no option but to turn to God and like plead for God's help, which is what he needed me to do. He had recognized that I had far too long relied on my own strength and not him enough, and so I learned how to do that then, or so I thought, because then fast forward when I was in my marriage, yeah, I spent like a year and a half. Like the way I always described it is I would put on a show for people where I would go, I'd be with friends, and I'd be with family, and just act like everything was good. And the truth was behind the scenes, behind the curtains, my my relationship, my life was absolutely miserable. It was a horrible experience. Um, you know, my self-talk was terrible. My the list goes on as far as how bad the experience I was in was, but I remember distinctly at this one instance going to San Antonio where my sister lived for my niece's birthday, and I just went, my uh wife at the time stayed behind, and like it was like a three-day trip, it was a pretty brief trip, and I just like was at the bottom, bottom of the barrel emotionally, and I like I was depressed, I was completely depressed and lost, and all I needed was a hug and help, and it wasn't anyone's fault, you know. My parents were there, and my sisters and my niece, it was it was objectively like a happy time. I couldn't have been any less happy. And I put on a show the whole weekend and just smiled through it, and I was a shell, just a shell of who I was, and so it took a while. Now, where I'm at today, 2026, I have no interest in ever doing that again. If I need help, I have core people in my life I turn to after I go to the savior. Every morning, every night in prayer, I'm able to turn to God, ask for help truly, like truly, this is what I'm feeling. I'm turning this to your altar. Please help me. I have zero interest. There was nothing to gain from putting a mask on and pretending like everything was okay. There is zero to gain from doing that. And I've thought about it over and over again. Okay, like what did that do? Did that preserve? Because the truth is, anyone who truly cares about you doesn't care about you maintaining like a certain level of happiness falsely, right? They want you to be happy, but they want it to be real if they really care about you, and they'd much rather take you honest and hurt than you lying and happy. I think that's why there's so much like feeling of betrayal and stuff with with people who like hide. You know, close friends can feel betrayed because it's like I thought we were close, and the issue isn't the friend, it's always inward. You know, the issue wasn't that I didn't trust people. That was never it. It was just I didn't I didn't know how to ask for help. I just simply didn't. And so I think the process of asking for help is simple. It's literally just letting somebody in. All it takes is one person, and I was able to let my friend Brooks in and his wife at the time, and they came in and helped me, and then from there let in my other friends and my family, and you know, to this day I'm I'm hurt that I didn't turn in my family sooner because they were obviously the biggest support through everything I went through. And for any, you know, again, it wasn't that I didn't trust them, I just didn't want to face the music, I didn't want to face the truth, the reality, and it was easier to just pretend like it was good, and maybe things would just fix themselves. And so there's an image, and maybe I'll I can put it on the screen here. Um, but it's it's kind of a weird like artistic style, but it's of like somebody sitting, it's an animated or it's a painting, and it's like uh surrealism a little bit, and it's this like faceless person, and like on the wall hanging are these like yellow masks, they're kind of emoji-esque type uh paintings and and masks. And it's he's like sitting, I think he's facing this way, and there's these different masks. Like, what am I gonna wear today? You should wear nothing but what is the truth for you today. Again, doesn't mean you go and like bog down everybody with your depressing, you know, morning that you had, and but there's it's totally okay and reasonable to like loop in people that are close to you and loop in God on what's actually happening. I think that is so, so important. Um, you know, stop trying to look perfect and just express that you got a little bit of a fracture, something's fractured, you have a stress fracture emotionally. Um, you know, we're obsessed with like trying to portray some curated perfect life, and social media feeds this, but you gotta let go of the mask, you gotta let go of acting like everything's alright all the time because it isn't, that's not reality. And the sooner you can let go of that and let go and realize that your failures by like bringing them to light, they absolve, they can become healed. Uh, there's the imagery of like God, letting God shine in like the darkest corners of your soul, is how they, you know, like that light changes you. But as far as you keep them hidden, you keep them inside and like never let them come to light, it's just you're never gonna grow. Um, I went through this exercise uh recently where I wrote down in this notebook a list of everything, and I'm talking everything I can ever remember since my first memory till now that I've done wrong. I know that sounds extreme, but it was this exercise I'm doing in this workbook and putting everything on paper that you've done that's wrong, that's a sin that hurts somebody is it's scary. It's scary. It took me a few months to do that, and I finally did it a couple months ago. Um, and then sharing that with somebody. And I'm not, this isn't the invitation today, but I tell you what, when you do that, when you face the reality of every choice you've made as a human that is incorrect, that isn't aligned with the will of God, and you bring that to light, and then you bring that to somebody trusted, and then you bring it to God and say, God, here's everything. Something miraculous happens, and there's a superpower that has come into my life because there's nothing I wouldn't now share. There's nothing I feel ashamed about in my life, in my past, and being able to have that integrity with God is priceless. I think that is a virtue that is so rare in the world, like 100% pure integrity to be able to like face the altar of God and say, God, like search my entire soul, I'm cool with it. And this is you know, a new phase in my life where that's where I'm I've entered into, and I just gotta tell you, it's the greatest thing ever. It's it's the greatest the like buzz of peace that just hums in the background of my life now. I can't trade that. I can't give it up. Not saying I might not make a mistake and lose it, but like it, it's it's here, and it's because of something like that, something as extreme as turning it all over to God, letting him take it. God goes, okay, now watch. If you're willing to give me everything, watch what I can do for you, watch the feelings and emotions I can give to you. And it really just like makes everything else go away. Like all the walls, all the emotional walls we put up, all the hiding we've done. Um it's all like torn down, and like God gives you this confidence to be able to just like own authentically who you are in your skin. And it makes it so if people don't like you or or do judge you, you just like it's okay because you now, like I now in my skin, Reed McRae, am cool. I'm cool with what I've done, I'm cool with who I am. I've repented for everything. I, you know, will continue to repent as I continue to inevitably make mistakes. But one thing I will never do is put a mask on again and hide behind the shame of what I've done or what I've felt. My fault or not my fault, imposed upon me by God or self-inflicted choice doesn't matter. We're not wearing any masks anymore. What you see is what you get authentically, and that's the way I think we should live as Christians. And that's my invitation is be authentically yourself, take off the mask this week. Stop lying to yourself, to God, and to those around you. Get help if you need help. Christ asked for help. I'm gonna talk about that in a future episode, but Christ asked for help in the garden. You know, please remove this cup. Christ wasn't above asking for help, neither are you. Thanks for watching Talk Next Week.