Life's Funny...Until It's Not™ - SWIPE RIGHT OR WALK AWAY - DATING LATER IN LIFE

We’re going to talk about something that a lot of us are navigating — or at least thinking about — which is dating later in life. Because let me tell you, swiping right is not the same as passing notes in homeroom. Not even close.

Then we’re heading into Food for Thought, where I’m going to share something that made me stop when I saw it. Something that has everything to do with what it feels like to be told you’re past your prime — and then proving everyone wrong.

And we’ll wrap up with What I’m Learning — my ongoing adventure in being a total beginner. This week? It’s personal. It’s got keys. And it’s proof that you’re never too old to try something that terrifies you just a little.

Three segments, one big idea: we are not done. We are just getting started on the chapter that might actually be the best one yet.

Because life is funny… until it’s not. And when it’s not? That’s when the real stories begin.

Transcript

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Welcome to Life's Funny Until It's Not podcast series on the R2RB Network. I'm Deb La Mata. We're going to talk about something that a lot of us are navigating, or at least thinking about, which is dating later in life. Because let me tell you, swiping right is not the same as passing notes in homeroom. Not even close. Then we're heading into Food for Thought, where I'm going to share something that made me stop when I saw it. And think about it. Something that has everything to do with what it feels like to be told you're past your prime, and then proving everyone wrong. And we'll wrap it up with what I'm learning. My ongoing adventure in being a total beginner. This week it's personal. It's got keys, and it's proof that you're never too old to try something that terrifies you just a little. Three segments, one big idea, and we're not done. We're just getting started on the chapter that might actually be the best one yet. So settle in, I'm glad you're here, because life's funny until it's not, and when it's not, that's when the real stories begin. This podcast is for the 55 plus crowd. For everyone who's navigating the second act, figuring out what comes next, and occasionally laughing so they don't cry, or sometimes doing both at the same time. Today we're talking about dating later in life, and I mean all of it. The apps, the awkward, the wait. When did this become my life? And yes, a possibility that it might actually be kind of wonderful. Whether you're curious, currently in the thick of it, or perfectly content on your own, pull up a cheer, this one's for you. Today on Life's Funny Until It's Not, we're talking about dating later in life. Swipe right or walk away. Dating later in life is a whole different sport than it used to be. Do you remember what it was like dating in your 20s or 30s? I do. Fun, exciting, lots of energy. Definitely adventurous now, at age 55 plus? Where do you even begin? Do you even have the energy? Is it exciting? Or does it feel like you'd rather stay home in a nice comfy pair of sweats? When we were younger, all that time we spent picking out the right outfit, doing our hair, makeup, wax on, wax off. It was part of a time in our lives we looked forward to. Now, do we even have the energy to do half of what we used to? This time around it might be a pair of spanks, comfortable sexy shoes. Is there such a thing? We've gone from the black sexy dress to the black slacks and a smart looking sweater. Even though men might not put in as much effort to look 20 years younger, they have their own rituals as well. It's not easy on either side, this thing called dating in the modern age. Then there's the question, where do you meet people in your own age range these days? When I was in my late teens and early twenties, we went out to a place where we could dance, have a few drinks if you were of drinking age, a wink wink. There was even one very cool place we'd go, and this was before cell phones, that had actual rotary dial phones at the booths. If you saw a cute guy at another table, you'd dial his number, hope he'd pick it up. If I remember correctly, it was called Dial Tone Lounge. If it worked out, you'd end up on the dance floor, and who knows? I'll let your imagination roam with that one. Now here we are, like me, at 67, wondering how we meet someone to go to a movie, go antiquing, share a meal, explore parts of the state we didn't even know existed. Just spending time with someone might we might enjoy being around. We're not hanging out in bars or out dancing on weekends like we used to, but we still want to spend time with someone. Okay, hold on. I'm going to say those words you might not be ready for. Dating apps. Oh my goodness, what the heck? What the heck have I done? The questions start running through your mind. Which apps are the legit ones for the people? 55 plus? How do I spot an imposter? What are the red flags? Good profiles versus bad profiles? And when do you take a chance and swipe right? Oh wait, what the heck is swipe right? In the world of dating apps, swipe right means it might just be a possibility. Then that moment hits. What have I done? How do I uns unsubscribe from the dating world? Panic takes hold for a moment. Deep breath. You think about the worst that could happen. You just don't make any dates. It's okay, really. But if you decide to dip your toe into the dating pool, then go for you. Dating these days can be an exciting proposition or a terrifying thought. This time, while you're dipping your toe, you know what you've liked and disliked from past relationships. Lean on those, write them down, and don't be afraid to share them with your potential new person. Know this as well. There's less pressure dating this time around. If that first date doesn't feel right, say thank you and swipe right again. Or maybe it's just not the right time for you, and in that case, X out of dating. For now. Let me share one of my dating experiences a few years back. Yes, I said one, there might be one or two others, but I'll keep those for another time. One time I swiped right and met a nice man who was soon to be a retired mailman. One of the first rules you need to learn is that the first date should always be in a public location, and you should always tell someone that you're meeting someone for the first time. When and where. So after we texted for a while and felt like we should take it to the next step, oh my, I met my guy at McDonald's for coffee. The coffee date was nice, but he made one irritating comment. He told me that I was one of three he had met for coffee that day. That part didn't bother me. It was the next part. I was the winner the winner Anywho, I'll let that go. And we did date, even moved in together, but unfortunately it didn't work out in the end. Oh, did I mention he drove his car like a mail truck? Stop and go, stop and go, like he was pulling up to every mailbox. I did mention that to him one day. Let's just say that conversation wasn't a winner, but you know what? It was okay. I'm okay, and I was just fine on my own. Because here's the truth. Dating is an option, not a requirement. Keep that at the top of your list because the most important relationship you have is still the one with yourself. So if this is you, 55 plus and looking to dip your toe into the dating game, go for it. Let someone know that you're going to give it a go. Your safety always comes first. Make sure you have a checklist of what to look for, good and bad. Always give someone a heads up that you're meeting someone for the first time and where you'll be. Be smart, but also enjoy this time of your life. Have fun, do a little dance. You've earned it. Remember, life's funny until it's not, or you've swiped right. Welcome to Food for Thought, part of Life's Funny Until It's Not. Right here on the R2RB Network, I'm Deb La Mata. Food for Thought is the part of the podcast where I bring you a story, a real person, a real moment, something that made me stop and think. A real person, a real moment, something that made me stop and think. Sometimes it makes me laugh, sometimes it makes me a little angry, and sometimes it makes me feel like we're going to be just fine. Today's story is one of those all three at once situations. It's about ageism. The kind that sneaks up on you in the workplace and everyday life, and yes, even in dating. And it's about what it looks like when we refuse to accept the narrative that says your past year peak. So let me tell you about Matlock. It took me a minute, but I started watching the new Matlock series starring Kathy Bates. I now wish I had started sooner because I didn't realize how much it would reflect things that have happened in my own life over the last couple of years. The show is about a woman in her 70s who goes back to work as a lawyer, essentially starting over as a rookie. That's how it starts off. Definitely add it to your watch list. But really what gets me is the ageism she faces from the beginning and throughout the series. In the first episode, the character Maddie says that women of her age are invisible to society. People underestimate her, dismiss her, assume she's past her prime. Sound familiar? Here's why this resonates so deeply with me. I retired in November of 2024 after experiencing ageism in the workplace. I've been working since I was 15. That's over 50 years of having a job to go to, of knowing who I was in that 9-5 structure. So when I made the decision to take early retirement, I had to ask myself, was this the right choice? Who am I without that job? Am I going to be okay not having that routine, that identity? But here's what I knew. My responsibilities as my parents' caregiver were only going to grow. I had a lot on my plate, and honestly, the workplace that pushed me out because of my age didn't deserve my energy anymore, so yes, I did make the right decision. Watching Metlock reminds me that retiring or dating or learning something new isn't about being done. It's about choosing what comes next on your own terms. Kathy Bates' character shows up, uses people's assumptions against them, and she proves she's got more to offer than anyone expected. And you know what? So do we. Whether it's dating at 66, 76, 86, starting a podcast, or just figuring out this next chapter, we're not done. We always have something on the back burner. We're just getting started. Welcome to What I'm Learning, part of Life's Funny Until It's Not on the R2RB Network. I'm Deb La Mata. What I'm learning is the part of the show where I get completely honest with you about being a beginner. Because I think there's something important about that. About being willing to not know what you're doing, and about starting from zero. About being bad at something before you get any good at it. And this segment is proof that I practice what I preach. Today's edition involves a keyboard, an app, and the discovery that my fingers have very strong opinions about cooperating with my brain. So remember that keyboard I bought, the one that sat in the box for let's just say longer than I like to admit? Well, I finally unpacked it. It took a few days to get it all together. It came with a stand and a stool, but it's set up now and I'm actually and I've actually started learning. I found an online app that had good reviews, signed up for the pro version, and started following the lessons. And here's the surprise. I've actually found it to be a better experience than I expected. There's something satisfying about those first few lessons, about being a complete beginner and seeing even tiny progress. Now I've only gotten through the first week of lessons because life has thrown some curved balls lately. Caregiving responsibilities have shifted in ways I didn't expect. I won't lie, it's given me brain fog on many days. But you know what? I'm glad I made the purchase. That keyboard isn't going anywhere, and I do want to get to the point one day where I actually play a song. Hope springs eternal, right? And here's the thing I keep reminding myself. Learning something new is always important for brain health. Even if I'm only getting through a lesson here and there between everything else, I'm doing something for myself. I'm being a beginner again, just like we talked about with dating. Willing to be awkward, willing to start from zero, willing to try. So if you've been thinking about learning something new, an instrument, a language, a craft, this is your sign. Unpack that thing. Sign up for that class. You don't have to be good at it right away. You just have to start. And that's a wrap on today's episode of Life's Funny Until It's Not. Thank you for spending this time with me. I mean that genuinely. You didn't have to be here and you chose to show up. That matters. If something we talked about today hit home for you, whether it's dating, ageism, learning something new, or just the general experience of figuring out this chapter of life, I love to hear from you. Find me at R2R Broadcasting on Facebook and Instagram, or head over to r2rb.com. And if this show means something to you, the best thing you can do is share it. Tell a friend, tell your sister, tell whoever in your life is sitting somewhere wondering if it's too late to start something, let them know it isn't. New episodes of Life's Funny Until It's Not, drop right here on the R2RB Network. You can find us on BusRoute and wherever you get your podcasts. And catch out of the Attic Live from Delaware Sundays at 7 p.m. Eastern Standard Time. Until next time, take good care of yourself, be patient with yourself, and remember, even when life isn't funny, you don't have to go through it alone.